(EAW Intro Plays)
(Camera opens to backstage where Drake King is seen walking into the arena with his suitcase in tow, mumbling to himself)
Drake: I’m ok… I’m ok… I’m ok…
(He strains his face as he pauses outside of a dressing room and puts the heel of his palm to his forehead as he tries to focus)
Drake: I’m ok… I’m not… GAH! I’m ok… I am… I’m ok…
(Drake shakes his head clear and opens the door to the dressing room before taking a seat on the bench inside. Suddenly his eyes go wide and he shoves his head down into his hands)
Drake: I AM! YES I AM! IM… NO! IM NOT OK! I! AM! NOT! O—
(Drake slaps himself hard across the face)
Drake: I— I’m ok… everything’s going to be ok…
(Showdown intro plays for the broadcast before opening to a shot panning over the sold out crowd at the Little Caesar’s Arena in Detroit, Michigan before coming over to the commentary desk with Pierre McGuire and Deadprez)
Pierre: Hello, everyone, and welcome to another exciting edition of EAW’s flagship show, Saturday Night Showdown! We have a loaded card for you tonight coming live from Detroit!
Deadprez: That’s right! Detroit’s own Terry Chambers will take on Drake King and Shane Gates in a last chance qualifier for the Extreme Elimination Chamber! We will see TLA return to in ring action against the newly crowned number one contender to the New Breed Championship, Damon Diesel! And Consuela Rose Ava has made her decision on TLA’s lucrative Poon Palace offer!
Pierre: We will also be hearing an update from Hurricane Hawk regarding the status of EAW Champion, Diamond Cage, and a massive Road to Redemption preview match in our main event as Chris Elite and the Heart Break Boy will team up to take on Ahren Fournier and Cody Marshall! But first, we go to Aaron Fitzpatrick for tonight’s opening contest!
Aaron Fitzpatrick: The following contest is a tag team match scheduled, and it’s scheduled for ONE FALL!!!
(‘Warriors’ by Imagine Dragons starts up on the arenas public announce system as the crowd boos with the appearance on the stage of the Dragon Slayers. Both men wave off the jeers of the crowd while ignoring them thereafter as they make their way down the ramp toward the ring.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Introducing the first team…. standing at a combined weight of four hundred and seven pounds!….THE DRAGON SLAYERS!!!
Pierre: The Dragon Slayers have found themselves in a bit of a funk lately but a win tonight could set them back on the path towards tag team gold!
Deadprez: These two have had highs and lows before. Only a matter of time before they rise back up again!
(‘Welcome Home’ by Coheed & Cambria hits the system as Johnny Walker makes his way out, almost seeming stunned by the giant crowd)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: And introducing their opponents… first, making his way to the ring from Berea, Kentucky… weighing in at 220 pounds… JOHNNY WALKER!!!!
Deadprez: Johnny Walker making his main roster debut here tonight! He looks a little start struck but he’s gonna have to get that out of his head and get in the game!
Pierre: A real test here tonight for Johnny as he will he tagging in his debut against two veteran specialists of the tag team division!
(“Revolution” by the Beatles hits as Jack Haze makes his entrance)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: And his tag team partner… making his way to the ring from Queens, New York by way of Santa Monica, California… weighing in at 211 pounds… JACK HAZE!!!!!!!!!!
Pierre: Not the greatest start to Jack Haze’s main roster career but a great shot to bounce back tonight!
Deadprez: He’s a guy with all the potential in the world. Just waiting for his breakout moment, and we may we’ll see it tonight as he looks to Johnny and says he wants to start the match! Johnny nods back at him.
(DING! DING! DING!)
Pierre: And this match underway! Jack Haze starting out for his side and Sam Steele starting out for the Dragon Slayers! And already a hard forearm to the face back and forth! No tie up, no headlocks! Just slugging it out here in the early going! Jack Haze whips Sam Steele to the ropes and a hard clothesline coming back by Jack Haze but it’s ducked by Steele! Step up enizigiri by Steele, one that’s caught by Jack Haze! Jack Haze with a hip toss plus keylock combination. Sam Steele caught in this submission maneuver!
Deadprez: And Mike Shaw comes in throws a forearm to the head of Jack Haze that connects and Jack releases the hold! The referee gets Shaw out of the ring! Sam Steele and Jack Haze back to their feet with Jack whipping Sam to the ropes and now a backdrop by Jack to Sam Steele who lands hard on the canvas! Jack Haze grabs up Sam Steele and a thumb to the eye by Sam Steele! The referee admonishes that decision by Sam Steele who now goes to work with closed fist punches on Jack!
Pierre: Sam Steele brings Jack Haze to the corner where he tags in his partner Mike Shaw who immediately goes to work with kicks to the midsection of Jack Haze who’s trapped in the corner! High knee by Mike Shaw that makes Jack Haze keel over and down to one knee in pain! Mike Shaw continues the onslaught as he reigns down with clubbing forearms to the back of Haze! Mike Shaw then drapes Jack Haze by his throat on the second rope and begins applying extra pressure on top of Jack Haze which is cutting off his breathing! The referee at a count of four before Shaw lets up!
Deadprez: Mike Shaw tags his partner back in and Sam Steele goes to work on Jack Haze by putting a boot to the throat of Jack in the corner! The referee at four and again has to get in between and Steele gets in the face of the referee! This gives time for Jack Haze to rise up in the corner!
Pierre: Mike Shaw tries to sucker punch Jack Haze from behind and he dropkicks Mike Shaw off the apron! Sam Steele turns around and he too receives the same treatment! Jack Haze somersault rolls past Sam Steele and to his corner where he promptly makes the tag to his partner Johnny Walker who enters and along with Jack Haze delivers a double superkick to Sam Steele! Mike Shaw slides in the ring and eats a double superkick as well! Mike rolls back out of the ring while Johnny picks up Sam Steele and whips him to the ropes and Johnny leap frogs Sam who continues to the other side and coming back he gets a hiptoss from Johnny!
