(EAW intro plays.)
(PREVIOUSLY ON SHOWDOWN…)
(RECAP: The recap begins with the news of Mr. DEDEDE cancelling his match with Harlow Reichert due to “load management.” Harlow comes out ready to fight. Instead of of DEDEDE, DEDEDE’s wife, Kassidy Heart comes out and justifies DEDEDE’s absence tonight. She makes it clear that DEDEDE doesn’t care to waste his time with Harlow. Kassidy then states that she’ll go to DEDEDE about Harlow getting her Answers World Championship Match… if Harlow survives in a match against Kassidy. Highlights of the match are shown as both women are pushing each other to the limit, but neither woman are able to make it to the ring on time. However, the brawl still continues with Kassidy striking Harlow with a steel chair. Kassidy continues her assault as officials go to Harlow’s aid.)
(TRANSITION: It fast forwards to Harlow Reichert backstage getting interviewed by Molly Waters. Harlow claims that she did more than survive Kassidy Heart tonight. She pushed Kassidy further than Kassidy expected to be pushed. Harlow calls out DEDEDE for their title match to be an Extreme Rules Match. Harlow claims that she’s taking DEDEDE’s title and she’s taking it in blood.)
(TRANSITION: We have a surprise segment by Kensingten Calhoun-Astor that talks about her treatment on Showdown. She announces that she has been inserted to the Extreme Elimination Chamber Match for the Specialists Championship at Road to Redemption. Kensingten states that Showdown needs a woman like her to represent their brand and be the Specialists Champion. Kensingten wants to make a name for herself and she’ll be damned if anyone becomes a hurdle in her way of making a name for herself. “Diva” by Beyoncè plays through the speakers as Candice Blair Ava comes out, which catches Kensingten off guard a bit. Candice explains a bit of her background and her whereabouts within the past two years. The week before Sarah Vaughn, had contacted Candice and offered her an EAW contract, but a contract that doesn’t limit her to one brand, isn’t a full-time contract and still lets her do her thing on the independent wrestling scene. But, if EAW needs her, she will be placed in matches and on the cards wherever she’s needed. After a back-and-forth between her and Kensingten, Candice announces that she will be in the Specialist Chamber at Road to Redemption. The segment ends with these two knowing that they are going to need to watch out for the other going into the match.)
(TRANSITION: We pan forward to the saga of Ahren Fournier looking for his beloved Jennipurr. It goes to Ahren’s match against PURE Champion Jake Smith. As Ahren has the upperhand, a meow is heard throughout the arena. The tron reveals Heavenly Hell and Minerva holding Jennipurr, who rocks a Heavenly Hell onesie. We have a bit of mind games from the Unified Tag Team Champions, who were able to distracted Ahren and Jake roll Ahren up and get the biggest win of his career so far. Ahren doesn’t care about the loss as he goes to find Jennipurr. Before Ahren begins to sob like a bitch, Chris Elite gets into the frame with Jennipurr in his possession. Chris claims that he recognized the spot that Heavenly Hell were at and tried to catch up to them, but Jennipurr was left alone, when he got there. Chris assures Ahren he has an idea to get back at them, but he has a match to get too.)
(TRANSITION: We see highlights of the Extreme Elimination Preview Match with Xander Payne, Mark Michaels and Chris Elite. We go to the end of the match with Xander looking to defeat Mark, but Chris manages to deliver two Box Office Smashes on Xander to get him out of the ring. Chris gets the pin on Mark by connecting with You Gotta Love It!)
(TRANSITION: It pans forward to the main event with Heavenly Hell and Jamie O’Hara and Cameron Ella Ava. Highlights of these competitive bout are shown. The match is fun and everything that it needed to be. It goes towards the end of the match with Heavenly Hell connecting with The Finger on God on Jamie. Cameron connecting with In Excelsis to the back of Minerva’s head. However, Constance Blevins drills Cameron on her beck with the LionessPride as that takes her out of the ring. Constance goes to pin Jamie, but before the three count is made, the official is pulled out of the ring by Chris Elite, who pulls out his Gawd Contract and makes himself the official of the match. Constance is pissed and goes right after Chris. As she’s attacking Chris, Jamie manages to connect with a Stardust Breaker on Constance and covers Constance. Chris quickly makes the count and thus, Jamie and Cameron win the match. The recap ends with the married couple looking at Chris who mouths “you bozos owe me now” and Heavenly Hell looking at Chris with death glares.)
(“DNA” by Kendrick Lamar plays, cueing Saturday Night Showdown. It pans the the arena with the theme song still playing in the background. The crowd is sold out tonight in The Rogers Place as we see various signs from the EAW Universe!)
(SCREEN BAR — EDMONTON, ALBERTA, CANADA!)
Gavin Kirkland: Two weeks, guys! Two weeks until Road to Redemption! Welcome to Saturday Night Showdown! We are live from The Rogers Place in Edmonton, Alberta Canada! I am Gavin Kirkland! Next to me in the center of this booth is the beautiful former Vixens Champion, and lead commentator, Eve and a man not as handsome as myself, but on the other end is Deadprez!
Deadprez: You want me to kill you tonight, but it’s the start of the holiday season! We’re so glad for you guys to take some time off your Black Friday shopping in order to witness this edition of Showdown! We got an amazing show tonight, don’t we?
Eve: Tonight, we have one-half of the Unified Tag Team Champions, Minerva taking on one-half of The ILLIONAIRES, Chris Elite! With their two respective partners at their corners, we expect a lot of things to go down! Not only that, but we also have the debut of Candice Blair as she looks to face Kensingten Calhoun-Astor in a Specialists Chamber Preview Match!
Gavin Kirkland: That’s a match that you are not going to want to take a piss break during! It’s going to be a show stealer, but tonight! We are exc– (talks to his earpiece) wait, what’s that?
Deadprez: What’s up, Gavin?
Gavin Kirkland: Well, it seems like a producer wants us to head straight to Gina Romano in the ring for something important! So, take it away, Gina!
( Gina Romano is standing in the middle of the ring to address the crowd. )
Gina Romano: Ladies and Gentlemen, please avert your attention to the jumbotron for a very special public service announcement… from the EAW CHAIRMAN AND ANSWERS CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, “THE GAWD”, MISTEEEEEEEERR DEEEEEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEE!!!!
( The ENTIRE audience pours out their hatred with thunderous boos, and on the titantron we see an overhead view of Mr. DEDEDE’s lush sweeping property in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic known as “The Ryan Adams Estate”. The estate consists of a breathtaking cluster of homes interconnected through transparent nature-decorated glass hallways, bridges, and pathways. We are given a frontal view of the home, with large gates preceding vast, lush green fields for a front yard. A massive fountain with a statue of the goddess Hecate stands at the center of the circular driveway. The camera transitions to DDD’s personal “Throne Room” office, where the entire backdrop is made of glass windows overlooking acres of green fields. DEDEDE turns around at his desk, eyes covered with shades, wearing his yet-to-be released Gawdzilla Pro© “Black Mass” tracksuit, with a smile brighter than the Hublot around his left hand. He lets out an exhale of smoke and puts down the cigar he had held up to his lips, and gives a low cackle while the fans continue to boo the hell out of him. )
Mr. DEDEDE: Good afternoon, to the members of the EAW Universe watching by the thousands in attendance and the millions worldwide. It is I, your champion, your DaddyGawd, your messiah, back on Showdown television after long last LIVE from the Ryan Adams Estate. Shhhshhh it’s okay. You can stop the sobs. Muffle your cries. Wipe those tears. Release all your fears. Daddy’s home. Been a busy and I mean busy past number of weeks, I got to tell you. Even for my standards. I have to emphasize that actually, for my standards. Understand, I am the most productive man alive. Every hour of every day pushes my agenda forward, even in my sleep, even as I eat, even as I make sweet love to my stunning hot wife, clapping those plump delicious cheeks and nutting all over her tight fucking body. While the rest of you nut all over yourselves to her pictures online. I’m more productive balls deep in my wifes pink little pussy than you are slaving away at another one of your 10 hour shifts. I know I know, “But Gawd!!! I HAVE been busy! It’s the holiday season and I spent all day shopping yesterday! I have a family to make happy!” Yeah you have a family to please by dumping your measley earnings to the same corporations you bitch about online, just to satiate your nagging spouse and your bratty little children for two days before it’s back to hating your guts again. How productive. Conned by the Jews yet again into dumping your resources out over electronics for a family that doesn’t respect you. How busy. Every Friday is Black Friday in the Adams household. It’s Christmas Eve every evening. Every week is Kwanzaa around these parts. It’s Hanukkah year round ’round here. My candles got 365 wicks on them bitches.
And the best part of all is I have the happiest most satisfied wife and children on earth. Even my extended family can’t complain even if I do admittedly talk to them like dogs, because I own them. Of course they answer to me. My businesses are booming. My merchandise flew off the shelves yesterday and I didn’t put a damned thing up for discount. Meanwhile I have been changing reality for thousands across this nation with my sold out critically acclaimed Gawdverbs LIVE!™ tour. Just had a fucking banger of a show in Fort Worth at the Texas Christian University. I’ve also been deep in the creative/editing/producing/marketing/negotiation process of the three-part HBO Special covering three of my Gawdverbs LIVE!™ events. I’ve just been on all cylinders really. But amazing isn’t it, amazing how the criticism for urchins continue as they clamor over some underachiever turned flavor of the month that I’m apparently supposed to acknowledge. Even as I just put down a relic from the past and silenced the yapping dog known as Amber Keys, expunging the liability she was to this company – it still wasn’t enough. One week later, and you’re already back for more. I put my physical well being at tremendous risk just to drive home the point of what happens when you trifle with Gawdzilla, and before Amber Keys’ blood that was shed even gets the chance to dry yet, “Ryan Adams is a coward!!!” “Ryan Adams is afraid of a 160 pound woman!” “#DDDFEARSHARLOW”!
Listen there are plenty of occasions where I will run in the opposite direction of a fat, mouthy slut, but the wrestling ring isn’t one of them. I understand the hefer earned some championship opportunity, and last week she issued a challenge to face me in an Extreme Rules match. I have been implored by the EAW Board of Directors to at the very least acknowledge and answer her challenge, however some uhh ‘things’ came up so I just couldn’t make it. And even if I could, does Harlow Reichert honestly – and I mean honestly believe that I would defend the most prestigious championship title on the planet in a frozen shitheap like Edmonton, Alberta, Canada? :mjlol:
( The Edmonton audience boos like hell. )
Mr. DEDEDE: You must be high. I’ve been inundated with the same stupid fucking questions over and over again, “when will you face Harlow?” “Are you going to defend against Harlow this week?” “Will you do it next week?” “The week after that?” “Will you allow Harlow into the Elimination Chamber?” All of this speculation over if and when I’ll give Harlow the match she supposedly deserves. Allow me to address it then, so that I can end all of the meaningless speculation. Will we see Mr. DEDEDE vs Harlow Reichert for the Answers World Championship? Will I defend my title against Harlow? Do you want to know my answer?
( DEDEDE leans in. )
Mr. DEDEDE: No.
( The crowd boos again, and DEDEDE sits back satisfied. The camera shows the audience booing and chanting “YOU SUCK!” It then heads backstage where Harlow Reichert can be seen watching the monitor in disgust, crossing her arms and appearing to be tomato red in the face. The screen returns back to just DEDEDE in his office again. )
Mr. DEDEDE: I will not grant Harlow Reichert an Answers World Championship match. Not tonight, not at Road to Redemption, not ever. Don’t get me wrong, Harlow isn’t a bad wrestler. Perhaps if I were still interested in proving my own merit in the ring, I would be interested in the so-called challenge. Not that it’d be even remotely challenging, but I digress. No, señor, Harlow Reichert isn’t getting an Answers World Championship because I am not interested in defending the Answers World Championship against Harlow Reichert. A match against her would be as redundant as it would be against the majority of this company. You want to know where I’ve been hustling wrong? I’ve been treating my valuable time like I’m not the greatest combat sports athlete to ever exist, period. I sat on a Cruise Ship for two days just to go out there and slap around Shaker Jones for a bunch of fans who spent 5-to-10 grand just to be there. There’s no justification behind Shaker Jones even breathing the same air as me, let alone sharing the same ring as me. The same could be said for Harlow Reichert.
Every second I spend in the ring with underlings is a detriment to humanity. My purpose is bigger than being the “best wrestler” or having the “highest workrate”. Suck my dick. I for all intents and purposes have the perfect wrestling career, which don’t get me wrong is far from being finished, but it needs to be stated. More MOTYs than some of you have had FPV matches. Put more asses in seats than you can even imagine. My legacy is literally flawless. Even my losses are flawless. I’ve shown more grit, more character, more determination in my losses and in rebounding from them than the vast majority of this fucking roster has shown in victories. Even in being so-called buried, even in my all time low moments, even in being eliminated from the Grand Rampage in 13 seconds, or losing to Justin Windgate in five minutes, or being forced to submit by the hands of a steel spike, I come out of the other end looking like a God. A lot of the so called top talent on this roster would be suicidal if they had to face even a quarter of what I have faced, yet I come out smelling like roses when all is said and done. Do you want to know why? Because I am wrestling’s Übermensch. I treat every setback like a set up. This is what I teach in my Gawdvers LIVE! sessions. Every setback is a set up to something far greater. Harlow Reichert believes just because she’s had to jerk a few curtains and jerk a Hall of Famer off to get him to train her means she knows what it’s like to suffer. No. She hasn’t, and until she understands how to persevere and overcome legitimate hardship, she will never be worthy to even sniff The Gawd’s jockstrap. That goes for every bottom rung LOSER of her ilk.
My valuable time does not belong overly compensating to prove what has already been established. I learned that lesson the hard way with Amber Keys, in the hellacious match that took place at Reasonable Doubt. I am not interested in being the best wrestler, that portrait has already been painted. I could give a damn about satisfying workrate marks, I’m too busy making my mark on the planet. I am not the Answers World Champion, I am the champion of all mankind. I don’t give a shit about being your favorite wrestler, I am only concerned with WINNING. I am not interested in being morally or politically correct, I am only interested in being VICTORIOUS. I do not wrestle to succeed in the wrestling business, because I don’t give a flying fuck about the wrestling business. I am only concerned with the Ryan Montgomery Adams business, and the wellbeing of all those who bear the same last name as I.
My priorities are family, bloodline, and the preservation of that bloodline may they be nourished by the works of my hand for the next millennia. Who gives a fuck what Mike Lanza or Brian Meltzer has to say about my Answers World Title reign. My reign as world champion has far more to do with being champion of the actual world, than being a wrasslin’ champion. But I do have a major announcement that will change the landscape of the entire world as we know it, so pay attention.
( DEDEDE adjusts his posture and removes his dark shades. )
Mr. DEDEDE: Next week, I will be defending the Answers World Championship live on Showdown.
( The crowd boos, pissed off that the title match isn’t happening in their hometown. )
Mr. DEDEDE: And it will be inside the EXTREME ELIMINATION CHAMBER!!!
Eve & Deadprez: WHAT?
Gavin Kirkland: NO WAY!!!
( Harlow Reichert can be seen storming away from the flatscreen monitor, having seen more than enough of this. The feed returns back to DDD at his desk. )
Mr. DEDEDE: That’s right. In preparation for Road to Redemption, I will be competing in the most physically demanding, most dangerous, most brutal, most savage structure in the history of Elite Answers Wrestling. I will also be defending my title against five of the most brutal, most dangerous individuals in the history of not only wrestling, but the planet. We will see men who have broken bones, destroyed lives, won championships, scarred the minds of men women and children everywhere. We will see fiends, predators and dare I say even terrorists line up in the ring to compete against The Gawd. And that takes place… NEXT WEEK on Saturday Night Showdown. I will prove why I am mankind’s greatest champion, why I am the modern day Marcus Aurelius, the Master Builder, Michelangelo in Michael Jordan’s body, Iron Man sitting on the Iron Throne, same Showdown time same Showdown channel. That’s God.
( DDD gets up from his seat and walks off, leaving behind a view of the Ryan Adams Estate through the background windows before the camera eventually fades to commercial. )
(Commercial break featuring Mr. DEDEDE defending the Answers World Championship against Showdown’s best Elitists inside an Extreme Elimination Chamber at Road to Redemption on the EAW Network!
Gina Romano: The OPENING CONTEST ON SHOWDOWN is a six-man tag team match and it is scheduled for ONE FALL!
