Anna C. Flowers
(EAW Intro plays)
(Camera opens to see a shot of a man walking with his hood pulled up as he approached the rear of the DirecTV Arena in Buenos Aires.)
???: Fucking bullshit.
(The man takes his hood down to reveal SOSA Henderson walking up. He cracks his knuckles as he reaches for the arena’s service door)
SOSA Henderson: I’ll teach these fuckers a lesson. You don’t steal from me.
(SOSA disappears through the door)
(“DNA” by Kendrick Lamar plays as the Showdown intro plays for the broadcast before opening to the packed house inside the arena and pans over the crowd. We see various signs like “Me Gusta Poon” “CABRA” and “¿Quien Es el Rey?” Before cutting to the commentary desk to show Eve and Deadprez)
Eve: HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME TO EAW’S FLAGSHIP SHOW! ITS SATURDAY NIGHT AND WE ARE LIVE! THAT MEANS ITS TIME FOR YET ANOTHER EXCITING EDITION OF SATURDAY NIGHT SHOWDOWN!
Deadprez: That’s right! And it is exciting as were expecting to hear from Drake King as he prepares to take on the reigning King of Elite and Interwire Champion, Malcolm Jones at Under Siege! Not to mention that we will see yet another man added to the New Breed Gauntlet match!
Eve: And that’s not all, DP! TLA will be making a couple of appearance himself as he’s expected to address his opponent for Ides of March! And then the Openweight Champion will return later in the night to compete in a fatal four way to determine who will face EAW Champion, Ahren Fournier, at Under Siege!
(“Starboi” by The Weeknd hits to massive boos as Ahren Fournier and Kassidy Heart make their entrance draped in gold. Kassidy has the Unified Tag Team Championship around her waist and the Vixens Championship over her shoulder while Ahren has the EAW Championship around his waist. Both wear matching golden fur coats and Ahren has a golden umbrella)
Eve: Speak of the Devil and he shall appear.
Deadprez: That’s not the Devil. That’s the GOAT. The guy who calls himself the Devil is on Dynasty I think?
Eve: You’re kidding, right?
(Ahren and Kassidy enter the ring. They are both handed microphones but look at them with disgust before pulling out golden microphones from their fur coats)
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Deadprez: *looking at his phone* well Donovan Cross at least wears a devil mask I know that…
Eve: Put your phone away. What are you even doing?
(Ahren moves to speak into the microphone but is cut off by the crowd)
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(Ahren grins, pleased by the reaction. He chooses to just talk over them)
Ahren Fournier: Well it seems tonight is the night. Tonight is when they’ll crown my big bad opponent for Under Siege in front of this uneducated, ungrateful, and insufferable group. But here’s the problem. IT. DOESNT. MATTER. All of these inferior and disgusting excuses want to call themselves worthy but none of them are! No one can step in the ring with me! Last week I killed Clarence Lovelace dead and buried him out back! Why is that?
(Ahren takes off his sunglasses)
Ahren Fournier: BECAUSE I AM THE GOAT AND THIS IS MY FARM!!!! I don’t wast my time on anything but the best, and since I AM the best, there’s no sense in even having this match because NO ONE will ever take this title from me! Do you see me going around eating somewhere cheap like McDonalds on a regular basis? No! Because I deserve better! Because I deserve a fine dining experience with top tier delicacies! Because I deserve a place with a functioning ice cream machine! Seriously, how do you have 37,000 restaurants and not one working ice cream machine?
Kassidy Heart: Seriously? We’re doing this again?
Ahren Fournier: NO WE ARE NOT! Because I deserve better than that greasy trash! You see, Ahren Fournier, The GOAT, is filet mignon. The rest of this roster is nothing more than whatever the fuck Chudd decided to eat off the dollar menu before he got to the arena!
Kassidy Heart: Before we get too much farther down this rabbit hole—
Ahren Fournier: UTTER GARBAGE!
Kassidy Heart: IF I CAN SPEAK! Ok. What the GOAT is trying to say is that no one who can be put in this match at Under Siege can compare. He’s easily the best this show has to offer and it’s not even close! And that’s why I have partnered myself with him! You see I’m the best Empire has to offer! And since they seem to not want me around because they fucking fear me, I aligned myself with someone equally as unappreciated! I am a Unified Tag Team Champion with one of my only two equals from Empire, the flawless Sienna Jade.
Ahren Fournier: *mumbling* Flawless is a bit much.
Kassidy Heart: *glaring* UGH! RUDE! She is my queen.
(Ahren gives Kassidy a smirk)
Kassidy Heart: The other obviously being the beautiful Tyler Wolfe. I am also the Vixen’s Champion. And in a few short weeks I will ALSO be the Iconic Cup holder. And all the same, Empire won’t want me around because it doesn’t respect my talents. That’s why Magnum Opus formed in the first place! Because Ahren—
Ahren Fournier: BECAUSE NO ONE WANTED TO RECOGNIZE MY GOATNESS! EVEN AS INTERWIRE CHAMPION I WAS LAUGHED AT BY THE LIKES OF CURRENT RETIREMENT HOME RESIDING DRUNK GRANDPA, THE HEART BREAK BOY! BUT WHOS LAUGHING NOW?!? IM THE EAW CHAMPION AND YOU PROBABLY GOT A CATHETER UP YOUR DICK AND—
Kassidy Heart: You’ve had too many lattes today.
Ahren Fournier: There’s no such thing. But we come out here draped in gold for a reason. To remind every last one of you exactly who runs things! It’s the two you most want to ignore! But let me leave you all with this, I’ll be watching tonight. And when some insignificant sod gets his hand raised at the end, I’ll be watching as the feeling of dread comes over his face as he realizes he’s going to get these hooves!
(“Starboi” picks back up as the pair exit the ring and make their way back up the ramp)
Eve: Strong words from the champion!
Deadprez: McDonalds better watch they ass!
Eve: I meant regarding the contendership match tonight but yeah. Sure. Whatever.
(Commercial for the Ava family history, written by Henrique. It won the author a best seller award posthumously.)
Gina Romano: The following contest is a qualifier for the New Breed Gauntlet Match, and it’s scheduled for ONE FALL…..
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!
(“You Only Live Once (Instrumental)” by Suicide Silence starts playing as the stage gets filled with smoke and the lights play around in sync with the music. Slowly, Damon Diesel comes out making his way to the ring, as he climbs the steel stairs and raises his hands up causing the pyro to blast.)
Gina Romano: Introducing first, He hails from Orlando, Florida…He weighs in at TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN POUNDS….HE’S THE UNCHAINED BEAST….DAMMMMOOOOOONNNNN DIIIIEEEEESSSSEEEELLLLLL!!!
Eve: Last week Damon Diesel had a golden opportunity to stamp his ticket toward getting a shot at the Interwire Championship, but unfortunately it wasn’t to be, DP!
Deadprez: The Unchained Beast came out with every bit of intent to take his spot in the sweepstakes to be the next Challenger for the current Interwire Champion, Malcolm Jones, but despite that setback he gets another shot, another opportunity to fight for the right to contend for gold. This time it’s for the New Breed Championship!
(“All Fall Down” begins to play as Justiciar Eric makes his way out from the back. He’s wearing his custom made black shirt that says A.O.T.O. on it with red underlining the words. The Display of Justiciar Eric being carried and ushered to the ring sitting on the shoulders of The First Disciple’s massive shoulders with The Age of The Order flag hanging over Eric’s shoulder.)
Gina Romano: And introducing his opponent….He hails from Jacksonville, Florida….He weighs in at TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY POUNDS…HE’S THE LORD OF ORDER….JUSTICIARRRRR ERRRRRIIIICCCC!!!
(Eric jumps in the ring working his arms and legs, jumping up and down getting loose after he enters the ring finally as his music ceases)
Eve: Well this man has been unique to say the least, both in presentation and in the ring, but regardless he’s getting the same opportunity to fight for the right to contend for the New Breed Championship that Damon Diesel gets!
Deadprez: Justiciar just might be what this place needs, you never know. But one thing is for sure, and that’s with an impressive showing tonight it could prove that he’s made for better things that have yet to take shape! The Lord of looks ready!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Eve: It was just a week ago that Damon Diesel was competing for right to compete for the Interwire Championship, and now this week it’s about getting an opportunity at fighting for the New Breed Championship in the very near future, the same opportunity that Justiciar Eric here has his sights on. So let’s not count the man out for a second. He’s just as determined if not more so to get back into the ring again with the New Breed title on the line! Winning tonight would go a long ways in putting him right back in that same scenario!
