(EAW intro plays.)
(“DNA” by Kendrick Lamar begins to play throughout the speakers of the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York as the crowd riles themself up for a jam-packed episode of Saturday Night Showdown! The camera pans over the crowd in the arena, bursting at the seems to get the chance to see some of their favorite Elitists in the flesh. The camera eventually finds the commentary table where Gavin and Deadprez stand at the ready to welcome the EAW Universe watching from home.)
Gavin Kirkland: Welcome everybody to Saturday Night Showdown! I’m the Voice of Empire, Gavin Kirkland alongside Deadprez–
Deadprez: Fresh off Midsummer Massacre, tonight, we’ve got an incredible series of matches scheduled for you including a mind-blowing main event: The Answers World Champion taking on Lance Blackfyre! :feedme:
Gavin Kirkland: We’re kicking tonight off with Carlos Cruz taking on Io Ishimori in a one-on-one contest–starting now! Take it away, Gina!
(“I’m a Jesus Freak” by CJAY hits and Carlos Cruz comes from the gorilla position and makes his way to the ring slapping hands with some fans along the way seeming fired up. The New York crowd shows some extra love for the Bronx native here tonight, but not too much because he’s not from Brooklyn and we all know the Bronx is trash, amiright?)
Gina Romano: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SET FOR ONE FALL!! INTRODUCING FIRST….FROM THE BRONX, NEW YORK……WEIGHING IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY SEVEN POUNDS….”THE JESUS FREAK”…..CCCAARRLLOOSSS CCRRUUZZZZ!!!!
Deadprez: A guy who hasn’t had the best of starts losing his last couple of matches. But tonight is a new night and a win is a whole new beginning for this man. He has all the talent in the world to do so. Also Gavin, I said it before and I’ll say it again, you could learn a LOT from him.
Gavin Kirkland: The guy’s a loser. What could I possibly learn from him?!
(“Confident (Nightcore Version)” by Demi Lovato hits as Io Ishimori comes out to a mixed reaction as she makes her way to the ring looking at the surrounding around her)
Deadprez: Another person looking for a rebound win. She didn’t get the job done in the Ultimate Opportunity match and has a chance to get momentum going for herself tonight with a win. This should be a great match!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Deadprez: We’re underway here as they both lock up in the middle of the ring and Io transitions to the backside of Carlos and Carlos pushes his body forward and tries to break the hands free of Io and he does just that but only for a second as he turns around and runs right into a clothesline from Io! But Carlos is back to his feet right away and Io is kicking him in the midsection as Carlos is stumbling into the corner and when Carlos is in the corner Io goes for the irish whip but Carlos reverses it and he charges at Io in the opposite corner but Io sidesteps it and Carlos crashes and burns and now Io tries to roll up Carlos from behind but Carlos rolls through it and looks for a kick to the head but Io ducks it and kicks Carlos in his back causing Carlos to fall forward through the middle rope and now Io is back up to her feet and goes for a suicide dive!! BUT CARLOS CATCHES HER!! AND CARLOS SLAMS HER HEAD FIRST INTO THE BARRICADE!!
Gavin Kirkland: :damn: And now Carlos has something in mind here and he picks up Io and drags her over by the steps and slams her head face first off the steps!! Io is taking a lot of damage to her head here! And now Carlos rolls Io back in the ring while he goes up top….THE MOONSAULT FROM THE TOP ROPE!!! BUT IO GOT HER KNEES UP!! IO NOW TRANSITIONS INTO A PIN!!
Deadprez: CARLOS ESCAPES IT!! Carlos almost got caught there and Io is back to her feet still holding her head and now she goes for the reverse frankensteiner…AND IT CONNECTS!! BUT CARLOS IS BEING SMART AND HE ROLLS OUT OF THE RING AND IO DIDN’T STOP HIM IN TIME!! Io now looks down at Carlos on the outside floor from the bottom rope and she now rises to her feet and she is desperately waiting for Carlos to get to his feet on the outside and Carlos is beginning to stir and he is finally up and Io now with full steam runs to the ropes and FLIES OVER THE TOP ROPE LEAPING ONTO CARLOS!!! IO CAN FEEL IT AS SHE TRIES TO PUMP UP THE CROWD!!
Deadprez: Io picks up Carlos and throws him in the ring and now she climbs up the apron and waits for Carlos to get to his feet again and now she leaps on the top rope for a springboard…..BUT CARLOS THROWS HIMSELF ON THE ROPE CAUSING IO TO LOSE HER BALANCE AND FALL TO THE MAT!! CARLOS MAY HAVE JUST SAVED HIMSELF RIGHT THERE! CARLOS NOW CAN SENSE VICTORY AS IO IS ON ONE KNEE…..THE SUPER KICK FROM CARLOS!! CARLOS GOES FOR THE COVER!!
Gavin Kirkland: AND IO GETS THE SHOULDER UP! AND NOW CARLOS GOES FOR PLAN B AND HE STRAIGHT AWAY GOES UP TO THE TOP ROPE AND GOES FOR WHAT HE LIKES TO CALL THE CELESTIAL DIVE WHICH IS THE FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH….BUT IO POPS UP AND RUNS UP TO THE TOP WITH CARLOS! BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPE AND BOTH COMPETITORS CRASH AND BURN!! BUT THEY’RE BOTH UP RATHER QUICKLY HERE AND IO NOW RIGHT AWAY GRABS CARLOS’S ARM AND DROPS TO THE MAT!!! KIMURA LOCK!! CARLOS IS SQUIRMING TRYING FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS HERE!!!
Deadprez: THERE MAY BE NO ESCAPE! CARLOS MAY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SUBMIT HERE!! BUT CARLOS THROWS ONE LARGE PUNCH RIGHT TO IO’S FACE!! IO LETS GO!! THAT HAD TO BE FROM PURE DESPERATION FROM CARLOS! AND CARLOS CRAWLS AWAY AND BOTH COMPETITORS SIT IN OPPOSITE CORNERS OF EACH OTHER NOW STARING A HOLE THROUGH THE OTHER! AND NOW BOTH COMPETITORS ARE UP TO THEIR FEET AND MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE CENTER OF THE RING!!
Gavin Kirkland: It looks like Carlos is looking to make the first move, he charges straight after Io Ishimori, looking for a clothesline–NO! IO DUCKS! SHE GETS BEHIND HIM, GRABS A HOLD OF HIS SHOULDER–SHE’S SETTING HIM UP AS SHE JUMPS UP–YES! THERE IT IS, BLACK LOTUS FROM THE QUEEN OF GOTHS! CARLOS IS PLANTED FLAT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING, AND IO SCRAMBLES FOR THE COVER!
Referee: OOOONE! TWWWWOOOO! THREEEEEEEE!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“Confident” begins to pick back up as the referee grabs Yoshi San from the timekeeper’s area. He goes to bring Io the plush cat, but she snatches Yoshi away from him and pushes the referee away from her, back into the ropes. She stands on a top turnbuckle and begins to celebrate.)
Gina Romano: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…IIIOOOOOO ISSSHHHIIIIIIMMOOOOORRRRRRIIIII!
Gavin Kirkland: I wish more than anything that Io would throw that stupid, ugly cat away. For fuck’s sake…
Deadprez: The cat had absolutely nothing to do with the outcome of this match, and that’s what you’re focusing on? :dahell:
Gavin Kirkland: Look, it’s…it’s a long story…but back on Empire–nevermind, forget it. Congrats, Io. :mjpls:
(As “Confident” continues to play, Carlos Cruz is seen walking back up the ramp, disappointment plain on his face as he failed to pick up a win in front of the New York City crowd he was hoping to impress tonight.)
(Our camera feed fades backstage where Jenny Punk is seated at her desk, typing away on her computer. As she reaches for a sip of her coffee, she receives an irritated knock on her office door. She cocks her head to one side, as she wasn’t expecting any visitors just yet this early in the evening.)
Jenny Punk: Come in.
(The camera turns from Jenny and focuses on the doorway, where Harlow Reichert now stands. Harlow closes the door behind her as the crowd in the arena cheers for her. She greets Jenny with a forced smile and approaches the desk, her coupon in hand.)
Harlow Reichert: I’m here to uh…“redeem” my coupon.
(Harlow offers Jenny the coupon, and she takes it. Harlow crosses her arms over her chest and Jenny smiles.)
Jenny Punk: Well, it took you a week, but I’m glad to see you’re finally coming around! It makes me incredibly happy to see that you’re taking your career seriously, Harlow, and accepting this lunch offer with the Vice President is a step in the right dir–
Harlow Reichert: It’s less about networking opportunities and making connections, and way, way more about letting him know straight up that this consolation prize of a lunch isn’t going to cut it.
Jenny Punk: I wish you’d look at it as much more than just a “lunch”, Harlow.
Harlow Reichert: Something tells me that HRDO knew very little about this match at Midsummer Massacre, or the prize that you were offering alongside it. But that’s none of my business and frankly, I don’t really care. And you’re right, though. It is more than a lunch. I’m going to convince him that I’m not a joke despite what you think, and that I’m deserving of so much more of what you’re offering me right now. I mean, jeez, Amber Keys so much has had to sneeze and you gave her a New Breed opportunity that she flopped. Ryan Wilson only needed to flap his gums on the mic and received a PURE title shot–a match that he lost. Meanwhile, I had to outwrestle and outlast seven other Elitists in one go and I’m forced to settle for free lunch. (Harlow scoffs.) I’m naturally suited for much more and I’ll be damned if I let YOU hold me back from breaking out this year.
Jenny Punk: So, what, are you going to, like, tattle to the VP about your displeasure with the GM?
Harlow Reichert: (Harlow shrugs.) I considered that, but I’m not the type to act out of pettiness or want to cost you your job or anything. But just know that I’m going to do what I have to do to make sure that I’m taken seriously around here, and that means legitimate consideration for a title opportunity. New Breed, PURE, Specialists, Interwire, National Elite, Universal Women’s, Answer’s, you name it. Now, if you don’t mind…I’ve been trying to cash in my coupon, Jenny. Schedule our lunch for next week.
(Harlow watches as Jenny picks up her office phone and dials for the Vice President of EAW. They lock eyes as the phone rings, Harlow refusing to leave until she is certain she hears the voice of HRDO on the other end of the phone line. As Jenny and HRDO’s conversation progresses, Harlow sees it fit to exit the GM’s office, a self-assured smile on her face, the excitement of potentially securing a title opportunity by next week seeping through. Showdown fades to commercial as Harlow skips off.)
(Commercial break including an add for Uh-Oh Oreos featuring Showdown’s very own, The Visual Prophet.)
(“Addiction” by Dope beings to play through the speakers. A moment passes before we see Mammoth come out from the back. The crowd gives him a fair reaction as he looks around his surroundings.)
Gina Romano: THE FOLLOWING MATCH IS A TAG TEAM MATCH AND IT’S SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL—
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
Gina Romano: Introducing first…from Toronto, Ontario, Canada…weighing in 276 pounds…he is “The Beast”…MAAAAMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Deadprez: Mammoth has not been on a role these past few weeks. At Midsummer Massacre, he was the second man eliminated from the eight person elimination match for the special opportunity! He is going into this match with not much momentum, but he could turn his luck around tonight!
Gavin Kirkland: He has a skilled tag team partner! He’s got a mean Gore, but I feel like their opponents are stronger, but Viktor Stone is going to be someone to be on a look out for in this match!
(“Hey Man Nice Shot” by Filter replaces “Addiction” as Viktor Stone comes out in the most confident way possible. He has some mixed reactions from the crowd as he takes in the scenery in this arena.)
Gina Romano: Introducing his partner…from Las Vegas, Nevada…weighing in 225 pounds…he is “The King of Suplexes” … VIIIIIKKKKKKTOOOOORRRRRRR STTTOOOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: Viktor Stone managed to make it to the final four during that same eight person elimination match. He managed to eliminate Shaker Jones from the match. All it took was a blindsided attack from Io Ishimori to take him out of the match! But, he ended up surprising a few people.
Deadprez: I feel like he could have a bright future on Showdown! Not many people knew who he was, but there were people just wondering to know all about him after Midsummer Massacre! This match could be another opportunity for him to shine and prove that he can be amazing!
(“War” by Dance With The Dead replaces “Hey Man Nice Shot” as Santo Muerte comes out with a serious and intimidating look on his face. He is delivering a death glare to his opponents in the ring.)
Gina Romano: Introducing their opponents…first…from Death Valley, California…weighing in 200 pounds… he is “The Saint of Death”…SAAAANNNNNNNNNTOOOOOOOOOOO MUUUEEERRRRRTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Deadprez: Speaking of another man who was part of that elimination match, I was surprised to see Santo Muerte not get as far as I thought he would have! I thought he would have been a huge favorite in the match, but he left an impression of the match! He was eliminated by the eventual winner Harlow Reichert, but he looked solid as well!
Gavin Kirkland: Besides Lance Blackfyre, Santo Muerte was one of the more intimidating men in the match! I would have loved to see him go far, but I would hope he uses those thoughts and motivates him to make sure that he doesn’t make that mistake again!
(“My Way” by Limp Bizkit replaces “War” as the crowd instantly boos at the presence of Ryan Wilson. Ryan seems to have a chip on his shoulder after his PURE Championship match did not go the way he wanted it too, but he is looking to redeem himself with a victory tonight.)
Gina Romano: Introducing his partner…from Montreal, Quebec, Canada…weighing in 212 pounds…he is “The Agent of Chaos”…RYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WILLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: Here is one of the most hardworking men on the blue brand! Ryan Wilson’s goal to win the PURE Championship at Midsummer Massacre did not pan out the way he wanted too. For most people, that would discourage them, but Ryan is trying to stay as motivated as possible. There is no doubt that victory stung, but he is still planning to pursue the title!
Deadprez: Ryan Wilson’s determination to become PURE Champion is seen! There is no denying that he is able to get the job done, but he just needs to do more in order to claim that victory! Right now, here is gong to be in the ring with some of Showdown’s rising talent! If he manages to stand above them, then it could put him in the right direction for championship contention again!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Gavin Kirkland: This match is underway! It seems like Ryan Wilson is more than okay with Santo Muerte starting this match for their team. It seems like Viktor Stone is going to start the match for his team. The two competitors meet each other in the middle of the ring. We saw a bit of that confidence from Viktor at Midsummer Massacre. Despite not winning, he made some sort of impression in the match! I would hope that it carries onto this match!
Deadprez: It seems like he is, Gavin! Viktor Stone shoves Santo Muerte! He gets The Saint of Death to go back a bit! Viktor continues to provoke Santo into hitting him back! Personally, I don’t see this being the smartest decision to make. But, Viktor is out here to prove that he is the best on this brand! That he is the one to look out for! Santo Muerte just holds onto his glare at Viktor! He’s not moving as he continues to hold onto that glare! Viktor begins to trash talk to Santo! He is trying to get Santo to hit him back and hit him with his best shot!
Gavin Kirkland: SANTO MUERTE RUSHES TOWARDS VIKTOR STONE WITH AN UPPERCUT! THE UPPERCUT STAGGERS THE FELLOW NEWCOMER TO THE ROPES! VIKTOR REBOUNDS HIMSELF OFF THE HORIZONTAL ROPES, BUT SANTO MANAGES TO STOP HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE! VIKTOR SPINS AROUND LIKE A TOP AS HE FALLS INTO A SEATED POSITION! Santo does not stop there before connecting with a penalty kick that takes down Viktor! Santo gets Viktor to his feet before rebounding him towards the ropes, but Viktor counters that rebound! Santo bounce off the ropes as Viktor goes right after Santo with a kick to the midsection! HE FOLLOWS THAT UP WITH KNEE THRUST TO THE HEAD — THE VIOLENT PARTY — NO! SANTO MANAGES TO CATCH VIKTOR’S KNEE BEFORE HE COULD CONNECT IT TO SANTO’S HEAD! Santo pushes Viktor away before kicking him in the stomach before connecting with a vertical suplex! Viktor goes down as Santo follows that up with a giant elbow drop to Viktor’s chest! Santo tries to go for the cover there, but Viktor manages to roll himself out of the way for the pin fall attempt! SANTO MANAGES TO GET VIKTOR CLOSER TO HIM BEFORE CONNECTING WITH SOME ELBOW SHOTS TO THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD! SANTO GETS VIKTOR’S LEFT ARM AND EXTENDS IT BACK! IT SEEMS LIKE SANTO IS TRYING TO GET THE FUJIWARA ARMBAR ON VIKTOR! VIKTOR IS QUICKLY SQUIRMING TO THE BOTTOM ROPE AS HE GETS HIS FOOT ON IT!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE!
Deadprez: Santo Muerte releases the fujiwara armbar! It seems like he has found a target in Viktor Stone’s left arm! Perhaps, he’s softening it up for The Offering! Santo releases the hold after some hesitation! I don’t think that he wants to get his team disqualified here, but it seems like we’re not going to have that problem here! Viktor is clutching onto his left arm as Santo gets himself and Viktor back to their feet! Santo connects with a side-handed chop to the chest of Viktor! Viktor uses his good arm to deliver a harder sounding side-handed chop to Santo’s chest! BUT, SANTO DELIVERS ANOTHER ONE BACK! VIKTOR WITH ANOTHER ONE AS WELL! SANTO CONNECTS WITH A HARSH CHOP AGAIN FOLLOWING THAT UP BY A DANGEROUS KNEE TO VIKTOR’S RIBS! DEATH VALLEY DESTROYER ON VIKTOR STONE! SANTO LOOKING TO END THIS MATCH RIGHT NOW!
Gavin Kirkland: Viktor Stone gets himself out of the move! What a fantastic looking front flip piledriver from Santo Muerte, but Viktor is not planning to go down so easily! Santo is the first one up as he gets Viktor by his right arm! He walks over to the turnbuckle before stepping on it! It seems like he’s looking to tightrope walk, Deadprez!
Deadprez: He still has good hold of Viktor’s arm before following that up with a springboard armdrag! Viktor goes flying across the ring! He tries to get himself up, but it seen clutching that left arm of his! Santo goes right after “The Technical Messiah” with a slingblade as that takes him down! Santo follows that up with a superkick as that takes Viktor down to his knees! Santo rebounds himself off the ropes to follow that up with a knee strike as that takes Viktor down to his back! Santo seems to find himself on the rope! He manages to take down a vulnerable Viktor at the moment!
Gavin Kirkland: A tag into the match by Ryan Wilson! Santo Muerte turns himself around instantly as Ryan gets inside the ring! I don’t think he expected that to happen, but we’re not seeing Santo Muerte attacking Ryan. We’re only seeing him glare at his partner! Ryan shoos Santo and tells him to get back to their corner! Well, Ryan is the legal person in this match, so he rushes towards Viktor as he looks like he is going to go for a cover there!
Deadprez: Viktor Stone kicks out! It seems like Ryan Wilson is going to do anything that he needs to do to get the victory over here! He gets back to his feet as he begins to stomp on Viktor’s stomach! Ryan maintains his boot on Viktor’s stomach as he seems to be in perfect position for a count! Viktor manages to lift his shoulders off the ground! He gets his hands on Ryan’s ankle and is doing everything in his power to get it off of him! Ryan breaks out of Viktor’s grasp and delivers one last kick to his face! Ryan gets Viktor back to a vertical base as he whips him to the corner! Viktor holds onto the corner as Ryan goes right after him! Ryan with a yakuza kick to a cornered Viktor Stone! That makes Viktor goes forward all wobbly as RYAN GETS HIMSELF ON THE TOP ROPE! RYAN IS STANDING ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE AS HE’S YELLING FOR VIKTOR STONE TO TURN HIMSELF AROUND — TORNADO DDT OF DEATH! BOTH MEN GO CRASHING DOWN! RYAN IS STALKING VIKTOR UP TO HIS FEET, BUT RYAN CONNECTS WITH A CALF KICK THAT TAKES VIKTOR DOWN TO HIS KNEES! RYAN REBOUNDS HIMSELF OFF THE HORIZONTAL ROPES BEFORE CONNECTING WITH A SWINGING NECKBREAKER! VIKTOR IS TAKING DOWN AS HE IS CLUTCHING ONTO THE BACK OF HIS NECK!
