(Highlights from Pain for Pride are shown highlighting especially the Elite Answers Wrestling World Championship match between Rex McAllister and Diamond Cage, the back and forth until finally Cage managed to win as Rex passed out in the coquina clutch)
(“Believer” By Imagine Dragons hits as a BRAND NEW Showdown Opening Intro is played highlighting all the new faces on the roster before cutting to the stage with a revamped Showdown logo as pyrotechnics begin to parade around the staging area and we have a panorama shot of the audience before we cut to Pierre Mcguire and Deadprez at the commentators table)
Pierre: WELCOME TO A BRAND NEW SEASON!! THE ROSTERS MAY HAVE CHANGED BUT YOU KNOW WHAT HASNT? SHOWDOWN BEING THE LONGEST WEEKLY EPISODIC TELEVISION SHOW IN EAW HISTORY BRINGING YOU THE BEST ACTION ONLY SHOWDOWN CAN!! I’M PIERRE MCGUIRE JOINED BY DEADPREZ AND WERE COMING OFF A HOT PAIN FOR PRIDE AND THE EXCITEMENT FROM THE DRAFT HAS CARRIED OVER RIGHT HERE TONIGHT!
Deadprz: Well everyone is so damn excited for this new season and I honestly can’t believe all my messages to the Board of Directors were ignored in my case to become the new Showdown general manager and now I’m forced to stay with you for another season and hear you fangirl over someone with no talent, and speaking of said general manager. He’s going to kick off the show tonight, so let’s just get the hell on with it.
(Camera pans to Aaron Fitzpatrick standing inside the ring)
Aaron: Ladies and Gentleman! Please welcome, your NEW Showdown General Manager, Multiple time World Champion and hall of famer, HURRICANE HAWK!!
(“No Regrets” By Pusha T hits as Hurricane Hawk enters to a AMAZING pop from the crowd as he steps out donning his custom made dark suit and slaps the hands of a few fans before climbing up the steel steps and entering the ring)
Pierre: You know Deadprez, I hear Hurricane Hawk has some big announcements in his address here tonight, what do you think it could be?
Deadprez: If he fires you I’m all for Hurricane Hawk as the Showdown general manager.
(Hawk’s music dies down as he is handed the microphone from Aaron Fitzpatrick)
Hawk: What’s up Columbia, South Carolina!
(Crowd pops loudly)
Hawk: Welcome to Showdown and welcome to this brand new season! I’m excited, I may have retired from in ring competition but that doesn’t mean competition as a whole for me is done. There’s a little bit of pressure with this gig, you got brands like Empire, you got Dynasty, you got Voltage. All vying to be THE show, THE number one, and I want that. I’ve always wanted that, that is what made me a hall of famer, and I showcased that when I was competing on this very same show. And now I promise to be the driving force Showdown needs, I promise to be the driving force to making sure Showdown is the number one brand in all of EAW and for that to happen I am pleased to announced that July 28th, the return of Midsummer Massacre will be an all Showdown event.
(Crowd Cheers Loudly)
Hawk: We are going to be the marquee show right after Pain for Pride which means we are setting the tone for this entire season and I take that very seriously and I will not have any lackluster performances or any half ass performers on my show. And that is why tonight we will figure out the number one contender for Xander Payne’s New Breed Championship which he will defend at Midsummer Massacre! Now referring to the EAW Championship, that championship has the initials of this company, that is the championship around here, I believe it and I believe the man that holds it needs to be a man who can be respected, I am treating you people tonight to witness the first EAW Championship defense of Diamond Cage right here in this very ring!
(Crowd screams loudly chanting the name of “CAGE”)
Hawk: That’s right, and he’s facing a young talent tonight who I’ve personally given an opportunity, and when you give a young gun that opportunity they will surely not let it slip between their fingers. Tonight’s show is going to be big, and with that EAW Championship match I will sa-
(“For Whom The Bell Tolls” By Metallica hits as Michael Bishop storms his way through the curtain as Hurricane Hawk just looks at him before he enters the ring and gets face to face with Hawk)
Michael: Since you are just giving out EAW Championship matches to young promising talent, newsflash, I’m fresh off a reign as the New Breed Champion. I was running the division and it took a multiman match to take the championship away from me, I’m not making any excuses, I didn’t want to be the New Breed Champion forever. I’m telling you right now, if anyone is capable of taking that EAW Championship away from Diamond Cage, it’s me.
Hawk: Is that so? Hmm.. I’ll take it under advisement.
Michael: No I don’t think you are understanding me, you give me EAW Championship match. I take EAW Championship, you make me really happy, capeesh?
Hawk: Demanding? I don’t know what kind of General Manager you think you are dealing with, but around here you don’t just ask and get handed opportunities and you sure as hell won’t talk down to me as if you have the power. You want to fight Diamond Cage? Everyone on this entire roster should want to fight Diamond Cage, what makes you different than anyone else? I’ll tell you what, after next week you’ll be in a number one contenders match and the winner will fight Diamond Cage at Midsummer Massacre.
(Hawk drops the microphone as “No Regrets” picks back up and he leaves as Michael is in the ring staring him down as he leaves)
Pierre: Well things didn’t take long to get down to business for our general manager now, Michael Bishop new to the Showdown roster already looking to take on the biggest fish we have here and he believes he’s the man that can take that EAW Championship away from Diamond Cage!
Deadprez: Maybe he has a point, Damon Diesel didn’t earn the right to fight Cage, why does Michael Bishop have to earn it? Makes no kind of sense to me.
(Quick Commercial Break – Pain for Pride replay avaible ON DEMAND ONLY ON THE EAW NETWORK)
(We quickly return to Showdown where Aaron Fitzpatrick is standing inside the ring)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: The following contest is a scramble match to determine the number one contender for the NEW BREED CHAMPIONSHIP!
(“Yung Flex” By Team Xtreme hits as a confident Viktor Jackson makes his way down to the ring)
Aaron: Introducing first From Richmond, Virginia weighing in at 200 lbs Viktor Jackson!
(“Until it Sleeps” By Metallica begins to pulse throughout the arena, Shane Gates walks down the ramp)
Fitzpatrick: Introducing next From Huntington Beach, California weighing in at 210 lbs Shane Gates!
(“The Final Countdown” by Europe is heard throughout the arena Xavier Arnold appears on the stage and begins to walk down the ramp)
Fitzpatrick: Introducing next From Cologne, Germany weighing in at 219 lbs Xavier Arnold!
(‘In the Zone’ PL beings to play Naheem Bogard walks down the ramp)
Fitzpatrick: Introducing next From Harlem, New York weighing in at 230 lbs Naheem Bogard!!!
(“Prince of Persia” By Warrior within beings to play throughout the arena Tayo makes his way to the ring)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Introducing last now residing in The Pits of Persia Tayo!!!
(DING! DING! DING!
Pierre McGuire: Five Men one common goal, they all want to be the man to face the New Breed Champion at Midsummer Massacre.
Deadprez: One mistake could spell out the end for this match, all it takes is, one person, to capitalize to end this one fall to a finish contest high risk, high reward here tonight, as all five of these men just looking around at each other waiting for an opening.
Pierre McGuire: Viktor Jackson lunges at Shane Gates catches him off guard and battling him to the outside, don’t forget ladies and gentleman this match must be won in the ring, pinfalls and submissions do not, I repeat pinfalls and submissions do not count anywhere!
Deadprez: Three men left in the ring Xavier and Naheem now going at each other hammer off lefts and rights, look at Tayo thought smart just sitting in a corner waiting for his opportunity.
Pierre McGuire: Yes why fight when the focus is not on you, it makes perfect sense pick and choose your battles and if an opportunity arises to steal the match go for it. Xavier Irish Whips Naheem into the ropes throwing him overhead with a back body drop, did you hear the sound his body made when it hit the mat it sounded like a car crash.
