(“Misanthrope” By Local H plays as the brand new Showdown intro is being shown for the television audience before we quickly sign into to the AT&T Center in San Antonio, Texas as we have a pan shot of the audience standing and cheering on their feet and then we finally cut to Pierre Mcguire and Deadprez at the commentators table ready to call all the action)
Pierre: WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF THE LONGEST WEEKLY EPISODIC TELEVISION SHOW IN EAW HISTORY! WELCOME TO SHOWDOWN!! AND WE ARE ON THE HORIZON OF ANOTHER MONUMENTAL SHOWDOWN EVENT AS WE HAVE NO REGARDS NEXT WEEKEND AND THE CARD IS SHAPING UP RIGHT HERE TONIGHT!
Deadprez: I hear the tagline is “Fear is temporary, Regret is forever” Well that is how Showdown has been as of late, the hard hitting action and the cutthroat men we have on our roster all fighting to be number one has given us one hell of a card, a Last man standing match between TLA and Cody Marshall and I am pleased to announce that on the line in that match the winner will face the Openweight Champion!
Pierre: That’s big news but we also have Diamond Cage vs Scott Diamond for the EAW Championship and we’ll find out the stipulation to that match right here tonight, we have that and so much action to get into so let’s not waste any time and let’s get into our first dose of Showdown action!
(Camera pans to Aaron Fitzpatrick standing inside the ring as he is awaiting the first match)
Fitzpatrick: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
(“You Only Love Once” by Suicide Silence hits as Damon Diesel comes out to a mixed reaction from the crowd and makes his entrance)
Fitzpatrick: Introducing first, making his way to the ring from Orlando, Florida, weighing in at 205 pounds… DAAAAAAAMMMOOOOOONNNN DDDIIIIEEEEESSSSEEEELLLLL!!!!!!!
Pierre: Diesel looking to build momentum. He nearly had a win last week over Chris Elite but he couldn’t keep his eye on the ball.
Deadprez: He’s gonna have to keep his focus on tonight.
(“Revolution” by Pennywise hits as Drake King comes out to cheers from the crowd and makes his entrance)
Fitzpatrick: And his opponent, making his way to the ring from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 220 pounds… DDDRRRRRAAAAKKKEEEE KKIIIIIINNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!
Crowd: OK! OK! OK! OK! OK!
Deadprez: This crowd is fully behind Drake King! The man has been on a roll lately!
Pierre: Drake is in top form and tonight he looks to take on Damon Diesel as we are under way!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Pierre: Drake moves to the center of the ring but Damon circles around, eyeing him. Damon now steps in and puts a hand up, looking for the test of strength. The larger drake puts his hand up to match and now the two are locked in! Drake twists Damon back… BUT DAMON NOW COMING FROM BEHIND AND PUSHING DRAKE ONTO HIS HEELS! Damon now uses his foot to pick the leg of Drake and Damon falls on top in a half guard position. Immediately Damon transitions into a side shoulder lock and cranks deep on it! Torquing the shoulder to try and wear Drake down early! Now he’s got the hold and places his knee with his full weight into Drakes rib cage!
Deadprez: You are watching a masterpiece at work. Damon Diesel can wear an opponent down like no other. Now he releases the hold and transitions over to the side for a headlock and look how he just grinds the side of his elbow into Drake! Now cranking away and still just sapping the life out of him! Drake is struggling underneath and can’t seem to find a way out! Drake now pulling his knees underneath himself and tried to drive forward… Oh! But Damon counters and cranks the headlock in tighter! This is where he’s strongest. Drake tries again to push himself… And he does! Drake driving with his feet, trying to find something… and he manages to turn over and loose the he hold! He slips his head out and rolls away from Damon, a hand on the ropes as he stands back up!
Pierre: Drake now looking a little more cautious as he moves in on Damon again. Standard collar elbow tie up now… and Damon stays on offense by twisting into a wrist lock! He twists it around another rotation to make it hurt! But Drake now, reverse somersault releases the pressure! Now he throws himself to the mat on his back and pulls Damon in… UPKICK CONNECTS TO DAMON’S FACE! Drake hops back up and Damon is staggered! Running bulldog plants Damon into the mat! Drake King is firing up!
Crowd: OK! OK! OK! OK! OK!
Deadprez: All of San Antonio is behind him! Drake hits the ropes! Low dropkick hits Damon in the jaw! Drake makes the quick cover!
Diesel kicks out! Now Drake lines up! Damon trying to get to his feet.. SUPERKICK!
Pierre: NO! Damon deflects the kick and grabs the leg! Dragonscrew takes Drake down! Damon flips him over and sits! BOSTON CRAB LOCKED IN! Damon is deadly with this hold! And look at the bend on Drakes leg and spine! He’s calling out in pain! Drake pressing up on his hands! He needs to find a way out of the hold!
