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Showdown 8/17/2019

(EAW logo appears.)

(RECAP: Highlights of Last week’s episode of Showdown are seen. It begins with Cameron Ella Ava opening the show and saying that she has her signs on the Universal Women’s World Championship. She gives the champion two weeks to answer her challenge. It transitions to the Bozo Victims Unit segment featuring Ahren Fournier. It highlights their unfair treatment on Showdown and the lack of respect that their fellow Elitists show them. Ahren begins to see Chris eye-to-eye. It transitions next to Jenny Cien and her match with Ryan Wilson with her getting the victory. It goes to backstage where Kensingten Calhon-Astor having interrupts Jenny’s interview with Kyra Phillips. It’s obvious that the tension of these two women is increasing. It concludes with Jenny hitting Kensingten with the baseball bat and leaving her down.

It transitions to Harlow Reichert and her dinner at the Olive Garden with HRDO. Harlow expresses her anger at this special opportunity. A French Waiter comes and it is revealed to be Mark Michaels. He hits DRDO with a wine bottle, knocking him out. Harlow launches herself at Mark, but Mark hits another wine bottle on her skull and knocks her out. Later in the night, Mark takes on Xander Payne as a hooded figure holds Mark by his boot and prevents him from connecting with Downfall. This allows Xander to get the victory. It transitions to Mr. DEDEDE backstage as he receives another present for his secret admirer – which happen to be pictures of her feet, which peaks Mr. DEDEDE’s interest.

It transitions to Jamie O’Hara and Jenny Punk as it is announced that Jamie would be the captain of Team Showdown at Territorial Invasion. Jamie doesn’t seem to be keen on picking two partners, but he assures Jenny that he picked the right man to lead Showdown to victory. It goes to the main event with The Visual Prophet and Lucas Johnson. Lucas relying on Albert Hitchman whenever necessary. It goes to the closing part of the match with Albert on the apron, but Viz connects with a Kiss to the Head. Lucas looks to take advantage of the distractio, but Viz puts his foot on the rope. Lucas goes for the Red Arrow, but Viz moves out of the way. Lucas gets himself on his feet, but Viz connects with a Kiss to the Head to get the victory. The last part is Viz celebrating in the ring.)

(“DNA” by Kendrick Lamar plays, cueing the beginning of Saturday Night Showdown. As the song continues to play, it pans to the see of EAW fans cheering and raising their posters up in The Dunkin Donuts Center.)

(SCREEN BAR ON THE TOP LEFT CORNER OF THE SCREEN: PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND.)

(“DNA” continues to play as the cameras get a great look of the EAW fans cheering and raising their posters up. It goes to the announcer’s table with Deadprez and Gavin Kirkland smiling and feeling hyped about tonight’s show.)

Deadprez: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Saturday Night Showdown! Live from the Dunkin Donuts Center in Providence, Rhode Island, I am Deadprez! Alongside with me is the very outspoken and non-filtered, Gavin Kirkland!

Gavin Kirkland: Xander Payne must be upset that this show isn’t taking place on an actual Dunkin Donuts, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t got a great show tonight, Deadprez! Tonight, we have the debut of the alliance between Chris Elite and Ahren Fournier as they take on The Mechanical Animals! Defeating this team could place Chris and Ahren on a good path of getting those Tag Team Titles and getting that Triple Crown Status!

Deadprez: Not only that, Gavin! We also have our massive main event as The Ace, Jamie O’Hara, takes on a man who managed to take the Answers World Champion, Mr. DEDEDE to his limit a few weeks ago, Lance Blackfyre!

Gavin Kirkland: It’s also in a Steel Cage Match! This seems like an Omen of Destruction’s backyard. I’m scared for my baby boy Jamie tonight. :lupe: Right now, we are going to hear from the Answers World Champion himself, The Gawd, Professional Wrestling’s Allah, our lord and savior, Mr. DEDEDE!

Deadprez: Did he make you say all of that?

Gavin Kirkland: No comment. :lupe:

(The camera transitions to the ring, where “You’re My Latest, Greatest Inspiration” by Teddy Pendergrass can be heard in the overhead sound system. The ring has been completely made over with a king sized mattress, carpeted floors, two night stands littered with sex toys. We see two nooses dangling from the ceiling, small enough to fit a pair of arms in. Handcuffs are also hanging from the ring ropes, along with a whip wrapped around the ropes right alongside it. The mood of the arena is dim, candles are burning, and a vanity mirror leans on one of the turnbuckles. The set up is clearly designed for love making, with options for a powerful and dominant man to have his way with a submissive secret admirer any way he pleases. )

( “Let It Go” by A$AP Ferg hits, and Mr. DEDEDE walks out wearing his “Arab Money Green” Gawdzilla Pro tracksuit, with the Answers World Championship around his waist. DDD looks amused by the set up in the ring. DDD continues his entrance all the way into the ring, with a big reaction from the sold out Dunkin Donuts Center. Upon entering, DDD picks up the whip from the ring ropes and climbs to the top turnbuckle. He playfully cracks the whip at the audience, telling them to bow down before raising his signature corna hand taunt. DDD descends from the top rope and scans the environment. Once his music dies down, the mood lighting returns, and DDD scratches the back of his head still amused. )

Mr. DEDEDE: For weeks I have had a mysterious woman with pretty feet and horrible english move heaven and earth to try and get my attention. This mystery woman out of the millions who adore me, apparently had enough inside connections to orchestrate a meeting on my show, in my company, on nationally syndicated television – without leaving so much as a trace back to her identity. Now my sense of intuition is immaculate, better than anybody you know, I guarantee it. I can literally tell what somebody’s thinking before I can even see their face. I bore easily in conversations because I already know what people are going to say before they say it. My ESP is so effective, I can communicate telepathically and transmutate fear into the heart of my enemies.

The only reason why I’m still in the dark about who my secret admirer is is very simple: I don’t care. I’m married to an 11 out of 10. Gorgeous brilliant and all-powerful. She acknowledges if not through her words then through her actions exactly who her DaddyGawd is. Haven’t gotten the pussy yet though but you know what that’s OK. I’ve spent a lifetime in the pussy I can live a month or two without it. Besides rumor has it on Twitter that the black delegation has traded Jay-Z over to #TeamWhites this week in exchange for me. So as the newest member of the black community I find it important to follow the ever important credo of #BlackMenDontCheat.

( DEDEDE receives a round of applause for his virtue and his character. )

Mr. DEDEDE: See just a year ago I would have invited my secret admirer out here to put my dick in her spine in front of all of you and your disgusting children. (pats the surface of the AWC around his waist) But this Answers World Title, I believe it’s changed me. It’s shifted my priorities. I’ve become more about family, about honor, about long term goals and long standing principles. Life isn’t only about wanton sex and self indulgence. It’s about building, conquering, creating something bigger. That being said, I’m a man of my word –

Crowd: :usure:

Mr. DEDEDE: :ufdup: …… AS I WAS SAYING, I’m a man of my word, and I agreed to come out here and meet my secret admirer face to face. Well, Gawd’s here, you may approach the man of your dreams.

( DDD holds his arms open and looks toward the stage, waiting for his secret admirer. )

( “Another One Bites The Dust” by Queen hits, prompting the crowd to react in shock. )

Mr. DEDEDE: :dahell:

( Nina Dobrev, the assistant of Visual Prophet, walks out to the stage wearing a tiny red sleeveless skater dress and a set of thigh high leather boots. She struts her way down the ramp, and DDD is in the ring dying of laughter, leaning over the ring ropes and clapping it up. Nina enters the ring looking the best she’s ever looked, blowing a kiss to the audience from her juicy red lips. Soon, classic soul mood music replaces the Queen song, continually playing in the distant background. Nina stands across from DDD with a microphone in hand, showing herself off )

Nina Dobrev: You like, Gawd? I do all for you.

Mr. DEDEDE: So you’re the culprit behind this unsolved mystery all along huh? Not gonna lie this is a lot to take in. Let me ask you, dear, you do realize that there are countless women who are just like you. Women who pray for the chance to be noticed by senpai. As audacious as your efforts are, what makes you believe that you deserve a piece of me?

Nina Dobrev: Because, I go extra mile for my king. I know music you make love to, I know all fragrance you admire. I follow all your moves, since I was teenage girl. I know all you like, and I hope I’ve pleased you, Gawd.

Mr. DEDEDE: You know, somehow you come off as convincing. You’ve definitely gone above and beyond haven’t you? I’d even venture to say that I’m impressed… or at least I would be, if you weren’t some shitty action figure version of Kassidy Heart.

Nina Dobrev: (giggles) Silly Gawd. You play hard to get. You are man of great power. I know it is not easy to impress you. But Kassidy is little girl. I am full, full woman.

Mr. DEDEDE: “Full woman.” Sounds like the cougars in my DMs replying to insta stories of me on the beach, frolicking with supermodels half their age.

Nina Dobrev: No cougar. I am naughty, naughty sex kitten. I prove, if you wish.

Mr. DEDEDE: Oh, you will?

( Nina slowly lowers the straps to her dress. DDD looks around at the crowd with a smirk. Nina unzips the back of her dress – and it slides to the floor, revealing her lingerie bra and panties beneath it. The lingerie top barely contains her Size D breasts nearly busting out, and the men in the audience howl and blow wolf whistles as she shows off her voluptuous curves. )

Gavin Kirkland (on commentary): HHNNNNNGGGG

Deadprez (on commentary): GAVIN WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING UNDER THE TABLE :dahell:

Mr. DEDEDE: :notbad: OK OK. Come on then, let’s see what else you got.

Nina Dobrev: Take seat.

( Nina Dobrev pulls up the stool, and DDD obliges, still more amused than turned on. Nina slowly begins to unlace one of her thigh high boots, and pulls out a perfectly manicured foot. The flexible Nina slowly lifts her foot, grazing the torso of DDD’s tracksuit, before wiggling her well painted toes in his face. Nina starts with the other boot, slowly unlacing it and revealing her other foot. She sits down at the foot of the king sized mattress, posing seductively. )

Nina Dobrev: Come, Gawd.

( DDD shrugs his shoulders and stands up from his stool. He slowly approaches Nina, and Nina pulls forward a bowl containing hot wax and a ladle inside of it. )

Nina Dobrev: I know one of favorite fetish of yours is wax play.

( DDD looks down at the bowl of wax, biting his lip, taken over by lust. )

Mr. DEDEDE: It is. I only talk about in Gawdverbs, now available on audio format Audible and Amazon prime.

Nina Dobrev: I read every single page. It is fetish we share.

Mr. DEDEDE: Oh yeah?

( Nina nods, and hands DDD the container of hot wax. )

Nina Dobrev: Please. Have your way with me, Gawd.

( DDD looks down at the steaming hot bowl of wax in his hands, and then looks at Nina with a lascivious gaze. )

Mr. DEDEDE: Alright. Lay down. Spread all the way out.

( Nina Dobrev scoots back on the bed and sprawls out on her back. DDD takes some time to survey her body, seeming to wonder where he should place the hot wax. Nina is visibly turned on, her nipples poking through her lingerie bra, and her toes curl up. She is shivering in excitement. )

Mr. DEDEDE: Close your eyes.

( Nina happily closes her eyes. DDD stirs the ladle in the steaming hot bowl of wax, and slowly removes it before dropping it to the floor. He lifts the bowl of hot wax high above his head, standing over an unsuspecting Nina Dobrev. )

Gavin Kirkland: OH MY GOD!!! :damn:

( DEDEDE pours the ENTIRE bowl of hot wax in Nina’s face. She jumps up screaming, rolling around frantically. )

Nina Dobrev: IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS!!! HELP ME!!! HELP!!!!

( A cackling DDD sets the bowl down on the bed, and Nina is on the floor on her knees trying to rub wax out of her eyes. )

Mr. DEDEDE Oh fuck this is so hot! :drool: You like that baby??

( DDD takes the bowl again, and laughs as he chucks the remaining burning hot wax into Nina’s exposed back, causing her to scream at the top of her lungs and toss around the floor in agony. )

Deadprez: JESUS CHRIST THIS POOR WOMAN HAS HAD A GALLON OF HOT WAX POURED ALL OVER HER! WE NEEDA GET SOME HELP OUT HERE!

( The audience boos DDD for his remorseless actions, and DDD leans back against the ropes cackling up a storm. The crowd chants “YOU SUCK!” at DDD, while members of the backstage crew rush out to Nina with towels and cold water. They do everything they can in their power to hold her down enough to wipe the wax off of her body and out of her eyes. )

Gavin Kirkland: That was sadistic! I still have marks from the last time I’ve done wax play, and those were just from Yankee candles! This is heinous even for DDDs standards. Poor Nina. :mjcry:

( DDD shrugs his shoulders and exits the ring, taking his Answers World Championship along with him. He walks up the ramp ignoring the ire of the audience. We get a replay, showing slow motion footage of DDD pouring an entire gallon of hot wax into Nina Dobrev’s face – with some of it getting into her nose, and leaking into her eyes. Reactions of horror from people in the audience are also shown upon the moment of DDDs horrific gag. )

( At ringside, Nina D is being held up by multiple officials, and is sobbing uncontrollably while being escorted through the time keeper area out of the arena as quickly as possible. )

(Commercial for Gawdzilla Pro© Luxury Tracksuits. It may cost you your life savings, but it’s worth it!)

(Showdown returns with Gavin Kirkland and Deadprez at the commentator’s table. Both have a silent and disturbed look on their faces. They couldn’t believe what happened to Nina D.)

Deadprez: Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Showdown! Before the commercial break, Answers World Champion, Mr. DEDEDE was in the ring as he wanted to meet his secret admirer, which was revealed to be Nina D. But, it took a tragic turn.

Gavin Kirkland: Poor Nina. She should have known that #BlackMenDontCheat. If we get any updates on her condition, we’ll make sure you let everyone know that. But, we have let’s go to Gina Romano in the ring as we head to the opening match of the night!

(Gina Romano is standing in the center of the ring with a smile on her face.)

Gina Romano: The opening contest of Showdown is scheduled FOR ONE FALL!

Crowd: ONE FALL!

Gina Romano: Introducing first, hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada! Weighing in at 225 Pounds! “THE KING OF SUPLEXES” VIKTOR STONE!

(The fans quiet down in the arena as the lights go dim. Smoke slowly rises from the entrance. A rain like mist floats through the arena as the opening guitar riff of Filter’s “Hey Man nice Shot” blares through the speakers.)

“I wish I would’ve met you
Now it’s a little late
What you could’ve taught me
I could have saved some face
They think that your early ending
Was all wrong
For the most part they’re right
But look how they all got strong”

(Pyros explodes and out walks Viktor Stone. Stone’s fist and forearms are covered in white tape. Frost stands in the middle of the pyros going off around him. He slowly makes his way down to the ring. Viktor steps up onto the ring apron and hops over the top rope.)

“That’s why I say hey man, nice shot
What a good shot man
A man
Has gun
Hey man
Have fun
Nice shot”

(The fans go wild as Stone paces around the ring.)

Deadprez: We are here with our first match of the night and Viktor was impressive last week in a tag match against the Mechanical Animals, this is one tough and talented kid.

Gavin Kirkland: He is and do we have some matches tonight, Minerva is wrestling, my Goth Queen! Some tag team action and the sexy Jamie O’Hara takes on the man who teamed with Stone last week, Lance Blackfyre in our main event, what a show and what a way to kick it off, she is coming, Prez!

Deadprez: “Who?”

Gavin Kirkland: Jenny From the Block!

(Viktor in the ring settles into the corner and waits for the match to get started as the music dies down.)

Gina Romano: And his opponent, from Philadelphia, PA.! Weighing in at 142 pounds, she is “The Baddie” JENNY CIEN!”

(“Jenny From The Block (Track Masters Remix)’ by Jennifer Lopez, Jadakiss, and Styles P as the lights dim and Jenny Cien slowly walks out to the beats. Viktor look on unimpressed as she makes her way toward the ring, stopping and looking at the crowd before rolling her eyes and shaking her head to some while high fiving her supporters. She gets to the apron and slides ride in, climbing to the second rope and jaw jacking with the crowd to a chorus of cheers and boos from the Providence faithful.)

Gavin Kirkland: Mamacita, Deadprez! Here she is and in all her glory! Look at her, my Puerto Rican Queen!

Deadprez: Not only is she a stunner, she is also one bad gal, they call her the “Baddie” for a reason and Viktor Stone better be ready for this, this girl is on fiyah!

(Jenny drops and turns to the referee who tries to check her, but she threatens him to back off. After a few moments she finally lifts her legs, he checks and she is ready to get the match on with Viktor as they await the bell, he calls for it…)

(DING! DING! DING!)

Deadprez: Here we go, both wrestlers super aggressive in their styles, they are not above cheating and Jenny may have the center of gravity, she is quite short and can move like a cat. They lock up, NO! Jenny with an eye poke already, she swings back on Stone with a School Boy for the quick cover!

ONE!

TWO!!!

Gavin Kirkland: Viktor quickly kicks out, this match was almost over in record time! Jenny is teeing off on him, she continues her barrage of kicks on Stone, not allowing him to get up! Jenny now with a La Magistral Cradle for the cover!

ONE!

TWO!!!

Gavin Kirkland: Stone kicks out again! He is on his heels, Deadprez and the Puerto Rican Spitfire is all over him like Beans on Rice! Come on Mamacita! How aggressive is she! We have seen Jenny so successful with this tactic, I wonder how she is in bed?

Deadprez: Why don’t you ask her, playa.

Gavin Kirkland: Well, I just might! Stone is back on his feet, Jenny runs against the ropes with a Cross Body but Stone catches her in midair! This could be trouble for Jenny! He adjusts her ad lands a Spinebuster! What a devastating move! Not my Jenny!

