(EAW Intro Plays.)
(Camera opens to the outside of the Garrett Coliseum as the Montgomery, Alabama sky shines a dark blue. The box office is briefly seen with signs in the window that reads “SOLD OUT” as the roaring crowd can be heard from the inside.)
(Camera then focuses on the arena door as a man in a black hoodie with the hood up then walks to the door. He pulls out a pocket knife and then looks quickly around him. He jams the knife into the door latch, popping it open before hurrying inside, remaining unseen by security.)
(“DNA” by Kendrick Lamar then plays as the Showdown intro plays for the broadcast. The camera then opens up to the arena where the packed crowd is cheering wildly.)
SCREENBAR — SOLD OUT
(Camera continues to pan over the crowd as various signs are seen such as “I WANT MY MTV”, “MAGNUM GOATUS”, and “RETURN OF THE MACK” before panning over to Eve and Deadprez at the commentary desk.)
Eve: HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME! IT IS SATURDAY NIGHT! AND THIS IS EAW’S FLAGSHIP SHOW, SATURDAY NIGHT SHOWDOWN!!! I’M EVE AND I AM JOINED AS ALWAYS BY DEADPREZ!!
Deadprez: That’s right! And we are here on the last Showdown before Grand Rampage!! We are expecting a number of major events tonight including number one contender to the New Breed Championship, SOSA Henderson, face to face with his opponent, Visual Prophet! And we will see Jake Smith and Joshua Nicholls of the Roundtable, known as a duo as the Revolution, back in action as they prepare for their Unified Tag Team Championship opportunity at Grand Rampage.
Eve: Not only that but former Showdown mainstay, Rex McAllister, will be making his one night return to the blue brand as he takes on Jack Haze in a Grand Rampage preview! Both Rex and Jack are slated to take part in the 30 man over the top match that will see the winner move on to take part in a main event match at Pain for Pride! I have to say that both of these men have to be considered favorites in their own right to take home the big victory next week but on a smaller scale as we just look at this match, they’re two technically skilled workers who should be ready to put on a clinic tonight!
Deadprez: And last week saw a massive announcement as the main event between Openweight Champion, TLA, and King of Elite, Malcolm Jones, came to stalemate as neither could break the referee’s ten count. Therefore Hurricane Hawk declared that both men would be cashing in their respective prizes to face Ahren Fournier at Grand Rampage in a triple threat match. Tonight’s main event was originally set to be a preview of that match as TLA and Malcolm were going to square off against Ahren Fournier and Kassidy Heart, collectively known as Magnum Opus, in tag team action.
Eve: That’s right DP, but one man in particular took umbrage with that plan. Chris Elite declared at a live event earlier this week that he was sick and tired of feeling like he was overlooked since coming to Showdown. Not satisfied with being placed in a qualifier to earn a Grand Rampage spot, he used his Gawd Contract abilities to cancel both the originally scheduled main event and his set qualifier in order to challenge Ahren Fournier one on one. And if Chris can manage the victory, he will he added to the EAW Championship match at Grand Rampage, making it a fatal four way for the title! What do you think DP? Does Chris pull it out of the bag and make his way into the title match?
Deadprez: I’d like to think he will but Chris has struggled against Ahren I’m the past. Let’s not forget he came a hair away from victory at King of Elite and that’s not the first time these two have faced off. The big question is whether or not Chris can overcome someone who’s had his number for some time now.
Eve: That’s a fair way to put it, Deadprez. Well that’s later on. For now we are set to get things underway with our first contest of the night! Let’s go to Gina Romano inside the ring!
(The camera cuts to Gina Romano in the ring.)
Gina Romano: The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for… ONE FALL!!
(‘La Marmelade de Ma Grand Mère’ by Florent Caubien hits!!!)
Gina Romano: Introducing first from Triffouillis-les-Oies, France weighing in at 204 pounds… “The Unvictorious” PRRRRROVENCALLLLL!!!
(Provencal makes his way to the ring angrily grabbing a fan’s french fries and stomps on them before calling him racist.)
Deadprez: Damn Provencal really showing these dumb hicks! He is a family man with lots of kids! Show him some respect!
Eve: I’m pretty sure that fan was just minding his business eating his meal Dead. Provencal needs to chill out!
Provencal: I’m not even mad tho!
(Provencal is shown picking up the fries dusting them off and returning them to the fan before apologizing giving him a mild applause from the audience.)
Deadprez: Wow what a good guy!
(“FAT” by Weird Al hits to an eruption of cheers from the crowd.)
Gina Romano: And his tag team partner from Little Rock, Arkansas weighing in at an astonishing 450 pounds… “The Absolute Unit” CHUUUUUUDDDDDD!!!
(Chudd is shown emerging from a crashed helicopter wearing an extravagant and shiny robe in the parking lot as he makes his way to the ring.)
Deadprez: Damn Chudd always has to make an entrance.
Eve: I’m not so sure that’s what this is Dead. I have to imagine Chudd is still salty over losing the Hot Pocket Challenge to Provencal weeks ago. This team may not want to co-exist after such a personal loss for Chudd.
(‘Give ‘Em Hell, Kid’ by My Chemical Romance hits to loud boos from the crowd.)
Gina Romano: And their opponents they are the tag team of Joshua Nicholls and Jake Smith… THE REVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVOLUTION!!!!
(The Revolution makes their way to the ring mocking their opponents. Joshua Nicholls is shown eating french fries as he walks down the ramp. Jake Smith mocks Chudd by taking a sumo stance in the ring.)
Eve: Wow this is so disrespectful! I can’t even! Omigosh!
Deadprez: What is disrespectful is putting a top class tag team like The Revolution up against these two jokes! I am so sick of all these comedy acts on Showdown coming in and making a mockery of this sport! Absolutely pathetic! Sad!
Eve: Come on Dead don’t be mean. Chudd and Provencal are good guys!
Deadprez: This is just more power abuse from Hurricane Hawk to hold down The Revolution but The Revolution cannot be stopped! He is lucky that these two even bothered to team up tonight and compete!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Eve: We are underway as Provencal starts things off against Jake Smith. Provencal looks like he wants to lock up and grapple with Jake who just laughs at him and raises his arms to lock up. Provencal charges in… but Jake punches him hard right between the eyes! Provencal goes down! Jake Smith jumps up on him and continues to land blow after blow after blow onto the face of Provencal. Provencal tries to roll out of the ring but Jake kicks him hard in the side of his head. Provencal nearly falls out of the ring but Jake swings around the ropes with a Tiger Feint Kick to knock him back in. Jake grabs the hair of Provencal yelling at him before slamming his face down hard on the mat. Jake now off the ropes as he makes the tag to Joshua. Jake with a knee drop across Provencal’s face as he rolls through and under the bottom ropes. Jake gloats on the outside in front of the fans before returning to his corner.
Deadprez: Chudd looking on angrily. Or hungrily. It is hard to tell. Joshua with a headlock on Provencal in the ring but he is only getting more aggressive with it. Joshua flailing around Provencal with his arms wrapped around his neck. Wait Provencal pulls Joshua by the arm taking him down! Joshua immediately back up now in the corner as Provencal charges in! NO! Joshua moved out the way! Joshua from behind grabs Provencal… right back into that violent shaking headlock! Provencal struggling desperately backing Joshua up into the corner and managing to break free!!! Joshua sent forward. Provencal charges in!!! But Provencal gets his head kicked off with a Big Boot from Joshua Nicholls! The cover!!!
Referee: ONEEEEEE!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: Provencal somehow kicks out! How can this be?!?!?
Deadprez: Joshua Nicholls now tagging in Jake Smith! Wait! Provencal tripped him! But Joshua made the tag anyway!!! Joshua trips and falls out of the ring as his partner enters! But Provencal trips him too! Provencal off the ropes with a Running Senton onto Jake Smith! The cover! HUGE UPSET!!!