Deadprez: Xavier still paying no attention to Tayo, as he is just content on beating down Naheem with stomps to the body of Naheem, Xavier Arnold making sure to hit every inch of Naheem Bogard’s body.
Pierre McGuire: Viktor and Shane still fighting on the outside trading blows and pushing each other into the apron and the barricade here at ringside, fighting outside in this match doesn’t make any sense you can’t win the match outside!
Deadprez: Xavier Arnold turns his focus towards Tayo but Tayo quickly sliding out of the ring as he is not yet ready to get involved here, Xavier now shifting his attention back to Naheem in the opposite corner of the ring, Xavier getting ready to attempt a spear, he charges after Naheem BUT Naheem with a drop toe hold bouncing Xavier’s face off the turnbuckle!
Pierre McGuire: I think we just saw a little possum being played there, Naheem now with the advantage now lifting Xavier back to a vertical base Naheem with an elbow to the face of Xavier… BUT NO It’s blocked and Xavier Arnold fires back with an elbow of his own.
Deadprez: Naheem took to long capitalizing on the advantage he had now it looks like Xavier is setting up Naheem for what he calls cologne Killer!
Pierre McGuire: YES! Xavier hits Naheem with the Cologne Killer, but he’s not going for the cover quickly, he sat there taunting for a second now he’s confidently walking over for the cover BUT WAIT WHAT! TAYO WITH A QUICK ROLL UP ON XAVIER ARNOLD!
Ref: ONEEE!!! TWOOO!!!! THREEE!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(Prince of Persia – Warrior Within blast through the arena as Tayo celebrates, his ring Xavier can’t believe what just happened)
Aaron: Here is your winning by pinfall and the NEWW! NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE NEW BREED CHAMPIONSHIP!!! TAYOOOO!!!!
(Camera quickly transitions to Malcolm Jones by himself in the backstage area as he begins to speak)
Malcolm Jones: Ight so boom. Let’s get straight to the point, last couple of times I’ve been in the middle of this ring it’s been nothing but fuckery. I lost to Chris at Pain for Pride in a battle of crews which I’m sure all of you cacs in the crowd probably looked at as “gang violence” and a “low point” of Pain for Pride because you don’t understand the concept of two melanin sufficient men putting everything on the line for something they’re passionate about. And two days ago on Empire I was at the receiving end of attacks from two strap-on using, axe body spray wearing dykes in my girl’s world championship match. I will do whatever it takes to help my girl, but I understand that less is more now and I’ll make sure to not make the same mistakes going forward. I noticed a lot of people have had a whole lot to say in response. A lot of dickeating comments over the last three weeks from spectators in the peanut gallery, and even some performers in the back who might as well be of the same status considering they ain’t got shit else going for themselves. But that’s all it is, jokes, because FACTS say that none of you people talking shit about me could ever fuck with me. On the mic, in this ring, or anywhere else, and season 12 is going to be a very clear indication of that. Word to my mother, the games is over. I guess I can’t blame certain people though, when you don’t have shit going on for yourself the only thing you can do is bud into other peoples business and give your unneeded two cents on shit that don’t concern you. Irrelevant people wasting no time to hop on social media and other platforms talking about other actual relevant people and thinking they’re accomplishing something by gossiping about people with way higher ceilings than them.
(Malcolm’s expression changes to one of disgust at his comment before continuing)
Malcolm Jones: My season 11 was one where I was finding my footing not only in EAW, but in this business period, I went from a NEO upstart to a REVOLT main player to a main player in EAW in a matter of four months. I managed to find myself in to something people didn’t see coming for me and that was the Pain for Pride main event, I took the L, even tho it took Chris’ fuckbuddy to come out and save him for that to happen, I took the L nonetheless. Regardless tho, not many people can say they managed to make it to the Pain for Pride main event in just their first year in EAW, but I can. That means the sky is the limit and I’m gonna keep pushing and keep flying. Because here’s the thing Malcolm Jones didn’t come to EAW to settle for second place. Unlike a lot of people in the back, Malcolm Jones didn’t come to EAW to be a human doormat. I’m a realist, everything isn’t all fine and dandy in my eyes to the point where I need to constantly be knocked on my fucking ass and pinned on the mat for the three count on a weekly basis like Empire’s Layla Lockhart. Unlike people like her, I’m not a gullible underachieving dickhead who will never amount to shit. So busy mentioning people on social media who aren’t worried about me and less concerned with improving on my craft, that’s not me. I’m the underground king, and I ain’t been crowned. But my time is coming, and it’s coming sooner than you think.
(Malcolm sarcastically looks at his Audemars Piguet watch)
Malcolm Jones: If you haven’t been living under a rock, and you watched Dynasty you should have already gotten the memo by now. When one door closes another one opens and I have an opportunity to walk right through that door and never look back because I find myself with a very special opportunity. An opportunity to once again capture my first taste of championship gold in EAW but what makes it special is I’m doing it alongside my woman, Astraea Jordan. So her and I will be facing the current tag team champions, Mr. DEDEDE and Cameron Ella Ava next week in a tag team championship match. That means that the both of us have a prime opportunity to right our wrongs by winning these titles against the man who gave us our start in this business, plus a woman that many people consider the greatest. I couldn’t think of a better way for poetic justice to happen. I know what some of you guys are thinking though, you’re probably thinking the fix is in! “DEDEDE and Cam aren’t seeing eye to eye and he’s about to throw a bone to his former Gawd Complex proteges!”. Well let’s just set the record straight before we even get into it. DEDEDE and I are not friends and we haven’t been for a long time. I don’t fuck with that bozo and I’ve clashed with him several times in the past. The reason why winning those championships off of DEDEDE will be so poetic is because I’ll never forget the time when that very man had the nerve and audacity to call me a letdown and a failure.
(Malcolm shakes his head in disappointment)
Malcolm Jones: Ever since then I made it a mission to go hard to prove him wrong, especially after he seemed to get the last laugh by beating me in a tag team championship match at REVOLT 1. That’s why there was not a more euphoric feeling than having my hand raised in victory in the Fighting Spirit NWO match while he walked down that ramp in disappointment knowing that I was heading to the main event of the biggest show ever while he had to resort to plan B, cockblocking Scott Diamond out of an alliance with Cam so he can take his place. So here we are, once again in a full circle opportunity, facing DEDEDE in a tag team championship match, only difference is this time there isn’t any dead weight on my side to hold me back… only the greatest female talent in this company today.. Astraea Jordan.
(The crowd cheers at the mention of her name)
Malcolm Jones: So let’s get down to the facts. The fact is that despite my loss to Chris Elite, I still have the highest career trajectory out of everybody in EAW and I’m still going to be a world champion by the time this season is all wrapped up, and the same goes for Astraea Jordan. Knock us down 9 times but on foenem we’ll get up 10. So watch us as we dust ourselves off, make the necessary adjustments, and become even better versions of ourselves. Versions of ourselves that can say we have something that none of the rest of you dickeaters can… gold. No not the gold around our neck from the diamond flooded cuban links or the iced out watches, not the gold louboutins, but championship gold, and we’ll finally be able to cleanse that belt from the stench that has been on it ever since Cameron got her hands on it. It’s time to restore order. The great philosopher Nelson Mandela once said, “don’t judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again”. That’s what I live by. Nobody ever said it was gonna be easy, even tho I make it look that way.. I still have to fight for what’s mine and I will continue to fight. DEDEDE, Cam, next week I’m bringing that fight to you, Astraea is bringing that fight to you. No extra fuckery, no Joneset, no outside interferences on our part. You can bring the 1%, you can even bring your Ava sisters, but I’m on my bullshit, I’m in my fuckin bag all season 12, I promise you it won’t be enough. Matter fact I’m not even in my bag, I’m in my DUFFY.