(The crowd roars… ONE FALL!)
(“Love it Loud” by Kiss kicks off as the crowd cheers, the howling of a wolf sounds throughout the arena before Shaker Jones walks out, priming his mustache and beard wearing the 2019 Winnipeg Bombers Grey Cup Champions Jacket. Followed by Ryan Wilson who looks around at the crowd, “Prince” Dray Fontana after them. They all look around, focused on the ring, they make their way toward the apron, Shaker Jones interacts with fans, Dray Fontana keeps his eyes on the prize, Ryan Wilson takes the back-end smirking at the Canadian crowd.)
Gina Romano: Introducing Team number one, “THE CANADIAN WOLF” SHAKER JONES! “THE PRINCE” DRAY FONTANA! And “THE AGENT OF CHAOS” RYAN WILSON!!
(The crowd cheers as Shaker gets to the ring, he rolls in and stand in the middle, looking over at his tag team partners, Wilson and Fontana who are not as flashy. Wilson leans in the corner, Fontana presses his fist on his cheek and grunts. Shaker nods as the crowd roars.)
Deadprez: Big match to kick off Showdown here in Edmonton brah and we see Shaker Jones sporting his Winnipeg Bomber’s jacket, he is with Ryan Wilson, another fellow Canadian and the “Prince” Dray Fontana, I like this guy.
Eve: This is an awesome team but remember that Wilson is FRENCH CANADIAN, a little different and you can tell by his demeanor. We get to see Dray Fontana and this man is rough and mean.
Gavin Kirkland: Hockey is sooooo boring.
Eve: Don’t let the Canadian’s here you, eh?
Gavin Kirkland: Funny, what is that all aboot.
(As “Love it Loud” dies down, it is replaced by ‘Simon Says”‘ by DRAIN STH. The crowd boos as Frank Grayson comes walking out, he smirks and yells before making his way toward the ring. He is followed by the buff Ring Master who flexes his chest muscles and lastly, Rico Reeves walks out with his hands tucked in his jeans, looking around as the crowd roars.)
Gina Romano: Their opponents are the team of FRANK GRAYSON! THE RING MASTER! And “RETRO” RICO REEVES!
(As they make their way to the ring, Grayson slides in, climbing the second rope, followed by The Ring Master who flexes and last Rico Reeves walks up the steps and stands in the corner, looking thrilled. Their opponents stand in front of them ready to get this match started….)
Deadprez: Frank Grayson returns to EAW and he is also teaming with newcomers Rico Reeves and The Ringmaster. This Rico, he high, dawg?
Gavin Kirkland: I just don’t think he gives a damn, Prez. He’s the Millennials Champion!
Eve: The Ringmaster is a big and strong man, I see a lot coming from this man. As for Rico, yeah I don’t know but he seems very entertaining.
(The referee checks on both parties, and then calls for the bell)
(DING!!!! DING!!!! DING!!!)
(Grayson and Shaker looks to start things off, the crowd roars as the circle the ring and lock up.)
Deadprez: Shaker and Grayson lock up, Shaker with a quick hiptoss, Grayson lands on his feet, whipping Shaker into the corner, Shaker hangs on and brings Grayson into a quick powerslam! Shaker grabs Grayson by the hair before he can react, whips him against the ropes, goes for a backbody drop, NO! Small Package on Jones!
Deadprez: Jones quickly kicks out! Grayson with a side headlock, he is trying to stop Jones momentum, trying to get him into the corner but Jones with a huge backbody drop! I think he stunned Grayson!
Eve: That definitely slowed down the pace, wait, Jones grabs Frank by the ankle, he is dragging into the corner and TAGS in Dray Fontana! He holds one leg, Dray the other, WISHBONE!
Gavin Kirkland: OUCH!
Eve: Frank is going to be singing soprano for a while! Dray unloads a fury of kicks! He grabs Franks hand, what the hell is he doing, twisting it and is he going to break his fingers!?
Gavin Kirkland: WHAT THE HELL IS HE TRYING TO DO!? Wait! Here comes the Ringmaster! He grabs Dray, the two, start unloading left and right! They are giving frank a chance to tag, is he crawling to his corner! Dray gets the better of the Ringmaster but here comes Shaker! Wait the referee is trying to get him back, let them fight!
Eve: Grayson is in the corner; he tags Rico Reeves! Ringmaster grabs dray from behind, here comes Reeves and…… huh? He barely kicked him in the shin!
Deadprez: “That had like absolutely no juice to it! Wait, he is doing it again! On the other shin! Damn dawg this guy is lit! Wait…. He is backing up…wait wait….. a super shin kick! I think that fazed Dray! NO! HE JUST KICKED RICO AND THREW HIM RIGHT INTO RINGMASTER! PELE KICK ON RINGMASTER! ROUNDHOUSE KICK ON RICO! THEY BOTH ROLL OUT OF THE RING AND THE CANADIAN CROWD IS LOVING IT!
Eve: “They are regrouping and the referee is trying to get some order here. Dray is calling them to get back in the ring.
(The crowd cheers, Ringmaster and Grayson get back on the apron, Rico rolls in and stands there, for a second, tagging out to Ringmaster.)
Gavin Kirkland: Ringmaster is all power, a big three-hundred-pound man, Dray Fontana we have already seen just how vicious the Prince is, they lock back up, Ringmaster hoists up Dray! He slams him to the ground! The ring shook! He is running against the ropes, SPLASH! HE HOOKS THE LEG FOR THE COVER!
Deadprez: DRAY KICKS OUT! RINGMASTER IS ALL OVER HIM, PICKING UP DRAY INTO A BEARHUG! HE IS IN A LOT OF TROUBLE DAWG!
(Shaker Jones starts to clap as the crowd claps with him)
Eve: The fan are really into this match guys and Ringmaster has Dray in a lot of trouble but wait… he claps his hands on Ringmaster’s head! He run his bell! Ringmaster lets him go and Dray with a wicked European forearm! Ringmaster stumbles back and Dray tags Shaker Jones! Shaker Jones is in, he grabs the Ringmaster, GIVE EM’ THE BOOT! RINGMASTER IS DOWN! SHAKER GOES FOR THE COVER!
Deadprez: THE POWER OF RINGMASTER KICKING OUT LIKE THAT! SHAKER IS GETTING JIGGY WIT IT! THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS AS HE IS DANCING TO THE CROWD! HE WAITS FOR RINGMASTER TO GET UP…. HE PICKS THE BIG MAN UP FOR THE SHAKER MAKER! NO! GRAYSON FROM BEHIND CLIPPING THE LEG!
Eve: He took him down hard, Shaker maybe injured there! He is holding the leg, Ringmaster tags in Grayson! CRAVATE HOLD STF! GRAYSON HAS IT ON SHAKER AND… RYAN WILSON IN THE RING BREAKS IT UP WITH A KICK TO GRAYSON’S HEAD! WAIT A SECOND! ALL SIX MEN ARE NOW IN THE RING!
Gavin Kirkland: IT HAS COMPLETELY BROKEN DOWN! IT’S A DONNYBROOK! DRAY FONTANA AND RINGMASTER ARE BEATING THE HELL: OUT OF EACH OTHER! WILSON IS DRAGGING SHAKER THE CORNER WHILE RICO…. IS WELL…. DOING NOTHING!
Deadprez: GRAYSON IS ON HIS FEET! HE DIVES TO STOP WILSON BUT HE IS INTIME TO TAG IN! SHAKER TRIES TO GET UP! RINGMASTER IS PICKING UP DRAY FONTANA IN A GORILLA PRESS SLAM, NO SHAKER FROM BEHIND! DROPPING DRAY! SHAKER WITH A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX ON THE BIG MAN!
Deadprez: The referee is letting them fight dawg! Ringmaster is outta the ring, watch out, a Dropkick from behind by Rico reeves, sends Shaker to the floor next to Ringmaster! What is that fool doing!?
Gavin Kirkland: He has his hands in his pockets! HE IS RUNNING AGAINST THE ROPES… CORKSCREW PLANCHA ON SHAKER JONES AND RINGMASTER!
(The Crowd chants HOLLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!)
Gavin Kirkland: RICO JUST TOOK OUT HIMSELF, RINGMASTER AND SHAKER JONES! DRAY FONTANA IS IN THE RING! HE GRABS GRAYSON FROM BEHIND WHILE HE WAS STOMPING ON RYAN WILSON! THEY ARE THE TWO LEGAL WRESTLERS IN THE RING… BUT A HUGE ELBOW TO HIS FACE OF DRAY! FRANK IS TRYING TO LOCK HIM IN A FRONT FACELOCK, NO! DRAY TRAPPED HIS ARMS, REPEATED HEADBUTTS ON GRAYSON! HE LET’S GO AND QUICKLY RUNSD TO THE ROPES….
Deadprez: HE GOES FOR THE UXU! NO! GRAYSON DUCKS, THE MACDADDY CUTTER! HE PLANTED FONTANA DAWG! HE DOESN’T SEE RYAN WILSON! KICK IN THE GUT……OH MY GAWD! MIC DROP!
Eve: THE PACKAGE PILEDRIVER ON FRANK GRAYSON! HE DROPS DOWN FOR THE COVER!
(DING!!!! DING!!!! DING!!!!!)
Gina Romano: The winners of the match the team of RYAN WILSON! DRAY FONTANA AND SHAKERRRRRR JOOOONNNNEEEESSSS!
(‘My Way’ by Limp Bizkit starts to play throughout the arena as the referee raises Ryan Wilson’s arm. Dray Fontana gets back up on his feet, as Shaker rolls back inside high fiving the three, they all raise their hands in victory while Rico is sitting against the barricade and Ringmaster drags Grayson out of the ring and helps him to his feet….)
Eve: The referee lost total control of that match at the end but the two legal men were Ryan Wilson and Frank Grayson.
Gavin Kirkland: It was out of hand but a lot of action here in out opening match and we still have so much more, we have the Bozo’s Victims Unit! We have Candice Blair and the Steel Magnolia and we have my Goth Queen, Minerva, I think I have a hard on!
Eve: Really, Gavin!?
Deadprez: We are just getting started in Canada!
Gavin Kirkland: Eh!?
(Wilson, Jones and Fontana continue to celebrate as Ringmaster, Rico and Grayson being helped by the big man stare into the ring wanting the fight to continue as they back up the entranceway…)
(The camera fades into backstage was we see that charming smile from the Showdown General Manager, Jenny Punk.)
Jenny Punk: Hello, EAW Universe! It’s Jenny here and I hope that you’ve all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and got some Black Friday shopping done. Right here on Showdown, we’ve grown in anticipation as we are two weeks away from Road to Redemption. Our Showdown main event is set in stone as Mr. DEDEDE will be stepping into the Extreme Elimination Chamber and defending the Answers World Championship against five of Showdown’s best Elitists. Xander Payne, Mark Michaels, Jamie O’Hara, Cameron Ella Ava and the most important one in the match, Chris Elite, will be stepping into that same chamber for an opportunity to walk out as Answers World Champion.
Jenny Punk: This Road to Redemption has some of the most stacked chamber matches in recent memory and it’s going to be difficult to even to predict who will be the first Elitist eliminated in all of these matches. The Elitists that qualified for this match (this exempts Chris and DEDEDE) are automatically placed in the King of Elite Tournament and we’ll start tournament matches after Road to Redemption. Next week, we begin our qualifying matches and the winners will move on to participate in the tournament. The question on everyone’s minds are: what are those matches? Well, I am going to announce them right now. Next week, Lance Blackfyre will go one-on-one with…
… Shaker Jones!
(The crowd pops for that first announced match!)
Jenny Punk: This match up seems like an actual David versus Goliath and that is what should appeal to the EAW Universe. They see a bit of themselves in Shaker Jones — someone who works hard, but doesn’t get the results right away. However, he continues to put in the work in hopes of getting his moment one day. There’s no doubt that he will have people rooting for him to defeat the giant in Lance Blackfyre. The second match will be Shane Gates going one-on-one with…
… the undefeated “Prince” Dray Fontana!
(The crowd gives a mixed reception for Dray Fontana!)
Jenny Punk: These two Elitists are hard-hitting and will hold back nothing in this match. Dray has three matches on his belt and has managed to be a dominating force, but it should be interesting to see how Dray looks in the ring against a man like Shane who can be unpredictable and blunt. The third match will be Ryan Wilson who will go one-on-one with…
… Kensingten Calhoun-Astor!
(The crowd gives a negative reception at the mention of Kensingten Calhoun-Astor’s name!)
Jenny Punk: These are two Elitists who just want their opportunity and believe that they deserve a lot more than they have been getting. Ryan is someone who wants to face the best on this brand. Kensingten has an opportunity to shine during her match against Candice later tonight and if she manages to defeat her, she’ll be in great shape going against Ryan next week. Both Elitists are hungry and will stop at nothing until they get their moment. For the last match, Santo Muerte will go one-on-one against…
… The Ring Master!
(The crowd gives a mixed reception for The Ring Master!)
Jenny Punk: It’s one of the more interesting match ups, but The Ring Master was on the losing side of the six-man tag match, but he looks to be successful on this one-on-one match. He is one of Showdown’s newest Elitists, so there’s that element that we don’t know much of what he is capable of. Santo is someone who will look to bring the prestigious King of Elite crown to El Rey, but a victory over the Ring Master will suffice for the time being.
Jenny Punk: Well, there you have it! Next week’s edition of Showdown is going to leave us excited for Road to Redemption, but I’ll leave you guys to enjoy the rest of the show!
(The camera fades back to ringside.)
(“Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X plays through the speakers as the crowd boos. Lance Blackfyre walks out as an intimidating force. He has an emotionless look on his face. He doesn’t seem to be phased by the idea that Shane Gates will be doing commentary in this match.)
Gina Romano: THE FOLLOWING MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!!!!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!!
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST…FROM CHICAGO, ILLINOIS…WEIGHING IN 365 POUNDS… HE IS “THE OMEN OF DESTRUCTION” … LAAAAANNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEE BLLLLLLAAAACCCCCKKKKKKKFYYYYYRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Eve: Shane, you and Lance found yourself on the winning side of a tag team match against Shaker Jones and Ryan Wilson! After the match, we saw things get a little heated between you and Lance? What was up with that?
Shane Gates: Fuck this piece of shit. He thinks that he can hit on my wife and not suffer the consequences. There are many things that you should do with me and one of those things is flirt with my wife and make her uncomfortable. As a husband, I did what any other husband would do is show that buffoon who’s the boss around here. It’s me.
Gavin Kirkland: I get you. I defended Cleopatra’s honor at Pain for Pride. She still loss the match, but at least, I did what I always promised I would do. :wow:
(“Toxic Valentine” by All Time Low replaces “Old Town Road.” The crowd gives a mixed reception for the PURE Champion, Jake Smith, who walks out with the PURE Championship on his waist. Jake looks forward to adding another match in the win column. He plans to use this match as a way to send a message to his opponent at Road to Redemption.)
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING HIS OPPONENT…FROM VENICE, CALIFORNIA…WEIGHING IN 210 POUNDS… HE IS THE ELITE ANSWERS WRESTLING PURE CHAMPION… “THE MIGHTIEST ONE” … JAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEE SMMMMMMMIIIIIIIITTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Deadprez: It was announced by Jenny Punk earlier tonight that Jake Smith will be defending the PURE Championship against Harlow Reichert at Road to Redemption! By the looks of Harlow, she has a ton of fire in her due to what stress Mr. DEDEDE caused her these past few weeks. I think that Jake’s title reign will be in trouble!
Eve: Harlow Reichert wanted her shot at the Answers World Championship and DEDEDE said that he didn’t care about Harlow or see her as someone worthy to defend his title against. That must piss her off. There’s no doubt that Harlow is going into the match with something to prove at Road to Redemption!
Gavin Kirkland: Let’s not count out Jake Smith! The difference between him and Harlow is that Jake’s won a championship before. Jake knows the feeling of having to prove to himself and he may have all the tools to retain in two weeks!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Shane Gates: I don’t fucking like any of these guys, but I like to say that Jake Smith is the lesser of two evils at the moment! If he can roughen Lance and leave me to put the final nail in his coffin, that would be much appreciated!
Gavin Kirkland: The PURE Champion and The Omen of Destruction obviously have a size difference as they approach each other in the middle of the ring. Jake Smith has really, really, REALLY tried not to cheat on this run on Showdown, but with an opponent like Lance, Jake is going to need to look for ways to make sure that he comes out of this match in one piece.