Referee: ONEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Eve: Jake Smith kicks out! Provencal now going to his corner to tag in Chudd! But Chudd is too lazy to even lift his arm! Provencal struggling to get to the corner as Jake Smith grabs his leg!!! He reaches out and tag in Chudd by slapping his jiggling gut! My god look at those waves! Chudd steps over the top rope into the ring! But he trips!!! The entire ring moves at least a foot as Chudd collapses in the ring! Jake Smith dives into the cover!
Referee: ONEEEEEE!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: CHUDD KICKS OUT WITH AUTHORITY!!! Jake Smith sent flying through the air but he lands on his feet! Jake with a Knee Drop onto Chudd!!! Jake bounces off Chudd like rubber as he hits another knee drop! Provencal now trying to help Chudd out! He reaches deep down into his tights! Eeew I don’t even want to know what he has down there!
Eve: It’s a hot pocket! Holy shit look at how big Provencal’s hot pocket is! It has to be at least ten inches long!
Deadprez: I’ve seen longer.
Eve: Provencal now tossing that massive hot pocket across the ring to Chudd!!! NO!
Deadprez: Jake Smith caught the hot pocket instead! He throws it to the ground and stops on it! Chudd is roaring in anger! Jake has gone too far!!! Chudd now back to his feet as he charges at Jake! But Jake easily sidesteps him kicking him from behind taking Chudd’s legs out from under him. Jake Smith with the smarts as he strategically climbs to the top rope and lands a Flying Elbow Drop on Chudd! Jake Smith now yelling out to the crowd.
Jake Smith: He ain’t that big!!
Eve: Wait is Jake Smith trying to LIFT Chudd???!?!? This won’t end well!!
Deadprez: Holy shit he has Chudd up on his feet! Can he slam the giant!!! The referee begging Jake to reconsider!! Jake being distracted by the referee… WAIT FROM BEHIND!!!
Eve: Joshua Nicholls with a low blow on Chudd from behind! Jake Smith with an evil smile! He never intended to slam Chudd! This was a setup all along!
Deadprez: Well he would have to be pretty stupid to try to slam Chudd. What an intelligent man! Well educated!
Eve: Chudd collapsed as Jake begins delivering multiple knees into his opponent! KNEEL TILL THE DEATH!!! Usually he does this as his opponent is kneeling but Chudd would prolly blow out his knee caps if he tried something like that! Chudd is busted open! His face bleeding out like hot pocket sauce! The cover by Jake!!!
Referee: ONEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! TWOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Gina Romano: Here are your winners… THE REVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVOLUTION!!!
(‘Give ‘Em Hell, Kid’ by My Chemical Romance hits to the annoyance of the crowd.)
Deadprez: What an impressive win! The Revolution barely had any challenge at all with these jokes! You see Eve this is the difference between a comedy tag team and a serious tag team that actually works every day to be the best. Not even that. The Revolution was born with this kind of talent and they proved tonight just how good they are!!!
Eve: Well I don’t know if I agree with all of that Dead… but I do have to admit that The Revolution was very impressive tonight making short work of their opponents. It is only a matter of time before Hurricane Hawk will have to start taking them seriously I suppose. Otherwise they are just going to keep hurting everyone in the ring against them.
(Camera focuses on Jake and Josh celebrating as Cori Simmons is then seen making her way into the ring.)
Cori Simmons: Jake, Josh, congratulations on a big win tonight heading into Grand Rampage!
Jake Smith: No need for congratulations. It was a guarantee. Just like next week.
Joshua Nicholls: These people have witnessed the devastation that we bring. They know what we can do. So watching this match was a forgone conclusion. There’s one thing on our minds. The tag belts held by the Jaded Hearts.
Cori Simmons: Well…speaking of the Jaded Hearts you will be facing them and Myles and Xander Payne at Grand Rampage, mind giving the EAW Universe your thoughts?
Jake Smith: I mean, already we’ve said this multiple times,The Revolution aren’t losing, we have no fear. We learned from our mistakes, we learned what went wrong when we last faced The Jaded Hearts now I’m pretty sure we can figure out what they’re up to.
Cori Simmons: And what about Xander and Myles?
Joshua Nicholls: GoldenPayne? You mean the troubled couple? They don’t even like each other we don’t expect anything from them, there’s 0 to no chemistry, like a tag team should have. They hate each other to the bone and they didn’t have a choice but to team with each other. This is another Jack Haze and Cody Marshall dilemma, they’re only in it for the titles. But they won’t get the titles, they can throw shots at us all they want, they underestimate us. Xander? He’s been here longer than us sure yet, does that really mean he’s better? Look at the people we beat, they’ve been here longer than Xander, you think he’s honestly a challenge? Myles, the golden boy, the person you can’t seem to get your eyes off of, ohhh he has the most potential woww. Honestly, grow up, Myles ain’t the future, the future is in the middle of this ring, and no it’s not you Cori.
Cori Simmons: … Anyways, do you think that you two are going to win at Grand Rampage?
(The Revolution stare at her for a second then burst off their chairs laughing. They get up and collect themselves and begin speaking again)
Jake Smith: THINK? THINK???? Oh Cori, you have a lot to learn about us. The Revolution don’t think we’re winning, it’s a FACT we’re winning.
Joshua Nicholls: What makes you think we think we’re going to lose, have you ever seen us doubt ourselves, no. No you haven’t.
(Cori Simmons stares at them in disbelief as the Revolution lower their mics and make fun of Cori in secret)
Jake Smith: Anyways if you have any other stupid questions to ask be my guest.
Cori Simmons: I think that’ll be all…
Joshua Nicholls: Alright then, everyone have a nice day and fuck off.
(Cori stands in disbelief as Jake and Josh exit the ring and make their way up the ramp, mocking the booing fans the whole way up.)
(Commercial for “Conveying The Pick”, the journey of the Memphis Grizzlies to find success after a year of pain.)
(The Camera opens to find the Visual Prophet in the ring with Nina and Veena Adams. The ring canvas has been covered in a purple shag carpet and Vizzy sits on a velvet upholstered throne with the New Breed Championship in his lap. Nina sits on the arm of the throne and Veena sits on a luxurious purple chair with wheels on the side… for decoration and commemorative purposes of course.)
Visual Prophet: Welcome everyone… Showdown is now blessed to enjoy the experience that is the Visual Prophet for the first time. There’s no need to thank me. You’re welcome.
(The crowd boos as Viz speaks. Viz lofts his sunglasses up and looks around aghast at the booing crowd.)
Visual Prophet: You dare boo your New Breed Sovereign?
Veena Adams: Let them boo, Vizzy darling. They aren’t capable of comprehending the magnificence that sits in front of them. They boo simply because of jealousy. Besides, these peasants aren’t why we came here tonight.
Visual Prophet: Right you are, my vanilla goddess. We are here tonight to confront the thief, the criminal who has dared to declare himself worthy of my Championship. The damn fool who thought it a wise idea to steal something from the perfect Veena Adams. Ever since the aptly named King of Elite, I have reigned as the New Breed Champion and never have I seen such blatant disregard for social hierarchy. Veena has been made a victim by the filth of these rosters. Tyler Wolfe caused her crippling paralysis that Gawd touched her and healed her from at the perfect moment because she deserves her ability to walk. Veena was scarred as Myles assaulted me in front of her, but as the true warrior I am, I powered through and laid the soldier to rest. And now Veena has suffered again as SOSA Henderson has stolen her gorgeous and priceless bracelet! I DEMAND that SOSA come out here and pay for his actions!
(Viz pauses and stares at the stage as nothing happens. He begins to get annoyed as he waits.)
Veena Adams: It seems he’s scared of you, Vizzy. But if he’s a real man, he will come out here and face us. Or is this how talent behaves on these lesser brands? Running around stealing things from their betters only to gift those things to the yeast infected cum dumpsters over on Empire? Are they—
(“Love SOSA” by Chief Keef hits to interrupt Veena as SOSA Henderson walks out. He slides into the ring and looks between the three sitting in their seats.)