Deadprez: Jenny planted hard on the mat, but Stone is not going for a pinfall, he picks up Jenny by the hair and starts unloading with vicious Jui Jitsu kicks! The smack can be heard throughout the arena!

(The Crowd Cheers and “Woo’s” some….)

Gavin Kirkland: Jenny is some serious trouble and a ROUNDHOUSE THAT CONNECTS TO JENNY’S JAW! SHE IS DROPPED LIKE A SACK OF ARROZ!

Deadrez: JENNY MAY BE OUT COLD! SHE ISN’T MOVING! THE REFEREE IS DOWN WITH THE COVER AS VIKTOR HOOKS THE LEG!

ONE!

TWO!!!!
THRE…..

Dreadprez: SHOULDER UP! JENNY GETS HER SHOULDER UP! THAT WAS PURE INSTINCT!

Gavin Kirkland: It was heart! Desire! And Boricua Heat! Jenny isn’t going down like that Deadprez and while Viktor may have the upper hand right now, my Mamacita is going to pull through! Viktor picks up Jenny by the hair, hey watch it with her hair! He scoops her up with a slam! That was hard, bouncing off the ropes with a vicious leg drop, he is not going for the cover though, instead he is picking up Jenny again, whipping her to the corner turnbuckle and rushing in! Wait, Jenny gets her boot up! Stone stumbles back, SHE RUNS AT HIM WITH A LOU THEZS PRESS! JENNY SI PUNCHING STONE! SHE IS BEATING HIM LIKE HE STOLE HER LUNCH MONEY!

Deadprez: Jenny is hot tonight!

Gavin Kirkland: Yeah, she is!

Deadprez: I meant in the ring!

Gavin Kirkland: Well, that too!

Deadprez: Jenny rolls off Stone, looks like she is trying to set him up, he gets to his feet and Facebuster! Stone is down and Jenny FINISHES WITH A STANDING MOONSAULT! IT WAS A THING OF BEAUTY AND SHE HOOKS THE LEG FOR THE COVER! COUNT EM REF!

ONE!

TWO!!!

THREE……

Deadprez: NO! KICK OUT BY STONE! HE WAS ABLE TO GET HIS SHOUDLER UP JUST IN TIME! What a combination of moves and Jenny is all over Viktor, she is not allowing the striker to get a distance or a chance to get his arsenal going as he is extremely dangerous with those kicks as we saw earlier!

Gavin Kirkland: They are both brawlers in different styles and something has to give! But mamacita is playing it right, she is aggressive and showing why she is the Baddie! Jenny keeps kicking Viktor while on the mat, she is not allowing him to get to his feet but he grabs her boot and tosses her back! The force almost flipped Jenny over and she landed on her head! Viktor is up, he grabs Jenny…. THE VIOLENT PARTY! JENNY CRUMBLES TO THE MAT! VIKTOR FOLLOWS WITH A GUILLOTINE LEG DROP! HE SCREAMS FOR THE REFEREE TO MAKE THE COUNT!

ONE!

TWO!!!
THREE…..

Deadprez: JENNY WITH HER SHOULDER UP AGAIN AND LOOK AT VIKTOR! HE IS LOOKING AT THE REFEREE WITH THREE FINGERS, BUDDY SHOWED HIM TWO! JENNY BARELY ESCAPED BUT HOW MANY MORE KICKS CAN SHE TAKE!?

(The crowd oh’s and ah’s)

Gavin Kirkland: She is one tough Tostone! Viktor is trying to find answers too on how to beat this girl! He grabs Jenny and whips her to the corner, running in with a Clothesline, wait he follows it with a Flatliner! Are you kidding me!? Jenny is out, this is it! VIKTOR GOES FOR THE COVER AND HERE’S THE COUNT!

ONE!

TWO!!!

THREE….

Gavin Kirkland: SHE KICKED OUT! SHE KICKED OUT! MAMACITA KICKED OUT! I’M LOVING THIS PREZ! THIS MATCH CAN GO ON FOR THE ENTIRE TWO HOURS! Wait… Viktor… what is he doing? HE IS SETTING HER UP FOR ROLL THE DICE! THE GERMAN SUPLEX NUT JENNY LANDS ON HER FEET! VIKTOR TURNS INTO A HURRICANRANA! VIKTOR LANDS HARD! HE GETS BACK UP ON HIS FEET! JENNY SLAMS A DDT!

(The Crowd chants “This is Awesome! This is Awesome!)

Deadprez: “THAT WAS TIGHT DAWG! THERE WAS NO REPRIEVE FROM THAT! VIKTOR MAYBE OUT! SHE HOOKS THE LEG FOR THE COVER!

ONE!!

TWO!!!!

THREE…..

Deadprez: AGAIN, VIKTOR KICKS OUT! NOW JENNY CAN’T BELIEVE IT! SHE IS LOOKING AT THE REFEREE WONDERING WHAT THE HELL SHE HAS TO DO TO TAKE HIM DOWN! SHE’s PISSED! SHE STARTS KICKING HIM DOWN AGAIN! The referee is finally trying to get her off, but she pushes him back! VIKTOR FROM BEHIND WITH A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! JENNY FLIES HALFWAY ACROSS THE RING, BY GAWD!

Gavin Kirkland: JENNY WAS FOLDED IN HALF LIKE AN ACCORDIAN! MAMACITA! GET UP! VIKTOR NOW LOOKING FOR THE KILL SHOT! JENNY GETS UP, CHIN CHECK! THAT LARIAT ALMOST BROKE HER JAW! JENNY IS OUT! I CAN’T WATCH!

Deadprez: What a hit! SHE IS DOWN! VIKTOR DOESN’T GOR FOR THE COVER! HE IS CLIMBING THE TOP ROPE! WHAT IS HE DOING! A MOONSAULT AND HE MISSES! JENNY ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY JUST IN TIME! SHE HAS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE OPENING!

(The crowd roars)

Gavin Kirkland: VIKTOR GETS BACK TO HIS FEET RIGHT INTO THE JENNY CUTTER! SHE TOOK HIM HALFWAY ACROSS THE RING! PIN HIM MAMACITA!

Deadprez: SHE GOT ALL OF THAT BUT THEY ARE CLOSE TO THE ROPES! SHE COVERS AND HOOKS THE NEAR LEG! REFEREE DROPS FOR THE COUNT!

ONE!!!!

TWO!!!!!

VIKTOR GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE….

THREEEEE!!!!!!!!!

(THE REFEREE CALLS FOR THE BELL….)

(DING DING DING!!!)

Deadprez: Wait… what the hell just happened? Tell me I didn’t just see that!? Viktor Stone’s hand was holding the bottom rope!?

Gavin Kirkland: I don’t think the referee saw it Prez! He wasn’t in the right position!? The referee is talking to Gina Romano and look a Viktor! He is pleading his case! He is grabbing the ropes, Jenny doesn’t care.

(The referee talks to Gina Romano who nods….)

Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…. THE WINNER OF THE MATCH…… JENNNNNNNNNY CCCCCIIIIIIIIEEEEENNNNNNNNNN!

(She smirks and rolls out of the ring with her arm raised high, walking around toward the back looking back at Viktor Stone who kicks the ropes and starts screaming at the referee that his hand was grabbing the bottom rope. The referee shakes his head while “Jenny From The Block (Track Masters Remix)’ by Jennifer Lopez, Jadakiss, and Styles P, plays throughout the arena. Jenny raises her arms again with a huge smile on her face.Viktor is livid trying to plead his case still….)

Deadprez: Highway robbery for this kid, man.

Gavin Kirkland: MAMACITA WON! SHE WON! CLEAN!

Deadprez: Come on man, Viktor had the ropes, the referee dropped the ball on this one and this kid has a legit gripe, hopefully we see these two meet again soon.

Gavin Kirkland: SALSA AND MERENGUE TONIGHT, PREZ!

(Viktor is still in the ring arguing with the referee, but after the referee is not buying what Viktor is telling him, he gives up and exits the ring.)

(Jenny continues to celebrate her victory over Viktor Stone as ‘Jenny From The Block (Track Masters Remix)’ by Jennifer Lopez, Jadakiss, and Styles P. plays over the arena’s sound system. The confident smile etched across the face of ‘The Baddie’ is plain as day. Jenny finally walks over to the edge of the ring and motions for Gina to hand her the microphone. As Jenny raises the microphone to her mouth, her music fades out.)

Jenny Cien: I said it once this week, and Imma say it again right now. I’m the hottest thing in the ring right now on Showdown, and Viktor just KNEW that by steppin’ up and challenging me, he was gunna get a bit of my clout. The only thing he got was my fist in his goddamn face. Bruh thought he cut promo after promo on ME, sayin’ the same corny ass shit each and every time, and I let him have it, because I KNEW that once we got into this ring together I was the bitch gettin’ my hand raised tonight. I’m poppin’ up in this ‘B, and I’m just getting started here in the world of Elite. Jenny from the Block, the Braziest bitch in this place, is going right to the top!

(A smile crosses her face of Jenny Cien.)

Jenny Cien: And that brings me to my little friend Cacsington. Last week you thought you were cute… stepping up and looking The Baddie right in her beautiful brown eyes. Lemme tell ya something, bitch, I’m not about to play with you. It makes me physically sick to see you walking around here in your ugly ass clothes, nose up in the air, knowing damn well you don’t belong here. You walking around here, acting like you something because you got a win over Showdown’s fastest rising star. We all know that shit was a fluke, and should you woman up and get your man ass back into the ring with me that outcome is going to be a hell of a lot different. You a’int shit, Cacsington, and Imma prove that to you. Come get these hands, bitch.

Gavin Kirkland: :noah: Latinas and their tempers! Gets me right in the dick, Deadprez. FUCK! Can someone please get Kensingten Calhoun-Astor out here?!

Deadprez: Bruh I doubt she wants to get her ass beat by a baseball bat again!

(“Hell on Heels” by the Pistol Annies hits and the crowd immediately start to boo. Jenny lowers the microphone and cracks her knuckles, ready to take the fight to Kensingten Calhoun-Astor. Several moments pass by, but Kensingten doesn’t come out. Jenny is obviously amused by this.)

Jenny Cien: Where ya at, Cac?? I’m waiting!!!

(The video tron flickers on and everyone inside The Dunkin Donuts Center is treated to the sight of Kensingten. She’s standing on the main deck of the American Queen, which is the largest steamboat in the world. She’s dressed to the nines and sipping champagne. Kensingten leans back against the deck and smiles her perfect smile.)

Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. Bless your little Mexican heart! You people get so animated when you’re fired up! It’s almost like all those fiery little Latina stereotypes are true! I try not to judge a book by its obvious color, but when it comes to you I’m having trouble wrapping my head around exactly who and what you are other than a walking, talking example of why my President’s view on illegal immigrants matches my own and why I’m in full agreement that we need a wall and far stricter immigration laws. I mean, the media tries to feeds us this malarkey about these little alien children being abused and forced away from their families, when they never stop to think for a second that if their families hadn’t tried to commit a crime and get them into our blessed country, then they wouldn’t be in this position in the first place! We can’t all be perfectly American. This country isn’t for everyone.

Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: And I hate to break this to you my little quesadilla, but Elite Answers Wrestling isn’t for everyone either. You are barking up the wrong tree by challenging me, and trying to get me inside that ring again. I humbled you and put you in your place, and despite your uncivilized actions of attacking me with a baseball bat, I’m moving on. You are most certainly not worth my precious time. In fact, I’m not entirely sure Showdown is even worth my time which is why I’m not even there this week. I’m on this beautiful steamboat, on a luxury cruise down the Mississippi River, and believe me, this is far more interesting than standing inside a wrestling ring and looking across at you.

(Kensingten makes a disgusted face.)

Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: You will never be on my level, Miss Cien, and it would serve you well to remember that. I’m a Southern belle, the picture of politeness and forgiveness, so I’m not going to hold your little cowardly attack on me last week against you. In fact, I’ll even extend my hand to you. I think we all know that you’re just going to be a flash in the pan around here; someone who just flames out. When that ultimately does happen, darlin’, I just want you to know that if you ever need a job, I got you covered. I know you’re a mama with several little mouths to feed, and there’s a good chance that you don’t know the fathers of the children, which honestly breaks my heart, but it’s the type of thing I expect from people like you. But even I don’t want to see your little bastards suffer. So when this whole wrestling gig doesn’t work out for you, Jenny, please know that the Astor family is willing to keep you afloat by offering you a housekeeper’s position at our estate down in Savannah. I know. I know. We’re being overly kind considering what you did to me last week, but the way you were raised likely isn’t your fault. You can’t help the situation you’re born into, and I realize that, and I try my best to be understanding. Lack of civility is always par for the course when it comes to dealing with certain demographics and you do fall right in line with that. But no matter, Jenny. My generous offer stands. Ta-ta for now!

(Kensingten blows a kiss to the camera and snaps her fingers, ultimately ending the scene. The camera cuts back to Jenny, who just looks annoyed and pissed off.)

(Showdown fades to commercial.)

(Commercial promoting Operation: Doomsday already on the EAW Network! Relive the entire event! It’s totally worth it!)

(Our scene transitions straight to the backstage area where Kyra Phillips stands against the blue Showdown backdrop with a microphone at the ready.)

Kyra Phillips: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, your EAW Unified Tag Team Champions …HEAVENLY HELL!

(A polite pop is heard from the crowd as both Minerva and Constance Blevins step into the frame, each wearing their EAW Tag Team Championships over their shoulders.)

Kyra Phillips: Happy to see you two ladies! I–

(Before Kyra can even get her question out, Minerva begins breathing so heavily that Kyra stops herself mid-sentence purely out of concern. Even Constance slowly turns a shoulder over to get a glimpse of Minerva, who’s breathing is now audible over the microphone.)

Kyra Phillips: Um…Minerva? Everything okay?

Constance Blevins: (She chuckles nervously.) I think I have an idea of what’s been bothering her, but I tried to tell her that when we agreed to this interview, that we should–

Minerva: Pfft. She wants me to stay calm, to remain level. Act as though I’m not as disturbed as what has been happening to our team and our credibility for the last few weeks of Dynasty as if this is something I should be “getting used to.” But I’m goddamn pissed off, on the brink of madness here. And I mean no disrespect to my friend Connie, and she’s done all she can to continue to serve as my voice of reason for several months now, however…I think it might be time for me to do Constance a favor this time instead.

Constance Blevins: :eyes:

Kyra Phillips: I’d love to hear more, Minerva. What exactly do you have in mind?

Minerva: I’ll gladly tell you, Kyra, and the rest of the EAW Universe while I’m at it. It might be better if we started from the beginning…

(Minerva suddenly steps forward and rips the microphone directly out of Kyra Phillips’ hands. Kyra stands wide-eyed for a moment before Minerva shoves her back, nearly knocking her onto the ground. Kyra stumbles and walks out of the frame, leaving Minerva and Constance to stand alone and position themselves directly in front of the blue Showdown backdrop.)

Minerva: For far too long, women like myself and Constance have been overlooked and overshadowed, tossed aside because of our differences, because of our refusal to succumb to societal pressure and fall in line with the rest of the women in the locker room who play this game “safe.” Who want to appeal to the impressionable masses, who want to be the center of attention, who hope for nothing more than an ounce of attention each week after shaking their ass as if that’s some groundbreaking material. Women with fragile egos who are so disgracefully vain, that it sickens me. But I’m so happy that I managed to find someone I can relate to. As different as Constance and I are when you compare the two of us, it makes perfect sense that we found each other exactly when we did. I’m actually quite surprised that I found someone in this locker room that I’m now able to consider a friend, a sister, even–in every sense of the word.

(Minerva and Constance join hands, a sign of solidarity. Constance gives Minerva’s hand a tight squeeze, a form of encouragement as Constance also nods her head.)

Minerva: I know that Constance has suffered for longer than I am. How she managed to survive and make it all the way up to this point, I don’t know. Her tenacity, her inner strength–it amazes me. She lived selflessly all last season. She did all that she could to help others succeed, even went so far as to put the needs and dreams of other teammate’s above her very own. And for what?! She was never truly appreciated by anyone–management, former teammates, opponents. Mocked, for months. Empire basically buried Connie under all of the so-called stars and precious angels that all found out the perfect way to capture the hearts and minds of the EAW Universe. I know that it’s like, because for years all I have done myself is crawl with the worms as women such as Cameron Ella Ava, Kassidy Heart, Serena Bennett, and Felix Hartley flew with eagles, high in the sky, receiving all sorts of praise and admiration from their adoring fans week after week–no, I’ve accepted now that I’ll never be one of them. I can manage. I will always prevail. But what I will not accept is how Constance has been treated for the benefit of not her career, but everyone else’s. I hate to say it might be the purity, the goodness that rests in her heart that allows her to be accepting of mistreatment like the ones we’ve been experiencing–individually, and as a team. Especially as a team.

(Minerva turns away from the camera, now speaking directly to Constance whose wide brown eyes remain glued onto her tag team partner.)

Minerva: I know that your faith and your god were once the things that gave you all the strength you needed to keep moving forward in this business, Constance…but you know now that you don’t have to rely simply on your god alone anymore. You have me. You always will, and you know that. You’ve helped me in ways that I’m sure I could never repay you. And for that, I won’t just fucking sit around on my ass week after week after being left off of Showdown for damn near close to a month because we’ve yet again been written off as less important, not as vital to Showdown’s success. Brushed off, tossed to the side, kicked to the curb even though we are still two of EAW’s championship holders. We aren’t even featured on weekly shows anymore! And what do they really hope to gain by treating us this way, do you think?!

(Constance shrugs nonchalantly.)

