Anna C. Flowers
(EAW Intro Plays)
(Camera opens to see the back parking lot of the Frank Erwin Center in Austin, Texas. The stars shine in night sky as fans have already piled inside for tonight’s show. A single valet stands outside of the performers entrance. The valet checks his watch after looking around and looking bored.)
Valet: Are they really expecting anyone to show up this late?
(Just as he speaks, a low rider convertible with the top down zips into the parking lot and screeches to a halt in front of him. Inside the vehicle is TLA in the driver’s seat wearing a Showdown blue suit and surrounded in all other seats by several cheering and squealing poons, including a scantily clad Michelle McGillislutty who has the Openweight Championship around her waist. TLA hops out of the car and tosses the keys to the valet as the poons also exit the car.)
TLA: Put it’s some place safe, amigo. I need my ride ready to go out and celebrate after tonight!
Valet: Oh! Uhh. Yes sir. Best spot available.
(TLA thanks the man and tips him $50 poon dollars. Just then one of the unnamed poons, a busty blond, places her hand on the young man’s shoulder and speaks softly to him.)
Poon: Its gonna be a big night. You should come see us later on…
Valet: Heh…. heheh….
(She lets her hand linger before walking away. The valet loses his balance and stumbles over, colliding with his valet booth and sending a number of keys flying onto the ground and off their marked hooks.)
Valet: Oh shit…
(The valet scrambles to remember which keys go to which hook when suddenly…)
*HONK HONK*
(A luxury town car has pulled up behind the low rider and is looking for a way around. The valet scrambles to remember which key is TLA’s.)
Valet: Uhhh… Uhh… ONE SECOND! SORRY!
(The rear passenger door of the luxury town car suddenly opens.)
???: Man, fuck it. You a private driver. Ain’t like I even need to wait for parking anyway.
(Malcolm Jones steps out of the car with his bag in hand. He reaches back inside the car and grabs his King of Elite crown before placing it on his head.)
Malcolm Jones: Tonight is about to be all about me. I ain’t about to let some dumb shit like this get in my way.
(Malcolm takes his things with him and walks to the building entrance. The valet stands stunned as the private driver steps out of the vehicle.)
Driver: Are you gonna move out of my way or what?
(“DNA” by Kendrick Lamar plays as the Showdown intro plays for the broadcast before cutting to the cheering crowd inside of the packed Frank Erwin Center.)
SCREENBAR — SOLD OUT
(The Camera pans over the fans cheering and chanting as several signs are seen such as “MAJESTIC SOSA”, “JUSTICE FOR SHANE”, and “THERE’S TOO MUCH WRESTLING THIS WEEK” before cutting to the commentary desk with Eve and Deadprez.)
Eve: HELLO EVERYONE! IT IS SATURDAY NIGHT AND THAT MEANS IT IS TIME ONCE AGAIN FOR EAW’S FLAGSHIP SHOW, SATURDAY NIGHT SHOWDOWN!!! I’m Eve, here along with the former AWF Champion himself, Deadprez!!
Deadprez: What’s up everyone? We’ve got a packed show here for you all tonight! After the… controversial… ending to last week’s Showdown, we are expecting a number of updates during tonight’s broadcast. But we can confirm that Drake King’s suspension has officially ended as he will be in active competition later tonight. And we’ve been given word that the EAW Champion, Ahren Fournier is expected to give a message later tonight.
Eve: That and we will see a major triple threat with quite a lot of buzz around it later tonight as Chris Elite looks to bounce back from his loss to Jack Ripley last week against the number one contender to the New Breed Championship, SOSA Henderson, and the man who most recently challenged Ahren Fournier, Jack Haze. Not to mention rumors that we may see even more participants for the Grand Rampage announced during tonight’s broadcast.
Deadprez: But first I have to ask you, Eve. Where do you think Hurricane Hawk’s head is at after what happened to Terry Chamber’s right in front of him last week? When is the last time we saw something so brutal happen on Showdown?
Eve: Well you’ve been doing this a lot longer than I have, DP. You’d know better than I would. But I can’t say I’ve seen anything like that on Showdown recently. Or a scenario in EAW where someone was left in such a condition with no medical staff around to handle it. Maybe back with Jamie O’Hara when the 1% put him out early this season but even he managed to get medical attention after the fact and make it to the hospital. Our General Manager was left to stare at Terry’s bloody mess until they were found later on by some arena staff. That’s an image that stays with you. We expect to get word directly from the EAW Hall of Famer… but I couldn’t possibly speak to his mental state after that. Especially after being played by the Round Table like he was that night.
(“No Regrets” by Pusha T hits the sound system to a big cheer as Hurricane Hawk walks out onto the stage and down the ramp towards the ring where we see Gina Romano with a microphone.)
Eve: Well I suppose we’re about to find out.
Gina Romano: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the General Manager of Saturday Night Showdown and EAW Hall of Famer… HURRICANE HAWK!!!!
(Hawk continues his walk down the ring, eyes almost lost in space as he walks. His shirt is wrinkled and he’s got five o’clock shadow on his face.)
Deadprez: Yeah, I don’t know what kind of state the GM is in but maybe he should’ve taken a week off.
(Hawk climbs the steps and enters the ring. Gina hands him a microphone and exits the ring as Hawk stands there, trying to form words.)
Crowd: HAWK! HAWK! HAWK! HAWK!
Hurricane Hawk: Don’t… please… just…
(The crowd dies down and watches quietly as Hawk puts his thoughts together.)
Hurricane Hawk: Thank you all. Really. I’m sorry. Just… just not tonight. Last week wasn’t an easy one to take on the chin. But it happened. I’m not out here to drag everyone down tonight. I do want to give a quick update. Terry Chambers was rushed to a medical facility once we were found. But the doctors are worried about how long he was left there. They got him in and worked on him. He survived… but we have no idea what the extent of the damage truly was and I don’t believe we will know for quite some time. So thank you to everyone who sent well wishes. Thank you to the fans who have supported Terry and his family. Thank you for being the greatest wrestling fans this industry has known.
(A sour look comes over Hawk’s face.)
Hurricane Hawk: And, after a review by the legal team, I have no choice but to announce that the Round Table will not be held accountable due to recorded verbal contract. Drake King and Jax Walker will partake in the Grand Rampage in two weeks. The Revolution will represent Showdown in a match for the Unified Tag Team Championships at the show as well.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(Hawk raises his hand up to calm the crowd.)
Hurricane Hawk: I’ve spent plenty of nights this week looking for a loophole around this but I’m afraid my hands are tied. It is what it is. But… we don’t have to let that ruin everything else. This is still Saturday Night Showdown and we are still the top brand in all of EAW! We still bring you the best talent, the best matches, the best overall wrestling there is!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Hurricane Hawk: So what we are gonna do to move forward is kick things off with a couple of announcements! First things first! The Grand Rampage match is an annual tradition and it’s the chance for any superstar, veteran or rookie, to prove themselves and earn the opportunity to challenge for a World Championship at Pain for Pride! Currently we already know Drake King, Justiciar Eric, Jax Walker, and Jack Haze have found their way into the match! But after recent work both on television episodes and house shows, I’m here to announce that MTV and Damon Diesel will both also be taking part in the big match! And also, by popular demand, Chudd will have a spot in the Grand Rampage as well!
Crowd: CHUDD! CHUDD! CHUDD! CHUDD!
Hurricane Hawk: That’s the one! And let’s not forget that Grand Rampage will see SOSA Henderson facing off with the Visual Prophet for the New Breed Championship!! Two rookies who have taken the EAW Universe by storm with amazing performances and showings ever since their debuts! I’m aware that Voltage… whatever her position is… Veena Adams has taken a personal interest in this matchup! What that means I don’t quite know yet but all in due time I suppose. But that’s all for the future! Tonight we still have a full show for everyone here! So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, EAW presents… SATURDAY NIGHT SHOWDOWN!!!
(“No Regrets” picks back up as Hawk exits the ring, waving to a number of fans before walking up the ramp, massaging his temples to relieve a headache he’d been hiding just as he walks through the curtain.)
Eve: Well, you heard the commissioner! Gina Romano is back in the ring and we are ready to get things underway with our first contest of the night!
(The camera opens to Gina Romano in the ring.)
Gina Romano: The following contest is a 4 Way Match and it is scheduled for one fall.
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
(Inception (Junkie XL Remix)” by Hanz Zimmer hits as Jason Mavis makes his entrance.)
Gina Romano: Introducing first from Wexford Town, Co. Wexford, Ireland weighing in at 192 pounds JASON “MAVERICK” MAAAAAAAAAVISSSSS!!!
Eve: Jason Mavis has come up short lately but he’s hoping to get things back on track tonight!
Deadprez: Winning this four way would go a long way to repairing his path!
(“Engines of Hate” by Nevermore hits as Adam Graves makes his entrance.)
Gina Romano: From Anchorage, Alaska weighing in at 320 pounds “The Great Decimator” ADAMMMMM GRRRRRAVES!!!
Deadprez: Adam Graves looks like one tough dude! Holmes is jacked!!!
Eve: You wish that you could do what he can in the gym Dead!!!
(“You Only Live Once” by Suicide Silence hits as Damon Diesel makes his entrance.)
Gina Romano: From Orlando, Florida weighing in at 215 pounds he is “The Pain Machine” DAMON DIEEEEEEESEL!!!!
Deadprez: Damon has a lot to answer for as he effectively cost his team in a big way last week.
Eve: He brawled to the outside with Jack Haze, effectively leaving Hurricane Hawk to fend for himself in a six man tag that ultimately led to… well. We all know how things went last week.
(“Buzzin’” by Mann hits as MTV makes his entrance.)
Gina Romano: From Staten Island, New York weighing in at 165 pounds… Morris Tremaine Valentino… M!!!!!!! T!!!!!!!! V!!!!!!!!
Eve: MTV has some impressive wins early on but tonight could be his biggest challenge yet.
Deadprez: I don’t think tonight’s gonna be his night with a guy like Graves in there, but you never know.
(All four men enter the ring as the referee calls for the bell.)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: Adam Graves flexes as his opponents cower in fear!