Deadprez: Drake gonna have to dig deep! Look at him now! Pawing and dragging his way to the ropes! Damon cranks it deeper with each and every movement! He’s nearly there! Drake reaches! He’s inches from the ropes!!
Pierre: BUT DAMON WALKS HIM BACK TOT HE CENTER OF THE RING! The ref asking if drake wants to tap! Drake has his hand up! He might be ready to give! But he’s gonna try crawling again! Clawing at the mat! Drake unwilling to give in to Diesel! Fighting through the pain! And he’s nearly to the ropes again! Diesel stands to walk him back… BUT DRAKE USES THE GAP TO ROTATE AND SLIP THE HOLD! HE BOOTS DAMON IN THE LOWER BACK TO KICK HIM OFF!! Drake climbs up to his feet and looks to be favoring the right leg that was just in the Boston crab! He tries to beat some life into it but here comes Diesel! Big clothesline! But Drake ducks it and rolls outta of the ring! He’s gonna try to get some space and get his leg working a bit before taking Damon head on!
Deadprez: But here comes Damon! BASEBALL SLIDE TO THE BACK OF DRAKES HEAD!!! Drake collapses and he may have connected with the barricade there! Now Damon slides out! He grabs Drake by the head and runs him shoulder first into the steel steps! The ref starts the count!
Damon pulls Drake up again… BUT DRAKE PUSHES BACK AND DRIVES HIM INTO THE RING APRON SOINE FIRST!
DRAKE NOW CLUBBING AT DAMON!
Damon catches one of the punches and grabs Drake’s head, bounding it off the apron!
Damon now drives knees into the sternum of Drake who seems to have had the wind knocked out of him!
Damon positions Drake! He rolls him halfway into the ring!
Damon now grabs Drake’s legs and drags him towards to corner!
DAMON JUST WRAPPED DRAKES INJURED LEG AROUND THE STEEL POST! Drake just screamed out in pain!
DAMON GRABS DRAKES LEG AND THROWS IT INTO THE POST AGAIN! SHADES OF HOW HE BEAT SHACKLEFORD WAY BACK!
Damon looks very pleased with himself as he rolls back in, breaking the refs count
Pierre: Drake is in serious pain. And now Damon just laying into him with these kicks! Drake has no choice but to try and create some distance— HE JUST PICKED DAMONS LEG! Damon falls and Drake tries to pull himself to his feet! He massages his right thigh, trying to get some blood in it before standing! Drake tries to get some momentum! He takes off!
Deadprez: But his leg just gave out! Damon now drops on the back of Drake King! Pounding away at him as the crowd let’s him know how they feel!
Deadprez: Damon looks up and it looks like he has an idea! He’s got a sick smile on his face! He points to the top rope and begins to climb! He signals up to the crowd… HES SIGNALLING “OK”!!! HES GOING TO USE DRAKE’S OWN OK SPLASH!!!! He smiles at his target! DAMON JUMPS! OK SPLASH!!
Pierre: KINGS WASTELAND!!!!!!!! Drake popped up and used the strength of his one good leg added to Damon’s momentum! He caught Damon mid rotation and turned it into the falcon arrow!!!! What a move! Cover!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Fitzpatrick: Here is your winner by pinfall, DRRRAAAAKKEEE KKIIIIIINNNGGGG!!!!!!!
Deadprez: What a come back by Drake King! I thought Damon had him locked in!
Pierre: That’s Drakes fighting spirit! He didn’t give up! And he comes out on top!
(Drake climbs up, limping and has his hand raised. He waves off the music and asks for a microphone. Damon Diesel is seen rolling out of the ring and making his way up the ramp)
Drake: *pant* Hey San Antonio… *pant* everybody doing OK tonight?
Crowd: OK! OK! OK! OK! OK!
(Drake takes a deep breath and grabs one of the tops to stabilize his hurt leg)
Drake: I got an idea. I haven’t lost a match all month long. So why don’t we start calling October… “OK-tober”? Sound good to you guys?
Drake: Speaking of all that… there’s someone I’d like to talk to. Raven Roberts.
Drake: Raven… back during TI for our New Breed Championship match, you said I was coming in off no build. I’d not proven any consistency. I’d not made anything of my time yet. Well look now. One loss since then where I took TLA to the limit. Undefeated in the month of OK-tober. I slayed a Dragon Slayer! I proved that being OK is better than being the GOAT! And now I proved that I can out work a Diesel engine! I’m everything now that you said I wasn’t!
Crowd: OK! OK! OK! OK! OK!