Deadprez: Sam back up now runs in for an attack but takes another hiptoss from Walker! Sam Steele tries to come back again but bites the dust again! This time Johnny takes down the oncoming Sam Steele with an enizigiri! Beautifully executed! Sam Steele goes down as he stumbles over to his corner where he finally tags his partner!
Pierre: Mike Shaw coming in now and both he and Johnny Walker now circling each other before finally tying up where Johnny gets the headlock takedown of Mike! Mike Shaw struggling against the strength of Johnny at this moment who is wrenching at the neck of Mike! Mike Shaw though reverses it and puts Johnny Walker on his back with his shoulders touching the mat. The referee drops down to make the count but Johnny counters right away by releasing Mike Shaw! Mike Shaw goes for a clothesline of Johnny Walker but Johnny with a perfectly telegraphed arm drag takedown right into an arm lock! Johnny wrestling a perfect match so far DP! Mike Shaw grimaces a bit as Johnny Walker is applying more pressure! Now Johnny Walker transitions into a facelock seizing the early momentum for his side in this matchup! Now back on the arm again is Johnny Walker and Mike Shaw was not prepared for this! The Dragon Slayers were not prepared enough for this it would seem! Clubbing blows to the forearm by Johnny Walker to Mike Shaw now! And now Johnny lets go of the this attack and hurries back to his feet as Mike Shaw struggles back to his feet! Mike looks on in complete frustration as Johnny Walker claps and nods his head with a smile on his face knowing how much of an advantage he’s had in this match so far!
Deadprez: Shaw tags out to Sam Steele and Johnny shrugs and tags out as well to his partner Jack Haze! You can just tell, Pierre, that neither side wants to let the other get out with the momentum going forward! Jack and Johnny new to the Showdown brand having plenty to prove while the Dragon Slayers are the longer tenured and want to prove why they stand as one of the premiere contenders in the tag team division of EAW! And both Jack Haze and Sam Steele tie up and once and it’s Haze with a shoulder thrust! And another! Jack Haze whips Steele to the corner! Snap suplex by Haze out of the corner and over and down goes Sam Steele! Haze picks up Sam Steele again but a headbutt to Haze is enough to ruin his concentration as he staggers back! Clubbing forearms to the back of Jack Haze who tries to absorb these hard shots by Sam Steele! Knife edged chop by Sam Steele!
Pierre: Steele whips Haze who reversed and sends Steele to them instead where a blind tag is made from behind by how own partner Mike Shaw! Now Shaw runs at Jack Have as Sam Steele is coming back too! Haze drops down though and avoids both men and as soon as he’s back up Jack Haze takes advantage of the situation by first stopping Shaw in his tracks with a closed fist right to the face of Shaw before quickly turning to Steele and repeating the same process! Jack Haze now grabs the heads of both Dragon Slayers and makes them collide! Haze scowls at the Dragon Slayers as he tags Johnny Walker back in and then clothesline to Mike Shaw sends him from the ring! Super kick sends Sam Steele back bouncing off the ropes right into the waiting hands of Jack Haze! BLUE DREAM TO STEELE! The Fireman’s Carry knee neckbreaker!
Deadprez: This could be it! Walker is the legal man! BLACK LABEL BY JOHNNY WALKER TO SAM STEELE! THE FIRE THUNDER DRIVER! JOHNNY MAKES THE COVER! WHAT AN UPSET THIS COULD BE!!?? Mike Shaw trying climb in but Jack Haze is having none of it as he spears Shaw through the ropes sending them both outside!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(‘Welcome Home’ by Coheed & Cambria as Johnny Walker rises back to his feet and allows the referee to raise his hand awarding his side the victory as Jack Haze arrives back in the ring to celebrate with his partner.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Here are your winners by pinfall…..JACK HAZE AND JOHNNY WALKER!!!
Deadprez: What an upset! Statement made by the two newest additions to the Showdown roster! The Dragon Slayers normally are able to rise to the occasion in these types of matches, but Tonight it was clear one side was well prepared and the other not as much!
Pierre: Indeed DP! The match started a bit slow but eventually it did pick up and all it took was one sequence in the end to change everything, and the fate of the Dragon Slayers was sealed! Good win for Johnny Walker and Jack Haze! Congratulations guys!
(Shot shows Johnny Walker and Jack Haze still enjoying their victory on the outside at the ramp as Mike Shaw has now crawled into the ring to check on his partner whose rising up to a sitting position holding his head. They both look on at Johnny Walker and Jack Haze holding their arms up and clenching their fists in victory)
(Commercial for jelly: not as good as peanut butter)
(Camera opens to see Hurricane Hawk standing in the ring with a microphone)
Hawk: First off, let me personally thank each and every fan for coming out tonight to the Little Caesar’s Arena and bringing in another packed house for Showdown! Give yourselves a hand!
Hawk: And I also want to send a quick congratulations out to the newest members of the roster, Jack Haze and Johnny Walker, who just moments ago got their first main roster victory! What a showing!
Hawk: And I can personally promise that myself and the rest of Showdown’s management will be watching Wildcard very carefully this week to scout for the next major talents to join our roster. We want to make sure that Showdown always ends up with the very best talents available!
(The crowd buzzes with a sense of excitement)
Hawk: Now I must unfortunately give some bad news. When we first announced about six months ago that we would be live from Detroit tonight and tickets went on sale, one of the names advertised was, of course, Diamond Cage.
Crowd: WE WANT CAGE! WE WANT CAGE!
Hawk: But… unfortunately… due to his recent actions, pmost notably attacking four other roster members and a number of our security force with a pipe last week and sending the main event into chaos, I have been forced to suspend Diamond Cage for the week.
(Hawk raises his hand up to the crowd)
Hawk: I understand your disappointment that he won’t be here live tonight. But with his recent actions compiled on other incidents, I didn’t really have an option. But this is still Saturday Night Showdown! The top brand in all of EAW! And I will assure you that Diamond Cage will be back on your televisions no later than next week as all members of Showdown’s Extreme Elimination Chamber will be here to iron out the final details of the match before we finally get things going at Road to Redemption!
(Hawk exits the ring and walks over to Aaron Fitzpatrick)
Hawk: Thank you everyone for your time! Now let’s get back to the action!