Eve: Like or hate Jake, but Lance Blackfyre is going to pummel this guy. :lupe:
Deadprez: Hey now, let’s give Jake Smith a bit more credit than that. He defeated a former EAW Champion last week. If he somehow can do the one thing that not many men on Showdown are able to do and that’s defeat Lance Blackfyre, that would build him up going into Road to Redemption, where he’s vowed that the title will be defended there.
Shane Gates: Oh, we can make proclamations now? We can just do that and automatically get on the Road to Redemption card? Once again, I miss out on a FPV card — as of right now — but as long as Lance isn’t doing shit either, I guess, that makes me happy as well. It seems like Jake has grown a set of balls and shoved Lance before getting his set of trash talking in. Look, I don’t believe that Jake realizes who he’s stepping into the ring against, but Lance Blackfyre is no goof at all. He’s one of the biggest men on Showdown. Only if that translated down there. :wow:
Gavin Kirkland: Lance Blackfyre just shoved Jake Smith in return! In result, this knocks Jake over to the ropes and he doesn’t stay there for too long as he runs towards Lance with a running forearm, BUT LANCE MANAGES TO CATCH JAKE’S PUNCH BEFORE IT HAS ANY EFFECT ON HIM! JAKE IS LOOKING OVER AT HIS FIST, ALMOST IN DISBELIEF THAT LANCE WAS ABLE TO CATCH IT! I DON’T BELIEVE THAT WAS THE SMARTEST APPROACH WHEN FACING A MAN LIKE LANCE!
Eve: Lance Blackfyre gets Jake Smith by his fist before throwing him to the corner! The bigger man bolts forward and connects with a clothesline on the champion, but Jake manages to stand on top of the apron before kicking Lance in the face! Lance holds his face in response as Jake from the top rope — tornado DDT on Lance! But, look at this, guys! It only takes Lance down to his knees, but not for long! It doesn’t take a lot of time for Lance to recover before getting to a vertical base!
Deadprez: Before Lance Blackfyre is able to make it to his two feet, Jake Smith is able to connect with a basement dropkick, which gets the bigger man to his knees again! Jake pulls Lance closer before connecting with a DDT! For the first time in this match, Lance is down and Jake is in position for a cover!
Shane Gates: What the fuck? Lance just lift Jake Smith up and lifting him off of Lance. Honestly, I’m not shocked that Jake wasn’t able to put Lance down! At the end of the day, he’s no Shane Gates. Instead of wasting his time and being shocked, he decides to go towards Lance and punch the shit out of the guy! That’s smart of Jake to do. The best thing to do in the match is to keep a bigger man like Lance down. The moment he gets up to his feet, he’s fucked.
Gavin Kirkland: Wonderful analysis. :notbad: JAKE SMITH PULLS LANCE BLACKFYRE BY THAT HIDEOUS BEARD OF HIS BEFORE SLAPPING THE SHIT OUT OF THE GIANT! I DON’T BELIEVE THAT PISSING OFF SOMEONE LIKE LANCE IS THE SMARTEST THING TO DO IN THIS MATCH! WHEN LANCE IS AT HIS ANGRIEST, THAT’S WHEN HE’S AT HIS MOST AGGRESSIVE AND THAT DOES NO ONE IN HIS WAY GOOD! JAKE GETS LANCE BY HIS BEARD AGAIN AND SLAPS HIM AGAIN! Lance falls to his side as Jake takes a couple steps back before connecting with a big boot to an already kneeled Lance! This was enough to make Lance fall to his back before Jake gets the bigger man and applies a ground headlock. Jake is wrenching in that headlock as he manages to show off to the crowd, proving that he can take someone like Lance down!
Eve: Jake Smith is doing a great job at keeping a monster like Lance Blackfyre down, but he can’t let that cockiness consume him. That’s never turned out well in the past. But, he’s a man who isn’t too concerned about the past. He looks ahead and towards the future. Maybe, he’s learned from that, but so far, great job at keeping Lance down, which is a difficult task to do! Jake manages to get Lance’s shoulders down while applying the headlock! The official is going for the cover here!
Shane Gates: Nah, he’s not! Lance was actually not a fucking moron and saw that Jake wanted to do! He manages to get one of his shoulders up and stop a pin fall attempt from happening. Jake manages to get to one knee, as he maintains that headlock! I’m not sure about doing that. I believe it will be easier for Lance to get the upper hand on this match, but Jake needs for this match to continue in some way! I don’t blame the guy whatsoever.
Gavin Kirkland: Lance Blackfyre just shoved Jake Smith towards the ropes! Jake is grasping onto the ropes as Lance goes right after Jake with a giant big boot, but Jake pulls down the ropes as Lance gets his leg stuck the top rope! Jake takes advantage of the situation as he gets Lance by his other leg and throws him over the top rope! Lance goes tumbling down as Jake needs to utilize this opening to the best of his abilities! JAKE LOOKING OVER TO THE ROPES BEHIND HIM, NODDING! JAKE REBOUNDS FROM THE SET OF ROPES BEFORE LAUNCHING HIMSELF TOWARDS THE MIDDLE ROPE AND CONNECTING WITH A SUICIDE DIVE TO THE OUTSIDE!
(Lance Blackfyre crashes onto Shane Gates, who is on the announcer’s table. Sure, Lance was unable to stop himself and all his momentum went crashing onto Shane, but he doesn’t have much time to process as Jake Smith retrieves the bigger man. Shane is fuming as he’s doing everything in his power not to beat the shit out of The Omen of Destruction.)
Eve: Shane, are you alright?
Shane Gates: Lance Blackfyre is a fucking lucky guy that I’m not doing anything to retaliate at the moment. I mean, trying to start shit when he has a match to focus on?
Deadprez: I don’t think that was intentional, Shane. Lance just couldn’t stop himself from colliding with you. I know with the timing and his issues with you, it doesn’t look good at all, but it looks like an accident.
Shane Gates: What’s what he wants you to think, Deadprez, but I’m not buying the shit you’re trying to sell me.
Gavin Kirkland: Guys, can we not play conspiracy theorist at the moment and focus on this match on hand? LANCE BLACKFYRE AND JAKE SMITH ARE TRADING FOREARMS WITH ONE ANOTHER! THESE TWO MEN NOT HOLDING BACK AND DOING WHAT THEY NEED TO DO IN ORDER TO WIN THE MATCH! JAKE! LANCE! JAKE! LANCE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE!
Eve: OH MY GOD!!!! LANCE BLACKFYRE JUST KNOCKED JAKE SMITH TO THE AUDIENCE!!!! :damn: :damn: :damn:
Deadprez: :dahell: I THINK THAT JAKE SMITH IS DEAD AT THE MOMENT! HOW THE HELL DOES SOMEONE COME BACK FROM THAT! IT SEEMS LIKE LANCE BLACKFYRE IS GOING OVER THE BARRICADE TO RETRIEVE THE PURE CHAMPION, BUT WHERE IN THE HELL IS JAKE AT THE MOMENT?
(The camera finally finds Jake Smith down on the fifth row. Happily, the fans have wonderful reflexes and were able to move out of the way before EAW had a lawsuit in their hands. Jake ends up crashing onto a group of chairs.)
Shane Gates: Is he dead? Is the PURE Championship vacant? Can I get a title shot if Jake’s dead?
Deadprez: I don’t think it works like that, Shane.
Shane Gates: I thought we can make proclamations and we automatically get what we want. I mean, you have that one Aussie dropkick demand to be in the chamber match and he gets a qualifying match. You have Jake wanting to defend his title at Road to Redemption and he’s already announced for the event! How come when I do it, I don’t get what I want? I swear, it’s a conspiracy against me and no one wants to see Shane succeed on Showdown!
Gavin Kirkland: Shane, get yourself together. You were invited to do commentary because of your issues that have arose with Lance Blackfyre within the past few weeks. Not for you to be Shane Dawson and talk about conspiracies.
Shane Gates: Who in the fuck is Shane Dawson?
Eve: That’s not the point! Lance Blackfyre is able to retrieve Jake Smith and throw him over the barricade! Jake is finally at ringside as Lance rolls over the smaller guy back to the ring! Lance gets back inside the ring too before placing his foot on Jake’s chest and going for a pin fall attempt! I would be shocked if Jake manages to kick out of this one!
Referee: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Deadprez: JAKE SMITH KICKS OUT AT TWO! HOW IN THE HELL IS JAKE STILL ALIVE AND KICKING IN THIS MATCH? LANCE JUST THREW HIM IN THE AUDIENCE AND THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE END FOR THE CHAMPION! WITH THAT DEVIOUS LOOK ON LANCE’S EYES, IT SEEMS LIKE LANCE IS LOOKING TO END THIS MATCH RIGHT NOW. :LUPE: LANCE MANAGES TO TAKE A COUPLE STEPS BACK, HIS SIGHT NEVER LEAVING JAKE! LANCE IS STALKING JAKE UP TO HIS FEET BEFORE GETTING THE CHAMPION BY HIS THROAT! THE TITANIC PLUNGE ON THE PURE CHAMPION!
Shane Gates: NOPE! Jake manages to kick Lance on the stomach before delivering a basement dropkick as that takes Lance to his knees! Jake takes a couple steps back before running towards Lance and connecting with shining wizard!
Gavin Kirkland: Jake Smith calls that the “Head Decapitator” and it did it’s job by knocking Lance Blackfyre to his back! Jake goes for the cover! He’s looking to get a victory here!
Referee: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Eve: Lance Blackfyre manages to kick out! At the same time, he manages to knock Jake Smith off of him! The energy that Lance has left is insane and Jake should be wondering how in the world is he going to get Lance down? Is that even a possible concept on Showdown? Lance gets back to his feet, but Jake manages to run towards Lance before connecting with SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT — BOMAYE TO A KNEELING LANCE BLACKFYRE! JAKE STICKS HIS ARMS OUT IN CONFIDENCE! HE’S FEELING QUITE CONFIDENT THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE THE END OF LANCE, BUT JAKE’S BACK IS TURNED TO LANCE! LANCE IS SLOWLY GETTING BACK UP TO HIS FEET AND I DON’T BELIEVE THAT JAKE IS EVEN AWARE OF LANCE ALREADY UP TO HIS FEET! JAKE MANAGES TO TURN AROUND!
Deadprez: LANCE BLACKFYRE GETS JAKE SMITH BY HIS THROAT — TITANIC PLUNGE ON THE PURE CHAMPION! ONE HANDED CHOKE SLAM AND JAKE SMITH IS DOWN! JAKE IS GRASPING ONTO HIS THROAT AS LANCE GOES TO JAKE.
(A sound of a headset being taken off is heard. The camera pans to Shane Gates on top of the apron as he’s trying to get the referee’s attention.)
Gavin Kirkland: SHANE GATES IS ON THE APRON AS HE DOESN’T SEEM LIKE HE’S TRYING TO GET LANCE’S ATTENTION, BUT THE REFEREE’S! BY THE LOOK ON LANCE’S FACE, HE IS FUMING AT THE MOMENT! LANCE IS SHOUTING FOR THE OFFICIAL TO FOCUS ON HIS MATCH! LANCE COULD POTENTIALLY BE SECONDS AWAY FROM DEFEATING THE PURE CHAMPION! A VICTORY OVER THE CHAMPION COULD POSSIBLY PUT LANCE IN CONTENTION FOR A TITLE SHOT!
Eve: Now, I believe that Lance Blackfyre is oblivious to what’s going on behind him! It seems like Jake Smith has made it back to a vertical base! HE RUNS TOWARDS LANCE — LOW BLOW! LOW BLOW TO THE OMEN OF DESTRUCTION! LANCE GRABS HIS CROWN JEWELS BEFORE FALLING DOWN TO HIS KNEES! JAKE TAKES A COUPLE STEPS BACK BEFORE RUNNING TOWARDS LANCE AND CONNECTING WITH A HEAD DECAPITATOR! However, that doesn’t seem enough to knock Lance to his back! Jake manages to take a few steps back again before connecting with So Long and Good Night on the back of Lance’s skull! This time, you can see Lance moving around a bit! Shane Gates drops down from the apron and makes his way towards the ramp! Jake Smith rebounds from the ropes in front of Lance to connect with another So Long and Good Night! This knee was deadlier than the other ones! Lance falls forward as Jake sees that Lance is in perfect position for this finisher! We’ve barely seen this move, but it’s not going to be beneficial to Lance’s head whatsoever!
Deadprez: CRUSHCRUSHCRUSH — THREE STIFF STOMPS TO LANCE BLACKFYRE’S HEAD! JAKE SMITH GOES FOR THE COVER!
Referee: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Toxic Valentine” plays through the speakers as Jake Smith is on his knees with a proud look on his face. The referee gets Jake’s championship for him as he finds his way back to his feet.)
Gina Romano: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH… THE ELITE ANSWERS WRESTLING PURE CHAMPION… JAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEE SMMMMMMIIIIIIIITTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: Some can debate on whether this victory from Jake Smith was clean, but there’s no denying the fact that Shane Gates played a factor in providing an opening for Jake to capitalize and win this match!
Eve: Lance Blackfyre had Jake Smith laid out with the Titanic Plunge and it can be argued if Jake would have kicked out of the move or not, but Lance seems to be out of it at the moment with that crushcrushcrush. Three stiff stomps in the head could be enough to give the bigger man a concussion, but we’ll see how he’s holding up next week.
(Shane Gates is standing on top of the apron with a huge smug look on his face. He knows that he cost Lance Blackfyre this match and he feels damn proud about that. Lance is ringside as he seems to be out of it at the moment. A referee goes to help Lance back to his feet, but Lance shoves the official towards the barricade and helps himself to his feet. He has a death glare at Shane as the two men stare each other down.)
Deadprez: These issues between Lance and Shane progressed this week, but once again, Jake Smith is able to take advantage of the distraction and win the match! Things are shaping up well for him going into Road to Redemption.
(The last shot is of Jake Smith raising the PURE Championship high in the air.)
(The scene fades to backstage with Candice Blair stretching for her debut match against Kensingten Calhoun-Astor. The crowd in the arena is heard delivering a mixed reaction to her, but it seems like the boos may be overpowering the positive reactions. The youngest Ava sister isn’t showing her nerves out of the open. She looks confident and prepared going into this match. For someone who hasn’t performed in a one-on-one match in EAW yet, Candice feels that there’s so much of her that she needs to prove at the moment. She needs to prove that that she can stand toe-to-toe with someone who’s been in EAW longer than her like Kensingten and defeat her. Not only that, but send a message to Kensingten and the rest of the women in the Specialists Chamber Match.)
???: How are you holding up?
(Candice Blair stops her leg stretches before standing straight, turning around and looking at her older and established sister, Cameron Ella Ava. The crowd in the arena gives a large pop for The Goddess. Cameron is not booked for Showdown tonight, but she figured that she would be here as a support system for Candice going into this match. Sure, it’s a standard one-on-one, but it’s Candice’s first one in EAW.)
Candice Blair: Holding up fantastically. I wasn’t expecting to get placed in a match right away. I thought I was going to have to wait until Road to Redemption to get my hands on biscuit butt Kensingten, but I’m not complaining.
Cameron Ella Ava: Two weeks ago, if you were to tell me that you would be in EAW in any way, I would have looked at you funny, but it’s refreshing to see you around here. Even if it’s probably for a short period of time.
Candice Blair: Might be seeing me a bit more when I capture the Specialists Championship.
Cameron Ella Ava: Candice, you hate the idea of being tied down to shit. What happens if a champion is a part-timer? Have you thought that far? Is that even a concept in EAW?
Candice Blair: I guess, EAW will look forward to having me defend the title in one of the big five free-per-views. :wow:
Cameron Ella Ava: Hahaha, funny, but if there is anyone in the match — other than Darcy — that could walk out as Specialists Champion, it may be you.
Candice Blair: Cameron, honey, it is going to be me. Just like you’re going to walk out as Answers World Champion. If Camille qualifies for her chamber match, we’re all going to walk out with championships. I hope Consuela doesn’t cash in one one of us. :lupe:
Cameron Ella Ava: :lupe:
Candice Blair: I’m serious though. Road to Redemption is your day, Cameron. This is where you’re finally going to win that male World Championship, get that Triple Crown status and solidify yourself as an all-time great. You stand out from the competition and you will be seen as a threat.
Cameron Ella Ava: Do you know who I’m stepping into the chamber against?
