(EAW Intro Plays)
(Camera opens to see Hurricane Hawk walking through the parking lot of the Bell MTS Place wearing a winter coat over his normal clothes and talking on a cell phone)
Hawk: No I don’t know who the Showdown rep is gonna be in the fatal 4 way.
(Hawk listens to the reply on the phone)
Hawk: Well it was just announced last week I’ve barely had time to look through the roster and select—
(A black car comes inches from running Hawk over in the middle of the parking lot as Hawk jumps back and throws his hands on the hood)
Hawk: WHAT THE FU—
(Diamond Cage steps out of the car and walks up, nose to nose with Hurricane Hawk, breathing heavily and angrily)
Hawk: Cage. Nice to see you again.
(Cage burns a hole through Hawk with his eyes)
Cage: I played ball last week… suspend me again motherfucker. I ain’t gonna be so compliant…
Hawk: I mean goddamn man you nearly ran me over with—
Cage: Like I said. Suspend me again. I won’t hit the brakes next time.
(Cage walks away and Hawk watches as he goes, stunned to silence)
(Showdown intro plays for the broadcast and opens to show the packed crowd in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Various signs are seen including “OK4Lyfe” “Magnum Woatus” and “Blaze with Haze” before the camera pans to the commentary desk to see Deadprez and Pierre McGuire)
Pierre: HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER EXCITING EDITION OF SATURDAY NIGHT SHOWDOWN!!! THIS IS OUR LAST STOP BEFORE ROAD TO REDEMPTION AND TENSIONS ARE RUNNING HIGH!!!
Deadprez: We got us a monster of a show tonight, folks! Multiple debuts from Battleground including the Revolution stepping up to take on the Dragon Slayers! Plus TLA says he has a final proposition for Consuela Rose Ava regarding her position at the Poon Palace before their Openweight Championship match next week!
Pierre: And in our main event, Malcolm Jones will put the Interwire Championship on the line as he takes on the man who left him laying last week, Terry Chambers. And according to Hurricane Hawk, the winner will not only get the Interwire Championship, but an unprecedented opportunity at Road to Redemption!
Deadprez: We have all of this and so much more here tonight but for now we’re gonna throw things to Aaron Fitzpatrick in the ring for our first contest of the night!
(“Running up that hill” by Jorn hits as Daniel Caine emerges from behind the curtain and makes his way to the ring)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SET FOR ONE FALL!!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!
Aaron Fitzpatrick: INTRODUCING FIRST…FROM WHITEWATER, INDIANA…WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS…DAAANNNIIEELLL CCAAIIINNEEE!!!!
(Daniel Caine slides in the ring as his theme fades and “Mein Hertz Brennt” by Rammenstein blares the speakers and Xavier Arnold makes his way to the ring)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: AND HIS OPPONENT….FROM COLOGNE, GERMANY…WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND FIRTY POUNDS…MAKING HIS RETURN TO SHOWDOWN….THE KAISER…XXXAAVVIIEERRRR AARRNNOLLDDD!!!
(Xavier steps into the ring and begins warming up in his corner)
DING! DING! DING!
Pierre: And this one is underway. This should be a good one as both men are looking to make a huge first impact here on Showdown. Both men lock up in the center of the ring here and Daniel seems to have the power advantage and powers and drives Xavier to the corner and the ref forces him to release the top of Xavier’s head and Daniel with a kick to the midsection and now throws a hard right to Xavier and Xavier staggers a bit in the corner. Daniel now throwing repetitive elbows and the referee forces him to back up at the count of 4.
Deadprez: Daniel runs to the opposite corner and looks for a splash in the corner…BUT NOBODY HOME!! XAVIER ROLLS UP DANIEL!!
Deadprez: Daniel kicks out of it and both men are up quite quickly but Daniel was a tad bit quicker and attempts a clothesline but Xavier ducks under and connects with a swinging neckbreaker!! Xavier knows that won’t be it as he lifts Daniel off the mat and places him on his shoulders…what is he planning here?! But look Daniel is trying to fight it as he is throwing his elbow hard into the face of Xavier and Xavier finally lets go and Daniel drops to the backside of Xavier and a vicious chop block to the back of Xavier’s leg!!
Pierre: Daniel runs to the rope and connects with a HARD KNEE to the face of Xavier as he is on one knee! But Xavier has a a great sense of where he is as he rolls out of the ring. Daniel is taking his time here giving Xavier valuable time to recuperate here. Daniel finally leaves the ring and stalks Xavier who is stirring to his feet.
Deadprez: BUT OH NO!! Xavier might have been playing possum there as he drop toe holds Daniel’s face into the steel steps! Mu god Daniel might have lost a tooth there! Xavier now seems to smell blood and don’t want to waste the opportunity he has here when Daniel is vulnerable…Xavier grabs Daniel’s head and runs and tosses him back first into the barricade!!
Pierre: Xavier quickly now picks up Daniel and places him in the ring and Xavier now climbs up the apron and OH DANIEL WITH A HARD KICK TO THE FACE AS XAVIER WAS ENTERING!! DANIEL NOW AGAIN RUNS TO THE ROPES AND HITS A DROPKICK RIGHT TO THE FACE OF XAVIER DANGLING FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE SECOND ROPE!! THE COVER!!
Pierre: XAVIER POWERS OUT OF IT SOMEHOW!! Daniel not wasting any time as he rises to his feet and is waiting for Xavier to rise to his feet measuring him….AWAKENING DDT!! BUT XAVIER TWIRLS OUT OF IT AND CONNECTS WITH A BACK SUPLEX AND PIN COMBO!!!
Deadprez: BUT DANIEL ESCAPES IT!!! HE SLIDES OVER AND HOOKS THE LEGS INTO A SIDE PIN OF HIS OWN!!!!
ARNOLD KICKS OUT! Arnold tried to get up but Daniel bounces off the ropes… comes back… FREEDOM! THE RUNNING KNEE CONNECTS! FALLS DOWN INTO THE PIN!
DING! DING! DING!
(Daniel rolls out of the ring quickly as Xavier can’t believe what happened and Daniel Caine’s theme hits and the referee on the outside raises his hand)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: HERE IS YOUR WINNER….DANNIEELLL CCAAIINNEE!!!!