(Hawk hands the microphone to Aaron and goes to walk back up the ramp as Aaron climbs back into the ring)
(The camera pans into the arena as You Only Live Once” by Suicide Silence blasts the speakers and Damon Diesel emerges from behind the curtain and walks confidently to the ring)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: THIS BOUT IS SET FOR ONE FALL!! INTRODUCING FIRST…FROM ORLANDO, FLORIDA….WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND FIVE POUNDS…HE IS THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE NEW BREED CHAMPIONSHIP…..THE WRESTLING MACHINE…..DDDAAMMOOONNN DDIIIEESSELLLL!!!!
Deadprez: This man has a smile on his face and feeling confident and he should be. He won a ladder match last week against old NEO Syndicate member Shane Gates and is going to challenge for the New Breed Championship. Let’s see if he cna keep the momentum rolling tonight!
(Damon enters the ring and poses on the top rope before his music cuts off and ‘Ambitionz az a Ridah’ by Tupac blares and TLA walks out to a ovation)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: AND HIS OPPONENT….FROM TLAXCALA, MEXICO…WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND TEN POUNDS…… HE IS THE REIGNING OPENWEIGHT CHAMPION…..LA PANTERA SEXUAL….T…..L…..A!!!!!
Pierre: And here comes the Openweight Champion. He also is looking for momentum heading into his title defense against Consuela Rose Ava. One who he had some…well…interesting comments about her last week…including a odd invitation.
Deadprez: What are you talking about?
(TLA walks slowly to the ring with the Openweight Championship around his waist pointing both fingers at it before walking up the steps in the ring and handing the title to the referee and begins warming up in his corner)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Pierre: And we are underway in this one. I think this is a great matchup for both men. AND WOAH DAMON LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL!! Damon charges at TLA and Damon drives TLA to the corner and now hitting shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust. I guess TLA wasn’t expecting this much fire right out of the gate.
Deadprez: And now Damon…GOOD GOD! A uppercut to the chin of TLA and you could see TLA’s spit in the air. Damon now takes TLA out of the corner and has him in the suplex position…Damon has TLA in the air…but TLA with a knee to Damon’s head in the air and now Damon drops TLA and TLA runs to the ropes and Damon attempts a clothesline but TLA ducks under and bounces off the opposite ropes and connects with a dropkick that sends Damon out of the ring! TLA is fired up!! TLA now runs to the ropes and charges and…SUICIDE DIVE TO THE OUTSIDE TO DAMON DIESEL!!! TLA IS FEELING FIRED UP AGAIN!!
Pierre: TLA picks ups Damon and slides him back in the ring while taking his time but Damon is up rather quickly and as TLA is getting in the ring Damon hits the DDT!!! Damon now picks TLA back up trying not to lose the momentum and places TLA on his shoulders….DAMON CONNECTS WITH A RUNNING SAMOAN DROP!! THE COVER!!
Deadprez: TLA gets the shoulder up but it looks like Damon was expecting it as he is unphased! He grabs TLA by the head and plants fist after fist into his skull! Now Damon stands and delivers an elbow drop! Keeping the pressure on the Openweight Champion! He stomps into TLA’s chest and steps back, breathing almost through his teeth! The adrenaline is rushing through Damon Diesel as he rushes to the corner and awaits for TLA to rise to one knee….HE HITS TLA WITH A HARD KNEE TO THE FACE!!! THE COVER AGAIN!!
Deadprez: TLA gets the shoulder up again! Damon once again up with a sense of urgency and lifts TLA up and he runs to the ropes and hits a woozy TLA with a high knee and TLA still on his feet….Damon now hits a flying neckbreaker and TLA landed a bit awkwardly. Damon with the knee and neckbreaker combo. IS THIS ENOUGH?!
Pierre: NO!! Now Damon looks a bit frustrated. He has hit TLA with 3 powerful manuevers but still isn’t enough. Damon now rises to his feet and slowly lifts TLA’s almost lifeless body off the mat and WOAH TLA just wakes up and delivers a HARD RIGHT HAND!! AND THEN HE TURNS AROUND…..CARTEL KICK!! THE COVER NOW!!
Pierre: DAMON KICKS OUT OF IT!! TLA now slides to the ropes near him and pulls himself up and he is targeting Damon who is pulling himself up with the ropes in the corner on the opposite side of the ring…TLA CHARGES FOR A SPLASH IN THE CORNER!!!! BUT NOBODY HOME!!!!! DAMON SIDESTEPS IT AND HITS A KICK TO THE MIDSECTION OF TLA AND HAS BOTH OF HIS ARMS HOOKED!!! PAIN MACHINERY!! BUT TLA FIGHTS IT AND TWIRLS OUT OF IT AND HITS THW SWAG SHOT!!! DAMON DOESN’T KNOW WHAT JUST HIT HIM!!! TLA NOW PLACES DAMON BETWEEN HIS LEGS….MEXICAN DESTROYER CONNECTS!!! PERFECTION!! IS THIS IT!?!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(‘Ambitionz az a Ridah’ by Tupac hits as TLA rolls away from Damon and lying himself against the bottom rope as he is handed the Openweight Championship and has his hand raised on the ground)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…..T…..L…..A!!!
Pierre: What a match between both of these men and TLA was the better man tonight! TLA picks up some much needed momentum heading into Road to Redemption.
Deadprez: Yeah Consuela you see that?! You better be ready girl. My man TLA gonna whip your ass before he signs that first Poon Palace paycheck!
Pierre: Well Consuela is actually going to be here shortly to respond to TLA’s business proposition! We’ll be right back with Consuela Rose Ava!
(Commercial for Battleground: Wildcard)
(“Fire” by BTS plays through the speakers as the crowd gives a mixed reaction to Consuela Rose Ava. Consuela stands on top of the ramp, looking at the sea of Showdown fans before making her way down the ramp.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Ladies and gentleman, please give a warm welcome to COOOOONSUUUEEEEELLLLLAAAAAAA ROOOOOSSSSE AAAAAVVVVAAAAAA!!