Gavin Kirkland: The best thing for Viktor Stone to do is to tag in Mammoth into the match! Sure, his winning streak hasn’t been the best in the past couple weeks, but he is the fresher competitor! Viktor is trying to get himself back to his feet, but Ryan runs towards him to connect with a dropkick to the back of Viktor’s head! At the same time, he manages to push Viktor closer to the corner with Mammoth!
Deadprez: Mammoth inserts himself into the match and it seems like Ryan Wilson wants no part of him at all! Ryan manages to back himself and duck the upper part of his body through the ropes! Ryan is telling the official to back Mammoth away from him! This could be one of his mind games tactics, but I’m not sure if angering Mammoth is the best way to approach this match! As the official manages to back Mammoth away from Ryan, Ryan sticks his head back into the ring! The official steps aside, leaving these two Elitists to battle it out! The two competitors lock up, but Ryan wraps his arms around Mammoth’s waist, but Mammoth manages to get Ryan into a headlock! Mammoth with the side headlock, but Ryan manages to get himself out it and rebound from the ropes! MAMMOTH TIRES TO GO FOR A CLOTHESLINE THERE, BUT MESSES! RYAN REBOUNDS FROM THE OTHER SET OF ROPES, BUT MAMMOTH GETS A GOOD HOLD OF RYAN BEFORE CONNECTING WITH A SCOOP SLAM! RYAN IS CRINGING IN PAIN AT THE RESPONSE TO THAT SCOOP SLAM, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE MAMMOTH’S WORK IS JUST GETTING STARTED!
Gavin Kirkland: Mammoth gets back to his feet with ease! He gets a grasp of Ryan Wilson by his arm before whipping him towards the horizontal ropes! Mammoth bends himself forward, but Ryan manages to roll himself on the back of Mammoth! Mammoth turns himself around as Ryan rebounds from that other set of ropes! However, Mammoth tackles Ryan down with a shoulder block! Ryan drops down as that seems like that should be a decent start with shifting this match for his team’s favor! Mammoth gets Ryan Wilson up in position before throwing him to the corner with a turnbuckle powerbomb! Ryan drops down, but he still has some balance to stumble forward! Mammoth follows that up with a bulldog! Ryan gets planted face first against the canvas! Mammoth goes for the cover there!
Deadprez: Ryan Wilson kicks out at two! This kid is too stubborn to keep down! You may love him or hate him, but there’s no denying that he puts in the work in every single match that he has! Sometimes, you can see the self-centered attitude just rubs people the wrong way! Mammoth gets Ryan to his feet before pushing him towards the ropes —
Gavin Kirkland: It seems like Santo Muerte was able to tag Ryan Wilson on the shoulder when he was being pushed against the ropes, but I don’t think Ryan has any idea that it happened! Ryan rebounds from the ropes as Mammoth gets Ryan in position before connecting with a belly-to-belly suplex!
Deadprez: With that distraction, Santo Muerte connects with a superkick that knocks Mammoth to his back! If Ryan doesn’t know if Santo got the tag there, he does now! With Mammoth up to his feet, Santo connects with a standing dropkick that staggers Mammoth back a bit! Mammoth runs towards Santo and connects with a clothesline, but Santo manage to duck the clothesline before connecting with a calf kick that takes Mammoth down a bit! Santo follows that up with a snap dragon suplex as that takes Mammoth down! But before Mammoth can get completely back to his feet, Santo connects with a straight dropkick that gets Mammoth through the middle ropes and out of the ring!
Gavin Kirkland: Santo Muerte rolls himself out of the ring in order to meet Mammoth! Santo gets Mammoth to his feet —
Ryan Wilson (off-mic): GET OUT OF THE WAY! I GOT THIS!
Deadprez: RYAN WILSON LAUNCHES HIMSELF THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPE WITH A SUICIDE DIVE AND CRASHES ONTO SANTO MUERTE AND MAMMOTH TO THE OUTSIDE! IT DOESN’T SEEM TO HURT RYAN TOO MUCH AS HE MANAGES TO MAKE HIMSELF BACK TO HIS FEET! RYAN IS BRUSHING OFF HIS SHOULDER, ALMOST MAKING IT SEEM LIKE IT REQUIRED NO EFFORT TO BRING MAMMOTH DOWN!
Gavin Kirkland: Viktor Stone from the top turnbuckle as he flies from it — CROSSBODY ONTO RYAN WILSON! ALL FOUR ELITISTS ARE DOWN AS THE CROWD IS ON THEIR FEET APPLAUDING THEM! IT SEEMS LIKE THE OFFICIAL IS GOING TO BEGIN HIS COUNT AS ALL FOUR MEN ARE STRUGGLING TO GET TO THEIR FEET! VIKTOR IS THE FIRST ONE TO GET BACK UP TO HIS FEET AS MANAGES TO GET RYAN BACK TO HIS FEET! VIKTOR GETS RYAN ON THE APRON! VIKTOR GETS ON THE APRON HIMSELF AND IT SEEMS LIKE HE IS GOING TO GET RYAN IN POSITION FOR IT’ A R.A.P. — RING APRON BRAINBUSTER! I can’t recall if Viktor connected with this move on Shaker Jones at Midsummer Massacre, but it seems like he is going to try it again with Ryan Wilson! Ryan is refusing for himself to get in position for the move! Ryan manages to deliver a good back kick to Viktor’s stomach! Ryan is going to counter with his own move! Ryan has Viktor in position for the Mic Drop! The small package piledriver on the apron!
Deadprez: NO! VIKTOR STONE MANAGES TO CONNECT WITH A BACK BODY DROP AS RYAN FALLS INTO A SEATED POSITION — VIKTOR GETS RYAN IN POSITION —
Gavin Kirkland IT’ A R.A.P. ON RYAN WILSON! BOTH MEN DROP DOWN RINGSIDE! BUT OF COURSE, RYAN ATE THE MOVE! IT SEEMS LIKE HE’S DOWN FOR THE TIME BEING! MEANWHILE, VIKTOR GOES OVER TO MAMMOTH AND BEGINS TO WEAKEN DOWN SANTO MUERTE! VIKTOR BEGINS TO STOMP ON SANTO’S BACK AND IT SEEMS LIKE VIKTOR HAS SANTO IN POSITION FOR THE WHY SO SERIOUS? SURFBOARD CURB STOMP ON SANTO MUERTE! SANTO’S HEAD GOES CRASHING AGAINST THE PAVEMENT RINGSIDE! Mammoth sees that it was good enough as he rolls Santo back ringside! Ryan Wilson is completely useless at the moment as he just at a ring apron brainbuster moment ago! Mammoth gets Santo before battery ramming him into their corner!
Deadprez: Viktor Stone is tagged into the match! Him and Mammoth do a double whip as Santo Muerte goes crashing onto the other corner! Viktor runs towards Santo with a running yakuza kick to the corner! Santo falls into a seated position before Viktor follows up that yakuza kick with a vicious knee strike to Santo’s face! Viktor gets Santo up by his arm before connecting with a series of short armed clotheslines! Viktor is continuing on trying to weak down Santo! Ryan Wilson is still out of the equation, trying to recover from what Viktor Stone did to him! But, how much time can the guy get?
Gavin Kirkland: It may be a pretty smart strategy for Ryan Wilson so far, but if he keeps it up long enough, it may cost his team the victory! Viktor manages to get Santo Muerte in position before connecting with The Violent Party — kick to the midsection followed by a knee to the head! Santo goes down as Viktor goes for the cover there!
Deadprez: Santo Muerte gets a shoulder up at the two count! Viktor Stone manages to get Santo in a chinlock as he is using that as a way to restrain him! Santo finds himself trapped in the middle of the ring! He can’t muster up enough energy to get back to his feet! Viktor continues to wrench in the chinlock and inflict as much pressure is possible! Viktor keeps that chinlock, but gets Santo in a surfboard stretch! Viktor is keeping that up as Santo is having a difficult time finding a way out of this move! The longer that Santo is in this hold, the bigger the possibility that he could end up having! It could be a deciding factor in the match! Viktor manages to get himself up to his feet as he applies a full nelson on Santo Muerte!
Gavin Kirkland: But, Santo Muerte manages to get Viktor Stone and flip him in front of him! Santo takes a couple steps back before rebounding himself off of the ropes and connect with a dropkick to Viktor’s back! Santo gets in front of Viktor before connecting with superkick that takes him down! Santo follows that up with a leg drop on Viktor’s neck! Santo gets himself up and knocks Mammoth off the apron! But, it doesn’t seem like his punch on Mammoth did any affect on him! Ryan Wilson is still ringside as he really doesn’t seem to be in a rush to get inside the ring! Ryan is in a seated position with his back resting against the barricade! He’s just watching this match! He sees that Santo is dealing with the number’s game quite well? Why would Ryan do anything to mess it up? SANTO GETS VIKTOR IN POSITION BEFORE RUNNING TOWARDS VIKTOR AND CONNECTING WITH THE CYCLE —SOMERSAULT DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON VIKTOR STONE! SANTO STAYS THERE FOR THE COVER! THIS COULD BE ALL OVER, DEADPREZ!
Deadprez: VIKTOR STONE GETS HIMSELF OUT OF THE PIN FALL ATTEMPT! BUT, IT DOESN’T SEEM TO PHASE SANTO MUERTE AT ALL AS HE GETS VIKTOR TO A VERTICAL BASE AGAIN! SANTO HAS VIKTOR IN POSITION — DEATH NOTE! THE PUMP HANDLE HALF NELSON DRIVER ON VIKTOR! SANTO PLANTS THE NEWCOMER FOR THE COVER!
OOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THR—
Gavin Kirkland: MAMMOTH STEPS INTO THE RING TO BREAK UP THE COUNT! RYAN WILSON SHOULD BE COMING INTO THE RING AND PUTTING A STOP TO MAMMOTH, BUT RYAN STILL HASN’T MOVED AN INCH! HE IS STILL WATCHING THIS MATCH GOING ON! MAMMOTH GETS VIKTOR STONE AND MOVES HIM CLOSER TO THEIR CORNER!
Deadprez: MAMMOTH TAGS HIMSELF INTO THE MATCH! SANTO GOES RIGHT AFTER MAMMOTH! MAMMOTH GETS SANTO MUERTE AND CONNECTS WITH A SPINEBUSTER! THAT TAKES DOWN THE SAINT OF DEATH! MAMMOTH IS TRYING TO GET HIMSELF HYPED UP BEFORE GETTING SANTO IN POSITION BEFORE CONNECTING WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX! MAMMOTH MANAGES TO MAINTAIN HOLD OF THE WAIST BEFORE CONNECTING WITH SECOND GERMAN SUPLEX! JUST LIKE THE LAST ONE, HE MAINTAINS HOLD OF SANTO’S WAIST BEFORE GOING FOR A THIRD GERMAN SUPLEX! THIS TIME HE RELEASES HOLD OF THE WAIST! SANTO MUERTE IS TAKEN DOWN AS MAMMOTH SEEMS LIKE HE IS LOOKING TO END THIS MATCH RIGHT NOW! WHAT IN THE HELL? LOOK FROM THE TOP ROPE, GAVIN!
Gavin Kirkland: Ryan Wilson from the top turnbuckle as he jumps from the top rope — superman punch onto Mammoth!
Deadprez: Not quite, Gavin! Mammoth manages to connect with a huge big boot to Ryan Wilson as he was making his way down! If that doesn’t take Ryan out of the equation for the rest of the match, I’m not sure what is! Mammoth turns his focus onto Santo Muerte!
Gavin Kirkland: SANTO MUERTE MANAGES TO GET TO HIS FEET AND CONNECT WITH A CALF KICK THAT TAKES MAMMOTH DOWN TO HIS KNEES! HE’S GOING FOR THE OFFERING! HE HAS MAMMOTH IN A GROUNDED HEADLOCK BEFORE GETTING IN POSITION FOR THAT INVERTED ARMBREAKER! THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE PRETTY, DEADPREZ! SANTO KEEPS THE ANTICIPATION UP BEFORE BENDING MAMMOTH’S RIGHT ARM BACK —
Deadprez: Ryan Wilson just tagged himself into the match! He just ate a nasty big boot from Mammoth about a couple moments earlier! The fact that Ryan is still in this match! Santo Muerte is looking at Ryan. He is almost giving Ryan the look of :”you just fucked up”, but he doesn’t have much time to respond to it! Viktor Stone makes his way into the ring before connecting with a slingblade and takes him out of the ring! SANTO REBOUNDS FROM THE ROPES AND CONNECTS WITH A TOPE CON HILO TO THE OUTSIDE! SANTO CRASHES ONTO VIKTOR IN THAT COLLISION! MEANWHILE, RYAN IS LEFT LOOKING AT THE MESS THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN SANTO AND VIKTOR! MAMMOTH IS SLOWLY GETTING BACK TO HIS FEET, BUT I DON’T THINK THAT RYAN SEEMS TO REALIZE THAT! RYAN TURNS HIMSELF AROUND —
Gavin Kirkland: THE GORE FROM MAMMOTH ONTO RYAN WILSON!
Deadprez: NO! RYAN WILSON MANAGES TO COUNTER WITH THE CHAOS THEORY — THE JUMPING CUTTER ON MAMMOTH AS HE GOES FOR THE COVER!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“My Way” plays through the speakers once again as Ryan Wilson gets up to his feet in victory. He needed to pick up this victory due to things not going the way that he wanted to at Midsummer Massacre.)
Gina Romano: THE WINNERS OF THIS MATCH…THE TEAM OF SANTO MUERTE AND RYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN WIIILLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: Ryan Wilson managed to pick up his team the victory! I am surprised to see this team standing tall. I thought these two were going to implode after these two kept tagging each other whenever not needed!
Deadprez: Viktor Stone and Mammoth put up a good fight. In a way, it seemed like they were the better team, so I’m a little shocked to see them on the losing side of things. Ryan had an interesting strategy going into this match. He made sure to save up all of his energy and use it towards the end of the match. There’s no need to put his all into this match. This isn’t really a fight that he should be so invested in winning.
Gavin Kirkland: It was an interesting approach for Ryan. It may come useful in tag team matches, but he showed that he’s only focused one himself and his well-being. But, it will be interesting to see where he goes following his loss. The same thing with these three other competitors!
Deadprez: WHAT IN THE HELL?
(The camera pans to Mammoth being pulled out of the ring by Santo Muerte who was still outside of the ring after taking out Viktor Stone. Meanwhile, Ryan Wilson is in the ring as he quickly exits out. He got the victory and has no desire in being in the middle of this mess.)
Gavin Kirkland: Mammoth was just pulled out of the ring thanks to Santo Muerte! Santo gets Mammoth back to his feet before throwing him to the barricade! Mammoth’s body crashes to it! But, Santo seems like he is just getting things started! Santo goes over to the timekeeper’s area and he pulls out a steel chair! MAMMOTH IS ON ALL FOURS AS HE’S TRYING TO CRAWL AWAY FROM SANTO, BUT SANTO SWINGS AND CONNECTS THAT STEEL CHAIR ONTO HIS BACK! MAMMOTH DROPS DOWN IN RESPONSE OF THAT, BUT THAT IS NOT GOING TO STOP SANTO FROM CONTINUING HIS ATTACK! SANTO SWINGS THE STEEL CHAIR AT MAMMOTH AGAIN! SANTO GETS THE STEEL CHAIR AND CRASHES THE EDGE OF IT TO THE BACK OF MAMMOTH’S NECK! HE DRIVING THAT EDGE AGAINST HIS NECK! MAMMOTH IS IN SERIOUS TROUBLE AT THE MOMENT!
Deadprez: Santo Muerte drops the steel chair before getting Mammoth and throwing him straight to the steel steps! Mammoth’s entire weight goes crashing onto those steel steps! Santo rushes forward towards Mammoth before kneeing him against the skull! MAMMOTH GOES TUMBLING FORWARD BEFORE SANTO GETS THE BEAST BY HIS HEAD AND SLAMS HIS HEAD AGAINST THE APRON! HE DOES SO REPEATEDLY! HE IS SLAMMING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE APRON IN THE HARSHEST WAY POSSIBLE AS HE SEEMS LIKE HE’S POSSESSED! THERE IS NOTHING STOPPING HIS MADNESS! MAMMOTH DROPS DOWN BY SANTO GETS A GOOD GRASP ON HIS HEAD BEFORE THROWING HIM TO THE RING POST! HIS HEAD GOES BOUNCING BACK! YOU CAN SEE THE BLOOD BEGINNING TO DROP FROM HIS FACE! SANTO BEGINS TO MOUNT AWAY ON MAMMOTH WITH A SERIES OF PUNCHES! THIS IS ONLY CAUSING THE BLOOD TO INCREASE AND FALL DOWN IN A MORE RAPID SPEED!
Gavin Kirkland: This is not looking good for Mammoth at all, but Santo Muerte is not stopping! He gets that steel chair once again and places his arm through it! He has the steel chair open! I think everyone knows what he is going to do after! I don’t think I can see this happening!
Deadprez: SANTO MUERTE STOMPS ON THE STEEL CHAIR! IN THE PROCESS, HE CRUSHES MAMMOTH’S RIGHT ARM! THE BEAST GIVES OUT THE BIGGEST YELL OF PAIN I HAVE EVER SEEN. SANTO IS NOT DONE HERE, GAVIN! HE TAKES THE STEEL CHAIR OFF MAMMOTH’S ARM BEFORE DRAGGING HIM TOWARDS RINGSIDE! HE GOES FOR THAT GROUNDED HAMMERLOCK AS HE HAS A GOOD HOLD OF MAMMOTH’S ARM! IT SEEMS LIKE HE’S GOING FOR THE OFFERING!
Gavin Kirkland: SANTO MUERTE PULLS THE ARM BACK AS MAMMOTH YELLS OUT ONCE AGAIN! I THINK SANTO MAY HAVE BROKEN MAMMOTH’S ARM! THE OFFICIALS ARE RUSHING TOWARDS MAMMOTH! IT SEEMS LIKE WE’RE GETTING SOME MEDICAL PERSONALLY COMING OUT HERE!
(The medical personnel kneel down to check on Mammoth. Meanwhile, some officials are telling Santo Muerte to leave the scene. Santo looks at each official for a moment before making his way up the ramp.)
Deadprez: It seems like he broke Mammoth’s arm with The Offering. Santo Muerte doesn’t seem like he feels bad about the entire thing. The whole crowd is speechless at the moment. I don’t even know what to say.
Gavin Kirkland: Don’t look at me, I got nothing. :lupe:
Deadprez: We’ll be right back after this commercial break–and after we clean up this goddamn ring.
(Commercial break — an advertisement for Spotify’s “Hot Boy Summer” playlist, featuring EAW Elitists Charlie Marr & Malcolm Jones.)
(Showdown returns from commercial break and opens up to Gina Romano in the center of the ring with a microphone at the ready.)
Gina Romano: Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the titantron for an exclusive look at one of EAW’s most captivating medical miracles!