Deadprez: Daniel snuck a win here tonight on Xavier. Taking nothing from Xavier though as that was still quite a impressive performance but Daniel seemed to outsmart him for a split second there and the the victory.
Pierre: I see both of these men in the long term vision for Showdown in the future.
(Commercial for Generation Geriatric Medical Supplies by Charlie Marr)
(Camera opens to Johnny Walker sitting on a bench outside Jarfly Brewing in Somerset, Kentucky. A dull roar of the filled to capacity crowd can be heard through the open windows above Johnny as he leans forward, elbows on his knees, and gives the camera a grin.)
Johnny Walker: I told you guys Jack and I would beat the Dragon Slayers, didn’t I? The ‘Gentleman Bastard’ may be a lot of things, but a liar is usually not one of them! Now I know a lot of you probably didn’t have a chance to catch me on Battleground, and hey I’ll not hold that against you, but I can tell you that you’ve missed out. It’s alright, though, because a whole lot more Johnny walker is coming your way! See…
(Johnny is interrupted as Harlow Reichert walks out of the front door with two bottles. One in her left arm, and other caught in the crook caused by the sling around her right arm. She gives Johnny a warm smile as she sits next to him and hands him the bottle in her hand.).
Harlow Reichert: Here ya are, John, one bottle of frosty ginger ale just for you, gotta open it yourself, though, I’m not your maid!
(Johnny takes the bottle from her hand and, using the bricks in the wall behind them, places the cap against the wall and pops it off with the heel of his hand.)
Johnny Walker: Well, where was I now…*he takes a drink as he thinks* Oh, yeah! See, the Dragon Slayers were just the first step…I’ve moved closer to my training school, the Belmont Academy, have hit the ground running with a big victory in my main roster debut, and…*he shoots Harlow a look* Have found a pretty good friend to help me through it.
(A group of people passes between Johnny, Harlow, and the camera as they both take a drink. Johnny waves at someone off screen before continuing.)
Johnny Walker: Look, I know every new person comes out here and talks about how they’re shooting straight to the top, taking on all comers.You’re all tired of that, and I won’t bore you with it again. Instead, what I will say is that no matter how much I’m beaten down, no matter how much adversity I face, I’m not backing down. So, I don’t really care who it is I’m put in front of, they had better be ready for a war, cause if being the bastard son of a drunk couldn’t break me, if Afghanistan couldn’t break me…what chance do you think you got?
(Johnny shakes his head and takes another drink from the bottle in his hand before turning to Harlow.)
Johnny Walker: C’mon, ‘Low, let’s go grab some food, yeah?
(Harlow shrugs and she follows Johnny inside as the camera fades out.)
(Commercial plays for a new EAW Studios movie: Dance With The Devil: The Carmen Ava Story)
(The camera cuts to Aaron Fitzpatrick in the ring.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: The following is a tag team match and it is scheduled for one fall!!!
(“Give Em Hell Kid” by My Chemical Romance hits!!!)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Introducing first at a combined weight of 433 pounds they are the tag team of Jake Smith and Joshua Nicholls they are THEEEEEEEEEE REVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVOLUTION!!!!
(The Revolution makes their way down to the ring as the crowd boos loudly.)
Deadprez: Damn this crowd is enraged by the arrogance of this tag team!
Pierre: Agreed. I heard that Joshua Nicholls didn’t even address the EAW Universe at all this week! He thinks he is too good to give anything back to any of them!
(“Warriors” by Imagine Dragons hits!!!)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Introducing their opponents at a combined weight of 407 pounds they are the tag team of Michael Shaw and Samuel Steele… THEEEEEE DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAGON SLAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYERSS!!!
(The Dragon Slayers come down to the ring looking afraid of their opponents as they slowly step into the ring.)
Deadprez: When is the last time either of these two have slain an actual dragon? Also why have I never seen a dragon before?
Pierre: I don’t know Deadprez. Have you seen your mom lately?
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: We are underway as Joshua Nicholls is shown insisting that he start things off against Michael Shaw but Jake Smith looks reluctant to let him in the ring.
Joshua Nicholls: Don’t worry about it. I totally got this man!
Jake Smith: I’m sure you do buddy.
Pierre: Well it looks like Joshua Nicholls is starting things out in the ring. He goes in as he locks up with Shaw!!! But both men miss each other’s arms as they fall face first in the ring! Damn that was an epic fail!
Deadprez: The crowd is laughing at them as they pull themselves up and lock up again in the ring doing it correctly this time. Shaw weakly tosses Nicholls back into his corner as he makes the tag to Samuel Steele.
Samuel Steele: What the hell? You are tagging me in already? The match literally just started homie…
Michael Shaw: Yo I gotta work on my cardio dawg I am winded as fuck already. That lock up was intense yo!
Pierre: It looks like Steele is now entering the ring. He pulls Nicholls out into the ring… But Nicholls escapes his grab with a bitch slap to the face! Damn the disrespect! But look out! Shaw is up on the top rope as he comes off with a Flying Crossbody!!!
Deadprez: But he jumped too high and hit his partner! Nicholls didn’t even have to move and both Dragon Slayers have been taken out! Steele shoving Shaw off him as he yells at him what the hell is wrong with him. But both men are back up in the ring and the referee is demanding that they get out of the ring. But Joshua Nicholls is telling the referee not to. He will take them both on himself! I am not so sure this is a good idea!
Jake Smith: What the actual fuck dude are you high?
Pierre: Joshua Nicholls charges in with a Clothesline with both arms to The Dragon Slayers! But they dodge it easily grabbing him around the throat as Steele lifts him up over his shoulders… Shaw running up the ropes… SCORCHED CONNECTS!!! Shaw rolls out of the ring as Steele goes for the cover!!!
Deadprez: But Jake Smith in the ring to break up the pin! Smith tosses Steele across the ring as he drags Nicholls back to the corner and grabs the tag rope. Smith tags himself into the match as Nicholls is still out cold! Jake Smith picks Joshua Nicholls back up and tosses him over the top rope.
Jake Smith: Fuck outta here. Go home you’re drunk.