SOSA Henderson: Well what do we have here? Seems like I got one person running their mouth about me and their two lap dogs out here yapping.
(Viz stands to face him but SOSA ignores Viz and steps towards Veena.)
SOSA Henderson: So Veena, before I address your lap dogs, let me clear up a couple of things.
(Vizzy looks dumbfounded to be disrespected and called a lap dog but Veena waves for him to calm down.)
SOSA Henderson: Scared of your little bitch? Hardly. See I don’t come out here when commanded by fools like you three. But you gonna run your mouth about Serena, then you best get your ass ready. So before you open your mouth again lemme recommend you think about something. If women are so incapable of competing in this ring, yet Tyler Wolfe’s kick was able to do as much damage as you claim… you really wanna make a man that mad at you? Just looking at it from your perspective. Because I ain’t afraid to hurt someone who deserves it.
(Veena looks taken back, Visual Prophet is standing at the ready but SOSA looks unafraid.)
SOSA Henderson: And as far as your little comment about me “stealing from my betters”… first of all, you can’t prove a damn thing so all your little speculation is doing is trying to slander my good name. And second, if someone did steal your bracelet… then you for damn sure deserved it. You run around here talking about how much better you are than anyone and anything else but when it all boils down you’re no better than the scum that gets cleaned out of the bottom of a worn pair of kicks. You talk about how some people deserve things in life and others don’t. And you know what, I agree. People who work their whole damn life to climb up and achieve better than what they started with deserve to find riches in this world. While blonde bimbos who get handed everything because of their name deserve nothing. So whoever stole your shit, they probably took it to give to someone who actually deserved to wear it.
(Veena looks stunned at SOSA’s words. He turns his head to Viz.)
SOSA Henderson: And the same goes for your leashed pets. This little homoerotic fuck who has actually convinced himself that he runs things when in actuality he’s just a puppet with an Adams’ hand up his ass. All I have to do is beat your Kermit the Frog ass at Grand Rampage? Well where others have struggled, SOSA Henderson thrives. The New Breed Majesty will be crowned and your little comedy act where you get cheap ass wins by Veena’s help and talk about how dominant you are, that shit’s done.
Visual Prophet: I think your turn to talk is ov—
Veena Adams: HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU SAY A DAMN THING ABOUT ME OR WHAT I HAVE SUFFERED IN LIFE! I am blessed by the hand of gawd himself and you will respect me as such you cretin! You’ll never be anything more than a criminal! A thief who deserves to rot in prison with the rest of the scum this planet produces! Locked up for the rest of your life! IN FACT! That’s what this match should be! You locked up with Vizzy where he can punish you for your crimes against me! A STEEL CAGE MATCH!
(Viz looks at Veena with an expression that reads “you want me locked up with that?!?”)
SOSA Henderson: *grinning* Well in case you forgot, your ass got fired last week. You don’t make matches anymore. But as an active member of the roster, I’ll send word to Hawk and Captain Charisma that Veena Adams insisted this be a match where Viz is locked in the cage with me, and Veena remains locked on the outside.
(SOSA smirks as he exits the ring. Veena stares at him enraged as he leaves, disregarding Viz trying to talk to her off mic, patting him on the arm saying “it’s fine”.)
(Commercial for Taco Bell’s new GRANDE GRANDE GRANDE burrito featuring the only man capable of eating it… HOT POCKET CHAMPION PROVENCAL!)
(The camera opens to Gina Romano in the middle of the ring)
Gina Romano: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(The crowd quickly turns silent as “Architects” by Rise Against as Justiciar Eric comes out to the stage, he turns around flaunting the words “The One” on the back of his jacket as the crowd realizing who he is, starts booing)
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST…FROM JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA, WEIGHING IN AT 220 POUNDS…THE ONE…JUSTICIAR…ERIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: Justiciar Eric has been on a roll lately, gaining entry into the Grand Rampage match let’s see if he can turn some heads beating MTV tonight.
Eve: Since when did you like Justiciar Eric?
Deadprez: Since the last few weeks.
(Justiciar Eric enters the ring and sits cross legged on the floor as “Architects” is replaced by “Buzzin’” by Mann and MTV comes out to warming cheers)
Gina Romano: AND HIS OPPONENT…RESIDING IN BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA, WEIGHING IN AT 165 POUNDS…M…T…V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: I think it’s safe to say MTV is the fan favorite to win in this matchup tonight.
Eve: Let’s not forget what you said before Dead, Justiciar Eric is the flame that can’t be extinguished, it’s only a matter of watching to see who the best truly is.
(Justiciar Eric walks up to MTV and immediately shoves him, but before MTV can do anything the ref gracefully splits them apart)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: Here we go- JUSTICIAR ERIC! HE’S ATTACKED MTV, HE’S STOMPING HIM DOWN IN THE CORNER, MTV GETTING UP AS ERIC MOVES BACK…MISSILE DROPKICK! MTV FLOORED ALREADY AS ERIC GOES UP TO THE TOP ROPE QUICKLY! BUT MTV IS GETTING UP WITH ERIC! ERIC PUSHING HIM AWAY, BUT MTV PULLING HIM DOWN, HE’S PUSHED HIM INTO THE CORNER! SLAP BY MTV! AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN! HE’S MOVING BACK…LEAPING OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE, BIG SLAP- NO ERIC MOVES OUT OF THE WAY, SUPERKICK! BOTH MEN FALL DOWN, extremely exhausted from what they did I suppose. ERIC! HE’S PUT A HAND ON MTV, PIN!
Eve: KICKOUT! Eric grabbing the middle rope, he’s climbing up, BUT MTV…CLOTHESLINE OUT OF THE RING! MTV RUNNING THE ROPES…SUICIDE DIVE BY MTV! Justiciar Eric knocked right onto the barricade, he’s grabbing the barricade trying to get up…DROPKICK BY MTV!
Eve: The count starts as MTV grabs Eric…OH! ERIC THROWN RIGHT ONTO THE RINGPOST, HE’S CLUTCHING HIS HEAD AS MTV FOLLOWS HIM AS HE STUMBLES AWAY!
Eve: BUT NOW ERIC DRIVES MTV BACK FIRST INTO THE APRON! Eric steps away to gather himself before coming back on the offensive!
Deadprez: Justiciar Eric being stopped by MTV kicking him in the leg, Eric down on one knee, looking extremely exasperated. MTV moves to the front of Eric…DDT!
Deadprez: MTV rolling onto the ring apron but not under the ropes as Eric grabs the edge of the apron.
Eve: MTV is set on the apron as he looks to do some more damage on Eric…HE LIFTS UP HIS FOOT…
Eve: NO! ERIC SWEEPING MTV OFF THE APRON AND ONTO THE FLOOR!
Deadprez: Eric wasting no time, he wants to win this right. Eric throwing MTV back in the ring as he follows. MTV is crawling to the corner, but Eric isn’t waiting for pity, he’s grabbing MTV by the head.
Justiciar Eric (Off-Mic): You of all people should know I’m not one to mess with. If you don’t know that know, I guess I’ll have to teach that to you…
Eve: Eric giving a subtle warning, HE PUSHES MTV TO THE CORNER, Eric going under…he’s put MTV into a electric chair position, MTV SLIPPING AWAY, Justiciar Eric with a BACK ELBOW- MTV DUCKS UNDER, Justiciar Eric throwing MTV TO THE CORNER, nope MTV hops to the middle…top turnbuckle…SITOUT FACEBUSTER, MTV CONNECTS WITH THE AWWWWW HERE IT GOES! MTV WITH THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: KICKOUT! MTV ISN’T DONE…HE MOUNTS ERIC, GROUND AND POUND! MTV LANDING PUNCHES DOWN ON ERIC AS HE’S HELPLESS, MTV bringing him up…SLEEPER HOLD! MTV YANKING AT ERIC, ERIC IS TRYING EVERYTHING SQUIRMING AROUND LIKE A WORM…HE FALLS! BUT ERIC…ROPE BREAK! JUSTICIAR ERIC GRABS THE ROPES, MTV NOT LETTING GO THOUGH!