Pierre McGuire: Consuela Rose Ava is the Empire Representative for the Openweight Championship Match at Road to Redemption! She is a woman, who has been through a runt in 2018. She began the year as Specialists Champion, but six days into 2018, she lost the Specialists Championship at King of Elite! Ever since, things have not looked good for Consuela! Consuela has been on a losing streak when it comes to the opportunities she has been given!
Deadprez: There are people out there who don’t believe that Consuela Rose Ava is worthy of this opportunity! To those, they wonder what made her so worthy of this opportunity? I’m on the same boat, Pierre. I think the opportunity should have went to a woman who is has really been on a role, but I’m quite confused over why Consuela was selected over any woman on Empire?
Pierre McGuire: Consuela has never failed to show that she is an amazing wrestler. Despite the results, this woman has gone out there and risen to the challenge. I feel like Consuela has been given the opportunities she has been given because they know that she is capable of being a champion. She is capable of conquering the odds. She is the only two-time Specialists Champion on Empire. She dethroned the six month Specialists Championship reign of the late and great Brody Sparks. She reminds me a bit of the Openweight Champion, TLA. TLA nearly busted his ass to get himself championships. He had to scratch and claw to reach the main event scene on Voltage. He hasn’t had much success on capturing a World Championship. However, if he manages to defeat Consuela at Road to Redemption, he will be on a good path to gain his first World Championship!
Deadprez: And, the luck of the Openweight Championship has not gone well lately. Lars Grier lost the Openweight Championship on his first defense. Kevin Hunter lost in his first defense as well. Will TLA be another victim of that?
Pierre McGuire: Who knows? But, there is no doubt that Consuela Rose Ava is going to give this the fight of her life!
(“Fire” begins to fade as the camera shows Consuela Rose Ava in the middle of the ring. Consuela takes a moment to hear the reaction of the crowd before talking.)
Consuela: 2018 hasn’t been so kind to me. I began the year on top of the world as a two-time Specialists Champion. I expected to go into King of Elite and retain my championship. That didn’t happen. However, I decided not to let the loss phase me. Instead, I decided to use it as some sort of fire to get my rematch and win my title back at the Iconic Cup. Once again, that didn’t happen. I decided not to let that phase me as well, but I used it as motivation to become Women’s World Champion. Some people said that I would be the one to dethrone Aria Jaxon, but things didn’t go according to plan. I looked at Grand Rampage as the moment where I was going to be Women’s Champion, but Stephanie Matsuda got in the way and got the title that should have belonged to me. Right there, I still had hope that I was going to carry championship gold again. I thought me and Andrea Valentine would become the first ever Empire Tag Team Champions. Just like those other times, that didn’t happen. Then Pain for Pride came and I thought I had a shot of bringing that Cash in the Vault to Empire, but Noah Reigner ended up becoming the winner. I felt like Pain for Pride was the moment where I realized that I was going downhill with my career. I had a lack of motivation and I was beginning to lose hope. When Empress of Elite was around the corner, I thought this was going to be my moment. After redeeming myself and getting a victory over Chelsea Crowe, I thought I had a good shot of winning, but Tyler Wolfe ruined all of that. It was at that point where I began to become depressed.
(Consuela takes a deep breath and looks out to the crowd before continuing)
I was putting in the work. I was giving it everything I had, but wasn’t getting the results I want. I was losing match after match after match. It began to get annoying to see women just waltz into the company and get the opportunities I deserve. I was getting less camera time. My credibility was all gone and none of the women on Empire took me seriously enough. At that point, I was willing to do anything to get the results I want. If that meant stooping down to people’s levels, I was going to do that. Guess what? It got me the results. It got me a Specialists Championship Match at Bloodletter. That title should be mine, but that’s alright. A blessing came to me when it was announced that I would be the Empire Representative for the Openweight Championship Match. With that opportunity, I know I can’t let it pass me by.
(The crowd murmurs with anticipation)
Consuela: As I was watching Showdown last week, TLA gave me an interesting opportunity. He wants me to be a Poon Palace girl. He wants me to go back to my maid days and be someone that keeps that STD infested castle clean… among other things. To TLA, I knew that was going to be what he was going to target me towards. People have looked at the maid shtick as something that helped propel my career to the next level or in TLA’s case, a joke. With bringing my original job occupation to EAW, I knew I was going to get the jokes. I knew, I was going to be the butt of the jokes, but I grew to be fine with it and I embraced it. I am happy to say that this “maid” is a two-time Specialists Champion!
(The crowd begins to applaud Consuela Rose Ava before she continues to talk.)
Consuela: However, in Season 12, I grew out of that. I know, TLA is having a hard time adjusting to that because Consuela Rose Ava is not that nice and fun-loving maid that people knew and loved. I have been through tons of heartbreak this season. I been through some tough losses, but I’m not like those that quit because of it. I stayed. I fought and kept going. I find it hilarious that TLA is underestimating me. It’s hilarious since he spent the majority of Season 11 having the rest of the men in the back underestimate him and label him as a joke. Now, he’s trying to do the same to me? I respect the heart of TLA. I was always rooting for him to become a World Champion, but I see him making the mistakes that costed him the Openweight Champion at Pain for Pride earlier this year. I swear, didn’t he offer Andrea Valentine to be a Poon Palace girl? And, what happened? Andrea became Openweight Champion. He offered me the same thing and it looks like it’s going to cost him the Openweight Championship again. I’m here to warn TLA that those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it again. TLA, I know you’re in the back. At Road to Redemption, I am going to kick your ass!
(Consuela Rose Ava drops the microphone as “Fire” plays once again. Consuela has a look of determination in her eyes and it’s obvious, that she is ready for a fight.)
Pierre McGuire: Consuela Rose Ava with a strong message to TLA! She is not playing around when it comes to this match! TLA should take Consuela’s message under consideration if he wants to make it out of this first title defense alive!
Deadprez: But she still didn’t say yes or no! Is she gonna be a poon or not? I gotta know!