Pierre: Jake Smith enters the ring as he grabs Steele who based on his performance tonight might as well be related to Jacob Steele. Smith lifts Steele up and drops him with a Paralyzer Spinebuster to the mat!!! But wait! Joshua Nicholls is back up on the apron and he is begging to be tagged in.
Joshua Nicholls: Come on amigo. You know you want to!
Deadprez: But Jake Smith does not want to! He has betrayed his partner here tonight! Look at the disappointment on the face of Nicholls as Smith picks Steele back up… BROKEN WINGS CONNECTS!!! THE COVER!!!
Pierre: WAIT JOSHUA NICHOLLS IS IN THE RING LOOKING TO BREAK UP THE PIN!!!
Deadprez: No wait he tripped on one of his untied boot laces and fell over the top rope to the floor!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Here are your winners… THE REVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVOLUTION!!!!
(“Give Em Hell Kid” by My Chemical Romance hits as The Revolution celebrate their victory in the ring with Joshua Nicholls hugging it out with Jake Smith in the ring.)
Deadprez: What we have just witnessed from everyone in this ring tonight aside from Jake Smith may in fact go down as one of the most embarrassing moments in the history of Showdown. Not once in this entire “match” were we treated to anything resembling actual competitive sport or athleticism. The entire arena has now reached dangerous levels of stupidity from the brain cells that were lost in this very arena here tonight and these men in that ring are fully to blame.
Deadprez: I have nothing more to say. Do better. Or else we are going to get cancelled like Battleground.
(Suddenly Clark Ruggiero and Ben Knight who have recently lost their jobs as Battleground commentators jump the barricade to confront Pierre and Deadprez at ringside.)
Deadprez: Oh you want some bitches? Come at me bruh!
(Clark Ruggiero is shown taking his shirt off as The Dragon Slayers confront him begging him to put it back on because nobody wants to see that.)
Pierre: Oh god what have we… WAIT! BEN KNIGHT JUST LAID OUT THE DRAGON SLAYERS FROM BEHIND WITH A LEAD PIPE! HERE COMES SECURITY AS THE FORMER BATTLEGROUND COMMENTATORS LEAP OVER THE BARRICADE TO ESCAPE BUT TRIP AND LAND IN THE CROWD KNOCKING OVER SEVERAL AUDIENCE MEMBERS!!!
Deadprez: The former Battleground commentators with no wrestling experience just laid out a contracted tag team here on Showdown! If you thought that this night couldn’t get anymore embarrassing you were wrong!
Pierre: Please just end our misery and cut to a commercial already. Get these men the help that they clearly need… Except Jake. Jake is the man.
(The camera cuts to a commercial for Elitism: The Forgotten Wrestling Religion of 2013.)
(Camera opens to see Aaron Fitzpatrick standing with a microphone in the ring)
Fitzpatrick: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a triple threat match and is scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!
(“Revolution” by the Beatles hits as Jack Haze makes his entrance to a pop from the crowd)
Fitzpatrick: Introducing first, making his way to the ring from Queens, New York… Weighing in at 211 pounds… JACK HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZE!!!!
Pierre: Jack Haze got his first main roster win last week alongside Johnny Walker against the Dragon Slayers last week. There’s a massive amount of potential in this young man and that’s why he was one of a few selected to be brought up from Battleground early.
Deadprez: But hes still young and has a lot to learn. That rookie year is massive to anyone in EAW regardless of experience. Jack took a major step forward last week and you have to think it’s a major confidence boost for him. Now if he just puts it all together, he’s gonna be a force to deal with.
(“Naive Blood” by Silent Planet hits as Solomon Hill walks out to the surprise of the crowd)
Fitzpatrick: And his opponents, Introducing first, making his way to the ring from Jerusalem, Israel… weighing in at 253 pounds… SOLLLOOOMMOOOOONNN HHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
Deadprez: We got a dangerous man making his main roster debut here. Solomon has been referred to as a man with no soul and he is more than willing to leave bodies broken to get what he wants.
Pierre: Hes a fascinating addition to the Showdown roster and you always have to wonder when a man of this size comes in the kind of impact he can have. We have a roster stacked with skill and technical capability. But there’s something to be said for physical strength and size. Look at our very own Cody Marshall here on Showdown as an example.
(“You Only Live Once (instrumental)” by Suicide Silence hits as Damon Diesel comes out to a mixed reaction from the crowd)
Fitzpatrick: And their opponent, making his way to the ring from Orlando, Florida… weighing in at 205 pounds… DAAAAAAAAMMMMMOOOOOONNNN DDDDDIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
Pierre: And here comes the number one contender to the New Breed Championship. You know Damon will be fixated on Raven Roberts’s match at Road to Redemption next week as he looks to scout his future opponent.
Deadprez: Damon has been hunting for that New Breed Championship for quite a while. He’s come close a couple times but maybe third times the charm.
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Pierre: Here we go! All three men looking around for who’s gonna make the first move! No one wants to be the one to leave an opening and they all eye each other! But here goes Jack Haze and Damon Diesel! They’re… talking to each other? OH! Now they both unload kicks into Solomon’s knees and try to wear the larger man down! Shot after shot to chop down the tree and now he’s down to one knee! Damon saying something to Jack but I can’t make out what and— DOUBLE SNAP DDT! Solomon’s head was just driven directly into the canvas by both of his opponents! This might as well be a handicap match with Damon Diesel and Jack Haze working together like this!
Deadprez: SPOKE TOO SOON! Now Diesel grabs the rear waist lock on Haze and lifts him back for a powerful German suplex! He keeps the bridge and tries to get the pin!
But Haze manages to get out of it! He rolls backwards up to his feet quick and steps in— PENALTY KICK ACROSS THE JAW OF DAMON DIESEL! Jack drops down and immediately begins to apply a shoulder lock but now here comes Solomon grabbing Jack by the skull and lifting him up! He pulls Haze into a reverse bear hug and begins to squeeze the life out of him! Haze struggling to fight back but begins to throw back elbows! He catches Solomon over the cheek a few times but Hill doesn’t lessen the hold! Jack looks like he may be beginning to fade!!!