Drake: So Ray-Ray, if you’re not too (air quotes) “burnt out” after Ryan Wilson, why don’t you bring your ass and your title next week to Honolulu for No Regards? I’m not what you said I was. Let’s see if you’re really the champion you say you are!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK!
(Drake drops the mic and pumps his fist to the OK chant as the camera fades)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK: Syncon: Y’all heard about yiffing?)
(Showdown opens right back up to see the Dragon Slayers in their locker room)
Michael Shaw: We’ve waited for almost a week for a response.
Samuel Steele: I’m a little bit bothered you know, why aren’t we given any kind of respect? We’ve called their hands for weeks and weeks on end and still no kind of respect for the one team who is stepping up to take their championships away from them.
Michael Shaw: Voltage trash just trying to hide behind those belts,
??: So this is what the noise is all about?
(Charlie Marr and Daryl Kinkade step in with the Unified Tag Team Championships in their hands)
Michael Shaw: Cowards know when to show up.
Charlie Marr: We’ve heard all the talking and this challenge is entertaining but that’s all it is, it isn’t really a threat.
Samuel Steele: Hey, how does it feel to know you loss to the guy you hold the titles with?
Daryl: How does it feel to know you’ve been a team longer than us and haven’t won a single championship?
Michael Shaw: It’s okay, we are looking to rectify that mistake and we are going to do it by proving we are the best pure tag team in EAW.
Daryl: I’m intrigued. You know Charlie and I aren’t really afraid of coming here on Showdown if this is what we have to encounter and we didn’t come here to just chat a storm with you so it’s simple.
Charlie: We are going to take the trash out of our tag team division and we are going to start with you two. We’ll see you at No Regards!
(Daryl and Charlie leave the lockeroom before The Dragon Slayers conversate with each other before camera pans to the interview area with Eve)
(Eve is seen on standby backstage with a mic in hand as she’s waiting to talk, another voice can be heard in the background)
Eve: Hello everybody I’m here with th-
???: Yeah yeah whatever I’ll talk to you later. And make sure my steak is medium rare!
(Ahren Fournier appears in the frame as he’s seen aggressively hanging up his phone)
Ahren: Oh didn’t see you there, to what do I owe the pleasure of having my very valuable and not to be occupied space be invaded by you.
Eve: Well last week was uhhh… it’s safe to say it didn’t go your way.
Ahren: It didn’t? According to whom? Who’s to say this isn’t some deeper plot to fool that idiot Chris into thinking he actually stands a chance against me? Let’s be real here Evelyn. I’m th GOAT, I know I say it week after week after week but you people need to realize that this is more of a cold hard fact as opposed to just some catchphrase or nickname. So me, being what I am, versus somebody like Drake King who doesn’t even live up to being the only word he can say which is Ok, did you REALLY think Drake fucking King stands a chance against me? I’m not Chris Elite, I don’t lower myself to fighting curtain jerkers on Battleground, I rub elbows with the absolute best of the best. Drake King cleanly defeating Ahren would be quite the underdog story if I was giving it my all now wouldn’t it be.
Eve: Well I guess when you put it that way…
Ahren: You guess? There’s nothing to guess. And you’ll understand the huge difference between me and the rest of this roster very soon. These past few months have admittedly not been helping my case but this is nothing but the calm before the storm. The EAW Championship is in my future and there’s not a soul on this brand that will stop me from claiming that prize when the time comes, I just have one more “bozo” I need to knock off of his high horse before that happens.
Eve: Which brings me to my next question, you’ve had some back and forth with Chris Elite over these past few weeks. Why is that?
Ahren: Chris is somebody who thinks he can fail on one brand and then come here and think things will be easier and he can skip the line and step on people’s toes. So of course I have to defend my yard. I don’t think he realizes the pecking order here, but this isn’t Battleground and we damn sure don’t give a shit about any contract you hold. I’M the top of the food chain on Showdown, and because of that, I’M going to put anybody who thinks they can change that in their place.
Eve: So when does this issue come to a conclusion?
???: I been wondering that same thing myself….
(Chris Elite steps into the frame accompanied by Big Mike as Ahren brings his attention to him)
Ahren: Oh look who it is, Chris Elite and his bottom bitch!
Chris: Suck my dick. A lot of talk from somebody who’s been racking up L after L and is about to have another one added to that list.
Ahren: Welcome to the club! Let’s not forget the REAL reason you came to this brand. You flopped on Voltage, you fumbled your Elitist of the Year campaign worse than the Falcons fumbled the Super Bowl in 2017. You were better off dealing with people more on your level like Damon Diesel, you’re barking up the wrong tree if you think making an enemy out of me is going to give you any kind of success. As a matter of fact you’re better off fucking off of Showdown and keeping your ass in Battleground because let’s be honest here, your talent aligns more with a developmental talent these days than it ever would with someone like ME.