(The feed cuts to black momentarily, and opens back up to a recap of the match between the Visual Prophet and Chris “Detective SKabler” Elite at Midsummer Massacre.)
(SCREEN BAR – MIDSUMMER MASSACRE 2019, JULY 27, 2019)
(The video package includes a number of EAW exclusive images and clips from the ending of match, accompanied by the commentary team voice-over.)
“Gavin Kirkland: :damn: :damn: :damn: THE VISUAL PROPHET KICKS! OUT! HOW THE FUCK IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?! YOU’VE SEEN WHAT A RIIICCCKKKKYYY CAN DO TO PEOPLE, PREZ! THE AMOUNT OF FIGHT WE’RE SEEING IN VIZ RIGHT NOW IS UNBELIEVABLE!
Deadprez: OH NO, THE BVU–THEY’RE GRABBING SOMETHING–IS THAT–NO! A RED CANISTER OF–
Gavin Kirkland: GASOLINE!!!! :lupe:
Deadprez: AND DETECTIVE TY IS POURING THAT GASOLINE ALL OVER THE JEEP! OVER THE ENGINE, ON EVERY TIRE, INSIDE THE PASSENGER SEAT! This doesn’t look good, Gavin, I can only imagine what they’re planning to do here–
Gavin Kirkland: DETECTIVE TY JUST PULLED A LIGHTER FROM OUT OF HIS POCKET! :damn:
Deadprez: :damn: OH MY GOD! IS HE DOING WHAT I THINK HE–YES! HE IS! TY JUST THROUGH THE LIGHTER ONTO THE JEEP THAT WAS COVERED IN GASOLINE–THE JEEP IS ON FIRE! I REPEAT, THE JEEP IS ON FIRE! AND DETECTIVE TY, KNOWING WHAT’S ABOUT TO COME–HE’S RUNNING AWAY! HE’S MAKING A RUN FOR IT! THE REFEREE NEEDS TO STOP THIS ONE BEFORE SOMEONE GETS THEIR EYEBROWS CHARRED OFF–OR WORSE! Those flames have completely engulfed the Jeep, INCLUDING the engine! And Chris Elite and Visual Prophet are barely back up to their feet for this one–
Gavin Kirkland: Chris Elite goes straight after Viz, but he has to be careful now of those flames! Chris grabs a hold of Vizzy’s neck, and plants him with a quick kick to the midsection! Chris, his back to the Jeep now, tries to push Viz away from him, he’s trying to get further and further away from that Jeep, which is smart–I think he’s looking for a Box Office Smash, a superkick should get the job done–
Deadprez: KISS TO THE HEAD! KISS TO THE HEAD! VISUAL PROPHET OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE WITH THE RUNNING ELBOW TO CHRIS ELITE! AND CHRIS ELITE FALLS STRAIGHT ONTO THE ENGINE OF THE JEEP, BACK IS DEFINITELY SINGED! FUCK! I CAN FEEL THAT HEAT FROM HERE AS CHRIS IS ELITE GETS LIT ON FIRE! VIZ REALLY PULLED THAT OUT OF NOWHERE, HE POTENTIALLY KILLED THIS MAN, AND–OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! :damn: :damn: :damn:
Gavin Kirkland: :damn: THE JEEP BLEW UP! I REPEAT, THE JEEP HAS BLOWN UP! VISUAL PROPHET AND THE REFEREE ARE THROWN BACK BY THE IMPACT OF THAT EXPLOSION OF EPIC PROPORTIONS! :damn: CHRIS ELITE WAS ON THE ENGINE! THE ENGINE OF THAT CAR JUST EXPLODED, BURST INTO FLAMES, AND CHRIS ELITE WAS RIGHT ON TOP OF IT! OH MY GOD! HIS BODY WAS THROWN INTO THE AIR AND DOWN ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR, BARELY TWO FEET AWAY FROM THE FIERY JEEP! CHRIS ELITE’S LIFELESS BODY IS OPEN FOR THE COVER BY VIZ, AND HE RUNS STRAIGHT TOWARDS HIM! THE REF GOES FOR THE COUNT–
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)”
(Fade to black.)
(SCREENBAR – HOSPITAL AT THE UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA, JULY 27, 2019)
(The sound of a beeping heart rate monitor plays over several short clips of Chris Elite laying in the back of an ambulance; EMTs and various world-class UPenn medical professionals rushing him to the burn unit of the hospital; Big Mike in distress while tears are rolling down his face as he looks onward at his charred and unconscious friend through the window of the burn unit; Chris Elite being wrapped in bandages as a UPenn doctor provides his commentary.)
Doctor: The burns, blisters–this is unlike anything I’ve ever seen in a burn victim before. There was a point where we all believed that we might not be able to save him, or salvage any skin at all. However, thanks to the power vested in Chris Elite’s Gawd Contract, we were able to perform procedures and approve surgeries that our University hospital budget alone wouldn’t be able to afford. We were able to remove most of the necrotic tissue here at our burn unit, but our resources are far too slim. Luckily, we got as much work done here in Philadelphia before we transferred Chris Elite back to New York City to complete his surgery.
(SCREENBAR – NEW YORK PRESBYTERIAN MEDICAL CENTER, JULY 31, 2019)
Plastic Surgeon: As controversial as this procedure was, we were authorized the use of embryonic stem cells that were genetically modified to increase their growth rate, allowing Mr. Elite to heal much faster, more efficiently, and experience a lot less scarring. He didn’t need to have any skin grafts or transplants whatsoever thanks to the use of stem cells. Thankfully, by the grace of god and biomedical sciences, our plan to grow Chris Elite’s skin back, from head to toe, was finally coming to fruition. This is a historic moment for medical history.
(The video package continues and we get a few fast clips of the inside of a surgical room; the operating table; an anesthesiologist; Chris Elite being rolled on a gurney to his surgery; lab technicians, nurses, and doctors collecting as many blood bags and stem cells they can carry to bring to the room.)
Doctor: It was a long surgery–but we did it. We brought in doctors from all over the world–Canada, Great Britain, Brazil, Germany, Australia, Switzerland–all who specialize in plastic surgery, stem-cell research, burns, you name it. It was unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, all of these medical professionals coming together to save one man. Thanks to all of this, thanks to UPenn, Cornell University, and of course, EAW and the Gawd Contract and all of the resources we managed to muster up because of the amount of people that fear this binding contract Chris Elite carries–we saved his life. And he’ll be out of here in no time. I believe he might even be able to go home today, and better than he was before he came in.
(The video package ends abruptly and the screen goes black. We cut back to the arena, where the lights have gone out. Fans in the crowd begin to hold up their cell phones, murmuring amongst themselves as they wait for what might happen next.)
(“Odee” by A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie begins to play, and the Brooklyn crowd absolutely explodes not only for the sweet musical soundings of the New York native, but for Chris Elite who stands proudly at the top of the ramp.)
Gavin Kirkland: FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
Deadprez: CAN IT BE?!?!?!
Gavin Kirkland: IT’S CHRIS ELITE! CHRIS ELITE IS HERE! HE’S ALIVE! HE DIDN’T DIE! :blessed: A TRUE MEDICAL MIRACLE!
Deadprez: I’m at a loss for words, Gavin. He really is a walking miracle. Chris survived something that no one ever should. The Gawd Contract’s power is literally limitless. They basically brought this man back to life, in less than a week–I almost couldn’t believe what I was seeing when I caught a glimpse of his promo videos, but the evidence is all there! That contract saved his goddamn life, can’t nobody tell him nothing.
(Chris Elite finally begins to walk down the ramp, the BVU not too far behind him. The group is not at all interested in issuing a single citation at this moment, as the crowd is far too lit and Chris Elite is far too turnt to give a fuck about anything besides celebrating with his hometown crowd.)
(As “Odee” continues to play, Chris Elite finally pulls away from the raucous Brooklyn crowd and finds his way to the center of the ring. Detective Ty grabs a microphone and hands it to Chris who begins to sing and rap along with last chorus of his theme song until the very end. When the music dies down, the crowd still continues to cheer, barely giving Chris Elite an opportunity to speak. When given an opening, he shouts into the microphone–)
Chris Elite: GLLLLLLLLLLLLLTTTTT!
(The crowd loses what little is left of their minds.)
Chris Elite: Brooklyn, I love you. I’m so blessed to be here and I’m so thankful to be able to rub my medical miracle in the face of all the dickeaters and haters that tried to tell me I wasn’t gonna make it out alive. Yeah, iight. Tried to tell me that ‘cause I got burned to a crisp that I must be finna retire, that there isn’t any way I can come back from this. Bunch of ignorant bozos who all forgot that I have a contract worth more than their life in my back pocket. :mjlol: Thought a lil bit of fire was gonna hold me back?! Nah, b. Thanks to the power of that contract, I’m back and I’m better than I ever was before. Even after getting blown up and taking an L, I’m still always gonna be one of the biggest draws this company has ever seen. Shit, I should fake my death more often, you wouldn’t believe the increase we saw in Chris Elite and BVU merchandise that night alone. You can’t tell me shit. Now, thanks to the hard work of all them foreign doctors and all that, I’m brand new. I feel rejuvenated. Like I’m an entirely different person. A whole new energy radiating from me, I feel invincible. Like nobody can fucking stop me. I got far too much energy, and I’m gonna use it to my advantage for the rest of this season, just watch me, B. By any means necessary, I’m gonna continue to stay on top of this brand, of this company, for the rest of eternity. I don’t give a fuck how many of y’all wanna continue to disrespect me, talk down on me, not take me seriously–let this be a lesson and a warning to all of you. Just try and get in my way. Just try and stop my momentum. No matter what you do, you can set me on fire all over again, I don’t give a fuck, I’ll show up on any and everybody. Come get you some. GLLLLLLLLTTTT!
(Chris Elite lazily drops the mic and grabs a bottle of Hennesey from Big Mike as “Odee” begins to play once again. The crowd cheers for the BVU as they dance in the middle of the ring.)
Gavin Kirkland: :noah: Why do I have to commentate?! Why can’t I ever turn up with the BVU?!
Deadprez: :rolling_eyes: I’m happy for Chris, I really am. Glad he was able to come back and say some strong words as he just did–and in front of his hometown crowd at that! Time will only tell what’s in store for Chris Elite for the remainder of the season, and my expectations are certainly very high.
Gavin Kirkland: Quick. Cut to commercial, and maybe I can sneak away for a sip or two and still make it back in time to call the next match. :mjlit:
(Commercial break featuring a promotional video for the Bodega Bhronicles docu-series. New episodes available now on the EAW Network!)
(Showdown returns from commercial break where “Hell on Heels” by the Pistol Annies hits as Kensington comes out from the gorilla position.)
Gina Romano: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SET FOR ONE FALL!! INTRODUCING FIRST….FROM SAVANNAH, GEORGIA…WEIGHING IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE POUNDS….MAKING HER SHOWDOWN DEBUT….”THE STEEL MAGNOLIA”…..KKKEEENNNSSSINNNGGGTTTOOOONNNNN CCCAALLLHHHOOOUUUNNN-AAASSSTTOORRR!!!!
Deadprez: This woman is making her debut tonight and can’t wait to see what she brings. She’s here to class up EAW from what she’s been saying and by the way she dresses.
Gavin Kirkland: :noah:
(“Jenny From The Block (Track Masters Remix)” by Jennifer Lopez, Jadakiss, and Styles P. blares the speakers as Jenny Cien walks out onto the stage with her baseball bat in hand to a mixed reaction from the crowd)
Gina Romano: AND HER OPPONENT…..WEIGHING IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE POUNDS….FROM PPPHHHILLLLLADDDEELLPPHHHHIIAAAAA, PPPEENNNSSYYYLLLVVAANNNIIIAAAA……”THE BADDIE”….JJJJEEENNNNYYYY CCCIIEEENNNN!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: Ohhhh one of my queens is here! :blessed: My beautiful nubian empanada goddess!
Deadprez: :skip: Well she’s coming off a great win against Carlos last weekend at Midsummer Massacre and she looks to keep her momentum rolling her tonight.
Gavin Kirkland: I’d roll with her. :mjlit:
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Deadprez: And this one is underway here! Both woman now exchange looks at one another before locking up in the center of the ring. Both women now struggling for position here but Kensington has Jenny in a side headlock and Jenny tried to run Kensington off her but Kensigton doens’t let go of the hold as she slides on one knee and tightens the hold on Jenny’s head! Jenny now slowly getting back to both feet and lifts Kensington up and his the back suplex! And now Jenny hops on top of Kensington here and is throwing several rights and lefts at Kensington and Kensington is just trying her best to cover up here as the referee tries to create some separation here.
Gavin Kirkland: Damn that was hot! And now Jenny is finally up to her feet and she sees Kensington is on all fours and she runs to the ropes and hits a dropkick to the side of Kensington’s face and Kensington now rolls to the apron underneath the bottom rope! Jenny now making her way to the rope as she grabs Kensington’s head from the outside but Kensington grabs Jenny’s head with both hands and Kensington drops from the ring apron to the outside floor causing Jenny to springboard off the rope to the center of the ring! Kensington seems proud as she now rolls back in the ring slowly waiting for Jenny to rise to her feet and Kensington goes for a kick to the face but Jenny ducks underneath it and charges at Kensington but Kensington catches her in a belly to belly suplex!! Kensingotn makes the cover!
Deadprez: That’s no enough and I think Kensington knows that as she picks up Jenny and now places Jenny on her shoulders…what’s she planning here?! But Jenny is fighting it as she throws a elbow to the face of Kensington and Jenny reverses it into a DDT! Kensington is trying to roll out of the ring to avoid being pinned but Jenny stops her and throws a hard right to Kensington’s face! And now Jenny picks up the body of Kensington and places her in the corner and places her on the top turnbuckle and Jenny goes up with her trying to set up something but OH GOD!! Jenny is holding her eye and I think Kensington got a way with an eye poke the referee was out of position to see and now Kensingotn throws a hard headbutt into the skull of Jenny!! And Jenny crashes into the mat!! And now Kensington sits alone on the top rope and she’s looking at Jenny laying down on the mat and she now takes a step down to the second rope and….HEART OF DIXIE!! THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS DRIVING HER KNEE RIGHT TO THE HEART OF JENNY!! THE COVER!!
Deadprez: NO!! JENNY GETS THE SHOULDER UP THE LAST SECOND!! Kensington looks a bit annoyed here but she can’t let that distract her as she’s gotta keep on the attack. She does just that as she stands up and drives a foot stomp into the chest of Jenny!! And now she grabs Jenny by the head and picks her up quickly but Jenny slaps Kensington’s hands away and throws a hard elbow to the face of Kensington causing Kensington to stumble a few steps back and now Kensington walks into a hurricanrana from Jenny and Jenny lands on top and covers Kensington!!
Gavin Kirkland: BUT KENSINGTON REVERSES IT INTO A PIN OF HER OWN BUT JENNY KICKS HER IN THE FACE AND KENSINGTON LETS GO!! AND NOW KENSINGTON IS TO ONE KNEE AND JENNY CIEN HITS A KICK RIGHT TO THE BACK OF KENSINGTON’S HEAD!! KENSINGTON IS STUNNED AND JENNY LIFTS HER TO HER FEET BUT KENSINGTON SHAKES OFF THE COBWEBS QUITE QUICKLY AND HITS THE LEGSWEEP ON JENNY AND DRIVES A ELBOW RIGHT AWAY INTO THE CHEST OF JENNY!!
Deadprez: KENSINGTON NOW IS UP TO HER FEET AND RUNS TO THE ROPES AND LOOKS TO HIT ANOTHER ELBOW–BUT JENNY MOVES AND NOBODY IS HOME!! BOTH WOMEN ARE DOWN NOW AND BOTH WOMEN ARE TRYING TO STIR TO THEIR FEET AND BOTH ARE ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE RING PULLING THEMSELVES UP WITH THE ROPES AND BOTH WOMEN CHARGE AT EACH OTHER–KENSINGTON WITH THE SOUTHERN SWAG SHOT TO JENNY CIEN!
Gavin Kirkland: :lupe: My beautifully little tostone just took that left hook straight to the jaw–and she’s completely dazed! Kensington now heading to the top rope, and Jenny doesn’t see it coming–THE SOUTH STAR! SOUTH STAR! PHOENIX DRAGONRANA FROM KENSINGTON TO JENNY, STRAIGHT INTO THE ROLL UP! SHOULDERS ARE DOWN!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“Hell on Heels” begins to play throughout the Barclays center speakers. The referee goes to raise her hand, but she pulls away quickly, in disgust. She pulls a wet-wipe from the inside of her ring gear and quickly wipes her hands of the referee’s touch.)
Gina Romano: Here is your winner …KKKEEENNNSSSINNNGGGTTTOOOONNNNN CCCAALLLHHHOOOUUUNNN-AAASSSTTOORRR!!!!
Deadprez: An impressive debut from the Southern belle. :dame: Crowd doesn’t seem to love the ending of that one, though.
Gavin Kirkland: :noah: My lil coquito lost. FUCK! Maybe next week, Jenny, bby.
(Commercial break featuring a PRxPR ad. Donate now to contribute to Puerto Rican relief efforts and rebuilding homes affected by Hurricane Maria.)
(“Young and Bitter” by Hot Tag Media Lucas Johnson walks down to the ring wearing his Beats by DRE headphones that was given to him by his manager Albert Hitchman as he blasts music with an intense look on his face. When Lucas reaches the ring apron his manager Hitchman gives him one last prep talk as he gives the middle finger to his doubters as he enters his yard.)
Gina Romano: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST, already in the ring, accompanied by his manager, ALBERT HITCHMAN! He hails from Atlanta, Georgia. Weighing in at 205 lbs., he is the “THE WRESTLING MACHINE” LUCAS JOHNSON!!
(The crowd boo, some cheer)
DeadPrez: This young man showed what he was all about against Lethal Consequences at the Midsummer Massacre and now he is facing one half of the Mechanical Animals, David Gibson who had a hell of a show too playa.
Gavin Kirkland: Of course, he did, he kissed Minerva and she actually made out with that lucky bastard! I have been hard on Minerva and Constance Blevins, but amongst this sausage fest, I have learned to appreciate those two ladies! Back to Lucas, he did show what he was made of and skies the limit for him.
(The lights dim as “Firing Squad” by No Name Tim and Kashis Keyz plays throughout the arena. Sabin Richards and David Gibson walk out accompanied by their manager, Joseph Gracons. They start making their way toward the ring.)
Gina Romano: And his opponent, hailing from The Netherlands, weighing at a total combined weight of 463 pounds. Accompanied to the ring by his manager, Joseph Garcons and partner Sabin Richards! One Half of the Mechanical Animals… DAVID GIBSON!
(Both men stand in the middle of the ring and raise their arms up in the air. Garcons is proud to show them off as the crowd boos.)
Deadprez: The Mechanical Animals almost won the Unified Tag Team Titles from Heavenly Hell at the Midsummer Massacre and there was a lot more going on but David Gibson wants to make a statement and Lucas wants to continue to prove why he is a Young Lion in the Showdown brand.
Gavin Kirkland: Two hunky dudes wrestling each other, gotta love those big sweaty men! Actually I hate it. Have I told you how much I miss Empire lately?
Deadprez: More than you know.
(The referee checks both wrestlers. Albert Hitchman is in Lucas corner, Gracons and Richards in Gibson’s corner. The referee calls for the bell to start the match….)
DING! DING! DING!