Candice Blair: Oh please, they got nothing on you. You’ve made DEDEDE quit like a bitch at last year’s Road to Redemption. You and Jamie got your revenge on Xander at Midsummer Massacre. You were able to defeat Chris Elite in the past. Mark is Mark. Jamie though…that’s going to be tough. 😬
Cameron Ella Ava: I haven’t defeated Jamie at all. I know, how hungry he is to redeem himself for everything that’s gone on in the last year. He wants the same championship as me and it’s frightening to think about.
Candice Blair: You’re worried about your marriage being impacted by this match?
Cameron Ella Ava: No, I’m worried about how much of a cunt I will have to be to him in order to walk out as Answers World Champion.
Candice Blair: You can’t be a bigger cunt than Jamie O’Hara.
Cameron Ella Ava: I know, but I can’t really show any emotions stepping into a chamber match. I’m afraid I’m going to shut down that side of myself in order to get the job done.
Candice Blair: There’s a strategy going into these matches? I was just going to go in and be me. :lupe:
Cameron Ella Ava: You haven’t showed up for a week and I think you’ve rubbed a few people the wrong way. Do you think that showing up to the match with no game plan is going to work out for you? :lupe:
Candice Blair: That’s beside the point. Camille tells me to ignore the haters. Let them be your motivators. :wow:
Cameron Ella Ava: I’m just going to let you get in the right mindset for your match. We’ll talk after the show?
Candice Blair: Sounds like a plan.
Cameron Ella Ava: Knock them dead, Candice.
(With that piece of encouragement, Cameron Ella Ava leaves the camera shot and lets Candice Blair continuing her stretching.)
(The scene transitions to backstage with Kensingten Calhoun-Astor walking backstage. The crowd in the arena begins to boo at the Southern Belle. Since her match is up next, Kensingten is heading towards the guerrilla to wait. Kensingten has her head up high in confidence. She isn’t paying attention to anything on her sides and is focused on making the best impression she can. This is one of her first matches in the while where she feels like she has some fire within her. Kensingten is determined to prove that Candice Blair is not going to waltz into EAW and get a victory underneath her expense. Kensingten plans to put a stop to all of that fun while building up some momentum going into the Specialists Chamber Match in two weeks.)
???: May I have a word with you, Kensingten?
(Kensingten Calhoun-Astor stops walking as she seems disgusted by the woman standing next to her, wanting an interview. It’s none other than Showdown’s interviewer, Kyra Phillips in the Southern Belle’s presence.)
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: I really don’t want too, but it supposedly the season of giving. I guess, I could give you a small bit of my time, but make it quick. I’m a busy woman and I can’t waste my time talking to people like you.
Kyra Phillips: Last week, it was announced that you were partaking in the Specialists Chamber Match at Road to Redemption. However, you wouldn’t be the only woman on this brand. Candice Blair made her presence known and announced her partaking in that same match.
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: Oh yes, remind me that ANOTHER Ava decided to make her presence know and take the spotlight of a hardworking woman like myself. These Avas come into this company and take everything from us — our camera time, our championships and everything that could go hard working men and women like myself. Well, they are Mexican and they can’t help it. It’s embedded in their DNA. They can’t help, but be a bunch of spotlight hogs. They can’t help, but want to make things about them. I get the opportunity to cut a promo and announce my insertion in the Specialists Chamber Match and Miss Blair needed to make all of that about her. As I said last week, a lengthy Instagram post could have sufficed. It could have made the point short and sweet. A moment where I had the opportunity to get everyone to talk about me and instead of that, they’re talking about Miss Blair. That’s the hype in this match tonight. It’s Miss Blair’s debut match. They could care less about me. They could care less about the potential match which could steal the show and be a match of the week if it wanted too, but Candice Blair…
(Kensingten Calhoun-Astor stops talking as she seethes. There, you can sense the frustration from how she seethes. From the look on her face, you can see that she is trying to hold back from showing her actual frustrations. It wouldn’t be lady-like for her to show her frustration for the world to see.)
Kyra Phillips: What does winning this match mean to you? What’s your purpose for winning?
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: My purpose for winning? Not only to gain some momentum heading to Road to Redemption, but send a message to every single woman in that Specialists Chamber. There’s no doubt I don’t need Miss Blair to send a message to those nasty women. I can step inside that chamber and defeat each woman in a one-on-one match. However, this match will be nothing more than a wonderful display of what my competition can look forward too in two weeks. People may be hyping about this being Miss Blair’s debut, but I refuse to be overshadowed. I refuse to be casted to the side for these pretty playthings when Showdown and EAW has a real woman like myself to carry women’s wrestling on her back like the hardworking woman I am. Hard work pays off in the end. I could rely on my step-uncle John Conning to work his magic and make my situation on Showdown a lot easier, but where’s the handwork in that, Kyra? Where’s the feeling of satisfaction when I outlast all of these women, including Darcy May Morgan and lift that Specialists Championship above my head. Once I am a champion, there is no nasty that is going to take that away from me. There is no man and woman that is going to strip that amazing feat away from me.
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: Miss Blair and I may have our differences, but I’ll do what I am always known to do whenever blessed with an opportunity and that’s steal the show. It’s not just Kensingten Calhoun-Astor that needed Candice Blair to push and bring something out of her, but Candice needs me as well. There’s nothing to be ashamed about by admitting that. EVERYONE needs Kensingten Calhoun-Astor. Showdown needs me. EAW as a whole needs me. Miss Blair needs me to bring her down to earth and let her figure out what happens when she messes with a woman like myself. That’s exactly what I plan to do with this match. It was nice to chit-chat, but I got a match to win.
(Kensingten Calhoun-Astor nods her head and takes herself out of the scene. The camera fades to commercial break.)
(Commercial promoting Darcy May Morgan defending her Specialists Championship Match against five other women inside the Extreme Elimination Chamber Match!)
Gina Romano: The follow contest is a SPECIALISTS EXTREME ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH scheduled for ONE FALL!!!
( “Hell on Heels” by the Pistol Annies plays, and Kensingten Calhoun-Astor struts her way out to make her entrance with a cunning smirk on her face, showing all the confidence in the world. She is dressed to compete, and jeers from the audience slide ride off of her shoulders effortlessly. )
Gina Romano: Introducing first, from Savannah, Georgia, she is “The Steel Magnolia of Elite Answers Wrestling” … KKKEEEENNNSSSINGGGGTEEEEEEEEEENNNN CAALLLLHOOOOOOOOOOUN ASTTTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
Eve: Not sure how you gentlemen feel, but putting aside the cantankerous attitude and less than agreeable personality, Kensingten Calhoun-Astor has one of the intangibles necessary for coming out of a match like an Elimination Chamber with a victory. That of course being CONFIDENCE, that is going to be a MAJOR factor in deciding not just the Specialists Chamber, but all four Chambers come Road to Redemption!
Gavin Kirkland: If you’re asking for my pick as to who will come out of the Specialists Chamber on top, you’re looking right at her baby! Look at that back, those perfect fucking legs, that firm and sculpted body. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to have Kensingten Calhoun-Astor put on one of those white gloves and pump my lubed up dick into a shoot like a conveyor belt discharge spout.
Deadprez: It’s one of the interesting things about this sport, we are in a personality-driven artform but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter if you’re a meanspirited condescending witch like Kensingten, or otherwise. You can have a bad attitude and still have the right attitude for success, and I wouldn’t be a Showdown loyalist if I weren’t looking forward to her bringing the chip home to the blue brand.
Gavin Kirkland: No seriously, I would let Kensingten vice grip every inch and choke the life out of my benis if she wanted. She can even aggressively bark commands at me, spit on me, call me a dog, I don’t care! We can shoot our own femdom humiliation porno any time, I’m ready Kensi! My body’s ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eve: (annoyed) Gavin………………
Deadprez: Let it rock Eve, he’s been good this episode.
( “Diva” by Beyoncé hits, and the audience gives a significant ovation as Candice Blair walks out to the stage dressed to compete. She looks around at the sold out audience, acknowledging the bright lights of the EAW stage while still maintaining her poise. She walks to the ring with a purpose. )
Gina Romano: And her opponent, from San Francisco, California,“The Hot Commodity”, CAAANNDIIIIIIIIIIICEEEEE BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
Eve: Candice Blair making her EAW Showdown debut just weeks away from making her FPV debut inside the Extreme Elimination Chamber! The question on most people’s minds, including mine, however, is if Blair is biting off far more than she can chew? Could this be a case of “too much too soon”? As much as she’s accomplished across the planet, competing under the EAW spotlight is one thing, but she is practically making her EAW major stage debut in one of if not the most hellacious structures in the history of this business!
Gavin Kirkland: Look here’s the deal, Candice Blair is unbelievably hot.
Gavin Kirkland: Waaaay hotter than any of her sisters, which says a lot considering how much I love me some Cammy.
Gavin Kirkland: Seriously Candice is mouth wateringly gorgeous, like, she is too sexy to be wrestling. She should be on the cover of Esquire and Maxim on a monthly basis, HOWEVER, I am not rooting for her at Road to Redemption. She has no business winning that title or any other title in EAW just yet. We all know Avas aren’t exactly the best at determining their “priorities”, and the fact that Candice Blair refuses to stick with the big leagues bothers me! It’s all fine and good that she’s a free spirit and refuses to be caged, but dammit do we really need our Specialists Champion competing in bingo halls against some chinks on AXS television?! Or in the Ohio Valley tussling with coons?! I don’t think so.
Deadprez: Regardless of how Blair spends her time or navigates around her career, I do think she has at least one ace in the hole Eve, the fact that she’s an Ava. It’s something she tries not to coast off of or live by, but it is straight up in her blood. Wrestling is in the Ava DNA, it’s no different from the Manning brothers in Football or the Williams sisters in Tennis, or the Jacksons in music. We know Candice Blair is good, but these next few weeks we’re going to find out exactly how good she really is.
( DING! DING! DING! )
Eve: The bell sounds, Calhoun-Astor and Blair, two competitors who got acquainted with each other last week in a verbal back and forth lock horns here at the onset of this Extreme Elimination Chamber preview. A collar & elbow turns into a waistlock from Calhoun-Astor. Standing switch from Blair, wrist lock escape from Calhoun-Astor has the self-professed Steel Magnolia of EAW behind the youngest of the Ava clan. Calhoun-Astor with a mat slam, shoots the half! Blair rolls through it and the two are going at it on the mat! Blair snaps in a snug headlock, but Calhoun-Astor slings Blair right off of her! The two race to their feet – only for Calhoun-Astor to deliver a low shoulder tackle straight into the legs! That cuts Blair down, and there’s a THRUST KICK RIGHT TO THE RIBS OF BLAIR! Blair rolls away and scrambles back up to a knee, RUNNING KNEE FROM CALHOUN-ASTOR AGAINST THE FACE OF BLAIR!
Deadprez: Caught that! Blair catches the leg underneath her arm and stands up! Before firing with a KNEE TO THE FACE OF HER OWN! This brings Calhoun-Astor down onto her bottom, Blair rebounds off the ropes behind her, RUNNING KICK TO THE SPINE! THAT STRONG STYLE KICK HAS CALHOUN-ASTOR CLUTCHING HER BACK HURTIN’ FOR CERTAIN! Calhoun-Astor gets back up, fighting through the pain, and fires away with a forearm shot! Blocked by Blair! STIFF FOREARMS REPEATING IN A FLURRY AND IN A HURRY, ONE AFTER ANOTHER! Calhoun-Astor returns with a few closed fists to the ribs! But Blair fires with a left forearm! Rolling backhand! Ducked by Calhoun-Astor! Astor kicks her in the ribs! Rebounds off the ropes right behind her, but her running forearm smash is cut off with a bicycle knee to the oncoming forearm! And she gets the rolling backhand! OH! Blair with a knock down shoot kick to the thigh! AND THERE’S A KNOCKOUT LOW ROUNDHOUSE! Calhoun-Astor ducks it at the last second, and rolls away scrambling. Blair comes right after her, but Calhoun-Astor has made it to ringside!
( Candice Blair beckons Kensingten Calhoun-Astor to return into the ring. )
Gavin Kirkland: Blair putting up a fight, and she’s as feisty as she comes! Sending a kick through the ropes narrowly missing Kensi’s head! Kensingten returns into the ring after a little bit of deliberation. BLAIR CHARGES RIGHT AT HER! SLIDES BETWEEN HER LEGS! AND ATTEMPTS TO TAKE HER DOWN TO THE MAT AND ONTO HER SHOULDERS WITH THE O’CONNOR ROLL PIN!
Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEE!!!! TTTTTTWWWWWWWWW-
Eve: Calhoun-Astor not only escapes out of that, but she catches Blair at the same instance and is taking Blair for a ride with the Oklahoma roll! A very unique pin escape and transition, Blair is being turned completely topsy turvy, and Calhoun-Astor holds her down with a school girl roll up!
Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWWW-
Eve: Blair not only counters out of the roll up, but is LOOKING PERHAPS FOR AN AVA LOCK!!! AN ODE TO HER OLDER SISTER CAMERON, AND AN APPROPRIATE MOVE, WHAT A STORY IT’D TELL IF SHE WON HER FIRST SHOWDOWN MATCH WITH THE CROSSFACE MADE FAMOUS BY HER OLDER SISTER?
Gavin Kirkland: It’d sure be something! But life isn’t a storybook production Eve, and Kensingten proves that to be so, finding a way to escape out of the Ava Lock by getting enough leverage and stacking Blair onto her shoulders! The referee slides to the mat ready to count the pin, but Blair somehow uses her legs to bring Kensingten up and over with a MONKEY FLIP SMALL PACKAGE! IN ONE SMOOTH MOTION! REF QUICKLY CRAWLS OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE TO MAKE SURE KENSI’S SHOULDERS ARE ON THE MAT, WHICH THEY ARE!
Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEE!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWW-
Eve: KICK OUT! Blair and Calhoun-Astor race up from the mat, Calhoun-Astor sweeps the legs perhaps looking for the pinning bridge! But Blair drags herself as much as she can and ends up using her leg strength to send Calhoun-Astor off of her! BUT THE STEEL MAGNOLIA STICKS THE LANDING WITH AN IMPRESSIVE CARTWHEEL! FOLLOWED BY A LOW DROPKICK TO THE JAW! LATERAL PRESS!
Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEE!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Eve: Blair with the shoulder up! Kensingten Calhoun-Astor shoots the referee a bit of a dirty look, that was an impressive counter and transition offense from Calhoun-Astor. The Steel Magnolia yanks Blair up from the canvas by her locks, and has a few choice words to say to her opponent. The referee isn’t happy about the hair pulling, but Blair swipes away her opponent’s hand and lets off a couple of southpaw jabs! But Calhoun-Astor hits a STIFF CHOP RIGHT TO THE CHEST! She backs Blair into the ropes, sends her across the ring with an Irish whip, Blair counters the whip, ducks down to receive the oncoming Calhoun-Astor, but she instead responds with a sunset flip pin attempt!!! Blair rolls backwards out of that however and fires off with a LOW DROPKICK OF HER OWN! Blair jogs and hops over Calhoun-Astor while she’s planked on the mat, only to pick her up from the mat and PLANT HER RIGHT BACK DOWN ON THE BACK OF HER HEAD WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX PINNING BRIDGE!!!
Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEE!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOO
Deadprez: Kick out! Blair maintains a hold of her opponent, and she’s pulling her back up from the floor along with her. Calhoun-Astor sends back an elbow shot for Blair’s troubles! Blair stumbles away holding her jaw, that looks like it caught her off guard, and CALHOUN-ASTOR TAKES THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEND BLAIR INTO THE CORNER SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE RING POST!!!! BLAIR DROPS TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR LOOKING IN A BAD WAY!
Gavin Kirkland: Welcome to EAW Candy! Sorry sweet thang but the days of Puroresu dick measuring “I choppa you, you choppa me” days are over! In the Land of Elite people will use any opportunity they can to win and that damn sure doesn’t disclude the environment – especially not one as harsh as the Extreme Elimination Chamber!
Deadprez: And you can see Kensingten continue to make good of the opportunity she opened up for herself! She’s leaned over the ropes and is YANKING BLAIR UP BY THAT RIGHT ARM, STRETCHING OUT THE RIGHT SHOULDER SOCKET THAT JUST GOT SLAMMED INTO THE RINGPOST!