Eve: That’s not what they are doing Dead! Look MTV is stepping up!!! MTV rallying Damon Diesel and Jason Mavis to help him take down Graves! But Graves kicks MTV in the head with a Big Boot! And Damon Diesel sneaks up on Jason Mavis from behind with the misdirect! Damon with a German Suplex taking Mavis down! But Damon holds on! Another German! And anotha! I think that last Suplex landed him pretty rough! Massive aggression but sloppy execution!
Deadprez: I reject your theory completely Eve. These Suplexes are being conducted with great efficiency! Wait! Here comes Adam Graves! He just hooked the arms of Damon Diesel into a Full Nelson! Damon swinging wildly to break free and he does… but Graves immediately grabs him with both hands by the throat lifts him and slams him down! Double handed Chokeslam connects!! Graves with the cover!!!
Referee: ONEEEE!!! TWOOOO!!!
Eve: NO WAIT DAMON DIESEL JUST REVERSED THE PIN! DAMON FLIPPING GRAVES OVER AND HOOKING HIS ARMS AND LEGS INTO A SCIENTIFIC PINNING COMBO!!!
Referee: ONEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: But Adam Graves powers out! What strength! Adam Graves is mad now! Damon Diesel backs away but Graves charges in with a flurry of punches! But Diesel catches the arm dragging the man down with an armbar! Wait off the top rope! Jason Mavis leaps!!! But Graves breaks the hold just in time! Mavis comes down crashing on top of Damon Diesel! Diesel just got crushed! Diesel rolls out of the ring in pain… wait here comes MTV! MTV flipping over the top as he comes crashing down on Diesel again on the outside! Damon just can’t catch a break and he clearly can’t catch MTV either!
Eve: Meanwhile in the ring it looks like Adam Graves and Jason Mavis are squaring off as they pace around the ring. Mavis charges in trying to lock around the waist of Graves… but Graves dodges and catches him on the side… OLYMPIC SLAM CONNECTS!!! Mavis rolls through holding his back in pain as he gets up yet again to face off with Graves… But Graves is behind him instead! Graves lifts Mavis up above him stretching him across his shoulders… BURNING HAMMER CONNECTS!!! Meanwhile on the outside of the ring, Damon Diesel has made his way back up to his feet and is slugging it out with MTV! Both men going back and forth here on the outside. Damon Diesel grabs the head of MTV and smashes it off the barricade! MTV collapses down to the mat but Diesel just keeps assaulting him! Damon now applying a Sleeper Hold as he looks to take MTV out completely!
Deadprez: Adam Graves with a Military Press Slam on Jason Mavis in the ring! Graves literally out here just toying with his opponent tonight! Mavis tries to crawl outside the ring but Graves grabs him by the leg and pulls him back in! Mavis retaliates kicking away from Graves and lands on his feet… SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR! A THUNDEROUS SPEAR FROM GRAVES CONNECTS TO MAVIS!!! BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY HE IS BROKEN IN HALF!!!
Eve: Stop plagiarising Dead. I will get you fired motherfucker. Mavis being helped back to his feet but he can barely stand up! Just like MTV on the outside! Damon releases the hold as he leaves MTV lying asleep on the outside! Damon leaps as he takes down Adam Graves with a Flying Crossbody from the top!
Deadprez: NO! Graves shoved the ragdoll that is Jason Mavis in the way and Damon Diesel hit the Flying Crossbody onto him! Right into the cover!
Referee: ONEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Eve: But Adam Graves immediately lifts Damon Diesel off of Mavis and up onto his shoulders… BOMBS AWAY CONNECTS!!! THE COVER! NO WAIT MTV IS BACK UP AND COMING OFF THE TOP ROPE AT GRAVES!!! BUT GRAVES CATCHES HIM!!! HAMMER TIME SPINEBUSTER CONNECTS!!! THE COVER!!! NO WAIT GRAVES LOOKING DOWN AT MAVIS! HE PULLS HIM BACK UP! THIS SICK SON OF A BITCH JUST WANTS TO INFLICT AS MUCH PAIN AS POSSIBLE!!! HE THROWS THE LIMP BODY OF JASON MAVIS OVER HIS SHOULDER… DECIMATOR CONNECTS!! THE COVER!!!
Referee: ONEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! TWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! THRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Gina Romano: Here is your winner… ADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAVES!!!
(“Engines of Hate’ by Nevermore hits to boos from the crowd.)
Deadprez: Damn Adam Graves was an absolute beast tonight! None of his opponents even stood a chance!
Eve: Well they sure didn’t seem to be trying very hard. Hopefully they will regroup and realize they have a lot more work to do if they want to take down this monster of a man.
Deadprez: It will never happen! Adam Graves is going straight to the top and he will decimate anyone who stands in his way!
(Commercial for the next Showdown exclusive show, Wrath of the Dragon. Featuring Shenron— the feed the cutes briefly to static as we kick these anime fans out for hacking the system.)
(Camera opens to find SOSA Henderson backstage on his cell phone.)
SOSA Henderson: Serena! What’s up girl? Hey, you get that package I sent?
…
SOSA Henderson: That’s right, girl. All for you. You like it?
…
SOSA Henderson: Yeah, only thing that shines brighter than the diamonds in that bracelet is your eyes, baby.
???: Yo, SOSA! Amigo, you seen Hawk? I got some Poon Cash for you if you can help me out.
(SOSA looks up to see TLA with his poons in tow. He has the Openweight Championship over his shoulder. SOSA covers the phone with his hand.)
SOSA Henderson: I’m having a private conversation. Hawk probably in his damn office. It’s around that corner over there. Move on with your rude, interrupting ass.
(SOSA goes back to his conversation and TLA walks off, not about to let anything ruin his mood tonight. He and the poons turn around the corner before seeing the door and walking up. He moves to knock on the door when suddenly and arm reaches across the door frame, blocking his way. The camera pans back to show Malcolm Jones with his King of Elite crown on his head.)
Malcolm Jones: And just what in the hell do you think you’re doing?
(TLA steps up, undeterred by Malcolm’s presence.)
TLA: I’m about to cash in the Openweight Title for Grand Rampage, puto.
(The crowd is heard with thunderous roars at the announcement. MJ just begins to chuckle and stroke his chin.)
Malcolm Jones: That’s a real cute idea there, Latin Ass-hole. But I don’t think you’re gonna be doing that anytime soon.
TLA: Oh? Si? ¿Porqué? Why is that?
Malcolm Jones: Because tonight is my night. Tonight is the night I make all the dick eaters of the past who said I wasn’t gonna get anywhere past NEO eat their words. Tonight I’m gonna cash in my King of Elite crown and win the EAW Championship at The Grand Rampage.
(The crowd roars again at that announcement. TLA looks unimpressed.)
TLA: You not the only one with a redemption story, esé. Don’t forget that it was them same folks who maybe shit on you, who ran me outta this company. They tried to shut my career all the way down and I’m standing here today. With this Openweight Championship that I’ve held since just after No Regards, that I’ve fought for since Pain For Pride last fucking year. So trust me, hombre. You have no more right than me to cash in.
Malcolm Jones: I’m not asking you. I’m telling you. You not cashing in tonight. This is about to be mine. You weren’t run out of here because there was some vendetta against you. You were run outta here because you were never gonna live up to your potential. Coming up in EAW with all that hype outta NWF like you was meant to be something. But time after time you get close and you fail. You’ve never made it to the top. And Openweight title or not, you just ain’t got what it takes to make it. Me? I’m the man that just put the hottest rising star in the business, Visual Prophet, down. I’m the man who took the supposed best wrestler in the company, Acey O’Hara, and forced him to a draw. This is written in the stars. Malcolm Jones is the man meant to lead this whole damn business into the next era. You? You just had a competitive match with Chudd last week.
TLA: Whoa. Primero. You don’t speak down about Chudd, he is the best of us all. Second, you’re the man meant to lead? You’re the one who’s gonna win the title and achieve greatness? So that means you’re a different Malcolm Jones than the one who got his ass kicked when he got his big chance to fulfill his destiny in the Pain for Pride main ev—
(Malcolm swings a punch into TLA’s jaw and TLA returns fire, dropping the Openweight Championship and knocking the crown off of Malcolm’s head. MJ tackles TLA to the ground and both continue to brawl before Malcolm knocks TLA silly for just long enough to drag him to his feet. He takes TLA by the head and throws him back first into a brick wall.)
???: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING?!?
(Hurricane Hawk rushes out the door of the office after hearing all the commotion and pulls Malcolm by the waist as MJ tries to go after TLA again. Just then Michelle McGillislutty walks up after picking up the Openweight Championship off the ground, handing it to Hawk.)
Michelle McGillislutty: TLA wants to officially cash in his Openweight Championship to challenge Ahren Fournier at Grand Rampage. Papi will win the whole thing!
(Hawk takes the title into his hands just as Malcolm rushes over after going to grab his crown. Malcolm moves Michelle out of the way as he hands the crown to Hawk.)
Malcolm Jones: Back the fuck outta the way bitch. You can’t cash in nothing. I officially cash in my King of Elite crown to challenge Ahren Fournier, the baa baa bitch himself for Grand Rampage.
(TLA stumbles his way over, clutching the back of his head, shouldering his way in front of Hawk.)
TLA: Nah. It ain’t about to happen like this. I’m the Openweight Champion. I’ve been the Openweight Champion a hell of a lot longer than he’s been King of Elite. I came here to get my shot.
Malcolm Jones: Well it ain’t your night, bitch.
(The two begin to shove and are about to trade blows again before Hawk forces himself between the two of them.)
Hurricane Hawk: ENOUGH!!!!
(Hawk is seething, and he looks between the two as he speaks.)
Hurricane Hawk: I’ve not exactly had a great time recently. So I’m not gonna listen to two grown men bicker like some dumbass kids on a playground. These cash ins are meant to be for one on one opportunities. So you two have a match tonight. And you’re gonna go out there. And whoever manages to win, they get to challenge Ahren at Grand Rampage. The other will have to wait until Wrath of the Dragon.