Pierre: BUT DAMON DIESEL FROM BEHIND WITH A CHOP BLOCK!!!!! Hill and Haze both crash to the mat as Damon begins to drop news over and over again onto Solomon who is on top of Haze! Damon driving weight into both meant and trying to cause as much damage as he can! Haze is trying to crawl himself out from underneath but struggling! Damon leaps and DROPS A VICIOUS DOUBLE KNEE INTO THE SMALL OF SOLOMONS BACK! Solomon arches his back and Haze manages to finally escape! He crawls himself to the ropes and Solomon rolls out of the ring, clutching at his back! Diesel comes up behind Jack! DEADLIFTS HIM WITH A REAR WAIST LOCK! ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX!
Deadprez: BUT HAZE BROKE THE GRIP AND FLIPPED BACK TO LAND ON HIS FEET! He charges at Damon and goes for a penalty kick— BUT DIESEL DUCKS UNDERNEATH! Both of them need to open their playbooks up a little more to get the victory here! Damon comes up with the neckbreaker from behind… BUT JACK SHOVES HIM OFF! And Jack follows in with a chop to the chest! And he chops Damon again! AND AGAIN! Damon’s chest is turning bright red and Jack goes for another chop but Damon grabs him and tosses Jack into the corner! Damon follows with a knee to the gut! Damon lifts Jack up to the top rope! Damon climbs up… COULD IT BE? THE UNDERGROUND? WE HAVENT SEEN THIS SUPERPLEX IN A LONG LING TIME!!!! DAMON DIGGING DEEP IN THE ARSENAL TO TRY AND GET THE BIG WIN HERE TONIGHT!!!!!
THIS IS WHY HES THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE NEW BREED CHAMPIONSHIP!!! HE GOES TO LIFT JACK!!!!
Pierre: BUT SOLOMON HILL JUST CRACKED DAMON IN THE BACK WITH A STEEL CHAIR! Triple threats are no disqualification by nature and Solomon is trying to take advantage of it all! Solomon cracks Damon in the back again and Damon drops off the top rope and falls to the mat! Solomon turns his attention to Jack and— OHMYGAWD SOLOMON CRACKS THE CHAIR OVER JACK HAZE’S SKULL AND JACK DROPS OVER THE ROPES TO THE APRON AND FALLS TO THE FLOOR! Solomon turns back to Damon and drops the chair! He grabs Diesel by the head and pulls him to his feet! Damon is wobbling and Solomon grabs him and pulls Damon’s head between his legs before lifting him up! POWERBOMB POSITION! HILL IS LOOKING FOR THE EMPATHY BYPASS!
Deadprez: But Damon realizes where he is! He starts driving elbows into the top of Solomon’s head! Elbow after elbow into his skull and Damon pops himself up… AND OVER SOLOMONS SHOULDERS INTO A SUNSET FLIP!!!! SHOULDERS DOWN!
Solomon kicks out! Damon tries to get on the offensive again and rushes Solomon directly but The big man isn’t having it! He grabs Damon by the back of the head and runs him shoulder first into the turnbuckle! Damon crashes hard and is slow to pull himself out of the corner! He drags himself out slowly and look sup to see that Solomon has lined himself up in the corner! SOLOMON CHARGES! RUNNING BIG BOOT!
Pierre: NO! DAMON GRABBED THE CHAIR AND THREW IT INTO SOLOMONS FACE!!! Solomon stumbles back from the shot! Damon comes in now and picks the chair up again! He cracks it over Solomon’s skull now and he drops the chair and grabs Solomon by the head before planting him with a ddt to the chair! Damon comes from behind and takes hold of Solomon’s leg and HAS THE ANKLE LOCK APPLIED!
Deadprez: HE CALLS IT THE LEG LOCK AND HAS IT APPLIED WITH SOLOMONS FOOT TURNED ALMOST COMPLETELY SIDEWAYS! SOLOMON IS CRAWLING AND SCRATCHING TRYING TO USE HIS STRENGTH BUT GOING NOWHERE!!!! DAMON TORQUING WITH EVERYTHING HE HAS AND SOLOMON RAISES HIS HAND! HE MAY TAP HERE!
Pierre: BUT JACK HAZE JUST SLID IN THE RING! HE ROLLS DAMON UP FROM BEHIND!
ONEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEE!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Fitzpatrick: Here is your winner by pinfall… JACK HAZE!
(“Revolution” plays as the referee raises Jacks hand! Jack smiles through a bloody face from the chair shot earlier. Solomon clutches his ankle and Damon looks around shocked)
Pierre: Jack Haze has his first singles victory on the main roster here tonight! This could be the very momentum he needs to carry himself into the next chapter of his career! Way to go kid!
Deadprez: Damon got caught not paying full attention! He was too focused on the submission that he forgot it was a triple threat! Jack Haze came in and made the play to win! Congratulations!
(Jack slides out the ring and walks back up with both fists raised in the air)
(Commercial for Zaddy’s Dominican Chicken)
(Camera opens to panning over the crowd as “Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac hits to a big pop as TLA walks out in his Showdown blue suit with the Openweight Championship over his shoulder as he walks down to the ring and climbs in)
Fitzpatrick: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the reigning EAW Openweight Champion… T! L! A!
(Aaron Fitzpatrick hands TLA the microphone before exiting the ring)
TLA: Hola, Winnipeg!
Crowd: WOOOOOOO! HE SAID WHERE IM FROM!!!
TLA: That’s right. TLA got much love for the great white north. And we do it big around here, ya know? But you know who ain’t been showing much love lately? Consuela Rose Ava. Man I make this girl an offer that anyone else would jump at at she goes beating around the bush and being all disrespectful to me.
TLA: Yeah. I feel that. But hey. It’s cool. I get it. Consuela got a big match with me next week at Road to Redemption— Exclusively on the EAW Network, get a free month using promo code “PoonLA”— so she gotta look all bad and what not. I get it. This the business we in. So all that disrespectful shit aside, Consuela, mami, TLA can’t help but notice that you ain’t never said “no”. And that’s why I’m here. Because when I made this offer and you didn’t say no, that means I know you interested. Girl, you know you gonna be the finest bitch in the whole Palace and we gon’ set you right up in that maid room so you can be Poonin’ right.