Ref: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FI-
( Kensingten Calhoun-Astor releases the arm of Candice Blair, allowing her to fall back down to ringside. She dusts off her hands, and shows off for the audience who respond with heavy boo birds. The official begins his count, but it is stopped after “2” as Kensingten follows Candice to the outside of the ring. )
Gavin Kirkland: Kensingten continuing where she left off now, sending a few stomps into the midsection of Blair! That’s got Blair backed against the barricade, and she attempts to fight back with some desperate southpaw jabs to the body, but Kensi fires back with a European uppercut! Kensingten certainly a woman proud of her European ancestry, the same of which can’t be said for the Canadian Cucks or in other words the Canucks that are booing her vociferously at ringside. Kensingten scoops Blair up in her arms, hoists her with that impressive farm girl strength, and DROPS HER WITH A MILITARY PRESS RELEASE, SENDING CANDY LANDING CHEST FIRST AGAINST THE BARRICADE! Kensingten scoops Blair back up from the floor! WOW!!! THROWING SCOOP POWERSLAM! THAT WAS ALMOST LIKE A SCOOP SLAM EXCEPT SHE TOSSED HER OPPONENT INSTEAD, AND CANDICE BLAIR ROLLS AROUND THE FLOOR AFTER HITTING THOSE THIN RINGSIDE FLOOR MATS SO AGGRESSIVELY!
Ref: Let’s take this back in the ring Kensingten! 1!!!! ……… 2!!!
Eve: Kensingten Calhoun-Astor is bringing the pain, and now she’s bringing this match back into the ring at the behest of the official, by up to the apron presumably to get her back in the ring. No appears as though I presumed wrong, instead she sends a headbutt into the skull of a weary Candice Blair, and she lifts her off of her feet until she leaves Blair sitting at the top turnbuckle! Blair catches Calhoun-Astor with a kick to the face, and attempts to re-adjust herself! But Calhoun-Astor charges right at her and begins firing away with an aggressive flurry of fists!!! That has Blair back to a seated, dazed position on the top rope. Calhoun-Astor springs over the ropes and delivers a RUNNING EUROPEAN UPPERCUT INTO THE SMALL OF BLAIR’S BACK! Candice Blair is now leaned back from the top rope in a tree-of-woe position! Calhoun-Astor backs all the way up to the opposite corner, and JOGS ACROSS THE RING! BARKIN’ UP THE WRONG TREE!!!! RUNNING KNEE TO THE INJURED RIGHT SHOULDER OF CANDICE BLAIR! AND FINISHES WITH A NECKBREAKER TAKING BLAIR OUT OF THE CORNER! HOOK OF BOTH LEGS!
Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEE!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOO!!!
Deadprez: KICK OUT AT TWO! Kensingten Calhoun-Astor smacks her hands against the mat out of frustration! And she’s letting the referee have it, but that’s just not what you want to do when you’re in the driver’s seat and these kids need to remember that before they start getting all flippant on the official who’s just doing his job! That ain’t gonna help you win a damn Extreme Elimination Chamber!
Eve: No, it won’t Prez, you’re absolutely right. But at least Calhoun-Astor has created enough of an advantage to where she can afford a moment or two, she has been performing extremely well so far and has picked her spots wisely, and she’s picking another great spot right now actually, clamping down on Blair with an armbar and creating even more discomfort to that right shoulder which just got slammed into the ring post. Candice Blair is being forced to prove her resilience, I had a feeling coming into this that with the skilled, tough, resilient competitor that Kensingten Calhoun-Astor is, we would learn a lot about the kind of competitor Candice Blair truly is. We’re going to see for ourselves how she handles pressure, because it is certainly being applied right here and right now. Blair is attempting to reposition herself which is precisely what Calhoun-Astor seemed to have saw coming because she does a bit of a leg trip takedown, now looking to ground that very same armbar. Calhoun-Astor transitions into a grounded hammerlock, and delivers a DOUBLE FOOT STOMP INTO THAT ARM AS IT’S TUCKED BEHIND THE BACK OF CANDICE BLAIR!!!! Blair rolls around in agony, and Calhoun-Astor rebounds off the ropes to clock her with a RUNNING EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!!!
Gavin Kirkland: KENSI IS CAPITALIZING ON THAT, BACKING UP TO THE MIDDLE TURNBUCKLE AND STANDING OVER HER OPPONENT! HEART OF DIXIE!!!!
Deadprez: NOBODY HOME! SHOOTING STAR KNEE DROP HITS CANVAS ONLY! AND KENSINGTEN IS FLOPPING AROUND LIKE A FISH, AFTER ESSENTIALLY CRACKING THAT KNEE BONE AGAINST THE UNFORGIVING CANVAS! THIS IS THE OPENING CANDICE BLAIR NEEDS!
Eve: And it’s exactly the opening Blair is going to take! Calhoun-Astor is dragging herself up to her feet, and before she knew it, she’s turned around! JAPANESE STYLE ARMDRAG! Calhoun-Astor hits the mat, hobbles back up, Blair takes her by the wrist and saunters over to the ropes to spring up to the middle rope! SPRINGBOARD ARMDRAG FROM BLAIR! Blair is on her back, still favoring her right shoulder… and PAINSTAKINGLY NIPS UP TO HER FEET! Receiving a round of applause from the audience, before charging over to Calhoun-Astor at the corner! AND A VICIOUS RUNNING METEORA TO THE FACE!!! FOLLOWS IT UP WITH A MONKEY FLIP OUT OF THE CORNER! AND A STANDING DOUBLE KNEES MOONSAULT STRAIGHT INTO THE MIDSECTION!!! COVER!
Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEE!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOO!!!
Gavin Kirkland: KENSINGTEN FIGHTS OUT OF IT! Calhoun-Astor sluggishly drags herself over to the ropes, only for Ava-I mean Blair-to follow her, and DAMN! JUST DRIVE UNRELENTING CTE INDUCING STOMPS TO THE BACK OF KENSI’S HEAD! That were sickening! And even the official has to get involved just to get her to relent! Kensingten Calhoun-Astor is using the middle rope just to muster up some semblance of a vertical base, and Candice stands over her with an angry look about her face, that Ava blood clearly boiling!
Candice Blair: (Off-mic) Now do you know who I am?!
Gavin Kirkland: BRUTAL!!!! KNIFE EDGE CHOP!!!! THAT MAY HAVE BEEN THE LOUDEST STRIKE I’VE HEARD OF THE EVENING!!! AND NOW BLAIR FIRES AWAY WITH KNEE STRIKES TO THE BODY! EACH BLOW IMPALING THE RIBS OF THE STEEL MAGNOLIA! AND BLAIR BACKPEDALS, STILL FAVORING HER SHOULDER, BEFORE SPRINTING FORWARD! DEAR GOD!!! SADISTIC BICYCLE KNEE CRACKING AGAINST THE FACE!!!! THAT JUST TURNED KENSINGTEN’S FACE INSIDE OUT!!! BLAIR DRAGS HER AWAY FROM THE ROPES AND MANAGES TO HOOK A LEG!
Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEE!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOO!!! THRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Deadprez: KICK OUT! Goodness, Ima be honest, I don’t know how Kensingten kept going after that.
Eve: I’m taken aback by that as well! That looked and sounded like a knockout blow, but apparently Calhoun-Astor had enough in the tank to keep pushing on – but at this point is it delaying the inevitable? Candice Blair has opted to head for the apron and climb slowly to the top turnbuckle all while keeping her opponent in her sights. Calhoun-Astors eyes perhaps tell the story, they’re all but glazed over and it is taking everything she has just to drag herself up from the mat…… MEANWHILE CANDICE BLAIR HAS LOCKED IN ON HER TARGET FROM ABOVE! SHE LEAPS OFF!!! SHE’S GOING FOR THE CANDY DESTROYER OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!! LEAPING CANADIAN DESTROYER TO PUT CALHOUN-ASTOR AWAY!!!
Deadprez: BUT MID CANADIAN DESTROYER, CALHOUN-ASTOR COUNTERS WITH A SITTING SPIKE DRIVER!!! DRILLING BLAIR AWKWARDLY ON THE INJURED RIGHT SHOULDER WHILE SHE’S UPSIDE DOWN!
Gavin Kirkland: INCREDIBLE, INCREDIBLE, INCREDIBLE COUNTER! AN ABSOLUTE BEAUTY! AND CANDICE BLAIR ROLLS AROUND CLUTCHING HER SHOULDER! KENSINGTEN CALHOUN-ASTOR LEANS AGAINST THE ROPES STILL DRAINED OF ENERGY, BUT AWARE OF THE CHANCE SHE NOW HAS! CANDICE BLAIR CAN BARELY RECUPERATE, THE REFEREE IS CHECKING ON HER OUT OF CONCERN FOR THAT RIGHT SHOULDER……. AND KENSI POUNCES ON HER LIKE A HUNGRY LION! ROLLING BODYSCISSORS TRANSITION INTO THE KIMURA LOCK!!! GIVING CANDICE BLAIR “SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT”!!!
Eve: KENSINGTEN REARING BACK AS FAR AS SHE CAN ON THAT KIMURA! BLAIR IS COMPLETELY TRAPPED, SHE HAS NOWHERE TO GO! SHE WAS CAUGHT BY THE WRONG MOVE AT THE WRONG TIME AT THE WRONG PLACE!
Deadprez: AND SHE HAS TO THINK ABOUT MORE THAN JUST THIS MATCH, SHE’S GOT AN EXTREME ELIMINATION CHAMBER TO THINK ABOUT IN TWO WEEKS!
Gavin Kirkland: KENSINGTEN IS DELIBERATELY TRYING TO RIP THE RIGHT SHOULDER OUT OF ITS SOCKET! CANDICE HAS NO REASON TO CONTINUE THIS, SHE HAS TO CALL IT RIGHT NOW!!!
( Candice Blair attempts to send a few jabs into the body with her free arm, but Kensingten Calhoun-Astor is hardly fazed. )
Eve: THAT’S IT! SHE TAPPED OUT!
( DING! DING! DING! )
( “Hell on Heels” by the Pistol Annies plays, and Kensingten Calhoun-Astor releases the Kimura Lock and is helped up from the mat by the official. She has her hand raised, and kicks back her feet to pantomime “kicking dirt” over her fallen opponent. The official then checks on Candice Blair who is favoring her dislocated shoulder. )
Gina Romano: Here is your winner… KKKENSINGTEN CALHOUN-ASTOR!!!
Eve: Candice Blair is an experienced and dare I say seasoned competitor who has competed around the planet, and Kensingten Calhoun-Astor just scored an impressive and much needed victory to garner some serious momentum heading into the Extreme Elimination Chamber!
Gavin Kirkland: Such a bittersweet feeling! Granted, my faith in Kensi has been affirmed by her wonderful performance this evening, but just look at Candice! It hurts just seeing a woman that beautiful suffer! That is a woman simply too gorgeous to ever experience pain! She should only have to experience the maximum pleasure that my penis and only my penis can bring her.
Deadprez: Nah, I can’t take a damn thing away from Kensingten, I can’t say she was perfect but she got the job done tonight against an Ava. It’ll be interesting to see how Candice bounces back from this in time for the chamber, she is walking into there at a disadvantage momentum wise and it isn’t like an Ava to flounder when under pressure.
Eve: I concur, in that household pressure often equates to diamonds. Candice shouldn’t feel too bad about this loss, it was the right call to submit and save something of herself for the Extreme Elimination Chamber. She may not walk into it 100 percent, but at least she’ll be walking into it a two armed woman.
Deadprez: Besides, it isn’t like her older sisters had the easiest beginnings in this company either. Cameron had to fight her way up from borderline valet status, Consuela had to fight to get up from under the shadow of her older sister, and Camille had to fight to so much as even get cleared to compete by the EAW doctors. It would not shock me of Candice pulled out a big performance at Road to Redemption. Do not sleep on that woman.
( Kensingten continues to celebrate on the ramp while a ringside doctor and the referee are addressing Candice’s injured right shoulder, urging her to get an evaluation on it. )
( Camera opens up to a backstage dressing room, and we see Harlow Reichert furiously gathering her belongings and stuffing them into her suitcase. She is consumed by frustration, appearing all out of options, and she continues to mutter under her breath while stuffing her ring tights in her luggage case on top of the rest of her belongings. She zips it shut, and then grabs her coat to put it on. Jenny Punk walks into the dressing room with a concerned look on her face, and Harlow grabs her baseball cap to put it over her head before turning around and seeing Jenny standing before her. )
Jenny Punk: (softly) Hey Harlow… where are you headed?
Harlow Reichert: Literally anywhere but here.
( Harlow reaches back to grabs her backpack from one of the shelves behind her, and all of the contents in it spill out to the floor. Harlow lets out a frustrated growl, and Jenny joins Harlow in picking up her belongings. )
Harlow Reichert: It’s fine, I got it.
( Jenny ignores Harlow’s protests while diligently helping to pick up her belongings, and when finished she hands several items back to the incensed redhead. Harlow snatches the belongings out of Jenny’s hand and stuffs her credit and debit cards, license, passport and misc items back into her backpack before zipping it shut. )
Jenny Punk: Look, I know I’m not the perfect boss and it probably means nothing.. but I’m sorry.
Harlow Reichert: Thanks. That means less than nothing.
( Harlow turns to leave, but Jenny’s words stop her. )
Jenny Punk: You know if there were any way I could help you in this I could. But unfortunately my hands are tied. That’s just the one person I’m not able to overstep.
( Harlow turns back to face Jenny. )
Harlow Reichert: You know, I was once cut off by my parents and kicked out of their home and left to fend for myself with no real actual skills to try and support myself. And to tell you the truth? I was a hell of a lot more happier freeloading off friends and acquaintances than I am being a paid employee of this company. This is complete bullshit and as calm as I try and be, and as positive as I try and stay, I see why people are so fucking angry around here all the time. I’m pissed and I don’t feel respected at all.
Jenny Punk: That’s the last thing I want you to feel.
Harlow Reichert: Well, that’s tough, because that’s where I’m at right now. So I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do, I’m going to fly down to EAW’s corporate office in Toronto, I’m going to pay Sarah Vaughn a little visit, and I’m going to make sure I get the fuck off of this brand.
Jenny Punk: Harlow…
Harlow Reichert: No, that’s what’s going to happen. And people wonder why this place is burning through talents. If this is all that there is for me here on Showdown, then I’m done here. I know I won’t be dealing with the same crap over on Dynasty, Starr would have moved heaven and earth to make sure I got my singles match regardless of who the champion is. And Charlie Marr may be a human compost bin, but I know at the very least he’s not going to back down from fighting me. I’ll do whatever I have to to have the World Title shot that I earned, regardless of what brand it’s on.
Jenny Punk: Harlow believe me I tried the best I could. This brand isn’t the problem, I didn’t want this for you, if anything the opposite. Listen I’ll take full responsibility alright? It was my idea in the first place to set this title match up. I could have handled it better, I could have gotten DDD on board before I came up with the contendership match in the first place. But I’m not giving up on your title opportunity by a long shot.
Harlow Reichert: You heard the man out there. He’s not interested in defending the title against me, you just said he’s the one guy whose head you can’t go over.
Jenny Punk: Yeah I heard what he said, he said he isn’t interested in Mr. DEDEDE vs Harlow Reichert for the Answers World Championship. But he also fully intends to compete in the Extreme Elimination Chamber to defend that very same title at Road to Redemption. I may not be able to force him to face you one on one but I can easily place you in the Elimination Chamber and have you as one of the starting participants!
Harlow Reichert: Why so he can decide all of a sudden that he’s not interested in Elimination Chamber matches and back out at the last second? The man cancelled our Extreme Rules match on Thanksgiving, Jenny, THANKSGIVING.
Jenny Punk: I promise you he won’t care, he’ll probably make sure he’s the last person to leave a chamber pod anyways, knowing him. If he’s willing to defend the title in the same match as someone like Cameron Ella Ava, a sworn enemy of his, then I’m positive you aren’t going to be the deal breaker.
Harlow Reichert: No, sorry.
Jenny Punk: What do you mean no?