Minerva: Ha! They won’t expect what’s coming next, they certainly don’t expect us to raise hell, that’s for sure. The reason we have these belts in the first place is because we refused to allow bullies and megalomaniacs abuse their positions, scare us off, send us off to run and hide. We refused to be disrespected when the Queen’s Court raved in our faces. We refused to be disrespected when Veena Adams tried to tell us that we weren’t “worthy” enough to be included in a multi-team Pain for Pride matchup. And what did the EAW Universe come to learn then, Connie?

(Constance takes a deep breath and lets out a heavy sigh before pulling Minerva’s microphone to her own lips to speak to the camera.)

Constance Blevins: They learned that nothing good will ever come to those who minimize Heavenly Hell’s significance to this company. Ever. Even worse for anyone who tries to keep me and my sister from fulfilling our true aspirations. And that starts today, when I let the entire EAW locker room know that despite management’s perceived notions about our significance to this roster, I’m inviting you all for a fight. I’m finally going to start honoring my true roots, my true self. I’m not holding back this ambition just for the sake of another person, or in hopes that being patient and “trusting the process” will work out just fine for me. I’m done standing by idly to wait patiently for my turn to make something of myself. I’m through with holding my tongue. I am…absolved. I’m taking my fate back into my very own hands–it starts when Heavenly Hell further asserts their dominance over the EAW Tag Team Division, and we prove our worth over any and every team foolish enough to stand in our way.

(Constance lets go of the microphone and immediately reaches for the crucifix necklace she wears around her neck, pulling the chain with great force and breaking it cleanly. As Constance allows the necklace to fall to the floor, a satisfied smile growing across Minerva’s face as she drops the microphone on the ground with a pop. Still hand in hand, Heavenly Hell walks off the interview set, the camera panning down to the ground and focusing in on the crucifix lying on the floor as the camera fades to ringside.)

(“Confident” is replaced by “War” by Dance With The Dead hits and Santo comes out to dead silence from the crowd as he walks from the gorilla position to the ring.)

Gina Romano: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SET FOR-

Crowd: ONE FALL!!!

Gina Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST…..FROM DEATH VALLEY, CALIFORNIA, WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED POUNDS…”THE SAINT OF DEATH”…..SSAAANNNNTTTOOO MMMUEERRRRTTEEE!!!!

Deadprez: This man is just…undescribe. He just loves destruction is all we know about him with what he did against Mammoth a few weeks ago.. He got a big win last week and has a huge chance tonight against a Tag Champion.

Gavin Kirkland: You think he’ll make El Ray proud?

(“Big Bad Wolf” by In This Moment hits as Minerva walks out with the tag championship around her waist with Constance dressed in street clothes following behind her.)

Gina Romano: AND INTRODUCING HIS OPPONENT….FROM COYOTE FLATS, TEXAS….WEIGHING IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE POUNDS…REPRESENTING HEAVENLY HELL…SHE IS ONE HALF OF THE UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS….”GYPSY MOTH”…MMMIIIINNNEERRRVVAAA!!!!

Deadprez: Looking forward to seeing Minerva in singles action tonight. Right now she’s a tag team champion but tonight she’s got a chance to prove what she can do on her own.

(Ding! Ding! Ding!)

Deadprez: And we’re off! Both competitors now lock up in the center of the ring! Santo now has Minerva in a side headlock and now Minerva and runs and pushes Santo off and Santo charges to the ropes and rebounds attempting a clothesline but Minera ducks underneath but she turns around and runs into a dropkick from Santo knocking her down at least for a moment.

Gavin Kirkland: She now stands herself up in the corner and Santo wastes no time here as walks to Minerva and hits a kick to the midsection. He now irish whips Minera to the opposite corner but Minerva reversed it and sends Santo across the ring and she charges…but Santo got his foot up and caught Minerva in her tracks. He lunges and is looking for a jumping tornado DDT! But Mirvana is holding him in the air…what strength here! And she just tossed Santo stomach first on the top rope! Santo is just dangling there in pain and Minerva just threw a hard underneath kick to the face of Santo and Santo falls to the floor holding his face! His face could be badly hurt here.

Deadprez: Minerva gets out of the ring now and picks up Santo but Santo drives Minerva back first onto the ring apron! That may have bought Santo a few seconds here as Santo now throws Minerva face first into the outside steel post! Santo now rolls in the ring while Minerva is being checked on Constance on the outside. Santo now waits for Minerva to get to her feet and now he runs to the ropes and leaps….TOPE CON HILO!!! What a maneuver from Santo there!

(Instant replay of the Tope Con Hilo.)

Deadprez: Santo now lifts up Minerva and places her slowly in the ring and he now rolls in the ring and sets her up in a powerbomb position between his legs….but Minerva fights out of it with a back body drop! Minerva is back up and so is Santo holding his back from the back body drop and he walks into a SPINEBUSTER FROM MINERVA!! SHE COVERS!!

Referee: OOOONNNEEEEE!!!! TTTWWWOOOO-

Gavin Kirkland:Not enough! Minerva now is waiting for Santo to get to his feet and he does and she turns him around and kicks him in the gut looking for Paradise Lost but Santo twists out of it and hits a superkick to the jaw of Minerva stunning her! SANTO NOW LIFTS MINERVA ON HIS SHOULDER LOOKING FOR I THINK THE CYCLE! BUT MINERVA IS FIGHTING THE BEST SHE CAN AND SHE THROWS A HARD ELBOW TO THE FACE OF SANTO AND NOW SHE COUNTERS IT INTO A DDT! AND NOW IT’S A RACE TO WHO CAN GET TO THEIR FEET FIRST AND MINERVA WAS A TAD BIT QUICKER AS SHE RUNS AT SANTO BUT SANTO RUNS AND TURNS IT INTO A SLINGBLADE!! HE NOW SETS HER UP FOR THE DEATH NOTE…AND IT CONNECTS!!! THE PUMPHANDLE HALF NELSON DRIVER!!! DOES SANTO HAVE THIS?!?!

Referee: OOONNNEEEE!!!! TWWWWOOO!!!! THRREEE!!!!

Deadprez: BUT THE REFEREE NOTICED MINERVA’S FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!! CONSTANCE IS GOING CRAZY POINTING AT THE FOOT ON THE OUTSIDE! SANTO CAN’T BELIEVE IT BUT HE KNOWS HE CAN’T WASTE TIME COMPLAINING AS HE LIFTS UP MINERVA AND PICKS HER UP AND GOES AND SETS HER UP ON THE TOP ROPE!! WHAT DOES HE HAVE PLANNED HERE?! HE GOES UP TOP WITH HER AND IS LOOKING FOR THE SAME THING!! DEATH NOTE!!! BUT MINERVA IS DESPERATELY TRYING TO ESCAPE HERE!! SHE MANAGES TO WIGGLE FREE AND SANTO IS THROWING RIGHT HANDS HERE BUT MINERA…..OH MY GOD!! THE DARK!!!! SHE SPIT SPRAYED THE BLACK MIST INTO SANTO’S EYES!! SANTO IS STRUGGLING TO SEE AND MIGHT LOSE HIS BALANCE BUT MINERVA GRABS A HOLD OF HIM…SHE HAS HIM IN POSITION FOR TPK FROM THE TOP…NOO…IT CONNECTS!! THE PRINCESS KILLER CONNECTS! TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! MINERVA NOW GOES FOR THE COVER!

Referee: OOOOONNEEEE! TTTTWWOOO!!!! TTHHREEEE!!!

(Ding! Ding! Ding!)

(“Big Bad Wolf” by In This Moment hits as Minerva’s hand is being raised first by the referee and then by her partner Constance and then they both hold up their tag titles.)

Deadprez: Good win for Minerva here tonight! Take nothing away from Santo though.

(The scene fades into Myles who is warming up for his match against Mark Michaels, which is up next. You can see that Myles is laser-focused about this match. A victory over the PURE Champion would be incredible, but it would be something he needed after getting his back turned at Midsummer Massacre. He continues with his stretches until he sees something out of the camera shot that takes him to stop stretching. )

(The camera goes to whatever Myles is looking at, and it’s Xander Payne. The crowd in the arena goes to boos at the presence of Xander. Xander has a calm and casual look on his face as Myles seems to be a little weirded out because of it.)

Myles: May I help you?

Xander Payne: No, I’m good. It’s more like: what I can do to help you? You see, I noticed that you’re going to be facing Mark Michaels in just a matter of moments. It’s the same man that I defeated last week. I have a victory over the PURE Champion, Myles! You should be going to me for advice. I know that Mark is a fucking joke and I proved that in the ring last week.

Myles: Isn’t Harlow the reason why you won last week? It seemed like her issues with Mark Michaels played a factor in your victory.

Xander Payne: Details, details. What I am trying to establish is that whatever advice I have, it should be gospel to you. It should be something that you clutch onto in those pathetic arms of yours and cherish. A veteran like myself doesn’t reveal all of his secrets to anyone.

Myles: Really? It seems like what you did last week was take advantage of a distracted Mark, who was dealing with Harlow grasping onto his boot. There’s nothing complicated or mind-blowing about that, Xander. The difference between you and me is that I’ll defeat Mark without any controversy. There’s going to be no bullshit on anyone’s part. It’s going to be me relying on my talents in the ring. If I were you, I would stay the hell out of this match and let me get the job done. From our time in The Wildcards, it seems like I do a pretty good job of doing that.

(The crowd goes “ooooh” in unison as Xander Payne chuckles. It is taking everything in his power to not knock the shit out of Myles. Xander realizes that he needs to be as calm as possible.)

Xander Payne: I went to Jenny Punk earlier tonight and asked if I can get a closer look at the match ringside, but she denied that request. After everything that transpired last week with you on commentary and Harlow going to attack Mark, she doesn’t want this one-on-one to lose control like the previous week. Besides, I didn’t want to be in the commentary booth and have that pip Gavin Kirkland making a bunch of fat jokes at me. That guy is so fucking childish and always has to do shit to make himself the center of attention. I hate people like that.

Myles: Tell me about it. :eyes:

Xander Payne: Haha, really funny. I was rooting for you to beat the living hell out of Mark. On second thought, I want you to lose tonight. I hope that Mark embarrasses you as he embarrasses himself every week. Nothing is going to make me happier than watching you get your ass beat. I wanted to look out for you in this match, Myles. Something that you failed to do for me at Midsummer Massacre. I’ve always been a nice person in our team, and people will see that eventually.

Myles: Is that all you wanted to say to me? I have a match to get too.

Xander Payne: Always caring about yourself. Why can’t you be as selfless as me? Whatever, I’ll leave you to warm up, but I hope you break a leg and I mean that.

(Xander Payne leaves the scene as Myles shakes his head and looks confused before resuming his stretches.)

(Commercial for The Dunkin Donuts Center featuring Xander Payne. He actually thought we were gonna be on an actual Dunkin Donut.)

(“Enemy Strike” by Yuki Hayashi plays through the speakers. The crowd gives a great pop as Myles comes out with a huge, confident look on his face. He knows that getting a victory over the PURE Champion is important. Also, it would be an amazing way to step up after having Xander Payne stab him in the back.)

Gina Romano: THE FOLLOWING MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL —

Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!

Gina Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST…FROM MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA…WEIGHING IN 208 POUNDS… HE IS “THE SOLDIER”… MYYYYYYYYYYYYYLLLLLLEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Gavin Kirkland: He is the second best Australian on Showdown, but Myles would love nothing more than to get in the winner’s column with a victory over the PURE Champion! His former partner, Xander Payne managed to get a victory last week, but whatever Xander can do, Myles can do better for sure. :wow:

Deadprez: It’s obvious that Myles has had his issues with Xander. Moments ago, him and Xander has a backstage interactions. Xander trying to give Myles advice?

Gavin Kirkland: At least, it’s not advice on how Myles can be healthy, but Myles is more than capable of getting the job done.

(“Enemy Strike” dies down. Myles is already in the ring. “Just ‘Cos You Got The Power” by Motörhead plays throughout the speakers. Instantly, the crowd begins to boo. Mark Michaels walks out with a serious look on his face. He has the PURE Championship on his shoulder. Mark may have lost to Xander Payne last week, but he is determined to make sure that he doesn’t lose to Myles this week.)

Gina Romano: INTRODUCING HIS OPPONENT…FROM MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA…WEIGHING IN 240 POUNDS…HE IS THE PURE CHAMPION… “THE LEATHAL INJECTION” … MAAAAARRRRRRKKKKKKKK MIIIICCCCHHHHAAAAEEEEEELLLLLLLSSSSSSSS!!!!

Deadprez: It was announced by HRDO before the show that Mark Michaels will defend the PURE Championship against Harlow Reichert at Territorial Invasion! Speaking of Harlow.

(Harlow Reichert is seen sitting next to Deadprez on the commentator’s table. Harlow has a focused look on her face, but she gives a small smile for that moment.)

Deadprez: Welcome to the table!

Harlow Reichert: Thank you. I thought the best way to strategize for my match was to keep an eye on my competition. Apologizes in advance if I’m not the cheeriest or most vocal. I’m normally quite serious when watching matches.

Gavin Kirkland: The way you beat the snot out of Mark last week. :wow: It seems like this anticipation is starting off in the most brutal note. It’s not something I would see from you, Thicclow.

Harlow Reichert: I’m normally not like that. But, I strategize and pick the right moment and I fight back. I’m not like Mark. I’m not going to just fight anywhere. There’s a time and place for everything. I’m hoping that my cooler head prevails at the end.

(Ding! Ding! Ding!)

Deadprez: Mark Michaels versus Myles is underway! The PURE Champion seems like he’s going for a collar-and-elbow tie up on the former Unified Tag Team Champion! Both of these men lock up as they are refusing for the other to back up! Mark proves to be the stronger man as he manages to back Myles up to the ropes! But, Myles is not backing out without a fight as he manages to roll himself out of the corner and pin Mark against the ropes! This caught Mark Michaels out of nowhere as Myles has a smirk on his face and backs away! His arms are out of the open, so that Mark knows that he isn’t going to pull any funny business!

Gavin Kirkland: Mark Michaels is not really fond of any funny business! But thankfully, Myles seems like the type of competitor that gets to the point — Mark runs towards Myles! MYLES WITH A HIPTOSS AS THAT MANAGES TO TAKE THE CHAMPION DOWN! MYLES RUSHES TOWARDS MARK AND CONNECTS WITH A SHOOT KICK TO MARK’S BACK! MYLES HOPES OVER MARK AND REBOUNDS FROM THE ROPE! LOW DROPKICK ONTO MARK AS THAT TAKES HIM DOWN! MARK GETS TO HIS FEET RIGHT AWAY, BUT MYLES CONNECTS WITH A CALF KICK TO MARK’S STOMACH! THAT GETS THE PURE CHAMPION TO ONE KNEE! MYLES RUNS TOWARDS HIM — BIG BOOT TO MARK ON ONE KNEE!

Deadprez: Not exactly, Gavin! Mark Michaels manages to get Myles by his leg — dragon screw leg whip takes down The Soldier! Mark begins to rise back to his feet as he has that sinister look on his face! This is where the champion is most dangerous, Gavin! There is no one that delivers as bad of a punishment as Mark!

Gavin Kirkland: I don’t know about that, Deadprez! I think our Chairman might be worse! There’s no one that does things better than Mr. DEDEDE! :lupe:

Deadprez: Anyway, Mark Michaels seems to have Myles where he wants him before connecting with a leg DDT on Myles! THE RIGHT LEG IS GOING TO BE A TARGET! MARK GETS MYLES BY THAT RIGHT LEG AGAIN! HE RAISES THE LEG UP BEFORE CRASHING IT DOWN AGAINST THE CANVAS! THE LOOK ON MYLES FACES SAYS EVERYTHING, GAVIN! THAT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS PAINFUL! MARK GETS MYLES’ LEG AND EXTENDS IT BACK! THIS DOESN’T SEEM TO BE A COMFORTABLE WAY OF STRETCHING, BUT MARK IS NOT STRETCHING WHATSOEVER MARK GETS MYLES’ EXTENDED LEG BEFORE SLAMMING IT AGAINST THE MAT AGAIN! The yell of pain from Myles was louder than the last one! Mark connects with another leg DDT on Myles as he covers him! First pinfall attempt of this match!

OOOOOOOOOOONE!!

Gavin Kirkland: Myles manages to kick out using his left leg! It seems like he is being very cautious about his right leg, Deadprez! He doesn’t want to risk of injuring it more than it is at the moment! Mark Michaels gets Myles back to his feet with the grasp of his head! Mark connects with some kicks to the back of Myles’ right leg! THOSE KICKS LOOK TO BE QUITE SHARP AS MARK IS BEING CAREFUL TO PLACE HIS KICKS ONTO THAT RIGHT LEG OF MYLES’! THOSE KICKS MANAGE TO BACK MYLES ONTO THE CORNER! MARK GOES FOR A SERIES OF SHOOT KICKS ONTO MYLES! MYLES IS DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN TO SHIELD HIMSELF FROM THOSE KICKS, BUT MARK IS NAILING HIM WITH EACH ONE! MARK IS LOOKING OVER TO YOU, THICCLOW! YOU’VE BEEN QUIET FOR THIS MATCH SO FAR!

Harlow Reichert: First of all, it’s Harlow! Second of all, I’m not really much of a talker. My wrestling in the ring does enough talking for me. The reason that I’m out here is to strategize for my match at Territorial Invasion. But, we see Mark Michaels turning himself away from me. He is focusing on this match which is exactly what he is supposed to be doing. He can worry about me later! Mark is darting towards Myles and connecting with a high knee —

Deadprez: — Myles manages to move himself before Mark could connect with that high knee! Mark Michaels’ knee connects against the turnbuckle! He collapses down as he is clutching to his knee! Myles goes towards him and connects with a chop block that takes the PURE Champion down! Mark is clutching onto his right knee! It seems like Myles and Mark are even going into this match! Both have potential injuries which can hold the other back! Myles picks up Mark off the ground before wrapping his arms around his waist and connecting with a high angle German suplex! That suplex looked gorgeous! Myles releases that suplex as he connected with it! Mark rolls himself to his knees and Myles runs towards him with a bicycle knee strike!