(The three stand silently for a moment as TLA and MJ stare down.)
Malcolm Jones: Fine. If all I gotta do is beat his ass, nothing easier than that.
TLA: No problema. I don’t back down from shit.
(The two go their separate ways as Hawk is left there, holding the Openweight Championship and the King of Elite crown as the camera fades.)
(Commercial for soap. Children need to learn to use it.)
(Camera opens to Gina Romano inside the ring.)
Gina Romano: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
(“La Marmelade de Ma Grand Mère” by Florent Caubien plays as Provencal makes his entrance to mild cheers from several fans. Provencal bows to each one, thanking them for their support on the way down.)
Gina Romano: Introducing first, making his way to the ring from Triffouillis-les-Oies, France, weighing in at 204 pounds… The Bitter Knife… PRRRRROOOOVVEEEENNNCCCCAAAALLLLL!!!!!!
Eve: We received word during our last commercial break that Provencal is set to compete in two weeks time as part of the Grand Rampage, making this match an official Grand Rampage preview! What do you think, Deadprez? Does Provencal have the goods to survive and make it to the end? Can he oil of the miracle and win the Grand Rampage?
Deadprez: …….
Eve: Dead? You hear me?
Deadprez: Wait, you meant that as a serious question?
Eve: *sassy* Rude.
(“Ready for War” by Adelitas Way hits as Drake King comes out with the Interwire Championship around his waist. The crowd boos but he just brushes them off while looking at the ring with a cocky grin.)
Gina Romano: And his opponent, making his way to the ring from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 220 pounds… he is the EAW Interwire Champion… DDDDRRRRAAAAKKEEEEE KKIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
Eve: Drake King and the Round Table have run rough shod on Showdown of late. Is anything going to bring them down to earth?
Deadprez: At this point, I really don’t know. Hell, especially with Jax Walker there to work with King, you’d have to think one of the Round Table are favorites to win the entire Grand Rampage! We could be looking at the very future of the industry in our Interwire Champion.
(Drake enters the ring and hands his championship to the referee before looking Provencal up and down.)
Drake King (off mic): You? Really? You?
(DING! DING! DING!)
Eve: And Provencal stepping up to Drake King, his chest puffed out! He’s not going to take Drake’s insults lying down! This is one proud French man!
Deadprez: There’s such a thing?
Eve: BUT DRAKE STICKS HIS HAND IN PROVENCAL’S FACE AND SHOVES HIM AWAY! PROVENCAL TRIES TO RECOVER—
Deadprez: GUILLOTINE! THE SICK KICK! GOODNIGHT! DRAKE DROPS ON TOP FOR THE PIN!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Eve: Well… that was quick…
Deadprez: Oh but Drake ain’t done yet. He grabs Provencal by the head and pulls him up to his feet! Runs him to the ropes… AND LAUNCHES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE! Drake King making a declaration for the Grand Rampage right here!
(Drake is handed the Interwire Championship and he asks for a microphone. The timekeeper brings him one as Drake places the championship over his shoulder.)
Drake King: This is it? I’m not scheduled for a match two weeks ago, suspended last week for some garbage reason, and this is the big return match for the greatest Interwire Champion of all time? I have done nothing but show dominance since the night I won this championship! I have done nothing but elevate this title and bring it the kind of wars that this company should be proud of but constantly me and the rest of the Round Table find ourselves roadblocked left and right by guys like Hurricane Hawk who want to see us fail. But that’s what last week was about. Last week the Round Table showed their power and now Hawk is contractually obligated to LEAVE US ALONE! We have been the single greatest draw this show has had in recent times. I mean who else could have done it? The King of Elite who I beat and has been on every show except this one lately? The absentee world champion? Chris Elite, the man who can’t seem to get the magic back that he had against Jamie O’Hara? The Openweight Champion who’s seemingly more concerned with his personal company than his actual title reign?
(Drake pauses with his arms out, waiting for an answer.)
Drake King: NO! It has been your Interwire Champion and the unstoppable force known as the Round Table! We have proven that we are here to run the show and you know what? I am demanding some competition! I see all of these people running around and having dream matches on every brand but Hawk doesn’t like to execute these trades it would seem. He’s got some issue with blah blah blah wasting marquee match ups blah blah blah save it for bigger moments blah blah blah. No one cares and no one is listening, Hawk. We want these matches, I want a match. There’s no one left here who can test me so I’m looking elsewhere. And you know what, I’ve found an opponent I wanna take on.
(Drake grins knowingly as the crowd are confused.)
Drake King: You see, I’m not the only one in all of EAW who’s been trying to prove themselves as a force lately. There’s a certain man who recently got probably the biggest victory of his career. He beat one of the biggest mainstays in the World Title scene after some pretty heated build and I don’t want to disregard that. So I’m going to call this man out and I want to know an answer… who wants to see Drake King versus Daryl Kinkade?
(The crowd go wild for that match possibility.)
Drake King: Yeah. I thought all of you mindless sheep would get worked up over that.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Drake King: But as for you, Mr. Kinkade. What say we buck the trend and make our own Grand Rampage preview match next week? Then when I leave your body broken on the mat like I’ve done to so many others recently, you can thank me for getting the opportunity to wrestle the future of this entire business. I expect your answer by tomorrow night.
(With that, Drake drops the microphone and rolls out of the ring with his Championship as “Ready For War” picks back up. He walks up the ramp and towards the curtain.)
Eve: DRAKE KING IS CALLING OUT DARYL KINKADE! A possible match between two of the biggest rising stars in all of EAW! I know I’d be excited! What’s your take, DP?
Deadprez: That match could have future implications written all over it. I guess we’re gonna have to wait and see what all Daryl Kinkade has to say when he responds to Drake’s words!
(Commercial for Turbo Tax! Get that shit done.)
(Camera opens to a luxurious lounge with velvet seats. Just over a balcony railing, a high end night club can be seen. After a moment, Ahren Fournier walks over and takes a seat on a velvet couch. He wears a custom made suit with the EAW Championship over his shoulder and sunglasses on his face despite being inside. As the camera pans, his custom golden fur coat can be seen hanging on a coat rack.)
Ahren Fournier: So here I am. Minding my own business. Feeling in a pretty good mood. I even agreed to do a properly streamed in message out of my own generosity to Hurricane Hawk so that he can believe that if he were to find me a worthwhile challenge that I may actually come by to take a look.
(Ahren removes his sunglasses and hangs them in the pocket of his suit jacket.)
Ahren Fournier: But now I check my phone and my twitter and instagram mentions are all over the place as people tag me in these clips of Malcolm Jones and TLA BOTH trying to cash in their trash of elite weight championships or whatever the fuck that shit is supposed to be. And Hurricane Hawk, The Man to whom I tried to extend an olive branch to with THIS VERY LIVESTREAM is actually agreeing to them getting this shot. I swear to Gawd, I don’t watch the show for one week and everything just goes to hell without me.
???: I’m pretty sure you’ve not watched in nearly a month by this point.
(Kassidy Heart walks by and sits back into a nearby chair with a glass of champagne.)
Ahren Fournier: Has it been that long? Huh. Guess time really does fly when you’re doing things that are ACTUALLY of interest. It has been nice to not have to worry about doing al that homo erotic shit with oily dudes that creepy fat people on the internet seem to get so worked up about.
Kassidy Heart: Wow. That’s certainly a perspective.
Ahren Fournier: Its the correct perspective. But to think that these three now are trying to think that between them that they can formulate a challenge worth my time. Whether it is Malcolm, whether it is TLA, the result will remain the same. I will walk in. I will dominate as I always do. I will collect my champions check and then I will go about my business, maybe purchase a new summer home in Monte Carlo and spend my time there between the matches that I am contractually obligated to. Because I am the GOAT. There is no one who can match up to me, no one who can even touch me. I beat these hooves into whoever I have to but at the end of it all, it always comes up GOAT. But, since it seems I am going to be forced into some kind of bullshit matchup that I will be contractually obligated to by these worthless cash ins, I will be in attendance next week at Showdown. So Hawk, go ahead and give me a victim if you wish because I’ll show each and every one of you why I am who I am so that whoever does win the cash in battle realizes the truth and they can stay home at Grand Rampage instead of bothering with taking a beating they know is coming for them.
Kassidy Heart: Hmm. Well Empire isn’t doing anything with me since they seem to fear my success. How about I get a match too?
Ahren Fournier: That’s perfect! A tag match! Magnum Opus versus whatever two losers want these hooves. And then Kassidy can see the greatest champion in the entire company work to help get her ready for when she becomes a champion!
Kassidy Heart: Excuse me? We’ve been over this! I am a Unified Tag Team Champion!
Ahren Fournier: Lets not argue over this again! I mean yes you have a belt and the name of Champion… but really you’re like half of a champion by technicality. You’re not a world champion at least.
(Kassidy shakes her head and goes back to her drink.)
Ahren Fournier: As I was saying. The GOAT will be back on Showdown next week, ready to make an example of some poor fool.
(Camera fades as a waitress arrives and begins to speak to Ahren.)
(Camera transitions to Gina Romano inside the ring.)
Gina Romano: The following contest is a triple threat contest….
(A buzz comes over the crowd at this announcement)
Gina Romano: And it’s scheduled for ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
(‘Revolution’ by The Beatles with the beginning of the song having the usual electric guitar riff of “Revolution” bursts through the arena sound system signalling the presence of Jack Haze to the pop of the crowd. “You say you want a revolution”….echoes throughout the building. Jack comes through the curtain and quickly approaches the very top of the entrance ramp, energetic and smiling.)
Gina Romano: And introducing his opponent….He hails from Santa Monica, California….He weighs in at TWO HUNDRED AND ELEVEN POUNDS….HE’S ‘THE ENLIGHTENED’……JAAAACCCCKKKKK HAAAAZZZZEEEEE!!!
(He half-skips down the ramp while simultaneously tagging the hands of fans. When he gets to the end of the ramp, he slaps one last hand and then re-positions himself to be standing in the center of the outside ring area as he bounces up and down to warm up and then takes a deep breath (“But when you talk about destruction/Don’t you know that you can count me out?”). He then gets a running start and smoothly slides into the ring, all the way to the middle.)