Chris: Well I’ve defeated bigger and better, and let us not forget I spent most of my World Heavyweight Championship reign on the top of the food chain in a brand that included bozos like yourself. How quickly they forget. You ain’t even fucking with a flabby HBB let alone a prime Big Bhris. You had a nice lil moment with your “GOAT” campaign but now it’s just tired and worn out, it’s like dabbing in 2018. Some things run their course. But that’s all you’ve ever been good for anyways, buzzwords, catchy nicknames, and dumbass gimmicks.
Ahren: Speaking of running courses, you’re the prime definition of running courses. You’ve been running the same shtick since I was the Trill Fairy. The difference between us is I know how to switch it up when necessary and make adjustments and ADAPT. You’ll still be running around calling people bozos and dickeaters and dykes calling Big Mike for backup when you can’t get the job done, and we can’t forget about that Gawd forsaken bullshit of a contract you have that lets your mediocrity get a pass. It’s truly the only reason you’re even still in this company. And about that title reign, let’s not act like I wasn’t the one carrying Voltage as it’s only legitimate champion while you were making a mockery out of the World Heavyweight Championship.
Chris: Ima call people dickriders and bozos for as long as dickriders and bozos like yourself exist. I just call it like I see it, fuck outta here.
Ahren: You’d like me to “fuck outta here” because then that’d be one less person on this brand who is superior to you in your way. I have bad news though, there’s no way in hell I’ll ever let a situation like your championship reign ever happen again on a brand that I exist on.
Chris: It’s amazing how my dick manages to stay in your mouth. You refer to my championship reign as some black eye in the history of EAW but let’s call it for what it really is. You’re an uncultured bozo who doesn’t relate to me and because I’m not the traditional generic edgy cac that you are I’m automatically written off. I don’t look like you, I don’t talk like you, I don’t act like you, we cut from two completely different cloths and come from two completely different backgrounds and it infuriates you to see me pass your dumbass up. Instead of hating from the sideline why not get in ya bag and level up? But nah you wanna throw shots like I’m not somebody worthy of being taken serious, you constantly worried about my situation and how the fuck I made it to the top and that’s exactly why your stagnant ass has never made it to the top your damn self because you can’t focus on yourself. So this what ima do… ima give you the chance to back all that fly shit you be talking up. Ima give you the chance to prove how “GOAT” you are against Gawd Given Greatness. Pain for Pride was the last time EITHER of us won at a special event, and next Saturday that’s changing. Because I’m officially making me versus you happen at No Regards.
Ahren: You just made the biggest mistake of your life and you won’t live to regret it. You better keep Big Mike close with you to carry your corpse once I’m finished killing what’s left of you. Oh and if he even thinks about laying a hand on me, don’t think I came alone either. I’ll see you out there in a bit.
Chris: Pay close attention to how I do TLA, because that’s your future bitch boy.
(Chris and Big Mike walk off as camera pans back to the ring)
(The camera cuts to Aaron Fitzpatrick in the ring.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: The following contest is scheduled for…
(“Holier Than Heaven” by The Amity Affliction hits to loud boos from the crowd.)
Deadprez: Wow what a monster. Ahren Fournier coming out here unscheduled and depriving the crowd of the chance to chant “ONE FALL!!!” after the ring announcer says it.
Pierre: Truly one of the most disturbing villainous actions I have seen from an EAW Elitist.
(Ahren Fournier makes his way down to ringside to join commentary.)
Deadprez: Hey Ahren how are you feeling after your match last week against Drake King? Are you OK?
Ahren: Oh you got jokes huh? Let me tell you something pleb that was a fluke and I don’t want you or anyone else mentioning it again got it? You will refer to me as the GOAT or nothing at all!
Pierre: Well all that aside… thank you for joining us tonight Ahren I’m sure your commentary will be very informative to our audience here tonight.
(“Odee” by A Boogie hits as Chris Elite makes his entrance with Big Mike.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: Introducing first making his way to the ring from Brooklyn, New York weighing in at 210 pounds accompanied by Big Mike… “The Self Proclaimed Elitist of The Year” CHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIS ELITEEEEEEEE!!!
(Chris Elite makes his way down to the ring to loud cheers from the crowd with Big Mike as he points and laughs at Ahren sitting at the commentary table. Chris Elite flashes the OK symbol at Ahren who appears to be fuming.)
Deadprez: Damn Ahren calm down it’s not that deep.
Ahren: What did I tell you to call me?