Deadprez: Indeed. And here we go! Both men circle the ring, staring each other down. Now both competitors start in on each other. Damon Diesel and Justiciar Eric lock up, with Damon Diesel gaining control immediately as he has a side headlock applied on Justiciar, Damon tightening the pressure of the side headlock as Justiciar quickly backs up into the ropes and sends Damon Diesel off, breaking the side headlock, Damon Diesel comes running back off the ropes with a Lou Thesz Press to Justiciar!! JUSTICIAR ERIC IN TROUBLE ALREADY HERE, TRYING TO COVER UP AND PROTECT HIMSELF FROM THOSE RAPID FISTS OF FURY FROM THE UNCHAINED BEAST!!
Eve: Damon Diesel is now grabbing Justiciar Eric off the canvas, still in control of the occasion, sending a HARD knife edged chops at the open chest of Justiciar Eric who grimaces in pain with each chop being backed into the corner now, again trying to cover up to no avail! Damon Diesel still on the offensive, continuing his onslaught as he is not done firing the those rapid knife edged chops to the now lit up chest of Justiciar! Damon looking to sit Justiciar on the top rope, he’s looking to try something here, but Justiciar is not having any of it as he is now finally shaking off the cobwebs of the slow start, laying into Damon Diesel with a left-right combination of punches to the face of Damon Diesel as Damon stumbles back a bit!
Deadprez: Justiciar Eric hops down off the turnbuckle and moves in on Damon Diesel with a series of kicks and now punches!!! DAMON DIESEL IS DOING ALL HE CAN TO REVERSE THE SUDDEN BURST OF STEAM BY JUSTICIAR ERIC HERE!!! AND NOW JUSTICIAR WITH A KNIFE EDGE CHOP OF HIS OWN THAT CAN BE HEARD ALL THROUGHOUT THE ARENA!!! MY GOD THATS GOING TO LEAVE MARK!!! DAMON DIESEL NOW THE ONE REELING BACK INTO THAT CORNER WITH NOWHERE TO GO!!! JUSTICIAR ERIC RUNNING AT DAMON DIESEL IN THE CORNER, AND DELIVERS A DROPKICK TO MIDSECTION OF DAMON DIESEL, RIGHT ON TARGET KNOCKING THE UNCHAINED BEAST INTO A SITTING POSITION!! ITS ALL JUSTICIAR ERIC AT THE MOMENT, AND ANOTHER DROPKICK, THIS TIME TO THE GROIN OF DAMON DIESEL!!!
Eve: Damon Diesel immediately holding his groin area and crawling out of the corner being closely pursued by “The Lord of Order”. Justiciar Eric picks up Damon Diesel and delivers a kick to his gut followed up by a double underhook suplext! Justiciar looking for the pinfall right here, going for the cover!
ONNNNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!….TWWWOOOO!!!!……KICKOUTTTTTTT!!!
Deadprez: Damon Diesel manages to kickout!! Justiciar Eric hits the ropes now, going for what he calls the Cleansing Trigger – The Bicycle Knee strike-NO!! Damon Diesel sidesteps!! Damon Diesel was able to avoid the Cleansing Trigger from Justiciar Eric as Justiciar hits the canvas…Justiciar is quick to recover though, but is put back down just as quickly as Damon Diesel floors him with a beautiful standing dropkick!! Justiciar is down, Damon Diesel grabs Justiciar Eric and brings him back to his feet and looks for the SUPERKICK!!! But Justiciar Eric ducks it and HITS THE PELE KICK!! SWEEPING OVERHEAD KICK ACROSS THE BACK OF DAMON DIESEL’S HEAD!! Damon Diesel slowly rising back up, Justiciar now delivering hard rights to the head of Damon Diesel, and now the headbutt from Justiciar! Playing it smart to keep the offense going taking it right to Damon Diesel to ensure the momentum stays with him, a series that could prove to be most helpful towards winning this bout if he keeps it up! Damon Diesel reeling at the moment! AND NOW A BRAINBUSTER FROM JUSTICIAR ERIC!!! WOW!! JUSTICIAR ERIC GOES FOR THE COVER!! HE COULD GET THE UPSET RIGHT HERE!!!
ONNNNNEEEE!!!!…..TWWWWOOOOO!!!…..THHHRRRR!!!!…KICKOUT!!!
Eve: Damon Diesel kicks out again! Justiciar already back to his feet now. Damon Diesel showing impressive resiliency to kick out of that brainbuster by Justiiar Eric! Justiciar staring down at a recovering Damon Diesel, and now Damon is on his feet, BUT JUSTICIAR ERIC WITH ORDER IMPACT-THE JUMPING CUTTER!!-NO!! DAMON DIESEL REVERSES IT RIGHT INTO A RUNNING BULLDOG THAT JUSTICIAR ERIC’S FACE STRAIGHT INTO THE CANVAS!! AND HE QUICKLY FOLLOWS IT UP BY PICKING JUSTICIAR UP AND TAKING HIM BACK DOWN WITH A ‘ROULETTE’-SPINOUT POWERBOMB TO JUSTICIAR, WHO WAS RISING BACK UP TO A VERITICAL POSITION, AND DAMON DIESEL NOW GOING FOR THE COVER!!
ONNNEEEEEEE!!!…..TWWWWWOOOOOO!!!….KICKOUT!!!!
Deadprez: Now it’s Justiciar showing resiliency by kicking out and Damon Diesel getting a bit frustrated here! He needs to keep his cool. Now Justiciar Eric and Damon Diesel are going at it! Justiciar with the advantage whips Damon Diesel to the ropes but Damon able grab the ropes to keep prevent a possible takedown! Justiciar rushes in now on Damon who leapsfrogs over Justiciar and lands on his feet! Running Dropkick by Diesel sends Justiciar falling back against the ropes to a seated position in the corner! Damon Diesel backpedals a few paces and then runs right for the seated Justiciar Eric! GET CRUSHED! THE DOUBLE KNEES TO THE HEAD!! NO!!! JUSTICIAR MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND DAMON DIESEL STOPS HIMSELF FROM SURE DISASTER THERE! JUSTICIAR BACK TO HIS FEET AND GRABS DAMON DIESEL HOWEVER AND WHIPS HIM TO THE ROPES BUT DAMON REVERSES IT AND SENDS JUSTICIAR ERIC TO THE ROPES! BUT JUSTICIAR ABLE TO LEAP OVER THE ROPES WITH HIS MOMENTUM BUT GRABS THEM IN ONE MOTION AND LANDS ON HIS FEET ON THE APRON! WHAT ATHLETICISM BY JUSTICIAR! BUT HERE COMES DAMON DIESEL! BUT JUSTICIAR ERIC WITH A FOREARM TO STOP THE POSSIBLE ATTACK BY DAMON DIESEL STAGGERING HIM BACKWARD! JUSTICIAR HOPS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND BACK INTO THE RING! DAMON DIESEL RUNS AT JUSTICIAR WITH A CLOTHESLINE THAT MISSES ITS TARGET! JUSTICIAR DUCKS IT! SUPERKICK BY JUSTICIAR STAGGERS DAMON DIESEL! SPEAR BY JUSTICIAR JUST KNOCKED THE WIND OUT OF DAMON DIESEL’S SAILS! DAMON DIESEL TRIES TO RECOVER BUT HE’S CLEARLY ON DREAMSTREET! JUSTICIAR ERIC PULLS DAMON DIESEL IN! HE HAS HIM! THE PURIFICATION! DOUBLE UNDERHOOK PEDIGREE DRIVER! DAMON DIESEL IS OUT! JUSTICIAR COVER DAMON DIESEL!
Referee: ONNNNNEEEE!….TWWWWOOOO!….THHHHRRREEE!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“All Fall Down” begins to play again as referee raises the hand of Justiciar Eric.)
Gina Romano: The winner of this match by pinfall and advancing to the New Breed Gauntlet match at Underseige!…….JUSTICIARRRRRR ERRRIICCCC!!!
Eve: A pretty impressive win for young Justiciar Eric! He took the fight straight to Damon without being intimidated by his reputation as a brawler and a hard hitter! The rookie’s maturity sure paid off tonight!
Deadprez: It sure did, Eve, and now he’s punched his ticket to Underseige where he will have a chance to earn a shot at the New Breed Championship! Tough break for Damon Diesel.
(Justiciar Eric is now shown looking satisfied as he acknowledges the mixed reaction he’s receiving as he starts toward the ramp, the camera only briefly focusing on Damon Diesel who’s still down and out.)