(‘Odee’ by A Boogie begins to replace ‘Revolution’ as Chris Elite wastes no times in making his way to the ring with the crowd in a frenzy for Gawd Given Greatness which gets Chris hyped as he taunts the camera before stepping into the ring.)
Gina Romano: And introducing his opponent….He resides from Brooklyn, New York….He weighs in at TWO HUNDRED AND TEN POUNDS……He’s GAWD GIVEN GREATNESS……CHHHRRRRIIIIISSSSSSS ELLLLLIIIIIITTTTTTEEEEE!!!!
(“Love SOSA” by Chief Keef interrupts “Odee” as Sosa Henderson walks out slow and methodically in his usual black open vest and matching tights with dark sunglasses on. The mixed reaction gets a chuckle out of him as he continues to methodically make his way to the ring.)
Gina Romano: And introducing their opponent….He hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…..He weighs in at ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY ONE POUNDS……HE’S BULLETPROOF…….SOOOOSSSSSSAAAAAA HEEENNNNNNNDDDDDDDEEEEEERRRRRSSSSSOOOONNNNNNN!!!
(As Sosa Henderson enters the ring he removes his vest and throws it to the floor, and then looks back toward the ring as the referee is about ready to get the highly anticipated match underway.)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Eve: Well, these three men have certainly busy lately, and have done more than their share lately to ready themselves not only for this match but later on this month for the eleventh annual Grand Rampage! All three men know exactly what’s what in a matchup like this, DP! There’s no friends or allies to begin with just like there won’t be at the Grand Rampage, but with triple threat rules in play it’s essentially anything goes and each man will likely make great allies in whatever choice of weapons should they go that route! Each man looking at the other, almost as if waiting for the other to react! Now look at this! Sosa Henderson is motioning to Chris Elite! Sosa Henderson leans slightly in the direction of Chris Elite who’s attention has now been diverted, at least for the time being as Jack Haze looks on a bit confused!
Sosa(no mic): Yo, bruh, let’s waste this cac so we can put on a real show for these cats.
Chris(no mic): Word….
Deadprez: It seems as though ‘Bulletproof’ Sosa Henderson and ‘Gawd Given Greatness’ Chris Elite have struck some sort of a deal here! Both Chris and Sosa begin to close in on Jack Haze who’s standing by ready to fight two men! And-BOX. OFFICE. SMASH. And this crowd begins to buzz again! Chris Elite just turned to Sosa Henderson out of nowhere with that superkick that just knocked out Sosa Henderson! Wow! AND I MEAN HE IS OUT! Jack Haze looks on as Chris Elite is shown taunting inaudibly to the downed Sosa Henderson who begins rolling out of the ring until he falls to the floor! Well, I guess their won’t be any alliances between anyone at this time! Chris Elite then turns his attention to Jack Haze and gestures for him to bring it! Both men move in to lock up! And now the tie up! Both men have somewhat contrasting styles, Chris being more of a high flyer whereas Jack Haze shows the ability to mix it up a bit between catch-can wrestling and technical-orthodox! It’s Jack Haze with the early advantage with the side headlock! Sosa Henderson still shown recovering on the outside still trying to shake off the effects of that Box Office Smash just moments ago by Chris Elite!
Eve: Jack Haze now with the side headlock takedown of Chris Elite! But Chris Elite slips out of the grasp of Jack Haze and both men quickly back to their feet! Clothesline attempt by Jack Haze is ducked by Chris Elite who looks for a neckbreaker but Jack Haze twists his way out of the grasp of Chris Elite! Here comes Chris now, but a drop toe hold by Jack Haze takes Chris Elite back down right into another headlock-NO! COUNTERED BY CHRIS ELITE RIGHT INTO A SMALL PACKAGE! THE REFEREE ON TOP OF IT!
Referee: ONE!!!….TW-KICKOUT!!!!
Deadprez: And barely enough for two count on that exchange! Now Chris Elite is looking for a roundhouse kick but it’s dodged by Jack Haze! Jack whips Chris toward the ropes! OH MAN! SOSA HENDERSON JUST PULLED DOWN THE TOP ROPE AND CHRIS ELITE TAKES A HARD TUMBLE OVER THE ROPES AND DOWN TO THE FLOOR! NOW SOSA HENDERSON, WHO’S NOW FINALLY RECOVERED IS LAYING THE BOOTS TO CHRIS ELITE NOW! AND SOSA STILL NONE TOO PLEASED WITH WHAT TRANSPIRED A FEW MINUTES EARLIER! LOOK OUT!! BASEBALL SLIDE BY JACK HAZE JUST SENT SOSA HENDERSON FLYING RIGHT OVER OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE!! EVE ARE YOU ALRIGHT!!??
Eve: Fine. I’m fine! I promise this time! OH MY GOD! JACK HAZE JUST LAUNCHED HIMSELF RIGHT OVER THE ANNOUNCE TABLE RIGHT AS SOSA HENDERSON WAS TRYING TO RECOVER!! NOW JACK HAZE LAYING INTO SOSA HENDERSON WITH REPEATED RIGHTS FROM THE GROUNDED POSITION! NOW JACK HAZE BACK UP AND BACKPEDALING FROM THE SCENE! BUT LOOK AT CHRIS ELITE! HE’S STANDING ON THE APRON AND JACK HAZE DOESN’T SEE HIM YET! NOW HE TURNS AROUND AND CHRIS ELITE LEAPS OFF THE APRON! ROLLING THUNDER DDT TO JACK HAZE HEAD FIRST INTO THE FLOOR EXECUTED BY CHRIS ELITE! WOW! AND CHRIS IS SAT UP LOOKING AROUND NODDING HIS HEAD IN COMPLETE SATISFACTION AS THE CROWD IS LOUD AND ELECTRIC!
Deadprez: We got Sosa Henderson who’s yet to really get any offense in so far in this matchup starting to recover once again! Now Chris Elite is back up to his feet and makes his way over to where Sosa is to grab him-OH!!! AND LOW BLOW! CHRIS ELITE CRUMBLES TO HIS KNEES HOLDING HIS MANHOOD! GOOD GRACIOUS! AND NOW SOSA GRABS CHRIS ELITE AND RUNS HIM RIGHT INTO THAT NEARBY RING POST HEAD FIRST! OUCH! THAT’S SURELY GOING TO LEAVE A MARK! AND NOW AS ONE EXPECT, THIS BEING A TRIPLE THREAT MATCH THE RULES PRETTY MUCH GO OUT THE DOOR AND SOSA HENDERSON IS NOW REACHING UNDER THE RING APRON LOOKING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS SITUATION!
Eve: Well it sure wouldn’t be the first time from this convicted felon! He’s been involved in a few of the biggest schemes backstage since arriving here from trying to take sole possession of the cash in the vault briefcase, to changing lottery numbers to rig the new Breed gauntlet match at Under Siege, and now he’s blatantly looking to deploy his share of hardknocks on Jack Haze and Chris Elite! Jack Haze starting to stir a bit! Chris Elite is still down unmoved! Jack Haze staggers back up to his feet! But HE BETTER MOVE!
***SMACK***
Deadprez: Sosa Henderson missed his intended target with that steel chair he just grabbed from under the ring and instead connected with the ring post! Jack Haze spears Sosa into the ring apron and this causes him to drop the chair and now both are trading shots back and forth! A knee to the midsection by Sosa Henderson that was delivered to Jack Haze causing him to keel over slightly! Now Sosa, He just PULLED OUT A LEAD PIPE FROM HIS TIGHTS! OH MY GOD! HOW SNEAKY AND UNDERHANDED CAN THIS GET!!??? Chris Elite showing signs now of recovery off over near the barricade area at ringside! Haze is back to a vertical base again and-
***CRACK***
Eve: SOSA HENDERSON JUST NAILED THE HELL OUT OF JACK HAZE! JACK HAZE FALLS BACK HOLDING HIS HEAD! JACK HAZE IS BUSTED OPEN AFTER SOSA CONNECTED WITH LEAD PIPE TO JACK’S SKULL! Sosa Henderson now drags Jack Haze to his feet and rolls him into the ring and then slides in right behind him! Jack Haze is on all fours now bloodied! His face a red crimson mask already as he barely shows any signs of being fully aware of where he is! Sosa Henderson is lined up in the corner. He’s waiting for Jack Haze to get into the right position! Sosa is preparing for it! You can feel it coming! He’s going for Paid In Full! That curb stomp that’s so devastating! The crowd buzzing again and Sosa now sees his opportunity to strike! Sosa takes off but WAIT A MINUTE! CHRIS ELITE HAS MADE HIS ON THE APRON AND SOSA HENDERSON NOW REDIRECTS HIMSELF AND GOES FOR CHRIS ELITE! BUT CHRIS WITH A SHOULDER THRUST FROM BETWEEN THE MIDDLE AND TOP ROPES THAT CONNECTS WITH THE MIDSECTION OF SOSA HENDERSON THAT SENDS THE WIND CLEAR OUT OF SAILS AS HE HOLDS HIS MIDSECTION! CHRIS ELITE IS NOT DONE HOWEVER AS HE HOPS UP ON THE TOP ROPE AS SOSA HENDERSON TURNS AROUND! CHRIS ELITE LEAPS OFF! HEADSCISSORS TAKEDOWN BY CHRIS ELITE! SOSA HENDERSON IS BACK UP HOWEVER!
Deadprez: BUT GAWD GIVEN GREATNESS IS AS WELL! TWO PUNCHES BY CHRIS FOLLOWED UP WITH A STIFF SHOOT KICK TO THE CHEST AREA OF SOSA BUT HE DOESN’T FALL! BACK FIST FROM CHRIS ELITE FOLLOWED FINALLY BY A POWERFUL LARIAT THAT TAKES SOSA HENDERSON DOWN TO THE CAVAS! He calls that the 5 Borough Combo! And he’s still not done! Jack Haze is trying to get back into this. Chris Elite now grabs the wrist of Haze and uses the momentum to jump off the second rope! ELITE CUTTER TO JACK HAZE!!! THE WRISTLOCK AND SPRINGBOARD CUTTER!!! THE COVER BY CHRIS ELITE! HE COULD HAVE IT RIGHT HERE!!