Gavin Kirkland: MARK MICHAELS ROLLS HIMSELF OUT OF THE RING! THE CROWD DOESN’T SEEM TO BE TOO HAPPY ABOUT THAT, BUT IF MYLES WERE TO HAVE CONNECTED WITH THAT KNEE, IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE BEGINNING OF THE END FOR MARK! MARK NEEDS TO KEEP THIS MATCH GOING FOR AS LONG AS HE CAN! HE WOULD LOVE TO REDEEM HIMSELF BY TAKING DOWN XANDER PAYNE’S FORMER TAG TEAM PARTNER AND A FORMER TAG TEAM CHAMPION! MARK IS LOOKING TOWARDS YOU, THICCLOW. THIS IS THE SAME MAN WHO ATTACKED YOU DURING YOUR DATE AT OLIVE GARDEN!

Harlow Reichert: It wasn’t a date, Gavin!

Gavin Kirkland: :usure:

(Harlow Reichert shifts her attention towards Mark Michaels.)

Harlow Reichert: Mark, shouldn’t your focus be on this match? You can worry about me at Territorial Invasion, but tonight, your attention should be on Myles.

(Mark Michaels is gesturing for Harlow Reichert to get out of her seat and fight him.)

Harlow Reichert: I’m not going to fight you. There’s a time and place for everything. Now, isn’t the time. By the way, Myles is coming towards you.

Deadprez: IN SUCH PERFECT TIMING, MYLES BOLTS OUT OF THE RING AND CONNECTS WITH A SUICIDE DIVE ONTO THE PURE CHAMPION! MYLES TAKES DOWN MARK MICHAELS! IT SEEMED LIKE HARLOW WAS TRYING TO TELL MARK TO FOCUS ON MYLES IN THIS MATCH! MYLES GETS UP INSTANTLY! IT SEEMED LIKE HE WASN’T HURT BY THAT SUICIDE DIVE! Myles looks like he is trying to shake off the pain that Mark placed on his leg earlier in the match! Myles gets Mark by his arm before whipping him towards the steel steps! Myles is not here to play any games! Myles charges at Mark and connects with the big boot that he intended to hit Mark with earlier in this match! Mark falls to his side! Myles gets Mark by his head and rolls him back inside the ring! Myles slides underneath the bottom rope as well! Both competitors get to their feet as Myles gets a good grasp of Mark Michaels before getting Mark Michaels in a Canadian rack! It seems like he’s going for that DDT soon after!

Gavin Kirkland: Mark Michaels manages to slide off the Canadian rack! Myles turns himself around as Mark nails Myles with a superkick! It seemed like he was out of it after Myles whipped him against the steel steps! Add the big boot into that combination and things don’t look so good there! Mark sees Myles on his back before he follows that up with a fist drop! We see Myles react a bit, but he is still down! Mark connects with a series of punches onto Myles’ face! Myles is already down, so he’s not really responding to these punches! MARK GETS MYLES TO HIS FEET — DOUBLE UNDERHOOK BACKBREAKER ON THE SOLDIER! THAT TAKES MYLES DOWN! MARK IS ANXIOUSLY GOING FOR THE COVER HERE!

OOOOOOOOOOOONE!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Harlow Reichert: Myles ends up kicking out at the two count! Myles is a talented competitor in himself! His knees and kicks are wicked! That’s something that Mark has to be on the lookout for! For me, I probably would have looked out for and made sure that I limited Myles’ use of his legs. That takes away his kicks in the process! Mark’s taken done one of Myles’ legs! It should me some difference, but the goal is to make sure that Myles doesn’t get up after you stripped him of his legs. That is something that Mark could do better.

Deadprez: Mark Michaels rises back to his feet and gets a good grasp of Myles’ hair! He’s looking back at you Harlow! I don’t think that he’s a fan of criticism, but you are on commentary for this match! Might as well say anything as long as it doesn’t have sponsors bitching at us!

Gavin Kirkland: Hello, Bloodsport! Mark Michaels is very determined to start a fight with you, Thicclow! I think you can take him on when you need too, but no need to worry about that. Gavin’s got your back! As we focus on the action, Mark manages to get Myles and throw him to the corner! Mark walks up to him and proceeds to kick the former Unified Tag Team Champion in the stomach! Those kicks are nothing to joke about!

Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! THAT’S ENOUGH, MARK!

Deadprez: Mark Michaels is scowling the official for a moment before shifting his attention back on Myles! Mark takes a few steps back before running towards Myles and connecting with a running uppercut to the corner! Myles falls to a seated position! With Myles seated on the second row of the turnbuckle! MARK GETS ON THE TURNBUCKLE AND TOWERS ABOVE MYLES BEFORE CONNECTING WITH SOME ELBOW STRIKES TO THE TOP OF MYLES’ HEAD! THESE ELBOW STRIKES DO NOT LOOK NICE AT ALL, GAVIN! MARK HAS SOMETHING TO PROVE TO HARLOW WHO HAS BEEN PAYING CLOSE ATTENTION TO THIS MATCH! MYLES IS TRYING TO BLOCK THIS SHOTS TO THE HEAD! HE IS TRYING TO LIFT MARK MICHAELS UP ABOVE HIS HEAD! IT SEEMS LIKE MYLES IS TRYING TO COUNTER WITH THE CANADIAN RACK! SOMEHOW, HE HAS MARK UP FOR THE CANADIAN RACK AS HE FOLLOWS THAT UP WITH A DDT! THE PURE CHAMPION IS DOWN AS MYLES GOES FOR THE COVER!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Gavin Kirkland: The PURE Champion kicks out at two! It’s truly difficult to keep a stubborn son of a bitch like Mark Michaels down! That’s something that you are going to need to be aware of, Harlow! Myles is keeping this match into his favor as he applies the armbar on Mark! Mark is trying to scurry his way to the bottom rope, but Myles manages to press his boot onto the chest of Mark! Mark is trying to block each of these shots, but Myles is getting every shot in before pulling Mark by his arm away from the ropes and applies the armbar!

Harlow Reichert: This is simple to get out of. I can do this in my sleep. Either Mark uses that 240 pounds of strength to get to the bottom rope or shows that technical side of himself and counter out of this move! Mark just needs to roll himself above Myles and get out of the hold!

Deadprez: It seems like Mark Michaels is going to do what you say and roll himself above Myles! Myles is trying to grasp onto that arm of his, but Mark is trying to use his available arm to connect with a punch to Myles’ face! Myles doesn’t seem to phased about that punch, but that is not stopping Mark from connecting with another punch! MYLES IS STILL NOT LETTING GO OF MARK’S ARM — MARK WITH AN ELBOW TO MYLES’ FACE! THAT RELEASES THE ARMBAR! MYLES ROLLS OVER TO AN ALL FOURS POSITION, BUT MARK MANAGES TO SEE THIS AS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO GO FOR THE LEBELL LOCK — THE LIBERATION HAS BEGUN!

Gavin Kirkland: Myles manages to grasp onto the bottom rope! There was no way that he found himself submitting to Mark Michaels! Not at this point in the match! Both men get up to their feet! Myles runs towards Mark, but Mark connects with a knee to Myles’ ribs! SNAPSHOT ON MYLES — FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX INTO A POWERSLAM! MARK HAS MYLES THERE FOR THE COVER! THIS COULD BE OVER, GUYS!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Deadprez: Myles with a shoulder up! There, Harlow, you can see the look of frustration on Mark Michaels’ face! This is where he’s at his most dangerous! That’s who you are going to be in the ring with, Harlow!

Harlow Reichert: And, I’ll be ready for him. He doesn’t scare me.

Gavin Kirkland: Mark Michaels picks Myles up and gets him in position for a side Russian leg sweep! Side Russian leg sweep, BUT MYLES MANAGES TO ROLL HIS WAY OUT OF THE LEG SWEEP! MARK TURNS HIMSELF AROUND! MYLES WITH ENZIGURI! MARK FALLS TO HIS SIDE! MYLES REBOUNDS FROM THE HORIZONTAL ROPES BEFORE PLANTING MARK WITH A LARIAT! MARK GETS UP TO HIS FEET RIGHT AWAY, BUT MYLES DROPS HIM WITH A DROPKICK TO HIS LEGS! MARK IS ON HIS KNEES. MYLES CHARGES TOWARDS HIM WITH A BICYCLE KNEE STRIKE! THAT TAKES THE PURE CHAMPION DOWN! Myles follows that with a double foot stomp to Mark’s chest! Myles gets Mark into powerbomb position! Mark has his feet planted firmly on the ground as he manages to flip Myles above his head!

Deadprez: BUT, MYLES MANAGES TO LAND ON HIS FEET! HE KICKS MARK MICHAELS IN THE STOMACH BEFORE TAKING A FEW STEPS BACK! MYLES CHARGES AT MARK! KNEE STRIKE ONTO MARK’S SKULL! MYLES TAKES THE CHAMPION DOWN! MYLES IS MORE THAN READY TO END THIS MATCH! HE GETS MARK UP! HE HAS HIM IN POSITION FOR THE DE FACTO! THE SPINNING PUMPHANDLE SAMOAN DROP!

Gavin Kirkland: DEADPREZ, CHECK THAT OUT! I THINK A BLOB IS COMING DOWN THE RAMP!

(The camera pans to Xander Payne who is walking down the ramp. The crowd boos in the presence of Xander. Myles stops what he is doing and drops Mark Michaels. His eyes are now focused on Xander. Myles is more than ready for a fight, but Xander stops as soon as he inches away from the ring.)

Deadprez: Xander Payne wasn’t allowed to be on commentary tonight, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t come down the ramp and get a closer look of this match!

Myles (off-mic): What the hell are you doing here? Get out of here!

Xander Payne (off-mic): Myles, do you know what they taught me in the first day of wrestling school?

Myles (off-mic): I don’t have fucking time for this. What?

Xander Payne (off-mic): Never take your eyes off your opponent.

Gavin Kirkland: MARK MICHAELS GETS MYLES AND ROLLS HIM UP!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!

Deadprez: MARK MICHAELS HAS HIS FEET ON THE ROPES!

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

(Ding! Ding! Ding!)

(“Just ‘Cos You Got The Power” blasts through the speakers as Mark Michaels rolls out of the ring before Myles can retaliate and take his anger out on him. Xander Payne makes his way up the ramp as he has a huge grin on his face. Mark stands near the commentator’s desk as Harlow Reichert looks very unimpressed with how Mark managed to get the victory. Cheating isn’t something that she is cool about.)

Gina Romano: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH… THE PURE CHAMPION … MAAAAAARRRRRRKKKKKKK MIIIIICCCCHHHHAAAAAAEEEEEELLLlLLLSSSSSSSS!!!

Gavin Kirkland: Chubb Chubb McGee just cost Myles the victory! Myles is livid in the ring! He’s trying to tell the official about Mark Michaels having his foot not he rope! Myles was so determined to win this match! He was confident that he would beat Mark, but fatso go on the way!

Deadprez: Isn’t this Mark Michaels first victory on Showdown? This was something that he needed as he approaches Territorial Invasion, Harlow! He catches you off guard for one small second and he could retain the championship.

Harlow Reichert: I don’t plan on making that mistake, Deadprez.

(Mark Michaels approaches the commentator’s desk and looks directly at Harlow Reichert. Harlow holds onto that stare.)

Mark Michaels (off-mic): Not impressed Harlow? I could care less, but you think it was cute to attack me last week? How about you fight me right now? Show me what I have to expect at Territorial Invasion.

Harlow Reichert: That’s not going to happen, Mark. There’s a time and place for everything. Now is not the time.

Mark Michaels (off-mic): I’ll make you fight somehow. It’s going to be fun to make you crack.

(Mark Michaels begins to back away with an evil grin. Almost like he’s plotting something. Harlow Reichert rolls her eyes.)

Harlow Reichert: Good luck with that, Mark.

Gavin Kirkland: Thank you for joining us on commentary, Thicclow! Your insight was amazing!

(The scene fades into Jenny Punk’s office as she is looking at her phone. The sound of the fans cheering is heard in the background as she hears a rhythmic knock on her door. This knock catches the Showdown General Manager’s attention.)

Jenny Punk: Come in!

(The door opens as Cameron Ella Ava steps into the camera shot as the crowd explodes in cheers for The Goddess. Jenny Punk almost has a scared and defensive look on her face.)

Jenny Punk: If you’re going to confront me over calling Jamie handsome. I can explain it. :whoa:

Cameron Ella Ava: (laughs) I don’t blame you. I get women (and some men) checking him out, but that’s not why I wanted to talk to you. I want to speak to you about my direction on Showdown.

Jenny Punk: I was a little taken back about you wanting to pursue the Universal Women’s Championship. I thought that you would have been perfect for the War Games Match, but I got no issues with you issuing out the challenge to the champion. I just wished that you would have gone to me before calling out Kassidy Heart.

Cameron Ella Ava: Apparently, you’re not the only one caught off guard with the news, but there was something in my mind that made me want to challenge Kassidy. Despite her not taking me seriously as looking back at her promo, I’m not the same Cameron from a year ago. I got placed in a position where I couldn’t win with Stephanie Matsuda. Kassidy should know a thing or two about being placed in situations where she couldn’t win, but if she accepts my challenge, I’ll make sure to say that to her face. I want you to make sure that Kassidy is at Showdown next week. I’m expecting her to respond to my challenge.

Jenny Punk: You’re determined about being Universal Women’s Champion.

Cameron Ella Ava: I love nothing more than adding a title to my resume. Plus, if there’s anyone that can bring that title to Showdown, it’s going to be me. But, since I’m competing for the Women’s Championship, I would like to face a female Elitist next week on Showdown. If Kassidy is going to be in the back watching this match, might as well show her what she’s going to be expecting.

Jenny Punk: There can be a possibility that she ignores your challenge. You’re not active in the women’s division. But, I’ll see what I can do with you facing a female Elitist next week.

Cameron Ella Ava: (scoffs) I’m Cameron Ella Ava. She’s going to accept my challenge. I can promise you that.

Jenny Punk: Make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into; she’s more than a pretty face. From Kassidy’s performance last night, she proved that she would kill to keep that title. Are you willing to kill to get that title on Showdown?

Cameron Ella Ava: I’m not going to kill her. I’m going to fucking murder her. We’ll see who’s laughing then.

(With that, Cameron Ella Ava walks away from the camera shot. She leaves Jenny Punk with that thought in her mind. Jenny knows that Cameron is going to bring a different approach to this title match. If it brings the title to Showdown, Jenny is more than willing to let Cameron go to that length.)

(Showdown returns to the ringside area where Gina Romano is standing by. She flashes the camera a brilliant smile as she steps forward to announce the next match of the evening!)

Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR…

Crowd: ONE FALL!!

(“I’m A Jesus Freak” by CJAY begins to blast across the public address system. The crowd rises to their feet and politely applauds Carlos Cruz as he walks out onto the stage.)

Gina Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST… FROM THE BRONX, NEW YORK… WEIGHING IN AT 177 POUNDS… CARLOS CRUZ!!!

Gavin Kirkland: You know, after Mr. DEDEDE shit all over Carlos Cruz and his family earlier this week, I gotta give this man his props for even showing up tonight. If Mr. DEDEDE had made a mockery out of me the way he did out of Carlos, there’s no way in hell I would be walking around right now.

Deadprez: :skip: You musta forgotten what happened on the first Showdown of the new season. Mr. DEDEDE did make a mockery out of you, Gav. Didn’t you wet yourself?

Gavin Kirkland: Gavin Kirkland has no recollection of this.

(Carlos makes his way to the ring, taking the time to slap the hands of a few fans along the ringside area. He even stops to pray over a young boy in a wheelchair.)

Deadprez: :wow: This man is such a good person.

Gavin Kirkland: And this is professional wrestling. There’s no room for nice people around here.

(Once Carlos is inside the ring and set for the match, his music fades out. The arena quiets down because they know who is about to walk out next. “Let It Go” by A$AP Ferg begins to play and the crowd erupts in a chorus of jeers as Mr. DEDEDE strolls onto the stage, a picture of quiet, sexy confidence.)

Gina Romano: AND HIS OPPONENT… FROM THE RYAN ADAMS ESTATE IN SANTO DOMINGO, DOMINICAN REPUBLIC… WEIGHING IN AT 227 POUNDS… HE IS THE ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION… MR. DEDEDE!!!!!

Deadprez: Now here comes one dark mother fucker with an Allah complex, Gav.

Gavin Kirkland: Why is he smiling, Deadprez? Did Kassidy Heart finally let him smash?

Deadprez: :damn: You really gunna talk about the Chairman’s personal life like that?!

Gavin Kirkland: I mean, I find it kind of funny if that uptight bitch is cucking him when Mr. DEDEDE is known to be some sort of sexual god who just takes what he wants when he wants, especially when I would have Kassidy Heart begging for this dick in seconds if she were my wife.

Deadprez: :usure:

Gavin Kirkland: :mjlit:

(Mr. DEDEDE is absolutely smirking as he makes his way to the ring. He’s full of arrogance tonight like always. When he gets to the spot where the wheelchair bound boy is that Carlos prayed for, Mr. DEDEDE praises Allah, and then climbs inside the ring.)

(Ding! Ding! Ding!)

Deadprez: Lets go!

Gavin Kirkland: Carlos Cruz immediately goes for the Chairman, and locks his arms around Mr. DEDEDE’s waist, looking to drag him down. DEDEDE reverses, grabs Carlos, but Carlos is able to block himself from being taken down. Carlos immediately grabs for DEDEDE’s leg, but DEDEDE wraps his arms around Carlos’ neck and flips him down to the mat! DEDEDE remains in control with that side headlock, but Carlos kicks his legs up, looking to catch DEDEDE in a headscissors, but DEDEDE is able to kip up, and grabs Carlos by the arm!