(Commercial for math courses, featuring Xander Payne)
(Camera re opens to the commentary desk)
Eve: Well we are underway here on Showdown! Damon Diesel was helped to the back during the break and we are up and going again!
Deadprez: That’s right, and we are awaiting the arrival of the Openweight—
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac hits to massive cheers as TLA comes out with the Openweight Championship over his shoulder and a microphone in hand.)
Crowd: ¡PAN-TER-A! ¡PAN-TER-A! ¡PAN-TER-A!
Gina Romano: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Openweight Champion, T! L! A!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(TLA climbs up and into the ring. He sits on the second rope to let Gina out before giving her a wink and a poon palace business card. He climbs into the ring and adjusts the championship on his shoulder)
TLA: ¡Hola mis amigos!
Crowd: ¡HOLA! ¡HOLA! ¡HOLA!
TLA: Si. Si. Un goal and allat shit. You see, last week I got disrespected inside this ring. Chris Elite wanna come down acting like he got some huevos while a 45 foot tall body guard be standing behind him, talking about how TLA should conduct his business. But I ain’t concerned. You see later tonight, ya boy is gonna become both the Openweight Champion and the number one contender to the EAW Championship! You know what that means? It means that when I go on to Under Siege and do what Chris Elite failed to do, I will serve up some Cabra Enchiladas and hold both titles! Then at Ides of March I’ll make my last defense of the Openweight Championship and have that in the back pocket! So even if I ever lose the EAW Championship, I got that guaranteed rematch right there. That’s called insurance. TLA got mad business sense. So I ain’t worried about Chris Elite and his disrespect. He gonna get the claws de La Pantera tonight.
(TLA grins at the crowd who cheer him on)
TLA: So what I’m out here to do is talk to someone specific. Erebus Jennings. Now we all know Erebus and as a community struggle to understand where the fuck that name be coming from. But I got no beef with the man who wears more makeup than the entire poon palace staff combined. Nah dawg. I saw you get that culo beat last night, but I saw it come after a good win where you kept fighting. Got dat heart. But last week, that funky British guy from Dynasty came running around the blue brand and he told my man Hurricane Hawk that you was gonna be challenging me for the Openweight Championship at Ides of March. You seem like you got your shit already full with Mr. DEDEDE and his sex club over there on Dynasty, but if you wanna take on the challenge, I respect it.
TLA: But lemme just warn you. La Pantera Sexual ain’t gonna take this lightly. Just because imma be the EAW Champion and the Openweight Champion all at once don’t mean I ain’t gonna give you the blood sweat and tears just like every other hombre that stepped up in this ring! I’m still that same man that got that pink slip before I went a showed ‘em all that they was just scared of what I could be! And that’s the same man you getting at Ides of March, hermano. So I know you got yo whole power of Darkness thing you be playin. But you ain’t gonna scare TLA with no voodoo hoodoo doodoo. Nah. I got the power of the panther in me! And if you wanna be that way like the goth putos that get sectioned to the weird ass corner of the Poon Palace—Remember we got something for everybody. Use promo code TLA4GrandChampion for 5% off your next visit—then you gonna get that culo beat just like last night except it gonna come after you them shoulders pinned.
(Suddenly the lights cut out and the Titan tron comes on to show the face of Erebus Jennings)
Erebus Jennings: TLA.
TLA: HOLY SHIT! I ain’t know they was gonna play The Crow on the screen tonight! Where my popcorn at?
Erebus Jennings: TLA. I bring you this message to let you know that at Ides of March, I will show you the true strength of darkness. I advise you to accept its warm embrace. Otherwise you may find yourself fading into the cold abyss.
(The screen cuts out and the lights come back on to show TLA wearing 3D glasses and eating movie popcorn)
TLA: aww damn. $12 for an adult movie ticket and that’s all we get? Boooooo!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
TLA: That’s right. But hey. Brandon Lee be looking good when you consider that la pelicula came out in 1994. But as I was saying. TLA gonna take that W tonight, the W at Under Siege, and the W at Ides of March! They can’t stop us!
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” hits as TLA tosses the glasses and popcorn to the crowd before exiting the ring and making his way back up the ramp)
(Commercial for the poon palace. Use promo code: TLA4GrandChampion)
(Broadcast returns to show grainy footage of two men going down a hallway on a loop before freezing on a shot where we can see their faces. The footage is of Josh Nicholls and Jake Smith, The Revolution)
(Suddenly the camera pulls back to reveal we are watching on a laptop that is suddenly slammed shut by a hand)
???: EXPLAIN YOURSELVES!
(Camera pulls back to show that Hurricane Hawk is standing in his office while the Revolution have shit eating grins on their faces, sitting in chairs across the desk)
Hurricane Hawk: This footage shows that you two were nearby when Leo Quinn was attacked a couple of weeks ago! Explain to me. What were you doing there? Why did you attack Leo?!?
Joshua Nicholls: whoa whoa whoa with the accusations there, boss man.
Jake Smith: We were minding our own business. You see, we are what you call a ‘tag team’. I know it’s a new concept, only been in wrestling since like forever. But we do things together.
Hurricane Hawk: So I’m supposed to believe that you two attacked Malcolm Jones at that live event, but you didn’t attack Leo despite there being evidence you were nearby after it happened?
Jake Smith: Well there’s a key difference between the two. Malcolm, we would attack him again right now if he were here. We have our issues with him. What issues do we have with some random official and his hypertension?
Joshua Nicholls: besides, we did that attack inside the ring. Like men. Not cowards. The Revolution make statements. We don’t do the whole breadcrumb bullshit.
(Hawk scrolls through the footage, the only solid lead he’s had the whole time)
Hurricane Hawk: I know you two were involved. I know it. And I’ll prove it.
Jake Smith: *grinning* Yeah, good luck with that.
Hurricane Hawk: And if either of you two lay a hand on Malcolm Jones between now and Under Siege, you’ll both be fired.
Joshua Nicholls: Oh come on—
Hurricane Hawk: NO! I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS HORSE SHIT! IM NOT HAVING IT ANYMORE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE!!!
Jake Smith: You moody as hell. Just do us one favor.
(Hawk looks at them with a raised eyebrow)
Joshua Nicholls: *smirking* kneel to the Revolution.
(The Revolution stand to leave and keep their smug grins on their faces as they go. Hawk slumps back into his chair and buries his face in his hands before the camera reopens to the ring area)
(‘La Marmelade de Ma Grand Mère’ by Florent Caubien hits as Provencal comes charging out of the curtain trying to pump up the crowd to no success it seems)
Gina Romano: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SET FOR ONE FALL!!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!
Ginal Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST…FROM TRIFFOUILIS-LES-OIES, FRANCE…WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND FOUR POUNDS…THE BUTTER KNIFE….PPRROOVVEENNCAALLL!!!!
Eve: Well if it isn’t one half of the number 1 contenders for the Big Bhris Bhampionship at Tempest!
Deadprez: Oh dear fucking god.
(Provencal’s theme is interrupted as the lights to the arena go off and then Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats – Remember Tomorrow (Cover) hits and One begins slowly walking to the ring staring a hole through Provencal still pissed his entrance got cut short)
Gina Romano: AND HIS OPPONENT….FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA…WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN POUNDS…THE EVIL GENIUS…OOONNEEE!!
Deadprez: Now here’s a man I want to see as he was impressive last week in his debut. He has a dark mind and likes destruction and I look forward what he’s gonna do to this idiot Provencal!
Eve: Come on Deadprez!! One seems impressive but let’s give Provencal his respect!
Deadprez: :usure:
(One slowly steps in the ring as the lights turn back on and his theme fade and Provencal has a mean look on his face)
DING! DING! DING!
Eve: AND THIS IS UNDERWAY! Uh oh Provencal doesn’t look very happy here considering his entrance was interrupted and he walks up to One very angry and…OH MY GOD HE JUST SLAPPED THE FUCK OUT OF ONE!!
Deadprez: WHAT A MORON!
Eve: One looks to be smiling! And Provencal looks to slap him again but One catches his hand…and throws a hard right hand to Provencal and Provencal drops right to the mat! One seems uninterested as he slwoly approaches Provencal and grabs Provencal by the head and Provencal is fighting back here as he throws his elbow into the midsection of One..and then finally throws a elbow into the face of One and One backs off for a quick second….AND PROVENCAL CHARGES and connects with a running hip attack!! IS THIS IT!?!