Referee: ONE!!!…..TWO!!!…..TH-
Eve: And it’s broken up by Sosa Henderson from behind! Great awareness shown there by the rookie, Sosa Henderson! That’s the kind of instincts you’ve got to possess to survive these triple threat matches! Sosa Henderson now has Chris Elite back up and whips him toward the ropes but Chris Elite reverses the momentum and whips Sosa Henderson and JACK HAZE! JACK IS UP! AND HE’S GOT SOSA HENDERSON! OVERHEAD SNAP RELEASE SUPLEX THAT SENDS SOSA HENDERSON FLYING ACROSS THE RING WHERE HE LANDS EXTRA HARD! HERES CHRIS ELITE BACK INTO THE PICTURE NOW GETTING A FEW OPEN SHOTS IN ON JACK HAZE! BUT JACK FINALLY BLOCKS THE NEXT ATTEMPT! HEADBUTT BY JACK HAZE THAT KNOCKS CHRIS ELITE SILLY! AND ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER! ANOTHER! SCOOP SLAM BY JACK HAZE PLANTS CHRIS ELITE ON THE CANVAS! JACK IS NOW RUSHING TO CLIMB TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE ON THE OUTSIDE! JACK HAZE SET TO TAKE FLIGHT! OHHHH! OH NO!!! SOSA HENDERSON JUST CROTCHED JACK HAZE ON THAT TOP TURNBUCKLE! AND NOW SOSA LOOKING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE! HE MEETS JACK AS HE STANDS ON THE SECOND ROPE AND DRAPES THE ARM OF JACK OVER AND GRABS THE TIGHTS! SUPERPLEX OFF THE TOP!
(The crowd gasps feeling the pain of the move as Sosa just superplexed Jack with all of his weight and the impact connecting with the downed Chris Elite.)
Deadprez: AND THE SOUNDS OF THE COLLECTIVE “AWWWS” COMING FROM THE CROWD SAYS IT ALL AS WE CHRIS ELITE AS HIS BODY CONTORTS ALL OVER THE PLACE AT THE UNIMAGINABLE PAIN HE MUST BE FEELING AFTER THAT AS HE NOW HOLDS HIS MIDSECTION IN THE FETAL POSITION! Sosa Henderson the current number one contender for the New Breed Championship is sat up but then gets to his feet only to quickly make his way over to Chris and jump down where Chris is to shoot the half with both legs hooked! This is for the win!
Referee: ONE!!!….TWO!!!…..THR-KICKOUT!!!!
Eve: And ever resilient as you would expect coming from Chris Elite, he manages to kick out! But Sosa Henderson is back up and he’s lining up again to try and end someone’s night! Both Chris Elite and Jack Haze are recovering at the same time! Sosa Henderson seems to be pondering something though as he looks toward the outside! He’s eyeing that steel chair from earlier! Sosa Henderson leaves the ring to the outside where the chair is and then picks it up and tosses it into the ring! He’s staring into the ring now and sees that both of his opponents are still down trying to summon the strength to get back to their feet! Now Sosa Henderson is pulling out another steel chair and he tosses that into the ring as well! Wait a minute. He seems to have grabbed something else as well! But what??? I can’t see it! Jack Haze and Chris Elite are both back to their feet in the ring!
Deadprez: Both are trading shots back and forth now! Clothesline attempt by Chris Elite is ducked by Haze! Jack Haze whips Chris Elite with force and Chris is turned upside down and inside out the moment he crashes into the turnbuckle but he lands on his feet but he’s stumbling out of that corner! Jack Haze comes charging toward Chris Elite!
Jack: AHHHHHHHH!!!!
Eve: HERE ENTERS SOSA HENDERSON AT THE LAST MOMENT! AND HE KICKS THE ONCOMING JACK HAZE IN THE MIDSECTION THAT MAKES HIM KEEL OVER! HE’S GOT JACK HAZE IN POSITION RIGHT OVER ONE OF THOSE CHAIRS! JUMPING DDT ON PLANTS JACK HAZE FACE FIRST AND JACK HAZE’S NIGHT MIGHT BE DONE! NOW SOSA GRABS THAT OTHER STEEL CHAIR AND HE HAS AN EVIL GRIN WORN UPON HIS FACE AND NOW HE’S UP AND IT’S CHRIS ELITE THAT’S LEFT HERE! HE’S IN FIGHTING STANCE JUST WAITING AND READY FOR SOSA TO TRY SOMETHING… ANYTHING ELSE! What’s Sosa doing? He seems to have something else in mind as he looks at the chair in his hands and then at Chris Elite! What’s he DOING!!??? HE’S OFFERING THE CHAIR TO CHRIS ELITE! CHRIS LOOKS JUST AS CONFUSED AS THESE PEOPLE RIGHT NOW!
Deadprez: Chris has got the chair and Sosa Henderson turning his back with his arms outstretched to his sides! Chris Elite looks down at the chair in hands, but will he use it?? Chris Elite is not been noted in recent times to need any extra advantage to win a match, Eve! This is either dumbest move on the part of Sosa Henderson to give up a weapon to an adversary or one of greatest mind games we’re seeing in some time. Chris what are you doing? Chris Elite just threw that chair down to the canvas! Sosa Henderson is seen chuckling to himself as he slowly turns around! Sosa Henderson walks up to Chris Elite and begins talking trash to his face!
Sosa: You weak, bruh…you ain’t nothin special, and I’m bout prove that when I put yo dead ass down.
Chris: You talk to too much B…just bring it.
Sosa: Thought you’d never say the words.
Eve: Jack Haze is starting to stir from behind just inches away! OH MY GOD! SOSA HENDERSON! HES GOT A-ITS A TASER GUN AND HE HAS IT ACTIVATED! HIM CHRIS ELITE ARE FIGHTING OVER IT! SOSA TRYING TO USE IT ON CHRIS BUT CHRIS WITH EVERYTHING HE HAS IS HOLDING SOSA HENDERSON BACK FROM DOING SO! CHRIS IS USING HIS STRENGTH ADVANTAGE THAT HE HAS AND IS FORCING SOSA BACK! NOW JACK HAZE IS STARTING TO SLOWLY RISE BACK TO HIS FEET WHILE THIS STRUGGLE FOR THE TASER GUN IS STILL GOING ON! AND A HEADBUTT BY CHRIS ELITE! AND ANOTHER ONE! THIS ONE HARDER THAN THE LAST WHICH MAKES SOSA HENDERSON STUMBLE BACKWARDS ! SOSA HENDERSON IS SPUN AROUND! IT’S JACK HAZE! JACK HAZE SEES THE TASER GUN AND SWATS AT IT KNOCKING IT CLEAN FROM THE HAND OF SOSA HENDERSON! THANK GOD IN HEAVEN FOR JACK HAZE! JACK KICKS SOSA HENDERSON IN THE MIDSECTION! HE WRAPS THE ARM AND NOW HE HAS SOSA UPSIDE DOWN! SOSA TRYING TO FIGHT OUT TO NO AVAIL! JACK HAS SOSA POSITIONED OVER THAT OTHER CHAIR FROM MOMENTS AGO! INTERSTELLAR OVERDRIVE!!! THE ARM-TRAPPED PILEDRIVER ON THAT CHAIR!!! JACK HAZE HOOKS THE LEG! THIS HAS GOTTA BE IT!!!!
Referee: ONE!!!….TWO!!!!….THREE-
Deadprez: AND CHRIS ELITE BREAKS IT UP AT THE LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT! JACK HAZE’S BIGGEST CHANCE TO WIN MAY HAVE JUST BEEN SNUFFED OUT! CHRIS BACK UP AND HE’S JACK HAZE WRAPPED UP FROM BEHIND! GERMAN SUPLEX BUT HE DOESN’T LET GO! HE FOLLOWS IT UP WITH THAT MODIFIED BRAINBUSTER! LONG KISS GOODNIGHT!! CHRIS ELITE WITH THE HOOK OF THE LEG!
Referee: ONE!!!….TWO!!!….THREE!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(‘Odee’ by A Boogie starts up again as Chris Elite rolls away from Jack Haze on to his back where he stares up at the ceiling lights for a moment as the referee raises his hand.)
Gina Romano: The winner of this triple threat match by pinfall…..’CHHHHRRRRRIIIISSSSS ELLLLIIIITTTEEE!!!
Eve: This match, DP, you have to admit had little bit of everything! From the early exchange between Sosa Henderson and Chris Elite where it looked like Sosa had struck a deal with ‘Gawd Given Greatness’ to help take Jack Haze out of the equation, only for Chris Elite to end any chance of an alliance when he leveled Sosa with the Box Office Smash! Then each of the men taking things out of the ring where the danger factor always becomes more prevalent. Weapons were in play here, most notably the dangerous taser gun that Sosa Henderson brought from under the ring and concealing until he was ready to use it!
Deadprez: That’s Jack Haze came in and made the save only for Chris Elite to use the distraction in his favor to win this match. You pretty much hit it on the nail, Eve! Each man lived up to their respective reputaions in this match! Jack Haze the outstanding rookie here on Showdown once again showed the heart to keep getting back up! He was great. He’ll be fine! But congratulations to the winner and the man that bounced back this week once again, Chris Elite!
(Chris Elite is shown holding his ribs a bit in some agony as he raises his arm up pumping his fist in triumph as the fans cheer with approval as he turns to look back toward the ring at the carnage and then out at the crowd one more time before the shot fades.)
(Commercial for Poon-O’s. New cereal produced by TLA and Poon Enterprises.)
(Camera opens backstage to see Jack Haze having an ice pack applied to the back of his neck. The doctor finishes up and Jack gets off of the medical table when suddenly Damon Diesel walks up.)
Damon Diesel: Excellent performance out there, Mr. Main Eventer.