Deadprez: Uh my bad… Goat please control yourself.
Ahren: That’s better. Soon Chris Elite will be the one calling me GOAT as well after No Regards. He’s going to pay for daring to fuck with me.
Pierre: Well tonight Chris Elite has his hands full with one of his longest running rivals in the business and is looking to continue his winning streak after his match with Damon Diesel last week. I am sure he is looking to rub it in Ahren’s face as well.
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac hits as TLA makes his entrance in a lowrider and carrying a lead pipe as he watches out for Cody Marshall.)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: And his opponent from Tlaxcala, Mexico by way of the Poon Palace in Miami, Florida weighing in at 210 pounds… “La Pantera Sexual” T!!!!!!!!!!!!! L!!!!!!!!!!!!! A!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: As we saw last week TLA has challenged and will be facing Cody Marshall in a Last Man Standing match at No Regards. He is tired of Cody interfering in his matches and wants to end things once and for all!
Ahren: What we have right here… is a couple of oldheads trying to relive their glory days. When is the last time TLA actually won a match around here… and don’t give me that whole “interference” excuse. It’s clear that both TLA and Chris Elite can’t compete with the modern level of EAW talent so they are having this match here tonight to relive their NWF feud from like 10 years ago. It’s real sad and they should probably both just retire before it gets even more embarrassing.
Pierre: I’m not so sure about that. Chris Elite was just recently the World Heavyweight Champion and TLA has been a number one contender on like five occasions. I’d say that they are still in the prime of their careers and are only getting better!
Ahren: That’s why you’re not the GOAT commentator Pierre.
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: We are underway as Chris Elite and TLA lock up in the ring. TLA shoving Chris back up against the ropes as the referee forces the break. TLA backs off as Elite charges in with a Clothesline but TLA ducks! TLA runs off the ropes… and catches Elite with a Running Headscizzors taking him down! Elite rolls off onto the apron for a second before pulling himself back into the ring. TLA is waiting for him as he pulls himself up and connects with a hard strike to the head! TLA battering Chris Elite up against the ropes as TLA seems extra aggressive here tonight!
Ahren: Beat his bitch ass! Show him he’s no GOAT!
Pierre: Well clearly not all our commentators are as unbiased as the fans here tonight! Both TLA and Chris Elite have their hordes of supporters and this crowd seems pretty evenly divided! TLA continues to hammer Chris Elite up against the ropes before grabbing his head and pulling him back into the ring. TLA hooks the arm of Elite… CROSSED PATHS!!
Deadprez: NO! Chris Elite blocked it! Chris Elite with a hard kick to the leg of TLA before driving his knee hard into his gut! Elite grabs the head of TLA as he tries to force him down to the ground but TLA remains up on his feet! Elite wrenches back hard driving TLA head first with a Modified DDT!!! The cover by Chris Elite!!!
Ahren: The kickout by TLA! If this was me, that cover wouldn’t have even happened. Chris Elite would be done by now!
Pierre: I’m sure he would. Now Chris Elite staying on the attack as he splashes down hard onto the back of TLA on the mat. Elite not letting up as he sits on the back of TLA and drives his knee hard into the upper back and neck of his opponent! TLA pulls himself up to his knees forcing Elite off him as Elite backs off letting TLA rise back up to his feet. Elite charges in… BOX OFFICE SMASH!!!
Deadprez: NO! TLA ducked! Chris Elite crotches himself over the top rope!
Ahren: Not like he has anything there to really feel any pain tho.
Pierre: TLA kicks Chris Elite hard in the side of the leg as he is still up on the ropes. TLA with another kick and another one! Elite falls off onto the apron as TLA runs the ropes… Baseball Slide to Chris Elite sending him off the apron to the outside right in front of us here at the commentary table! TLA runs the ropes yet again as he leaps over the top rope!!! CORKSCREW PLANCHA CONNECTS!!! TLA got a triple rotation on that one! Both men sprawled out here in front of us as the referee begins the 10 count.
Ahren: Just count them both out. Neither of them are GOAT. Also then I can jump this fool…
Deadprez: Both TLA and Chris Elite back up as TLA grabs Elite and tries to whip him back into the ring… But Elite reverses and charges TLA hard goring him… OH SHIT THEY ARE HEADING OUR WAY!!!
(Chris Elite spears TLA hard over the commentary table crashing into Deadprez, Pierre, and Ahren sending them scattering. TLA and Chris Elite continue to trade punches under the table as they continue brawling. The Spanish commentators are shown cheering as they are safe for once on this night.)
Pierre: Oh shit it looks like all hell has broken loose here as TLA and Chris Elite are just throwing everything they got at each other out here on the floor! Both men back up as they brawl into the ring post! Chris Elite hitting the back of his head hard on the ring post as TLA punches him into it! The referee almost at the count out however!!!