(The crowd has a mix of laughter and cheers)
TLA: So this is what I did. I made Consuela an even sweeter offer to make sure I get her sweet sweet culo working with me. Check this shit. Weekends off. Unlimited access to the Poon Pool. Time off for when she gotta train for them matches. Even a ten percent raise over what every other new girl making right now. Why do I give you all these things? Because if there’s one thing that’s unquestionable in EAW is that the Ava’s got that top tier that make folks crazy. Look at how many dudes handed Cameron around back in the day! And now we got an Ava with a pre-built sexy maid fetish? Vamos! We in this!
Crowd: MAID! MAID! MAID! MAID!
TLA: That’s right! And ya boy, TLA, went and put all this shit in writing. I had a contract delivered to the hospital room of Carmen Ava. Tragic shit last week but hey, she can take pride in baby girl’s new opportunities. So by now I know that contract is in Consuela’s sexy hands and I’m calling for an answer.
(TLA points towards the entrance ramp)
TLA: Come on out, Consuela. I know you here, girl. Don’t play.
(Nothing happens and TLA looks around for a moment until Consuela Rose Ava appears on the titantron)
Consuela: Sorry to disappoint you there, TLA. But I’m not at the arena.
Consuela: But you should recognize where I am…
(The camera for the tron pans back to show a “Welcome Consuela” banner and various balloons around it as it hangs inside the main entry of the Poon Palace. Consuela holds up a yellow envelope)
Consuela: I just thought I might come and check out the facilities before I signed our little deal here. Make sure I feel good here.
TLA: That’s a great idea, mami! I want you right at home there when you join the warm and welcoming Poon Palace family!
(Consuela points to a door with an image of a feather duster on it and walks in)
Consuela: Well I guess this would be my room, wouldn’t it?
(The room has various maid related things including a skimpy maid outfit on a Parisian mannequin with various things scattered amongst the room and around the bed)
TLA: Just like I promised!! All of this is yours as soon as you sign on the dotted line!
(Consuela runs her hand along the wall of feather dusters)
Consuela: You know. I thought I left my maid days behind me. But seeing all of this… it’s clearly where I belong. It was foolish of me to change who I was. To deny the maid within. But before I sign, there’s just one more thing. I wanna feel comfortable and at home here in the room.
(TLA has a look of extreme anticipation and eagerness on his face)
TLA: Yeah girl. Whatever you need.
(Consuela walks over and grabs a lighter off of a dresser to the side and lights a couple of scented candles that are seated next to the lighter. The oils begins to melts and Consuela wafts the scent towards her nose)
Consuela: Ah. Don’t you just love the scent of lavender? It’s so soothing and calming… it’s like a blanket for your senses.
(TLA is yapping his foot in the ring)
TLA: Yeah. It’s nice shit.
(Consuela then uses the envelope to waft the scent even more. After a few waves, she runs the envelope through the flame of the candle and feigns surprise when it catches fire.)
Consuela: Oopsy. There’s goes my contract.
TLA: What the fuck you think you’re doin girl?!?
Consuela: Well. I think you’re a perverted pendejo who needs to be taught a lesson. Coming out here to be one of your personal whores? Not a fucking chance. And all of this… this… ¡BASURA! You actually thought I was wanting this? Well allow me to formally refuse your offer. I left the maid garbage behind for a reason! It was an idiotic concept and not conducive to serious competitor. So now… let me show you exactly what I thought of your little offer here.
(Consuela takes the flaming envelope and sets it to the hem of the maid uniform on the mannequin. It lights almost instantly)
TLA: CONSUELA! ¡ESPERA! STOP!
(Consuela kicks the mannequin into the bed, setting the comforter and bedding on fire.)
Consuela: See you next week. Bring my title with you.
(Smoke is filling the room as Consuela walks off screen and exits. In the arena, TLA slides frantically out of the ring and whips a cell phone out as he runs up the ramp)
TLA: ¡FUEGO! THAT CRAZY BITCH JUST SET THE PLACE ON FIRE!
(He vanishes begins the curtain as he dashed to heroically save the Poon Palace)
Deadprez: RUN TLA! SAVE THE POON!
Pierre: Mygawd! Consuela sending a STRONG message to TLA tonight. She will cross whatever boundaries she has to! This girl just wants to win!
(Commercial for the Extreme Elimination Bikini Chamber for the Specialists Title! FOX cares!)
(Broadcast shows a promo package of Malcolm Jones and his various altercations with Hurricane Hawk and being attacked by Terry Chambers the week before. Camera then opens to show Aaron Fitzpatrick in the ring)
Fitzpatrick: Ladies and Gentlemen… the following contest is scheduled for one fall!!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
Fitzpatrick: And it is for the EAW Interwire Championship!
(“Can’t be Touched” by Roy Jones jr hits the stage and Terry Chambers walks out onto the stage to boos from the crowd. He ignores the crowd as he eyed the ring and takes a deep breath)
Pierre: Terry Chambers is man who’s had a number of ups and downs through his career but I can’t recall seeing him as laser focused as he’s been this week! Ever since he found out this match was happening he’s had the Interwire Championship in his sights!
(Terry makes his walk down to the ring without taking his eyes off the ring itself before climbing in)
Deadprez: Terry is an animal, man. Highs and lows through his career, call it whatever you like. What matters is right now, and right this moment Terry looks like he’s focused in on winning this match and winning that title!
(“Pray For ‘Em” by Meek Mill hits as Malcolm Jones walks out through the curtains with the Interwire Championship around his waist. He steps out with his usual swagger but an intense look on his face as he watches Terry.)
Deadprez: Malcolm hasn’t forgotten about Terry attacking him from behind last week and nearly choking him out! You better believe that with his title on the line here tonight, he’s looking to make Terry pay.
(Malcolm makes his walk down, his eyes following Terry as Terry walks around the ring. Malcolm climbs up and into the ring before removing the championship from his waist and holding it high for everyone to see)
Pierre: He holds that title with pride and defenses or not, no one can deny the wins Malcolm has picked up recently against the likes of Hearts Break Boy and Impact! Size advantage or not, Terry will have his work cut out for him!