Jack Haze: Well only one of the two of us actually has main evented a major show. The other couldn’t win a basic gauntlet match where he entered near the end of the exact same show. Besides, you lost tonight too.
Damon Diesel: Didn’t get pinned though. Feels like it served you right. Being the reason we lost last week and all.
Jack Haze: Me? You were the one who decided to start fighting your partner instead of focusing on the actual match.
Damon Diesel: But you were the one who was dumb enough to keep getting in my way when I wanted my payback on those Round Table assholes!
Jack Haze: You were too focused on revenge and you were going to lose us the match in the first place! A tag match means working together, unity, something you clearly don’t comprehend.
Damon Diesel: How about I unify my boot up your ass?
Jack Haze: You can try. You’ll fail.
(Damon shoves Jack back onto the medical table. Damon goes to grab Jack and continue the attack, but Haze twists through and rolls off the table into a wrist lock before shoving Diesel away.)
Jack Haze: I follow a higher path. One that clearly runs well above your Neanderthal mind. Petty violence backstage won’t be the answer.
Damon Diesel: Heh. You must be high to think like that. But we’re not done here, not by a long shot.
(Damon smirks and walks away. He shoulders his way past Jack as he leaves. Jack clenches his fists and tries to breath to calm himself as he looks on.)
(Camera transitions to find Cori Simmons backstage with a microphone.)
Cori Simmons: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, Chris Elite.
(Chris and Big Mike step into frame. Chris has a towel around the back of his neck, still cooling off from the match.)
Chris Elite: What’s up, Cori? Appreciate the time.
Cori Simmons: Its my pleasure, Chris. Let me be the first to congratulate you on a hard fought win only moments ago.
Chris Elite: Thank you. Thank you. It was a good match, but the right man came out on top. Can’t keep a top talent held down.
Cori Simmons: Absolutely. And would you say that this win helps put you back on track?
Chris Elite: Back on… back on track? I ain’t know I was off track.
Cori Simmons: Well after a tough loss last week, it must be nice to get back to winning.
(Chris begins to look annoyed. Big Mike pats him on the shoulder.)
Big Mike: Hey man, don’t let it get to you. Ain’t nothin to worry about. They just hatin.
Chris Elite: Are y’all really gonna let one off week paint me like I’m declining? I’m Money Makin Bhris, bitch. I’m Gawd Given Greatness. I’m the best damn thing on this roster, I’m the man people tune in to see!
Cori Simmons: Well I’m sorry Chris. I certainly didn’t mean to offend. But I do have some good news for you.
(Chris looks at her curiously.)
Chris Elite: Yeah? What’s that?
Cori Simmons: Hurricane Hawk has officially announced that the final Grand Rampage qualifier next week will be between you and Jason Mavis!
(Chris blinks and just stares at her for a moment.)
Chris Elite: ……qualifier?
Cori Simmons: That’s right. For the Grand Rampage match.
Chris Elite: Hawk wants me to… I HAVE TO QUALIFY? CHUDD AND PROVENCAL GET HANDED THEIR WAY INTO THE DAMN THING BUT CHRIS ELITE HAS TO FUCKING QUALIFY?
Cori Simmons: Well… I…
Chris Elite: I HAVE A GAWD CONTRACT! I SHOULD BE PICKING WHAT NUMBER I ENTER AT! BUT I HAVE TO PROVE MYSELF WHILE MTV IS HANDED HIS SHOT?!?
Big Mike: Y’all know this ain’t right.
Cori Simmons: I didn’t mean to…
Chris Elite: Fuck what you meant. I’m getting a little sick of this shit.
Cori Simmons: Well… is there anything you’d like to say in regards to the match being made?
(Chris grabs the microphone out of her hand.)
Chris Elite: Yeah. Suck my dick.
(Chris tosses the microphone into the camera lens, sending the camera man stumbling backwards and dropping the camera. The final shot is from the camera on the floor, seeing Chris and Big Mike walk off set.)
(Commercial for Fenty Beauty featuring Serena Bennett.)
(The camera opens to Gina Romano in the middle of the ring)
Gina Romano: Ladies and gentlemen this is the MAIN EVENT! AND IT IS SCHEDULED FOR…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac hits to boisterous cheers as TLA comes to the stage. His usual smile is not present as he hits the ring with a stern look to the shock of many of the front row fans.)
Gina Romano: Introducing first, residing in THE POON PALACE, weighing in at 210 POUNDS…HE IS THE OPENWEIGHT CHAMPION, LA PANTERA SEXUAL… T…L…A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: That’s new, TLA’s got a lot on his plate tonight as this match determines what situation he’ll be in at Grand Rampage.
Eve: Each competitor wants Ahren Fournier for the title at Grand Rampage and there’s no time for silly talk, give them gold or give them death. TLA took the worst of the fight earlier. Gotta wonder what kind of shape he’s in.
(TLA enters the ring and stretches in his corner. As “Ambitionz az a Ridah” is replaced by “Pray For Em” by Meek Mill which is met by a somewhat mixed reaction. Malcolm is expressionless as he meets eyes with TLA)
Gina Romano: AND HIS OPPONENT, FROM HARLEM NEW YORK, WEIGHING IN AT 230 POUNDS, THE CONCRETE ROSE…MALCOLM, JONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: Malcolm Jones isn’t much different compared to TLA going into this match, each wrestler wants to prove themselves.
Eve: Relentless, that’s the word. They’ll do whatever it takes to win, even if it means throwing away all the stuff that makes them them and giving their opponent the best, there’s nothing these men won’t do as shown previously with that massive brawl they had, I can’t wait to see what’s coming in this match.
(Malcolm and TLA instantly lock eyes in the ring as they move closer to each other, trashing each other as the ref separates each of them, the bell rings and the chaos begins)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: Here we go- TLA AND MALCOLM ALREADY LAYING PUNCH AFTER PUNCH TO EACH OTHER! MALCOLM, TLA, MALCOLM, TLA, MALCOLM, TLA! FOREARM, SLAP, PUNCH, VERY MEXICAN UPPERCUT- NO JONES MOVES PIT OF THE WAY, SCHOOL BOY, MALCOLM LETS GO LETTING TLA ROLL UP ONTO HIS KNEES! DROPKICK- TLA ROLLS BACK AGAIN, MALCOLM WITH A, CLOTHESLINE, NO! TLA DUCKS UNDER, CARTEL KICK. THE PELE KICK IS BEING ACCOMPANIED BY ROARING CHEERS! BUT MALCOLM IS STILL STANDING, C-NOTE- NO THE SPEAR IS COUNTERED WITH A DDT BY TLA! TLA HOLDING ONTO THE ARM OF MALCOLM JONES, IRISH WHIP TO THE CORNER! NO TLA COUNTERED, THROWN INTO THE CORNER BY MALCOLM, IRISH WHIP TO THE CORNER…WATER WHIP, THE RUNNING KNEE CRACKS THE SKULL OF TLA! Malcolm throwing TLA down, PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: KICKOUT! Malcolm isn’t looking surprised, TLA quickly brought up, THE CUBAN LINK- NO, BEFORE MALCOLM CAN FULLY LOCK IN THE HOLD, TLA SLIPPING OUT! TLA KICKING MALCOLM RIGHT IN THE GUT, Powerbomb position…MALCOLM LIFTING TLA OVER HIS HEAD, UP, AND DOWN! BUT TLA ROLLS BACK AND LANDS ON HIS FEET, HE TURNS AROUND, HE’S GRABBING MALCOLM BY THE BACK OF THE HEAD…VERY MEXICAN UPPERCUT TO THE BACK OF MALCOLM’S HEAD! THE EUROPEAN UPPERCUT NAILING MALCOLM JONES TO THE GROUND! KIP-UP- NO TLA KICKING MALCOLM BACK DOWN! PIN- BUT MALCOLM KICKS OUT BEFORE THE COUNT STARTS! THIS MATCH IS BARELY EVEN UNDERWAY! TLA grabbing Malcolm by the head, TLA going for the ground and pound, PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH! TLA letting go, he’s running to the ropes…MALCOLM SLIDES UNDER TLA JUMPS OVER, LEAPFROG BY MALCOLM, BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! TLA LANDING ON HIS FEET THO, TLA THROWING MALCOLM ONTO THE APRON, Malcolm up to the top rope, TLA GRABBING ONTO THE LEG OF JONES, Malcolm kicking him off, CROSSBODY! He’s going back up the turnbuckle…5 STAR SWAG SPLASH- BUT TLA GOT THE KNEES UP, TLA WITH THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: KICKOUT, MALCOLM IS NOT GIVING IN! TLA grabbing Malcolm again, HEADLOCK! TLA is cranking Malcolm’s neck as the ropes are miles away from the ropes…Malcolm reaches back and grabs the neck of TLA, HE’S GETTING UP…STUNNER! MALCOLM WITH THE PIN!! NO!!! TLA ROLLS IT THROUGH INTO A SCHOOLBOY!