Harlow Reichert: “No”, as in, no. I’m not doing it. I’m so done with these multi person clusterfuck matches, I’ve honestly had it up to here with them. I’ve tolerated them for long enough and I’ve won two of your gimmicky nonsense multi-person this season alone, one for a fucking Olive Garden coupon mind you, just to end up right back where I started. I don’t care for the Extreme Elimination Chamber match, I think it’s antiquated glorified deathmatch trash. Even if I were to take you up on your offer there’s still a good chance that I leave that chamber as the Answers World Champion without being the one to beat the champion, and I can’t accept that. I can’t stand the concept of losing a match without taking the loss, which is why I don’t care for multi person matches, and I damn sure cannot settle for the idea of winning a championship without beating the champion. I earned a ONE ON ONE shot at the title, and I can’t accept anything less than that. Maybe the old Harlow would have found a way to grin and bear it, but not anymore.
Jenny Punk: It still feels like you’re looking a gift horse in the mouth, but fine…… then what about Jake Smith?
Harlow Reichert: What about him?
Jenny Punk: He doesn’t have a suitor for the PURE Championship, hell he doesn’t even have a match scheduled for Road to Redemption. Why don’t I give you an opportunity against him?
( Some members of the crowd can be heard cheering in the background, supportive of the idea. Harlow, although, appears to be less than pleased. )
Harlow Reichert: No. I can’t accept that.
Jenny Punk: Come on.
Harlow Reichert: Jenny, I earned a shot at the Answers World Championship. I know you and I aren’t close friends or anything so there’s probably a lot you still don’t know about me, but I used to be the type of person to “go with the flow” and take whatever terms and conditions that are handed to me and try to make them work because I really just didn’t give a fuck. Even when they’re changed on the fly, I still tried to make the most of a bad situation. The fact is I’ve worked too damn hard and sacrificed too damn much to let that fly now. I know how good I am, and I know that I deserve way better than what I’ve gotten. It would send an awful message, and it would go against everything I represent.
Jenny Punk: I understand that Harlow… but I also understand, the PURE Championship embodies everything that you represent.
Harlow Reichert: (huff) Jenny…
Jenny Punk: You know it’s true. Hear me out. The PURE Championship is a title that’s in a league of its own, it gives the entire brand of Showdown a much needed distinction from the rest of this company. Jake Smith has been a hell of a representative for that title, but you could take it to the next level. And this is no form of pandering or blowing smoke, I seriously mean it. Jake is every bit the competitor you want to face and more importantly defeat, and the PURE Title is every bit the championship you want to hold. It exemplifies excellence in the wrestling ring. Like you said, nothing is stopping the Answers World Championship from being put up for grabs in the most chaotic environments. If you became Answers World Champion, nothing is stopping Chris Elite from Gawd Contracting you into a 5 on 1 handicap match against him and the BVU for it. Nothing is stopping DDD from forcing you to defend that title in a Barbedwire Ropes Inferno Match or whatever the hell he manages to think of. But do you want to know what champion they CAN’T do that to? At least not without an insane amount of pushback from the board? You guessed it, the PURE Championship.
( Harlow is letting it sink in. )
Jenny Punk: Face it, the PURE Championship would represent you as well as you represent it. I’m not going to lie to you, Jake Smith is a lot to handle in terms of an opponent. I can’t promise you it’d be easy.
Harlow Reichert: I’m not in it for “easy”.
Jenny Punk: I know, I’m just saying, Jake Smith is actually really good. He’s even better than I thought.
Harlow Reichert: He isn’t better than me. No matter how much he tries to convince himself.
Jenny Punk: And he has the right to think as he pleases, he is the champion. Until someone can take that title off of his hands, he’s got bragging rights over just about everyone over the roster. For all intents and purposes he is the most elite, most proficient and most technically sound wrestler in the entire company. And as long as that title is around his waist, he is completely validated.
Harlow Reichert: Alright alright. Spare me the Jedi mind tricks attempt, I don’t need to be “sold” on anything. I know how Jake Smith thinks, and I know the level of meaning that the PURE Championship entails.
Jenny Punk: I promise you the last thing I’m trying to do is manipulate you. If you truly want to walk away from this brand and look for a shot at the other three World Titles, then by all means. But just know if you do walk away, you’re leaving Showdown with an unwritten chapter, with nothing to show for but multi man victories that led to dead ends on both occasions. You owe it to yourself to redeem your loss at Territorial Invasion – especially since I KNOW you’re better than Mark Michaels. You would be a better champion than he ever was. You could even end up being the best champion this title has ever had. But just know, if you leave, you’ll never have a chance to prove it.
( Harlow deliberates over this for a brief moment. )
Harlow Reichert: Fine.
( The crowd can be heard cheering in the background, excited not only that Harlow is staying on Showdown, but that they are going to see Harlow challenge Jake Smith in a potential classic match. Jenny can barely contain her excitement. )
Jenny Punk: Really?! You’re in???
Harlow Reichert: As far as I’m concerned, that PURE Championship is my championship. If Mr. DEDEDE doesn’t have the balls to confront his fears and defend his championship against me, I’ll just win the so-called “secondary” title and elevate to a level way above even his wildest dreams. Until he’s the one begging to compete in matches against me. I’ll be the biggest blow to his inferiority complex that the world has ever seen, and that starts by knocking off Jake Smith and winning the title I should have won at Territorial Invasion. Now if you’ll excuse me.
( Harlow turns around and wheels her suitcase behind her, leaving Jenny standing behind smiling, proud of herself for managing to reason with Harlow and keep one of her talents on board. )
(Commercial for a replay of Voltage’s Wicked Games on the EAW Network!)
(Showdown returns from commercial break as “War” Dance With The Dead plays through the speakers. The crowd gives a negative reception to The Saint of Death, Santo Muerte, who comes out from the back with a focused and deadly look on his face. He scouts the sea of EAW fans in the arena before making his way to the ring.)
Gina Romano: THE FOLLOWING MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!!!!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!!!
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST…FROM DEATH VALLEY, CALIFORNIA…WEIGHING IN 200 POUNDS…HE IS “THE SAINT OF DEATH” … SAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUUUUEEEEEERRRRRRRTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: Santo Muerte hasn’t had the best couple weeks. Lost at Reasonable Doubt and lost a chance to participate in the Extreme Elimination Chamber Match at Road to Redemption! However, it seems like it wasn’t enough to strain his loyalty for El Rey. Defeating a man like Xander Payne would be amazing for Santo Muerte!
Gavin Kirkland: Santo Muerte has all the tools to succeed on Showdown and be a future champion. He’s been in matches where he should have won, but he found himself being screwed of this said opportunities. Santo is going to need to be more harsh going forward if he wants to get things in the right direction! He is in no mood to play games.
Eve: His opponent as of late isn’t in the mood to play any games as well. This is what is going to make this match up so interesting! Both men are aggressive and hard-hitting! It may be one of those matches tonight!
(“War” dies down as “It Follows” by Cane Hill replaces Santo Muerte’s entrance music. The crowd’s booing becomes louder as there is not one single person that likes the sight of Xander Payne. Xander has gotten rid of three men from the Showdown scene in the past few months and he looks to add Santo to that list.)
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING HIS OPPONENT…FROM BRAMPTON, ONTARIO, CANADA…WEIGHING 255 POUNDS… HE IS “THE PAYNEKILLER”…XAAAAANNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR PAAAAAYYYYYYYNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: Still doesn’t seem right.
Eve: I swear, this is the running gag with you every week. 😒
Gavin Kirkland: Fine, I’ll cut back on the jokes…this week. I’m still in a good mood from Thanksgiving and feel good about my chances of getting Cleopatra underneath the mistletoe this year. With Xander, he wished that things could have went his way in his chamber preview match last week, but at least he can say that he wasn’t the one to eat the cover and there’s no doubt that he can destroy every man and woman in that match without breaking a sweat.
Deadprez: I feel like Xander could be one in the match that surprises us. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s caused destruction in the match and there’s no knowing what he is capable of inside that structure. It may pan in his favor!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: XANDER PAYNE VERSUS SANTO MUERTE IS UNDERWAY!
Eve: This is an interesting match up, ladies and gentlemen! Xander is looking to build momentum heading towards Road to Redemption! Santo is looking to rebuild himself after the loss at Reasonable Doubt as well as the loss to Mark Michaels two weeks ago! Both competitors could utilize this win! Could you imagine if Santo managed to defeat the man who’s put the likes of Darkane, Myles and Lucas Johnson on the shelf?
Gavin Kirkland: Come on, Eve. If there is anyone that can match Xander’s aggression in the ring, it has to be Santo Muerte. There’s a lot of fire within Santo and these losses piling up are just going to build him up to be an indestructible force going forward on Showdown. Personally, I think Xander has been a little too confident for himself and he needs someone like Santo to bring him back down to earth.
Deadprez: Santo Muerte is looking to begin with match with a test of strength! Xander Payne has a fifty-five pound advantage over his opponent, but Xander is certainly not going to shy away from the fight as he accepts that test of strength! THE TWO ELITISTS ARE PUSHING AGAINST EACH OTHER, TRYING TO KNOCK THE OTHER OVER! IT SEEMS LIKE SANTO IS LOOKING TO LOSE THE BATTLE — WAIT, SANTO IS STANDING HIS GROUND AS HE’S REFUSING TO FALL!
Eve: Xander Payne shoves Santo Muerte to the ground, but Santo manages to roll himself to one knee before looking at Xander dead in the eye! Santo is not planning to stay down for long as he launches forward to deliver a forearm towards Xander, BUT XANDER MANAGES TO DUCK THE FOREARM BEFORE LAUNCHING HIMSELF TOWARDS THE HORIZONTAL ROPES! XANDER WITH A CLOTHESLINE! NO! SANTO MANAGES TO CATCH XANDER BEFORE CONNECTING WITH AN STO! SANTO GOES FOR THE COVER THERE!!
Gavin Kirkland: Xander manages to kick out of the pin fall attempt! Xander rolls himself back up to a vertical base! Santo is back to his feet as well as Xander goes after The Saint of Death, BUT SANTO MANAGES TO CONNECT WITH AN ARM DRAG ON THE FORMER NEW BREED CHAMPION! HE HAS POSITION OF XANDER’S RIGHT ARM! IS SANTO GOING TO CONNECT WITH THE OFFERING AT THIS MOMENT?!?!
Deadprez: Not quite, Gavin! Xander Payne manages to get out of the position for The Offering! That move has injured the arms of various opponents from Santo Muerte! Santo getting a victory over a man like Xander would be something worthy to bring back to El Rey! Santo is gesturing for Xander to give it his best shot! Santo is not backing down from a fight and Xander has no other choice not to bring his best into this match! The two Elitists get back to their feet as Xander goes right after Santo, BUT SANTO MANAGES TO KNEE THE PAYNEKILLER IN THE GUT! SANTO WITH A PUNCH TO XANDER’S BACK, TRYING TO KNOCK DOWN THE BIGGER MAN OUT OF THE STANDING POSITION! SANTO DELIVERS ANOTHER PUNCH TO XANDER’S BACK BEFORE TAKING A FEW STEPS BACK AND CONNECTING WITH A BASEMENT DROPKICK! XANDER IS LAYING ON HIS BACK, BUT SANTO GOES RIGHT AFTER HIM WITH SOME FOREARMS TO XANDER’S FACE! XANDER IS TRYING TO BLOCK EACH SHOT, BUT SANTO BEGINS TO NAIL SOME SHARP ELBOW’S TO XANDER’S FACE!
Eve: The referee is needing to back away Santo Muerte from Xander Payne! It seemed like Santo was in a bit of a trance. He was so determined to make a statement to Xander, I believe he would have gotten himself disqualified in order to get the job done! The referee manages to separate Santo for Xander. It’s been quite a while since we’ve seen Xander be taking down like that! Santo doesn’t even wait for Xander to get back to his feet! Santo goes right after the former New Breed Champion with a penalty kick! Once again, Santo Muerte begins to throw some nasty looking elbow strikes to Xander! Somehow, Xander is managing to get back to his feet —
Gavin Kirkland: — XANDER PAYNE JUST TACKLED SANTO MUERTE TO THE GROUND! IT’S NOW XANDER’S TURN TO DELIVER AS MUCH PUNCHES AS POSSIBLE TO THE SAINT OF DEATH! XANDER IS NOT BACKING DOWN AT ALL! XANDER REFUSING TO LET SANTO TAKE CONTROL OF THIS MATCH! Xander is back to his feet as he grabs Santo by the mask, but Santo’s mask is staying in tact! Xander nails Santo in the gut with a knee before getting him by the head and throwing him against the corner! Xander begins to stomp on Santo’s stomach! Santo is trying to block each shot, but Xander is doing an efficient job with getting Santo to collapse to a seated position at the corner! Santo doesn’t seem like he’s responding! Xander takes a couple steps back before running towards the corner!
Deadprez: CANNONBALL SENTON!!!!
Eve: THE CANNONBALL SENTON ON SANTO MUERTE!
Gavin Kirkland: HOLD THAT THOUGHT, EVE! SANTO MUERTE IS DISPLAYING THAT STRENGTH! HE HAS XANDER PAYNE IN POSITION!!! THIS IS SANTO’S VERY OWN VERSION OF THE PACKAGE PILEDRIVER! HE CALLS THAT THE FINAL BREATH!!!
Deadprez: Xander is making it quite difficult for Santo to connect with The Final Breath! Xander manages to get his legs down before getting Santo by his legs and gets Santo on his back! Xander manages to Santo in position before connecting with kneeling belly-to-back piledriver! What an amazing cover!!! Xander stays there for the cover!!
Referee: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOO—
Eve: Santo Muerte manages to get out of the pin attempt! That was an amazing move from Xander Payne as he doesn’t take much time to process what is going on! He is determined to win this match and build up his moment going into Road to Redemption! XANDER GETS SANTO TO HIS FEET! SANTO IS FEELING A BIT WOBBLY AT THE MOMENT, BUT XANDER GETS SANTO BY THE ARM BEFORE PUSHING HIM TOWARDS THE ROPES! LAST SEDATION! POP-UP POWERBOMB, ALREADY?
Gavin Kirkland: No! Santo Muerte is able to jump away from Xander Payne and prevent the move from connecting! Santo charges forward by connecting with a punch, which staggers Xander back! Xander rushes forward in order to deliver a punch to Santo back, but Santo manages to duck the punch! He manages to get behind Xander before getting his arms around The Paynekiller’s waist and throwing him over his head with a German suplex! Xander manages to catch himself from the German and Santo turns around! Xander rushes forward with a powerful clothesline, BUT SANTO MANAGES TO GET XANDER OFF HIS FEET BEFORE SUPLEXING HIM OUT OF THE RING! LOOK AT THIS THOUGH! XANDER MANAGES TO STAY ON THE APRON AS SANTO MUERTE RUSHES TO KNOCK XANDER OFF THE APRON, BUT XANDER CONNECTS WITH A STUNNER THAT STAGGERS SANTO BACK! XANDER DROPS DOWN FROM THE APRON AS HE WAITS FOR THE PERFECT TIME TO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF THIS MATCH!
Deadprez: Santo Muerte takes a moment to process before looking at the set of ropes behind him! Santo rebounds off those ropes before launching himself through the middle rope and with a suicide dive to the outside! Xander manages to shift Santo’s weight and throws him towards the —
(At that moment, Deadprez is knocked over by the force of Santo Muerte! Eve and Gavin Kirkland manages to take a step back as they let Xander retrieve Santo!)
Eve: XANDER USED ALL OF SANTO’S MOMENTUM AND MADE HIM CRASH TO DEADPREZ OVER THERE. ARE YOU ALRIGHT, DEADPREZ?
(Deadprez gets his headset back on.)
Deadprez: I’m good, but that’s the beauty of being a commentator. You never know when you’ll make yourself part of the action. :wow:
Gavin Kirkland: Xander Payne has Santo Muerte up to his feet before battery racing his against the edge of the apron! The look on Santo’s face tells the entire story! XANDER GETS SANTO BEFORE BATTERY RAMMING HIM AGAINST THE POLE! XANDER GETS A GOOD GRASP ON SANTO BEFORE THROWING HIM BACK FIRST AGAINST THE STEEL STEPS! Santo collapses to his knees as it seems like the official is being quite flexible in this match! He’s letting the two Elitists just do whatever they need to do outside of the ring before resuming the action inside the ring! Xander takes a couple steps back. Oh no, this can’t be good. :lupe:
Deadprez: Xander Payne rushes forward before connecting with a boot to the skull of Santo Muerte! Santo’s head collides with those steel steps! Santo seems out of it for sure. Xander gets Santo back to his feet before getting him by his arm! Santo seems groggy at the moment. He’s having a bit of a difficult time balancing himself on his feet! Xander Irish whips Santo onto the barricade! Xander rushes towards Santo before connecting with a running uppercut!