Deadprez: Carlos tries to reverse the wristlock, but DEDEDE whips him into the corner and flies forward! Carlos ducks out of the way but DEDEDE is able to put the brakes on! DEDEDE turns around right as Carlos leaps into the air, and he catches DEDEDE with a dropkick! DEDEDE’s back hits the turnbuckles and Carlos begins to unleash a series of kicks and punches! They connect with the Answers World Champion, and Carlos pulls DEDEDE out of the corner… DDT!!!!

Gavin Kirkland: NO!!!! DEDEDE fended Carlos off, and shoves him forward! Carlos’ chest collides with the ropes and DEDEDE grabs him from behind! DEDEDE attempts a German suplex, but Carlos with a series of elbows that sends the champ back! Carlos grabs DEDEDE by the arm and attempts to whip him across the ring, but DEDEDE plants his feet, blocks, and it’s Carlos who gets sent into the corner! DEDEDE rushes forward, but Carlos moves! DEDEDE WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE RIGHT OUT OF THE RING! HE GRABS CARLOS BY THE ANKLES AND JERKS HIM DOWN!!!!

Deadprez: NAH! HE JUST WISHBONED THAT MAN THANKS TO HELP FROM THE RINGPOST!!!!

Gavin Kirkland: DEDEDE hops back up on the apron as Carlos staggers to his feet, and he grabs Carlos… running him head first into the adjacent ring post!!!! Carlos falls back on the mat and clutches at his head, and DEDEDE slips back inside the ring.

Deadprez: DEDEDE with a headbutt to Carlos, and he grabs the good Christian man and drags him over to the ropes! DEDEDE drapes Carlos across the ropes and starts choking him!

Gavin Kirkland: The referee is getting in there and he is admonishing Mr. DEDEDE for his use of illegal tactics but considering the fact DEDEDE pays this man’s salary, I really don’t think he cares all that much.

Referee: ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR…

Deadprez: DEDEDE lets go of the choke but Carlos remains draped across the ropes. A wicked smile crosses DEDEDE’s face, and he slams his foot into the back of Carlos’ head!!! DEDEDE with repeated foot stomps while Carlos remains draped across the ropes! DEDEDE jerks Carlos off the ropes now and puts him down with a scoop slam! The champ runs the ropes… CORKSCREW ELBOW CONNECTS WITH CARLOS CRUZ!!! DEDEDE WITH THE COVER!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWO-

Gavin Kirkland: CARLOS KICKS OUT!!!

Deadprez: DEDEDE looks a little annoyed by that and he helps Carlos back up to his feet. DEDEDE with an uppercut, but somehow Carlos is able to fire back and catch DEDEDE in the gut with a boot! DEDEDE fires off a right hand, and Carlos answers back! DEDEDE with another stiff shot, and Carlos staggers back into the corner! DEDEDE looking for a corner clothesline, but Carlos gets his feet up and catches DEDEDE in the chest! Carlos hops up to the middle and launches himself off… BUT DEDEDE CATCHES HIM!!!! DEDEDE SETS CARLOS ON HIS FEET, LOCKS HIS ARMS AROUND THE MAN’S WAIST… RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX INTO THE TURNBUCKLES!!!!

Gavin Kirkland: Carlos’ head slams into the turnbuckles and DEDEDE drags him out of the corner! DEDEDE is one of the most ruthless competitors this sport has ever seen and he has mounted Carlos, and he is beating the ever living shit out of him right now! Carlos is trying to defend himself by throwing up his arms, but DEDEDE just continues his assault on this dude. DEDEDE finally gets off Carlos, grabs him up, and whips him into the corner! DEDEDE continues his assault of Carlos Cruz with several jumping forearm shots in a row, absolutely rocking Carlos! DEDEDE with several jumping shoulder thrusts now, and honestly. Carlos is going to have to find a way to get back into this match and he needs to do it ASAP.

Deadprez: It’s not looking so good, Gavin. DEDEDE is just having a field day with Carlos Cruz right now. Clearly, the Jesus Freak did not come into this match prepared, and when you step into the ring with someone as cutthroat as DEDEDE you really can’t expect to survive.

Gavin Kirkland: Kassidy’s master grabs Carlos and drives him into the mat with a spiked DDT. That smile of DEDEDE’s is so evil and so sinister, and who really knows what’s going through his head right now?!

Deadprez: Well right now, I think DEDEDE has the execution of Carlos Cruz on his mind. DEDEDE is putting the boots to Carlos now, and Carlos really has no choice but to do what he just did and that’s roll out of the ring! Carlos drops to the floor and attempts to collect his bearings. DEDEDE lies in wait though. If there’s one thing we can say about our Chairman is that he is a calculated killer inside that ring. He’s patient and methodical.

Gavin Kirkland: Carlos is using the barricades to pull himself up… BUT THERE GOES DEDEDE! DEDEDE WITH A RUNNING START… SOMERSAULT TOPE OVER THE ROPES!!!! HE TAKES DOWN CARLOS AND IMMEDIATELY BEGINS SLAMMING HIS FIST INTO CARLOS’ FACE! “VINTAGE” DEDEDE JUST CAUGHT CARLOS CRUZ AND NOW DEDEDE IS UNLOADING! CARLOS’S NOSE IS BUSTED OPEN AND DEDEDE IS JUST UNLEASHING ALL THAT SEXUAL FRUSTRATION ONTO CARLOS NOW!!!!

Deadprez: DEDEDE TAKES CARLOS AND THROWS HIM INTO THE STEEL RINGSTEPS! CARLOS LANDS SHOULDER FIRST INTO THAT STEEL AND DEDEDE WITH HIS USAIN BOLT LIKE SPEED SPRINTS FORWARD! HIS KNEE CONNECTS WITH CARLOS’ SKULL, AND CARLOS’ HEAD IS SMASHED AGAINST THE STEPS! DEDEDE WASTING ABSOLUTELY NO TIME!!! HE GRABS CARLOS ONTO HIS SHOULDER AND RAMS HIM RIGHT INTO THE RINGPOST! DEDEDE MAINTAINS CONTROL AND SLAMS CARLOS SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE RING POST AGAIN! DEDEDE DOES IT A THIRD TIME… A FOURTH TIME.. A FIFTH TIME!!! CARLOS CRUZ SURELY HAS A SEPARATED SHOULDER BY NOW!!!! DEDEDE TOSSES CARLOS ONTO THE APRON OF THE RING AND CRAWLS IN BEHIND HIM! DEDEDE JERKS HIM UP INTO A SITTING POSITION.. AND WHAT THE HELL???

Gavin Kirkland: IS THAT AN OMOPLATA SHOULDER LOCK SUBMISSION?!

Deadprez: DEDEDE IS LOOKING TO BREAK CARLOS CRUZ’S SHOULDER RIGHT NOW BUT CRUZ IS ABLE TO GRAB THE ROPES! CRUZ HAS A HOLD OF THE ROPES AND THE REFEREE IS FORCING DEDEDE TO GET UP!

Referee: ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR….

Gavin Kirkland: DEDEDE ANGRILY RELEASES THE MOVE AND SLAMS HIS FOREARM INTO THE BACK OF CARLOS’ HEAD! CARLOS’ FACE SLAMS INTO THE MAT AND DEDEDE WITH REPEATED FOREARMS TO CARLOS! DEDEDE JERKS CARLOS UP AND WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND CARLOS’ NECK! BUT LOOK AT CARLOS! HE JUST GRABBED DEDEDE BY THE HAIR AND DROPPED TO HIS KNEES! DEDEDE’S CHIN CONNECTS WITH CARLOS’ SHOULDER… BUT THAT MIGHT HAVE HURT CARLOS JUST AS MUCH! THAT’S THE SHOULDER THAT DEDEDE PUNISHED EARLIER!

Deadprez: This is Carlos’ first real opening of the match though, so he has got too dig deep and find a way to capitalize on this.

Gavin Kirkland: But DEDEDE is already up to his knees! You know when he rakes his hands through his hair all angrily and shit that he means business! DEDEDE stands up and slowly makes his way back over to Carlos. The Answers World Champion, best selling author, and Fashion Gawd has nothing but malice in his eyes right now. He waits for Carlos to drag himself up, and look, Deadprez. Carlos is favoring that shoulder right now!

Deadprez: And that’s just a target for a man like DEDEDE….

Gavin Kirkland: RUNNING BIG BOOT TO THE INJURED SHOULDER! CARLOS CRUMBLES TO THE MAT! DEDEDE ALL OVER HIM WITH HAMMERFIST SHOTS TO THAT SHOULDER! DEDEDE DRAGS CARLOS INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING NOW AND HE LOCKS HIM BACK IN THAT OMOPLATA SHOULDER LOCK SUBMISSION!!!! CARLOS DOESN’T HAVE A ROPE TO GRAB THIS TIME AND HE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO TAP! WOW! WHAT A MOVE!!!!

(Ding! Ding! Ding!)

Deadprez: CARLOS CRUZ HAS TAPPED OUT TO MR. DEDEDE BUT THE CHAMPION ISN’T LETTING HIM GO! DEDEDE HAS SURELY RIPPED EVERY SINGLE MUSCLE AND TENDON IN CARLOS CRUZ’S SHOULDER AND THE REFEREE IS PLEADING WITH DEDEDE TO LET GO!!!!

Gavin Kirkland: Carlos is in pure agony right now and the referee has to physically get involved and pull the possessed Answers World Champion off of a helpless Carlos Cruz! DEDEDE with a decisive submission victory here tonight, busting out an Omoplata Shoulder Lock because why the hell not… and Carlos’ shoulder is broken. It has to be broken…

(Mr. DEDEDE’s theme music has started blasting across the PA system, but the DEDEDE himself has slipped out of the ring. He pulls up the ring skirt and removes The Equalizer out from underneath of it.)

Deadprez: Oh my god! Someone stop Mr. DEDEDE! This is completely unnecessary! He’s already ended Carlos Cruz’s season by destroying the man’s shoulder. He doesn’t need to end his career too!!

(Carlos Cruz has been helped to his feet by the official.)

Gavin Kirkland: MR. DEDEDE JUST SLAMMED THE EQUALIZER OVER THE TOP OF CARLOS CRUZ’S HEAD!!! CARLOS IS DONE!!!

(DEDEDE looks down at the damage he’s done and smirks.)

Deadprez: This was disgusting and uncomfortable to watch. Seems to be a recurring theme with Mr. DEDEDE. Is there anyone that can stop this man?

Gavin Kirkland: I don’t think so. :lupe:

(Camera opens to find Ahren Fournier talking to a backstage producer with a clipboard and looking annoyed.)

Producer: Mr. Fournier, I know these details may not matter to you but it’s important to us that we make sure all elitists are satisfied with what’s out there.

Ahren Fournier: No, I do not have time to discuss the Church of Latter-day Saints.

Producer: I’m not a Mormon! Just tell me. What do you think of the footing on the canvas out there?

Ahren Fournier: What would you think of my foot going into your face?

Producer: Wha—? But… okay. What about how forgot the ropes are kept on the ring? Do they need to be tighter? Looser? Are they good where they are?

Ahren Fournier: How tight is that ass, boi?

Producer: …I’m gonna write satisfied with how they are.

???: Mr. Fournier, a word.

(Just then, Detective SKabler walls up in full detective garb and flashing his Bozo Victims Unit badge. He grabs a chair and turns it around, attempting to sit in an intimidating way as he eyes Ahren.)

Ahren Fournier: If you’re going to strip for me then I have some bad news—

Detective SKabler: What? No. You see, in the Briminal Justice system, dickeating offenses are considered especially—

Ahren Fournier: Dear god, please don’t recite that whole thing.

Detective SKabler: I’m here to formally offer you a spot in the Bozo Victims Unit.

???: NO! NO! NO!

(Detective Ty is shouting as the rest of the BVU arrive to see what Detective SKabler is doing.)

Detective Ty: No. I won’t accept this. You simply can’t trust him. Look how things went the last time this man was aligned with someone. Do you really want to end up just being his stepping stone to the next level?

Detective SKabler: STFU damn. You know all that shit was Kassidy’s fault anyway. We can’t hold on to shit like that and ignore an opportunity at success.

Detective Ty: Its a bad idea. You brought me into this unit for my instincts as a detective and I’m telling you this is a bad idea.

Detective Biggums: Ty is right. Look at the bad blood between you and Ahren over all this time. You gonna tell me that it’s all water under the bridge? Nah. That shits gonna come up and it’s gonna get ugly.

Detective SKabler: You just mad because Kassidy maced you in the mouth. Pepper spray got you salty, huh?

(Detective Asson then walks up to Detective SKabler and opens her trench coat to him, revealing the only thing she is wearing was the trench coat. Detective SKabler stares wide eyed at her body.)

Detective Asson: You can’t trust Ahren.

Detective SKabler: I can’t trust Ahren.

Ahren Fournier: :dahell: Just stop with the nonsense.

(Ahren waves Detective Asson away and stands directly in front of Detective SKabler, who stands out of his chair to face Ahren.)

Ahren Fournier: I don’t give a damn about you guys playing Scooby-Doo and dressing up like detectives. I don’t care about dickeating crimes or whatever the fuck. All of this, it’s not for me.

Detective SKabler: So you’re saying—

Ahren Fournier: BUT… I do want to win. And I know you do too. So. Let’s go out there and win us a match, shall we?

(Ahren extends his hand and waits. Detective SKabler looks at his hand, still heavily influenced by the persuasive words of Detective Asson.)

Detective SKabler: Bet.

(Detective SKabler shakes Ahrens hand and they begin making their way towards the curtain entrance as we fade to commercial.)

(Commercial for InstaWedding.com. You can get married so easily, you could do it in your sleep! Featuring new spokesperson Kassidy Heart. “Is this some kind of cruel joke?”)

(We return from commercial to see the Mechanical Animals already in the ring with Joseph Gracons on the outside giving them some coaching tips. Gina Romano stands at the ready with her microphone as “Starboi” by The Weeknd hits and Ahren Fournier walks out with his fur coat on over his gear. He pauses there on the stage as Gina begins to speak.)

Gina Romano: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a tag team match and is scheduled for one fall!!

Crowd: ONE FALL!

Gina Romano: Introducing first, making his way to the ring from Pawtucket, Rhode Island, weighing in at 210 pounds… AHHHREEEEN FFOOUURRNNNIIEERRR!!!

(Just then, “Odee” by A Boogie hits as Chris Elite walks out wearing his Pink Mink and the BVU all following close behind. They step out onto the stage and stand next to Ahren before they all begin to walk down together.)

Gina Romano: And his tag team partner, making his way to the ring from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 210 pounds… CHRIIIIISSSSS EEEEELLLLIIIITTEEEEEE!!!

(Chris and Ahren remove their coats and climb up into the ring, giving each other a brief nod.)

Gina Romano: And their opponents, already in the ring and hailing from Junon in the Netherlands… at a combined weight of 463 pounds… the team of David Gibson and Sabin Richards… THE MECCHAAANNIICCALLL AAANNIIMMAAALLLLSSS!!!

(Gibson and Richards both look psyched for the match and Gracons continues to point at Elite and Fournier and shout strategy at them.)

Gavin Kirkland: Damn, detective Asson looks good.

(DING! DING! DING!)

Deadprez: AND WE ARE UNDERWAY! This is an interesting pairing between Fournier and Elite. You have to wonder how they’ll do against an established team like Sabin and Richards! Looks like we’ll get Fournier and Gibson to start this one off… both men look ready and are circling. GIBSON GOES FOR A TAKEDOWN! STUFFED BY AHREN! Ahren shoves him away! Gibson now swings a wild punch! But Ahren ducks it! Gibson turns around— PROTECT YA NECK! THE CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! OUT OF NOWHERE AND AHREN FALLS ON TOP OF GIBSON FOR THE COVER! RICHARDS RUNS IN TO TRY TO BREAK IT UP! BOX OFFICE SMASH! CHRIS ELITE WITH THE SUPERKICK TO THE FACE OF RICHARDS AS JOSEPH GRACONS WATCHES ON IN HORROR!

Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

(DING! DING! DING!)

(“Starboi” picks back up as Ahren stands to his feet and both he and Elite have their hands raised.)

Gina Romano: Here are your winners… AHREN FOURNIER AND CHRIS ELITE!

Deadprez: DAMN! That was a statement victory for Ahren and Bhris as they step into the tag team division! They just made quick work out of a team that nearly took the tag team titles as Midsummer Massacre!

Gavin Kirkland: Hmm? WAIT WHAT? THE MATCH IS OVER?!? I WASN’T EVEN DONE STARING AT DETECTIVE ASSON YET!!!!!!

(Both men make their exit and begin to walk up the ramp with the BVU. They both pause near the stage and look back at the wreckage they just caused so easily. A smile begins to form on both of their faces and they again nod at each other before heading up through the curtain.)

(Commercial for Unemployment assistance provided by the United States Government. Featuring Malcolm Jones. “STFU Damn.”)

(The camera fades into Jamie O’Hara warming up for his match backstage. The crowd explodes in cheers due to the presence of Jamie. I mean, who wouldn’t? He is aware of the severity of a Steel Cage Match, and for it to be against Lance Blackfyre, he knows that he is going to be putting his body into hell tonight.)

(As Jamie seems to be occupied by his stretching, Jenny Punk enters the camera shot as she gets a pop herself. She taps Jamie on the shoulder. Instantly, his attention is on the Showdown General Manager.)

Jenny Punk: Hi.

Jamie O’Hara: Hi, what’s up?