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: KICKOUT! TLA IS WAITING FOR MALCOLM, HE’S RUNNING…MALCOLM WITH A SWINGING NECKBREAKER! MALCOLM ALREADY STOMPING AWAY AT A LIFELESS TLA. The ref is splitting them- BUT MALCOLM IS ATTACKING AGAIN, WAIT! TLA HAS THE LEG HE’S PULLING HIMSELF BACK UP…AR15, THE MODIFIED TEXAS CLOVERLEAF IS LOCKED IN, BUT MALCOLM THRUSTING HIS HAND TO THE ROPES, ROPE BREAK! TLA forced to let go as he moves to the ropes, Malcolm coming, TLA THROWS HIM OVER HIS HEAD TO THE APRON. BUT MALCOLM GRABS TLA BY THE HAIR, HE’S PULLING HIM TO THE APRON!! He shoves TLA back a bit…C-NOTE! MALCOLM NAILS THE SPEAR FROM THE APRON ONTO THE FLOOR, TLA LOOKS DEAD! Malcolm grabbing and throwing TLA into the ring, PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: KICKOUT! Malcolm getting immediately back up, TLA thrown to the ropes…TLA SLIDES OUT! But Malcolm is jumping to the top rope…CROSSBODY-NO! TLA DODGES! MALCOLM JONES CRASHED INTO THE BARRICADE! Malcolm is hurting here here as he’s grabbed up by TLA and thrown back into the ring, TLA coming back in… TLA TO THE TOP ROPE WITH A SPRINGBOARD… FROG SPLASH!! NO! MJ GOT THE KNEES UP! MALCOLM GETTUNG BACK ON THE OFFENSIVE AS HE YANKS TLA BACK UP NOW BY THE ARM! MALCOLM WITH A IRISH WHIP TO THE OPPOSITE CORNER I THINK HE’S LOOKING FOR A WATER WHIP-TLA MOVES OUT OF THE WAY OF THE RUNNING KNEE, TLA BEHIND MALCOLM…BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! MALCOLM IS SENT ROLLING TO THE CENTER OF THE RING, TLA TO THE TOP ROPE, MOONSAULT- NOPE! MALCOLM MOVES OUT OF THE WAY LEAVING NOBODY HOME FOR TLA! MALCOLM CRAWLING TO THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: KICKOUT! It looks like Malcolm is not happy, TLA is reaching to the ropes, but Malcolm is grabbing him by the legs! TLA is struggling to get up but Malcolm isn’t letting go, TLA is getting up…HE STOMPS DOWN ON THE ARM OF MALCOLM! TLA is stumbling away as Malcolm grasping his arm in pain! TLA STOMPING ON THE ARM AGAIN! THE REF IS TRYING TO SPLIT UP BOTH MEN AS TLA IS RELENTLESS ON HIS ATTACK! FINALLY, the ref is checking on Malcolm, it looks like TLA is resting in the corner, wait he’s going to the top rope…DIVING KNEE DROP ON THE ARM OF MALCOLM! BUT-MALCOLM WITH THE ROLLUP PIN ATTEMPT HERE!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: KICKOUT! TLA was caught by surprise, Malcolm back up to his feet, he’s walking over…TLA TRYING TO CRAWL OUT OF THE RING BUT MALCOLM IS PULLING HIM BACK TO HIS FEET, TLA WITH A ELBOW, BUT MALCOLM WITH A KICK TO THE GUT…SWINGING NECKBREAKER! MALCOLM GOING FOR THE PIN BUT TLA IS TRYING TO ROLL OUT OF THE RING AGAIN, BUT TLA LIFTING HIS KNEE RIGHT INTO MALCOLM’S FACE! TLA getting up, TLA GOING FOR A CLOTHESLINE-MALCOLM DUCKS…PELE KICK! TLA looks dazed, he’s stumbling back as Malcolm runs towards him️…DROPKICK BY TLA! TLA TURNS THE TABLES AS HE’S VICIOUSLY ATTACKING MALCOLM WITH PUNCHES AND KICKS! TLA moves back…KICK TO THE FACE OF A KNEELING MALCOLM JONES! Malcolm is looking up…STOMP BY TLA TO THE FACE OF MALCOLM! MALCOLM IS BEING DOMINATED BY TLA, TLA is bringing him back up…CROSSED PATHS! CROSS ARMBREAKER IS LOCKED IN! MALCOLM IS TRYING TO REACH FOR THE ROPES, HE’S CLOSE…TLA LETS GO, NO! HE’S DRAGGING MALCOLM TO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! CROSSED- NO MALCOLM KICKS HIS LEGS UP, USING THEM TO YANK TLA BACK TO THE MAT! ELBOW TO THE ARM OF TLA FORCING HIM TO LET GO OF MALCOLM! TLA IS GRABBING THE BOTTOM ROPE AS MALCOLM GOES FOR THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: THE REF SEES IT, THE PIN IS BROKEN! TLA IS BEING DRAGGED TO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING BY MALCOLM…KNEE DROP! HE’S KEEPING HIS KNEE RIGHT ON THE BACK OF TLA AND PULLING BACK ON HIS NECK TO BEND HIS SPINE, WHAT! IS THE REF COUNTING THIS AS A SUBMISSION!
Deadprez: I mean yes.
Eve: Alright. TLA IS TRYING TO ESCAPE IT, HE MANAGES TO PRY MALCOLMS HANDS OFF HIS FACE AND HE’S ROLLED HIMSELF OVER, MALCOLM IS LIFTING HIS FOOT, BUT TLA HAS A HOLD OF IT, HE’S BRINGING MALCOLM DOWN…AR15-NO MALCOLM KICKS AWAY, Both men are on their feet…DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN THE CROWD AS GONE WILD! BOTH MEN ARE DEAD ON THE FLOOR- BUT WAIT TLA’S LIFTING HIS ARM, HE’S PUT IT ON MALCOLM, PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: KICKOUT! TLA IS SHOCKED, HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE! THE DETERMINATION OF EACH OF THESE COMPETITORS IS ASTONISHING! TLA is dragging himself to his feet, he looks shook. TLA is bringing Malcolm back up, MALCOLM WITH A ELBOW TO THE FACE OF TLA! TLA RETALIATING WITH A FOREARM, ELBOW, PUNCH, GUT KICK BY TLA…MANDIBLE CLAW- BUT MALCOLM KICKS TLA IN THE GUT BEFORE HE CAN BE PUSHED TO THE GROUND! MALCOLM LIFTING TLA OVER HIS HEAD- TLA LANDING ON HIS FEET, CLOTHESLINE- MALCOLM DUCKS UNDER TLA…THE CUBAN LINK, THE COBRA CLUTCH IS LOCKED IN! TLA THO, HE’S PUSHED MALCOLM TO THE ROPES- ROPE BREAK! MALCOLM PUSHING TLA, BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! MALCOLM IS ROLLING BACK TO HIS FEET, TLA IS ON ONE KNEE…THE L-TRAIN! CANADIAN DESTROYER CONNECTS ON TLA, MALCOLM WITH THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREE—
Eve: KICKOUT! TLA ISN’T GIVING IN, Malcolm isn’t happy, he’s arguing with the ref…TLA! TLA WITH THE SCHOOLBOY, SWAG SHOT! PIMP SLAP LANDS ON THE FACE OF MALCOLM JONES! BUT MALCOLM IS STILL UP, TLA WITH THE IRISH WHIP…TLA RUNNING, FOREARM- MALCOLM MOVES OUT OF THE WAY, HE KICKS TLA IN THE KNEE, MALCOLM THROWING TLA DOWN, MALCOLM JONES TO THE TOP ROPE…THE RE-UP, NO TLA MOVES OUT OF THE WAY HE DODGES THE DIVING LEG DROP! MALCOLM LANDS INTO A SITTING POSITION, TLA IS BRINGING HIM STRAIGHT UP…VERY MEXICAN UPPERCUT, HE’S STAYING UP, ANOTHER UPPERCUT, ANOTHER ONE, AND ANOTHER, MALCOLM FALLS RIGHT DOWN, TLA WITH THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: MALCOLM KICKS OUT! TLA is emotionless as he keeps the pace going, TLA to the top rope…MALCOLM ROLLS OUT OF THE RING, HE’S STILL DOWN, NO, DON’T DO IT! CORKSCREW 360 SENTON TO THE OUTSIDE RIGHT TO MALCOLM JONES FROM TLA, BUT HE MISSES! MALCOLM GRABBING TLA AND THROWING HIM INTO THE RING! TLA STUMBLING BUT STILL GETTING UP, MALCOLM FOLLOWS, OH! MALCOLM WITH A GUT KICK, VERY MEXICAN UPPERCUT BY TLA, FOREARM BY MALCOLM, SWAG SHOT BY TLA, FOREARM, UPPERCUT, GUT KICK, FOREARM! BOTH MEN ARE NOT GIVING IN- TLA FALLS TO THE GROUND! MALCOLM GRABS TLA BY THE BACK OF THE NECK AND DRAGS HIM BACK TO HIS FEET! BUT TLA WITH A GUT KICK, TLA DIVES TO THE SIDE AND A ROLL UP BY TLA!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: KICK OUT BUT TLA HAS GOTTEN A HOLD OF MALCOLM, TLA LIFTING HIM UP INTO A SUPLEX- NO MALCOLM PUTTING DOWN ALL HIS WEIGHT…MALCOLM WITH A SUPLEX! TLA LANDS HARD ON HIS BACK AND MALCOLM RUSHES UP TO THE TOP…HE LINES UP…5 STAR SWAG SPLASH! MALCOLM WITH THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: NO! KICKOUT! TLA STILL HASN’T GIVEN UP AS HE GETS THE SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST SECOND! TLA IS UNRESPONSIVE, HE MUST HAVE KICKED OUT ON PURE INSTINCT! MALCOLM DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! HE’S GOING BACK UP TO THE TOP…5 STAR SWAGSPLASH ONE MORE TIME TO FINISH IT OFF- BUT TLA GOT THE KNEES UP THIS TIME! MALCOLM BOUNCES OFF EHILE CLUTCHING AT HIS RIBS BUT TLA REACHES OVER GRABBING THE ARM OF MALCOLM…CROSSED PATHS, CROSS ARMBREAKER IS SYNCHED IN! TLA IS TRYING TO BREAK MALCOLM’S ARM! MALCOLM! HE’S BRIDGING TLA UP, AND ROLLS HIM BACK ONTO HIS SHOULDERS!!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: TLA LETS GO JUST IN TIME BUT NOW MALCOLM ROLLS HIM THROGH AND BRIDGES THE LEGS!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: KICKOUT!!!! WHAT A MATCH!