Eve: No! Santo Muerte manages to get out of the way as Xander Payne goes crashing back first onto the barricade! SANTO WITH A HESITATION DROPKICK AS THAT STAGGERS XANDER FORWARD! XANDER CONNECTS WITH A SERIES OF SHOOT KICKS TO THE FOREHEAD OF XANDER! YOU CAN HEARD THE SOUND THAT THESE KICKS ARE MAKING FROM THE TOP ROPE OF THIS ARENA! I’M JUST CRINGING HEARING THE SOUNDS FROM THIS TABLE! XANDER IS UNABLE TO BLOCK THIS SHOTS! SANTO IS GOING HAYWIRE WITH THESE SHOOT KICKS!
Gavin Kirkland: Xander Payne manages to catch Santo Muerte by his foot before connecting with another shoot kick! Xander is shaking his head no as he’s somehow finding the strength to make it back to a vertical base! Santo is hopping on one leg, almost trying to reason with Xander on why not to connect with this next move, but —
Deadprez: DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP BY THE PAYNEKILLER! SANTO MUERTE IS TURNED TO HIS SIDE AS HE’S CLUTCHING ONTO THAT RIGHT LEG OF HIS! THIS WAS SOMETHING THAT SHOULDN’T BE HAPPENING AT THIS POINT OF THE MATCH! ANY SETBACK FROM SANTO CAN GIVE XANDER THE UPPER HAND IN THIS MATCH! XANDER GETS SANTO BY HIS LEG BEFORE SLAMMING IT AGAINST THE STEEL STEPS! The cries of Santo are heard throughout this arena! Xander gets Santo and rolls him inside the ring, but Xander gets Santo’s legs and takes him over to the corner! Xander pulls Santo closer as he has both legs on each side of the ring post at the corner! Xander gets Santo’s injured right leg before —
Eve: Xander swings Santo’s right leg against the ring post! Santo cries out in pain as you can see that sinister smirk on the former New Breed Champion’s face! Xander gets inside the ring and takes Santo away from the corner before pinning him in the middle of the ring!
Referee: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: Santo Muerte manages to power through! However, it seems like Xander has intentions of ending this match! Xander gets Santo by his right arm before applying a figure four leg lock on The Saint of Death! Santo begins to cry out in pain! Santo is completely trapped in the middle of the ring! He may need to submit here! He needs to live another day!
Deadprez: Are you crazy, Gavin? Santo Muerte has a mission to bring a wonderful victory like this to El Rey! SANTO HAS LOST HIS PAST TWO MATCHES AND HE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO BEAR WITH THE FACT OF LOSING THIS THIRD MATCH! THIS GUY IS WAY TOO GOOD TO SUBMIT RIGHT NOW! SANTO HAS PUT HIS BODY THROUGH MORE TORTUOUS THINGS THAN THIS MOVE AT THE MOMENT!
Eve: It seems like Santo is trying to figure out what to do at the moment! He’s trying to fight through the pain and reach for the bottom rope! Santo desperately trying to reach as he makes it! He manages to grasp onto the bottom rope as Santo has to release this hold!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! RELEASE THE HOLD, XANDER!
Gavin Kirkland: Xander Payne releases the move as it seems like he will continue his task with weakening Santo Muerte’s right leg! Xander has a hold of Santo and his right leg and raises it up!
Deadprez: SANTO MUERTE MANAGED TO SHIFT XANDER PAYNE’S BODY AND GETS HIM BY THE ARM! XANDER IS ROLLED OVER TO HIS SIDE AS SANTO HAS XANDER IN POSITION FOR THE OFFERING! YOU CAN SEE THE PANICKING EXPRESSION ON THE FORMER NEW BREED CHAMPION’S FACE! SANTO GOES TO BEND THE ARM BACK —
Eve: Xander Payne manages to roll himself out of the ring and look at that he ducks his head underneath the skirt of the ring! Is he really hiding from Santo Muerte! Santo exits the ring to follow Xander Payne! Sant sees that Xander’s head is underneath the ring! Santo gets Xander by the leg as he tugs on the Paynekiller! However, it seems like Xander is refusing to let go of whatever the hell he is grasping onto inside the ring! Santo goes to tug Xander even more, but Xander is refusing to let go! Santo goes to pull Xander out one last time! It’s a success!!!
Gavin Kirkland: WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT??? XANDER PAYNE JUST STRUCK SANTO MUERTE WITH SOMETHING!??!?! THE REFEREE RINGS THE BELL!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: IS THAT A BARBED WIRE BOWLING BALL????!?!?!
(The camera pans to the barbed wire bowling ball that Xander Payne just threw at Santo Muerte. Santo is holding his face back as Xander had struck him in the face with that ball.)
Gina Romano: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH BY DISQUALIFICATION … SAAAAAANNNNNNNNTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUUUUEEEERRRRRRTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Eve: Santo Muerte is not happy with how that match ended up, BUT SANTO MUERTE LAUNCHES HIMSELF TOWARDS XANDER PAYNE AND BEGINS TO PUMMEL THE FORMER NEW BREED CHAMPION WITH SOME LEFT AND RIGHT PUNCHES! SANTO IS IN RAGE AT THE MOMENT! XANDER IS TRYING TO DELIVER SOME SHOTS BACK TO SANTO MUERTE! XANDER MANAGES TO GET HIS POSSESSION ON THE BARBED WIRE BOWLING BALL AND HE THROWS IT AT SANTO’S SKULL AGAIN!
Gavin Kirkland: Santo is able to move out of the way! The barbed wire bowling ball hits the official of the match in the skull!!!! :damn: :damn: :damn: Santo and Xander continue to trade shots with each other!
Deadprez: Officials are coming out as they try to pull off Santo Muerte away from Xander Payne! Xander uses this as an opportunity to escape with his barbed wire bowling ball in position! A group of securities manage to back Santo away as Xander stumbles up the ramp! The best thing for Xander to do was to get away from Santo Muerte and make sure that he’s one-hundred percent ready for the chamber match next week!
(The last scene is with Santo Muerte looking at Xander Payne with a death glare and Xander Payne looking at the barbed wire bowling ball. His mind conjuring up with the endless ways of destroying his opponents inside the chamber. The scene fades elsewhere.)
Voiceover: In the briminal justice system, dickeating based offenses are considered especially heinous in Elite Answers Wrestling, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are known as an elite squad known as the Bozo Victims Unit. These are their stories.
( Earlier this week, at approx 2 AM )
SCREEN BAR: EAW Headquarters, Newark, New Jersey
( Open to a birds eye view overlooking the campus office of EAW Headquarters in Newark, New Jersey. The camera takes us, frame by frame, through the front entrance which is dimly lit due to it being night time, leading down a hallway, leading down an elevator to a floor that reads ‘inventory’, and into another long and narrow hallway corridor where names are written on each door. We pass by doors with signs that read “Pyro”, “Steel Cage”, “Extreme Rules”, “Showdown sets”, “Dynasty sets”, “Voltage sets”, and other rooms that are meant to store structures, sets, weapons and more of EAW’s massive warehouse inventory. We then arrive at a door that reads “Elimination Chamber (2017-current)”, which is where Detective Biggums, Detective Asson and Detective Ty enter. The Elimination Chamber storage room is surrounded in production crates stacked throughout the massive garage, and at the center of the room is a ring surrounded by an actual Extreme Elimination Chamber structure. The three BVU members stand before the massive structure, surveying it, clearly amazed at what they see. )
Detective Asson: Wow, so this is the Elimination Chamber. (to Detective Biggums) So, like. You lead the way.
Detective Biggums: (to Detective Ty) Go ahead Ty you lead the way.
Detective Ty: :whoa: I’m not going in there first.
Detective Biggums: What are you so scared of?
Detective Ty: What are YOU so scared of?
Detective Biggums: I’m not scared of anything what are YOU so afraid of :mjpls:
Detective Asson: But of y’all sound shook to be honest.
Detective Ty: Mike you’re built like a tank you should be perfectly fine stepping in there.
Detective Biggums: Ty you been to jail, I haven’t, you should be comfortable in that environment.
Detective Ty: Who in their right mind would be comfortable in that death trap?!
Detective Asson: SHUSH. Need I remind you we’re not even supposed to be in here right now. This is supposed to be an undercover operation, remember?
Detective Biggums & Detective Ty: :lupe:
Detective Asson: (rolling her eyes) Oh my God fine I’ll lead the way, you guys are such babies I swear.
( Detective Asson is the first to climb up the steel steps that lead into the Elimination Chamber. Ty and Biggums follow her closely by and all three cautiously enter the structure. They step through the ropes and enter the ring to get a better view of the Elimination Chamber for themselves, from the inside. )
Detective Biggums: OK I think we’ve seen all we needed to see lets get up out of here now guys! 😀
( Biggums turns to leave, and Asson grabs him by the arm refusing to let him go. )
Detective Asson: Stop being a baby Mike, we’re here to get an inside look at the chamber for ourselves and scope this place out so that we can bring back information to SKabler. You want to see him become a double champion, right? WELL like you can easily tell, they redesigned the Elimination Chamber and nobody besides Chris has even been in this type of match in years. The faster you can do your job and perform the forensic inspection the faster we can get out of this place. EAW HQ is creepy as hell at night.
Detective Ty: So how does a forensic inspection even work anyway? What are we here to collect thumbprints and shit? Chris does realize we’re not actual cops right…
Detective Asson: No, ugh. Look let’s just split up so we can get this done more quickly. We don’t need the janitor showing up and snitching on us or something. Two of us aren’t even employees.
Detective Biggums: Oh nah you good, I got the employee guest passes!
Detective Ty: I’m not sure those apply to after hours.. but Asson’s right, Iet’s get this shit over with so I can get back to my precious Juul in the car. Been too long without my baby.
Detective Biggums: We’ve only been here 10 minutes :dahell:
( The three detectives scope out the Extreme Elimination Chamber in a timelapse scene. Asson is looking around in the chamber taking notes on her detective sketch pad, and she looks around at the floors of the chamber outside of the ring with a magnifying glass to find clues. Ty is climbing the walls of the chamber, tightrope walking the steel beams holding up the chamber walls, and climbing the chain link roof of the Elimination Chamber. Big Mike is scoping out the ringside area, looking underneath the steel steps, and poking around under the ring. Detective Asson pulls up the padding from the ringside floors inside of the chamber, revealing the metal grid floors familiar to the environment of the 08-2017 models of Elimination Chamber. Asson pulls up another block of floor padding, and a spider crawls out from under the crack and nearly touches her hand causing Asson to yelp and run away. The time lapse portion of the scene ends and Detective Biggums is in one of the chamber pods closest to the door of the structure. )
( Suddenly – every pod inside the Elimination Chamber slams shut and locks on its own. )
Detective Biggums: :krabs:
Detective Asson: :krabs:
Detective Ty: :krabs:
( Detective Biggums attempts to open the pod, but he finds no way to do so as it’s been sealed completely shut. )
Detective Biggums: Oh nah quit playing. That ain’t funny Ty!!!
Detective Ty: What are you talking about??? I didn’t do anything!
( Detective Ty climbs down from the top of the chamber pod he was in, and both him and Asson look at the trapped Biggums with concern. )
Detective Biggums: Asson what the fuck you doing girl.
Detective Asson: Mike you literally see me right here. I didn’t do anything. Maybe you pressed something wrong by mistake.
Detective Biggums: NAH I didn’t press shit!
( Detective Biggums attempts to yank the door of the chamber pod open with his hands to no avail. Biggums bangs on the bulletproof glass of the pod. )
Detective Biggums: You see why I didn’t want to come here?!
Detective Ty: Just relax it’s no big deal. Probably just some malfunction or whatever. Here let me help you.
( Asson and Ty attempt to help pull the door of the chamber pod open, to no avail. )
Detective Biggums: FUCK!
Detective Asson: Mike just chill! Getting all worked up isn’t going to get you out of there.
Detective Biggums: Nah you don’t understand! I’m claustrophobic! I break out in hives! I start to get clammy and weak kneed, it’s my biggest incurable phobia! Or at least it’s up there next to my homophobia
( The lights of the Elimination Chamber shut off, and the entire room is pitch black. )
Voice: Let’s play a game.
Detective Ty: What kind of game?
( The lights of the Elimination Chamber turn back on, and we see Xander Payne sitting in a chair in the middle of the ring with his legs crossed, and the Extreme Elimination Chamber master remote in his hand. )
Xander Payne: This one’s called House Of Payne.
Detective Ty: Yo dawg that’s my show!
Xander Payne: No, idiot. I mean MY house, the one you are all currently standing in uninvited. What the hell are you people doing here anyway?
Detective Asson: We could ask you the same question.
( Xander Payne stands up from his chair. )
Xander Payne: Excuse me tramp but none of you are in any position to be asking me the questions. Let me guess, you’re all here to get a sneak peek at the Extreme Elimination Chamber so that you can run back to your little leader with every detail about every nook and cranny of this place, right? Hoping to maybe get Chris Elite a competitive edge over the rest of us? Well tough shit, because now you three are my hostages now.
Detective Biggums: Alright damn you hungry hungry hippo just let me out of here already, now!!!
Xander Payne: Insults aren’t going to do you any good buddy. This right here in my hands is the same remote control that was used by Captain Charisma in the 2009 Dynasty Extreme Elimination Chamber to control this entire structure. See I’ve been doing my research, doing my homework, I’ve obsessed over this chamber match because NOTHING in life matters to me more than winning the Answers World Championship – not even the holidays!
Detective Ty: Bro don’t you think you’re taking this a little bit too far?
Xander Payne: First of all, I’m not your “bro”. Secondly, your buddy Chris Elite has no place in this match! He’s a waste of space and a waste of time! He didn’t earn the opportunity to be in there and even if he did he would be of no use, he doesn’t even have what it takes to beat Heavenly Hell.
Detective Biggums: OH YEAH WELL HE HAD WHAT IT TAKES YOU BEAT YOU AND THAT OTHER GUY LAST WEEK DUMMY. NOW PICK UP THAT FAT ASS FINGER OF YOURS AND PRESS THE BUTTON TO GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Xander Payne: Listen you son of a bitch I will not be spoken to that way, you got that?! None of you are even in the league to be in the same ring with me, so the last thing I’m going to take is criticism and petty insults from a glorified male groupie like you!
Detective Asson: Xander hunny, it’s okay.
Ty & Biggums: “Hunny”? :dahell:
Detective Asson: Just take it easy. You just need to relax.
( Detective Asson goes over to feel his arms, and he swats her hands away. )
Xander Payne: Don’t touch me!
( Xander sits down in his chair in a huff. Detective Asson stands behind him, massaging his shoulders a little bit while Ty and Biggums look on incredulously. )
Detective Assum: You have a lotta tension built up, I can tell. Something’s clearing stressing you out. And the fact that you’re here at this ungodly hour and not with the family, especially before the holidays tells me some things. Something going on at home?
( Xander does the “wave off” hand motion, before slumping forward and resting his chin on his clasped together hands. )
Xander Payne: No. So what if there was. What do you care anyway.
Detective Asson: We might not all agree but we’re still one big EAW family! … Who happen to slam chairs and jab shards of glass into each other and bash each others faces in for a living. But at the end of the day we still got to look out for each other, right Ty?
Detective Ty: Y-yeah right, I guess.
Detective Biggums: I can’t believe this. And I don’t even got my inhaler. I’m gonna die here huh. This is really it for me.
Xander Payne: Payton’s bringing the in-laws over for the holiday and her mother is a MASSIVE, MASSIVE bitch. I swear to God it takes everything inside of me not to piledrive her through the fucking table at every dinner. I seriously do not even want to be there, Thanksgiving is a stupid American holiday anyway, but the kids grew up here so of course we have to observe it. If we didn’t come to this cesspool of a tri-state area and stayed in good old Ontario I wouldn’t even have to deal with this mess.
Detective Biggums: I am so confused.
Detective Asson: The holidays are a stressful time for all of us Xander-poo. I’m sure the sex at least gets the edge off for the night, right?
Xander Payne: It would if she’d bother to put out. But nooo it’s “I’m too tired”, “I had a long dayyyy”, doing WHAT?! You’re a stay at home mom for crying out loud. What could possibly be so tiring, basket weaving?!
Detective Asson: Wow… well I want you to know that I completely understand. You’re a big, powerful man. You have needs that should be fulfilled… maybe I can help you release some of that tension.