Malcolm Jones: I hope you people had all the fun in the world dickeating and laughing at the expense of the shortcomings of two rookies with a whole career ahead of them, because contrary to popular belief, this is only the beginning. They laughed at Lebron with ringless jokes for the first eight years of his career and all ate their words. It won’t even take us seven MONTHS let alone years to make you eat yours. Season 11 we got our feet wet, but season 12 we swimming to success, and then we’re riding The Wave to even more success, pun intended. Y’all don’t even realize what’s about to happen, Harlem’s finest, NYC’s finest, Chiraq’s finest, call us Drillmatic… the smooth, flashy, gritty, slick talking, classic feel of NYC meets the savagery of Chicago. I would put the tag team division on notice but this is so much more deeper than that, this whole fucking company is on notice. Handing out smoke for any and everybody who wants it. Be careful tho, you might just OD on it. You thought you saw me at my worse? You ain’t seen shit yet. When it happens don’t act surprised, just know I told you so. Because unlike the rest of these mayo jars on the EAW roster, when we fall short we don’t drown in our sorrows or go down some deep dark path of edginess thinking that’s gonna do anything when in reality is just makes us look worse. Instead we go back to the lab, do what we gotta do, and grind harder so we can shine harder. He who laughs last laughs best, and when it’s all said and done I PROMISE there will only be two people with the last laugh, Malcolm Jones and Astraea Jordan… laughing straight to the fuckin bank.
(Camera transitions back to the arena as we prepare for the next contest)
(The camera cuts to Aaron Fitzpatrick in the ring.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!!!
(“Glitter and Gold” by Barns Courtney hits to a mixed reaction from the crowd.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Introducing first from Ballymun, Dublin, Ireland weighing in at 225 pounds… “THE OUTLAW” LIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRCHER!!!!
(Liam Archer comes out to the ring wearing a leather jacket as he walks directly towards the ring looking ready to fight.)
Pierre: Here comes Liam Archer who competed in the 24/7 Battle Royal at Pain for Pride Festival but now finds himself starting Season 12 off as a member of the Showdown roster!
Deadprez: He calls himself the outlaw Pierre for those of you who are not aware. He is here to bring hardcore back to Showdown!
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac hits to cheers from the crowd.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: And his opponent from The Poon Palace in Miami, Florida weighing in at 210 pounds… “LA PANTERA SEXUAL” T!!!!!!!!!!!! L!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(TLA comes out to the ring wearing a new gold ring attire as he slaps hands with the fans before he makes his way into the ring.)
Pierre: La Pantera Sexual remains here on Showdown with us Deadprez! Even tho every member of the roster was eligible to be drafted he managed to stay right where he was before for Season 12!
Deadprez: TLA competed in the Openweight Championship Match at Pain for Pride Festival and is now returning to Showdown without a title around his waist so you know he is looking to make an impact.
(DING! DING! DING!)
Pierre: Both men go to lock up as TLA lunges low grabbing Liam around the waist and tossing him over to the ground. TLA grabs the leg of Liam who twists around grabbing the arm of TLA pulling him around into an armbar. TLA rolls around back up to his feet as he twists through grabbing Liam’s arm instead and wrenching it back sending Liam down to the mat. Liam powers through back up to his feet!
Deadprez: TLA still holding the arm but Liam uses it to whip TLA across the ring. TLA runs in but stops shoving Liam back! Liam charges in but TLA jumps in the air and catches him with a Hurricanrana! Liam sent flipping across the ring as he quickly slides to the outside of the ring to recover.
Pierre: Liam slides back up to the apron as he returns into the ring. But TLA charges in with a Clothesline! Liam ducks it as he runs back across the ropes and charges in with a Rushing Elbow Strike! TLA ducks it but Liam grabs the arm whipping TLA down with an Arm Drag! TLA rolls through back up to his feet as Liam charges him but TLA yanks down the top rope sending Liam back to the outside!
Deadprez: NO! Liam landed on the apron as he jumps up to the top rope and springboards into the ring! But TLA catches him! NO! Liam caught the arm and he whips TLA forward yet again with an arm drag! Liam stalking TLA as he gets back up and knocks him back with a Dropkick! But TLA backflips across the ring landing on his feet and clips Liam on the ankle knocking him down to the mat!
Pierre: TLA off the ropes with a Springboard Moonsault! But Liam moves out the way! TLA crashes and burns sitting up holding his chest as Liam runs off the ropes and connects with a Running Boot to the chest of TLA! Liam goes for the cover!
Deadprez: And the kickout by TLA! TLA rolls away as Liam breaks the cover. Liam charges in with a kick but TLA quickly gets up to catch Liam’s boot! TLA spins Liam around as he catches him in the face with a bankhand slap to the face! La Pantera Sexual makin’ dem hos know they place!
Pierre: But it only seems to have enraged Liam as he fires back with a Dropkick! But TLA side steps it as Liam quickly recovers back to his feet as he stares down TLA across the ring. Both men watching each other now intently as they lock up in the center of the ring. Liam powering TLA back against the ropes but TLA shoves him off and hits a Dropkick sending Liam over the top rope! TLA runs the ropes as he leaps through the ropes with a Suicide Dive!
Deadprez: Both men down on the outside as TLA starts to recover pulling himself up on the apron. Liam up now as he grabs the leg of TLA but TLA kicks him back up towards the ramp. TLA jumps up onto the ropes and hits a Moonsault from the apron to the outside! TLA taking out Liam but landing on his feet as he bumps fists with a sexy mami at ringside!
Pierre: TLA found a new stripper for the Poon Palace but is still not wasting time as he grabs Liam and throws him back into the ring. TLA slides in as he goes for the cover!
Deadprez: And Liam Archer kicks out! TLA shrugs as he gets back up and makes his way to the ropes. TLA climbing the ropes possibly going for a Moonsault here! But Liam gets back up and clobbers TLA across the back! TLA falls backwards off the top rope but Liam punches him hard in the back yet again keeping him up on the turnbuckle. TLA kicks backwards catching Liam in the jaw as he leaps back up to the top rope and leaps off with a Moonsault!
Pierre: But Liam sidesteps it! TLA flips over Liam but grabs him by the arm as he pulls him over into a Small Package!
Deadprez: And Liam kicks out! TLA nearly winning with the same move that ended his match at Pain for Pride Festival but Liam is too determined to make it a win here tonight! Both men back up as TLA punches Liam back into the turnbuckle and then hits him with a Running Senton into the corner! Liam falls forward holding his chest in pain as TLA again makes his way to the top rope! TLA leaps off with yet another Moonsault!
Pierre: But Liam rolls out of the way yet again! But TLA lands on his feet and rolls through grabbing Liam by the head and connects with a Snap DDT! TLA really going in with the high flying style we see him bring out on special occasions. TLA thinking about going for the pin here but Liam shoves him away as he crawls back up to his hands and knees. TLA grabs him by the head as Liam shoves him off against the ropes! TLA with a handspring off the ropes but Liam catches him as he tries for the Springboard Elbow!
Deadprez: Liam Archer with the Half Nelson as he lifts TLA up but TLA rolls forward throwing Liam towards the ropes! Liam lands throat first on the middle rope as TLA runs the ropes… 305 CONNECTS!!! Liam Archer kicked back into the middle of the ring as TLA goes up to the top! Moonsault connects! TLA got all of it this time! The cover!