Deadprez: TLA pushes Chris Elite back into the ring and follows him in! TLA with a Standing Moonsault as he covers Elite!!!
Pierre: And the kickout by Elite! It looks like Ahren is finally rejoining us at commentary now that things are settling down out here.
Ahren: Did this man just lay hands on the GOAT? He’s going to pay for that…
Deadprez: Ahren NO! Ahren slamming down his headset as he jumps over the table and leaps up to the apron! Ahren trying to interfere in this match! TLA yelling at Ahren to get down and that he has things handled! Wait from behind! Chris Elite with a Rollup on TLA!!! Ahren’s interference just backfired in a big way!!!
Pierre: TLA kicks out! Ahren can’t believe it! The referee now ordering Ahren to get down off the apron! But Chris Elite… BOX OFFICE SMASH!!! ELITE SENDS AHREN OFF THE APRON TO THE OUTSIDE! NO!
Deadprez: I think he missed! Ahren just jumped off the apron just in time to avoid it! WAIT AHREN WATCH OUT!!!
Pierre: BIG MIKE OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A HUGE CLOTHESLINE TAKING AHREN FOURNIER DOWN ON THE OUTSIDE!!!
Deadprez: Chris Elite cheering Big Mike on as he drops the so-called GOAT!!
Pierre: But Chris Elite has a bigger problem to worry about! Elite turns around and gets kicked hard in the gut by TLA! TLA hooks Elite… MEXICAN DESTROYER CONNECTS!!! THE COVER!!!
Deadprez: WAIT IT’S CODY MARSHALL!!! CODY MARSHALL PULLING THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING AND HE CONNECTS WITH A BIG BOOT TO THE SKULL OF THE REF!!! HE’S GONNA BE HELLA FINED FOR THIS!!!
Pierre: TLA looks enraged! He had the match won there! But now Cody Marshall is entering the ring! TLA trading blows with Cody Marshall in the ring! Ahren Fournier back up on the outside as he is fighting with Big Mike now! All hell has broken loose here tonight!!! Ahren Fournier tosses Big Mike over the barricade into the crowd as he lands in the lap of some crying children! TLA in the ring drops Cody Marshall with a Leg Sweep onto the middle rope! TLA runs the ropes… 305 CONNECTS!!! Cody Marshall sent rolling across the ring as he rolls under the bottom rope to the outside!!! TLA leaps back into the ring as he grabs onto the top rope looking to leap over onto Cody Marshall!!!
Deadprez: NO WAIT! CHRIS ELITE IS BACK UP FROM BEHIND!!! LONG KISS GOODNIGHT CONNECTS!!! THE COVER BY CHRIS ELITE! IT’S GOTTA BE OVER!!!
Pierre: But the referee is still down because of that damn Cody Marshall!!! Wait look on the top rope! AHREN FOURNIER IS ON THE TOP ROPE!!! CHRIS ELITE STILL COVERING TLA AS HE SLOWLY RISES… AHREN OFF THE TOP WITH A STORYBOOK ENDING FROM THE TOP ROPE!!! Ahren grabs the referee and throws him into the ring as he grabs TLA’s arm and drapes it over Elite!!! NOT THIS WAY!!!
Deadprez: The referee slowly stirring!!! A slow count!!!
Pierre: Chris Elite kicks out! Ahren can’t believe it! Ahren stomps hard on the back of the referee with another Curb Stomp!!! The fines are getting out of hand here tonight! IT’S CODY MARSHALL!!! CODY MARSHALL GRABS AHREN BY THE THROAT… RAPTURE CONNECTS!!! Look up at the top of the ramp! It’s Hurricane Hawk! The GM is here and he brought a new referee with him! Hawk demanding that Cody Marshall, Ahren Fournier, and Big Mike get the hell out of his arena!!! Cody Marshall and Big Mike begrudgingly leave as Ahren Fournier is shown recovering in the ring from Cody Marshall’s attack!
Deadprez: Ahren Fournier back up… and he is refusing to leave! WAIT CHRIS ELITE!!! BOX OFFICE SMASH CONNECTS TO AHREN SENDING HIM OVER THE TOP TO THE OUTSIDE!!! Chris Elite forcing Ahren to leave as now Big Mike is dragging him up the ramp out of the arena!!!
Chris Elite: Get this dickeating bozo out of here!