Ref: ONE… TWO…
Deadprez: NO!! Provencal really thought that would be enough? Provencal now lifts One up to his feet and places One between his legs…what is trying to do?
Eve: But One counters with the back body drop! Provencal now rolls to the apron of the ring and is trying to pull himself up on the outside of the ropes and One is approaching again and Provencal grabs One’s head an drops down to the floor bouncing One off the ropes!! PROVENCAL IS FIRED UP!! PROVENCAL NOW CLIMBS THE TOP ROPE…..HE’S GOING FOR A SPLASH…HE’S LOOKIGN TO SEND A MESSAGE TO CHUDD AND EL LANDERSON!!! BUT NOBODY IS HOME!!
Deadprez: Provencal rises to his feet in pain holding his stomach and One now….SUPERKICK!!! PROVENCAL IS OUT FUCKING COLD!!
(One checks his lip for blood a bit irritated)
Eve: Just pin him already! One lifts up Provencal and OH MY GOD PETIT PAQUET!!! THE SMALL PACKAGE PIN!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?!
Ref: ONE… TWO… THREEEEEE…..
Deadprez: ONE ESCAPES IT THE LAST SECOND!!! BOTH ARE UP AND ONE HITS THE SUPERKICK AGAIN!! ONE THIS TKIME LIFTS UP PROVENCAL VERY QUICKLY AND THE DISCUS LARIAT CLOTHESLINE!! GOOD-FUCKING-NIGHT!!
Ref: ONE… TWO… THREE!!!!
DING! DING! DING!
(One’s theme hits as he stands and gets his hand raised)
Gina Romano: HERE IS YOUR WINNER….OOONNEEEE!!!!
Deadprez: Good debut for One tonight! it’s always great to get the W in your first matches to get your momentum going.
Eve: Absolutely but take nothing away from Provencal. He gave the best fight he could.
Deadprez: Uh huh.
(Commercial for AMA. The latest trend for your favorite Elitists! Find out anything you want!)
(Camera opens to show Damon Diesel being examined by the medical staff after his loss earlier in the night. The doctor motions for Damon to stand up and waves him away, cleared. Damon walks down through the backstage area and around a corner near gorilla)
???: Sup, fuck boy?
(SOSA Henderson suddenly grabs Damon from behind and runs him crashing through a lighting kit. SOSA picks up a steel rod that was part of a soft light support and bashes it over Damon’s back repeatedly. Damon tries to get up but SOSA cracks the rod across Damon’s jaw, sending him to the floor and knocking out a tooth)
SOSA Henderson: Oh we gonna show ‘em tonight.
(SOSA grabs Damon up by the hair and deadlifts him up onto his shoulders before walking out the curtain and towards the ring)
Eve: WHOA! WAIT! WHATS THIS? SOSA Henderson and… is that Damon Diesel?
Deadprez: It is! Damon lost earlier tonight to Justiciar Eric but it looks like SOSA is here to send a message!
(SOSA goes down the ramp and smashes Damon onto the ring apron. He rolls Damon into the ring before climbing up and through the ropes and demanding a microphone.)
SOSA Henderson: Looky looky what I got right here.
(SOSA hauls off and kicks Damon in the ribs)
SOSA Henderson: So last week, I do all the damn work, and then Drake King goes and steals a win from me. STOLE. FROM ME! I’d sue for copyright if I trusted a court room. But Damon took the fucking pin. And this week he gets a shot at getting into a contenders match? And his opponent, who once again beat his ass, is Justiciar Eric. Who had already lost a qualifier. And I’m supposed to sit back and be cool while everyone else be getting chances while I got robbed? Well I’m out here to steal something my damn self. Twice now I’ve left Damon, who keeps getting these chances, looking at the lights. So how about this. I DEMAND the same thing that Eric got. I want into their gauntlet match. If Drake gonna steak my chance at the Interwire title, I’m not gonna sit back and do nothing at Under Siege.
(SOSA throws his arms out and waits but nothing happens)
SOSA Henderson: I know you ain’t ignoring me, Hawk!
(SOSA drags Damon into the ring and drops down on top of him, pounding his fist into Damon’s skull repeatedly, opening a fresh cut over Damon’s eye. SOSA stands up and holds his fist covered in Damon’s blood up in the air)
SOSA Henderson: KEEP IGNORING ME! I AINT GONNA TAKE THIS BULLSHIT LYING DOWN! NOBODY STEALS FROM SOSA HENDERSON! NOBODY! DO YOU HEAR—
(“No Regrets” by Pusha T hits as Hurricane Hawk steps out onto the stage with a microphone)
Hurricane Hawk: I swear to god, it’s a miracle if I can go a week without a new migraine around here. You understand that one way or another, everyone who’s got their spot at Under Siege did so by actually winning a match. If you can’t keep your head on a swivel during a multi man match then that’s your own problem, rookie.
SOSA Henderson: You gonna have way more than a migraine if you came out here to brush me off like that. Just because your ass can’t go anymore doesn’t mean you can disrespect me for daring to be younger than a dinosaur. The game is changing Hawk. And it left you behind. So recognize the talent in front of you before you’re forgotten like the rest of the ancient bozos that run around backstage.
Hurricane Hawk: *angrily* Oh really? You wanna take it there? This is what you want? You want into that New Breed Gauntlet match? Fucking fine. You’re in the Gauntlet match. But next week the entry orders are being drawn. And I’m gonna make damn sure you get entry number one.
SOSA Henderson: Oh so you just wanna fuck with—
(SOSA suddenly starts to grin)
SOSA Henderson: …being drawn? Huh. Ok. You know what… that’s fine. I’m up to the challenge.
Hurricane Hawk: And you now what… Damon is in it too. That way there’s already at least one who’s gonna be gunning for you. And just remember SOSA… actions have consequences.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!!
(SOSA turns around as the crowd starts cheering to see Damon Diesel charging at him)
Eve: BANG BANG! THE BICYCLE KNEE!
Deadprez: NO! SOSA JUST DIPPED UNDER IT AND DUMPED DAMON OUT TO THE FLOOR ON THE OUTSIDE!!!!
SOSA Henderson: Yeah. We’ll see about that.
(Camera fades as Hawk leaves through the curtain and SOSA grins at the camera, very satisfied with himself)
(Commercial for Neeman Marcus, featuring Kassidy Heart and a guy wearing a black morph suit)
(The camera cuts to the ring where Gina Romano is shown desperately trying to hold onto the ropes as some unknown force is trying to take her out of the ring.)
Gina Romano: What the hell is this??? We have a match coming up and it is scheduled for…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
Gina Romano: No! Don’t just stand there repeating what I am about to say someone help me!!!
(“FAT” by Weird Al blasts across the speakers as members of the EAW audience are thrown out of their chairs by some unknown force.)
Gina Romano: Introducing first… from Little Rock, Arkansas weighing in at 450 pounds… “THE ABSOLUTE UNIT” CHUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!
(Gina Romano is pulled out of the ring as Chudd grows closer and chairs from the audience fly across the building smashing into Chudd’s head and knocking him down as he walks towards the ring.)
Deadprez: Hold on Eve! Chudd is making his way down to the ring!!!
Eve: I can’t hold on much longer Dead! His gravitational pull is too strong!!!
(A midget from the audience is shown flying across the arena and smashing into Chudd’s belly and being knocked unconscious. Health officials from backstage immediately rush out and take the man away on a stretcher.)
Deadprez: Damn that’s a shame. Hope he’s okay.
(“Alive in Valencia” by Unknown hits to cheers from the crowd which has now been provided chains to keep them in their seats for the remainder of the match.)
Gina Romano (also chained to the ring): And his opponent from Guadalajara, Mexico weighing in at 213 pounds “El Corazon de la Lucha Libre” ELLLLLLLLLLLL DARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKSTARRRRRRRRR!!!!
(El Darkstar makes his way down to the ring ignoring Chudd’s gravitational pull entirely due to his expert lucha libre balance skills.)
Eve: Damn what a badass. I did not think there was a man out there who could stand up to Chudd like this!
Deadprez: This will truly be a competitive match here tonight as El Darkstar has vowed to represent lucha libre here tonight in Argentina!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Eve: We are underway as Chudd unleashes a powerful sumo stomp in the ring signifying that he is ready for serious competion.
Deadprez: Damn nearly caused another earthquake. Leggo Chudd let’s see what you can do big boi.