Pierre: But Liam Archer kicks out yet again! The determination from Liam Archer as he get back up to face TLA yet again! TLA charges in with a Clothesline but Liam has one for him as well as both men go down! Both men recovering on the mat as the referee counts them down. Both men get back up to their feet in time as they trade strikes in the middle of the ring. TLA getting the advantage as he hammers Liam back with a series of elbow strikes! Liam grabs TLA by the hair as he tosses him towards the ropes but TLA grabs onto the ropes hanging on as he taunts Liam to come at him! Liam charges in as TLA drops under the ropes sliding between Liam’s legs! Liam turns around… Enzuigiri from TLA connects!!!
Deadprez: Liam drops down to the mat as TLA positions himself over him. TLA salutes to the crowd as he grabs Liam Archer around the midsection… MEXICAN DESTROYER CONNECTS!!! TLA WITH THE COVER!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Here is your winner… T!!!!!!!! L!!!!!!!!!!! A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac blasts across the speakers to cheers from the crowd as TLA has his arm raised by the referee.)
Pierre: TLA did it! TLA starting off Season 12 on a positive note as he gets back on track after his loss at PFP!
Deadprez: Liam Archer put in a good effort but TLA refused to let him use his hardcore brawler style instead forcing the match into a high flying lucha style match. However, the season is just beginning for these wrestlers we will see what Showdown has in store for them as the year rolls on!
(The camera cuts to a commercial for Midsummer Massacre featuring the goat Showdown brand!)
(The camera cuts backstage where TLA is shown celebrating his victory with some of his homies and bitches as they pass the blunt.)
TLA: Yo this is some good shit holmes who brought this?
(Nobody seems to have any idea what is going on.)
TLA: Yo I gotta tell y’all and tell all the people out there that La Pantera Sexual doin’ shit big this season. Like if y’all thought the REVOLT! Welterweight Championship was big y’all ain’t season nothing yet. Amigos we goin’ all the way to the top I give no fucks this year. I am wildin’ if they say I be wildin’ but last year I got right up in the face of that World Championship. This year imma beat it’s ass and wrap it all up ‘round this waist like a boss. Even the Showdown GM gonn’ be callin’ yo boi jefe after all is said and done. As for the Poon Palace we expanding. We already got a club in erry city we need two. We already got two clubs in erry city we need three. There gotta be more Poon Palaces than McDonalds n shit out there cuz we be lettin’ the world really have it they own way and that ain’t just a slogan. We got the hottest mamis out. Big business goin’ thru here. World Champion. Worldwide.
???: Oh you think you special huh?
(Suddenly Cody Marshall appears wearing a blue “Make Showdown Great Again” hat and drinking a can of Budweiser as he arrives on the scene.)
Cody Marshall: Yep I seen it all with my own eyes I reckon. Señor TLA with all due respect who the hell do you think you are huh? See that’s the problem with you people. You think you can come all up into my country without my permission and act like you run the damn place! Now not even my brand Showdown is safe! Now I’ll be damned if I see this great nation be represented by the likes of you! Showdown needs a World Champion that the people can respect and relate to! Diamond Cage ain’t that man! TLA sure as shit ain’t that hombre! The only man capable of bringing Showdown back to it’s glory days is me! Cody Marshall! I will continue the example set by great founding fathers of the EAW nation… men like Jacob Senn. Just like him I like to down a few cold ones and fire off a few rounds as I drive my truck through the trailer park. Like a real American! Not only that but I will not hesitate to practice my second amendment rights if I gotta. I am armed, locked, and loaded and I am fixin’ to drive yo kind off Showdown and out of this country for good! OUT! OUT! OUT!
(TLA is shown laughing with his vatos and not paying attention as Cody Marshall takes out his pistol and points it at TLA as his Poon Palace bitches run away in fear.)
TLA: Ay holmes tranquilo. This ain’t that serious. I ain’t looking to get shot over some lucha shit! Go take yo gringo school shooter rage elsewhere. I heard SSW is down with that shit.
Cody Marshall: I am going to blast and fill yo ass up with FREEDOM!
(Cody Marshall starts blasting his pistol as TLA falls back off his chair.)
Cody Marshall: DO YOU FEEL THE POWER OF ‘MURICA NOW ESE?
(TLA looks up and notices that the gun shot out an American flag which Cody Marshall is now waving around in the air with his hand on his chest.)
TLA: Dawg what the fuck are you even doing? Fuck outta here with yo shit! I been on Showdown for like three months at this point. I ain’t coming up into shit. Besides I can go wherever the fuck I want homie. You ain’t the boss of me motherfucker. I am goin’ after that gold whether you like it or not. You wanna stop me holmes you best step to me cuz imma knock all my haters down no matter who the fuck they is. You gotta take a break from the sauce dawg cuz it gettin’ yo culo into some shit you ain’t prepared for. I took Hall of Famers to the limit last year you ain’t fucking with no New Breed division level rookie you fuckin’ with a real veterano. Watch yo step dawg or imma send you back down to the trailer park to bang it out with yo primo Jacob Senn until he gets you pregnant ya heard? I ain’t goin’ nowhere ese how ‘bout you get the fuck out instead? OUT! OUT! OUT!
(TLA continues to chant “OUT! OUT! OUT!” at Cody Marshall who starts backing away as his face turns red in anger.)
Cody Marshall: This ain’t the last you gonna be hearing of me! You gonna learn some respect boy!
(Cody Marshall storms out as TLA puts his feet up on his chair and keeps on blazing it up.)
(Camera transitions back to the arena as Aaron Fitzpatrick prepares for our next match)
(“God’s Gonna Cut You Down” by Johnny Cash blasts through the arena as Cody Marshall appears at the top of the ramp, starts to walk down to the ring)
Aaron: Introducing first, From Dallas, Texas weighing in at 305 lbs Cody Marshall!
(‘For Whom The Bell Tolls’ – Metallica plays throughout the arena as The Revenant begins to walk down the ramp)
Aaron: introducing next, Now residing in Chicago, Illinois weighing in at 247 lbs The Revenant!!!
(“Can’t Be Touched” by Roy Jones Jr. beings to pulse through the arena, as it continues to play there is no sign of Terry Chambers at the entrance)
Pierre McGuire: That’s Terry’s music playing but no sign of Terry, I have a terrible feeling about this!
Deadprez: Yes this is totally unlike Terry Chambers, I hope everything is ok.
(“Can’t Be Touched” by Roy Jones Jr. begins to once again play throughout the arena, but still no sign of Terry video feed from a backstage begins to come over the titantron)
Pierre McGuire: Look up at the video screen, is that backstage? Who is that on the ground! OH GOD!
Deadprez: Pierre that’s Terry, ladies, and gentlemen this is a serious turn of events here, Terry Chambers doesn’t look as if he is going to be able to compete here tonight.
RA: Ladies and Gentlemen it looks as though Terry Chambers will be unable to compete here tonight, this match will now be contested under singles match rules!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Pierre McGuire: Feel bad for Terry but in this business the must always go on, these two men Cody and The Revenant are like hungry sharks, they look to take advantage of Terry’s absence here as both men lock up in the center of the collar and elbow tie up.
Deadprez: Cody sends The Revenant into the ropes off the tie up, The Revenant comes back leaping over Cody, as he bounces off the ropes again, this time Cody drops under him as both men stop and come back to the center of the ring.
Pierre Mcguire: What a display of athleticism we are singing in that ring, both men lock up again, The Revenant with the upper hand now with a headlock on Cody Marshall, Cody struggling to get free but does as he counters with a headlock of his own, taking The Revenant to the ground in the process.
Deadprez: The Revenant rolling through though back again with another headlock of his own, cutting the air supply off to the brain of Cody Marshall, Cody running out of time has to think quick!
Pierre McGuire: Cody Marshal wrapping those huge legs around the head of The Revenant now with a beautiful head scissor now the air being taken away from The Revenant, but quickly The Revenant with a kip up and both men back to their feet quickly in the center of the ring, what a back and forth match we have thus far!