Gavin Kirkland: Looks like both men are circling the ring, they quickly tie up, you have some beef in there, I can’t believe I am saying this. Looks like Gibson has the advantage, pushing Lucas to the ropes. Is there going to be a clean break? NO! Gibson starts peppering Lucas with some rights and lefts!
Deadprez: Gibson isn’t working by the hour! He is trying to beat him down hard! Wait… Lucas is fighting back! Lucas is punching and swinging at anything that moves! OHHH! A HARD RIGHT! IT STIFLED GIBSON! HE FOLLOWS WITH A HUGE CLOTHESLINE! Taking the Mechanical Animal down!
Gavin Kirkland: These two are fighting, forget about wrestling! Lucas is picking up Gibson by the hair, he Irish Whips him into the corner turnbuckle and follows through with a BACK ELBOW to the jaw and A BULLDOG! Is he trying to end it right here!?
(Lucas drops for the pinfall on Gibson)
Deadprez: GIBSON KICKS OUT! Gracons is already screaming at David to get his shit together, Albert and gracons seem to be eyeing each other, they are starting to yell all kinds of shot at themselves!
Gavin Kirkland: We all knew this was going to blow up into something! All these people outside at ringside, there was no way that this wouldn’t turn into something more and the referee better keep his eye out for it. Now if it were a bunch of ladies? Then CATFIGHT!
Deadprez: I hear ya playa but Gibson pushed out of that pin and Lucas is trying to take control again, he has Gibson up, a couple of well-placed forearms are stunning Gibson back to the ropes, Lucas hooks him into a BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! GIBSON LANDED ON HIS HEAD! HE COULD BE OUT!
Gavin Kirkland: THEY WASTED NO TIME! THIS MATCH COULD BE OVER ALREADY! LUCAS WITH A STANDING MOONSAULT FOR THE COVER!
Gavin Kirkland: GIBSON GETS THE SHOULDER UP! Lucas is not relenting though! He wants to take this match and get back to his winning ways! HE’S STOMPING GIBSON! OVER AND OVER!
Deadprez: A MUDHOLE ON HIS ASS! REFEREE STOP THIS!
(Referee pushes back Lucas to a chorus of boos by the fans. Albert Hitchman jumps on the apron to argue with the referee but Gracons hops on the other side and both men have a staredown.)
Deadprez: Both men are staring each other down! You know this is going to boil over like a pot of neck bones! Lucas needs to pay attention to his opponent and right now he sees the confrontation, here comes Gibson who has recovered, Lucas turn around!
Gavin Kirkland: MACHINE GUN CHOP! MACHINE GUN CHOP! INTO A CRAZY RUSH! GIBSON UNLOADING WITH EVERYTHING HE HAS! LUCAS IS STUNNED, GIBSON HAS HIM AROUND THE WAIST, INTO A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! HE’S GOING FOR A COVER!
Deadprez: Lucas shows once again why he is such a tough guy! He kicks out after that flurry of punches and kicks! He’s stunned though! Gibson picks him up, he Irish Whips Lucas to the corner turnbuckle rushing in with a MASSIVE DROPKICK! Lucas stumbles out of the corner into a POWERSLAM! THE RING IS SHAKING!
Gavin Kirkland: GIBSON NOW HAS TURNED THE TABLES! LUCAS IS HURT BUT HE’S NOT GOING FOR A PINFALL! GRACON’S IS SIGNALING HIM TO FINISH IT AND ABLERT HITCHMAN IS SCREAMING ON THE OTHER END! GIBSON PICKS UP LUCAS….FEEL THE PAIN! OUT OF NOWHERE! LUCAS DRILLED GIBSON INTO THE MAT WITH THE CUTTER!
Deadprez: He almost beat Lethal Consequences like that! I don’t know if he has enough energy to make the cover! Wait…. Lucas is turning him over and lays on top of him! Count Ref!
Deadprez: GIBSON KICKS OUT! How the hell did he kick out!
Gavin Kirkland: When Minerva kissed him she put a spell on him, I guarantee it!
Deadprez: Tell me you just didn’t say that.
Gavin Kirkland: I did! I have inside information that her vagina is Pandora’s Box!
Deadprez: Gavin…. Playa….. Wait! Albert Hitchman and Joseph Gracons are right in front of us! They are getting right in each other’s faces! Neither one of these men want to relent! They are here for their clients and here comes Sabin Richards! The referee rolling out of the ring! He is trying to sperate these men! Sabin is trying to hold Gracons back, Hitchman is egging him on further!
(The Crowd starts to chant… LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!)
Gavin Kirkland: “LOOK IN THE RING! Lucas again focused on the argument, he gets to the ropes, the referee is not going to take much more of this! Lucas doesn’t see Gibson come from behind with a release German Suplex! Hitchman looks in the ring, the referee goes to slide in but Hitchman stops him, Gracons just pushed Hitchman on the floor!
Deadprez: What the HELL is going on!?
(The referee has had enough, and he ejects Albert Hitchman, Joseph Gracons and Sabin Richards from ringside, the crowd explodes in a roar as they start to argue with the official)
Gavin Kirkland: ALL THREE MEN EJECTED! Now we have Lucas Johnson versus David Gibson without any interference! Lucas is down in the ring but the referee is too busy trying to get everyone out from ringside!
Deadprez: Get them outta there! Seriously playa, let’s have this match!
(The referee finally clears the ring, Hitchman, Sabin and Gracons all start to head toward the back while the crowd chants…. NA NA NA NA…. NA NA NA NA….. HEY HEY HEY…. GOOD BYE!)
Deadprez: The crowd is letting it be known how they feel! The referee finally sliding back into the ring. Lucas is down, Gibson is down! The referee is going to start counting them out!
(Gibson starts to get to his knees, Lucas stirs and turns to his side)
(Gibson tries to use the ropes to get up, Lucas is to his knees)
(Gibson gets to his feet first, Lucas on his knees)
Deadprez: GIBSON UP FIRST AND HE GOES FOR A SHINING WIZARD! NO! LUCAS JOHNSON WITH A MATRIX MOVE!
Gavin Kirkland: LUCAS KIPPED UP! GIBSON TRIES TO TURN BUT HE GETS CAUGHT IN A SKULL CRUSHING FINALE! HE PLANTED GIBSON! HIS PARTNER IS GONE, THIS ONE IS OVER!
Deadprez: REFEREE DOWN FOR THE COUNT!
Deadprez: ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW! DAVID GIBSON KICKED OUT! LUCAS JOHNSON IS BESIDE HIMSELF!
Gavin Kirkland: “Look! He isn’t stopping, we have seen this before from Lucas! He is climbing the top rope, the high rent district! WHAT IS HE….. SHOOTING STAR PRESS AND IT CONNECTS!!!!
Deadprez: THAT HIT THE MONEY PLAYA! LUCAS HOOKS THE LEG FOR THE PIN!
Gavin Kirkland: SHOUDLER UP! GIBSON WAS ABLE TO GET HIS SHOULDER UP AND NOW LUCAS IS SLAMMING THE MAT AND GOING AFTER THE OFFICIAL!
Deadprez: This is why Albert Hitchman is so important in a situation like this to keep his client focused and right now Lucas is losing it! The referee is pushing him back threatening a disqualification!
Gavin Kirkland: And again, he is keeping his eyes off his opponent!
Deadprez: He grabs the referee! Here comes Gibson up, Lucas turn around homie! ROLLING ELBOW! THAT STUNNED LUCAS! RIGHT INTO A TIGER DRIVER 85! LUCAS LANDS HARD ON HIS HEAD! COVER THAT MAN!
Deadprez: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! LUCAS KICKS OUT!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: THESE TWO GUYS SHOWING WHAT THEY ARE MADE OF! We saw it at the Midsummer Massacre! Two of the toughest hombres and they need to end this, I want to see some females now!
Deadprez: This is a great match!
Gavin Kirkland: Women wrestling is BETTER!
Deadprez: Gibson picks up Lucas, he is setting him up for THE VAMPIRE KILLER! LUCAS THOUGH ELBOWS GIBSON! HE ELBOWS HIM AGAIN! GIBSON LET’s GO OF THE MOVE, LUCAS NOW HAS GIBSON! TRYING TO TAKE HIM DOWN FOR THE MACHINE BREAK!
Gavin Kirkland: HE GETS THIS IS OVER! HE HAS HIM COMING DOWN BUT GIBSON COUNTERS WITH A SCHOOLBOY AND SOME TIGHTS! HE HAS THE TIGHTS!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: WHAT THE HELL!?
Gavin Kirkland: JUST LIKE THAT IT IS OVER!
(David Gibson quickly rolls out of the ring and raises his hands in victory as Lucas Johnson sits in the middle of the ring upset, pulling on his tights at the referee. “Firing Squad” by No Name Tim and Kashis Keyz..)
Gina Romano: “THE WINNER OF THE MATCH….. DAVID GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBBBBBSON!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: Highway robbery right there, he countered and used the tights for leverage.
Gavin Kirkland: I think it was smart wrestling….. and Minerva’s Kiss…. It’s a curse I tell you!
Deadprez: Whatever the case, take nothing away from Lucas, he came to wrestle and again came up a little short. Gibson takes one here!
(Gibson smirks as he heads toward the back holding his neck while Lucas leans against the ropes watching him before chasing off the referee from the ring. Showdown then fades to commercial break.)
(Commercial break featuring an ad for McDelivery using UberEats! Use code “PAYNE” for 15% off your next McDelivery order!)
(“It Follows” by Cane Hill begins to pump through the Barclays Center speakers. The crowd immediately reacts negatively knowing exactly who this music belongs too. Inside the ring, Gina steps forward.)
Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… PLEASE WELCOME… XANDER PAYNE!!!
(As Xander steps out on stage, the boos grow louder. The Paynekiller simply shakes his head as he makes his way down to the ring.)
Gavin Kirkland: Now, we’re not going to act like I’m some closet Myles fan. In fact, I’ll never forgive The Wildcards for taking the Unified Tag Team Championships away from my blonde queens, Sienna and Kassidy, but even I’ll admit that Xander’s actions at Midsummer Massacre were a little heinous.
Deadprez: They were more than a little heinous, they were uncalled for. Myles was completely blindsided by Xander, and left for dead. Xander Payne owes everyone an explanation for what went down at MSM and I’m ready to hear what it is. I want to know his reasoning behind why he did what he did.
(Xander nonchalantly gets inside the ring and takes Gina’s microphone. His music dies down, but the electrified crowd does not.)
Crowd: ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!
(Xander shakes his head.)
Xander Payne: I’m a lot of things, but an asshole is not one of them.
(The ‘asshole’ chants grow even louder and that causes Xander to frown.)
Xander Payne: You know, I came out here tonight to address what happened last week at Midsummer Massacre and share my thoughts about it, but it seems like you people don’t want to listen to me. I find it highly amusing that you’re jeering me, and assuming that I’m the bad guy in this situation, when all I did was make the best move for my career going forward. At the end of the day, I’m a family man and I have to do what I need to do to keep food on the table for my beautiful wife and two precious children. Sometimes you just have to be selfish and think about your own needs, as well as your family’s needs, and being a member of The Wildcards just wasn’t cutting it for me anymore.
(The crowd isn’t happy to hear this. In fact, they start chanting for Myles.)
Crowd: WE WANT MYLES! WE WANT MYLES! WE WANT MYLES! WE WANT MYLES! WE WANT MYLES! WE WANT MYLES!
Xander Payne: Well, Myles isn’t coming out here. He knows better than to step up to a motivated Xander Payne. Make no mistake, I don’t owe you people an explanation about what happened at Midsummer Massacre but I’ll tell you this, I don’t have any regrets unless you factor in the fact I should have dropped Myles sooner. The biggest mistake I’ve made so far in my career is going forward with The Wildcards. It wasn’t too long ago that I was on Voltage, competing at Tempest and taking Noah Reigner to his limit in a match for the World Heavyweight Championship. I was at my best during that match and it took Noah everything he had in his tank to put me away. That match cemented me as a force to be reckoned with in this company, and some who shouldn’t be overlooked. I cemented myself as a future world champion and backed up my incredible reign as the New Breed God in impressive fashion.
Xander Payne: Myles and I were forced together by a random drawing, literally two slips of paper being pulled from a hat is what linked our names together and set me down this dark path. While The Wildcards was a successful venture for the most part, it was never something I truly wanted, and it definitely didn’t factor into my long term plans here in EAW. Myles was never my friend. I never truly trusted him. I depended on him to pull his weight in our tag team matches and do the job a champion of this company is supposed to do, but that’s where it ended for me. I always had bigger goals in mind and being in a tag team with someone who wasn’t on the same level as me mentally, physically, and emotionally was draining at the best of times. At Midsummer Massacre all of this finally clicked for me and I knew I had to take control of my career back. I have a long way to go. Any more of Myles, and I would be too far behind. As I already stated, I had to do what’s best for my family and myself going forward because that’s all that matters to me. Myles was a detriment to my career and now it’s time for me to get myself back on track.
Xander Payne: I’ve been around this sport for almost my entire life, but I’m not old by any means, nor am I even remotely close to being done. I have plenty of ‘Myles’ left on my career and when all is said and done, I want to be remembered for what I’ve accomplished on my own, and not for a lackluster tag team championship reign with a partner I had to cover. Lets not forget who actually won that match back at Grand Rampage. It was me. I’m the one who bashed Kassidy’s stupid plastic skull in and pinned her for the belts, and I damn sure didn’t lose those belts for us either at Pain for Pride. I worked hard in that match for Myles and myself, but he failed to follow through like he always does and couldn’t be in the right place at the right time. That’s why I’ve never really liked Myles if we’re being honest. I did my best to make it work, but now it’s time to move on. Myles won’t be holding me back or getting in my way ever again. I got rid of him because quite frankly, Myles is a piece of trash.
Xander Payne: And I’m better than him.
(Xander Payne lowers the microphone as his theme music begins to play. The crowd once again boos the shit out of him as he begins to climb out of the ring.)
(Showdown switches to the backstage area where Myles is seen looking at a monitor. It’s plain as day that he had just watched Xander’s entire promo, and the look on his face is a pretty dejected one. After watching Xander make his way up the ramp, Myles snaps out of his feelings and just shakes his head. He turns his back to the monitor and heads off, knowing he has a match to get ready for.)
(Commercial break featuring a Back-2-School from Target. Shop Target for great back to school deals on everything you need to learn in style. Free shipping on purchases over $35.)
(Gina Romano is standing in the middle of the ring as Showdown gets back to the action!)
Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
(Enemy Strike by Yuki Hayashi begins to blast across the PA system and sold-out crowd inside the Barclay’s Center rise to their feet and begin chanting for Myles.)
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST… FROM MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA… WEIGHING IN AT 208 POUNDS… HE IS THE SOLDIER… MYLES!!!
Gavin Kirkland: Breh. This dude looks like he got the shit kicked out of him and emotionally, I guess he did. Xander Payne’s betrayal seems to have truly caught Myles off guard, and I don’t even know what to say right now. I never expected Myles to take it this hard, especially when most people considered Myles the breakout star of The Wildcards.
Deadprez: Right, right. At Midsummer Massacre, Xander Payne turned his back on I guess now his former tag team partner, and after what he said earlier tonight, Myles has got to be angry. I don’t see that fire and determination from Myles though and that bothers me Gav, because he’s about to step inside the ring with a former EAW World Champion. Myles needs to be on his A-Game tonight.
(Myles slides inside the ring and takes his corner, getting set for the match. His music fades out and is soon replaced by “Starboi” by The Weeknd. The crowd erupts in a chorus of jeers as the GOAT himself, Ahren Fournier, begins to make his way down to the ring.)
Gina Romano: AND HIS OPPONENT… FROM PAWTUCKET, RHODE ISLAND… WEIGHING IN AT 210 POUNDS… HE IS THE GOAT AHREN FOURNIER!
Gavin Kirkland: Speaking of Midsummer Massacre, this absolute legend came within an eyelash of winning the Answers World Championship from Mr. DEDEDE. Ahren had the chairman on the ropes and was going for a ‘Storybook Ending’ when Mr. DEDEDE managed to nail Ahren with an absolutely incredible spear.
Deadprez: I was shook, but that ending takes absolutely nothing away from Ahren’s performance last weekend. He was incredible in that match, reminding the entire EAW Universe why he’s good enough to challenge for world championships in the process. Both men are looking to rebound here tonight, and I can’t wait to see what Myles and Ahren have for one another. This should be a great match.
(Ahren slides inside the ring and removes his obnoxious fur coat, while Myles remains still in his corner. After a few seconds, the referee checks with both men to make sure they’re ready and calls for the bell.)
(Ding! Ding! Ding!!)
Deadprez: Myles and Ahren kicking things off with a test of strength, but it’s Ahren who works it in his favor and slips behind Myles, looking for a waistlock takedown. Myles fights back, grabs Ahren by the wrist and begins working over it. He drops Ahren to a knee, bends the arm at the elbow, and drives his own elbow into the back of Ahren’s shoulder. The former EAW World Champion fights back, standing back up, and flipping forward the loosen Myles’ grip on his wrist. Ahren is able to gain the advantage now and controls Myles with a wrist lock of his own!
Gavin Kirkland: Myles mimicks Ahren! He rolls through and he kips up! Myles with control now, but Ahren gets his foot up, nails Myles in the gut, and unleashes a huge knife-edge chop to Myles’ chest! Ahren catches Myles with a second one… and a third one! Myles fires back with a kick to Ahren, and he grabs the GOAT and forces him into the corner! Myles with a running corner clothesline, but Ahren leaps up and over Myles! Ahren with a chop! And another! AND ANOTHER!
Deadprez: Myles gets his knees up as Ahren tries for a fourth chop, and he pushes himself out of the corner! Ahren manages to duck a clothesline attempt and he grabs Myles, throwing him right out of the ring. Ahren drops to the outside, but Myles is waiting! Chop to the chest by Myles! Ahren fires back with a chop of his own! Myles with a chop! Ahren with one! MYLES! AHREN! MYLES! AHREN! MYLES! AHREN! THESE TWO MEN ARE LIGHTING ONE ANOTHER UP RIGHT NOW!
Gavin Kirkland: MYLES HAS BACKED AHREN UP AGAINST THE RING POST AND HE GOES FOR ANOTHER CHOP!
Deadprez: :damn: AHREN JUST MOVED AND MYLES’ HAND HIT THE RINGPOST! AHREN CAPITALIZES AND CHOPS MYLES, DRIVING HIS KNEE INTO MYLES’ GUT! HE GRABS MYLES THE BY HAIR, SLAMS HIS FACE OFF THE APRON, AND ROLLS HIM BACK INSIDE! AHREN SLIPS BACK INSIDE THE RING AS MYLES IS GETTING UP! AHREN LOOKING FOR PROTECT YA NECK, BUT MYLES DIVES UNDER HIS LEGS! MYLES QUICKLY BACK UP AND HE CATCHES AHREN IN THE BACK WITH A DROP KICK! AHREN HITS THE ROPES CHEST FIRST, AND MYLES IS LOOKING FOR A ROLL UP, BUT AHREN ROLLS THROUGH AND SLIDES RIGHT BACK OUT OF THE RING!
Gavin Kirkland: MYLES WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE THAT CATCHES AHREN IN THE CHEST! MYLES’ BACK UP NOW… AND HE QUICKLY TURNS AROUND RUSHING THE ROPES AGAIN! SUICIDE DI- NO! AHREN MOVED AND MYLES CRASHES TO THE GROUND! AHREN QUICKLY PICKS UP MYLES… BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX ON THE MAT! AHREN SLIDES INTO THE RING TO BREAK UP THE COUNT AND HE’S RIGHT BACK AT WORK ON MYLES!