Eve: El Darkstar taking off! He charges across the ring running a circle around Chudd before leaping up onto the top ropes! What agility! He flips off the top rope!!! Hurricanrana!!! But he can’t take Chudd off his feet! El Darkstar swings around the Hurricanrana and lands on his feet as Chudd looks confused!
Deadprez: Chudd now licking his lips as he grabs El Darkstar and bites into his mask! Chudd has found his latest meal here tonight!
Eve: I wonder what El Darkstar’s mask tastes like. I’m definitely going to ask Chudd after the match back in the locker room. I will update you all with this information as soon as possible. This is more important knowledge to get out to the world than updating the audience on wrestler injuries.
Deadprez: I agree Eve. However, El Darkstar is now enraged. Chudd has disrespected his máscara! El Darkstar breaks free with his mask only slightly torn by the razor sharp teeth of Chudd! Chudd with a self satisfied smirk on his face as El Darkstar charges in pummeling into the massive gut of Chudd!!!
Eve: My god the jiggle.
Deadprez: The jiggle proves too much for El Darkstar as Chudd’s rolls fire back into his face knocking him back out of the ring! Oh shit no!!!
Eve: Chudd is charging in!! SUICIDE DIVE!!!!
Deadprez: BAH GAWD!! CHUDD WAS UNABLE TO LEAVE HIS FEET AS HE TRIED TO LUNGE THROUGH THE ROPES TO THE OUTSIDE!!! HE LANDED HALFWAY THROUGH ON THE MIDDLE ROPE!!! FUCK THE RING IS BREAKING!!!
Eve: THE RING ROPE SNAPPED OFF THE TURNBUCKLE!!! CHUDD AND THE RING ROPE FALL THROUGH TO THE OUTSIDE LANDING ON TOP OF EL DARKSTAR!!! HE CRUSHED HIM!!!
Deadprez: The absolute unit! We will have to repair the ring after this match but Chudd has just completely destroyed his opponent!
Eve: Yeah but good luck getting back in the ring. Did you see how long it took to get him in the ring the first time? Never again.
Deadprez: Chudd is trying to get back up but he is struggling! Wait what is this?!?!?
Eve: Chudd has just noticed a fan in the audience eating a piece of a pizza!
Deadprez: Holy shit he is back on his feet! I didn’t even see him get up he was so fast!
Eve: Chudd snatches the pizza from the fan! Someone call the cops!!!
Deadprez: Chudd goes for it! He takes a huge bite out of the pizza slice!
Eve: Wait no! El Darkstar from behind he snatches the pizza! He stuffs it into his mouth as quick as he can and swallows it! Damn that looked tasty I’m going to have to get me some of that later.
Deadprez: Damn look at the look on Chudd’s face! He looks like El Darkstar just killed his parents! He is absolutely seething!
Eve: El Darkstar retreats back into the ring over the broken ring ropes as Chudd grabs a steel chair! Calm down buddy! You don’t want to get disqualified do you?
Deadprez: Chudd no longer cares! El Darkstar has gone too far this time! Chudd angrily throws the chair into the ring! But El Darkstar dodges it! Chudd lets out a primal scream of rage as he charges the ring climbing up onto it shaking the entire structure to it’s core!!! But Darkstar takes advantage as Chudd rolls into the ring kicking the big man to try to keep him down! Chudd is hulking up! He won’t be held down by the man! He powers up throwing El Darkstar off him!!!
Eve: WAIT NO! EL DARKSTAR LANDED ON THE TOP ROPE! HOLY SHIT THE FORCE OF CHUDD KNOCKS DARKSTAR TO THE TOP!! DARKSTAR FLYING OFF THE TOP ROPE LANDING ON CHUDD WHO WAS STILL STRUGGLING TO GET UP! HE’S LIKE A TURTLE ON HIS BACK!! THE COVER!!! CHUDD HAS PASSED OUT FROM TRYING TO GET UP IT WAS TOO MUCH HARD WORK FOR HIM!!!
Referee: ONEEEEEE!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOO!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Gina Romano: Here is your winner… ELLLLLLLL DARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKSTAR!!!
(“Alive in Valencia” by Unknown hits as the crowd seems quite pleased.)
Eve: El Darkstar has won the match! He has brought honor to Mexico!
Deadprez: He sure has Eve and I think Chudd might be having another heart attack right now he’s not moving at all. Someone get the doctors back out here!!!
(El Darkstar is shown handing a taco to Chudd who wakes up immediately and eats it. The two then hug it out as friends.)
Eve: Awww I’m happy for them. I can only wish that every match we have here in EAW was as professional and serious as this one.
Deadprez: I could not agree more Eve. This is the EAW content we should all be striving to create for our fans.
(The camera cuts to a commercial featuring Impact describing which phallic objects a real man should never put in his mouth. Some of the items include a baseball bat, an ice cream bar, a lead pipe, and a spiked dildo.)
(Camera opens to a panning shot of the arena as Drake King is standing in the ring, a table sits next to him with a velvety cloth laid over it)
Drake King: So here we are. At Under Siege, it’s Drake King versus the King of Elite himself. Or the so called King, that is. I’m well aware of the phony crown Malcolm won. But I’m here to tell you that he’s nothing more than a gals king. He won a crown that no one else on the top brand was allowed to compete for all because he was favored enough to get his way into a fatal four way at Road to Redemption. A show where I was competing for the World Championship and retired the Heart Break Boy! That alone is more than almost anyone in the locker room can say! I showed the world what I’m capable of! I showed everyone that I am the true King in EAW! And you have all just begun to witness my rise to the throne!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Drake King: BOO ALL YOU WANT!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Drake King: IT WONT CHANGE THE TRUTH! And that’s why I’m out here tonight! You see, at King of Elite, Malcolm won his cheap little crown. But at Under Siege, I get to compete for his other crown, the Interwire Championship. He should be made aware when I walk with his title who exactly the true king is. So I’m here to debut a crown of my own.
(Drake removes the velvet cloth from the table to reveal a golden crown, in laid with blue, red, yellow, and purple stones along the top of it and an elegant pattern engraved into the gold around it. Drake takes the crown and places it onto his head)
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Drake King: *smirking* Come on. The crown looks good, right?
Crowd: ITS OK! ITS OK! ITS OK!!!
Drake King: NO NO NO NO NO! DO NOT SAY THAT WORD TO ME! NEVER SAY THAT WORD TO ME AGAIN! I WILL HOP THAT BARRICADE AND BLOODY EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU—
(“Pray for Em” by Meek Mill hits as Malcolm Jones walks out with the King of Elite crown on his head and the Interwire Championship on his shoulder with a microphone in hand. He has a brace on his knee still)
Eve: The Interwire Champion is obviously not a fan of what he’s hearing from Drake King right now!
Drake King: NO! THIS IS NOT YOUR TIME! THIS IS MY TIME!
Malcolm Jones: Whoa whoa whoa! I know you ain’t come out here shittin about you being the King when I won the name. You just claiming it.
Drake King: I AM DRAKE KING! BEING KING IS MY BIRTHRIGHT!
Malcolm Jones: Well you can be my court jester then because you ain’t gettin my throne and you can take whatever pawn shop you got that crown from to court because that shit is ugly as hell.
Drake King: So you say. But you didn’t win that crown properly. Everyone else in the match had to face off with their entire brand to get there. You didn’t do that. You won your way in, but by beating people from other shows. You faced no one from Showdown for that right, screwing the entire roster out of the opportunity!
Malcolm Jones: And Who was gonna beat me in a tournament? You? Bitch, get out my face with that. And for the record, I did face someone. I beat Terry and his team of clogged arteries to earn my way in to the Road To Redemption Qualifier. But that would be too convenient for you to remember, wouldn’t it?
Drake King: You beat Terry? Lovely. Who else? No one else? Didn’t think so. And yeah, it’s gonna be me that beats you at Under Siege so it might as well have been me to beat you for King of Elite.
Malcolm Jones: *laughing* You got jokes. That’s funny. But I’m gonna take my crown, I’m gonna beat your ass at Under Siege, then I’m gonna move on to main event Pain for Pride two years in a row. And you can find your ass in the 24/7 where you belong.
Drake King: You’re gonna main event Pain for Pride?
Malcolm Jones: As double champion. Damn right.
Drake King: Well then how about we raise the stakes a little bit. Under Siege is the last Showdown event before the Grand Rampage. So let’s put our chips on the table, Malcolm. Winner not only walks with the Interwire Championship… but the loser forfeits the right to compete in this year’s Grand Rampage!