(Commercial for Big Mike’s love potion. Guaranteed to win the Heart you want)
(The camera cuts to Aaron Fitzpatrick in the ring.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: The following contest is a Triple Threat Match and it is to qualify for the Extreme Elimination Chamber Match!!!
(“Revolution” by Pennywise hits as Drake King comes out to cheers and “OK” chants from the crowd.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Introducing first from Brooklyn, New York weighing in at 220 pounds he is “THE OK” DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAKE KING!!!
(Drake King comes out to the ring as he celebrates with the fans who love him!!!)
Deadprez: Damn this man and his OK movement are truly taking the EAW Universe by storm! Dem merch sales tho!
Pierre: Eeew it is so lame and corny. I can’t stand people having fun n shit!
(“Can’t Be Touched” by Roy Jones Jr. hits to boos from the crowd.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: From Detroit, Michigan weighing in at 287 pounds “THE BARBARIC CARNIVORE” TERRRRRRRRRRRRRRY CHAMBERS!!!
(Terry Chambers comes out looking all business and ready to fight.)
Deadprez: I feel like now would be a good time to remind our viewers that this is the LAST CHANCE for all of these men to qualify for this Extreme Elimination Chamber Match!
Pierre: Indeed. Unfortunately all three of them have lost qualifying matches in the past but tonight they are being given a final shot at redemption.
(“All Out Life” by Slipknot hits!!!)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Introducing last from Huntington Beach, California weighing in at 210 pounds… “THE NATURAL BORN KILLER” SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE GAAAAAAAAAAATES!!!
(Shane Gates comes running down to the ring looking eager to get the match started.)
Deadprez: I think that having not won their first qualifiers is just going to make all of these men even hungrier here tonight!
Pierre: I agree this should be a very competitive matchup.
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: We are underway as immediately both Drake King and Shane Gates turn on Terry Chambers pounding away at the big man! Smart tactic here to take care of The Barbaric Carnivore! But Terry uses raw power to shove both men back! But Drake and Shane work together and bounce back off the ropes sending Terry to the outside! Terry crashes to the outside! Wait look out in the ring! Drake King with a rollup on Shane Gates!!!
Pierre: Kickout by Shane Gates! That was a close call there! The crowd on their feet chanting OK now as their hero Drake King nearly had this thing won! Drake and Shane lock up quickly in the ring… Nope! Shane ducked down beneath grabbing the leg of Drake taking him down off his feet! But Drake immediately gets back up looking just a little embarrassed. This time they lock up and Drake takes Shane down with an arm drag Shane rolls through landing in the corner but he fires back out taking down Drake with a Shoulder Thrust! Drake back up as Shane tries to punch hard at him but ducks… Shane wildly falls back on the ropes as Drake clotheslines him over the top! Shane lands on his feet on the outside as Drake leaps over the top rope with a Crossbody to the outside!
Deadprez: BUT WAIT! TERRY CHAMBERS OUTTA NOWHERE! TERRY WITH A LARIAT TAKING DRAKE KING’S HEAD OFF! TERRY LIFTS DRAKE UP OVER HIS HEAD AND SLAMS HIM FACE FIRST DOWN HARD ON THE RING STEPS! NOW TERRY SLAMMING DRAKE’S HEAD REPEATEDLY INTO THE STEEL STEPS! HE’S BASHIN’ HIS FUCKING HEAD IN HOLY SHIT!!!
Crowd: Not OK! Not OK! Not OK!
Pierre: Terry casually tossed Drake King’s body away as he grabs Shane Gates and tosses him into the ring. But Shane Gates now fighting back as he tries to punch Terry but I think he only made him angry! Terry grabs the head of Shane Gates and swiftly drops him with a devastating DDT! Terry Chambers lets out a war cry as he stomps angrily into Shane Gates destroying him into the mat. Shane desperately tries to struggle to his feet but Terry quickly drops him with a Neckbreaker! And then Terry drops the elbow for good measure! And another! And another! Terry Chambers rolling now as he catches his breath and Shane Gates is shown grimacing in pain on the mat. Gates flips himself over looking to pull himself back up but Terry notices. Terry with a hard forearm to the back of Shane’s neck!
Deadprez: Terry now driving his elbow hard into the back of Shane’s skull absolutely crushing him! Terry grabs the neck of Shane wrenching it into a Sleeper Hold! Shane desperately trying to stay awake here as he fights his way back up to his feet… But Terry simply releases and then takes Shane down with a thunderous neckbreaker! Now Terry grabbing the chin of Shane as he sits down on his back and wrenches upwards! He is going to rip his jaw straight out of his head! Shane can’t even scream out in pain as Terry has taken full control of his jaw. Shane struggling back up to his feet as he throws hard elbows into the gut of Terry forcing the break! But Terry elbows him hard on the back of the head and grabs his arm… Olympic Slam connects! The cover!!!
Pierre: But Drake King lunges back into the ring to break the cover! Terry Chambers immediately gets back up as Drake sends him back against the ropes with a Dropkick! But Terry doesn’t fall and instead bounces back against the ropes and batters Drake hard in the head with a vicious forearm! Drake falls down but Terry grabs him by the neck and yanks him up to his feet in the corner! Terry with hard back chops to the chest of Drake King before he grabs him by the hair! Terry whips Drake hard at the ropes sending him over the top! Drake tumbles down hitting his head on the apron and falling to the floor!
Deadprez: Terry Chambers taking out the trash!
Pierre: Now Terry returning his attention to Shane Gates who has crawled into a corner. Terry charges in with a Running Boot to the Face! Terry drags Shane back out into the ring as he screams at the crowd that he is enjoying this! What a sadistic human being! Terry pulls Shane back up to his feet as he grabs him by the neck… Chokeslam connects! Shane Gates looks done for as Terry goes for the pin!
Deadprez: But Terry Chambers lifts up Shane’s shoulder! Terry not finished just yet! Terry is playing with his opponent! Scary Terry drives his knee into the back of Shane’s head! He could give him brain damage with that! Terry now signalling for the end as he lifts Shane’s limp body up over his shoulders! Could it be?!?!? It is!!!