Pierre: But Ahren struggles free knocking down Big Mike as he makes his way back down to ringside! Ahren Fournier he spits hard a massive loogey in the face of Chris Elite from the floor connecting right between the eyes! Elite wipes his eyes with a disgusted look on his face as he turns around… TLA LYING IN WAIT! MEXICAN DESTROYER CONNECTS!!! THE COVER!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Aaron Fizpatrick: Here is your winner… T!!!!!!!! L!!!!!!!!!!!!! A!!!!!!!!!!!!
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” hits as TLA has him arm raised for a minute before Cody Marshall levels him from behind with a Big Boot and the music fades out.)
Deadprez: This match was a complete sham as we had interference from every other side! Cody Marshall looking proud of himself as he stands tall in the ring sipping a Budweiser. Meanwhile Ahren Fournier is standing outside the ring mocking Chris Elite with that annoying laugh! He cost this man the match and he is proud of it!
Ahren: Awww Chris… are you OK? I hope you are because that’s the best you can hope for… You will never be a GOAT!
Pierre: Ahren Fournier spitting on Chris Elite once more as he leaves via the crowd to avoid Big Mike returning to the ring to check on Chris. All I can say is that after tonight there is going to be hell to pay at No Regards!!!
(The camera cuts to a commercial for the new EAW Network feature. The Dyke Collection featuring legendary matches from EAW’s greatest dykes including most of Sheridan Muller’s career!!! Watch it today with your EAW Network subscription which is not free to new subscribers because this ain’t no charity.)
(Camera opens back up to Showdown as we see Pierre Mcguire and Deadprez)
Pierre: What a show it’s been so far but I would like to take you to earlier today and my special sitdown interview with Cody Marshall!
(Camera shows a video of Pierre sitting down by himself as he looks around before Cody Marshall walks in and sits down with shades on and he looks completely annoyed)
Pierre: Thanks for joining me at this time Cody!
(Cody looks at Pierre and gives a head nod)
Pierre: So for months, you and TLA have been on this constant path of constantly getting in each others way, what do you attribute this to?
Cody: What the hell do you think it is? Both of us want to be number one, it’s one of those this town ain’t big enough for the two of us things. We are polar opposites, he’s from the bottom and I’m from the US of A reppin old glory, but it’s more than that. Who got beat at Territorial Invasion ? Go ahead answer I’m waiting.
Pierre: Both you and TLA were defeated?
Pierre: I’m lost.
Cody: TLA was the one who got pinned. Therefore the loser of that match is TLA and he is to blame for why I’m not here right now as the EAW Champion.
Pierre: But why is the blame soley on him?
Cody: I was beating Cage’s ass and I was beating TLA’s ass, if TLA wasn’t in the way then a different story. But he’s in my way, like a bug, a little roach that sneaked across this border, and he’s been avoiding my oppressive boot ever since. But I’m afraid that all comes to an end real soon.
Pierre: You’ve heard TLA’s challenge and what is your response?
Cody: Well I obviously accept because I agree, this shit needs an ending and an ending it is going to get. I’m going to beat TLA bloody, I’m going to beat his ass, and I’m going to make sure he can’t stand anymore because as long as he’s standing he’ll consistently get in the way of me trying to get that EAW Championship.
Pierre: So what can we expect out of you come next weekend?
Cody: Expect me to unleash hell on TLA, and hell I might even go with him, but I promise you he ain’t coming back. Are we done here?
Pierre: Thank you for the ti
(Cody is shown getting up)
Cody: You can kiss my ass as well, with your “yOu wErE bOtH DefEated” bullshit, lucky I ain’t slap the piss out of you.
(Cody leaves still talking as Pierre looks on as camera fades back to ringside)
Deadprez: You sure do know how to piss someone off, I’d have paid millions to see Cody slap the piss out of you.
Pierre: Anyways. Intense words from an intense interview but I’m receiving word we have a message from the man facing the Heart Break Boy, next weekend! Malcolm Jones!
(The camera cuts to black and white footage as old-timey piano music plays in the background. A silent movie image appears reading “Malcolm Jones presents: The last days of the Heart Break Boy!”. The camera fades in on a rustic looking study as Malcolm Jones sits down next to a fireplace wearing a bowler hat and monocle while smoking a pipe.)
Malcolm Jones: Ah hello there chaps didn’t see you there! Well while you are having a gander why don’t you sit down and warm yourself next to my fire for awhile as I regale you with tales of yesteryear. What is that you say young whippersnapper? You think that my prose is too archaic for your liking? I shall take you out back behind the woodshed if you give me more lip boy! Sit your posterior down and heed my warnings of old! For those who do not listen to the annals of history are in fact doomed to repeat it! Close your eyes now as we travel back in time to the good old days…
(The camera fades into a scene at the local gymnasium where the jocks are shown working on their musculature stature. Suddenly Malcolm Jones enters wearing an HBB t-shirt and a fake white beard as he hobbles over to a weight bench on a cane and slowly lowers himself to sit down.)