(Aaron Fitzpatrick moves to the center of the ring and motions towards Terry)
Fitzpatrick: Introducing first, the challenger, fighting out of Detroit, Michigan, and weighing in at two hundred and eighty seven pounds… he is the “Barbaric Carnivore”… TERRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY CCCCHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMBBBBBEEEEEERRRRRRSSSS!!!!
(Terry steps out and pounds his chest with a confident look. Fitzpatrick then moves towards Malcolm’s corner)
Fitzpatrick: And now, Introducing the Champion, fighting out of Harlem, New York, and weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds… he is “The Rose that Grew from the Concrete Jungle”… and is the reigning EAW Interwire Champion… MALLLLLLCCCCCOOOOOOOOLLLLMMMMMMMMM JJJJJJJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!
(Malcolm holds the title up and stares a hole through Terry. The referee walks over and takes the title from Malcolm before holding it up for everyone to see. He hands it out to the timekeeper before looking to both men, asking if they’re ready, and calling for the bell)
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Pierre: Both men move towards the center and circle around! TERRY LUNGES! But Malcolm slips outta the way! Trying to find an opening that he feels good about! Let’s not forget, Deadprez, that this match isn’t just for the Interwire Championship. Our general manager, Hurricane Hawk, says whoever leaves with the title tonight will also get a special opportunity at Road to Redemption next week! This match was originally going to take place there but now whoever wins will be slotted elsewhere! You gotta wonder what a prize like that could be?
Deadprez: You do gotta wonder but you also gotta focus on the match at hand! You can’t let coulda, woulda, or shoulda get in your head right now. Go out and win the spot. Then worry about what it is. Malcolm getting started aggressively here as he charges in with a kick to the thigh of Terry Chambers as he looks to soften the big man’s base! Malcolm trying t be quick like lightning and strike before Terry can get off a shot! Smart strategy to take away the size advantage with his speed! Malcolm moves in for another kick and it connects! He backs out and circles… AND ANOTHER KICK! You can see swelling starting to form underneath Terry’s hip there! That’s gonna make it very hard to move as this match gets into the later going!
Pierre: It is but you have to wonder how long Malcolm can keep this— NO YOU DONT HAVE TO WONDER BECAUSE HE JUST THREW ANOTHER KICK AND TERRY THREW HIMSELF DOWN ONTO THE LEG AND FORCED MALCOLM DOWN TO THE GROUND! Now Terry mounts MJ from the top and tears into him with vicious hammerfists! Shot after shot and MJ tried to cover up but Terry rocking into his ribs and shoulder and OH MJ MOVED HIS HAND AND TERRY CAUGHT HIM IN THE EYE WITH A MASSIVE SHOT! That’s gonna be a bruise tomorrow! Terry now transitions around and grabs ahold of Malcolm’s leg to create a kneebar! Terry is pulling back and hyperextending the ligaments in MJ’s knee as he tries to force the submission!
Ref: Malcolm, do you submit?
MJ: HELL NO!
Pierre: Malcolm now reaching up and swing with what he has into the back of Terry’s head! Terry is unphased as he cranks the kneebar in deeper and tighter! Malcolm groans in pain and keeps swinging for Terry’s head! HE MANAGES TO SIT UP AND SLIP HIS ARM THROUGH! MJ TRYING FOR A REAR NAKED CHOKE ON THE BIG MAN! Ah but Terry releases the leg and managed to turn around and block the choke! Now he has the mount again and throws punches into Malcolm’s ribs!
Deadprez: Terry is looking to systematically dismantle Malcolm Jones! Now he transitions over into a side control position and tries to apply a shoulder lock! BUT MJ SLIPPED IT! Malcolm gets out and rolls away from Terry Chambers! He gets out to the apron under the bottom rope and looks for a breather but Terry is on the hunt! He comes in to grab MJ by the head… BUT MJ GRABBED TERRY AND JUMPED OFF THE APRON! TERRY GETS HUNG UP ON THE TOP ROPE AND MALCOLM SLIDE INTO THE RING! Ooh he’s favoring that knee again! Jumping from the apron after that kneebar may have hurt!
Pierre: MJ tries to beat some life into that knee as he comes in and grabs ahold of Terry! MJ leaps up… OH PUTS THE GOOD KNEE INTO THE BACK OF TERRY’S HEAD AND DRIVES HIM STRAIGHT DOWN INTO THE MAT! MJ looks up and over at the turn buckle and climbs his way up! Terry is beginning to stir but it looks like MJ is looking for the Five Star Swag Splash! Gonna end it early! BUT TERRY POPS UP AND YANKS AT THE TOP ROPE! MJ is set of balance and falls split leg on the turnbuckle!
Deadprez: You can’t do that to another man…
Pierre: MJ looks breathlessly in pain as he falls over from the top rope to the mat!! Terry grabs MJ… LIFTS HIM UP INTO A FIREMANS CARRY! T-5 CONNECTS! TERRY ROLLS IMMEDIATELY OVER TO MAKE THE PIN!
ONEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEE!
BUT MJ GOT HIS FOOT ON THE ROPE! MJ STILL ALIVE! TERRY IS SCREAMING AT THE REFEREE THAT HE SHOULD’VE WON THERE AS MJ ROLLS TO THE APRON! He rolls onto his feet on the outside and looks to recover! BUT TERRY IS OUTSIDE AND STALKING FROM BEHIND! MASSIVE CLOTHESLINE TURNS MJ INSIDE OUT! The referee looks to start the count!
MJ is down and Terry grabs him by the head! Begins to pull him up!
Terry has MJ to his feet and picks him up in a bear hug position! TAKES OFF!!
TERRY JUST CRASHED MJ’S SPINE INTO THE STEEL RING POST! MJ collapses back to the ground and clutches at his back!
Terry stomps on the hurt knee goes to grab MJ’s head again! Begins to pull him up for more punishment!
Terry steps back! ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE! NO! MJ WITH THE DROP TOE HOLD AND TERRY SMASHES FACE FIRST INTO THE RING APRON!