Deadprez: Cody Marshall running toward The Revenant with a full head of steam as he tries for a clothesline The Revenant ducks under it off the ropes and comes back with a bicycle kick to the face of Cody, Rev now quick to the cover!
REF: ONEEE!! TWOOOO!!!! KICKOUT!!!!
Pierre McGuire: Not quite enough yet as Cody Marshal powers out but Rev still with the upper hand, he keeps this match on the ground locking in a police armbar.
Deadprez: The Revenant has that armbar tightly locked in Cody might have no choice but to tap out here!
Pierre McGuire: Cody fighting trying to get out of this armbar, kicks to the head of The Revenant each one landing flush with its mark!
Deadprez; The fight in both of these men, Cody now finding his way back to a vertical base but has his legs swept out from under him! and back down to the ground he goes The Revenant trying to lock that armbar back in but Cody rolling away to fast, now standing up on the apron, The revenant grabs a hold of him!
Pierre McGuire: OH no possible way he’s going to bring him back in with this! THE ASYLUM LOCK! THE REVENANT HAS DRAGGED CODY MARSHALL BACK INTO THE RING WITH A SUBMISSION HOLD!
Deadprez: It’s locked in tight nowhere to go center of the ring!!!
Pierre McGuire: CODY MARSHALL IS TAPPING OUT!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(‘For Whom The Bell Tolls’ – Metallica blasts through the arena as The Revenant celebrates his victory)
Aaron: Here is your winning by way of submission!!! “THEEE REVENANTTT” MICHAELL BISHOOPPPP!!!
Pierre: Well he surely proved he deserves a championship match right then and there with his performance against Cody Marshall, and new developments are coming about what happened to Terry Chambers as well but what a victory for Michael Bishop!
(Commercial Break – The EAW 2018 Hall of Fame Ceremony, On Demand! On the EAW Network)
(Blackout by Breathe Carolina hits the speakers and Ahren Fournier walks out to a raucous reaction, part boos, part cheers, very loud. He stops at the top of the ramp to show off his three piece suit, and Interwire Championship, before making his way to the ring)
Deadprez: Look at this man Pierre! So stylish, so classy! SO… Dare I say.. GOAT! Finally we have a champion that we can be proud of! Good riddance Prince of Mediocre.
Pierre: Now Prez be nice, POP is a great champion! Voltage got a top quality wrestler on their brand now. But I think we have the future here. Our first pick, the Interwire Champion, Ahren Fournier! He’s been on a tear as of late, I wonder what he wants?
Deadprez: Well if you just shut up and listened to the GOAT of GOATS speak, I’m sure we’d find the answer to that question.
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Ladies and gentleman at this time would you please welcome The GOAT Champion.. The Interwire Champion… Ahren Fournier!
(Ahren steps onto the ring apron and directs the ring announcer to come hold the ropes for him. The ring announcer is timid but does as he’s told. Ahren stands in the ring with his head down, and lifts up the Interwire Championship. The ring announcer gives him a mic)
Ahren: *ahem* I have a question for all of you people here tonight… It’s a rather simple one, so it should be easy to keep up… How do you spell GOAT?
Ahren: That’s right! And I prove it day in and day out. People have been trying to toss their opinions into my GOAT stew when I don’t even ask for it.. it’s not a part of the recipe! If I were to add their ingredients into this homemade recipe, I would ruin the stew! No one likes a ruined stew now do we? So when I walked into Pain For Pride against the biggest overrated pile of dog shit that has ever busted in EAW, what do you think people thought would happen?
(Ahren looks around to the audience to see if they know the answer sarcastically)
Ahren: That’s right again, everyone thought that I would lose. Proving that the GOAT Championship reign was nothing but a farce. But I had other plans in mind, as I took Lars Grier, and showed the world exactly who he is! An underachieving side show that will never reach his full potential. That was Pain For Pride, a proving ground for real talent, and I proved myself no doubt. Fast forward to the draft show and I’m in a champions battle to determine who truly is the best champion in EAW. Again my dear audience, what do you think the consensus thought for what the result of that match would be?
(Ahren again walks around the ring trying to see if people know the answer)
Ahren: That’s right! They thought I would lose! But damn if I didn’t just prove them wrong yet again. I mean really, the GOAT Champion, lose? In a all Champions match? What kind of GOAT Champion would I be if I were to lose in a match that I basically talked into existence? It was my showcase! The GOAT Champion, versus all the pretending paper champions! Think of it this way, had all the titles been on the line? I would’ve had all the gold. The match was a forgone conclusion from the moment the match was announced. I don’t lose to other champions, it’s just not in my blood. The World Heavyweight Champion, the National Elite Champion, the Hardcore Champion, and 2 times a New Breed Champion have crumbled under the pressure of facing off against the GOAT! No champion has ever been able to defeat me! I’m sorry to disappoint all of you that expect me to keep falling apart and not back up what I say, but this is real. If you didn’t know after the champion vs champions match, you would’ve known by the first pick Showdown had. Let’s think back at that moment, that moment that EAW changed. The pick was in, and the name called?? WITH SHOWDOWNS FIRST PICK IN THE EAW DRAFT… THEY SELECT… AHREN FOURNIER!! First to Showdown, second overall, finally, I get what I deserve, I get my respect. Hurdle after hurdle, I do nothing but prove myself to the world! Showdown made the smartest decision they possibly could have, and now we all get to reap the benefits! So in celebration for the emergence of GOATdown, I shall lead you all in a cheer in my native tongue… *ahem* BAAAAAAAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAAAAAA
Crowd: BAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAA BAAAAAA
Ahren: GOOD! GOOD EVERYONE! BAAAAAA!
(Ice Tray by Quavo hits the crowd explodes with cheers, as they lift to their feet. HBB walks out onto the stage with what seems to be a disappointed look on his face)
HBB: What the hell is going on out here? A champion that is acting like a farm animal? What kind of joke is this? Ahren, I thought you were supposed to be a serious ass kicker now; but this is who you are? I waited patiently to meet the great Ahren Fournier, but I couldn’t take that embarrassment any longer, I needed to come out here and put an end to this stupidity.
Ahren: Oh.. Look everyone it’s the Heart Break Boy! Eh, I think you’ve actually outgrown that moniker.. let’s give you something a little bit more fitting.. It’s the Heart Break Man! No wait.. that can’t be it either, you’re not breaking hearts anymore… It’s the Man! .. Old Man.. Eh, sure why not.. Back from the grave again I see. I must say that this is a surprise, I thought Prince of Phenomenal was actually successful in getting rid of you once and for all. I’m glad Death allowed you to walk the earth again for tonight, that was real nice of him.
HBB: Yeah, make your little jokes about my age, I’ve heard it. Seriously is that all you got? I thought you were supposed to be different, but it feels like I’m just in another repeat of Showdown. See Ahren, there’s been a thousand champions here like you. Everyone wins their title and proclaims themselves to be the best *insert championship* that there has ever been. They always say that the person that held it before them didn’t hold the title with prestige, and they’re the ones to do it. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve been great with that title… But…
Ahren: Hmmm, I see. Taking shots at the GOAT Champion? That’s fair, I mean I asked you to come out here while I was celebrating my win, and 1st draft pick.. Oh wait.. No.. I really didn’t. You just seem like a bitter old man, that can’t come to terms with the man that he’s become. No longer is the name HBB revered as a name with any legitimacy behind it. You have the past, but you don’t have the present. You’re right, we’ve seen this show before. HBB comes out here, begging for attention with another champion.. We saw it on Dynasty when you lost in that Answers World Championship match. We saw it again with POP in that National Elite Championship match.. We’ve seen it… Before. HBB I would have more to say to you if you actually had more things to be said about you. Your life is on an endless hamster wheel. You come here, you get a title match, you lose! That’s your schlick. It gets all the fat 40 year old virgins all excited, maybe gives a few heart attacks, and everyone loves it… Then you ride off into the sunset once you fail in what you tried to accomplish, until you find the bug to lose in a title match again… Yes you’re right, we’ve seen this show before, and you’re the puppet master pulling the strings to have it be so.