( Detective Asson walks in front of Xander while he’s still sitting, and slowly sits on his lap. Xander holds up his hands. )
Detective Biggums: Don’t do it fam she belong to the streets.
Detective Asson: (to Detective Biggums) SHUT UP!
( She brushes her nose against Xander’s neck and takes a whiff. )
Detective Asson: Hmmm what is that? You smell so good. Better than I would expect from a dirty neckbeard.
Xander Payne: Thanks it’s Dior Sauvage. Look I get it, I’m irresistible, I’m charming, women want me and men want to be me. But I’m not interested in cheating on my wife.
Detective Asson: It can be our little secret. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
Xander Payne: Hey, come on now.
( Asson lets out a coy giggle and gets up to tease Xander a little bit, she grabs his hands and puts them around her waist – and she uses nonverbal facial cues to command Ty to go for the remote that Xander has placed on the ground. Detective Asson wraps her arms around Xander, over his shoulders, and straddles him, and Ty sneaks up to the chair from Xander’s blindside in order to pick up the remote. )
Xander Payne: Okay okay, I get it, you want the Paynemaker Package. A lot of women do. But unfortunately-
Xander Payne: HEY!!!
( Xander Payne tosses Asson off of him and jumps up to his feet. The chamber pod opens, but it’s the wrong chamber pod. Ty stands there with a frozen look of fear in his hands. )
Detective Biggums: BRUH COME ON MAN
Detective Ty: I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS THING WORKS :krabs:
Xander Payne: GIVE ME THAT BACK YOU SON OF A BITCH!
( Xander Payne chases TY around the ring, and Ty presses a button only to turn the sprinklers on in the Elimination Chamber instead. Xander corners Ty, and Ty chucks the remote to Asson. Asson presses a button, turning the sprinklers off, and Xander Payne turns to her to charge at her. Asson underhand tosses the remote to Ty again, and Ty randomly presses buttons causing the lights to flicker, the pods to open, shut, and then open again. Biggums runs for his life out of the chamber pod and out of the Elimination Chamber itself, and Detective Asson soon follows him. Detective Ty tries to run out of the ring to follow the other two, but he’s caught by Xander Payne. )
Detective Asson: Oh no Ty!
( Xander Payne clobbers Ty with a massive lariat from his meaty arm. )
Detective Asson: Mike, help him!
Detective Biggums: Hell nah I ain’t going back in there, no way, y’all on your own!
( Xander Payne drags Ty up from the floor and puts him back down, drilling him nearly through the mat with the “Last Sedation” Pop Up Powerbomb. Xander turns back to the door of the entire garage, where Asson and Biggums are standing by watching with bated breath. )
Xander Payne: YEAH THAT’S RIGHT! RUN! TELL YOUR BUDDY CHRIS THAT THAT’S HIM IN TWO WEEKS! YOU GOT THAT?! THAT’S HIM!!!
( Detective Biggums grabs Detective Asson by the arm and shrugs off the entire incident, leaving while muttering under his breath. Xander Payne continues the beatdown on a defenseless Detective Ty until the scene eventually comes to a close. )
(Camera opens to find Gina Romano inside the ring.)
Gina Romano: ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for…
Crowd: ONE FALL!
(“Odee” by A Boogie hits as Chris Elite makes his way to the stage alongside Ahren Fournier. Ahren pauses and waits as he looks back before Jennipurr runs out and leaps into his arms. The three stand together as the crowd boos before walking down the ramp.)
Gina Romano: Introducing first, making his way to the ring accompanied by Ahren Fournier… from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 210 pounds… CHRIS ELITE!
Deadprez: Big Bhris Elite is in the building! The Illionaires look energized and ready to go! In only two weeks, they will challenge for the Unified Tag Team Championships at Road to Redemption!
Gavin Kirkland: You mean Pavement to Restitution.
Eve: They’ll get their shot at the titles, but the disrespect they and the General Manager have shown to the reigning champions has been something else. I think there’s more than a few people who’d like to see the Illionaires get their comeuppance.
(Chris slides into the ring as Ahren steps around the ring with Jennipurr. His music is then replaced by “Children of the Son” by Pipe Choir as Minerva and Constance Blevins walk out with their Unified Tag Team Championships over their shoulders.)
Gina Romano: And his opponent, making her way to the ring accompanied by Constance Blevins, from Coyote Flats, Texas, weighing in at 125 pounds… she is one half of the Unified Tag Team Champions… MINERVA!
Eve: And here are the champs who are looking to bring that comeuppance.
Deadprez: Heavenly Hell feel they’ve been consistently disrespected as Champions and they’ve been wanting a match against the Illionaires to display their abilities. At Road to—
Gavin Kirkland: PAVEMENT TO RESTITUTION!
Deadprez: Goddamn man, get off my dick.
(Minerva hands her title belt to Constance before climbing up and into the ring, posing on halfway through the ropes with her tongue out. She steps in and eyes Chris Elite with a smirk as the ref calls for the bell.)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Eve: Here we go! Chris Elite looking to go after Minerva now as both meet in the center of the ring! Chris looking to use his rare size and strength advantage to drive Minerva backwards! Trying to push her back into the corner— BUT MINERVA SLIDES UNDERNEATH HIS LEGS! SHE POPS UP BEHIND HIM AND SHOVES ELITE INTO THE CORNER! MINERVA FOLLOWS QUICKLY WITH A SHOTGUN DROPKICK TO THE SPINE THAT CRUSHES ELITE’S ABDOMEN AGAINST THE TURNBUCKLES! Elite stumbling out of the corner— AND CAUGHT QUICKLY BY A LEAPING ENZIGURI FROM MINERVA! ELITE IS DOWN AND MINERVA HAS THE COVER!
Deadprez: Quick kickout but Minerva has a grin on her face! She knew that wouldn’t end it but sending a message to Elite who may have come in here underestimating her. Elite climbing slowly to his feet, keeping his eyes on the Gypsy Moth as his expression has changed from confidence to focus. Both of them begin to circle again as they move in! Minerva taking a low stance as she moves and Elite pulling his leg back to avoid a takedown! Both of them looking to create and advantage for themselves but neither trying to be stupid right now! Minerva shoots in and grabs a front waist lock! But Elite now trying to grab her in a gut wrench hold to counter! Elite powering Minerva up! Looking for a gut wrench powerbomb! BUT MINERVA GRABS HIM WITH THE LEGS AND TURNS IT INTO A HURRICANRANA! Elite hits the mat and tries to get up quickly but Minerva rushing in! Shining Wizard— NO! Elite ducked underneath it! He grabs Minerva from behind! OH! BIG GERMAN SUPLEX SENDS MINERVA CRASHING! Minerva landing on the back of her neck! Elite now rushing over and stomping a hole into the tag team champion!
Gavin Kirkland: I love the Illionaires but please don’t hurt the Gypsy gems!
Eve: Wait… the what?
Gavin Kirkland: THOSE GORGEOUS GOTH TITTIES!
Deadprez: Elite continues to drive his boot into the abdomen of Minerva! Trying to cut right through her! Elite now stepping away! He runs to the ropes! Springboard backflip! BIONIC STOMP! The double stomp right into the chest of the much smaller Minerva! Elite making a cover now!
Eve: But a kickout from the Princess Killer! Minerva not going to be taken out that simply! Elite grabbing Minerva by the hair and dragging her up! He pounds a fist into her forehead! Again! And again! He pulls her up to standing but another punch to keep her dazed!! Minerva is staggered! Elite steps back! BOX OFFICE SMASH— NO! MINERVA DUCKED UNDERNEATH THE SUPERKICK! She grabs elite by the head and sits back into a jawbreaker! Elite stumbles back into the ropes and Minerva keeps the pressure on! She catches him right at the ropes with a knee to the gut! She turns around and grabs his head! Driving him into the mat with a bulldog! Minerva mounting on top of Elite and pounding away at his face with hammer fists! Trying to batter the former World Heavyweight Champion! Ahren looking worried on the outside but Constance is loving it! Minerva dropping bombs into the face of Elite! Now she stands up and hops into the air for a quick double stomp of her own! Minerva now sliding over to her corner where— what’s this?
Deadprez: Constance just handed something to Minerva! Minerva turning back to Elite… BUT CONSTANCE UP ON THE APRON! DISTRACTING THE REFEREE!
Gavin Kirkland: Ahren yelling something at Elite but Chris is still fuzzy from those hammerfists! He’s trying to get up! But Minerva is right behind him! MINERVA STICKS WHATEVER THAT WAS IN HER MOUTH! THATS THE DARK! THE BLACK MIST!
Eve: BUT ELITE TURNS WITH A BACKFIST TO THE FACE! MINERVA SPITS THE BLACK AND IT SPLATTERS ON THE MAT BUT NONE OF IT GOT ON ELITE! FIVE BUROUGH COMBO! ELITE TAKING MINERVA DOWN AS THAT BLACK LIQUID STILL DRIPS FROM HER MOUTH! Elite probably heard the warning from Ahren and he should be thankful he did! Constance is off the apron now trying more tos we if Minerva is okay but the Gypsy Moth already trying to roll over and get up! Her skin is splotched with that black liquid as she rolls through it which has the referee looking confused as to what he missed but Elite not going to let her go that easy! He grabs her by the head and lifts her up! Looking for a brainbuster maybe? OH! ELITE TURNS THE SUPLEX AROUND AND DROPS MINERVA INTO A DOUBLE KNEE BACKBREAKER! MINERVA CRASHED HARD AND NOW ELITE LOOKING TO GO FOR THE WIN! HE DROPS DOWN AND GRABS HER ARM AND FACE! RANSOM LOCKED IN! THE GARGANO ESCAPE APPLIED! MINERVA COULD BE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE HERE!
Deadprez: Minerva in pain as Chris cranks back on her neck! Don’t forget she crashed hard on the back of her neck from that German Suplex earlier! She’s reaching with her one free arm and trying to use her feet to drive towards the ropes! Minerva pushing! Clawing but that black mist on the mat is making it hard for her to make any progress! Her hand and boots are slipping with no grip! Minerva’s own mist may cost her this match if she can’t escape! Looking around! Trying to swing back but no good! Twisting! Turning underneath! Trying to feel for an opening! WHOA!
Eve: MINERVA BRIDGES UNDERNEATH! USING ALL HER STRENGTH TO ROTATE THROUGH AND ROLL CHRIS OVER! ELITE’S SHOULDERS ARE DOWN!
Gavin Kirkland: Elite releases the hold and rolls away! Minerva scooting herself over to the corner as she slowly pulls herself to her feet! Elite rushes in though! Not giving her any time to breathe! He catches her with a knee in the corner! GO TO THE DENTIST! The jumping bicycle knee lands and Minerva is stunned! Elite wrapping her arm up! Looking for the Elite Cutter! He leaps up for the springboard! Pulls back for the cutter!
Eve: BUT MINERVA SHOVES HIM OFF! Elite crashes to the mat as Minerva checks her nose for blood after the knee strike! Elite trying to get to his feet but Minerva is on offense now! She moves in and grabs him from behind! Looking to roll through for the Owl of Minerva! The Cattle Mutilation submission! She hooks both of the arms and rolls forward— BUT ELITE USING HIS STRENGTH TO PULL BACK! NOT LETTING MINERVA ROLL ALL THE WAY THROUGH FOR THE HOLD! THE POWER OF THE FORMER WORLD CHAMPION! KEEPING HIMSELF ALIVE! Minerva rolls back and looks annoyed! She begins to drop knees into the back of Elite but Chris shoving her away and climbing quickly to a vertical base! Minerva coming in with a clothesline but Elite ducks it! HEAD SHOT! The pele kick connects right between the eyes of the Gypsy Moth! Minerva trying to shake her head clear! But Chris slips around! Rear waist lock! German suplex! BUT HE HOLDS ON! HE ROLLS THROUGH! AND SLIPS UNDERNEATH HER! LOOKING FOR THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT! CHRIS HAS HER ON HIS SHOULDERS! HE REACHES UP TO GRAB HER HEAD FOR THE ONE WINGED ANGEL—
Deadprez: BUT MINERVA SLIPS DOWN AND TURNS IT INTO A CANADIAN DESTROYER! ELITE IS PLANTED INTO THE MAT AND MINERVA HAS THE COVER! JENNIPURR HISSES IN DISAPPROVAL!
Eve: BUT THE RESILIENCE OF ELITE POWERS THROUGH! These two are putting on a display right now! But Elite looks like he might be out! That kickout was pure instinct! Minerva grabs Elite by the head! She pulls him up and places that inverted headlock on him! She has him in position! PARADISE LOST! THE INVERTED DDT DROPS ELITE AND THAT HAS TO BE IT! MINERVA MAKES THE COVER!
Deadprez: BUT AHREN FOURNIER JUST PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING! HE THROWS THE REFEREE INTO THE BARRICADE AND SLIDES INTO THE RING! AHREN RUNS OVER! STORYBOOK ENDING—
Eve: BUT MINERVA SAW THE CURB STOMP COMING AND ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! SHE HOPS TO HER FEET AS CONSTANCE SCREAMS! MINERVA TURNS AS SHE GETS UP! AHREN CONNECTS WITH A SUPERKICK TO MINERVA! CONSTANCE TRYING TO GET THE REFEREE BACK UP BUT HES DOWN! AHREN PULLS CHRIS TO HIS FEET AND HOLDS HIM UP! HES SHAKING CHRIS AWAKE FROM THE PARADISE LOST! CHRIS COMING TO AND NODDING HIS HEAD! BOTH MEN GRABBING MINERVA AND LIFTING HER PRONE BODY UP!
Deadprez: Minerva is seated on Chris’s shoulders! Abren climbing the ropes! They’re gonna put Minerva on Ice! Ahren looking to hit that clothesline from hell! The protect ya neck!
Jennipurr (off-mic): HISSSSSSSSS!!!!
Eve: Jennipurr hissing loudly and Ahren turns his head— JUST IN TIME TO GET CAUGHT BY CONSTANCE BLEVINS! CONSTANCE SPRINGBOARDS IN FROM THE APRON AND HITS AHREN WITH A CUTTER FROM THE TOP ROPE! SHE ROLLS OUT OF THE RING AND PULLS AHREN WITH HER! ELITE TRYING NOW TO TURN MINERVA OVER FOR THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT AGAIN BUT SHE SHOVES HERSELF OFF! HE TURNS AND MINERVA KICKS HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE LEGS! CHRIS IS DOUBLED OVER! SHE GETS HIM IN PILEDRIVER POSITION!
Deadprez: MINERVA WITH AMAZING POWER FOR HER SIZE! LIFTING ELITE UP! SHE HAS HIM SET! THE PRINCESS KILLER! TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! ELITE IS DRIVEN DOWN AGAIN!! AND HERES THE REF! CRAWLING BACK INTO THE RING AS MINERVA MAKES THE COVER ON CHRIS ELITE!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Gina Romano: HERE IS YOUR WINNER… MINERVA!!!!
(Minerva is on all fours over Chris. She leans her face down and licks Chris Elite on the side of his face. Chris suddenly snaps awake and revolts at the feeling of Minerva licking him and shoving himself away, feeling disgusted. She stands and grins at him before she looks over to see Constance sliding in and handing her the tag belt as the referee raises her hand. Both members of Heavenly Hell hold the belts high as Chris rolls out of the ring clutching at his head and wiping his face.)
Deadprez: WOW! That was an insane ending but Minerva picks up the big win and Heavenly Hell stand tall as the Illionaires make their exit! Minerva with a statement there as she licked the face of the former World Heavyweight Champion.
(“Children of the Son” hits again as Minerva and Constance stand on the ropes and hold their belts up, staring at the Illionaires as Ahren scoops up Jennipurr and tries to help Chris up the ramp. Both of them look at Heavenly Hell with scowls on their faces. Jennipurr swings a claw in the champions’ direction.)
Gavin Kirkland: Much as I love the Illionaires it’s good to see the titties win too.
Eve: Ignoring that comment, this is a big win for Heavenly Hell, and this could very well be a preview of Road to Redemption! The Illionaires have been established, but Minerva and Constance have been teaming much longer and their cohesive timing played to their favor tonight! But, I believe that’s all the time we have for this edition of Showdown! Signing off on behalf of Gavin Kirkland and Deadprez! I am Eve! Goodnight from Edmonton!
(Final shot is Minerva and Constance holding each other’s hands high as the camera fades.)
(EAW Logo buzzes.)