Terry’s face is busted wide open as he tries to stand back up! BUT MJ COMES IN WITH A LIFTING KNEE TO THE JAW!
Oh! That was the hurt knee and MJ is limping a bit! Terry is stunned against the ring apron as Malcolm now pulls him back and tries to roll him into the ring!
It takes all his strength but MJ gets Terry into the ring and slides in behind him! Terry is barely moving and Malcolm hooks a leg for the pin!
ONEEEEEE! TWOOOOOO! THR—
Deadprez: Terry kicks out! Still alive! Terry tries to roll over and stand and… OH THATS DISGUSTING! Terry tried to breathe through his nose but it was full of blood! He just shot blood out of his nose and into the mat! But MJ sees it and tries to take advantage! He grabs Terry by the head and drives a knee straight into his nose! The blood is just free flowing now! Terry falls back to the mat and MJ limps his way to the turnbuckles! Gonna try it again! MJ pulls him self up, rope by rope! Sets himself in position! FIVE STAR SWAG SPLASH!
Pierre: BUT TERRY GOT THE KNEES UP! MJ bounces off the knees in pain AND TERRY ISNT LETTING IT GO TO WASTE! HE ROLLS AROUND BEHIND AND LOCKS IT IN! NIGHT NIGHT! THE COQUINA CLUTCH IS LOCKED IN! Terry is snarling at MJ to tap from behind through all the blood and mess on his face! He has the rear seated position and MJ can’t go anywhere! MJ is flailing every direction! He’s looking for an escape! But he’s not finding it! The referee goes to check! Malcolm is fading but not out! The ref lifts the hand and Malcolm makes a fist and keeps it up! But he’s struggling! He needs to find a way—
Deadprez: MALCOLM JUST ROLLED BACKWARDS OVER TERRY AND GETS HIS FEET ON THE MAT! Terry has the hold but his shoulders are down! Same kind of pin that HBB used to beat the big man!
ONEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEE—
NO! Terry released the hold just in time and got his shoulder up! BUT NOW MALCOLM DROPS IN FROM BEHIND! COCAINA CLUTCH! MJ HAS A COQUINA CLUTCH OF HIS OWN LOCKED IN! TERRY HAS ALREADY LOST A LOT OF BLOOD FROM HIS HEAD! THIS CUTS OFF THE SUPPLY! TERRY LOOKING AND ROLLING! TRYING TO FIND A WAY— DEAR GAWD LOOK AT THE STRENGTH! TERRY ROLLS OVER AND STANDS WITH MJ ON HIS BACK STILL APPLYING THE CHOKE! THE BIG MAN IS FADING BUT STANDING! TERRY DRIVES MJ BACKWARDS CRASHING INTO THE TURNBUCKLES! Terry clutches at his throat as he tries to get the air and blood flow going again! He turns and looks pissed! MJ is still in the corner! The effects of his spine to the post earlier must’ve added to the impact there! Terry lines up! TERRY CHARGES MJ IN THE CORNER!!!
Pierre: BUT MJ SLIPS OUT OF THE WAY AND SENDS TERRY BOUNCING CHEST FIRST OFF THE TURNBUCKLES! Terry turns around— RIGHT INTO A DROPKICK FROM MALCOLM! That caught Terry right in his busted nose and he falls flat to the mat! MJ looks around at the crowd who are going insane! He steps out and climbs up the ropes! MJ stands in position! Beats a little more life into that knee! Lines himself up! FIVE STAR SWAG SPLASH!!
Deadprez: IT HITS! THE SPLIT LEGGED FROG SPLASH CONNECTS!! MJ HOOKS THE LEG AND MAKES THE COVER!!!
ONEEEEEEEE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Fitzpatrick: Here is your winner… Aaaaaaaaannnndddd STIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLL… EAW Interwire Champion… MALLLLLLLLCCCCCCOOOOOOOLLLLLLMMMMMMM JJJJOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!
(MJ rolls off of Terry and stumbles over to the ropes. The referee raises his hand and hands him the championship)
Pierre: Terry came with a fantastic showing but the Champion managed to retain! Malcolm Jones is going to Road to Redemption!
Deadprez: MJ walks with a fantastic victory tonight! He retains the championship and proves exactly why he won it in the first place!
???: Well done. Well done
(Camera pans to show Hurricane Hawk and a backstage assistant standing on the top of the ramp. Hawk has a microphone in hand. MJ looks him down and raises the title over his head)
Hawk: Congratulations Malcolm. You won! You defended the title and that’s everything I asked of you. But you better get rested up quick. Because you’re going to represent Showdown next week in the King of Elite fatal 4 way!
Deadprez: WHOA! That’s major!
Pierre: The winner of that match will skip the entire tournament and go straight to the King of Elite finals! This could be exactly the kind of opportunity MJ has been hunting for!
(MJ has a grin and nods his head as hell’s down at his championship on his shoulder)
Hawk: Now. Not to be rude. But let’s clear the ring. We’ve still got a show going on here.
(FINAL COMMERCIAL: Four Extreme Elimination Chambers in one event. Don’t miss Road to Redemption next week! Live in the EAW Network!)
(Camera opens to show Hurricane Hawk standing in the middle of the ring with with a microphone and a young woman sitting at a table next to him with a clipboard. Behind them both stands Cody Marshall, Ahren Fournier, Heart Break Boy, Drake King, Chris Elite and Diamond Cage. Big Mike and Kassidy Heart stand outside of the ring on opposite sides. Big Mike holds a rose and wears a t-shirt that reads “My Name is Oversized Mikey”)
Hawk: WHATS UP WINNIPEG?!?
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOO! SOMEONE SAID OUR CITY AGAIN!!!!
Hawk: It has been a wild night here on Showdown! A lot of great action and… eh… a lot of fires to be put out. But all that said, now is the moment where we take the final steps to Road to Redemption! Tonight is the night where our Extreme Elimination Chamber competitors will select their weapons! Each of them where given a slip of paper earlier tonight and told to write their selections down! And now it’s time to compile our list before we make everything official! So let’s get right to it! Guys! Who’s ready?