Jenny Punk: I just wanted to say something before you need to go out there for your Steel Cage Match. I know, this match seems random and out of the blue, but I wanted to talk to you about my thought process when booking this match. You see, as captain of Team Showdown, I need to know that I can trust you with such an important task. Being a captain is no laughing matter. It’s not something that you can brush off until Territorial Invasion. I need to know that you are investing your time in finding the best team possible. If you can’t do that, I’ll be more than happy to find them.

Jamie O’Hara: I’ve been scouting the roster, been rewatching matches from this season so far.

Jenny Punk: Is there anyone that you find suited for War Games?

Jamie O’Hara: Yeah, that O’Hara guy is fantastic. Bright future with that guy. :wow:

Jenny Punk: I’m serious. :unamused:

Jamie O’Hara: I am too.

Jenny Punk: Okay. Back to what I wanted to tell you, there’s a reasoning for why I booked you in this match. I’m trying to get you War Games ready, Jamie. I want to know that I chose the right man to be captain of Team Showdown. I’m going to be scouting that performance real carefully. Lance Blackfyre is no laughing matter, and when to put up against a monster like him, I know that you are going to cut the crap with the sarcasm, step up to the challenge and try to win. There’s no doubt that I picked the right man as captain. I trust you, Jamie. I am going to need that extra validation. Up until Territorial Invasion, I am going to book you as much as I can in matches that are going to prepare you for the brutality of War Games. You show up to these matches, step up to the challenge and prove why you’re The Ace. Also, I would love for you to have your team assembled within the next two weeks. I hate to give you deadlines, but I get the feeling that Dynasty and Voltage will have their teams done before us. I want you to pick your team, so I can get you accustomed to them. We need to have some edge going into Territorial Invasion.

Jamie O’Hara: Don’t worry, Jenny. I’ll make the best team possible. Now if you excuse me, I got a match to win.

(With that, Jamie O’Hara walks away as he heads towards the ring. Jenny Punk looks at the direction Jamie went as she hopes that Jamie pulls off an excellent performance.)

( Ominous music begins to play, as the steel cage slowly begins to lower around the ring. )

( DING! DING! DING! )

Gina Romano: The following contest is a STEEL CAGE MATCH scheduled for one fall, and is our MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!!! As per the rules of this match, the only way for a competitor to win is by pinfall, submission, or by escaping the cage with both feet touching the floor!

( “Ultimate Battle” by ZENTA [EAW Edit] plays, and Jamie O’Hara walks out onto the stage dressed to compete and keeping a watchful eye on the steel cage structure )

Gina Romano: Introducing first, residing in Los Angeles, California by way of Melbourne, Australia, weighing in at 190 POOUNNNDSSS!!! “THE ASCENDED MASTER”, JJJJAAAAMMMMMIEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOO’HAARRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Deadprez: Last week Jamie O’Hara was chosen by the General Manager of Showdown, Jenny Punk to represent this brand in the 2019 War Games match at this year’s Territorial Invasion event, which will happen LIVE on September 21st and 22nd down in the Jordan-Hare Stadium! The pressure to represent this brand is squarely on The Ace’s shoulders, but if anybody knows what it’s like to compete in high stakes it’s this young man.

Gavin Kirkland: This absolute KING is going to do Showdown proud! I couldn’t have picked a better team captain if I racked my brain for it! He is a natural born leader, a stud, a stallion, and his eyes light up my world.

Deadprez: I think it’s as good of a pick for a team captain as you’re going to get, but great responsibility requires great power, and tonight is going to be a test Jamie’s preparedness for an environment like War Games.

Gavin Kirkland: A TEST?!?! A TEST?!?!? THIS IS A DEATH SENTENCE! HE’S BEING LOCKED IN A CAGE WITH A SEXUALLY DEPRAVED 400 POUND VANILLA GORILLA! THE MAN IS THE ALBINO GHOST OF HARAMBE’S PAST! BACK WITH A VENGEANCE, THIRSTY FOR BLOOD! He’d better not hurt my Jamie or I’ll… I’ll… who am I kidding I’m not man enough to do a thing. :mjcry:

( “Old Town Road” (Remix) by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus plays, and Lance Blackfyre makes his entrance, amped up for another chance at main eventing Showdown. )

Gina Romano: His opponent, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing 380 POOUNNNNDSSSS!!!! LLLLANNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BLACKFYYYREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Deadprez: Ladies and gentlemen don’t let the theme music and the theatrics of this man fool you, you are looking at a cold blooded monster. Two weeks ago Lance Blackfyre met the reigning Answers World Champion, The Gawd himself in that very same ring. And he spent nearly the entire match pummeling the man half to death.

Gavin Kirkland: Want to know the difference between two weeks ago and now? HE DIDN’T HAVE A FUCKING STEEL CAGE TO LOCK HIM AND HIS VICTIM INSIDE! THIS IS CRAZINESS! I NEED TO HAVE A WORD WITH JENNY PUNK! THIS IS WRONG, YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING! ESPECIALLY NOT ONE AS IMMACULATE AND GORGEOUS AS HIM!

Deadprez: I’ma disagree there Gavin, I think it makes a lot of sense tell you the truth. If Jamie can put on a next level performance tonight like he’s known for doing when the stakes are high, it’ll prove to Showdown and to the entire EAW Universe that he’s prepared for one of the most destructive matches in the history of EAW. War Games is a match that you almost never see in EAW because it shortens careers, it alters lives, it changes every single person who steps inside of it and not for the better. Tonight is as good a time as ever to find out exactly what Jamie O’Hara is made of.

( DING! DING! DING! )

Gavin Kirkland: WELP JAMIE O’HARA IS A LOT OF THINGS! A HALL OF FAMER, A MODEL ELITIST, A CHIPPENDALE DANCER IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE FAR FAR AWAY! BUT HE’S NOT A DUMMY! O’HARA IS HEADED RIGHT FOR THE CAGE WALLS, AND INSTANTLY BEGINS SCALING HIS WAY UP TO THE TOP TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT ENTRAPMENT WITH THAT GENETIC FREAK!

Deadprez: But Lance Blackfyre is on him like gravy on biscuits, and reaches up that massive arm to pull him back to the floor by the tights! Jamie sticks the landing! Blackfyre grabs him by the throat, hoisting him up! Shoot kicks by Jamie! Multiple kicks forces Lance to break that grip, and he follows up with even more shoot kicks to the legs! Gahdawg you can just tell he’s putting every bit of strength behind those kicks, they are ringing and stinging the legs of Lance Blackfyre! That brings Blackfyre down to both knees, and Jamie runs off the nearest ropes, delivering a low dropkick right to the head! Blackfire rushing back up, Jamie rebounds off the ropes again, and BLACKFYRE JUMPS UP FROM ALL FOURS, INTO A JUMPING SHOULDER TACKLE, WIPING JAMIE OUT!

Gavin Kirkland: Blackfyre has a full foot in height and nearly 200 pounds of solid muscle over his opponent, the team captain for Showdown this year at the Territorial Invasion War Games match! Yet he’s able to perform moves with agility like that!

Deadprez: Getting hit with a flying shoulder tackle is essentially like getting hit by a flying bus! Blackfyre has got Jamie O’Hara in the corner. He is delivering slow and steady punches with those enormous fists into his body! Now he’s using that baseball mit sized palm to press Jamie O’Hara’s head into the middle turnbuckle. You can tell in his mind Lance Blackfyre feels like maybe it’s someone like him who had ought to be the team captain of the War Games match.

Gavin Kirkland: And why not? There’s no denying that he has the intangibles to immediately pose a threat to any other brand against him, as Blackfyre sends O’HARA ACROSS THE RING WITH A BIG BEAL! Think of it, when you wipe away all of the accomplishments and the track records and had to choose somebody to represent you in warfare among the entire EAW roster – this big son of a bitch would probably be the first to come to mind! But of course the tenacious Jamie O’Hara lives to prove that he’s more than a pretty face and chiseled abs, as he comes right at Blackfyre with punches to the body! BLACKFYRE WITH A CHOP ACROSS THE NECK! JAMIE COLLAPSES! CLUBBING AX HANDLE BLOW OVER THE HEAD! Jamie jumps out of the way in time, Blackfyre on his tail, rushing after him, and before Jamie can even reach the ropes Blackfyre has a firm hold around his tights! Lifting heel kick to the hand of Blackfyre to create space! Jamie leans back against the ropes, Lance comes right after him quickly and Jamie uses the ropes to support the elevated big boot knocking Blackfyre across the jaw. O’HARA RUSHES UP TO HIM FROM BEHIND NOW! LOOKING FOR STARDUST BREAKER????

Deadprez: NO WAY. NO WAY IS HE GETTING HIS ARMS AROUND THAT BIG OL’ BASTARD! BLACKFYRE BACKPEDALS, AND ENDS UP TRAPPING JAMIE INTO THE CORNER WITH HIS MASSIVE BODY! AND BLACKFYRE SHOVING HIS REAR END INTO JAMIE’S RIB! NOW GRABBING HIM BY THE HEAD!

Lance Blackfyre (off-mic): DON’T GET ANY IDEAS! I KNOW YOU LIKED THAT YA QUEER!

Deadprez: Jamie swipes away the hand! Forearm to the face! Chop to the chest! Following up with more rapidfire chops! Forearm! Uppercut combo right after it! He ascends to the middle rope, and DIVES OFF FOR A JUMPING LEG LARIAT!!!

Gavin Kirkland: DUCKED BY LANCE BLACKFYRE! Somehow O’Hara was cognizant enough to stick a decent landing and roll through any potential damage. AND IN FACT HE’S AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STEEL CAGE, CLIMBING UP THE ROPES TO BEGIN HIS TREK TO THE TOP OF THE STRUCTURE! JAMIE REALLY SCALING THE CAGE QUICKLY, HE’S ALREADY COME CLOSE TO THE TOP, BUT LANCE BLACKFYRE’S RIGHT AFTER HIM! WOW!!! WITH ONE BOUND, BLACKFIRE LEAPS UP TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE, AND HE GRABS JAMIE O’HARA BY THE ANKLE, TO RIP HIM AWAY FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE! O’Hara ends up landing on the ropes, tight rope walking them. He side steps closer to Blackfyre now… and delivers a superkick to the ribs! Blackfyre turned around, and O’Hara leaps FROM THE TIGHTROPE POSITION ON THE ROPES, ONTO LANCE’S BACK, CLIMBING HIM LIKE A MONKEY! AND I THINK HE’S ACTUALLY GETTING UP TO HIS FEET ON LANCE’S BACK, AS LANCE BLACKFYRE IS DOUBLED OVER ENOUGH FOR HIM TO DO SO! THIS COULD BE JAMIE’S ESCAPE!

Deadprez: BLACKFYRE JUMPS OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! OH!!!! JAMIE GOES SMACKING FACE FIRST INTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE ON THE WAY DOWN, AND WIPES OUT ON THE FLOOR! GOOD LAWD!

Gavin Kirkland: THAT WAS HORRIFIC! HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE?

Deadprez: O’Hara on the floor holding his head which has got to be throbbing after the nasty bump he took into the turnbuckle. Lance Blackfyre shaking his head, with a look that says “there is no escape”. Lance drags Jamie away from the corner by an arm, before scooping him up into his arms and cradling him like a baby. BLACKFYRE CHUCKING HIM BACK, OVER HIS OWN HEAD, SENDING JAMIE O’HARA FLYING INTO THE WALL OF THE STEEL CAGE AND CRASHING HARD!!! THAT WAS LIKE A FALLAWAY SLAM, BUT HE’S SO STRONG HE DIDN’T EVEN NEED TO DO THE ‘FALLING’ PART! And lemme remind y’all ladies and gentlemen, the steel beams in the steel cage structure you are all seeing has been REINFORCED specifically to prevent Lance Blackfyre from destroying the structure by mistake! The adjustments alone cost tens of thousands of dollars to renovate, yet you could see the entire steel cage structure wobble back and forth just off of that one fallaway slam!

Gavin Kirkland: We’re about to see if the fire breathing Leviathan can melt steel beams!

Deadprez: Something tells me we already know the answer to that one. Right now Jamie O’Hara is sitting on top of the ring ropes totally dazed after going smacking against the cage, and Blackfyre comes right after him, using just one big paw to wrap around his windpipe and press him against the cage. Strangling him! Choking the life outta him! And there’s no disqualification, no count out, the referee is all but powerless in the presence of this behemoth. Blackfyre drags O’Hara off the ropes, holds him up high, and sends him DOWN WITH THE TITANIC PLUNGE!!! ONE HANDED CHOKESLAM CRUSHING THE HALL OF FAMER! AND KNEELS OVER HIM TO COVER HIM WITH ONE HAND!

Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Gavin Kirkland: O’Hara with the shoulder up! Jamie rolls away, certainly seeing stars, but the pain surging up and down his body is probably all that’s keeping him conscious! Lance Blackfyre stalks around the ring, nodding to himself and having a few words with the audience, who are as in awe of him tonight as they were in Brooklyn a couple of weeks ago when he went up against DDD. Lance heads over to Jamie and delivers a fist drop to the side of the head! Jamie rolls over, jumping fist drop to the spine! He backs into the ropes, and comes right back! GOODNESS GRACIOUS, A DOUBLE KNEE DROP INTO THE SPINE!!! O’HARA LETTING OUT A YELL, AS THOUGH HIS SOUL WERE LEAVING HIS BODY WITH IT! Blackfyre presses one of those tree trunk-like knees into O’Hara’s spine, and he rears back at the head with a kneeling camel clutch! And look at that shit eating grin, it’s as if he’s getting off by making somebody smaller than him suffer!

Deadprez: I think that’s exactly the case Gavin, he LOVES this kind of thing, you can just tell. You can always tell when somebody is doing what they love for a career, and beating people up is this guy’s favorite hobby turned into an actual career. O’Hara doing his best to keep it together, trying to pry apart the hands of the The Land Leviathan, but Blackfyre continues to rear back the hold even tighter! O’Hara battering desperate fists into the Lance’s knuckles now, and Lance decides he’s gonna hoist Jamie up from behind by the waist, looking for a rear bearhug! But Jamie clips Lance’s leg with his own legs, keeping himself grounded, and JAMIE YANKS ON LANCE’S BEARD IN DESPERATION!!! ANYTHING HE CAN DO TO GET HIMSELF OUT OF THAT! O’HARA CURLS HIMSELF FORWARD WITH A ROLL, AND DELIVERS A BRILLIANT TRANSITION INTO THE KNEEBAR!!!!!!!

Gavin Kirkland: PHENOMENAL TRANSITION COUNTER FROM THE ASCENDED MASTER! BLACKFYRE ACTUALLY LOST HIS FOOTING, AND JAMIE O’HARA TURNSIS WRAPPING HIS BODY AT THE LEG AND TEARING AT THE KNEE! BUT IT’S LIKE TRYING TO WRAP YOURSELF AROUND A SEQUOIA, PRETTY DAMNED DIFFICULT! IT’S TAKING EVERYTHING HE’S GOT TO KEEP THAT IN, AS BLACKFYRE ROLLS AROUND, TOSSING HIMSELF AS MUCH AS HE CAN TO ESCAPE! BLACKFYRE ROLLS TO HIS BACK NOW, AND ATTEMPTS TO SIT UP TO REACH FOR JAMIE WHO’S CLUNG TO HIS LEG LIKE A KOALA TO BAMBOO, BUT JAMIE KICKS HIS HEELS INTO THE INNER THIGH, FORCING PAINFUL YELLS FROM THE LEVIATHAN!

Deadprez: LANCE DRAGS HIMSELF AND THE WEIGHT OF HIS SMALLER OPPONENT TOWARDS THE ROPES, AND THE RAW STRENGTH OF THIS BIG MAN MADE IT LOOK EASY! NOW LANCE IS USING THE MIDDLE ROPES TO DRAG HIMSELF BACK UP TO A VERTICAL BASE, DESPITE AN ENTIRE KNEEBAR BEING APPLIED BY ONE OF THE BEST TECHNICIANS IN THE ENTIRE SPORT!

Gavin Kirkland: You can see the disbelief on O’Hara’s face! That pretty much describes the story! Jamie releases the knee bar, but goes right after the leg, and attempts to pull Blackfyre away from the ropes by the leg! But Lance fastens his grip to the ropes, leaning back and clinging to them for dear life! Jamie delivers a stinging kick to the hamstring! Another one! And finally rips him away! Lance hopping on one leg! AND A DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP FROM JAMIE O’HARA!!! O’HARA POUNCES ON TOP OF HIM WITH A COVER, HOOK OF THAT INJURED LEG!

Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!

Gavin Kirkland: LANCE TOSSES JAMIE RIGHT OFF OF HIM! Lance Blackfyre quickly sitting up, cursing in pain and favoring the left knee! As they say Prez the bigger they are the harder they fall, who knows if he hasn’t torn one of the many sensitive ligaments in that enormous lower body of his! ROLLING GAMENGIRI!!!! CAUGHT BLACKFYRE IN THE HEAD!!! Blackfyre drags himself to the corner! O’HARA, FROM CLEAR ACROSS THE RING, STORMING OVER TO HIM! LEAPS UP HIIIIIGH AND PLANTS BOTH BOOTS ACROSS THE JAW WITH THE HIGH ANGLED LOW DROPKICK TO THE FACE! BLACKFYRE ROLLS OUT OF THE CORNER HOLDING HIS JAW, AND O’HARA LEANED AGAINST THE CORNER LOOKS AROUND AT THE CHEERING AUDIENCE! FEELING THE MOMENTUM FLOW THROUGH HIM! JAMIE O’HARA SPRINGS UP TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE, BEFORE STRAIGHTENING HIMSELF! ………. GENKI CANNON!!!!!!