HBB: Ha, you seem a little salty there Ahren. You don’t like the fact that I’m given title matches regularly? Too bad. I’ve earned the right to come and go as I please, and get what I want, when I want, regardless of any outcome. You would know the feeling if you were actually GOAT, and have done everything I’ve done in this business. And it is because I am who I am that I can come out here and-
Ahren: Eh Eh Eh… let me stop you right there H.. Let me guess, you came out here to ask for a title match? You wanna throw on those nice spandex tights to show off for those teenage girls that are no longer in your demographic… Show off that old withered body. And show that the HBB still has what it takes? You want one more shot at glory by taking out the GOAT? Any chance of relevancy you can still get huh?.. You want a shot at my Interwire Championship… That’s why you’re here right?
HBB: Ahren I’m not just here to ask for a title shot. I’m getting a title shot whether you like it or not, and I’m going to shut your mouth in the process! Because as we all know that is long overdue. You come out here stating you’re the GOAT champion, saying that you’re the GOAT of GOAT’s but I have news for you, you’re looking at the very best EAW has ever had bar none, and I won’t hesitate to take your livelihood away in regards to that title. You think you’re the best champion that’s ever lived because you were able to beat some overhyped nobodies? Let’s see you put your money where your mouth is, and get In the ring with the best that’s ever been?
(Ahren looks around the crowd as they cheer on looking for him to say yes. Ahren is playing it up to the crowd)
Ahren: You think I should accept crowd?!!
Ahren: YOU WANT TO SEE THE PAST GOAT HEART BREAK BOY VS. THE CURRENT GOAT AHREN FOURNIER IN THIS RING?!!
Crowd: YES! YES! YES!
Ahren: WELL THEN!! HBB! LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!!! … Gee that sucks man.. Because it’s not gonna happen. Not tonight, not next week, not ever
(The crowd starts loudly booing)
Ahren: What the hell is that noise? It is very unfamiliar to me.. Are you displeased with the GOAT’s decision? Well, I’m sorry to say that I make the decisions around here. You can’t just force your way into an undeserved title shot! You fans can’t will a title shot that is not even warranted! HBB, I’m doing you a favor. We don’t want you out here embarrassing yourself yet again, getting a shot you don’t deserve, and yet again failing. There’s only so much past legacy that can get you by until you start tarnishing it. So I’m doing exactly what POP should’ve done, and saying… No. Find another champion to sponge the spotlight off of. I hear Payne For Pride needs a boost, go ask him.
Ahren: No, we’re done here! Truck! Play my music!
(Blackout by Breathe Carolina plays, as Ahren lifts up the Interwire Championship over his head directed to HBB. The camera pans to HBB shaking his head in disapproval)
Pierre: I don’t understand Ahrens thought process here. HBB is a Hall of Famer, considered one of the greatest of all time, wouldn’t he want to prove his GOAT status against someone like that?
Deadprez: No Pierre! You dumb idiot! HBB is past his prime, and has shown again and again that he’s not capable of handling this quality of talent. It’s better for him to just ride off into the sunset! What would it prove? That Ahren can beat up an 100 year old man? Cool, anyone can do that. Ahren did the right thing here!
Pierre: Well either way things are heating up here, and I hope we haven’t seen the final encounter of these two quite yet!
(‘Hard’ by No Jumper, Tay-K and Blocboy JB blares throughout the arena as The Core Brothers and MoneyMaker Mike walk out onto the stage, and down to the ring)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: introducing first.. From Baltimore, Maryland… Weighing in at 406 pounds… The Coooooorreeee Broothhheerrssss!
Pierre: This is going to be a brutal contest here tonight Deadprez! Two of the best tag teams in EAW today are going into a collision course against each other! Hold onto your hats!
Deadprez: I’m not wearing a hat.. Clearly you don’t know me at all, because if you did you’d know that I never wear hats! Anyway yeah these two teams are just on the cusp of getting those tag team championships!
(Warriors by Imagine Dragons plays as the Dragon Slayers walk onto the stage. They walk down the ramp and stop at the ring apron.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: And there opponents.. Weighing in at 407 pounds.. The Dragon Slaaaayyyyerrs!!
Pierre: These two are just bound to break out soon! They performed quite admirably at Pain For Pride, and I can see big things in their future.. But they need to beat The Core Brothers here to assert their dominance!
Deadprez: I’m ready to go Pierre! Let’s see who the best tag team on Showdown.. Which obviously means all of EAW too.. IS!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Pierre: Here we go Rico and Sam Steele are going to start off here. Oh Rico starting off fast as he walks up to Sam and just kicks him in the stomach, and delivers a quick tornado DDT. He keeps a hold of the head, rolls up, and delivers another! He rolls back up, and he’s going for another! But Sam is able to back Rico back up into the corner! A knife edge chop to the chest, and another! Sam now lifts Rico up onto the turnbuckle, and looks up at Rico, what’s he thinking here? Oh my! A standing hurricanrana to Rico, and he flies into the middle of the ring! What a move. Sam now picking Rico up, and drives a knee right into the back of Rico. Rico might have hurt his back after that hurricanrana, and Sam is taking advantage of it. He picks Rico back up and delivers a fierce backbreaker! Sam now drags Rico by his hair over to his corner, and tags Mike Shaw in. Sam holds Rico in as Mike gets on the other side. Double suplex! Marco is on the other side of the ring yelling at the ref that.
Deadprez: Well you do know that double teams are strictly prohibited, he has a point here! Now Mike Shaw drags Rico up and drives him into the corner, and delivers a slap to the face! How rude. Mike backs up and runs right at Rico and delivers a hard drop kick to the face! That looked like it hurt! Mike rolls Rico up in a pin!
Ref: One! Two!
Deadprez: But Rico is able to kick out. Rico is trying to get to his corner, and tag in the fresh Marco, but Mike is able to cut off the ring and stop him dead in his tracks. Mike lifts his foot up and just stomps on Ricos head, and again! Mike now turns to Marco and starts taunting Marco! Oh Marco isn’t going to just take it! Here he comes! No! The ref steps in his way and tells him to get out of the ring. But Marco is yelling right back at the ref! But here comes Sam from behind! Elbow drop from the top rope! And he rolls back out of the ring. Mike lifts Rico back up, and delivers a belly to belly suplex! Rico is in pain here, he needs to tag out if the Core Brothers want to have any chance of actually winning this match. Mike is over taunting Marco again, and Marco is jawing right back! The ref is trying to break the two up, and while the ref is pre occupied here comes Sam again! He goes over to the downed Rico, and takes a leg. But Rico is able to roll onto his back, and kick Sam in the face! Sam goes flying, and Rico has an opening here!
Pierre: Rico comes over, and just spears the shit out of Mike! Rico is sitting down in the corner, and Marco is just able to reach over the ropes, and FINALLY he’s able to get in this match! Marco runs right at Mike and clotheslines him; Mike gets right back up but is greeted with a huge powerslam! Sam comes running back into the ring, and delivers a fierce clothesline! No! Marco ducks under it, and delivers a superkick! Right to his face! Sam rolls out of the ring, and Marco is left in the ring with Mike! Mike is trying to get up, but Marco sees, and runs right at him! Shining Wizard! It stuns Mike! He goes for the pin!