(Crowd buzzes at the proposition)
Malcolm Jones: *thinking* Hmm. A chance to put you in your place and force you to sit on the sideline where you belong and you not have a damn thing to say about it!
(MJ nods his head)
Malcolm Jones: YOU’RE ON!
Drake King: *grinning* You just made the biggest mistake.
Malcolm Jones: Yeah? We gonna see about that I guess.
(“Pray for Em” picks back up as Malcolm makes his way back through the curtain. The camera fades as Drake King has a malicious grin on his face, his new crown gleaming in the lights)
Eve: Wow! Big stakes happening at Under Siege! Whoever leaves without the Interwire Championship will not be allowed to compete in the 2019 Grand Rampage!
Deadprez: Both men must be very confident to make this kind of bet. It’s gonna be crazy to see how this plays out!
(Commercial for Elite Coffee, coming soon if these other places don’t get it together)
(The camera opens to Gina Romano in the ring)
Gina Romano: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest number one contenders match for the EAW CHAMPIONSHIP…set for ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!
(“Can’t Be Touched” by Roy Jones Jr. plays as Terry Chambers comes out to a mixed reaction)
Gina Romano: Introducing first, from Detroit, Michigan weighing in at 287 pounds…THE BARBARIC CARNIVORE, TERRY CHAMBERSSSS!!!!!
Deadprez: This man scares me, say if I was in the ring with him I’d run before the bell rings, and that’s my advice to the three other competitors in the ring, YOU PEOPLE SHOULD BE SCARED, or at least writing your will
Eve: Calm your balls Dead, maybe you’re just frightened by Terry Chambers but the other competitors see him as a roadblock, they need to get pass him for the EAW Championship, they’ll do anything and Terry Chambers will not kill them god.
Deadprez: You just wait till he gets into the ring with you, YOU’LL SEE-
Eve: Shut up will you
(Terry Chambers enters the ring as “Can’t Be Touched” dies down as “Odee” by A Boogie A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie replaces it and Chris Elite and Big Mike come out to a standing ovation)
Gina Romano: Introducing next, from Brooklyn, NY…weighing in at 210 pounds…CHRIS ELITEEE!!!!!
Deadprez: Chris Elite made his intentions known last Showdown, he was placed into this match for a reason he wants to get his hands on Ahren Fournier after that loss at King of Elite a few weeks ago.
Eve: I don’t think Elite will come out of that ring until he gets his hand raised in victory but one can only wonder if that happens tonight or not,
(Chris Elite excuses Big Mike as he gets to the ring as “Revolution” by The Beatles play and Jack Haze comes from the backstage area)
Gina Romano: And, residing in Santa Monica, California, weighing in at 211 pounds…JACK HAZEEEE!!!!
Deadprez: Jack Haze has had a rough couple of weeks, losing to The Revolution in a terrible way and being betrayed by his partner after his match.
Eve: Yeah but Jack Haze has a match that could lead to him fighting for the EAW Championship tonight, surely that can’t dampen his mood-
Deadprez: If he wins Eve, he has a ¼ chance in this match, I don’t expect him to come out on top.
(“Revolution” is quickly replaced by “Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac as TLA comes out to the roar of the crowd)
Gina Romano: Lastly, residing in The Poon Palace, weighing in at 210 pounds.. LA PANTERA SEXUAL, T…L…A!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: Saving the best for last, TLA is my type of guy, he’s had a lot of talk going into this match, just think of how much he can brag getting a one way ticket to the EAW Championship.
Eve: Indeed, a lot is on the line and TLA will not let anyone block him on his run to success but who knows, there’s been a lot of shocks in EAW.
Deadprez: Yeah like you coming to the announce table, slowly Showdown becomes the worst time of the week sitting next to you.
Eve: Ok then…
(TLA hops into the ring as everyone starts trash talking and the ref rings the bell)
(DING DING DING!)
Deadprez: This match begins as… TLA, Terry, and Chris roll out of the ring leaving Jack Haze surrounded.
Jack Haze (Off-Mic): ALRIGHT THEN, COME ON LET’S GO!
Eve: Haze biting off more than he can chew as Terry Chambers rolls into the ring and starts attacking Jack Haze, Chris Elite joining in as he shoves Haze aside and goes after Terry Chambers. TLA standing outside confused by the situation, But Jack Haze stumbles over to attack TLA. Jack Haze quickly attacking TLA as in the ring Chris Elite is landing punch after punch on a weakened Terry Chambers in the corner, Terry Chambers shoves Elite away, A CLOTHESLINE KNOCKING CHRIS OFF HIS FEET AS JACK HAZE RUNS INTO THE RING ONTO THE TOP ROPE AIMING FOR A FALLEN TLA. Terry Chambers takes quick notice AS HE GRABS HAZE AND PUSHES HIM OUT OF THE RING, MURDER! JACK HAZE FALLS GRACEFULLY TO THE FLOOR.
Deadprez: “Gracefully” the fuck. TLA crawling to his feet noticing Jack Haze falling down, TLA is just as confused now as he was before, but he rolls into the ring and walks over to Chris Elite. Elite tries to exit the ring but TLA grabs him quickly as he lifts him up HURRICANRAN-NO ELITE IS HOLDING ON AS HE PULLS TLA HIGH IN THE AIR, BUT HAZE RUNS INTO THEM AS CHAMBERS THROWS HIM. HAZE GRABS THE ROPES AS CHAMBERS RUNS AFTER HIM, HAZE THROWS CHAMBERS OUT OF THE RING BUT TERRY IS HOLDING ON BY A THREAD. BUT HAZE WITH A ENZIGURI KNOCKING CHAMBERS OFF THE ROPES. JACK HAZE RUNS TOWARDS THE ROPES FOR A SUICIDE DIVE, HE CO-NO CHRIS ELITE RUNS FORWARD AND HITS HAZE MID AIR WITH A HIGH KICK! Elite runs into the ring and pulls Haze to the center for the cover.
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-
Eve: The count is broken by TLA as he gets to his feet. TLA pushes Haze aside as he grabs Chris Elite, stunned by the pin-break. TLA WITH CARTEL K- NO CHRIS TURNS AROUND AND GRABS TLA BY THE LEGS. CHRIS BRINGS HIM UP BUT JACK HAZE PUSHES THEM AWAY AS HE STOMPS AWAY AT BOTH OF THEM. Terry Chambers playing it smart looking on as Jack Haze gains the upper hand, Haze yet again going to the top rope as he scans the area. HE JUMPS- MUSHROOM STOMP TO CHRIS ELITE AS HAZE RUNS TO THE PIN BUT NO TERRY CHAMBERS PULLS HAZE OUT OF THE RING AND TAKES THE COVER!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TW-
Deadprez: CHRIS ELITE KICKS OUT AS TERRY CHAMBERS IS SHOCKED
Terry Chambers (Off-Mic): IS HE REALLY THAT WEAK, OH CMON!
Eve: TLA gets to his feet and immediately is locking eyes with Terry Chambers, TLA QUICKLY GRABBING TERRY’S ARM- CROSS ARMBREAKER, THE HOLD IS LOCKED IN AS THE REF IS CHECKING ON TERRY CHAMBERS STRUGGLING TO REACH THE ROPES- CHRIS ELITE! CHRIS ELITE JUMPING OFF THE TOP ROPE LANDING RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF CHAMBERS AND TLA WITH A FROG SPLASH AS TLA AND TERRY CLUTCH THEIR ARMS IN PAIN, BRILLIANT MOVE FROM THE SELF PROCLAIMED ELITIST OF THE YEAR. CHRIS ELITE GOES FOR THE PIN ON TLA!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!
Deadprez: TLA KICKS OUT BUT CHRIS ELITE WASTE NO TIME THROWING CHAMBERS TO THE GROUND AND GOING FOR THE PIN
Ref: ON-
Eve: TERRY KICKS OUT QUICKLY AND SHOVES ELITE AWAY BUT BEFORE HE CAN DO ANYTHING- Jack Haze is back in the mix, as spins…PINEAPPLE PUNCH TO CHRIS ELITE, ELITE IS DOWN AS CHAMBERS RUNS TOWARDS HAZE CLOTHESLINE KNOCKS HAZE DOWN. Chambers looks down on them…TLA JUMPS ON CHAMBERS, TLA HOLDING ON TO CHAMBERS BY THE NECK AS HE’S DANGLING OFF THE GROUND HAZE BRINGING HIMSELF TO HIS FEET AS HE STARTS KICKING TERRY’S LEGS, GREAT DOUBLE TEAM AS TERRY FALLS TO HIS KNEES HAZE SEES A OPENING AS HE SPRINGS HIMSELF OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE BUT CHRIS ELITE JUMPS IN BETWEEN HAZE AND HIS TARGET- BOX OFFICE SMASH A SUPERKICK TO HAZE AS HE FALLS DOWN, BUT TERRY IS FADING AWAY, TLA IS STILL WRAPPED AROUND HIS NECK CHRIS ELITE STOMPS DOWN LOOSENING TLA FROM CHAMBERS-Elite going to the top rope steadying himself, BIONIC STOMP THE MOONSAULT FOOT STOMP CONNECTS WITH TLA AS ELITE COLLAPSES ONTO TERRY CHAMBERS. EVERY MAN IS DOWN AS THE CROWD CHEERS WITH EXCITEMENT. Elite places a hand on TLA signaling for a pin, it’s definitely over.