Ref: ONE TWO THREE FOUR-
Eve: MTV lets go, Eric crawling up to MTV, using his arm to pull himself up…MTV WITH A ARMDRAG, MTV is walking over to the top rope, looks like his usual swagger is replaced by a look of determination. He’s up to the top rope…THE URKEL DANCE! THE MODIFIED DOUBLE STOMP MOONSAULT- NO ERIC MOVES OUT OF THE WAY BUT MTV LANDS ON HIS FEET… STANDING MOONSAULT TO ERIC! MTV WITH THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: KICKOUT! JUSTICIAR ERIC HASN’T GIVEN UP…but MTV hasn’t given up either as he brings Eric to his feet, BUT ERIC WITH A FOREARM!…CHAOS IMPACT, JUMPING CUTTER! ERIC CRAWLING FOR THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: KICKOUT! BOTH MEN HAVE GONE HAYWIRE AS THEY BRING THEMSELVES UP, THEIR DOING A BACK AND FORTH! PUNCH, FOREARM, PUNCH, FOREARM…GUT KICK BY JUSTICIAR ERIC…KICK TO THE GUT AGAIN! DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POSITION BY ERIC…FACEBUSTER THE DESECRATION CONNECTS! ERIC COLLAPSES ONTO MTV!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: KICKOUT! ERIC IS LIVID, HE’S STOMPING DOWN ON MTV LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW MTV COWERS IN THE FEAR AS HE ROLLS OUT OF THE RING! BUT ERIC ISN’T DONE, SUICIDE DIVE! ERIC GRABBING MTV BY THE HAIR…OH! OH! HE’S SLAMMING MTV’S FACE RIGHT ONTO THE BARRICADE, AND MTV CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! MTV is left a dirty mess on the floor as Eric towers over him. Eric throwing MTV into the ring, MTV running over to the corner…ERIC WITH A CLOTHESLINE! HE’S THROWN MTV BACK INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING! Justiciar Eric is stalking MTV, he wants to finish this…ORDER IMPACT AGAIN! JUSTICIAR ERIC GOES FOR THE PIN ON MTV!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN YOUR WINNER, JUSTICIAR…ERIC!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: Well I guess Justiciar Eric bested MTV.
Eve: This isn’t the end for MTV I’m sure of it- WHAT!
Eve: SOME GUY IN A BLACK HOODIE JUST JUMPED THE BARRICADE AND IS BEATING DOWN ON JUSTICIAR ERIC! RAINING PUNCHES DOWN NOW ONTO THE ONE AS ERIC TRIES TO COVER UP! But now here comes the referee yanking the hooded figure off of Eric! This is why fans shouldn’t—
Deadprez: THE REF YANKS THE HOOD DOWN! THATS SHANE GATES! SHANE GATES RETURNS TO ATTACK JUSTICIAR ERIC! And Gates has a massive grin on his face as Eric now rolls out of the ring and scrambled up the ramp! Eric turns and sees the face of his attacker and is shocked! He thought he took Gates out! Shane grabs a microphone.
Shane Gates: Hey pal. Did ya miss me?
Justiciar Eric (off mic): NO! NO! I GOT RID OF YOU!
Shane Gates: No. Hurt me pretty good. I’ll give you that. But I’m not that easy to take out.
Justiciar Eric: NO! I AM THE ONE! I AM THE ONE!
Shane Gates: Yeah Yeah Yeah. You’re The One. We’ve all heard it by now. Big contract, private perks, etcetera and so forth. But here’s the thing. I took a little trip to EAW’s legal department back in Newark. And I’ve got a copy…
(Shane pulls a folded piece of paper out of his pocket.)
Shane Gates: …of your real contract.
(Eric looks stunned on the ramp.)
Shane Gates: And I gave it a nice little read as well. See what this is… is a basic rookie contract. Same one I got when I started here. When you quit you thought you were gonna power play your way into gifts and perks. But you forgot one little thing. No one else wanted to sign you! So you came crawling back and managed to keep your original contract in tact. But you couldn’t tell anyone that, right? So you’ve been blowing through your salary trying to keep this whole facade alive! You took up some dumb monicker because it made you feel special and important, and hey, it even got you a couple wins. Congratulations. But I’m here to expose the lies. You took me out where I couldn’t compete for weeks. Now I’m taking away your entire facade.
(Eric is steaming on the outside.)
Justiciar Eric (off mic): OK! MAYBE I DON’T HAVE THAT CONTRACT I TALKED ABOUT! BUT I AM STILL THE ONE! I AM THE MAN WHO WILL LEAD THIS COMPANY INTO A NEW ERA! WHEN I WIN THE GRAND RAMPAGE AND THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP AT PAIN FOR PRIDE, I WILL SHOW EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WHY YOU WERE ALL WRONG ABOUT ME AND YOU WILL ALL BE BEGGING TO SIGN ME!!!
Shane Gates: Speaking of the Grand Rampage… I’ll be seeing you in there. Because I’m declaring myself for the match right here, right now. I’m going in there, and if I can’t win it, I’ll fight my ass off to make damn sure that you can’t either.
(Shane drops the microphone as Eric continues to scream from the ramp, but Shane has a confidence smirk on his face.)
(Commercial for EAW 2k20, currently in production.)
(Camera opens to find Cori Simmons standing backstage with a microphone in hand.)
Cori Simmons: My guest at this time is the man who created quite the buzz this past week and will face Ahren Fournier in tonight’s main event. Ladies and gentlemen, Chris Elite.
(Chris and Big Mike step into frame. Chris looks confident and focused.)
Cori Simmons: Chris, you utilized your Gawd Contract to create this match tonight. What was going through your head when you made that decision?
Chris Elite: Its simple. I got tired of waiting. Hawk wanted me to have to qualify for the Grand Rampage? I’m a former World Heavyweight Champion. I’m the man that ended Jamie O’Hara’s run at the top. I’m the man who beat the Chairman to earn his very own Gawd Contract! And yet I have to qualify against some rookie while two bozos I’ve beaten before are gonna ride off to the World Championship picture around here? Hell nah. But I’m not gonna let anyone say I took the easy way. So I’m here to once and for all take down that snot-hooved bitch we call champion around here and make my path into that match.
Cori Simmons: Well in light of this decision, Jason Mavis, your original opponent for tonight, has been added to the Grand Rampage match due to the qualifier being canceled. Word is that with the return of Shane Gates later tonight, that was the final available slot for a Showdown roster member. What are your thoughts on the idea that if you lose tonight, you may not even get onto the Grand Rampage show?
Chris Elite: First off, I don’t like you talking about me losing like it’s some foregone conclusion. You sound like some of those dickeaters that left here for Japan. Second, losing is just not an option. Tonight I remind everyone exactly why I’m called Gawd Given Greatness.
(Chris storms off and Big Mike steps in.)
Big Mike: So… uh… these rumors about you stalking SOSA Henderson…
Cori Simmons: Go away.
(Commercial for Goldfish crackers. Great snack to keep children happy. Also great for keeping you going at 3 am.)
(Showdown returns from commercial break and cuts to Gina, who is standing by in the ring.)
Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
Gina Romano: AND IT’S A GRAND RAMPAGE PREVIEW MATCH!!!
(“Revolution” by The Beatles begins to play, and Jack Haze walks out onto the stage. The fans cheer for Showdown’s rising star, and as usual, Jack is smiling and full of energy!)