(The six men look between each other, clearly head games going between them but Drake King steps forward with a confident look and hands Hawk his slip of paper. Hawk looks at it and raises his eyebrows as he hands it to the assistant who copies it down.)
Crowd: OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK!
Cody (off mic): SHUT UP!!!!
(Cody steps up and shoves his paper into Hawks chest before grabbing the microphone from him)
Cody: The only thing OK about being in Canada is the fact that the beer is supposed to have more alcohol in it! That way it’s easier to get too drunk to remember I’m in this shit hole!
(Cody tosses the microphone back to Hawk. The others follow suit as HBB, Ahren, and Chris all hand their papers in before Cage steps up with the EAW Championship on his shoulder and holds his paper up)
Cage (off-mic): you gonna suspend me for this too?
(Hawk grabs the paper from Cage and rolls his eyes as he hands it to the assistant)
Hawk: Well, that’s that! The weapons have been selected and the stage is set! The Extreme Elimination Chamber is one week away. This is a match that will change your career. It will shorten your life. But it’s for the biggest prize we have. Being the EAW Champion is—
(Cage grabs the microphone from Hawk)
Cage: Is not going to happen for anyone but me. You’re gonna have to kill me to get this title and no one has the balls to step up and put Diamond Cage down. Everyone who has tried has given their best. I’ve been beaten to the point of barely walking by the NEO Syndicate before my barbed wire cage match with Michael Bishop and I still whipped that bitch’s ass straight outta the company. There’s a reason why I’m the champion and that’s because their very best doesn’t even touch me on my worst day! You all see me and the only word you should think is “goals”. You think it’s because of the title on my shoulder. But it’s because of Diamond Cage the man. You wanna be me because no one else can be me. No one else can do what I do. Take the punishment I take while standing up and fighting. No one—
(Kassidy Heart grabs Cage by the foot and makes him fall)
Pierre: AHREN FOURNIER TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THE DISTRACTION BY KASSIDY HEART AND USES THE UMBRELLA HE WAS LEANING ON TO BEAT DIAMOND CAGE OVER THE HEAD! KASSIDY LAUGHS ON THE OUTSIDE!
Deadprez: BUT LOOK! CODY MARSHALL JUST GRABBED DRAKE KING AND THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE BEFORE GRABBING AHOLD OF CHRIS ELITE! HE PULLS CHRIS ELITE UP—
Pierre: GOLDPRINT! HBB JUST HIT THE GOLDPRINT ON CODY MARSHALL WHO FALLS BACK INTO THE CORNER! HBB turns around RIGHT INTO A BOX OFFICE SMASH! THE SUPERKICK FROM CHRIS ELITE AS CHEIS RETURNS THE FAVOR FROM LAST WEEK! HBB drops and rolls to the ropes! BUT NOW AHREN CRACKS THE UMBRELLA OVER THE BACK OF CHRIS’S HEAD! BUT HERE COMES BIG MIKE NOW TO HELP HIS FRIEND!
Deadprez: KASSIDY HEART IS STOMPING INTO CAGE ON THE OUTSIDE! SHE PAUSES TO LAUGH AT HIM AND NOW SHE SLAPS HIM AS HE TRIES TO STAND! Kassidy just taunting the EAW Champion! WHO STANDS STRAIGHT UP AND GRABS KASSIDY! HE LIFTS HER UP! CRADLE TO THE GRAVE! GOTCH STYLE PILEDRIVER PLANTS KASSIDY ON THE FLOOR! BIG MIKE SAW IT FROM THE INSIDE AND RUNS OUT TO CRADLE KASSIDY IN HIS ARMS AS CAGE SLIDES BACK INTO THE RING!
Pierre: HBB GOES FOR A GOLDPRINT ON AHREN BUT THE GOAT DODGES AND HITS HBB WITH A REVERSE SUPLEX TO SEND HIM THROUGH THE TABLE AND SENDS HAWKS ASSISTANT ROLLING OUT OF THE RING! HAWK IS RUNNING AROUND TEYING TO CONTAIN THE CHAOS BUT HE CATCHES A BACK ELBOW FROM CODY MARSHALL AS HE COCKS A PUNCH TO HIT CHRIS ELITE ON THE OUTSIDE! HAWK MAY BE OUT AND THIS IS ALL CARNAGE!
Deadprez: CODY UNLOADS ON ELITE BEFORE HITTING HIM WITH THE RAPTURE ONTO THE RING APRON! ELITE CRUMBLES TO THE FLOOR AS CODY TURNS AROUND INTO A DROPKICK TO THE FACE FROM DRAKE KING! Cody stumbles backwards and over the barricade into the crowd! OH NO!
Pierre: AHREN IS STILL STOMPING INTO HBB AFTER PUTTING HIM THROUGH THE TABLE AND HE DOESNT SEE DIAMOND CAGE! AHREN TURNS AND CAGE PLANTS THE CENTER PLATE OF THE EAW CHAMPIONSHIP RIGHT INTO AHREN’S NOSE! OH! HES BLEEDING! CAGE STANDS BIG FROM—
Deadprez: THE GUILLOTINE!! DRAKE KING ACTUALLY HIT THE GUILLOTINE!!! HE PLANTED THE RUNNING KNEE INTO DIAMOND CAGE’S FACE! EVERYONE ELSE IS DOWN! DRAKE LOOKS AT HIS FEET AND PICKS UP THE EAW CHAMPIONSHIP! THE CROWD IS GOING INSANE! DRAKE HOLDS THE CHAMPIONSHIP HIGH OVER HIS HEAD!!!
Pierre: COULD THIS BE THE SIGHT NEXT WEEK? IF DRAKE KING CAN FIGHT LIKE THIS AND HIT THAT GUILLOTINE IN THE MATCH HE COULD WALK OUT AS THE EAW CHAMPION!
Crowd: OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK!
Pierre: THE EAW UNIVERSE STANDS BEHIND DRAKE KING!! WERE OUT OF TIME FOLKS! THANK YOU FOR JOINING US ON ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF SATURDAY NIGHT SHOWDOWN! FOR DEADPREZ, IM PIERRE MCGUIRE! WE’LL SEE YOU AT ROAD TO REDEMPTION!!!!
(EAW Network Logo buzzes)