Ref: One! Two! Thr-
Pierre: No! Mike kicks out. Marco picks Mike back up and gives him a swift spin kick to the gut, and follows it up with a european uppercut! Inverted atomic drop, Marco is on a roll here! He picks Mike up again, and delivers a spinebuster! And it looks like he’s going to go up. He’s standing on top of that turnbuckle, and he leaps! TALENT PERSONIFIED! Oh no! Mike rolled out of the way, Marco rolls through, and spins right into a SUPERKICK! NO! Marco caught the foot, he spins Mike around now, HE HAS HIM! GREEN LIGHT! It hit, but Mike rolls out of the ring! I don’t know if that was something he chose to do, or that knee was just so vicious that the momentum forced him out! Marco now looking around. It looks like he has something in mind. The ref is over by the ropes where Mike is trying to get back to his feet on the outside. Oh here comes Marco, Senton over the referee over the top rope! RIGHT ON MIKE!
(Marco jumps back to his feet and throws his fist in the air as celebration. He goes over to the crowd, and one of the fans offers him a beer. Marco takes it and downs it.)
Deadprez: Very impressive, but now he’s celebrating with the crowd! He is drinking on the job, when he should be focusing on the match. He’s out here getting drunk! What a disgrace, why would he do something like that? KIDS WATCH THIS SHOW! See kids, that is why you don’t get dropped on your head when you’re born! Marco now coming back to Mike and throws him back into the ring, and follows right after. Rico is reaching out looking for a tag, and again Marco is playing to the crowd! He’s getting too cocky!
Marco: You want Rico? You wanna get hit with the RICO???!
Deadprez: Rico is getting into it too! He’s looking out at the crowd! He’s not even paying attention to the ring! He has his hands up, enjoying all the cheers! Oh look! Mike on the other side has crawled over to Sam, and he tags him in! Here comes Sam Steele! Mike is too busy asking the fans if he should tag Rico in or not! Marco turns around, but it’s not in time as Sam runs over and delivers a double foot drop kick to the back of Marco! It sends him flying into the back of Rico, who isn’t even paying attention! BRAAINNNBUSSTTTEERRR! Sam Steele hits the Brainbuster on Marco, and goes for the cover!
Ref: One! Two! Three!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(Warriors by Imagine Dragons play as Mike Shaw runs into the ring, and lifts up the arm of Sam Steele.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: And the winners of this match…. THE DRAGON SLAAAAAYYYYYYEEEEERRRRSSSS!!!
Pierre: Well that was quite the turn of events, for the longest time I thought the Dragon Slayers had the match, and then it switched and I thought the Core Brothers had it.. But at the end of it all, the Dragon Slayers were the ones that were able to take the win.
Deadprez: I believe that if the Core Brothers could’ve kept the cockiness in check, they would’ve most definitely won the match here. Unfortunately they got caught up in all the ruckus that the crowd was providing, and had to showboat. It’s a rough loss here for them, but a learning experience. Nice win by the Dragon Slayers.
Pierre: Well I’m sure it’s not the last time we’ll see these two teams against each other. It’s only the beginning of this battle between these two teams.
( FINAL COMMERCIAL BREAK — UP NEXT THE EAW CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH BETWEEN DIAMOND CAGE AND DAMON DIESEL)
(EAW Championship Graphic is shown)
(Camera pans to Aaron Fitzpatrick standing in the center of the ring)
Fitzpatrick: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SET FOR ONE FALL!!! AND IT IS FOR THE ELITE ANSWERS WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP!!
(“You Only Live Once”(Instrumental) By Suicide Silence hits as Damon Diesel makes his entrance walking down to the ring stoically)
Pierre: What an opportunity for this young man who is going to go one on one with the tenacious EAW World Champion, he has an opportunity to make history in this season at the very beginning.
Deadprez: Cage has dropped the ball before and crazier things have happened, but tonight if he drops the ball I don’t think we’ll ever see Cage around here again. What a blessing.
(“Smells Like Teen Spirit” By Nirvana hits as Diamond Cage storms through the curtain wearing a dark black hoodie with the EAW Championship strapped around his waist)
Pierre: Once again another THUNDEROUS ovation for the current reigning EAW Champion defending his championship for the first time here tonight!
Deadprez: Bleh, bleh, I still think stranger things are about to happen and Cage is going to lose that EAW Championship, he has a dark cloud over his head and he always has.
(Camera transitions to both competitors standing inside the ring as Aaron Fitzpatrick prepares to do the introductions)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: INTRODUCING FIRST!! IN THE CORNER TO MY LEFT!! FROM ORLANDO FLORIDA!! WEIGHING IN AT 205 POUNDS!!! “The Wrestling Machine” DAAAMONNNNN DIESELLLLLLLLLL!!!
(Damon raises his hands in the air before camera cuts to Diamond Cage who unstraps the EAW Championship from around his waist)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Introducing the champion, from Edmonton Alberta, Canada! WEIGHTING IN AT 225 POUNDS!! THE CURRENT REIGNING AND DEFENDING ELITE ANSWERS WRESTLING WORLD CHAMPION!! “Explicit Content” DIAAAAMONNND CAGEEEEE!!!
(Cage hoist the championship high in the air before handing it to the referee who holds it high in the air for display before handing it to the timekeepers area)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: AND THERE’S THE BELL!! Cage and Damon meet in the center of the ring! And they meet for a collar and elbow tie up! Cage once again competing against a guy who prides himself on his wrestling technique but he’s shown he is fully capable of trading holds! Damon immediately gains control of the shoulder of Cage and begins working over it! Cage though firing a right hand! I doubt Damon wants to get into a slugfest with Cage as Cage immediately breaks that hold! Cage follows up with a stinging Knife Edge Chop that can be heard all throughout this arena! Damon though quickly slaps on a side headlock and wrestles Cage down to the mat with a side headlock take down! And he tightens his hold around the neck of Cage!
Pierre: Cage though, muscling himself right back up onto his feet! He rises! Damon though quickly releases the headlock, AND FIRES A BIG EUROPEAN UPPERCUT TO THE JAW OF CAGE! Cage staggered a bit but Damon delivers another HUGE uppercut! Cage knocked into the corner, Damon returning the favor as he delivers A LOUD OPEN HANDED CHOP TO THE CHEST OF CAGE! Damon lifting Cage and places him on the top turnbuckle looking for high impact here in the early going, Damon climbing up as well and goes for a front facelock! AND HE’S TRYING FOR A SUPERPLEX OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!
Deadprez: CAGE THOUGH!! HE’S BLOCKING! AND HE SENDS A HEADBUTT TO DAMON!! Cage is known for using his own skull as a weapon! But Cage quickly pushing Damon off the top rope as he falls to the canvas, Cage setting himself on the turnbuckle! He’s perched and waiting for Damon to turn around who just got to his feet! CAGE JUMPS!! But he’s caught… Damon has his arms wrapped around Cage AND HE SENDS HIM OVERHEAD WITH A BIG BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!! Cage crashing to the canvas hard! Damon able to keep up with the EAW Champion so far, he aggressively grabs Cage to his feet, AND SENDS AN AGGRESSIVE FOREARM SMASH TO THE FACE OF CAGE!! Jesus Cage just dropped to his knees, Damon grabbing the champion up again, AND HE FIRES ANOTHER STIFF FOREARM SMASH TO THE FACE OF CAGE! Cage though, he’s rising up and he stares Damon right into his eyes! AND HE CHALLENGES HIM TO HIT HIM AGAIN!! Damon grabbing Cage AND HE BEGINS TEEING OFF WITH REPEATED FOREARM SMASHES INTO THE FACE OF CAGE!! STIFF SHOTS!! Cage isn’t down down, DAMON RUNS OFF THE ROPES!! AND HE SENDS A BIG BOOT KNOCKING CAGE TO THE ROPES!!