Deadprez: AHREN TAKES MYLES AND WHIPS HIM INTO THE STEEL RING STEPS! MYLES HITS BACK FIRST AGAINST THE STEEL! AHREN QUICKLY GRABS HIM UP AND TOSSES HIM INSIDE THE RING, GOING FOR A COVER!
Gavin Kirkland: MYLES GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
Deadprez: Ahren helps Myles into a sitting position and drives his knee into Myles’ back! Ahren is a hell of a striker himself and he is lighting up Myles now! Ahren helps Myles up and irish whips him into the corner! AHREN WITH A RUNNING KNEE STRIKE! HE FOLLOWS IT UP WITH ANOTHER KNEE STRIKE! AHREN WITH MULTIPLE PUNCHES AND KICKS TO MYLES NOW! AHREN WITH A SUPERKI- NO!
Gavin Kirkland: AHREN FAKES THE SUPERKICK TO MYLES’ SHIN AND MYLES DROPS TO HIS KNEE! SUPERKICK TO A KNEELING MYLES! AHREN CALLS THAT COMBINATION ‘STAR STRUCK’! THE GOAT CLIMBS TO THE TOP ROPE… DOUBLE FOOT STOMP FROM THE TOP ROPE ONTO MYLES! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Deadprez: AHREN WITH A COVER!
Gavin Kirkland: THE SOLDIER KICKS OUT!!!!
Deadprez: Ahren immediately looks to transition this into ‘Call To Arms’ but Myles quickly rolls to his knees and pushes himself up to his feet! He frees his arm and deadlifts Ahren up, showing off an impressive amount of strength, and he slams Ahren down on his back! Myles grabs Ahren by the hair, and grabs him from behind… BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX! MYLES HOLDS IT FOR A PIN!
Gavin Kirkland: AHREN KICKS OUT!
Deadprez: But Myles maintains control of the match! Myles pulls Ahren up and Irish whips him into the corner! MYLES WITH A RUNNING BIG BOOT THAT CONNECTS WITH AHREN’S FACE! MYLES FOLLOWS IT UP WITH A RUNNING JUMPING KNEE STRIKE! AHREN STUMBLES OUT OF THE CORNER AND MYLES NAILS HIM WITH A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! MYLES IS NOW SHOWING OFF HIS STRIKING ABILITY! HE NAILS THE GOAT WITH MULTIPLE STRIKES TO THE CHEST, AND FOLLOWS IT UP WITH A SPIN KICK THAT CONNECTS! MYLES WITH A KNEE STRIKE! HE GRABS AHREN AND HOISTS HIM UP IN THE AIR! HE LETS ALL THE BLOOD RUSH TO AHREN’S HEAD AND HE PLANTS HIM WITH A BRAINBUSTER!!!! MYLES WITH A COVER NOW!
Gavin Kirkland: AHREN GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
Deadprez: Myles gets up and quickly goes to the top rope! DIVING DOUBLE KNEES TO AHR- NO! AHREN ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! MYLES LANDS ON HIS KNEES AND IMMEDIATELY ROLLS TO THE APRON! AHREN FORCES HIMSELF BACK UP AND NOW HE IS GOING UP TOP! AHREN IS LOOKING FOR THE DOUBLE FOOT STOMP TO MYLES ON THE APRON BUT MYLES LEAPS UP! DROPKICK! AHREN FALLS BACK INTO A SITTING POSITION ON THE TOP ROPE AND MYLES SCRAMBLES UP, HOOKING AHREN… BUT AHREN FORCES HIM OFF! AHREN SHOVES MYLES TO THE GROUND, BUT MYLES IS QUICKLY BACK UP! HE GRABS AHREN, JERKS HIM UP… SUPERPLEX!!!
Gavin Kirkland: MYLES HOOKS THE LEG FOR THE COVER!
Deadprez: AHREN GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
Gavin Kirkland: MYLES JERKS AHREN UP AND LIFTS HIM UP! I THINK HE’S GOING FOR THE CANADIAN RACK DDT COMBINATION!
Deadprez: IT CONNECTS! MYLES GOES FOR ANOTHER COVER!
Gavin Kirkland: THE FORMER WORLD CHAMPION KICKS OUT AGAIN!
Deadprez: Myles can’t believe it! He looks a little frustrated at this point because I’m sure he wants this win pretty badly given everything that is going on right now, but Ahren has been a champion multiple times in this company! It’s going to take a lot more than that to put him away! Both men take their time getting back into the match, but it’s Ahren who begins crawling towards the ropes! This brings Myles back to life and he clambers towards Ahren! MYLES GRABS AHREN AND LOCKS HIM IN A CROSSFACE! MYLES HAS AHREN IN THE CROSSFACE! THE GOAT IS IN TROUBLE! AHREN IS PANICKING AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW HE’S GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS HOLD! AHREN REACHING FOR THE ROPES BUT HE’S NOT CLOSE ENOUGH! MYLES CONTINUES TO HOLD ON TO THAT CROSSFACE SUBMISSION AND AHREN REFUSES TO TAP!!
Gavin Kirkland: :damn: MYLES TRANSITIONS THAT CROSSFACE INTO CRADLE PIN! HOLY SHIT!
Deadprez: AHREN KICKS OUT!
Gavin Kirkland: AHREN AND MYLES ARE BOTH BACK TO THEIR FEET BUT MYLES IS CLEARLY THE FRESHER OF THE TWO! MYLES LOOKS FOR A CLOTHESLINE BUT AHREN DUCKS! AHREN GRABS MYLES FROM BEHIND, BUT MYLES IS ABLE TO SLIP OUT OF AN ATTEMPTED WAISTLOCK! MYLES GRABS AHREN BY THE NECK AND LOOKS FOR A DDT, BUT AHREN PUSHES HIM AWAY! AHREN LOOKING FOR A SNAP SUPLEX, BUT MYLES FENDS HIM OFF AND STRIKES HIM IN THE JAW WITH A FOREARM! AHREN FIRES BACK WITH A FOREARM! NOW MYLES! AHREN! MYLES! AHREN! MYLES! BACK AND FORTH THEY GO! IT’S MYLES WHO CATCHES AHREN OFF GUARD WITH AN UPPERCUT! MYLES CLIMBS TO THE TOP ROPE AND FLIES OFF FOR A MISSILE DROPKICK!!!
Deadprez: BUT AHREN MOVES! MYLES MISSES WITH THE MISSILE DROPKICK! AHREN IS QUICK TO GRAB UP MYLES… POP UP SUPLEX! HE’S CONVERTING IT INTO A CROSSFACE CHICKENWING AND THAT’S THE LULLABY! AHREN LOOKING TO END THIS MATCH RIGHT NOW! MYLES IS STRUGGLING RIGHT NOW! HE IS DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN TO TRY AND FREE HIMSELF! AHREN GETS HIS LEGS LOCKED AROUND MYLES’ WAIST AND MYLES IS DESPERATELY STRETCHING HIS FREE ARM OUT! HE BRUSHES THE BOTTOM ROPE! MYLES’ FINGERTIPS LATCH ONTO THE BOTTOM ROPE! THE REFEREE IS SCREAMING AT AHREN TO BREAK THE LULLABY AND THE GOAT IS FURIOUS! HE RELEASES MYLES AND CLIMBS TO HIS FEET TO YELL AT THE REFEREE!
Gavin Kirkland: HE’S WASTING VALUABLE TIME THOUGH! MYLES IS USING THE ROPES TO PULL HIMSELF UP AND HE’S SHAKING OFF THE EFFECTS OF THAT CROSSFACE CHICKENWING! MYLES IS WAITING FOR AHREN TO TURN AROUND AND HE TAKES HIM DOWN WITH A LARIAT! MYLES QUICKLY LIFTS AHREN UP… DE FAC- NO! AHREN GETS DOWN AND SHOVES MYLES INTO THE ROPES! MYLES REBOUNDS AND BRUSHES OFF A DROPKICK FROM AHREN! MYLES LIFTS AHREN UP AGAIN… HE IS GOING FOR THE DE FACTO! AHREN MANAGES TO BLOCK IT THOUGH AND HE DROPS TO HIS KNEES! MYLES NAILS HIM WITH A KNEE TO THE JAW FOR HIS EFFORTS AND HE SCOOPS AHREN BACK UP! APRON VERTICAL SUPLEX! MYLES WITH THE COVER!!!!
Deadprez: AHREN. KICKS. OUT!
Gavin Kirkland: MYLES RAKES HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR AND MOUNTS AHREN! HE IS PEPPERING THE GOAT WITH STIFF RIGHTS AND LEFTS RIGHT NOW! AHREN IS ABLE TO FEND HIM OFF AND BOTH MEN RETURN TO THEIR FEET! MYLES THROWS A RIGHT HAND! AHREN THROWS A RIGHT! MYLES! AHREN! MYLES! AHREN! THIS HAS BEEN THE STORY OF THE MATCH SO FAR! BOTH OF THESE MEN HAVE GIVEN THIS MATCH THEIR ALL AND I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS ONE IS GOING TO END!
Deadprez: Myles shoves Ahren back and now they’re both just throwing hands! This crowd is on their feet and as Myles muscles Ahren into the corner! Myles with an uppercut, and Ahren answers with a chop to the chest! Myles goes for another uppercut, but Ahren blocks it! Ahren catches Myles with a thumb to the eye… THE CLIMAX!!! RIPCORD KNEE STRIKE CONNECTS WITH MYLES! AHREN WITH THE COVER!
Gavin Kirkland: NO! MYLES JUST GETS HIS SHOULDER UP!
Deadprez: Frustration is settling in for Ahren right now and he unmercifully unloads a series of slaps to Myles’ face and head! Ahren shouts a bunch of obscenities down at Myles! Ahren is pulling Myles back up to his feet and he grabs him in a waistlock! Myles with an elbow that catches Ahren in the face, and that allows Myles to get free and rush the ropes! BUT AHREN WITH A HUGE CLOTHESLINE TAKEDOWN THAT TURNS MYLES INSIDE OUT! AHREN WITH A DEADLIFT BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX! THE REFEREE DROPS DOWN TO COUNT!
Gavin Kirkland: MYLES WILL LIVE TO FIGHT SOME MORE!
Deadprez: AHREN GETS UP AND HE LIES IN WAIT! MYLES IS SLOW TO RISE BUT AS HE DOES AHREN CHARGES FORWARD! STORYBOOK END-
Gavin Kirkland: MYLES AVOIDS THE CURB STOMP! AHREN HAS TO HIT THE BRAKES BEFORE HE CRASHES INTO THE ROPES AND MYLES FROM BEHIND WITH A MODIFIED BACKSTABBER! AHREN IS DOWN AND MYLES GRABS HIM UP… DE FAC- NO! AHREN SLIPS OUT OF THE DE FACTO FOR A THIRD TIME IN THIS MATCH! MYLES WHIRLS AROUND AND AHREN WITH A JUMPING CUTTER THAT PLANTS MYLES INTO THE MAT! MYLES ROLLS RIGHT TO THE OUTSIDE AND DROPS TO THE FLOOR!!
Deadprez: MYLES IS SLOW TO GET UP BUT HE IS FINALLY BACK ON HIS FEET!
Gavin Kirkland: BUT THERE GOES AHREN WITH A SLINGSHOT SPEAR THROUGH THE ROPES! MYLES IS DOWN! AHREN QUICKLY THROWS MYLES BACK INTO THE RING! THE GOAT GETS SET… MYLES IS BACK TO HIS KNEES… STORYBOOK ENDING!! AHREN CONNECTS WITH THE CURB STOMP! MYLES IS OUT! THIS MATCH IS OVER!!!
Deadprez: MYLES’ FOOT IS ON THE ROPE!!! MYLES’ FOOT IS ON THE ROPE!!!
Gavin Kirkland: Ahren thinks he’s won the match but the referee is pointing to Myles’ foot! A crazed look crossed the face of Ahren Fournier and I’m scared right now. What the fuck is going to happen?!
Deadprez: THIS MAN IS YELLING AT MYLES NOW! HE’S TURNED HIS ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE REFEREE IS SCREAMING AT MYLES! MYLES IS TRYING TO FIGHT HIS WAY BACK UP BUT AHREN SLAPS MYLES RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE! HE GRABS MYLES BY THE HAIR AND BEGINS TALKING TRASH TO HIM AND THAT SEEMS TO INFURIATE MYLES! MYLES WITH ALL THE FRUSTRATION IN THE WORLD ON HIS SHOULDERS RIGHT NOW AND HE ABSOLUTE UNLOADS ON AHREN! MYLES FIGHTING AHREN NOW! RIGHTS AND LEFTS ARE MAKING THEIR MARK! MYLES WITH A KNEE STRIKE! HE GRABS AHREN AND LIFTS HIM UP FOR ANOTHER TRY AT THE DE FAC-
Gavin Kirkland: AHREN STILL AVOIDS MYLES’ FINISHER ONCE AGAIN! AHREN RAKES HIS HANDS DOWN MYLES’ FACE AND PULLS HIM UP IN THE AIR! MYLES FIGHTS BACK DOWN TO HIS FEET AND SHOVES AHREN INTO THE ROPES! MYLES ROLLS UP AHR-
Deadprez: AHREN ROLLS THROUGH! AHREN HAS MYLES IN A ROLL UP NOW AND HE HAS A HANDFUL OF TIGHTS! THE REFEREE DOESN’T SEE IT!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… HERE IS YOUR WINNER… AHREN FOURNIER!
(‘Starboy’ begins to play as Ahren rolls himself right out of the ring, huge smirk across his face. Myles looks furious.)
Gavin Kirkland: Holy shit! Just like that Ahren stole this win!
Deadprez: Excellent match between these two men, but Ahren has proven time and time again he will always take the opportunity to win. He did that tonight.
(Inside the ring, Myles’ look of anger has turned to one of disappointment. He kicks the bottom rope as Showdown fades to commercial break.)
(Commercial break featuring an ad for Jiffy peanut butter.)
(“Just ‘Cos You Got The Power” by Motörhead blasts through the speakers as the crowd instantly boos at the entrance music of Mark Michaels. Mark walks out with the PURE Championship on his shoulders. It’s unsure of what he is saying to the Brooklyn fans because their boos are so freaking loud.)
Gina Romano: THE FOLLOWING MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL —
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!
Gina Romano: Introducing first…from Minneapolis, Minnesota…weighing in 240 pounds…he is the EAW PURE Champion…”The Leathal Injection”… MARRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKK MIIIICCCHHHHAAAAEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSS!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: At Midsummer Massacre, Mark Michaels successfully retained the PURE Championship against Ryan Wilson. I don’t think there was much people who believe that he would make it through his first title defense. Mark is able to get that out of the way! Now, he sets his sights towards Territorial Invasion!
Deadprez: The possibility of contenders that could face him for that championship is amazing! If his opponent tonight manages to get the victory over him, would he pursue the PURE Championship?
Gavin Kirkland: Something tells me that Chris Elite doesn’t care for Mark Michaels or the PURE Championship. He would love nothing more than to get that triple crown this season, but we’ll see!
(“Odee” by A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie plays through the speakers of the Barclays Center. The crowd EXPLODES in a massive ovation for Brooklyn’s Finest, Chris Elite walks out. Along with him are The Bozo Victims Unit. Detective Biggums has out his tickets and pen, ready to give out citations for being a dickeater. But, Chris ends up reminding him that there’s none in Brooklyn.)
Gina Romano: Introducing his opponent…being accompanied by The Bozo Victims Unit…from RIGHT HERE IN BROOKLYN, NEW YORK…weighing in 210 points… he is “Gawd Given Greatness”… CHHHHHRRRIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS ELLLLIIIIITTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: I am still amazed at just how goddamn good Chris Elite looks here tonight. Just when I didn’t think he could get anymore handsome, here he is! :whew:
Deadprez: I’m more amazed at the fact that he is still ALIVE! Is there anything a Gawd Contract can’t do?! God, I can’t even hear myself talking, Gavin! This crowd erupted the moment they saw Chris Elite on top of that ramp! He has the hometown advantage going into this match for sure! I don’t think the fans will be happy to see Chris lose in his hometown!
Gavin Kirkland: He did lose his World Championship in Brooklyn! :lupe:
Deadprez: He also won his World Championship here, so his chances are kind of 50/50 at the moment! I don’t think we should count out anything! But, with some of the things said by these two men, I think we are going to be in for a great match!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(Chris Elite and Mark Michaels meet each other in the middle of the ring. The two Elitists are looking at each other. Mark has that cold look on his face. Meanwhile, Chris has that calm and cool look on his face. He is letting Mark get his trash talking in. Chris feels like he doesn’t need to invest himself in this trash talking and listens. This only causes Mark to get louder in response.)
Mark Michaels (off-mic): IF YOU DON’T RESPECT ME KNOW, YOU WILL AFTER THIS MATCH IS DONE! I’M THE TOUGHEST SON OF A BITCH ON THIS ROSTER! IT’S SUCH A SHAME BECAUSE YOU’RE ONE OF THE FEW THAT HAD MY RESPECT! BUT, IF I HAVE TO BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU, I’LL DO THAT, BITCH!
Chris Elite (off-mic): Sorry, I couldn’t hear you. I don’t speak dickeater.
Mark Michaels (off-mic): Let’s see if you hear this!
(Mark Michaels slaps the shit outta Chris Elite.)
Gavin Kirkland: MARK MICHAELS JUST SLAPPED THE SHIT OUTTA CHRIS ELITE! EVEN THOUGH MARK PARADES HIMSELF IN BEING A BIT FEARLESS, I DON’T BELIEVE THAT WAS THE SMARTEST DECISION TO GO WITH! CHRIS’ FACE TURNS TO THE SIDE IN REACTION TO THAT SLAP. MARK IS GETTING CLOSE TO CHRIS’ FACE AS HE CONTINUES HIS TRASH TALKING. CHRIS HASN’T MOVED A MUSCLE SINCE THAT HUGE SLAP!
Deadprez: CHRIS ELITE CONNECTS WITH AN I’LL SMACK THE SHIT OUTTA YOU — THE BITCHMAKER ON MARK MICHAELS AS THAT MANAGES TO KNOCK HIM OUT OF THE GROUND! MARK IS TRYING TO SCOOT AWAY FROM CHRIS, BUT CHRIS MAKES SURE THAT MARK WILL NOT ESCAPING FROM HIM! The official manages to back Chris away from Mark Michaels! Mark gets back to a vertical base! As soon as the official gives Chris the okay to resume this match, Chris goes at Mark as the two men begin to lock up, but Mark manages to get a good hold of Chris’ arm and twists it around! Mark pulls Chris closer to his side as he begins to apply a side headlock, but Chris manages to push Mark away! Mark bounces from the ropes and goes to deliver a punch as Gawd Given Greatness, but Chris manages to duck before rebounding off the ropes to connect with a flying clothesline, but Mark manages to get Chris by his arm before countering with a hip toss! Chris gets to a seated position as Mark gets in front of Chris Elite before connecting with a penalty kick!
Gavin Kirkland: NO, CHRIS ELITE MANAGES TO GET MARK MICHAELS’ LEG BEFORE HE CAN APPLY THE PENALTY KICK! CHRIS SWEEPS MARK’S LEG AND TAKES HIM TO THE GROUND! MARK FALLS ONTO HIS BACK FIRST AS CHRIS RISES BACK TO HIS FEET! HE CONNECTS WITH A DOUBLE FOOT STOMP ON MARK’S STOMACH! Mark groans in pain! Chris gets Mark to his feet before delivering a huge Irish whip to the corner! Mark crashes back first onto that corner, but Chris is going right after the PURE Champion with a hesitation dropkick! Mark falls onto a seated position before Chris goes right after him before connecting with a big boot to Mark’s face at the corner! Chris pulls Mark by his foot and to the middle of the ring! Chris Elite goes for the first cover in this match! He would love nothing more than to end this match as soon as possible!