Eve: DEAD WHEN SO MUCH IS ON THE LINE YOU’VE GOT TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES-
Deadprez: HURRICANRANA BY TLA, TLA UP TO THE TOP ROPE…SHOOTING STAR PRESS! THE 420 CONNECTS BUT HE’S NOT DONE, HE’S UP TO THE TOP AGAIN, BURNOUT-MALCOLM MOVES OUT OF THE WAY, TLA SITS UP…DROPKICK! MALCOLM BRINGING TLA UP, TLA THROWING HIM TO THE ROPES, BUT MALCOLM GRABBING ONTO TLA AS HE RUNS TO THE CORNER…TORNADO FACEBUSTER! BUCK 50 CONNECTS AS MALCOLM GOES FOR THE PIN AGAIN ON TLA!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: WHAT!?!? TLA HAS THE ROPES, MALCOLM IS FORCED TO BREAK THE PIN, HE’S ARGUING WITH THE REF AGAIN, BUT TLA GRABBING THE LEG OF MALCOLM, HE’S PULLING HIM DOWN TO THE GROUND…MODIFIED TEXAS CLOVERLEAF, THE AR15 IS LOCKED IN ON MALCOLM JONES!
Ref: DO YOU TAP MALCOLM?!?!?!?!
Malcolm Jones: HELL NO!
Deadprez: MALCOLM REFUSING TO GIVE UP…TLA IS TRYING TO BRING HIM TO THE CENTER OF THE RING BUT HE’S JUST LOOSENING THE HOLD, MALCOLM ROLLING OVER BRINGING TLA WITH HIM, TLA BREAKING THE HOLD…FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK BY MALCOLM! TLA QUICKLY TURNING IT OVER THOUGH! THE FIGURE FOUR HAS BEEN REVERSED ON MALCOLM, MALCOLM IS FORCED TO BREAK! BOTH GET BACK TO THEIR FEET AND MALCOLM RUSHES IN WITH A KNEE TO TLA’S ABDOMEN! MALCOLM THROWING TLA IN BETWEEN HIS LEGS, HE’S LOOKING FOR THE L-TRAIN, BUT TLA LIFTS HIM OVER HIS HEAD…AND BACK DOWN WITH A BACK BODY DROP, TLA IS RUNNING THE ROPES…SIDE KICK TO THE FACE OF MALCOLM, TLA WITH THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: QUICK KICK OUT BY MALCOLM! TLA BRINGING MALCOLM UP AGAIN, FOREARM! ANOTHER ONE, ANOTHER ONE! MALCOLM KICKING TLA IN THE SHIN…ENZIGURI! TLA IS KNOCKED BACKWARDS…C-NOTE- NO TLA MOVES OUT OF THE WAY OF THE SPEAR, HE’S MOVING IN ON MALCOLM, HEADLOCK! MALCOLM REACHING FOR THE ROPES…ROPE BREAK! TLA LETTING GO BUT MALCOLM IS UP, BACK ELBOW TO TLA! TLA WITH A KICK TO MALCOLM, MALCOLM WITH A PUNCH TO TLA…MALCOLM WITH A CLOTHESLINE, NO TLA DUCKS UNDER…CARTEL KICK! BUT MALCOLM IS STILL UP…PELE KICK, TLA IS STILL UP, BUT MALCOLM IS THROWING TLA TO THE ROPES…TORNADO DDT BY TLA! TLA GOING FOR THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: KICKOUT! TLA GETTING UP…ELBOW DROP! ANOTHER ONE- NO MALCOLM MOVES OUT OF THE WAY, HE’S THROWING TLA TO THE ROPES…TLA WITH THE TORNADO FACEBUSTER- NO! NO! MALCOLM STAYING UP, TLA IS SHOCKED, MALCOLM…PUSHING TLA OFF AND INTO THE OPPOSITE CORNER! TLA IS TRYING TO LAND PUNCHES ON MALCOLM BUT MALCOLM LETS GO OF TLA, MALCOLM IRISH WHIPS TLA TO THE CORNER…WATER WHIP, BUT TLA DODGES OUT OF THE WAY AND MALCOLMS KNEE COLLIDES WITH THE TURNBUCKLE AS TLA NOW RUSHES HIM…
Eve: BUT MALCOLM NOW DODGES TLA AND LA PANTERA SEXUAL RUNS SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE STEEL POST! MALCOLM IS LIMPING ON THAT KNEE BUT STILL TRYING TO GO FOR THE FINISH! HE GRABS TLA UP AND LOOKS FOR THE L TRAIN AGAIN! BUT TLA DRIVES HIM BACK! OH NO! TLA BLINDLY DRIVES MALCOLM INTO THE REFEREE AS THEY ALL COLLIDE IN THE CORNER! THE REFEREE IS DOWN BUT TLA DOESNT SEE! THE MEXICAN DESTROYER! HE PLANTS MALCOLM ON HIS SKULL AND GOES FOR THE COVER!
Crowd: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
Deadprez: TLA has realized that the referee is down and out! He had this won but he can’t get the count! TLA is beside himself as he thought it was finally over and he was going to get his moment! He goes and tries to shake the referee awake— BUT HERE COMES MALCOLM NOW! HE HAS RECOVERED AND GRABS TLA BY THE BACK OF THE HEAD BEFORE TOSSING HIM OUT OF THE RING AND OUT TO THE FLOOR! OH! TLA LANDED HARD ON THAT HURT SHOULDER FROM MOMENTS AGO! Malcolm sliding out of the ring now and still looks like he’s favoring that knee! He tries to massage some blood into it before walking over and dragging TLA over to the commentary area! But look! The referee is up and trying to get to his feet! HES STARTING THE COUNT! BOTH MEN ARE STILL OUTSIDE OF THE RING!
Ref: ONE!
Eve: MALCOLM DRIVES TLA BACK FIRST INTO THE SPANISH COMMENTARY DESK! HE CRASHED HARD AND… OH DAMN THE EDGE OF THE DESK JUST OPENED A CUT ACROSS TLA’S BACK!
Ref: TWO!
Eve: NOW MALCOLM ROLLING TLA ONTO THE DESK AND PAUSING ONLY TO POUND HIS FIST ACROSS HIS JAW WITH A COUPLE SHOTS TO KEEP TLA DAZED! MALCOLM STRUGGLES HIS WAY UP ONTO THE DESK HIMSELF, FIGHTING THROUGH THAT INJURED KNEE!!
Ref: THREE!
Malcolm Jones (off mic): I HEAR YOU! SHUT UP!
Deadprez: Malcolm not happy with the ref’s count but he grabs TLA by the head and… OH NO NOT THIS! NO! MJ PLACING TLA’S HEAD BETWEEN HIS LEGS! HES GOING TO THE WELL ONE MORE TIME!
Ref: FOUR!
Eve: L TRAIN! THE CANADIAN DESTROYER JUST PLANTED TLA SKULL FURST AND THE TABLE COLLAPSES UNDERNEATH HIM AND DRIVING HIM ONTO HIS SKULL A SECOND TIME AS HE HITS THE GROUND!
Ref: FIVE!
Deadprez: BUT THE WAY THEY FELL! WHEN THE TABLE COLLAPSED AND THEY FELL THROUGH ALL OF TLA’S BODY WEIGHT FELL RIGHT ONTO THAT HURT KNEE OF MALCOLM’S!
Ref: SIX!
Deadprez: MALCOLM IS IN MAJOR PAIN! HES WRITHING AROUND ON THE GROUND AND CLUTCHING THAT KNEE! TLA IS MOTIONLESS AS HE LAYS ON THE GROUND!
Ref: SEVEN!
Deadprez: MJ NOW TRYING TO GET TO HIS FEET AS HE CLAWS AT THE BARRICADE LOOKING FOR A GRIP BUT HE CANT OUT ANY WEIGHT ON THAT KNEE! WHO KNOWS WHAT DAMAGE WAS DONE?!?
Ref: EIGHT!
Eve: HE MANAGES TO DRAG HIMSELF UP TO ONE GOOD LEG! TLA IS STIRRING BUT HES BARELY MOVED! MJ TRYING TO HOP HIS WAY TO THE RING!
Ref: NINE!
Eve: TLA ROLLS OVER AND SEES MALCOLM! HE TRIES TO DRIVE WITH HIS KNEES! BUT MALCOLM WORKING HIS WAY TO THE APRON AND TRIES TO TAKE OFF!
Ref: TEN!
Eve: BUT TLA GRABS MJ BY THE FOOT AT THE LAST INSTANT AND BOTHE COLLAPSE TO THE GROUND!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Gina Romano: Due to a double countout, the referee has ruled this match officially as a no contest!
Crowd: Booooooooooooooo!!!
Eve: The crowd very displeased with the out come. And honestly so am I. Hate to see these two go through so much for there to be no winner. You have to wonder what this means for Grand Rampage as—
(“No Regrets” by Pusha T hits as Hurricane Hawk walks out with the Openweight Championship over one shoulder and the King of Elite crown in his opposite hand. He looks down to the ring as MJ has managed to roll into the ring where he lays exhausted, TLA has propped himself up against the apron.)
Hurricane Hawk: Well… I said that someone was going to challenge Ahren at Grand Rampage. And you both fought hard for it. No one can deny that you both want it more than anything. So here’s what I’m thinking. With the double count out… there’s no real winner. And I did say someone had to win in order to cash in before the other.
(He pauses as he looks down at the crown and belt.)
Hurricane Hawk: And the way I see it, you two really should be able to cash these things in when you want. Since there was no real winner, then there’s also no real loser. Ahren did tell me that he wanted a real challenge at Grand Rampage. So how about this. I’ll accept your cash ins. And we will make it Ahren Fournier versus TLA versus Malcolm Jones for the EAW Championship at Grand Rampage in a Triple Threat match!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Eve: WHOA! A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT BY HURRICANE HAWK! BOTH THE KING OF ELITE AND OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIPS HAVE BEEN CASHED IN AND BOTH TLA AND MALCOLM JONES WILL CHALLENGE AHREN FOURNIER AT GRAND RAMPAGE! THE CHAMPION SAID HE WANTED SOMETHING INTERESTING! I WOULD SAY THIS SHOULD HAVE HIS ATTENTION!
Deadprez: That’s true, Eve. But this is still the GOAT we’re talking about. We’ll have to get his reaction when he returns to Showdown next week!
(Camera shows TLA finally on his feet, stumbling as he clutches his head. Malcolm has propped himself over in a corner, massaging his knee. Both men stare briefly up at Hawk before locking eyes on each other. Tensions seeming to rise between them as the camera fades to black.)
(EAW Network Logo Buzzes.)