Deadprez: NOBODY HOME! INCREDIBLE AGILITY FROM LANCE BLACKFYRE WHO JUST GOT OUT OF DODGE IN TIME! Jamie rolls through the landing and sprints back over to Lance, WHO POPS JAMIE UP ON TO HIS SHOULDER!!! RUNNING POWERSLAM!!! WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?

Gavin Kirkland: We’re coming to find out just how resilience this big brute is! He drags himself over O’Hara, covering with a lateral press!

Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEE!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Deadprez: Another kick out from The Ace! O’Hara showing his resilience as well, and he’s giving Lance Blackfyre and the entire EAW Universe a crash course on why he’s held to such a high regard! Jamie O’Hara and Lance Blackfyre are stirring and recovering at relatively the same pace, it’s taking them a little bit of time to get going, especially with Lance and that hurt knee that was picked at just a little bit earlier. It takes him half a minute but he’s on his feet and doubled over using the support of the ropes closest by him. JAMIE O’HARA CHARGING AT HIM! AND HE LEAPS ONTO LANCE’S BACK! AND OFF HIS BACK, HE SPRINGS UP TO THE CAGE! —

Gavin Kirkland: CAUGHT ONTO LANCE’S SHOULDERS!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! LANCE BLACKFYRE RIPPING O’HARA AWAY FROM THE CAGE, AND HAS HIM ELEVATED, LOOKING TO POWERBOMB HIM THROUGH THE RING WITH ‘FEARS ORIGIN’!!!!!!!!!

Deadprez: JAMIE TRYING HIS BEST TO SAVE HIS SKIN, HAMMERING AWAY CLOSED FIST SHOTS DIRECTLY INTO THE TEMPLE! THE CROWD COUNTING ALONG WITH EVERY ONE OF THEM BLOWS!

Crowd: ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!
TEN!

Deadprez: And O’Hara attempting to shift behind him, and CATCH LANCE BLACKFYRE IN A REAR NAKED CHOKE! LANCE REACHING BACK WITH HIS HANDS, AND JAMIE REARING BACK WITH HIS FOREARMS! YOU CAN SEE THE EXASPERATION ON BOTH OF THEIR FACES! EVERY VEIN PROTRUDING FROM JAMIE’S FOREHEAD! HE WANTS TO PUT THE BIG MAN TO SLEEP! … BUT BLACKFYRE YANKS JAMIE BY THE SKULL, OFF HIS BACK, AND ONTO HIS SHOULDER! BULLDOZING ACROSS THE RING!!!

*clank*

Deadprez: LAWN DART THROW!!! JAMIE SPIKES HIS HEAD ON THE CAGE WALL!!! AND TUMBLES BACK TO THE CANVAS, WIPED OUT! THAT’S IT! THAT PUT HIM OUT! BLACKFIRE PLACES A BOOT OVER HIS CHEST!

Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THRRRRRRRRRR-

Gavin Kirkland: JAMIE HAS JUST ENOUGH TO SWIPE THE BOOT OFF OF HIS CHEST! Deadprez you and I were in agreement there for a second, you could practically Jamie’s eyes roll to the back of his head the moment he got ran right into the unforgiving reinforced chain link wall! Blackfyre is still shaking off some cobwebs, but he sees blood on the water, and like I said before this guy’s a Megalodon with muscles! Blackfyre drags O’Hara back up and holds him still with one hand around the neck, while BATTERING REPEATED RIGHT HANDS UNTIL JAMIE IS DOWN TO ALL FOURS, GAGGING!

( Lance Blackfyre rips the compression shirt off of his body. )

Gavin Kirkland: Lance Blackfyre takes him into his arms now… hoisting him up… OH MY!!! FULL STRENGTH MILITARY PRESS SLAM!!! SENDING JAMIE O’HARA INTO STEEL AGAIN WITH A BRUTAL CLASH!!! MOMENTUM SENDS O’HARA ROLLING OUT OF THE CORNER AND BACK INTO THE RING, BLACKFYRE YANKS HIM UP YET AGAIN, AND DELIVERS A GERMAN SUPLEX!!!! ROLLS THROUGH IT!!!! ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX!!!! JAMIE SENT UP AND CRASHING ONTO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD FROM A HEIGHT OF 7 FEET! BLACKFYRE ROLLS THROUGH ONCE MORE! GERMAN RELEASE SUPLEX, SENDING HIM FLYING CLEAR ACROSS THE RING, LANDING ON HIS NECK!!! YOU MUST BE JOKING!!!

Deadprez: O’Hara turned completely inside out! Shit is allll bad for Jamie O’Hara right now. I’m starting to have doubts if he’s even going to make it to War Games! This man is in a fucking war right now, and he’s being blown to fucking smitherines! Jamie just went tumbling into the turnbuckle, body contorted, after being sent ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE RING for god’s sakes! Look at his eyes, they’re glazed over! He doesn’t look like he has any idea where he is!

Gavin Kirkland: LANCE BLACKFYRE JUMPS OVER TO O’HARA, FRONT WAISTLOCK TAKING HIM OFF HIS FEET!!! BACKPEDALING TO THE CENTER OF THE RING! BELLY TO BELLY!!!! GOOD GOD!!! OVERHEAD RELEASE SUPLEX SENDS JAMIE O’HARA FLYING INTO THE CAGE WALL, AND CRASHING ON THE APRON ON TOP OF HIS NECK!!!! BRUTE FORCE AND PURE SADISM FROM LANCE BLACKFYRE, TEARING THE LEGENDARY JAMIE O’HARA INTO PIECES!

Deadprez: FAM! WE HAVE SEEN JAMIE DO BATTLE AGAINST THE GREATS FOR YEARS, AND YET I HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM THIS VULNERABLE, THIS HELPLESS, LIKE I’M SEEING HIM RIGHT NOW!

( Lance Blackfyre drops to the mat, pounding the canvas with both fists, stalking Jamie O’Hara. The buzzing audience is trying to process what they’re seeing, and Blackfyre’s callous glare watches every single twitch O’Hara makes. With time, O’Hara uses the chainlink wall of the cage to pull himself up. He is drooling all over himself, with apparent bruises all over his body, but he manages to return to his feet. )

Gavin Kirkland: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JAMIE WATCH OUT!!!

Deadprez: SHATTERED JOY!!!! LANCE BLACKFYRE TAKES OFF, AND DESTROYS HIM WITH THE BICYCLE KICK!!!!!

Gavin Kirkland: JAMIE JUMPS OUT OF THE WAY!!!! LANCE’S BOOT RIPS THROUGH THE CHAIN LINK!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

( Lance Blackfyre’s boot is stuck in one of the camera holes for the steel cage, and he struggles to pull his foot out, while a half-dead Jamie O’Hara peers back at the carnage. )

Gavin Kirkland: THAT TINY CAMERA HOLE HAS BEEN RIPPED WIDE OPEN BY THE MASSIVE BOOT OF THIS MONSTER! BLACKFYRE SCREAMING AND SPEWING PROFANITY, JAMIE HAS GOT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE! JAMIE O’HARA CLIMBING UP, LUGGING ALONG TO THE BEST OF HIS ABILITIES TO GET HIMSELF UP THE CAGE AND OUT OF BOILING WATER! THE ANXIOUS AUDIENCE BEGGING JAMIE O’HARA TO CLIMB FASTER, BUT LOOK AT THE BRUISES ON HIS BACK! THE MESH COLORED MARKS ALL OVER HIS SKIN! THE MAN LOOKS LIKE HE HAS BEEN RAN OVER BY A GODDAMN BUS! IT IS TAKING MORE WILLPOWER NOW THAN IT HAS EVER TAKEN HIM BEFORE…….. BUT BY SOME ACT OF GOD, HE’S WILLED HIS WAY TO THE TOP!

( Jamie O’Hara collapses at the top of the steel cage, and the referee is attempting to help Lance Blackfyre free his boot. )

Deadprez: JAMIE ON THE OTHER SIDE, DANGLING FROM THE TOP… AND HE DROPS DOWN TO THE FLOOR AT RINGSIDE, MERCIFULLY IT’S OVER!

( DING! DING! DING! )

( “Ultimate Battle” by ZENTA [EAW Edit] hits, and Jamie O’Hara is down on all fours with his marked up body, pounding his fist onto the floor after the brutal endeavour he just endured. )

Gina Romano: Here is your winner… JAAAMMMIIEEEEEEEEE OOOO’HAAARRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Gavin Kirkland: JAMIE O’HARA JUST SURVIVED HELL ITSELF!

Deadprez: Good god. This man O’Hara isn’t going to be able to move a single muscle tomorrow morning. That was beyond brutal.

( Two referees manage to free Lance Blackfyre’s boot using a set of wire cutters. Lance is in the ring blowing a gasket, completely irate over the finish of the contest. )

Gavin Kirkland: An incensed Lance Blackfyre had more, far more, to unleash upon his prey! And the Hall of Famer and record breaking World Champion was reduced to just that – merely game for sport, at the hands of the callous hunter Lance Blackfyre!

( Jamie O’Hara is unable to stand, he crawls over to the ramp and attempts to pull himself up, only to collapse down onto his shoulder. O’Hara looks into the ring, battered from head to toe, as his music continues to blast over the sound system. )

Deadprez: Real talk. You damn right Gavin, that was hell. That was hell inside a wrestling ring. Something you need to be able to endure in order to prevail in a match as insidious as War Games is known for being. But you’d better believe that War Games is even more difficult than tonight was! The Ace got by with the skin of his teeth, but in War Games there is no escape! Survival is not enough! In a match like that you only have two options, you either dominate or you die! Signing off, for Gavin Kirkland, I’m Deadprez, goodnight from Providence!

( Jamie O’Hara watches Lance Blackfyre take out his aggression on the referees. He sits on the ramp taking mental notes of this match, comparing it to War Games, and pondering the challenges to come. The closed captioning appears on the screen and the camera fades to black. )

( EAW logo buzzes )

( Ominous music begins to play, as the steel cage slowly begins to lower around the ring. )

( DING! DING! DING! )

Gina Romano: The following contest is a STEEL CAGE MATCH scheduled for one fall, and is our MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!!! As per the rules of this match, the only way for a competitor to win is by pinfall, submission, or by escaping the cage with both feet touching the floor!

( “Ultimate Battle” by ZENTA [EAW Edit] plays, and Jamie O’Hara walks out onto the stage dressed to compete and keeping a watchful eye on the steel cage structure )

Gina Romano: Introducing first, residing in Los Angeles, California by way of Melbourne, Australia, weighing in at 190 POOUNNNDSSS!!! “THE ASCENDED MASTER”, JJJJAAAAMMMMMIEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOO’HAARRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Deadprez: Last week Jamie O’Hara was chosen by the General Manager of Showdown, Jenny Punk to represent this brand in the 2019 War Games match at this year’s Territorial Invasion event, which will happen LIVE on September 21st and 22nd down in the Jordan-Hare Stadium! The pressure to represent this brand is squarely on The Ace’s shoulders, but if anybody knows what it’s like to compete in high stakes it’s this young man.

Gavin Kirkland: This absolute KING is going to do Showdown proud! I couldn’t have picked a better team captain if I racked my brain for it! He is a natural born leader, a stud, a stallion, and his eyes light up my world.

Deadprez: I think it’s as good of a pick for a team captain as you’re going to get, but great responsibility requires great power, and tonight is going to be a test Jamie’s preparedness for an environment like War Games.

Gavin Kirkland: A TEST?!?! A TEST?!?!? THIS IS A DEATH SENTENCE! HE’S BEING LOCKED IN A CAGE WITH A SEXUALLY DEPRAVED 400 POUND VANILLA GORILLA! THE MAN IS THE ALBINO GHOST OF HARAMBE’S PAST! BACK WITH A VENGEANCE, THIRSTY FOR BLOOD! He’d better not hurt my Jamie or I’ll… I’ll… who am I kidding I’m not man enough to do a thing. :mjcry:

( “Old Town Road” (Remix) by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus plays, and Lance Blackfyre makes his entrance, amped up for another chance at main eventing Showdown. )

Gina Romano: His opponent, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing 380 POOUNNNNDSSSS!!!! LLLLANNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BLACKFYYYREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Deadprez: Ladies and gentlemen don’t let the theme music and the theatrics of this man fool you, you are looking at a cold blooded monster. Two weeks ago Lance Blackfyre met the reigning Answers World Champion, The Gawd himself in that very same ring. And he spent nearly the entire match pummeling the man half to death.

Gavin Kirkland: Want to know the difference between two weeks ago and now? HE DIDN’T HAVE A FUCKING STEEL CAGE TO LOCK HIM AND HIS VICTIM INSIDE! THIS IS CRAZINESS! I NEED TO HAVE A WORD WITH JENNY PUNK! THIS IS WRONG, YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING! ESPECIALLY NOT ONE AS IMMACULATE AND GORGEOUS AS HIM!

Deadprez: I’ma disagree there Gavin, I think it makes a lot of sense tell you the truth. If Jamie can put on a next level performance tonight like he’s known for doing when the stakes are high, it’ll prove to Showdown and to the entire EAW Universe that he’s prepared for one of the most destructive matches in the history of EAW. War Games is a match that you almost never see in EAW because it shortens careers, it alters lives, it changes every single person who steps inside of it and not for the better. Tonight is as good a time as ever to find out exactly what Jamie O’Hara is made of.

( DING! DING! DING! )

Gavin Kirkland: WELP JAMIE O’HARA IS A LOT OF THINGS! A HALL OF FAMER, A MODEL ELITIST, A CHIPPENDALE DANCER IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE FAR FAR AWAY! BUT HE’S NOT A DUMMY! O’HARA IS HEADED RIGHT FOR THE CAGE WALLS, AND INSTANTLY BEGINS SCALING HIS WAY UP TO THE TOP TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT ENTRAPMENT WITH THAT GENETIC FREAK!

Deadprez: But Lance Blackfyre is on him like gravy on biscuits, and reaches up that massive arm to pull him back to the floor by the tights! Jamie sticks the landing! Blackfyre grabs him by the throat, hoisting him up! Shoot kicks by Jamie! Multiple kicks forces Lance to break that grip, and he follows up with even more shoot kicks to the legs! Gahdawg you can just tell he’s putting every bit of strength behind those kicks, they are ringing and stinging the legs of Lance Blackfyre! That brings Blackfyre down to both knees, and Jamie runs off the nearest ropes, delivering a low dropkick right to the head! Blackfire rushing back up, Jamie rebounds off the ropes again, and BLACKFYRE JUMPS UP FROM ALL FOURS, INTO A JUMPING SHOULDER TACKLE, WIPING JAMIE OUT!

Gavin Kirkland: Blackfyre has a full foot in height and nearly 200 pounds of solid muscle over his opponent, the team captain for Showdown this year at the Territorial Invasion War Games match! Yet he’s able to perform moves with agility like that!

Deadprez: Getting hit with a flying shoulder tackle is essentially like getting hit by a flying bus! Blackfyre has got Jamie O’Hara in the corner. He is delivering slow and steady punches with those enormous fists into his body! Now he’s using that baseball mit sized palm to press Jamie O’Hara’s head into the middle turnbuckle. You can tell in his mind Lance Blackfyre feels like maybe it’s someone like him who had ought to be the team captain of the War Games match.

Gavin Kirkland: And why not? There’s no denying that he has the intangibles to immediately pose a threat to any other brand against him, as Blackfyre sends O’HARA ACROSS THE RING WITH A BIG BEAL! Think of it, when you wipe away all of the accomplishments and the track records and had to choose somebody to represent you in warfare among the entire EAW roster – this big son of a bitch would probably be the first to come to mind! But of course the tenacious Jamie O’Hara lives to prove that he’s more than a pretty face and chiseled abs, as he comes right at Blackfyre with punches to the body! BLACKFYRE WITH A CHOP ACROSS THE NECK! JAMIE COLLAPSES! CLUBBING AX HANDLE BLOW OVER THE HEAD! Jamie jumps out of the way in time, Blackfyre on his tail, rushing after him, and before Jamie can even reach the ropes Blackfyre has a firm hold around his tights! Lifting heel kick to the hand of Blackfyre to create space! Jamie leans back against the ropes, Lance comes right after him quickly and Jamie uses the ropes to support the elevated big boot knocking Blackfyre across the jaw. O’HARA RUSHES UP TO HIM FROM BEHIND NOW! LOOKING FOR STARDUST BREAKER????

Deadprez: NO WAY. NO WAY IS HE GETTING HIS ARMS AROUND THAT BIG OL’ BASTARD! BLACKFYRE BACKPEDALS, AND ENDS UP TRAPPING JAMIE INTO THE CORNER WITH HIS MASSIVE BODY! AND BLACKFYRE SHOVING HIS REAR END INTO JAMIE’S RIB! NOW GRABBING HIM BY THE HEAD!

Lance Blackfyre (off-mic): DON’T GET ANY IDEAS! I KNOW YOU LIKED THAT YA QUEER!

Deadprez: Jamie swipes away the hand! Forearm to the face! Chop to the chest! Following up with more rapidfire chops! Forearm! Uppercut combo right after it! He ascends to the middle rope, and DIVES OFF FOR A JUMPING LEG LARIAT!!!