Deadprez: Mark Michaels gets his shoulder up at one! Chris Elite gets Public Enemy Number One back to his feet! He gets a good hold of his waist before throwing Mark behind him with a German suplex! But, Mark manages to catch himself! Mark is on his feet as Chris turns himself around! MARK GOES RIGHT AFTER CHRIS WITH A HEAD SHOT — PELE KICK SENDS THE CHAMPION STAGGERING BACK! MARK FALLS TO ONE KNEE! CHRIS RUNS TOWARDS HIM — RUNNING DROPKICK TO THE PURE CHAMPION! MARK FALLS ONTO HIS BACK! CHRIS ELITE IS ON FIRE AS HE IS GESTURING FOR MARK MICHAELS TO GET BACK ON HIS FEET! IT SEEMS LIKE CHRIS IS LOOKING TO END THIS MATCH RIGHT NOW! We know how Chris feels about Mark — he doesn’t respect Mark whatsoever! He doesn’t take Mark as a legit competitor and if he is able to put away the champion here, he’ll have that to justify his reasoning! Chris is stalking Mark up to his feet before running towards him!
Gavin Kirkland: BOX OFFICE SMASH ON MARK MICHAELS!!
Deadprez: NO, GAVIN! MARK MICHAELS MANAGES TO DUCK THE BOX OFFICE SMASH! HE HAD THAT MOVE SCOUTED AS HE ROLLS HIMSELF UNDERNEATH THE RING! HE STEPS FOOT RINGSIDE AND IT SEEMS LIKE HE’S WALKING OVER TO THE TIMEKEEPER’S AREA! MARK IS DEMANDING FOR HIS CHAMPIONSHIP AS HE SNATCHES THE TITLE FROM THE TIMEKEEPER! MARK IS MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RAMP! THE CROWD IS NOT LIKING THIS WHATSOEVER!
Gavin Kirkland: I don’t blame these fickle fans at all. They paid to see this match and would love nothing more than for this match to have an actual winner!
(The crowd is booing, but Mark Michaels has his PURE Championship on his shoulder as he looks to make his way up the ramp. But, he ends up stopping due to something blocking his way. The Bozo Victims Unit are standing in front of the ramp. They are blocking the way and making sure that Mark doesn’t make his way up the ramp.)
Mark Michaels (off-mic): WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? CLEAR THE WAY, YOU BOZOS! IF YOU DON’T, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO LIKE THAT HAPPENS HERE!
(Mark Michaels turns his sights to Detective Biggums.)
Mark Michaels (off-mic): I’m not afraid to drop any of you. Especially, you. None of you people intimidated me.
(Detective Biggums takes a step closer to Mark Michaels, which makes him take a step back, but he’s trying his everything to keep himself together.)
Deadprez: Turn yourself around, Mark! You’re not going to like what happens to yourself next! Chris Elite from the top turnbuckle as —
Gavin Kirkland: YOU GOTTA LOVE IT — THE DOUBLE ROTATION MOONSAULT ONTO MARK MICHAELS ON THE OUTSIDE! BOTH MEN GO CRASHING DOWN RINGSIDE! IT SEEMS LIKE THE BOZOS DID THEIR PURPOSE AND THAT WAS TO BUY CHRIS ELITE SOME TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT TO DO NEXT! It seems like Mark is going to continue this match no matter if he likes it or not. Chris makes it back to his feet as he is hyping the crowd up! Chris gets Mark to a vertical base! Chris with an Irish whip to Mark against the barricade! Mark goes crashing onto it, but Chris doesn’t give Mark any opportunity to breathe as he runs towards the PURE Champion and connects with a roundhouse kick! Mark falls onto a seated position, but Chris runs closer to Mark with a knee strike to his skull! Chris find his way on the top of the apron! He is giving Mark sometime to get back to his feet! I wonder what Chris is going to! Mark is slowly getting up to his feet before Chris Elite jumps from the apron — satellite DDT on Mark!
Deadprez: MARK MICHAELS MANAGES TO GET ALL OF CHRIS ELITE’S MOMENTUM BEFORE COUNTERING WITH A SPINEBUSTER ON THE RING APRON! CHRIS LANDED IN THE MOST AWFUL WAY POSSIBLE AS HE IS SEEN CRINGING IN PAIN! WHAT AN OPENING FOR MARK TO GET HIMSELF BACK INTO THIS MATCH! MARK GETS CHRIS BACK TO HIS FEET BEFORE WHIPPING HIM TO THE STEEL STEPS! CHRIS CRASHES ONTO THOSE STEEL STEPS! MARK MAKES SURE TO FOLLOW THAT UP WITH A KNEE TO CHRIS’ SKULL! I DID NOT LIKE THE SOUND OF CHRIS’ SKULL COLLIDING WITH THOSE STEEL STEPS! MARK GETS CHRIS BEFORE ROLLING HIM BACK INTO THE RING! MARK ROLLS HIMSELF BACK INTO THE RING BEFORE CONNECTING WITH A KNEE DROP ON CHRIS BEFORE GOING FOR THE COVER!
Gavin Kirkland: The former World Heavyweight Champion manages to kick out at two! Mark Michaels has a headlock takedown on Chris Elite! Mark then gets to one knee and transitions that headlock takedown to a side headlock! I don’t see Mark as the guy to do the flashiest moves, but I can see him doing a great job at wearing down his opponents! Grounding Chris is the best thing that Mark could be doing! Mark goes for a front headlock as he manages to take Chris down once again! Mark connects with some punches to the back of Chris Elite! Mark wants to do everything in his power to make sure that Chris doesn’t make any sort of comeback in this match! Chris manages to push Mark and release himself out of that front headlock, but Mark manages to quickly shift the match back to his favor with a kneeling facebreaker! Chris goes staggering back in response to that facebreaker as Mark pulls Chris closer by connecting with a fisherman’s suplex!
Deadprez: Chris Elite goes down, but it seems like Mark Michaels’ work is not done yet! Mark gets Chris by his legs and it seems like the PURE Champion is going for the inverted figure four leg lock on Gawd Given Greatness! Chris is trying to roll himself out of the submission hold! Being in this submission hold does not seem like fun at all! BUT, MARK GETS HIS FOOT AND REPEATEDLY PRESSES IT AGAINST THE STOMACH OF CHRIS! HE DOES THIS UNTIL IT SEEMS LIKE CHRIS CANNOT BLOCK ANY OF THESE SHOTS ANYMORE! MARK ROLLS CHRIS INTO HIS STOMACH BEFORE APPLYING THE INVERTED FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK! CHRIS IS TRAPPED, GAVIN! THE LOOK OF PAIN ON CHRIS’ FACE SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING! IT SHOULD TELL YOU NO THAT HE MAY BE COMING CLOSE TO QUITTING THIS MATCH! AT THE SAME TIME, IT SEEMS LIKE CHRIS IS TRYING TO REACH FOR THAT BOTTOM ROPE! HE’S DOING HIS BEST TO MAKE SURE THAT HE DOESN’T GIVE MARK THAT VICTORY! MARK WOULD NEVER LET PEOPLE HEAR THE END OF IT!
Gavin Kirkland: The bottom rope is far away, Deadprez! His best shot would be to either submit (like a smart person) or find a way to counter this move! Chris doesn’t strike me as someone who is very good at countering submission moves! If it were me, I’d have tapped out! But, Chris is too stubborn! He would rather die than submit right here! I mean, does he really need to win this match? Is it really worth it?
Deadprez: This guy just survived an explosion at Midsummer Massacre, Gavin! Do you really believe he will consider tapping out to Mark Michaels? Chris has been through some shit, but he has managed to survive and become so much better because of it! Chris shouldn’t submit here!
(Detective Asson gets on the top of the apron as she is getting the attention of the official.)
Gavin Kirkland: DETECTIVE ASSON. BARGAIN BIN KASSIDY HEART IS ON THE APRON AS THE OFFICIAL’S ATTENTION IS AWAY FROM THIS MATCH!
Deadprez: LOOK AT THE RING, GAVIN! DETECTIVE TY SLIDES UNDERNEATH THE RING AND BEGINS TO STOMP ON MARK MICHAELS! HE IS TRYING TO RIP AWAY MARK FROM CHRIS ELITE! I don’t think that’s pretty bright for him to do, but he’s a bozo for a reason! Ty manages to get Mark away from Chris! After some struggle, he seems successful in doing that! Ty manages to roll himself out of the ring as Detective Asson makes her way down the ramp! The official does not suspect a thing!
Gavin Kirkland: When you got Bozos to do your dirty work, might as well use them! :wow: I’m not a fan of Chris Elite at all, but at least he’s smart to utilize his squad when he needs them the most!
Deadprez: Chris Elite manages to make it back to a vertical base! Mark Michaels does the same thing! At least, we see that Detective Ty’s ways of getting Mark to unlock that inverted figure four did not impact Mark much! It seems like both men are doing a bit of chain wrestling as Mark manages to get Chris in a headlock once again! But, Chris manages to escape the headlock before rebounding off the ropes and connecting with a headscissors takedown on Mark Michaels! Mark races back to his feet as Chris runs towards Mark with some axe handles as that takes the champion down! Chris connects with a dropkick as that takes Mark down, but he is getting right back up! LOOK AT THIS, GAVIN! DETECTIVE TY IS ON THE APRON AS HE’S LAUGHING AT MARK BEING TAKEN DOWN BY CHRIS! THE OFFICIAL IS TRYING TO TELL TY TO GET DOWN, BUT TY DOESN’T SEEM TO BE LISTENING AT ALL! CHRIS RUNS TOWARDS MARK WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK!
Gavin Kirkland: Mark Michaels ducks the roundhouse kick — LOW BLOW ON CHRIS ELITE! WHAT IN THE WORLD? THE OFFICIAL DIDN’T CATCH MARK LOW BLOWING CHRIS! THE OFFICIAL WAS DEALING WITH DETECTIVE TY! CHRIS FALLS DOWN TO HIS KNEES IN PAIN AS THE OFFICIAL IS CHECKING TO SEE IF CHRIS IS ALRIGHT! MARK MICHAELS HAS A HUGE GRIN ON HIS FACE! HE HAS SECONDS AWAY FROM SCORING AN IMPRESSIVE VICTORY OVER A FORMER WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
(Mark Michaels is held by his ankle and he slides underneath the bottom rope and thrown to the outside of the ring.)
Deadprez: DETECTIVE BIGGUMS JUST YANKED CHRIS ELITE BY HIS ANKLES! HE WASN’T TOO HAPPY ABOUT MARK MICHAELS DELIVERING THAT LOW BLOW ON HIS FRIEND!
Gavin Kirkland: AND LIKE A PACK OF WOLVES, THE BOZOS BEGIN TO STOMP THE LIVING HELL OUT OF MARK MICHAELS! AN EYE FOR AN EYE, I SUPPOSE! THEY’RE TRYING TO GIVE MARK A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE! THE OFFICIAL IS STEAL DEALING WITH CHRIS INSIDE THE RING, BUT THE BOZOS ARE HAVING THEIR OWN FINE RINGSIDE AS THEY STOMP THE LIVING HELL OUT OF THE PURE CHAMPION! DETECTIVE BIGGUMS GETS MARK TO HIS FEE BEFORE CONNECTING WITH A GORILLA PRESS SLAM ON THE TOP OF THE APRON! He rolls Mark inside the ring! This official is pure garbage tonight! The amount of cheating that has happened is unbelievable! But, Chris manages to get back to his feet! He’s still feeling the effects of the low blow, but he is not going to let that stop him at all!
Deadprez: Chris Elite pulls Mark Michaels closer to the corner and gets him in position for this next move! CHRIS GETS TO THE TOP ROPE! HE SITUATES HIMSELF ON AS HE TURNS BACK TO SEE MARK STILL LYING THERE BEFORE FLYING OFF THE TOP ROPE — BIONIC STOMP! MOONSAULT INTO A DOUBLE FOOT STOMP FROM THE TOP ROPE! IT LANDS PERFECTLY ON THE PURE CHAMPION! CHRIS GOES FOR THE COVER! THIS COULD BE THE END OF THE MATCH RIGHT THERE!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THR—
Gavin Kirkland: Mark Michaels kicks out at the last second! The fact that Mark is still in this match is mind-blowing! He has found himself in odds going into this match! Despite him having to resort to cheating matters in order to take Chris down, he has needed to deal with The Bozo Victims Unit ringside! The PURE Champion will not quit! He is too stubborn to keep down, Deadprez! Chris is going to need to do a bit more to put him down! CHRIS RISES BACK TO HIS FEET AS HE’S GESTURING FOR MARK TO GET BACK TO HIS FEET! IT SEEMS LIKE HE’S GOING FOR THAT SUPERKICK! THE BOX OFFICE SMASH! MARK IS TRYING TO MAKE HIS WAY BACK TO HIS FEET AS CHRIS CANNOT WAIT ANY LONGER AS HE RUSHES TOWARDS HIM — BOX OFFICE SMASH!
Deadprez: Mark Michaels counters with a leg sweep as that takes down Chris Elite! Mark gets Chris in position — THE LIBERATION HAS BEGUN! THE LEBELL LOCK IS APPLIED ON CHRIS ELITE! BUT, CHRIS MANAGES TO ROLL HIMSELF OUT OF THE LEBELL LOCK! CHRIS GETS BACK TO HIS FEET AS MARK DOES THE SAME THING!
Gavin Kirkland: CHRIS ELITE WITH A BOX OFFICE SMASH! MARK MICHAELS GOES DOWN! MARK MICHAELS GOES DOWN! CHRIS WITH THE COVER!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(The crowd in the Barclays Center explodes as soon as the three count was made. “Odee” plays once again as Chris Elite gets on his knees. He feels relieved that this match has ended as the rest of The Bozo Victims Unit races back into the match to celebrate and get Chris back to his feet. Mark Michaels rolls himself out of the ring, giving Chris the ring to celebrate.)
Gina Romano: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH…CHRRRRRRRIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ELLLLLIIIIIIITTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Deadprez: What a match! :whew: I was not expecting this match to be as crazy as it was. I mean, we almost had Mark Michaels leaving the match around the beginning parts of the match! We had interference from the rest of The Bozos during this match! We had Mark going for the low blow behind the officials back, but The Bozos managed to avenge Chris by stomping the shit out of him! Through all of that mess, Chris managed to pick up the victory!
Gavin Kirkland: Mark Michaels was at a disadvantage going into this match! I mean, did anyone really believe that Mark had a shot of winning this match? I felt if this was one-on-one, the match would have went on a little different! At the end of the day, Mark Michaels is the PURE Champion! This loss shouldn’t phase him at all!
Deadprez: But, Chris Elite did get a victory over the PURE Champion. From how things occurred at Midsummer Massacre, it seems like things will go great for him looking forward to Territorial Invasion!
(Commercial break featuring an ad for Taco Bell’s watermelon breeze! Available for a limited time only.)
(Camera returns from commercial to find Gina Romano standing inside of the ring.)
Gina Romano: Ladies and Gentlemen… the following contest is scheduled for…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!
(“Big Bad Wolf” by In This Moment hits as Minerva walks out onto the stage accompanied by Constance Blevins. Both wear their Unified Tag Team Championships around their waists. Minerva pauses, posing for the crowd as Constance motions for everyone to look at her partner before both begin to make their way down to the ring.)
Gina Romano: Introducing first, making her way to the ring accompanied by Constance Blevins… from Coyote Flats, Texas, weighing in at 125 pounds… she is one half of the EAW Unified Tag Team Champions… MINNNNEEEERRRVVVVAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Deadprez: Here comes the tag team champions! Minerva comes in looking ready for what may be the single biggest one on one opponent she has faced! She has consistently managed to step up to the plate since she came to EAW so this could be a very exciting matchup!
Gavin Kirkland: Yay! Gavin’s favorite Gorgeous Goth Gypsy Gems are back in action tonight!
Deadprez: Breh… just day titties again. Now you just being weird.
Gavin Kirkland: Titties? I think Heavenly Hell are gems, both Constance and Minerva. One is a gypsy. One is goth. They’re more than just pieces of meat, Prez. Show these talented women some damn respect, you sexist.
(Minerva slides into the ring and holds her Championship high as Constance applauds her on the outside. Minerva removes her Championship and hands it out to Blevins as “Ultimate Battle” by ZENTA hits the speakers and Jamie O’Hara walks out followed by Cameron Ella Ava. He looks out with a smirk to the crowd before making his way down the ramp.)
Gina Romano: And her opponent, making his way to the ring accompanied by EAW Hall of Famer Cameron Ella Ava… from Melbourne, Australia… weighing in at 190 pounds… EAW Hall of Famer… JAAAAMMMMIIIEEEE OOOOOO’HHHHAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAA!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: Oh… it’s Jamie… I… Ummm…
Deadprez: Jamie O’Hara is a Hall of Famer and a man who is not only called the Ace, but has earned that name multiple times over. Considered one of the best to ever step inside the ring, he’s looking to test the mettle of the rookie Minerva here tonight.
Gavin Kirkland: Abs…
Deadprez: You say something, Gav?
Gavin Kirkland: HUH?!? Uhh. No. Nothing…………………………………………… *its not gay if I still like girls, right?*
(Jamie climbs up and into the ring, pausing briefly on the top turnbuckle as he looks out at the crowd before hopping down and eyeing Minerva with a confident look of focus. Cameron steps around and walks past Constance as she takes a spot in Jamie’s corner as the referee calls for the bell.)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: Here we go! We are finally underway with this much anticipated matchup! The Ace and the Gypsy Moth! The man who stands above versus this unique and mystical rookie! Both of them look set but neither is making the first move… Minerva very aware of what Jamie is capable of and Jamie not looking to rush in foolishly. Minerva though, nerves may be setting in as she now presses forward! Minerva moving in and Jamie letting her control the pace for now, stepping only as she does as they move towards the center! Minerva looks for a lock up— BUT JAMIE SLIDES THROUGH AND ROLLS HER UP FROM BEHIND!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Gavin Kirkland: KICKOUT! Jamie is grinning though… That roll up was him sending a message. He wants Minerva to know that he can end this at anytime, so she better stay on her game. Jamie stands to his feet still grinning… God he’s got such a pretty smile…
Gavin Kirkland: I SAID THIS MATCH IS PRETTY WILD! Yeah! That! Open your ears, Prez!
Deadprez: Minerva is back to her feet! Jamie looks ready! Minerva charges right at O’Hara! BUT JAMIE SIDESTEPS AND SHOVES MINERVA TOWARDS THE TURNBUCKLES! Jamie had the rush scouted and— MINERVA RUNS UP THE TURNBUCKLES I TO A MOONSAULT! CATCHES JAMIE BY THE HEAD! PARADISE LOST! THE INVERTED DDT CONNECTS AND MINERVA HOOKS THE LEG!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Gavin Kirkland: BUT JAMIE POWERED A SHOULDER UP AT THE VERY LAST INSTANT! MY GOD! NOT ENOUGH TO PUT THE ACE AWAY BUT MINERVA ALMOST HAD HIM OFF THE SHOCK FACTOR ALONE! Jamie now rolling to the outside and getting his feet underneath him! He’s clutching the back of his head after the connection, gathering his bearing as he keeps his eyes on the sultry gypsy in the ring! He definitely wasn’t expecting a fight like this out of the innovative upstart, Minerva! If that was anyone besides Jamie, that may have been the match right there!