Pierre: CAGE KNOCKED INTO THE ROPES!! BUT HE REBOUNDS!! REBOUND LARIAT!! DAMON!! GO BEHIND WITH THE WAIST LOCK!! AND HE HOOKS CAGE LOOKING FOR THE GERMAN SUPLEX!! Cage though driving his elbow into the face of Damon, Cage runs off the ropes! CLOTHESLINE! Damon pops right back up to his feet, AND CAGE CONNECTS WITH ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE! Damon up but Cage meets him as soon as he gets to his feet, KNIFE EDGE CHOP! PUNCH! CHOP! PUNCH! CHOP! PUNCH! CHOP! PUNCH! Cage unloading before he lifts Damon on his shoulders, USHIGOROSHI!! FIREMAN’S CARRY NECKBREAKER! BUT HE SOMEHOW COUNTERS IT INTO A KIMURA!! HE WAS ABLE TO TRANSITION HIS BODY INTO HOOKING THE ARM!! I DON’T THINK EVEN A BROKEN ARM WOULD CAUSE CAGE TO LOSE THAT EAW CHAMPIONSHIP AND DAMON LOOKS FULLY INTENT ON BREAKING THE MAN’S ARM!!
Deadprez: Cage looking at the opposite corner! AND HE RUNS WITH DIESEL AND DRIVES HIS BACK RIGHT INTO THE CORNER!! BUT DAMON DOESN’T BREAK THE HOLD!! CAGE BACKING UP!! AND HE RUNS!! AND RUNS DIESEL INTO THE CORNER AGAIN!! Damon though REFUSES TO BREAK IT!! CAGE!! HE USES HIS FREE ARM TO HOOK AROUND THE HEAD OF DAMON!! AND HE POWERS HIM UP!! CAGE!! MERCY RULE!! BRAINBUSTER DRIVING HIS RIGHT INTO THE CANVAS!! AND CAGE HOOKS THE LEG!!
Pierre: HE KICKS OUT!! DAMON SHOWING HE’S STILL AROUND AFTER CAGE PULLING OUT WHAT LOOKS LIKE A LAST RESORT!! Cage favoring that right arm! He still mustered enough strength to connect with that Brainbuster, Cage rising up to his feet and he’s signaling that he’s ending this match right here! Cage stalking Damon who is rising up to his feet, Cage hooks him from behind! WRIST LOCK!! TRANSITIONED! MURDER, DEATH!!! KIL- DAMN KICKS AT THAT RIGHT ARM!! Cage falls! Damon grabbing Cage AND PULLS HIM DOWN APPLYING A FUJIWARA ARMBAR!! AND HE’S PULLING AND TUGGING BACK ON THAT ARM AND CAGE IS SHOUTING OUT IN PAIN!!! DON’T EXPECT A TAP OUT FROM CAGE!! HE’LL DIE IN THAT RING!!
Deadprez: DAMON BETTER BREAK HIS DAMN ARM IF HE WANTS TO WALK OUT OF HERE WITH THE EAW CHAMPIONSHIP!! CAGE!! HE SLIPS OUT OF THE ARMBAR!! AND HE TRAPS THE ARM OF DAMON!!! CRIPPLER CROSSFACE!! CAGE WRENCHING BACK!! HE’S PULLING BACK AND DAMON DOESN’T WANT TO TAP OUT AS WELL!! CAGE DEMANDING HE GIVES UP!! DAMON THOUGH!! HE GRABS THE ANKLE OF CAGE!! AND HE TRANSITIONS INTO AN ANKLE LOCK!! HE HAS CAGE LOCKED DEAD CENTER WITH THAT ANKLE LOCK AND HE’S PULLING AT THAT ANKLE OF CAGE!! TWISTING IT!! Cage, rolling himself onto his back!AND HE PUSHES OFF DAMON! Damon up as Cage, hobbles up to his feet, ROLLING ELBOW!! DISCUS ELBOW TO CAGE BY DAMON!!
Pierre: Damon hooking Cage, oh my god, the anticipation in this building is growing, Damon maybe on the verge of becoming EAW Champion. HE PLACES CAGE BETWEEN HIS LEGS!! HE’S GOING FOR GAME OVER!! Cage! HE BACK BODY DROPS DAMON! Sending him over to the apron! Cage hobbling over to Damon, WHO SENDS A SHOULDER TO THE MID-SECTION OF CAGE THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPE! Cage hunched over as Damon SUNSET FLIP GAMEOVER!! SUNSET FLIP PILEDRIVER!! HE DRIVES CAGE RIGHT ON HIS DAMN HEAD AND DAMON HOOKS THE LEG!!
Deadprez: CAGE!! HE KICKS OUT!! HE POPS HIS SHOULDER UP!! REFUSING TO RELINQUISH THE GOLD!! THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE! Damon is shocked and all of us though he had made history in this arena but Cage won’t go down! Damon isn’t concerning himself with Cage surviving that brutal adjustment Game Over move as he grabs Cage up again! HE’S LOOKING TO GO FOR THE SPINNING BOMB! BUT CAGE!!! HE WIGGLES HIMSELF OUT OF IT AND DROPS DOWN!!! DAMON GOES FOR ANOTHER DISCUS ELBOW!! HE CONNECTS!!!
Pierre: HE KNOCKS CAGE INTO THE ROPES!! BUT CAGE REBOUNDS!! AND HE COMES INTO A BOOT TO THE FACE!! Damon FIRING WITH A FOREARM!!! AND HEADBUTT!! AND CAGE RESPONDS WITH A SPINNING BACKFIST!!! AND HE COMES BACCK WITH ANOTHER!!! AND HE SWINGS FOR THE DISCUS LARIAT!!!
Deadprez: DAMON DUCKS!!! PELE KICK!! CAGE EVADES THE MOVE!!! STAGGERING HEADBUTT!! JESUS!! Cage just used his head as a battering ram! And he goes behind Damon WRIST LOCK!! TRANSITIONED!! AND HE INSTEAD USES HIS HEAD AS THE STRIKE AND COLLIDES HIS SKULL ONCE AGAIN WITH DAMON’S!! JESUS CHRIST!! CAGE ISN’T DONE!! HE STILL HAS THE HAND OF DAMON!! HE DRAGS HIS LIFELESS BODY UP!! MURDER!! DEATH KILL!! LARIAT TURNING DAMON INSIDE OUT AND CAGE HOOKS THE LEG!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Smells Like Teen Spirit” By Nirvana hits as Cage is out on the canvas winded but the EAW Championship is handed to him as he holds onto it)
Fitzpatrick: HEERE IS YOUR WINNERRR… AND STILL EAW WORLD CHAMPION!! DIAMONDDD CAGEEEEEE!!!
Pierre: It was a tough battle but Cage is once again the EAW Champion and he once again proves why he is at the top of his game, one of the best we have in EAW right now and he is the figure head of this season and what a performance he has been putting on!
Deadprez: Are you seeing what I’m seeing? Look at Cage, he doesn’t even know where he is, the referee is talking to him and nobody is home! He’s been using his head as a weapon for too long and it’s only a matter of time before it catches up to him!
(Camera shows Cage hobbling up and raising his EAW Championship before he drops it and drops to a knee and is quickly helped up by the official but Cage pushes him away as he raises the EAW title up once again)
Pierre: Albeit, Cage is still the EAW Champion and through hell and high water it’s going to take one hell of an effort to take it away from him! I’m Pierre signing off for Deadprez, telling each and every single one of you at home, GOODNIGHT!!
(One last shot of the referee trying to help Cage to the back but Cage pushing him away and walking up the ramp under his own power)
(Camera fades to black)
(EAW Logo Buzzes)