Pierre: TERRY CHAMBERS WITH THE T-5! THIS THING IS OVER!!! TERRY JUST TAKES A SEAT ON THE CHEST OF SHANE GATES AS HE KNOWS HE HAS THIS THING WON EASILY!!!
Deadprez: WAIT WHAT THE HELL?!?!?
Pierre: Drake King just Superkicked the hell out of Terry Chambers!!! Terry rolls to the outside of the ring holding his jaw in pain as he rests on the barricade. Turn around Terry!
Deadprez: As Terry has his back turned holding his jaw Drake King has slid into the pin on Shane Gates!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Here is your winner… DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAKE KING!!!
(“Revolution” by Pennywise hits as the crowd erupts into “OK” chants. The referee tries to raise Drake King’s hand but he blows him off and begins to jump for joy!)
Deadprez: What a big win for Drake King who has just qualified for the Extreme Elimination Chamber!!!
Pierre: Terry literally did all the work tho… Drake just slid in at the last minute and took all the credit. I guess this win was just OK. Not that impressive but still a win is a win.
(Drake King is shown running around the ring leaping in the air and celebrating with fans as he continues to chant OK!!)
Deadprez: This crowd really loves Drake King! He will always be OK to them!
(Drake King continues to take victory laps around ringside as the crowd begins to die down and stop chanting OK leaving Drake the only one still doing it.)
Pierre: Alright this is getting a little excessive. I’m happy for the guy but let’s not act like this is the greatest moment in EAW history… We have to get on with the show so let’s take a commercial break…
(The camera cuts to a commercial for the EAW Christmas special which will feature a special musical performance by APOCALYPSE and Soothsayer Hamasa!!!)
(Camera opens to the empty ring as “Pray For Em” by Meek Mill hits and Malcolm Jones comes out with the Interwire Championship over his shoulder and a microphone in his hand. Malcolm makes his way down to the ring and climbs in as the music fades)
MJ: Well, well, well… another week goes by and Hurricane Hawk still has nothing for me! I’m the Interwire Champion! I am the single most valuable talent on this roster and still there’s not even a fucking match for me? Last week it was all about “oh you gotta prove yourself! You gotta defend the title you have!”
(Malcolm shakes his head)
MJ: BULLSHIT! If that was the case I’d be booked in a match this week and not still sitting on my ass while one of the biggest shows of the calendar is coming up! The Interwire Champion is gonna be left off the Road to Redemption card just because Hawk wants to see me fail!
(The crowd begins to murmur at the accusation)
MJ: Yeah! Y’all heard me right! Hurricane Hawk wants Malcolm Jones to fail! And why? Because he’s now an embedded member of the very company that despised my success! I was a big fish in a small pond back in NEO! I was buried down there where I wasn’t allowed to grow. That’s when I decided to take my career into my own hands. So I took my ass to REVOLT! where I could be challenged and given the competition to elevate my game and shine like I knew I could! And what do you fucking know? EAW buys out REVOLT! and I’m main eventing PFP within months because of how far I had come and I couldn’t be denied! But now I finally got some singles gold and I’m barely booked! I took this title off HBB. I beat Impact at Wicked Games. I’ve proven I’m one of the best here, but when I request a shot to elevate myself I get roadblocked! And why is that?
(Crowd continues to murmur as Malcolm speaks)
MJ: Because they know what I am! They know I have the greatest potential here because I have proven that to be true! The rose can grow from concrete but for it to happen the seed has to grow! So Hawk and the board want to stunt my growth as a performer to keep me from surpassing every oldhead talent they cling to and guard so they don’t lost their damn security blanket!
???: Okay! Alright! That’s enough of this!
(Camera pans to show Hurricane Hawk on the stage with a microphone)
MJ: You come out here to admit to the truth, Hawk?
(Hawk shakes his head)
Hawk: Malcolm, come on. The only thing I wanted you to do was live up to your responsibilities to the title you have and have yet to defend!
MJ: Then why am I not booked? Why do I not have a match?
Hawk: Well I was trying to set something up for RTR but fine. You wanna be impatient? Then you’re gonna be defending the title next week, right here on Showdown! I actually just finished meeting with your opponent a few minutes ago and I was gonna announce the RTR match tonight but hey, you were already here and you’re being an ass so we might as well just do it this way. But I did actually get an interesting email earlier today. One that I think fits everything you’ve been looking for. You want a major opportunity, Malcolm? Then whoever wins your match next week will get the opportunity I was offered.
(The crowd begins to buzz as Malcolm nods his head in the ring)
MJ: Aight then. One defense. That’s all it takes? I can do that. Who’s my—
(Terry Chambers suddenly slides into the ring and applied The Coquina Clutch around Malcolm’s throat)
Hawk: TERRY! TERRY! STOP THIS NOW! LET HIM GO!
(Terry squeezes the hold on tighter and Malcolm begins to fade)
Hawk: TERRY! LET HIM GO OR YOU LOSE YOUR TITLE SHOT! LET GO NOW!
(Terry releases the hold and Malcolm drops to the mat coughing and grabbing his throat. Terry looks down at him with a twisted smile before grabbing the microphone)
Terry: Don’t worry, Hawk, I’ll save him actually going unconscious for when I win the gold.
(Terry kneels down next to Malcolm as he still coughs and tries to get the blood back to his brain)
Terry: And, Malcolm, I want you to remember how that feels before I take your title next week. I wanted to do it at Road to Redemption, but next week works just fine.
(Terry grabs the Interwire Title off the canvas and holds it up for the camera with a confident grin before laying it on Malcolm’s body and exiting the ring)
(FINAL BREAK: Commercial for Hamasa’s Custom Masks, featuring Donovan Cross)
(Camera opens to Aaron Fitzpatrick standing in the ring)
Fitzpatrick: The following contest is our main event of the evening and it is a tag team match scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
(“God’s Gonna Cut You Down” by Johnny Cash just as Cody Marshall makes his entrance)
Fitzpatrick: Introducing first, making his way to the ring from Dallas, Texas, weighing in at 305 pounds… COOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDYYYYY MMMMAAAAAAARRRRRRRSSSHHHHHAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!