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST!!! FROM SANTA, MONICA CALIFORNIA! WEIGHING IN AT 211 POUNDS!!! HE IS THE ENLIGHTENED… JACK HAZE!!!
Deadprez: Jack Haze is making his way to the ring first tonight, and I have to say, I’m pretty stoked to see what he brings to the table against someone as accomplished as Rex McAllister.
Eve: First of all, I have LOVED every single one of these Grand Rampage preview matches that the brands have been putting on for the last couple of weeks. They have all been nothing short of amazing, and it just makes me even more excited for next weekend. And secondly, Jack Haze getting an opportunity to face and potentially defeat a two-time world champion is probably one of the biggest opportunities he’s had in EAW so far.
Deadprez: If Haze can defeat Rex tonight, that is going to put every man competing in Grand Rampage on notice because no one has been able to pin or submit Rex this season.
(Haze slides into the ring, and does his usual taunts before his music fades away. It’s soon replaced by “Still Unbroken” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. The crowd absolutely loses its collective mind as Rex McAllister walks out.)
Gina Romano: AND HIS OPPONENT… FROM SEA ISLE, NEW JERSEY!!!! WEIGHING IN AT 238 POUNDS!!! REX MCALLISTER!!!!!
Eve: LISTEN TO THIS OVATION FOR THE RETURNING REX MCALLISTER!
Deadprez: Not that any of us ever doubted that he was missed on Showdown, but these fans are certainly letting their feelings be known right now!
Crowd: WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK!
(Rex pats his heart and starts heading to the ring, his game face firmly in place now. He knows he has business to take care of tonight. Rex gets inside the ring, and removes his Fire & Ice jacket. The referee checks with Jack to make sure he’s ready. Both men seem more than ready to get this match underway, and without further ado, the referee calls for the bell.)
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Eve (in a joking tone): Here we go! This isn’t a deathmatch so I’m not sure how Rex McAllister is going to fare here tonight.
Deadprez: Who knew Rex would go to that snotty pure wrestling show and somehow become a hardcore king?!
Deadprez: Rex and Haze are circling one another and it’s Rex who initiates the lock up. They jostle back and forth for position, and it’s Rex who grabs the arm and wrestles Haze to the ground. Haze still has feet under him though and he’s trying to work his way back up, however Rex is switching his grip to the waist, and he pulls Haze down now. Rex with the side headlock on Jack Haze now, but Haze flips himself over and breaks that hold!
Eve: Jack looking to deadlift Rex up now, but Rex takes Haze by the neck and snaps him back down to the mat. Haze quickly grabs Rex’s legs and sweeps them out from underneath him. Rex immediately goes for the arm again, looking to put Haze in an armbar, but the former collegiate wrestler grabs Rex in a headscissors! Rex pushes himself up, and reverses the hold! He has Haze on his stomach now and Rex goes for the legs! He grabs a hold of them and turns this into a surfboard submission hold!
Deadprez: Goddamn, Rex is a goat.
Eve: Who else can say they’re the best pure wrestler in the world AND an actual deathmatch king?!
Eve: Look at Jack Haze though! He’s twisted himself out of that hold and lands on Rex!
Deadprez: NOT EVEN A FULL ONE COUNT!
Eve: Both men return to a vertical base and are circling one another. They seem content to grapple with one another, and after the war Rex went through less than a week ago with Darkane, I’m sure he’s fine with that.
Deadprez: Haze and Rex lock up again and they’re fighting for the superior position now. Haze drops down and grabs for the leg, but Rex clubs him in the back a few times. Haze absorbs those blows, so Rex reaches for the leg as well. Haze quickly reaches for the ropes before he can get taken down, and the referee calls for the break.
Eve: Rex backs off and allows Haze to get back up. Haze lunges for the ankles, and he looks to try and take Rex down again! Rex bends down and locks his arms around Haze’s waist… lifting him up, and slamming him to the mat! Rex covers Haze, but Haze quickly kicks out! Jack Haze rolls away from Rex, which prompts Rex to return to his feet. He motions for Haze to get back up, but once again Haze goes for the ankle! Single leg takedown by Jack Haze! But Rex rolls through, and he somehow gets Haze, rolling him up in a crucify style pin!
Deadprez: KICK OUT BY HAZE!
Eve: Rex immediately goes for the leg and he grabs Haze in this modified toe hold, which forces Haze to grab the ropes again! He didn’t really have a choice in the matter and of course Saint Rex breaks the second the referee tells him too. I love this man.
Deadprez: I hope Raven Roberts isn’t listening to you right now.
Eve: :whoa: I don’t love Rex like that!
Deadprez: Haze returns to his feet, and these two lock up again. Haze forces forces Rex back against the ropes and immediately unleashes a knife edge chop to the chest of Rex McAllister!
Rex McAllister: :usure:
Eve: Haze just shrugs and hits Rex with another one! Rex fires back with a chop of his own! And now it’s Jack Haze! REX WITH A CHOP! JACK RETURNS THE FAVOR! REX! JACK! REX! JACK! REX! JACK! REX! REX! REX! REX! REX JUST CHOPPED JACK DOWN TO THE MAT! JACK IMMEDIATELY GETS BACK UP AND SCREAMS AT REX TO COME AT HIM AND THE TWO-TIME WORLD CHAMPION IS ALL TOO HAPPY TO OBLIGE!
Deadprez: REX AND HAZE COLLIDE AND IT’S REX WHO USES A STRIKE TO THE GUT TO GAIN THE ADVANTAGE ON HAZE! HE FORCES HAZE INTO THE CORNER AND BEGINS STOMPING AWAY ON HIM! HAZE IS IN TROUBLE AND REX UNLEASHES A MASSIVE EUROPEAN STYLE UPPERCUT TO JACK HAZE THAT NEARLY TAKES THE MAN’S HEAD OFF! REX CONTINUES THIS DISPLAY OF OFFENSE WITH ANOTHER MASSIVE CHOP TO THE CHEST! IT’S FOLLOWED UP WITH AN OPEN-HANDED PALM STRIKE TO THE FACE! REX GRABS HAZE BY THE NECK AND CONTINUOUSLY STRIKES HIM WITH THE KNEE NOW! OVER AND OVER REX SLAMS HIS KNEE INTO THE FACE OF JACK HAZE! REX GRABS HAZE AND RUNS HIM TOWARDS THE CENTER OF THE RING! BULLDOG! REX KICKS HAZE OVER ON HIS BACK! STANDING MOONSAULT TO JACK HAZE! REX WITH THE COVER!
Eve: JACK HAZE WITH THE KICK OUT!
Deadprez: REX QUICKLY SNATCHES JACK HAZE BACK UP AND I THINK HE’S LOOKING FOR AN OLYMPIC SLAM RIGHT NOW! BUT HAZE IS ABLE TO FIGHT BACK! HE CATCHES REX WITH AN ELBOW! REX LETS GO AND HAZE FINALLY HAS HIS OPENING! HE NAILS REX WITH A EUROPEAN STYLE UPPERCUT OF HIS OWN! AND HE FOLLOWS IT UP WITH A SERIES OF FOREARM STRIKES TO REX’S FACE! JACK HAZE LOOKS FOR A CLOTHESLINE, BUT REX IS ABLE TO BLOCK IT! REX WITH A HEADBUTT AND THAT MOMENTARILY STUNS JACK HAZE! REX WITH ANOTHER HEADBUTT! BUT HAZE GETS HIS FOOT UP AND KICKS REX IN THE GUT! HAZE DRIVES HIS KNEE INTO REX’S FACE AND HE RUSHES THE ROPES! JACK WITH A SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK AND REX IS TAKEN DOWN! JACK KIPS BACK UP TO HIS FEET AND HE LOOKS DOWN AT REX! JACK WITH A DOUBLE FOOT STOMP TO REX’S CHEST! NOT THE MUSHROOM STOMP, BUT EFFECTIVE NEVERTHELESS! JACK DROPS DOWN AND GOES FOR THE COVER ON REX!