Gavin Kirkland: DUCKED BY LANCE BLACKFYRE! Somehow O’Hara was cognizant enough to stick a decent landing and roll through any potential damage. AND IN FACT HE’S AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STEEL CAGE, CLIMBING UP THE ROPES TO BEGIN HIS TREK TO THE TOP OF THE STRUCTURE! JAMIE REALLY SCALING THE CAGE QUICKLY, HE’S ALREADY COME CLOSE TO THE TOP, BUT LANCE BLACKFYRE’S RIGHT AFTER HIM! WOW!!! WITH ONE BOUND, BLACKFIRE LEAPS UP TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE, AND HE GRABS JAMIE O’HARA BY THE ANKLE, TO RIP HIM AWAY FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE! O’Hara ends up landing on the ropes, tight rope walking them. He side steps closer to Blackfyre now… and delivers a superkick to the ribs! Blackfyre turned around, and O’Hara leaps FROM THE TIGHTROPE POSITION ON THE ROPES, ONTO LANCE’S BACK, CLIMBING HIM LIKE A MONKEY! AND I THINK HE’S ACTUALLY GETTING UP TO HIS FEET ON LANCE’S BACK, AS LANCE BLACKFYRE IS DOUBLED OVER ENOUGH FOR HIM TO DO SO! THIS COULD BE JAMIE’S ESCAPE!

Deadprez: BLACKFYRE JUMPS OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! OH!!!! JAMIE GOES SMACKING FACE FIRST INTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE ON THE WAY DOWN, AND WIPES OUT ON THE FLOOR! GOOD LAWD!

Gavin Kirkland: THAT WAS HORRIFIC! HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE?

Deadprez: O’Hara on the floor holding his head which has got to be throbbing after the nasty bump he took into the turnbuckle. Lance Blackfyre shaking his head, with a look that says “there is no escape”. Lance drags Jamie away from the corner by an arm, before scooping him up into his arms and cradling him like a baby. BLACKFYRE CHUCKING HIM BACK, OVER HIS OWN HEAD, SENDING JAMIE O’HARA FLYING INTO THE WALL OF THE STEEL CAGE AND CRASHING HARD!!! THAT WAS LIKE A FALLAWAY SLAM, BUT HE’S SO STRONG HE DIDN’T EVEN NEED TO DO THE ‘FALLING’ PART! And lemme remind y’all ladies and gentlemen, the steel beams in the steel cage structure you are all seeing has been REINFORCED specifically to prevent Lance Blackfyre from destroying the structure by mistake! The adjustments alone cost tens of thousands of dollars to renovate, yet you could see the entire steel cage structure wobble back and forth just off of that one fallaway slam!

Gavin Kirkland: We’re about to see if the fire breathing Leviathan can melt steel beams!

Deadprez: Something tells me we already know the answer to that one. Right now Jamie O’Hara is sitting on top of the ring ropes totally dazed after going smacking against the cage, and Blackfyre comes right after him, using just one big paw to wrap around his windpipe and press him against the cage. Strangling him! Choking the life outta him! And there’s no disqualification, no count out, the referee is all but powerless in the presence of this behemoth. Blackfyre drags O’Hara off the ropes, holds him up high, and sends him DOWN WITH THE TITANIC PLUNGE!!! ONE HANDED CHOKESLAM CRUSHING THE HALL OF FAMER! AND KNEELS OVER HIM TO COVER HIM WITH ONE HAND!

Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Gavin Kirkland: O’Hara with the shoulder up! Jamie rolls away, certainly seeing stars, but the pain surging up and down his body is probably all that’s keeping him conscious! Lance Blackfyre stalks around the ring, nodding to himself and having a few words with the audience, who are as in awe of him tonight as they were in Brooklyn a couple of weeks ago when he went up against DDD. Lance heads over to Jamie and delivers a fist drop to the side of the head! Jamie rolls over, jumping fist drop to the spine! He backs into the ropes, and comes right back! GOODNESS GRACIOUS, A DOUBLE KNEE DROP INTO THE SPINE!!! O’HARA LETTING OUT A YELL, AS THOUGH HIS SOUL WERE LEAVING HIS BODY WITH IT! Blackfyre presses one of those tree trunk-like knees into O’Hara’s spine, and he rears back at the head with a kneeling camel clutch! And look at that shit eating grin, it’s as if he’s getting off by making somebody smaller than him suffer!

Deadprez: I think that’s exactly the case Gavin, he LOVES this kind of thing, you can just tell. You can always tell when somebody is doing what they love for a career, and beating people up is this guy’s favorite hobby turned into an actual career. O’Hara doing his best to keep it together, trying to pry apart the hands of the The Land Leviathan, but Blackfyre continues to rear back the hold even tighter! O’Hara battering desperate fists into the Lance’s knuckles now, and Lance decides he’s gonna hoist Jamie up from behind by the waist, looking for a rear bearhug! But Jamie clips Lance’s leg with his own legs, keeping himself grounded, and JAMIE YANKS ON LANCE’S BEARD IN DESPERATION!!! ANYTHING HE CAN DO TO GET HIMSELF OUT OF THAT! O’HARA CURLS HIMSELF FORWARD WITH A ROLL, AND DELIVERS A BRILLIANT TRANSITION INTO THE KNEEBAR!!!!!!!

Gavin Kirkland: PHENOMENAL TRANSITION COUNTER FROM THE ASCENDED MASTER! BLACKFYRE ACTUALLY LOST HIS FOOTING, AND JAMIE O’HARA TURNSIS WRAPPING HIS BODY AT THE LEG AND TEARING AT THE KNEE! BUT IT’S LIKE TRYING TO WRAP YOURSELF AROUND A SEQUOIA, PRETTY DAMNED DIFFICULT! IT’S TAKING EVERYTHING HE’S GOT TO KEEP THAT IN, AS BLACKFYRE ROLLS AROUND, TOSSING HIMSELF AS MUCH AS HE CAN TO ESCAPE! BLACKFYRE ROLLS TO HIS BACK NOW, AND ATTEMPTS TO SIT UP TO REACH FOR JAMIE WHO’S CLUNG TO HIS LEG LIKE A KOALA TO BAMBOO, BUT JAMIE KICKS HIS HEELS INTO THE INNER THIGH, FORCING PAINFUL YELLS FROM THE LEVIATHAN!

Deadprez: LANCE DRAGS HIMSELF AND THE WEIGHT OF HIS SMALLER OPPONENT TOWARDS THE ROPES, AND THE RAW STRENGTH OF THIS BIG MAN MADE IT LOOK EASY! NOW LANCE IS USING THE MIDDLE ROPES TO DRAG HIMSELF BACK UP TO A VERTICAL BASE, DESPITE AN ENTIRE KNEEBAR BEING APPLIED BY ONE OF THE BEST TECHNICIANS IN THE ENTIRE SPORT!

Gavin Kirkland: You can see the disbelief on O’Hara’s face! That pretty much describes the story! Jamie releases the knee bar, but goes right after the leg, and attempts to pull Blackfyre away from the ropes by the leg! But Lance fastens his grip to the ropes, leaning back and clinging to them for dear life! Jamie delivers a stinging kick to the hamstring! Another one! And finally rips him away! Lance hopping on one leg! AND A DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP FROM JAMIE O’HARA!!! O’HARA POUNCES ON TOP OF HIM WITH A COVER, HOOK OF THAT INJURED LEG!

Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!

Gavin Kirkland: LANCE TOSSES JAMIE RIGHT OFF OF HIM! Lance Blackfyre quickly sitting up, cursing in pain and favoring the left knee! As they say Prez the bigger they are the harder they fall, who knows if he hasn’t torn one of the many sensitive ligaments in that enormous lower body of his! ROLLING GAMENGIRI!!!! CAUGHT BLACKFYRE IN THE HEAD!!! Blackfyre drags himself to the corner! O’HARA, FROM CLEAR ACROSS THE RING, STORMING OVER TO HIM! LEAPS UP HIIIIIGH AND PLANTS BOTH BOOTS ACROSS THE JAW WITH THE HIGH ANGLED LOW DROPKICK TO THE FACE! BLACKFYRE ROLLS OUT OF THE CORNER HOLDING HIS JAW, AND O’HARA LEANED AGAINST THE CORNER LOOKS AROUND AT THE CHEERING AUDIENCE! FEELING THE MOMENTUM FLOW THROUGH HIM! JAMIE O’HARA SPRINGS UP TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE, BEFORE STRAIGHTENING HIMSELF! ………. GENKI CANNON!!!!!!

Deadprez: NOBODY HOME! INCREDIBLE AGILITY FROM LANCE BLACKFYRE WHO JUST GOT OUT OF DODGE IN TIME! Jamie rolls through the landing and sprints back over to Lance, WHO POPS JAMIE UP ON TO HIS SHOULDER!!! RUNNING POWERSLAM!!! WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?

Gavin Kirkland: We’re coming to find out just how resilience this big brute is! He drags himself over O’Hara, covering with a lateral press!

Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEE!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Deadprez: Another kick out from The Ace! O’Hara showing his resilience as well, and he’s giving Lance Blackfyre and the entire EAW Universe a crash course on why he’s held to such a high regard! Jamie O’Hara and Lance Blackfyre are stirring and recovering at relatively the same pace, it’s taking them a little bit of time to get going, especially with Lance and that hurt knee that was picked at just a little bit earlier. It takes him half a minute but he’s on his feet and doubled over using the support of the ropes closest by him. JAMIE O’HARA CHARGING AT HIM! AND HE LEAPS ONTO LANCE’S BACK! AND OFF HIS BACK, HE SPRINGS UP TO THE CAGE! —

Gavin Kirkland: CAUGHT ONTO LANCE’S SHOULDERS!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! LANCE BLACKFYRE RIPPING O’HARA AWAY FROM THE CAGE, AND HAS HIM ELEVATED, LOOKING TO POWERBOMB HIM THROUGH THE RING WITH ‘FEARS ORIGIN’!!!!!!!!!

Deadprez: JAMIE TRYING HIS BEST TO SAVE HIS SKIN, HAMMERING AWAY CLOSED FIST SHOTS DIRECTLY INTO THE TEMPLE! THE CROWD COUNTING ALONG WITH EVERY ONE OF THEM BLOWS!

Crowd: ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!
TEN!

Deadprez: And O’Hara attempting to shift behind him, and CATCH LANCE BLACKFYRE IN A REAR NAKED CHOKE! LANCE REACHING BACK WITH HIS HANDS, AND JAMIE REARING BACK WITH HIS FOREARMS! YOU CAN SEE THE EXASPERATION ON BOTH OF THEIR FACES! EVERY VEIN PROTRUDING FROM JAMIE’S FOREHEAD! HE WANTS TO PUT THE BIG MAN TO SLEEP! … BUT BLACKFYRE YANKS JAMIE BY THE SKULL, OFF HIS BACK, AND ONTO HIS SHOULDER! BULLDOZING ACROSS THE RING!!!

*clank*

Deadprez: LAWN DART THROW!!! JAMIE SPIKES HIS HEAD ON THE CAGE WALL!!! AND TUMBLES BACK TO THE CANVAS, WIPED OUT! THAT’S IT! THAT PUT HIM OUT! BLACKFIRE PLACES A BOOT OVER HIS CHEST!

Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THRRRRRRRRRR-

Gavin Kirkland: JAMIE HAS JUST ENOUGH TO SWIPE THE BOOT OFF OF HIS CHEST! Deadprez you and I were in agreement there for a second, you could practically Jamie’s eyes roll to the back of his head the moment he got ran right into the unforgiving reinforced chain link wall! Blackfyre is still shaking off some cobwebs, but he sees blood on the water, and like I said before this guy’s a Megalodon with muscles! Blackfyre drags O’Hara back up and holds him still with one hand around the neck, while BATTERING REPEATED RIGHT HANDS UNTIL JAMIE IS DOWN TO ALL FOURS, GAGGING!

( Lance Blackfyre rips the compression shirt off of his body. )

Gavin Kirkland: Lance Blackfyre takes him into his arms now… hoisting him up… OH MY!!! FULL STRENGTH MILITARY PRESS SLAM!!! SENDING JAMIE O’HARA INTO STEEL AGAIN WITH A BRUTAL CLASH!!! MOMENTUM SENDS O’HARA ROLLING OUT OF THE CORNER AND BACK INTO THE RING, BLACKFYRE YANKS HIM UP YET AGAIN, AND DELIVERS A GERMAN SUPLEX!!!! ROLLS THROUGH IT!!!! ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX!!!! JAMIE SENT UP AND CRASHING ONTO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD FROM A HEIGHT OF 7 FEET! BLACKFYRE ROLLS THROUGH ONCE MORE! GERMAN RELEASE SUPLEX, SENDING HIM FLYING CLEAR ACROSS THE RING, LANDING ON HIS NECK!!! YOU MUST BE JOKING!!!

Deadprez: O’Hara turned completely inside out! Shit is allll bad for Jamie O’Hara right now. I’m starting to have doubts if he’s even going to make it to War Games! This man is in a fucking war right now, and he’s being blown to fucking smitherines! Jamie just went tumbling into the turnbuckle, body contorted, after being sent ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE RING for god’s sakes! Look at his eyes, they’re glazed over! He doesn’t look like he has any idea where he is!

Gavin Kirkland: LANCE BLACKFYRE JUMPS OVER TO O’HARA, FRONT WAISTLOCK TAKING HIM OFF HIS FEET!!! BACKPEDALING TO THE CENTER OF THE RING! BELLY TO BELLY!!!! GOOD GOD!!! OVERHEAD RELEASE SUPLEX SENDS JAMIE O’HARA FLYING INTO THE CAGE WALL, AND CRASHING ON THE APRON ON TOP OF HIS NECK!!!! BRUTE FORCE AND PURE SADISM FROM LANCE BLACKFYRE, TEARING THE LEGENDARY JAMIE O’HARA INTO PIECES!

Deadprez: FAM! WE HAVE SEEN JAMIE DO BATTLE AGAINST THE GREATS FOR YEARS, AND YET I HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM THIS VULNERABLE, THIS HELPLESS, LIKE I’M SEEING HIM RIGHT NOW!

( Lance Blackfyre drops to the mat, pounding the canvas with both fists, stalking Jamie O’Hara. The buzzing audience is trying to process what they’re seeing, and Blackfyre’s callous glare watches every single twitch O’Hara makes. With time, O’Hara uses the chainlink wall of the cage to pull himself up. He is drooling all over himself, with apparent bruises all over his body, but he manages to return to his feet. )

Gavin Kirkland: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JAMIE WATCH OUT!!!

Deadprez: SHATTERED JOY!!!! LANCE BLACKFYRE TAKES OFF, AND DESTROYS HIM WITH THE BICYCLE KICK!!!!!

Gavin Kirkland: JAMIE JUMPS OUT OF THE WAY!!!! LANCE’S BOOT RIPS THROUGH THE CHAIN LINK!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

( Lance Blackfyre’s boot is stuck in one of the camera holes for the steel cage, and he struggles to pull his foot out, while a half-dead Jamie O’Hara peers back at the carnage. )

Gavin Kirkland: THAT TINY CAMERA HOLE HAS BEEN RIPPED WIDE OPEN BY THE MASSIVE BOOT OF THIS MONSTER! BLACKFYRE SCREAMING AND SPEWING PROFANITY, JAMIE HAS GOT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE! JAMIE O’HARA CLIMBING UP, LUGGING ALONG TO THE BEST OF HIS ABILITIES TO GET HIMSELF UP THE CAGE AND OUT OF BOILING WATER! THE ANXIOUS AUDIENCE BEGGING JAMIE O’HARA TO CLIMB FASTER, BUT LOOK AT THE BRUISES ON HIS BACK! THE MESH COLORED MARKS ALL OVER HIS SKIN! THE MAN LOOKS LIKE HE HAS BEEN RAN OVER BY A GODDAMN BUS! IT IS TAKING MORE WILLPOWER NOW THAN IT HAS EVER TAKEN HIM BEFORE…….. BUT BY SOME ACT OF GOD, HE’S WILLED HIS WAY TO THE TOP!

( Jamie O’Hara collapses at the top of the steel cage, and the referee is attempting to help Lance Blackfyre free his boot. )

Deadprez: JAMIE ON THE OTHER SIDE, DANGLING FROM THE TOP… AND HE DROPS DOWN TO THE FLOOR AT RINGSIDE, MERCIFULLY IT’S OVER!

( DING! DING! DING! )

( “Ultimate Battle” by ZENTA [EAW Edit] hits, and Jamie O’Hara is down on all fours with his marked up body, pounding his fist onto the floor after the brutal endeavour he just endured. )

Gina Romano: Here is your winner… JAAAMMMIIEEEEEEEEE OOOO’HAAARRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Gavin Kirkland: JAMIE O’HARA JUST SURVIVED HELL ITSELF!

Deadprez: Good god. This man O’Hara isn’t going to be able to move a single muscle tomorrow morning. That was beyond brutal.

( Two referees manage to free Lance Blackfyre’s boot using a set of wire cutters. Lance is in the ring blowing a gasket, completely irate over the finish of the contest. )

Gavin Kirkland: An incensed Lance Blackfyre had more, far more, to unleash upon his prey! And the Hall of Famer and record breaking World Champion was reduced to just that – merely game for sport, at the hands of the callous hunter Lance Blackfyre!

( Jamie O’Hara is unable to stand, he crawls over to the ramp and attempts to pull himself up, only to collapse down onto his shoulder. O’Hara looks into the ring, battered from head to toe, as his music continues to blast over the sound system. )

Deadprez: Real talk. You damn right Gavin, that was hell. That was hell inside a wrestling ring. Something you need to be able to endure in order to prevail in a match as insidious as War Games is known for being. But you’d better believe that War Games is even more difficult than tonight was! The Ace got by with the skin of his teeth, but in War Games there is no escape! Survival is not enough! In a match like that you only have two options, you either dominate or you die! Signing off, for Gavin Kirkland, I’m Deadprez, goodnight from Providence!

( Jamie O’Hara watches Lance Blackfyre take out his aggression on the referees. He sits on the ramp taking mental notes of this match, comparing it to War Games, and pondering the challenges to come. The closed captioning appears on the screen and the camera fades to black. )

( EAW logo buzzes )ay: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;” class=”mce_SELRES_start”>

Written by Anna C. Flowers

Most Valuable Elitist #191

Operation: Doomsday (2019)