Deadprez: Minerva now on the inside, goading Jamie back into the ring. Cameron Ella Ava now stepping over, giving Jamie some reassurance before he slides back in. Both competitors face each other and Jamie looks much more targeted at Minerva now, not letting a moment like that slip by him again. O’Hara, now the aggressor, moves in quickly and shoots for a takedown! Minerva puts a knee up to block— BUT A DRAGONSCREW TAKEDOWN BY JAMIE AS HE GRABS THE BLOCKING LEG! O’Hara now on top as he wraps his arm around Minerva’s shoulder and grabs her wrist, could be looking to apply a submission here! But Minerva twists her hips and manages to pull her arm out of Jamie’s grip! But O’Hara maintains control of that shoulder as he now slips around for back control! He wraps his legs around to apply a body scissors as he slides underneath and uses his arm to force Minerva to the side! Some kind of seated abdominal stretch as he grounds her with that body scissors just above the hips! Minerva is feeling this hold now as she’s reaching around and looking for an escape!
Gavin Kirkland: Please don’t tell Jamie I said this but BORING!!!! No one wants this technical— Minerva just rolled through! She used her flexibility to reach over and plant her hands on the mat and relieve the pressure of that abdominal stretch! She twists and reaches back now! Finally grabbing ahold of the ropes! Forcing the break! Jamie keeps that body scissors in though! He extends his legs to squeeze as much life out of Minerva as he can! Here comes the referee!
Ref: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
Deadprez: Jamie releases the hold as rolls away! The referee now checking on Minerva as she is slow to get to her feet. Jamie already up to a vertical base and standing behind the ref as— MINERVA JUST SLID BETWEEN THE REFEREE’S LEGS! UPKICK RIGHT TO THE O’HARA’S O’JUEVOS! The low blow just shot all the air out of Jamie’s lungs and it was behind the officials back! Cameron is livid on the outside! She’s tryin to tell the referee what happened but he didn’t see it! And now she’s screaming at Constance who looks just as shocked by her partner’s actions!
Gavin Kirkland: She touches Jamie where only Cam and I are allowed to touch him! Minerva now grabbing Jamie by the head and arm! She runs him and throws him shoulder first between the turnbuckles and into the steel post! Now she slides from behind and rolls Jamie up! This could be the biggest win of her career!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Deadprez: Kickout from the Hall of Famer! Jamie still trying to catch his breath after the low blow but he lives to fight on! Minerva thought that might’ve been it! She’s getting frustrated now! You only get so many chances to put a man like Jamie away for the three count and she’s had two already! Minerva now dropping in behind Jamie and trying to apply a rear naked choke! The sleeper hold locked in and Minerva squeezing with everything she has! Jamie still feeling the effects of what all just happened but reaching! Searching for an escape! He pries at the Gypsy’s arm but she’s already got it sunk in deep!
Gavin Kirkland: Jamie is going to need to find a way out of the sexiest choke I’ve ever seen if he wants to continue this fight!
Gavin Kirkland: I MEAN! UMM… LOOK! IN THE RING AND NOT AT MY SEXUAL CONFUSION! JAMIE FORCING HIS WAY TO HIS FEET WITH MINERVA STILL ON HIS BACK! SHES CLINGING TO THAT CHOKE FOR DEAR LIFE BUT JAMIE NOW UP TO HIS FEET! JAMIE IS REACHING BACK AND TRYING TO GRAB MINERVA TO THROW HER OFF BUT SHE WILL NOT RELENT!
Deadprez: Jamie scrambling, fading in the hold of this choke, keeping the blood flow from his brain! He can only have so much left in the— JAMIE SMASHES MINERVA BACK AGAINST THE TURNBUCKLES! BUT MINERVA HOLDS ON! JAMIE NOW CLIMBING! WITH MINERVA ON HIS BACK HES USING THE ROPES IN THE CORNER TO ELEVATE HIMSELF! JAMIE IS UP TO THE SECOND ROPE AND STILL GOING! ON THE TOP ROPE NOW! NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OF THIS! DON’T DO IT!
Gavin Kirkland: HOLY SHIT!
Deadprez: JAMIE LEAPS FROM THE TOP WITH A DIVING FRONT FLIP SENTON OUTSIDE TO THE FLOOR! ALL WITH MINERVA ON HIS BACK! MINERVA CRUSHED UNDERNEATH JAMIE! JAMIE MAY NOT BE THE SIZE OF APOCALYPSE BUT THAT IMPACT FORCED MINERVA TO BREAK THE HOLD ON CONTACT! Both competitors are down and out! Constance and Cameron both are screaming for their respective charge get up and keep fighting! But Jamie was in that choke for so long and Minerva might be out cold from the fall to the outside with Jamie on top of her! Could this be it? The referee is in position and he’s starting to make a count!
Deadprez: Neither of them is moving! Cameron is kneeling down next to her husband, trying to see if he’s ok! Constance Blevins now has motioned a Doctor to come and check on Minerva! The ringside medical staff is trying to look her over! This match may be over if neither can continue!
Gavin Kirkland: That was a gutsy move by Jamie but that has to be all she wrote. The impact of that fall while he was barely conscious, he’s lucky he and Minerva are both still alive. I hate to say it especially about a guy like Jamie who probably looks totes kewt in a nice tight sweater but that move may have cost the entire contest. Imagine— WAIT IS JAMIE ACTUALLY GETTING UP?!?
Deadprez: HE IS! JAMIE O’HARA NOW DRAGGING HIMSELF WITH HIS ARMS OVER TOWARDS THE RING SKIRT AND TRYING TO PULL HIMSELF UP TO HIS FEET! JAMIE SHOWING SIGNS OF LIFE!
Gavin Kirkland: Pulling on someone’s skirt and right in front of his wife. Such a bad boy.
Deadprez: AND MINERVA JUST SHOVED THE MEDICAL TEAM AWAY! SHES MOVING SLOW BUT SHES AWAKE AND WANTS TO KEEP GOING! THE HEART OF THE TAG TEAM CHAMPION ON DISPLAY! AND JAMIE IS NOW UP TO ONE LEG! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE MAY STILL HAVE A MATCH!
Gavin Kirkland: Minerva trying to grab onto Constance for help to stand but the referee is telling Blevins to back away! Minerva trying to push herself up to a base but she is still hurting from that fall! Jamie O’Hara is back to his feet, though! He’s stabilizing himself! Trying to get steady before moving! Minerva still trying to find a way to get up!
Deadprez: Jamie is making his way over to Minerva! She’s barely pressed up to her knees but O’Hara now teaching down and grabbing her by the hair! Jamie pulling Minerva up! OH! LANDING PUNCHES TO HER HEAD AS HE PULLS! Minerva in no position for anything except to be pulled to her feet!
Deadprez: MINERVA JUST GRABBED JAMIE BY THE HEAD AND CONNECTS WITH A JAW BREAKER! JAMIE IS STAGGERED AS MINERVA PUSHES THE REST OF THE WAY BACK TO HER FEET! MOVING LIKE SHES IN PAIN BUT MINERVA IS UP AND ON THE ATTACK AGAIN! SHE GRABS JAMIE… AND RUNS HIM SHOULDER FIRST AGAIN INTO THE POST!
Gavin Kirkland: Jamie just bounces off the ring post and Minerva looks like she is going to try and maintain control of the match but now she’s looking between Jamie and the referee! She’s on a limited clock and any win over Jamie O’Hara will look great! Just take the countout! YES! Minerva slides back into the ring! She leaves Jamie in the outside!
Deadprez: I thought you were cheering on Jamie?
Gavin Kirkland: :lupe:
Deadprez: JAMIE IS IN PAIN! THAT SHOULDER MAY BE DISLOCATED BY THIS POINT! HE HAS TO GET BACK IN THE RING BUT HE IS ONLY STANDING WITH HIS BODYWEIGHT AGAINST THE POST! JAMIE HAS TO FIND A SURGE OF ENERGY HERE!
Deadprez: AND JAMIE MANAGED TO THROW A LEG UP AND ROLL UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE JUST BEFORE THE COUNT ENDED! THIS MATCH ISN’T OVER YET! AND MINERVA TRYING TO GET RIGHT BACK TO THE ATTACK NOW AS SHE STOMPS INTO THAT SHOULDER!
Gavin Kirkland: BUT JAMIE CATCHES HER BOOT! JAMIE HAS MINERVA BY THE LEG! HE PRESSES UP AND WHIPS AROUND TO BRING MINERVA TO THE MAT! JAMIE WRAPS HIS LEGS AROUND MINERVA’S! SOUTHERN CRUCIFIXION! THE LEGSCISSORS CROSS KNEE LOCK IS APPLIED! MINERVA IS HURTING NOW AND THE ACE IS GETTING HIMSELF BACK INTO THIS MATCHUP! Minerva is digging, clawing for something to relieve the pressure on her knee! You know she can feel the strain inside as it tears the the ligaments! Jamie cranking the hold in tighter and tighter! Minerva struggling! Digging! She raises her hand! Is she going to tap here?
Deadprez: WOW! Minerva just pressed into the mat with her hands! She remembered Jami was just barely into the ring and she shoves him back underneath the ropes! Jamie has to break the hold! Jamie releases the Southern Crucifixion and rolls out from underneath the ropes! Minerva tried to get up and— OH! She bumps into the ref and knocks him back into the corner! She must hurt in that knee or— MINERVA JUST PULLED SOMETHING OUT OF HER TIGHTS! ITS THAT CAPSULE! SHES GOING TO USE THE DARK ON JAMIE! MINERVA TURNS TO SPRAY THE MIST!
Gavin Kirkland: JAMIE JUST SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF MINERVA! THE SMACK TURNED HER HEAD AND SHE SPAT THE BLACK MIST ALL OVER THE MAT BUT NOT INTO JAMIE’S FACE! JAMIE GRABS MINERVA! GALACTIC BUSTER! THE PUMPHANDLE LUNGBLOWER! MINERVA IS DOWN AND JAMIE HAS THE COVER!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
Deadprez: MINERVA STILL ALIVE! She barely got that shoulder up! Jamie knows he was just that close too! He looks around and seems to be thinking up his next move! Jamie steps over to the corner! Now moving himself up to the top rope! Minerva is still down from the galactic buster! Jamie has her lined up! JAMIE LEAPS! GENKI CANNON!
Gavin Kirkland: NO! MINERVA ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY! JAMIE LANDS AND HAS TO SHOULDER ROLL TO STABILIZE HIMSELF! JAMIE BACK TO HIS FEET! HERE COMES MINERVA! SHES RUSHING IN WITH A CLOTHESLINE!
Deadprez: BUT JAMIE DUCKS! HE SHOVES MINERVA KNTO THE ROPES FROM THERE! SHE HITS THE ROPES AND TURNS AROUND! IN EXCELSIS! THE BICYCLE KNEE FROM JAMIE O’HARA RIGHT TO THE TEETH OF MINERVA! SHE FALLS BACK RIGHT INTO THE MIST SHE HERSELF SPIT ONTO THE MAT! JAMIE HAS THE COVER!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Gavin Kirkland: OH MY GOD! WHAT A MATCH! AND THE SEXY PERSON WON!
Deadprez: But I thought they were both—
Gavin Kirkland: DON’T OVERTHINK IT!
Gina Romano: Here is your winner… JAMIE O’HARA!!!!!
(Jamie stands to his feet and has his hand raised as he catches his breath and “Ultimate Battle” hits the speakers again. He slides out of the ring where he is greeted by Cameron. Constance has entered the ring and is on her knees checking on her partner, both belts set beside her.)
Deadprez: What a fight out up by Minerva against the man who is arguable the best to lace up a pair of boots. Jamie left with the win but I doubt he’s going to forget Minerva anytime soon!
Gavin Kirkland: I cant believe I got through this whole match without my Jerkins lotion! My own special brand that we support here at EAW by going to www.jer—
Deadprez: We got a real commercial, bozo.
(Commercial break featuring an ad for Gavin Kirkland’s “Jerkins” brand of Jergens lotion. Available now at the Jerkins website, or at the EAW Shop!)
(Showdown opens back up to the backstage hallway area, where Mr. DEDEDE is unlocking the door to his personal locker room. The Answers World Champion was on his way to the ring prior to his match tonight, however, he forgot his championship belt in the locker room. Silly Gawd.)
(As he walks into the locker room, both he and the arena watching along with us are surprised to see that Mr. DEDEDE’s locker room is covered entirely with bouqets of dozens and dozens of chamomiles, filling the room with a sweet and fruity aroma that the camera is somehow able to transmit through the television screens you all watch from at home. DEDEDE smiles to himself and chuckles aloud.)
Mr. DEDEDE: How sweet of her to think of me. But she should know that chamomiles aren’t my favorite flower–wait a minute…
(The glistening of the Answers World Championship belt catches his eye, dead in the center of several bouquets of chamomiles. Alongside the title belt is a small notecard, addressed “GAWD.” He tilts his head to one side and opens the note, reading aloud: )
“Gawdverbs amazing, incredible book, 11/10.
I am huge fan of Mr. DEDEDE, the Answers World Champion.
Mr. DEDEDE is truly the bae.
Book make me realize how much I need you in my life.
Chairman maybe fall in love with me instead, not sniveling, small, weak Kassidy Heart.
Gawd need strong woman to support him.
I send you my favorite flower to help Gawd to know me better.
This is first hint in figuring out who your secret admirer is.”
(Mr. DEDEDE crumples up the note and tosses it over his shoulder. He reaches for the Answers World Championship belt, knocking over a few bouquets of chamomiles in the process. He hoists the title over his shoulder and lets out an annoyed sigh.)
Mr. DEDEDE: How the hell did this idiot manage to read my book when they can’t even write a complete sentence in English? And if not Kassidy, why do they have access to my locker room? (Mr. DEDEDE rolls his eyes.) Fucking freaks, and Jenny can’t seem to do her job to keep them in check, can she? Must’ve forgotten what I did to the last woman who failed to keep control over her own brand…
(Mr. DEDEDE exits the locker room and slams the door behind him, the camera fading to black after focusing on the note that now lies on the floor.)
(Commercial break featuring an ad for the Voltage exclusive event, Bloodsport, coming live next week!)
( “Let It Go” by A$AP Ferg hits, and the whole stage glows in blinding Vegas gold lights with red flashes that ‘dance’ in fluctuating brightness upon the bass of the music. The Barclays Center gives a thunderous ovation as Mr. DEDEDE walks through the billowing smoke in his ring gear and signature trench coat, with the Answers World Championship around his waist. )
( DING! DING! DING! )
Gina Romano: The following contest is schedule for ONE FALL!!! And is your MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING! Introducing first, residing in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, weighing in at 227 POUUUNNNDSSSS!!!! HE IS THE EAW ANSWERS WOOORLD CHAMPIOOOON!!! MMIIIISTEEEEEEEERRRRRR DEEEEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Deadprez: Brooklyn is on its feet for The Gawd!
Gavin Kirkland: :noah: Another week and still no appearance of his voluptuous golden Gawdess of a wife! Perhaps there is trouble in paradise, Deadprez?! Kassidy better step it up now that the Gawd has found himself a secret admirer!
Deadprez: Not so sure it was ever paradise to start with…. let’s just say they still got a lotta kinks to work out. And that’s putting it mildly.
Gavin Kirkland: Well Kassidy Heart doesn’t quite so much strike me as the kinky type… she’s definitely the type you’d want to bend over backwards, but I often get the sense that girls like her, the fashion nova wearing instagram model type, are prone to being a tad bit lame in the sack. Nothing worse than a broad who lays there stiff as a board and gives you the soulless and toothy sucky sucky. I could be totally wrong about that however! Maybe I ought to ask DDD myself…
Deadprez: Not sure if you want to risk that breh. Look at this crowd though! With DDDs, I guess you could say, sinister behavior over the recent years you almost forget how popular the man really is. Brooklyn is giving The Gawd a lot of love here tonight even for his standards! It’s like bizarro world out here!
Gavin Kirkland: Well the wrestling world is still buzzing about that absolutely amazing ending to the fantastic Answers World Championship match between him and Ahren Fournier at Midsummer Massacre. That ending of course when he delivered an awe inspiring counter from the curb stomp, into the pop-up spear! We saw that finish replayed on ESPN and FS1 highlight reels for days! But switching gears to tonight, I say this with my physical well being at risk; DDD will not be able to sustain the same amount of punishment tonight as he did against Ahren at Midsummer Massacre. He is walking into this upcoming match with, perhaps for the first time in a long time, major disadvantages on multiple fronts!
( DDD is in the ring pacing back and forth as his music dies down. )
( “Old Town Road” (Remix) by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus plays. Lance Blackfyre steps out onto the stage, nodding his head and psyching himself up while most of the Brooklyn audience gives him heat. Some of the audience members appear to be utterly astonished by his size, gawking at Blackfyre and not knowing how to process his gargantuan physique as he approaches the ring. )
Gina Romano: And his opponent! Hailing from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 365 POOOUNNNDSSSSS!!! LLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNCEEE BLLLACCKKKFYRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Deadprez: I’ll die on that ledge with you Gavin, you are absolutely right. Let’s be forreal here for a minute, Lance Blackfyre isn’t a household name, he hasn’t been in EAW for a long time, and you wouldn’t expect someone with his experience (or lack of) to main event Showdown so quickly. But when you take ONE LOOK, just ONE LOOK at this man on his way to the ring right now, you start to understand clearly why he’s here.
Gavin Kirkland: Just a direct sucker punch from this guy could put you in the morgue. This fucker is just startlingly huge. He may not have been successful at Midsummer Massacre in the multi-person bout for a unique opportunity, but that says far more about the training and in ring acuity of Harlow Reichert than it does about whatever Lance Blackfyre lacks. A chokehold can take anybody of any size down, but I can just about guarantee The Land Leviathan is not going to allow that to happen for a 2nd time.
( DING! DING! DING! )
Deadprez: By no means is DEDEDE a small guy. Very seldom in his career has he had to look up at an opponent – yet Lance Blackfyre towers over him right now! As this thing kicks off, and the two of them walk right up to one another, sizing each other up.
Gavin Kirkland: It’s like freaking King Kong vs Gawdzilla! The two are exchanging words, you wouldn’t expect Blackfyre to back down from anybody ever in his life, but it still is certainly surreal to see somebody get in DDDs face like that. BLACKFYRE NOW COVERS DDDS FACE WITH HIS MASSIVE PALM! DDD firing away with shoot kicks to the legs! Each kick banging with a chilling sound, even Blackfyre can feel the sting of those! DDD swipes away the gigantic palm from his face, delivers a big right! Another one! And begins unloading with punches directly to the body! Ducks a swipe from Blackfyre, continues with the body shots, treating the torso of The Leviathan like a punching back! DDD drives himself into Blackfyre’s midsection to send him back pedaling into the ropes, and Blackfyre rebounds off of them into a JUMPING SHOULDER BLOCK BY DDD!!!! DOESN’T MOVE HIM!
Deadprez: DEDEDE scrambles back up, runs off the ropes, and goes for ANOTHER JUMPING SHOULDER BLOCK! BARELY PUSHES HIM BACK! DDD kips back up, rushes at Blackfyre and snatches the wrist real quickly, doing all he can now to send Blackfyre into the corner. Blackfyre with ease counters the Irish whip and sends DDD running and nearly crashing into the corner! DDD wisely hops over and outside onto the apron, landing soundly and safely on his feet! DDD jumps back into the ring through the ropes before sprinting back over to Blackfire and putting all he has into a JUMPING FOREARM SMASH!!! THAT ONE BRINGS LANCE BLACKFYRE STUMBLING DOWN! DDD rushes over to the other turnbuckle now, quickly climbing up top as Blackfyre pulls himself back up with ease… and DDD DIVES FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE, INTO A LEAPING SENTON NECKBREAKER!