Eve: REX KICKS OUT!
Deadprez: JACK RETURNS TO HIS FEET AND HE PULLS REX UP! JACK WITH AN UPPERCUT TO REX AND HE SLIPS AROUND REX, GRABBING HIM FROM BEHIND! RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! REX’S HEAD NEARLY COLLIDES WITH THE TURNBUCKLES AND JACK IMMEDIATELY GOES FOR HIS OPPONENT! HE BENDS DOWN TO GRAB REX, BUT REX IS ABLE TO GRAB HIM A SMALL PACKAGE!
Eve: ANOTHER KICK OUT! REX PULLS HAZE BACK DOWN TO THE MAT AND HE STARTS DROPPING KNEES TO HAZE’S RIBCAGE! IT SEEMS LIKE REX HAS GOTTEN HIS SECOND WIND IN THIS MATCH AND NOW HE’S ON TOP OF HAZE! REX WITH THOSE CLOSED-FIST PUNCHES TO JACK HAZE’S FACE! REX SWITCHES TO FOREARM SHOTS NOW AND HE IS JUST WEARING DOWN JACK HAZE! I’M NOT EVEN SURE HOW REX IS COMPETING AT THIS LEVEL TONIGHT WHEN DUDE DIED LAST WEEK THANKS TO A SPANISH FLY THROUGH A TABLE BY DARKANE.
Deadprez: Can we pause for a minute and talk about that? Who knew Darkane was capable of such a thing?!
Eve: Sometimes people just dig deep and pull off things that they never thought possible when ego and pride are on the line. Grand Rampage is upon us. Pain for Pride is coming up! ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
Eve: ANYWAYS! BACK TO PRESENT DAY! REX LOOKS FOR THE ARMBAR BUT JACK STARTS KICKING REX, WHICH FORCES REX TO LET GO! JACK JUMPS ON TOP OF REX AND HE STARTS THROWING HANDS! HIS STRIKES CONNECT WITH REX’S FACE AND HEAD! JACK REACHES BACK AND HOOKS BOTH LEGS!
Deadprez: REX SOMEHOW KICKS OUT! JACK WITH A CLUBBING BLOW TO THE SIDE OF REX’S HEAD AND REACHES DOWN, LOOKING TO GRAB REX’S ANKLE! REX REACHES OUT AND GRABS HAZE! HE WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND HIS NECK! THIS IS LIKE SOME KIND OF MODIFIED CROSSFACE CHOKE, OR SOMETHING!
Eve: Is that a real move?!
Deadprez: IT IS TODAY! REX HAS HAZE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE RIGHT NOW AND HE’S WRAPPING HIS LEGS AROUND JACK’S BODY! JACK HAZE IS DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN RIGHT NOW TO TRY AND GET OUT OF THIS BUT IT’S NOT WORKING! HE’S GOING TO HAVE TO TRY AND REACH FOR THE ROPES! HE’S NOT THAT FAR FROM THEM! IF HE CAN JUST REACH OUT WITH HIS FOOT I THINK HE CAN FORCE A BREAK!
Eve: He must have heard you Deadprez because look! Haze is reaching out! His toe brushes the bottom rope and that’s enough for the referee to force Rex to make a break! Rex reluctantly lets go and Jack quickly crawls for the ropes! Haze uses them to pull himself up while Rex returns to his feet on his own! Rex is the first one to strike! He hits Jack with an uppercut! Jack fires back with a lariat! Rex with a stiff right hand! Jack with a sucker punch to Rex’s gut, followed up with a right hand of his own! Rex fires back with a devastating chop to Jack’s chest and he grabs Haze, getting behind him!
Deadprez: GERMAN SUPLEX!
Eve: BUT REX KEEPS IT LOCKED IN! HE ROLLS THROUGH AND PULLS HAZE UP AGAIN! ANOTHER GERMAN! REX IS LOOKING FOR THE TRIFECTA NOW AND HE THROWS HAZE OVER FOR A THIRD GERMAN SUPLEX! REX WITH A BRIDGING PIN NOW!
Deadprez: JACK HAZE KICKS OUT!
Eve: REX DOESN’T LET UP THOUGH! HE IMMEDIATELY GRABS JACK’S LEG AND STARTS SLAMMING HIS FIST INTO IT! OVER AND OVER REX GOES TO WORK ON THAT LEG! HE’S DEFINITELY SOFTENING HAZE UP FOR THE REX LOCK!
Deadprez: REX TAKES A LOOK AT RING POSITIONING AND SEES THAT HE HAS JACK HAZE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
Eve: REX LOCK! REX LOCK! THE STF SUBMISSION IS LOCKED IN!
Deadprez: HAZE HAS ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE TO GO AND HE NEEDS TO REALIZE THAT GRAND RAMPAGE IS NEXT WEEK AND HE’S SHOWDOWN’S BEST BET TO WIN THAT MATCH!
Eve: JACK HAZE IS FIGHTING TO HANG ON BUT REX ISN’T GOING TO LET GO! THIS MAN IS A TWO-TIME WORLD CHAMPION AND ONE OF THE GREATEST WRESTLERS IN THE WORLD! JACK JUST NEEDS TO TAP! SAVE YOURSELF FOR GRAND RAMPAGE JACK!
Deadprez: JACK FINALLY TAPS! IT’S OVER!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE IS YOU WINNER… REX MCALLISTER!!!!
(The crowd goes nuts as Rex’s theme starts to play! The Showdown faithful are clearly happy to see their favorite former Showdown Elitist victorious in his one-night return for the brand.)
Deadprez: I have a feeling Rex is going to be unstoppable come Grand Rampage. His evolution as a professional wrestler and a competitor is one of the most compelling things I have ever seen.
Eve: Rex is special, there’s no doubt about that. But Jack Haze held his own. He has nothing to be ashamed of and a match like Grand Rampage is wide open. Anything can and will happen, and there’s no doubt Haze will give it everything he has next weekend for the blue brand and most importantly, for himself. A championship match at Pain for Pride is the prize on the line, after all.
(Rex celebrates his victory inside the ring while the referee checks on Jack Haze. Showdown fades to commercial break.)
(Camera opens to find Ahren Fournier and Kassidy Heart backstage. Ahren is dressed for his match and placing his fur coat on for his upcoming entrance. Kassidy holds the EAW Championship, placing it over Ahren’s shoulder.)
Kassidy Heart: One match tonight, then two nobodies at Grand Rampage. Eventually these people will have to stop questioning your status as the true GOAT.
Ahren Fournier: It’ll never happen. So long as there is a GOAT there will be people trying to bring him down. It’s a heavy load, but someone has to carry it. My greatness alone placed me here. And it’s my greatness that will keep me ahead of any and all fools who try to bring me down and deny my capabilities.
Kassidy Heart: Well with my iconic cup in hand and your EAW Championship, the dominance of Magnum Opus across this entire company is nothing short of a fact. No matter what any brand or dumbass roster members may try and say about us.
???: Nice to see you here to actually do your job.
(Hurricane Hawk walks up and stands in front of them.)
Ahren Fournier: You mad, bro?
Kassidy Heart: You watch your mouth when speaking to the GOAT.
Hurricane Hawk: Just don’t walk out of the match pretending to be bored.
Ahren Fournier: Its not my fault you’ve either run off or driven to injury every capable challenger Showdown ever had. And what’s the point of forcing the champion to compete against lesser talents. You think people want to see ten second squashes? It wouldn’t be fair and it would only serve to damage my legacy. I mean look at you. Relying on throwing multiple people at me just to try and get the Championship away from me because you can’t handle the fact that I’m already more than you and your Hall of Fame ring have ever been.
Hurricane Hawk: You can look at it however you want. But having the champion here is always for the best. I’m doing my job. You go out there and do yours.
(Hawk storms off as Kassidy and Ahren continue.)