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THRE-
Deadprez: NO IT IS NOT JACK HAZE, WITH HIS LAST BIT OF ENERGY PULLS CHRIS ELITE AWAY FROM TLA! ELITE TRYING TO KICK AWAY HAZE BUT HE ISN’T LETTING GO. Chris gets to his feet Haze steadying himself onto his knees, TERRY-TERRY STOMPING ON HAZE THAT’S GOTTA HURT, HAZE LANDS ON THE GROUND WITH A PLOP, I THINK I SEE A FOOTPRINT. Chris Elite and Terry Chambers trading punches but TLA joining in, he…turns to the camera? Shrugs, CARTEL KICK TLA KNOCKS TERRY OVER ELITE. TLA sitting down on the mound of bodies, the ref counting it for a pin.
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!! TW-
Eve: JACK HAZE PUSHING TLA OFF ELITE AND CHAMBERS, WHEN WILL THIS CARNAGE END! Haze pulls Chris Elite off Terry Chambers…he’s going up to the top rope looking for the Up In Smoke- TLA joining Haze up on the top rope. CHRIS ELITE DRAGS HIMSELF UP MANAGING TO HOLD ON TO TLA’S LEG. HAZE IS SLOWLY MANAGING TO PUSH TLA OFF THE TOP ROPE. TLA finally jumps off the top rope but that doesn’t stop Jack Haze…MISSILE DROPKICK KNOCKING DOWN TLA. CHRIS ELITE SHOVES HAZE TO THE CORNER, TLA COMING BACK ATTACKING CHRIS ELITE FROM BEHIND. Jack Haze shoving pass as he sees Terry Chambers getting back up to his feet, Haze attempts to kick him in the face but Chambers blocks it leveling Haze down. CHRIS ELITE GETTING THROWN ONTO HAZE BY TLA AS HE QUICKLY GOES AFTER TERRY CHAMBERS BUT TERRY LIFTING HIM UP FOR A- SPINEBUSTER, TLA GRIPPING HIS BACK ON THE FLOOR AS TERRY GOES FOR THE PIN
Ref: ON-
Deadprez: Chris Elite quickly managing to break the pin attempt as him and Jack Haze are trading blows, BUT HAZE QUICKLY GOES DOWN AS TERRY LOCKS IN LOCKED IN THE CHAMBERS, THE COQUINA CLUTCH IS LOCKED IN AS CHRIS ELITE FOCUSES ON TLA. Elite bringing TLA back up to his feet but TLA GRABBING BY THE NECK AND THROWING ELITE OUT OF THE RING-NO ELITE IS STILL HOLDING ON, BUT TLA SWIFTLY PUSHES HIM, TLA RUNNING THE ROPES, SUICID- NO ELITE WITH THE G.O.T.D. THE JUMPING BICYCLE KNEE KICK AS BOTH MEN STUMBLE TO THE FLOOR. In the ring Haze and Terry are still giving it their all as Haze is trying to take the bigger man Terry Chambers down but both are resisting as they resort to trading blows, Jack Haze with an irish whip to Terry Chambers, LARIAT, NO CHAMBERS IS STILL UP AS HAZE QUICKLY MOVES BACK IN SHOCK CHAMBERS RETALIATES WITH HIS OWN LARIAT SPINNING JACK HAZE 180 DEGREES IN THE AIR, HE’S OUT COLD. TERRY GOES FOR THE PIN AGAIN.
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO-
Eve: Jack Haze kicks out as Terry Chambers is in shock. He quickly rolls out of the ring putting his attention on the fallen Chris Elite and TLA as both men are slowly getting up Terry Chambers trying to keep them down, Chris Elite crawls away from Terry Chambers as TLA is being stomped down on. LOOK JACK HAZE SLOWLY CLIMBING TO THE TOP ROPE, CHRIS ELITE REALIZES THAT AS HE COMES AFTER JACK HAZE BUT HAZE WITH A DROPKICK KNOCKING DOWN CHRIS ELITE HE HAD A CHANCE TO GAIN THE UPPER-HAND IN THIS MATCH BUT SOLELY FOCUSED HIMSELF ON ONE OPPONENT. TLA and Terry Chambers on the outside here as TLA has got Chambers backed up in the corner keeping him there with kicks to the gut, Chris Elite rolling out of the ring Jack Haze following behind CHRIS ELITE GRABBING HAZE AND THROWING HIM INTO THE BARRICADE. Elite isn’t focused on Haze tho as he’s making his way to TLA and Chambers, Elite with a high kick to TLA but Chambers quickly grabs Chris LIFTS HIM OFF THE GROUND. SIT OUT POWERBOMB, CHRIS ELITE’S HEAD BOUNCED OFF THE PADDING AS CHAMBERS THROWS HIM INSIdE THE RING, I THINK CHAMBERS IS GOING FOR THE COVER AGAIN, BUT TLA IS HOLDING ON TO HIM SLAMMING HIM BACK TO THE BARRICADE. TLA ROLLS INTO THE RING AND GOES FOR THE PIN.
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THR-
Deadprez: JACK HAZE BREAKING UP THE PIN ATTEMPT AS TLA GRABS HAZE AND THROWS HIM OUT OF THE RING AND GOES FOR ELITE AGAIN AS TLA SHOVES HIM TO THE ROPES AND ATTACKS ELITE WITH RAPID STRIKES TO THE BODY AREA. TLA can’t keep up that pace much longer slowing down looking visibly tired, but that’s giving Chris Elite the opportunity to stun him with an elbow to the face. Elite throws TLA into the ropes and slowly drags him to the corner, BUT TERRY CHAMBERS PUSHES ELITE INTO TLA AS HE MOVES BACK AND RUNS TOWARDS THEM, SPLASH TO THE CORNER KNOCKING DOWN BOTH ELITE AND TLA. NO! JACK HAZE KEEPS THEM UP WITH A DROPKICK TO CHAMBERS HURTING ALL 3 PEOPLE IN THE CORNER. Haze with a determined look on his face scales the top rope yet again in this match…UP IN SMOKE- NO TLA MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AS JACK HAZE’S ELBOW HITS HARD ON THE MAT TLA BRINGS HIM UP I THINK LOOKING FOR HIS PATENTED MEXICAN DESTROYER BUT HAZE DUCKS UNDER COUNTERING IT WITH A KICK TO THE BACK OF THE LEG BRINGING HIM DOWN TO ONE KNEE…PINEAPPLE PUNCH, THE DISCUS PUNCH! HAZE GOES FOR THE PIN!
Ref: ON-
Eve: Chris Elite breaking up the count as he slowly waits for Jack Haze to get to his senses… WHO SHOT Y- NO JACK HAZE ROLLS UNDER THE PENALTY KICK AND ROLLS CHRIS ELITE UP FOR THE PIN
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-
Deadprez: Elite stumbles out of that one sliding out of the ring. BUT JACK HAZE ISN’T DONE AS HE RUNS TOWARDS THE ROPES, SUICIDE DIVE TO CHRIS ELITE TERRY CHAMBERS LOOKING TO FOLLOW PURSUIT WITH ONE OF HIS OWN SUICIDE DIVES BUT JACK HAZE WITH A HIGH KICK AS TERRY CHAMBERS FALLS TO THE GROUND. TLA is the only one left in the ring as he brings himself up using the ropes. He’s looking to get out of the ring, but he sits down watching the action on the outside, smart move. Jack Haze has been one step ahead against these opponents so far and this makes me question if he actually is worthy enough for the EAW Championship.