Gavin Kirkland: CAUGHT IN MIDAIR!!! DDD HELD UP LIKE A DAMNED CHILD IN MIDAIR!! AND A WANTON THROW, JUST TOSSING THE TALL AND MUSCULAR FRAME OF THE ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION LIKE HE WERE A MERE BAG OF GARBAGE, AND DUMPING DDD ONTO HIS HEAD NEARLY ACROSS THE RING!!!
( DEDEDE rolls to the ropes, bewildered and stunned by what just happened. )
Gavin Kirkland: Have you ever seen that?!
Deadprez: DDD dragging himself up using the ropes – and is SENT TO THE OUTSIDE WITH A RUNNING CLOTHESLINE FROM BLACKFYRE! I’ve watched the man’s career since the mid 2000s Gavin. I’ve seen him go to wars with big men, whether it be HRDO, Scott Diamond or Hades the Hellraiser – and never have I ever seen DDD manhandled the way he just was! Blackfyre down to ringside, and reaches down with one hand to hoist him up by the nape of his neck like you would do a dog and sit DDD proper on the ring apron. Before battering away with multiple STIFF, BIG TIME punches into the midsection! DDD’s ribs took a lot of abuse at Midsummer Massacre, Lance clearly has that scouted. BIG headbutt from Blackfire has DDD collapsing on his side on the ring apron! The official calling for Lance to take this back into the ring, but Lance Blackfire instead drapes DDD on the apron, backs away a bit… and jogs forward to SLAM THE POINT OF HIS ELBOW INTO THE THROAT OF THE ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION! DDD SLIDES FROM THE APRON AND LANDS FOLDED UP AT RINGSIDE HOLDING HIS THROAT!
Gavin Kirkland: Blackfire drags DDD up again, and sends him back into the ring with a big beal before following him in slowly but surely! DDD scrambling, crawling away desperately while Blackfyre follows up…. looks like DDD’s trying to escape to our side of ringside, but Blackfyre quickly snatches the boot, and yanks him up to his feet by the back of his tights. DDD SENDS BACK SOME ELBOWS! A FEW HITTING THE MIDSECTION, AND ONE HITTING THE FACE! DDD DESPERATELY LEAPS ONTO BLACKFYRE FOR BEHIND, PERHAPS AIMING FOR THE SLEEPER HOLD! THE SAME MOVE THAT FINISHED HIM AT MIDSUMMER MASSACRE!
Deadprez: Not so fast! Blackfyre rears back and RIPS DDD off of his tail with a snapmare! Blackfire backs into the ropes! BIG BOOT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD WHILE DDD IS SEATED! That boot actually turned DDD inside out, and Blackfire drags DDD up quickly before slinging him into the ring and CATCHING HIM ACROSS THE JAW WITH A MORE EMPHATIC BIG BOOT! DDD HITS THE MAT FOLDED UP LIKE AN ACCORDION, AND BLACKFIRE MOUNTS OVER HIM FOR THE COVER!
Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOO-
Gavin Kirkland: DDD escaping that pin with a kickout. Brooklyn appears to be stunned by the display from Blackfyre, I don’t think it’s necessarily surprising that Blackfyre would be this imposing in any altercation, but simply put there are very few men on the face of the earth that are built the way he is! It’s like seeing a dinosaur, just an anomaly of nature! Everywhere he goes, all eyes are on him! DDD has made his way over to the corner holding his jaw, and Blackfyre has followed him closely, mushing DDDs face and his head into the turnbuckle corner with all of his strength, and forcing a count from the referee!
Ref: 1! 2! 3! 4!
Gavin Kirkland: Blackfyre relents, before charging back at DDD with a KNEE TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD!!! HOLY HELL I’M SURPRISED THAT DIDN’T LEAVE A GIGANTIC CRATER!!!
Deadprez: Blackfyre hoists DDD up to his feet and leans him back against the turnbuckle… before turning to the crowd….
Lance Blackfyre: Shhhh…..
Deadprez: THUNDEROUS CHOP TO THE CHEST!!! RINGING LOUD ACROSS THE BARCLAYS CENTER!!! DDD stumbles out of the corner holding his chest, and steps through the ropes, hoping to escape, but Blackfyre runs after him and keeps him stranded on the apron! Leaning him back and trapping both arms behind the ropes!!! AND BLACKFYRE SMASHES HIS FIRST INTO THE CHEST OVER AND OVER, AS THE AUDIENCE COUNTS ALONG WITH EVERY BLOW!
Crowd: 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10!
( Lance Blackfyre relents at the behest of the referee. DDD is a hair away from falling off the apron. Blackfyre runs the ropes, and stampedes back over to DDD. )
Deadprez: THUMB TO THE EYE! DDD WITH A JUMPING THUMB TO THE EYE SOCKET TO STOP BLACKFYRE IN HIS RACKS! Now The AWC rushes to the turnbuckle and climbs back up to the high rent district yet again, just looking for something, anything at this point. OHHHH!!!!!!! BLACKFYRE WITH A DEADLY CHOP!!!!!! USING GODDAMN UNGODLY FORCE, WITH THE SOUND OF I RINGING THROUGH THE ENTIRE BUILDING, AND SENDING DDD TUMBLING FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE DOWN TO RINGSIDE! THE BACK OF HIS HEAD HITTING THE APRON HARD ON THE WAY DOWN! GOD DAMN DOG!
Gavin Kirkland: SWEET MERCY THAT COULD HAVE PERMANENTLY CAVED HIS CHEST IN! HOW DID THAT NOT STOP HIS HEART?! RUPTURE HIS STERNUM?! SOMETHING?!
Deadprez: Well DDD is about as resilient as it is ever going to get in this sport, he’s been through a lot and pushed through some impossible situations before. But the jury ain’t out on him tonight, he’s rolling around the ringside floor in a bad, bad way. Blackfyre taking some time to flex and show off for the audience, and the official is beginning the count at “1”.
Ref: 2!!!! ………….. 3!!!! ………………………. 4!!!! …………………….. 5!!!!………………..
Gavin Kirkland: Not much movement from DDD, the AWC is down on all fours. DDD must be contemplating whether it’s even worth getting back in the ring, and I don’t blame him! If I were EVER hit with a blow like that, and somehow survived it, you’d best believe I’d have every intention of changing careers following something like that! The refere’s count now at “eight”, and DEDEDE drags himself up to his feet and rolls back into the ring, just breaking the “nine” count. DDD sits there holding his sternum, ugh just disgusting looking welts beginning to form on his chest area as a result of the punishment. Now Blackfyre hoists The Gawd up by his head! DDD using both hands to try and pry away Blackfyre’s grip of his head by the wrist, but Blackfyre clubs multiple blows into the midsection!!! Snatches him by the throat!!!! MASSIVE BEAL!!! SENDING A 6’5, NEARLY 220 POUND MAN CLEAR ACROSS THE RING, FROM PILLAR TO POST!!! DDD LANDING HORRIBLY ON THE BACK OF HIS NECK, MOMENTUM AND MOMENTUM ALONE TAKING HIM UP TO HIS FEET AND LEANING ACROSS THE TURNBUCKLE! BLACKFYRE CHARGES ACROSS THE RING! RUNNING HEADBUTT!!! DDDS EYES LOOK LIKE THEY’VE ROLLED INTO THE BACK OF HIS SKULL, BLACKFIRE PICKS HIM UP, CHARGES OUT OF THE CORNER WITH HIM HELD! AND DRILLS HIM INTO THE CANVAS WITH A RUNNING SIDEWALK SLAM! HOOK OF BOTH LEGS NOW!
Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Deadprez: KICK OUT BY THE CHAMP! The Gawd still in this, and of course you can never count DDD out until the bell rings and the other guy’s music hits, but you’ve got to ask yourself exactly how much more DDD can TAKE, AS BLACKFIRE REBOUNDS OFF THE ROPES AND LANDS A LEG DROP OVER THE WINDPIPE! Blackfyre turns over, stands over him, holding a gigantic paw over his chest as a nonchalaunt pin cover. But just as the referee slides to the mat, Blackfyre HOISTS DDD UP FROM THE MAT WITH ONE ARM, DEADLIFTING HIM WITH ONE ARM!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!! TITANIC PLUNGE!!!!!! ONE HANDED CHOKESLAM, SLAMMING THE ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION WITH ABSOLUTELY NO MERCY! ANOTHER COVER!
Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Gavin Kirkland: NOT YET! DDD continues to show some life! Blackfyre does nothing but smile. I’m a bit surprised by that. Patience is not exactly an expected virtue coming from a fella as mean and as nasty as he is. Blackfyre nonetheless is back up, and stomps around the ring pacing, almost as if it’s his way of thinking. DDD barely stirring, you can see the effort that it takes behind moving every muscle, but Blackfyre is right back on his case, hoisting him back up – THIS TIME HIGH ABOVE HIS HEAD, FOR THE MILITARY PRESS SLAM??? DDD TRYING TO FIGHT OUT OF IT, TRYING TO SQUIRM AND SHAKE TO MAKE IT AS DIFFICULT AS HE CAN FOR BLACKFYRE TO SLAM HIM… BUT BLACKFYRE INSTEAD TOSSES HIM WITH THE MILITARY PRESS THROW, SENDING DDD RIBS FIRST INTO THE ROPES! DDD bounces off of the ropes and back to the floor holding his midsection in pain, and Blackfyre brings him up and into his arms with a BEAR HUG! SQUEEZING THE LIFE OUT OF THE ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION, EXERTING ALL OF HIS STRENGTH INTO CRUNCHING DDDS BODY, HIS RIBS, HIS INTERNAL ORGANS, INTO A MASHED UP MESS USING HIS OWN STRENGTH! DDDS CHEST, HIS RIBS, AND HIS LUNGS HAVE ALREADY INCURRED SERIOUS DAMAGE – AND JUST IMAGINE A 365 POUND MAN OF SOLID MUSCLE USING EVERY OUNCE OF HIS POWER TO SUCK THE REMAINING LIFE OUT OF YOU? AT WHAT POINT DOES DDD GIVE IN?
Deadprez: I don’t know if it’ll be left to his decision Gavin! DDD is losing more and more life by the second! The referee is keeping a watchful eye here, it’s starting to look like DDD is slowly slipping, slowly fading out of consciousness! The referee grabs ahold of one of DDDs wrists, lifting the arm….. before allowing the limp arm to drop.
Deadprez: The official picks the wrist back up, lifting up the arm again… before releasing! The arm drops lifelessly yet again!
Gavin Kirkland: Not a good sign, not good whatsoever! The official lifts DDDs arm by the wrist for the third time, on the third occasion, before letting it go! This could be it-
Deadprez: DDD BASHES A FIST INTO SIDE OF BLACKFYRE’S HEAD! ANOTHER BLOW! Blackfyre ain’t having it! He tosses DDD left and right, maintaining and even tightening that bear hug while looking to disorient The Gawd! DDD reverts to a CHOP TO THE SIDE OF THE NECK NOW! ANOTHER CHOP! THAT ONE HURT! DDD HAMMERING AWAY BLOWS TO THE MASSIVE, THICK OL’ NECK OF BLACKFYRE! PAUSE! AND DDD FREES HIMSELF WITH A BLOW TO THE ORBITAL SOCKET! DDD drops down to his knees after being released! Blackfyre comes right back for DDD and SMASHES HIM WITH THE OMEN OF DOOMSDAY ACROSS THE TEMPLE!!!! SUPERMAN PUNCH BRINGS DDD DOWN TO THE MAT SLUMPED OVER!!! HE’S FINISHED! THAT’S GOT TO BE IT! NONCHALANT COVER FROM BLACKFYRE!
Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-
Gavin Kirkland: NO! AGAIN MR. DEDEDE WITH ANOTHER KICK OUT! The monstrous Lance Blackfyre making more than an impression tonight in the main event of Showdown, it has been a ghastly display of brute strength! Imposing his will over arguably the greatest wrestler to ever live, in dominant fashion! DDD meanwhile has been in dire straits for just about the entire match! It’s like he’s been lost at sea – and he’s in the sights of THE MEGALODON RIGHT NOW! BLACKFYRE IS BACK UP, INTENSITY IN HIS EXPRESSION, AS HE RIPS HIS TANK TOP CLEAN OFF OF HIS BODY, LOOKING FIRED UP! Blackfyre rips The Gawd up from the floor, and HOISTS HIM ONTO HIS SHOULDER! LOOKING FOR THE RUNNING POWERSLAM!!!
Deadprez: DDD RAKES THE EYES YET AGAIN, AND SLIDES DOWN BLACKFYRE’S BACK, AND SENDING HIM INTO THE REFEREE WITH A SHOVE! DDD USES LANCE BLACKFYRE’S MOMENTUM AGAINST HIM, AND THAT JUST SENT THE LEVIATHAN CRASHING INTO THE OFFICIAL! WIPING HIM OUT!
Gavin Kirkland: LOW BLOW!!!! FROM BEHIND!!! DDD WITH A FULL FORCE SHOT TO THE NUTS! THAT’S STUNNED HIM! BUT BLACKFYRE TURNS TOWARDS DDD WITH A SCOWL! ANOTHER KICK TO THE NUTS!!! FOR FUCKS SAKES YOU COULD HEAR LANCE BLACKFYRE’S NUTS CLAP FROM THE SOUND OF THAT BOOT!!!! DDD RUNS TO THE ROPES IN FRONT OF BLACKFYRE, CAREENS OFF OF THEM! SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
Deadprez: BLACKFYRE HITS THE DECK FOLLOWING THE SPEAR! BUT SOMEHOW HE’S GETTING BACK UP! BLACKFYRE IN A TON OF PAIN, AFTER HAVING HIS JEWELS JACKED, BUT HE’S STILL MOBILE! DDD CHARGES AT BLACKFYRE AGAIN! ANOTHER SPEAR!!!!!!!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: DDD JUST DELIVERED TWO SPEARS ON LANCE BLACKFYRE IN A ROW, IN ADDITION TO THE LOW BLOW! DDD DRAGS BLACKFYRE UP FROM THE FLOOR WITH EVERY BIT OF HIS POWER! BLACKFYRE IS BARELY MOVABLE, HE’S REELING HELLA BADLY, AND NOW DDD SPRINTS TO THE ROPES BEHIND BLACKFYRE, REBOUNDS OFF OF THEM, RUNS THE ROPES AGAIN, GAINING MOMENTUM, GAINING MOMENTUM, THIRD SPEAR!!!!!!!!! THIRD!!!!! SPEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKING BLACKFYRE DOWN HARD! AND THE BIGGER THEY ARE, THE HARDER THEY FALL!
Deadprez: DEDEDE ON HIS KNEES, PANTING, SWEATING PROFUSELY, BODY MARKED UP FROM THE WRATH OF THE LEVIATHAN! AND DDD DRAGS BLACKFYRE WITH DESPERATE, LAST GASP HEAVES, CLOSER TO THE TURNBUCKLE… BUT BLACKFYRE IS ALREADY STARTING TO RISE! YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS! THIS MAN WAS JUST HIT WITH THREE SPEARS IN A ROW, AND HE’S ALREADY STARTING TO SHOW LIFE!
Gavin Kirkland: DEDEDE is besides himself! He is past running on fumes at this point, he is basically coasting down the hill! His reserves have been tapped, but he’s mentally preparing himself for Blackfyre to return to his feet! Just as Blackfyre is up to one knee actually, DDD REELS HIM IN!!!! COULD HE BE GOING FOR IT???
Deadprez: HE IS!!!! GRAND SLAM!!!!!! GRAND SLAM!!!!!!!!!! DDD MANAGES TO TAKE LANCE BLACKFYRE DOWN WITH THE GRAND SLAM, JUST BARELY GETTING THE BEHEMOTH OFF OF THE GROUND, BUT IT TOOK EVERYTHING HE HAD IN HIS POWER AND THEN SOME TO DELIVER THAT! WHAT’S HE GONNA DO NOW?
Gavin Kirkland: Mr. DEDEDE pushing through searing pain, injury and utter exhaustion now, as he steps out to the apron again and makes the climb up to the top turnbuckle! Lance Blackfyre is in his sights! And through sheer will power and determination, The Gawd has made it to the top turnbuckle! Standing high above the ring!!!! THERE IT IS!!!!!!!! NOOOORTHHH STAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!! SHOOTING STAR PRESS, DELIVERED FLAWLESSLY INTO LANCE BLACKFYRE!!!! THAT MAY HAVE KNOCKED THE WIND OUT OF DDD HIMSELF! DEDEDE TOSSING AROUND FAVORING HIS MIDSECTION IN A WORLD OF PAIN, AND THE OFFICIAL IS DAZED BUT BACK IN COMMISSION – JUST BARELY! DDD CLAWING OVER TO LANCE BLACKFYRE, TO REST ATOP OF HIM WITH A DESPERATE HOOK OF A LEG!
( DING! DING! DING! )
( “Let It Go” by A$AP Ferg hits, and Mr. DEDEDE rolls off of Lance Blackfyre holding his ribs in pain. )
Gina Romano: Here is your winner… MMMMISTEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR DEEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Gavin Kirkland: WOW. When was the last time Mr. DEDEDE had to stoop to these levels just to secure a victory Deadprez?!
Deadprez: There is no questioning the amount of skill that DDD possesses, so to see him have to resort to desperate measures is goddamn surreal! DDD had to throw everything including the kitchen sink at this monster in order to just escape this match by the skin of his teeth! I don’t even know if I’d call most of what we saw a “match”! 90% of this was a straight up asswhooping, a one sided beatdown, DDD looked defenseless out there for most of it. Hell he looks defenseless now!
Gavin Kirkland: But he survived the Omen of Destruction, by hook or by crook.
( Replays of the match that took place are shown, showing various brutal moments and ruthless displays of power from Lance Blackfyre. It then shows DDD capitalizing with two low blows following the referee bump, and it also shows DDD needing to deliver five of his finishing maneuvers in a row to put Lance Blackfyre away. Return to the ring – Mr. DEDEDE is helped up to his feet by the official, who hands him the Answers World Championship title belt. DDD drops to a knee without the referee’s support, continuing to breathe heavily while favoring his ribs. )
Gavin Kirkland: This crowd started out hot on DDD’s side, but Lance Blackfyre made more and more believers here in the Barclays Center as this contest went on. DDD looks like he just went through a flaming car crash! Just a testament to the ungodly force of nature that is The Land Leviathan! And look at that!!! Lance is back up!!! :damn:
( DEDEDE rolls out of the ring and sluggishly heads for the ramp, and Lance Blackfyre is already back on his feet, staring DDD down albeit being weary from battle himself. )
Deadprez: Inhuman. It actually looks like he’s still spoiling for a fight. :dahell:
Gavin Kirkland: Just horrifying. People like Lance should not be allowed to exist :lupe:
Deadprez: I’m scared shitless when I think about what that man is capable of. But I’m taking us off the air before we get a chance to find out. :dame: Until next week–signing off for Gavin Kirkland, I’m Deadprez. Goodnight everybody!
(The last shot of is Lance Blackfyre fuming in the middle of the ring, spit spraying from either side of his mouth as he shouts a slew of curses at the chairman’s direction.)
(EAW logo buzzes.)