Deadprez: Cody is a dead to rights monster when he wants to be. And after last week, you gotta know he’s looking to cause some damage. Cage kicked him where the sun don’t shine and bashed his face with that crow bar. He’s ready to make some people hurt.
Pierre: Well between tonight and the Extreme Elimination Chamber, he’s going to have plenty of chances to cause some pain. But the ultimate goal will be finally capturing the EAW Championship.
(“Starboy” by The Weeknd hits as Ahren Fournier makes his entrance with Kassidy Heart alongside him)
Fitzpatrick: And his tag team partner, making his way to the ring accompanied by Kassidy Heart, from Pawtucket, Rhode Island, weighing in at 210 pounds… AAAAAAAHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRREEEEEENNNNNNNNN FFFFFFFOOOOOUUURRRRRNNNNNNNIIIIEEEERRRRR
Pierre: Here are two people who have had their battles recently with the EAW Champion. Ahren and Cage have gone back and forth with how they’ve messed with each other including Kassidy distracting Cage so Ahren could assault him with a chair.
Deadprez: And that led to Cage assaulting Ahren last week before lashing out and assaulting everyone with that crowbar! I’ll be surprised if Ahren and Kassidy aren’t still feeling some effects from that.
(“Odee” by A Boogie hits as Chris Elite makes his entrance with Big Mike alongside him who is wearing a “I Heart Kassidy” shirt and has a rose in his hand)
Fitzpatrick: And their opponents, Introducing first, making his way to the ring accompanied by Big Mike, from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 210 pounds… CCCCCCCCHHHHHRRRRRRIIIIIISSSSSSSS EEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTEEEEE!!!
Deadprez: And here’s the man who I think may very well take it all home at Road to Redemption. Chris Elite has been the show stealer around here since the day he joined Showdown!
Pierre: Undoubtedly. He’s one of the best we have and— what the hell is this?
(As Chris enters the ring, Big Mike walks up to Kassidy Heart and offers her the rose)
Big Mike (off-mic): Even a perfect rose can only be a fraction of how beautiful you are.
(Kassidy simply rolls her eyes and walks away without taking the rose. Big Mike looks dejected. He begins flexing his pecs to cheer himself up)
Deadprez: Oof. Big Mike shootin that shot but he was just rejected.
(“Ice Tray” by Quavo hits as Heart Break Boy makes his entrance)
Fitzpatrick: And his tag team partner, making his way to the ring from Ferguson, Missouri, weighing in at 220 pounds…. THEEEEEE HEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT BBBBBBBBRRRRRRREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAKK BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYY
Pierre: The Hall of Famer looking to gain some momentum going into Road to Redemption! It almost seems like he’s been firing even harder on all cylinders since he lost the Interwire Title to Malcolm Jones and that’s why he’s my personal pick to win the Chamber!
Deadprez: Way to be an unbiased journalist.
Pierre: But you just said—
Deadprez: BUT you’re absolutely right and you can’t keep a guy like HBB down for long! He’s a born fighter and won’t be held back from what he wants! This is the same man who went into Pain for Pride with a torn bicep and still left with a championship! And it looks like we get a bit of a rematch as we’re gonna start off with Ahren Fournier and HBB in the ring! Ref calls for the bell!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Pierre: Both men watch each other before making the first move. The crowd is brimming with excitement over this match and they are going wild! Every member of the Extreme Elimination Chamber short of Drake King, who was only added earlier tonight, and the EAW Champion, Diamond Cage, who is barred from the building for the night! The winners of this match could very well walk with the momentum they need in order to become the EAW Champion! Now Ahren and HBB are circling around each other and looking for the opening they want! HBB LUNGES! He gets the lockup and now both men pushing against each other but HBB already got Ahren off balance and slips over into a side headlock! Now HBB with the snapmare takedown and he has the headlock applied to Ahren from the mat!
Deadprez: HBB knocks a few punches into Ahren’s skull but Ahren slides around and slips the headlock! He tries to slip around and— GOING FOR THE LULLABY! THE SAME MOVE THAT NEARLY RENDERED HBB UNCONSCIOUS LAST WEEK! But HBB turns around and counters the chicken wing before it can be locked in! HBB throws a back elbow that catches Ahren across the jaw and shoves himself away! HBB steps back as Ahren climbs to his feet… GOLDPRINT!
Pierre: AHREN DUCKED THE KICK! He grabs HBB from behind and runs him forward! They collide with the turnbuckle and Ahren rolls him up from behind with a schoolboy!
HBB kicks out! He rolls over to the ropes and gets to his feet slowly, BUT AHREN FOLLOWS WITH A RUNNING KNEE! He drives the knee into HBB in the corner and now unloading a number of blows into the hall of famer as he continues to soften him up! The referee looks like he’s going to count!
ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE!
Ahren backs away with his hands raised so not to get disqualified! HBB tried to gather himself in the corner now as both he and Ahren are watching each other and looking for the next move! These two have gotten very familiar since Pain for Pride so you have to expect that they need to come up with something new to put the other away! But look at Ahren! He’s looking fired up! He looks like head gonna charge!
Deadprez: AHREN RUSHES STRAIGHT AT HBB! Wait…
Pierre: Ahren just turned on a dime and is now tagging in Cody Marshall.
Deadprez: That happened.
Pierre: Hey, I guess it’s keeping everyone on their feet. Cody steps over the top rope and into the ring as HBB stands to his feet. Ahren slides out to the ring apron, with a big grin on his face over having faked everyone out. Cody moves in and grabs HBB by the shoulders to scoop him up immediately for a power slam! Cody stands and begins to drop standing knees into HBB’s sternum! Cody now pulls HBB up by his long hair and picks him up! Gorilla press! BUDWEISER SLAM!!
Deadprez: HBB SLIPPED OFF AND CAUGHT CODY WITH A NECKBREAKER ON THE WAY DOWN! HBB scrambles to the top rope! He takes aim! HEARTBREAK ELBOW! The diving elbow from the top rope connects directly into Cody’s cirrhosis-ridden liver! HBB makes the pin!