Kassidy Heart: You’d think he’d appreciate a champion of your caliber a bit more.
Ahren Fournier: He’s just got his panties in wadded up because he keeps getting the short end of the stick everywhere else. He’ll get what’s coming to him soon enough. Tonight I just have to focus on putting down Chris Elite for the hundredth time.
(Ahren and Kassidy then walk away towards the curtain. The camera stays set though and begins to zoom towards a back hallway where Jack Haze suddenly appears and grabs a water bottle out of a cooler. He takes it and hold it against the back of his neck trying to relax it after the damage done by the Rex Lock.)
Jack Haze: Can’t believe that fucking happened out there…
???: Yeah. Aren’t you supposed to be some technical wizard?
(Jack turns to find Damon Diesel standing behind him.)
Jack Haze: Don’t question my mat abilities. Rex is one of the best in the company. He caught me in his signature hold and I have to keep myself somewhat preserved for Grand Rampage. I don’t see you out here competing.
Damon Diesel: Because I’m not dumb enough to actually put myself in a match before I go on to the biggest win of my career next week. You on the other hand, you’re dumb enough to take on a two time world champion before a 30 man match?
Jack Haze: You call it dumb. I call it heart.
Damon Diesel: Whatever you call it, it’s stupid. But seeing you back here, already beaten to death… it’s… inspiring…
Jack Haze: Wha—
(Damon knees Jack in the gut before hitting a gutwrench suplex. He grabs Jack by the hair and pulls him in. Damon places Jack’s head between his legs and lifts him up for a sit out piledriver on the concrete floor. Jack lays unconscious as Damon stands and smiles at what he’s done.)
Damon Diesel: Why wouldn’t I try to knock some competition down when I have the chance?
(Damon walks off as a nearby medic rushes over to check on Jack.)
(Commercial for Grand Rampage.)
(Camera opens to Gina Romano inside the ring.)
Gina Romano: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is our main event of the evening and is scheduled for…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!
(“Odee” by A Boogie hits as Chris Elite makes his entrance followed by Big Mike.)
Gina Romano: Introducing first, making his way for he ring from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 210 pounds… he is Gawd Given Greatness… CHRRIIIISSS EEEEEELLLIIIITTTTEEEEE!!!!
(Camera shows a brief pan to the commentary desk where Eve and Deadprez are both seated with TLA and Malcolm Jones on either end, both wearing headsets.)
Eve: And we are joined for tonight’s match also by Malcolm Jones and TLA, the King of Elite and Openweight Champion respectively! Gentlemen, I have to say it’s a pleasure to have you both down here. Chris Elite is looking very focused here tonight. What do you think we will see here in this matchup?
TLA: I fought plenty of times with Chris Elite. He’s hungry. He wants it. But he gotta get past Ahren for the first time though.
Malcolm Jones: Please. What you about to see is two dudes fighting over who gets to lose to me at Grand Rampage.
Deadprez: I like the confidence, King. But I do gotta say, Chris has turned it on tonight from the looks of it. This match should be something to see.
(Chris climbs up and into the ring as “Starboi” by The Weeknd replaces “Odee” as Ahren Fournier and Kassidy Heart walk out wearing matching fur coats. Ahren has the EAW Championship over his shoulder.)
Gina Romano: And his opponent, making his way to the ring from Pawtucket, Rhode Island, weighing in at 210 pounds… he is the EAW Champion… THE GOAT! AHREN FOURNIER!!
TLA: La Cabra been dodging his shit around here lately but he couldn’t fight that Gawd Contract power. He best be ready to go tonight. I’m ready to see it here because TLA gonna do that homework and be ready for Grand Rampage.
Eve: Well he doesn’t look like he’s lacking any confidence here tonight. We’ll have to see what he’s got in store for Chris Elite.
(Ahren climbs into the ring and removes the championship from his shoulder, holding it high for Chris Elite to see before throwing a smirk at the two competitors at commentary.)
Deadprez: Confidence will probably never be lacking from that man.
Malcolm Jones: Let him be confident. His clock is ticking.
(Chris steps up and gets in Ahren’s face but the referee separates them before calling for the bell.)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Eve: Here we go as Chris Elite and Ahren Fournier quickly lock up, Ahren pushing Chris to the ropes…clean break, AHREN PUNCHING ELITE IN THE FACE, AND THE ACTION STARTS! BOTH MEN ARE GOING BACK AND FORTH AS THE REF IS TRYING TO SPLIT THEM APART AGAIN! Elite irish whipping Ahren into the corner, Elite with a clothesline, Ahren moving out of the way but Elite turns around…BELLY TO BELLY BY AHREN! Ahren with the early pin attempt.
Deadprez: Kick out by Chris Elite, as Ahren attempts to assert early dominance by now locking in a headlock- NO! Elite pushing away, kip-up by Elite as Ahren gets up, ROUNDHOUSE KICK BY ELITE! Ahren is still up, a little bit dazed tho, Elite with a punch, another, shoot kick, back fist…LARIAT- NO AHREN DUCKS UNDER, Ahren with a KNEE, and a…NECKBREAKER! Chris Elite roughly falling down as Ahren goes up to the top, he lingers for a second- NO CHRIS JUMPS UP TO JOIN AHREN AT THE TOP! BROOKLYN HIGH OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE, SPANISH FLY! ELITE WITH THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: Close kick out by Ahren as both men are trying to make a statement with their moves here in the early goings of this match. Both men are getting up to a knee, CHRIS PUSHING AHREN DOWN, HE’S LANDING PUNCH AFTER PUNCH ON HIM! Chris hopping off Ahren, he’s running to the ropes, jumping over Ahren…PEOPLE’S MOONSAULT- AHREN WITH THE KNEES UP! Elite falls but Ahren bringing Elite up, he’s grabbing the fingers of Elite…KICK TO THE GUT BY CHRIS ELITE, AXE KICK! Ahren standing straight up, BELLY TO BELLY BY CHRIS ELITE TO FOURNIER! Elite rolling up, he’s up to the top rope, Ahren Fournier grabbing him by the foot trying to pull him off, but Chris kicks him away, CROSSBODY! Chris rolling over Ahren…STANDING MOONSAULT! Elite getting up on his feet, but Ahren pulls himself up by the ropes and stands in defiance. They’re circling each other again. Chris Elite shuffling forward…PUNCH! Ahren returns with a punch, Elite turning around and running the ropes, but Ahren follows…KNEE TO THE GUT OF ELITE. Chris Elite falls to the ground as Ahren slides out of the ring, he looks obviously stressed as he walks around in circles… KICK TO THE FACE OF AHREN FOURNIER! AHREN IS DOWN! Now Elite looking for another, STANDING MOONSAULT- NO AHREN MOVES OUT OF THE WAY, Elite clutching his gut as he lands on the mat, Ahren up to the middle turnbuckle…DOUBLE FOOT STOMP!
Malcolm Jones: Ahren looking real cocky right now. Gonna be his downfall. I’ve taken Chris Elite’s best shot. Gotta stay on your game.