Eve: Well of course Dead that’s why he’s in this match. Haze dragging both Chambers and Elite back into the ring but TLA isn’t letting them back in, grabbing the ropes and kicking. Haze let’s go of both men and PULLS TLA OUTSIDE WITH THEM. Haze not looking for any remorse as he moves away from the opposition going to the top rope. All 3 men get up and don’t realize that Jack Haze LEAPS OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH A SPLASH BRINGING DOWN ALL OF THEM ON THE OUTSIDE. Jack Haze brings each individual into the ring as he rolls in himself. Haze takes a hold of Terry Chambers as he throws him out of the ring again, taking the big man out of the equation. Jack Haze beckoning either of the men left in the ring to get him waiting in the corner. BUT CHRIS ELITE GRABBING HAZE BY THE LEGS PULLING HIM DOWN AS HE ROLLS UP TO HIS FEET CHRIS ELITE WITH A KICK TO HAZE LEANING ON THE BOTTOM TURNBUCKLE. TLA is not standing idle yet as he grabs Chris Elite by the shoulder and yanks him towards the middle of the ring, but Chris Elite with back forearms as he tries to get rid of TLA from the equation. BUT TLA WITH A BACKSTABBER AS BOTH MEN FALL TO THE GROUND. Terry Chambers getting into the ring slowly still stunned by Jack Haze’s assault previously. But TLA yet again trying to push Terry Chambers out of the ring, But Terry Chambers pushes TLA away as he gets into the ring. TLA QUICKLY GRABBING THE ARMS OF THE BARBARIC CARNIVORE PULLING HIM OVER TO THE CENTER OF THE RING, HE TRANSITIONS INTO THE CROSS ARMBREAKER. CROSSED PATHS IS LOCKED IN AS TERRY DOESN’T KNOW THAT TO DO…Jack Haze breaking the cross armbreaker up with a hard stomp to TLA as he goes over to Terry who’s rolled over to the apron and kicks him out yet again.
Eve: Jack Haze doesn’t want Terry Chambers involved in the match, he’s the strongest so he’s the most likely to win, get rid of him and it’s a straight line to the finish line from there. Anyways, Haze isn’t focusing on the opponents in the ring as Chris Elite with a roundhouse kick to the back of Haze’s head knocking him down, BUT TLA WITH A REVERSE HURRICANRANA TO CHRIS ELITE, ELITE IS STILL KNEELING BUT THAT LEAVES THE OPPORTUNITY FOR TLA TO HIT THE SWAG SHOT, THE PIMP SLAP CONNECTS WITH THE FACE OF ELITE AS TLA PUSHES HIM DOWN FOR THE COVER
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THRE-
Deadprez: Chris Elite kicking out as TLA is angered. TERRY CHAMBERS THO, GRABBING TLA BY THE NECK AND PULLING HIM OUT OF THE RING WITH HIM LIFTING HIM UP INTO A FIREMAN’S CARRY…T-5 THE T-5 CONNECTS AS TLA IS UNRESPONSIVE AT RINGSIDE. Terry Chambers rolls back into the ring as he’s greeted by Jack Haze who yet again is trying to get him out of this match but Terry Chambers isn’t falling for it this time as he lifts Haze up for a Samoan Drop. Terry Chambers getting the crowd into a cheer but CHRIS ELITE BACK IN THE MATCH ATTACKS TERRY AS TERRY GETS LAID DOWN BY A GERMAN SUPLEX! CHRIS ELITE CLIMBING THE TOP ROPE BUT TLA IS BACK IN THE MATCH, OH MY! HE PUSHES CHRIS ELITE OFF THE TOP ROPE ONTO THE MAT BUT TLA REPLACING HIM ON THE TOP ROPE AS HE JUMPS- DOUBLE FOOT STOMP TO CHRIS ELITE BUT JACK HAZE ALSO BACK IN THE MATCH WASTING NO TIME PULLING TLA AWAY FROM CHRIS ELITE BEFORE HE CAN GO FOR THE PIN. TLA PUSHES HAZE AWAY BUT HAZE WITH A HEADBUTT AS TLA FALLS TO THE GROUND AND HAZE FALLS TO ONE KNEE CLUTCHING HIS HEAD.
Eve: that was risky by Jack Haze as he’s stunned, Chris Elite getting up seeing a chance to win as he grabs Jack Haze and lifts him up into the fireman’s carry, drops him BUT JACK HAZE DODGES THE ROUNDHOUSE KICK THAT WAS COMING HIS WAY AND PUSHES CHRIS ELITE’S LEG MAKING HIM STUMBLE TO THE GROUND. TLA COMING TOWARDS HAZE BUT JACK HAZE GRABS HIM QUICKLY AND LIFTS HIM UP- ACID DROP THE LEAPING OLYMPIC SLAM CONNECTS AS JACK HAZE GOES FOR THE COVER WILL THIS BE IT?!!?!?!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREE-
Deadprez: WHAT, HOLY SHIT CODY MARSHALL PULLS JACK HAZE OUT OF THE RING, WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE. HE KNOCKS JACK HAZE OFF HIS FEET WITH A CLOTHESLINE. THIS IS UNCALLED FOR! But still, no disqualifications in fatal four ways! Cody Marshall walking up to the steel steps grabbing it and placing it down next to the fallen Jack Haze. I think he’s looking for something brutal, something to keep Jack Haze out of this match so he doesn’t get a title opportunity like he did. Meanwhile in the ring all men have gotten to their feet taken aback by the appearance of Cody Marshall taking out the underdog in the match up. Marshall grabbing Haze by the throat holy shit I think he’s looking for Rapture onto the steel steps this’ll certainly injure Jack Haze. BUT CHRIS ELITE DROP KICKING THE BACK OF TERRY CHAMBERS FORCING HIM OUT OF THE RING LANDING ON MARSHALL AND HAZE. THE FIGHTING HAS STARTED AS TLA ATTACKS CHRIS ELITE AND CODY MARSHALL STARES DOWN TERRY CHAMBERS FURIOUSLY CODY MARSHALL GRABS TERRY AND HULLS HIM ONTO HIS SHOULDERS OH NO A POWERSLAM INTO THE BARRICADE BREAKING IT, THE FANS CHEERS GROW LOUDER AS CODY MARSHALL IS DECIMATING EVERYONE IN THE MATCH. Cody Marshall rolls Terry back into the ring focusing his attention back on Haze, but he stops.
Cody Marshall (Off-Mic): Man fuck this I’m gonna go have a beer this match is full of shit.
Eve: Cody Marshall has bailed on attacking Jack Haze? BUT IN THE RING CHRIS ELITE AND TLA NOW TRADING KICKS AS EACH MAN HAS GIVEN LIFE AND LIMB TO KILL EACH OTHER, CHRIS ELITE IRISH WHIPS TLA INTO THE ROPES CLOTHESLI- NO DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE KNOCKING OUT BOTH OF THEM IN THE PROCESS. JACK HAZE LOOKS ON AS HE IS TRYING TO COMPREHEND WHAT JUST HAPPENED. JACK LOOK IN THE RING, EVERY MAN IS DOWN.
Deadprez: It seems Jack listened to your advice Eve. Haze quickly rolls into the ring and pulls Terry Chambers up to his feet HE’S GOING FOR THE BIG ONE- INTERSTELLAR OVERDRIVE, IT’S OVER ITS OVER JACK HAZE HOOKS TERRY CHAMBERS BY THE LEGS FOR THE PIN AS THE CROWD CHEERS ON IN SUPPORT
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(DING DING DING!)
(“Revolution” plays again as Jack Haze is on the ground in absolute shock)
Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN YOUR WINNER! JACK HAZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Cody Marshall turns around to see Jack celebrating and realizes he just handed him the win when he wanted to take Jack out of the match. Cody is beside himself)
Eve: Each man in this match did everything in their power to win. But in the end it was Jack Haze who had the drive and determination to carry on.
Deadprez: Set back after setback Jack Haze hasn’t gotten what he wanted in the past but even with the distraction of Cody Marshall he pulled through and now has a golden ticket to Under Siege where he now is fighting for the EAW Championship!
(TLA and Chris Elite are both arguing with each other now, shoving back and forth)
Eve: The Boyhood Dream is coming true! Tough luck for the other competitors in the match tho-
Deadprez: Stop feeling so sad for them, they didn’t make it so what, what matters is that we have a winner and the winner is Jack Haze. Congratulations.
Eve: Congratulations, indeed. And that’s all we have time for! Tune in next week for our final stop on the road to Under Siege! For Deadprez, I’m Eve! And we’ll see you next week!
(EAW Network logo buzzes)