CODY JUST PRESSED HBB UP INTO THE AIR FROM THE PIN! HBB crashes down hard and Cody climbs back to his feet! HBB stands and leaps up! Goes for a hurricanrana! BUT CODY CAUGHT HIM! HBB is dangling! But Cody showing his strength! HE DEADLIFTS HBB UP AND DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH AN ELEVATED POWERBOMB! THE WELCOME TO HELL CONNECTS AND HBB TOOK THE FULL IMPACT INTO THE MAT!
Pierre: Monstrous power from Cody Marshall and HBB is motionless! Cody grabs him by the leg and drags his dead weight to the center of the ring! He grabs HBB by the head and places his hands on either side of it! Cody squeezes and HBB screams in pain! His skull could be crushed under the pressure Cody is putting on his head! HBB is kicking and flailing to find his way out but Cody keeps the pressure on! Cody is standing over HBB with the vice grip applied as HBB struggles! HBB now trying to make it to his feet as he fights through the pain! Up to one foot! Now he stands! He drives some back elbows into Cody’s gut but Cody doesn’t release the hold on his skull!
Deadprez: He could already be having microfractures from that pressure! That’s a lot of pain to— HBB GIVES HIM ANOTHER ELBOW AND SLIDES BACK UNDERNEATH CODY! He managed to finally escape his clutches and now Cody tries to catch him but HBB leaps! TAG MADE TO CHRIS ELITE! Chris lines up and springboards into a dropkick straight to Cody’s face! Here’s another set who’s gotten quite familiar with each other lately! Chris Elite keeps the pace quick now as he bounces off the ropes and comes in with a running dropkick to Cody’s knee!
Pierre: The big man is down on a knee and Chris keeps it up by following with a swift round house to Cody’s temple! The big man drops and Chris makes the cover!
AHREN RAN IN AND BROKE THE PINFALL! Now he’s backing himself back out to the apron as both he and Kassidy are yelling at Cody!
Ahren and Kassidy (in unison): YOU BETTER NOT FUCK THIS UP YOU NON-GOAT!!!
Pierre: Cody sits up and he just spits in Kassidy’s direction! BUT CHRIS ELITE DROPS BACK IN WITH A FOREARM FROM BEHIND! Now just clubbing away at Cody’s skull as Cody is still rising to his feet! Chris looking to keep the high pace going as he now bounces off the ropes— INTO A MASSIVE BIG BOOT FROM CODY! Chris Elite is down and Big Mike in the outside trying to urge him back up but Cody already has a grip on him! Cody pulls him up and delivers a— OH! That powerslam looked like it may have moved the ring! Cody making a big showing with his strength and size tonight!
Deadprez: But now Cody has a twisted grin as he looks to inflict more punishment on Chris Elite! Cody grabs Chris up and pulls him to his knees! He places Chris’s head between his legs… he lifts him up into powerbomb position! Chris Elite realizes where he is now! And he begins to fire away with punch after punch as he tried to escape! Cody stumbles but he doesn’t drop him! CODY LIFTS HIM BY THE TIGHTS! WELCOME TO HELL! ELEVATED POWERBOMB JUST LIKE EARLIER AND CHRIS ISNT MOVING! Cody goes for the pinfall this time!!!
ONEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOO! THR—
But now HBB breaks the count by stomping into the back of Cody’s head! Cody stands and looks pissed as he grabs HBB by the head and flings him through the ropes! Cody turns and backs into his own corner as Chris is only now beginning to stand! Cody looks like a bull about to be released from the pen! You can practically see the steam from his nostrils! Cody about to charge!
Pierre: BUT AHREN REACHES OVER AND TAGS HIMSELF IN! Cody is livid!
Cody Marshall: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?
Ahren Fournier: WINNING THE MATCH!
Pierre: Ahren moves into the ring but Cody is beyond angry that his chance to put Elite always was just stolen! CODY GRABS AHREN AROUND BY THE SHOULDER! BITH HANDS ON HIS NECK! RAPTURE!!!!!!! TWO HANDED CHOKESLAM SMASHES AHREN INTO THE MAT BY HIS OWN PARTNER! Ahren’s body just bounces off the canvas and now Kassidy is up on the apron!
Kassidy Heart: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!? YOU CANT LAY YOUR HANDS ON HIM LIKE THAT! THAT IS THE FUTURE EAW CHAMPION—
Pierre: CODY WITH HIS HANDS AROUND KASSIDY’S THROAT! He picks her up off the apron and snarls at her! He throws her backwards to the floor— BUT BIG MIKE CATCHES HER! He stands her on her feet and hugs his arms around her to keep himself between her and Cody!
Big Mike: DONT WORRY, BABY! I’LL KEEP YOU SAFE!
Kassidy Heart: LET GO OF ME! RAPE! RAPE!
Deadprez: YOU GOTTA LOVE IT!!! CHRIS ELITE JUST FLEW FROM THE TOP ROPE WITH THE 630 SENTON AND CONNECTED WITH AHREN! THE REFEREE MAKES THE COUNT!
ONEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Fitzpatrick: Here are your winners by pinfall… HEART BREAK BOY AND CHRIS ELITE!!!!!!!
(HBB and Chris slide out of the ring and make their wait up the ramp celebrating. Big Mike releases Kassidy and gives her a gentle, loving smile. She immediately smacks the taste out of his mouth and slides in to check on Ahren)
Pierre: Cody just cost his team the match but I don’t think he gives a damn!
(Cody grins as he looks at Kassidy checking Ahren’s prone body and laughs as he exits the ring)
Deadprez: Anyone of these men would be capable of taking each other out and winning the chamber! Everyone is on the hunt for the top prize and— WHOA!
(Chris Elite turns around and HBB hits him with the Goldprint before walking up the ramp and through the curtain)
Pierre: There will be no teams and no alliances in the Extreme Elimination Chamber! Everyone of these men wants to be the EAW Champion! Nothing will stop them from taking what they want! We still have one step left before Road to Redemption! Join us next week on Saturday Night Showdown!
(EAW Network Logo Buzzes)