Deadprez: Ahren really thinks Chris Elite is a easy challenger, he’s just trying to get this over with so he can leave. Ahren now stalking Chris, he’s lurking in the corner as Elite gets up, he’s running…lariat- NO ELITE DUCKS, AHREN TURNS AROUND- HEAD SHOT BY CHRIS ELITE, PELE KICK CONNECTS! Ahren falling to the opposite corner as Elite runs to the other corner…Ahren getting up, 44 BULLDOG, MISSILE DROPKICK! Elite wasting no time pushing Ahren back into the corner, FOREARM! AGAIN! AGAIN! CHRIS ELITE WITH RAPID FOREARMS TO THE FACE OF AHREN AS THE REF COUNTS! 10 FOREARMS, ELITE PUSHES AHREN AWAY AS HE RUNS TOWARDS HIM AGAIN…LEAPING CLOTHESLINE! BUT AHREN DUCKS OUT OF THE WAY AND SNATCHES ELITE OUT OF THE CORNER! SNAP SUPLEX! AHREN HOOKS THE LEGS!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: KICKOUT! Ahren to his feet and Chris getting up again, CHRIS WRAPS HIS LEG AROUND AHRENS AND BRINGS HIM DOWN! Now Elite, he’s …NO! AHREN GRABBING THE LEG, HE’S PULLED ELITE TO THE GROUND…ANKLE LOCK! ELITE IS CRAWLING OVER TO THE ROPES AS FAST AS HE CAN, Ahren letting go, HE’S GRABBING THE LEG AND SWEEPS IT, HE ROLLS TO HIS FEET AND HE’S DRAGGING ELITE TO THE CENTER OF THE RING! BUT ELITE ROLLS THROUGH AND GETS UP ON HIS FREE FOOT…MULE KICK BY CHRIS ELITE! Ahren leaning against the ropes as Elite now lays into him with punches! Shot after shot connecting! OH! But now Ahren ducks a shot and shoves Chris into the ropes and rolls him up from behind!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: KICKOUT! Fournier up…STOMPS ON THE FACE OF ELITE, Fournier in the corner again…KNEE DROP TO CHRIS ELITE! Fournier grabbing his fingers now, OW! HE’S BENDING THEM IN ALL DIFFERENT ANGLES, TAKES ONE AND YANKS IT… GET FUCKED! THE FINGER BREAK! YOU COULD HEAR THE SNAP FROM HERE!
TLA: AYE! Mis dedos!
Malcolm Jones: That’s some cheap shit.
Deadprez: Its effective though. Chris Elite is clutching his hand in pain and Ahren isn’t letting up! STAR STRUCK! Elite tried to get up to a kneeling position and Ahren just superkicked him directly in the jaw! Ahren now lining up! Elite is dazed from the kick and looking to try and get up! I don’t think he knows where he is! STORYBOOK ENDING!
Eve: But Elite had enough about him to slide out of the way! Ahren stumbles off the missed curb stomp! He turns around… BOX OFFICE SMASH! Elite got all of it as he connects with the super kick! Ahren drops to the mat and Elite scrambled for the pin… Oh but Ahren rolling out of the ring! Instinct being shown by the champion as Kassidy Heart is now here to help Ahren regroup. BUT CHRIS ELITE IVER THE TOP ROPE WITH A CORKSCREW PLANCHA TAKES THEM BOTH OUT!
Malcolm Jones: And there’s Big Mike cheering his boyfriend on.
Deadprez: A major move by Chris Elite now as he gets to his feet but the referee is demanding them back into the ring! He starts the count!
Eve: Chris grabbing Ahren by the head now and pulling him up, shoving Kassidy to the side as he does so! He takes Ahren and runs him… AHREN GOES FACE FIRST OFF OF THE RING POST!
TLA: Oooh. Yeah he bleedin now.
Deadprez: Ahren’s nose is busted now and blood running down his face! Elite looking to roll Ahren back in—
Kassidy Heart (off mic): What in the fuck do you think you’re doing?!? How dare you lay a hand on me!
Eve: AHREN FOURNIER FROM BEHIND! A FOREARM TO THE BACK OF ELITE’S HEAD AND NOW DRIVING HIM SKULL FIRST INTO THE EDGE OF THE BARRICADE!
Malcolm Jones: Can’t trust a bitch like that.
TLA: She got the potential to be the queen poon one day though.
Deadprez: Now Ahren bashing hammerfists into Elite’s back! Hammering over and over, you can see the swelling already setting in now and Ahren is getting blood from his nose all over Chris! This is a disgusting mess!
Deadprez: Ahren needs to take this fight back into the ring! But first now he’s grabbing Elite and getting him into a front facelock and— DDT! Just planted him headfirst onto the floor around us! He grabs Elite by the arm and drags him back up to standing!
Eve: Ahren rolling Elite back into the ring and…
Malcolm Jones: I know he not aiming that at me.
Eve: Ahren rolls Elite back into the ring and flips double bird’s at his future opponents at the commentary desk.
Ahren Fournier (off mic): Watch close! You two are next!
Deadprez: Ahren now sliding back into the ring as he looks to continue the assault on Chris Elite! Chris is barely to his knees as Ahren watches him through a bloody face! Elite stands! Ahren takes off! PROTECT YA NECK! THE CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!!
Eve: NOOO! ELITE DUCKS IT! AHREN TURNS AROUND! BOX OFFICE SMASH! THE SECOND SUPERKICK CONNECTS! AHREN DROPS AND ELITE DIVES ON TOP OF HIM! HE HOOKS BOTH LEGS DEEP!!
Eve: KASSIDY HEART TRYING TO PULL THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!
Deadprez: BUT BIG MIKE GRABS HER FROM BEHIND!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Gina Romano: Your winner by pinfall…. CHRISSSS EEEELLIIITTEEEEE!!!!!
Eve: HE DID IT! CHRIS ELITE PULLS OFF THE WIN AND IS HEADED TO THE GRAND RAMPAGE AS THIS MATCH BECOMES A FATAL FOUR WAY!
(Chris is seen celebrating inside the ring as Kassidy slaps Big Mike across the face before checking on Ahren from the ring apron. Shuffling noises are heard from the commentary desk as Malcolm and TLA leave their seats to get into the ring and stand face to face with Elite.)
Deadprez: All three challengers to Ahren’s championship stand inside the ring now having a stare down! Any one of these men has the potential to become World Champion next week if they can overcome the GOAT!
Eve: All three of them look incredibly confident as none of them are giving an inch and… MJ KICKS ELITE IN THE GUT AND GRABS TLA BY THE HEAD! HE THROWS TLA SHOULDER FIRST THROUGH THE TURNBUCKLES AND INTO THE RING POST! HE TURNS BACK AND— BOX OFFICE SMASH! CHRIS ELITE CONNECTS WITH MALCOLM’S JAW! MJ DROPS TO THE MAT AS CHRIS ELITE STANDS TALL IN THIS SHINING MOMENT!
Deadprez: BUT AHREN ATTACKS HIM FROM BEHIND WITH THE CHAMPIONSHIP! THE EAW CHAMPIONSHIP RIGHT TO THE BACK OF CHRIS ELITE’S HEAD! TLA IS BACK UP! HES NOW TRADING BLOWS WITH AHREN! SHOT AFTER SHOT THEY TRADE! TLA KNOCKS AHREN BACK!
Eve: BUT KASSIDY HEART SLIDES IN THE RING AND LOW BLOWS TLA FROM BEHIND! TLA DROPS TO THE MAT! HES ON HIS KNEES AND— STORYBOOK ENDING! AHREN WITH THE CURB STOMP TO TLA! AHREN NOW SLIDING OUT OF THE RING WITH HIS CHAMPIONSHIP AS KASSIDY HEART FOLLOWS!
Ahren Fournier (off mic): THIS IS MY TITLE! NONE OF YOU ARE WORTHY OF IT! NONE OF YOU! I AM THE GOAT! NO ONE IS TAKING MY TITLE FROM ME!
Deadprez: Ahren is making his exit as we now have a fatal four way of massive proportions for the EAW Championship at Grand Rampage!
Eve: Chris Elite versus TLA versus Malcolm Jones versus Ahren Fournier! This could be the match of the year! And could we see one of our own here from Showdown win the Grand Rampage match itself? Who will get the big win and move on to the main event of Pain for Pride? Will these men survive the war and even make it to Pain for Pride? You’ll have to tune in to find out! That’s all we have time for here! Thank you for tuning in to another exciting edition of Saturday Night Showdown!
(Ahren makes his way up the ramp, keeping one eye on the three men now making it to their feet in the ring. He clutches the championship to his chest the whole way up.)
(EAW Network Logo Buzzes.)