“HBB”: Oh shit my back! Don’t you laugh at me! I have half a mind to…
(“HBB” shakes his cane threatening at some of the young whippersnappers who are mocking him from across the gymnasium.)
“HBB”: Why back in my day we respected our elders! Oh how times have sure changed for the worse! Back in my prime I would have done some things… oh but don’t you worry! I still can! I might not be able to eat solid food, or walk up the stairs on my own… but I am still the EAW Interwire Champion!
(The camera cuts back to Malcolm Jones’ fireplace as he grins at the camera.)
Malcolm Jones: Now you fine spectators may be wondering just what year we are reliving. Don’t you worry your craniums none at all! I wouldn’t take you too far back into these golden years! We are back in those days of October 2018. Truly the end of an era! You see by this point The Heart Break Boy had been in EAW for… well let’s just say it was a long time!
(The camera cuts back to the gym where the young boys are shown lifting a barbell off “HBB’s” neck as it chokes him out.)
“HBB”: I AIN’T NEED NO HELP! I’M MY OWN MAN! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM YOU FILTHY CHILDREN? Oh no wait! Don’t go away! I’m cool! I’m hip! Come back fellow kids! Wow such disrespect for me a long time veteran of the athletic sport of catch-as-catch can rasslin’! Oh I’ve been there from the beginning! Make no mistake about it! I’ve seen it all. Back when I wrestled in Imperial Japan I had all of the waifus swooning over me! Kids these days think that they are so cool with their anime, kung pow chicken, and one true pairings but I was weebing out when it mattered! Who do you think was out there wrestling on the front lines for the troops! Even before that! Back when I was wrestling in the deepest darkest jungles of the Amazon where nary a gentleman of my palest complexion had ever been seen before! Oh they were amazed! They were astounded! Many a savage was enlightened upon that day I do declare sir! What? That is racist you say? Oh you poor little thing! Did big daddy trigger your sad little snowflake sensibilities?
(“HBB” throws one of his knickers across the room at an angry young fetus.)
“HBB”: You want to talk about prejudice! Oh I have seen some things for sure… some things that would truly rustle even the tightest of jimmies! But I would never let such things bring down a man of such import as I. Oh no… they have all come before me! And they have all been crushed beneath the descending boot of my legacy! All have tried! All have failed! Now… only I remain! Malcolm Jones will suffer the same fate! He is weak! He does not have my wisdom, he does not have my strength! For when I was a young boy I was raised to be a strong man! Yet I am still called Heart Break Boy as a reminder! A reminder of the weaknesses I suffered as a young lad growing up with nary a provision in the world! Oh I scraped to survive, and my wisdom pulled me through! Now all my enemies are but dust before me! Malcolm Jones will be the next man who shall fall beneath me as the many wives and mistresses of my enemies have since the dawn of time!
(The camera cuts back to Malcolm Jones in his study.)
Malcolm Jones: Oh you already know this tale young one. For Malcolm Jones did not in fact suffer the same fate. It was a tale as old as time. The passing of the torch. Or should I say the lighting of a new one as The Heart Break Boy’s torch had already faded long long ago… if in fact it had ever been lit in the first place. But this is not how I prefer to remember The Heart Break Boy. I will remember the good times. The few that there actually were. If any. Maybe one… kinda. But a man should not be recalled by his downfall, but by his accomplishments! So you should remember young Malcolm Jones as the most accomplished of all! The moral of the story is thus: Old people need to move aside before it starts getting sad. Because Malcolm Jones now carries that championship with pride. Unstoppable. Undefeated. A happy ending for all! Yet let us now check in with The Heart Break Boy, to see how he dealt with such a tragic blow to his career.
(The camera fades into a graveyard as it slowly zooms in on a small and insignificant looking tombstone reading “Here lies The Heart Break Boy 1754 – 2018. May he rest in peace alone and without his championship. He knows it is now in a better place.”. Malcolm Jones then walks up wearing a formal suit as he drops a bouquet of black roses onto the grave.)
Malcolm Jones: RIP in peace.
(The camera fades to a commercial for the new EAW 2K19 Saudi Arabia DLC. In this exclusive mode the Empire roster will be locked out and sometimes a commentator will be missing from the table possibly dismembered on their way to the arena. But who can say for sure?)
(Camera pans into the arena as “God’s Gonna Cut You Down” by Johnny Cash hits and Cody Marshall makes his way to the ring)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first….from Dallas, Texas, weighing in at 305 pounds… COOOODDDDYYYY MMMAAARRSSHHAALLL!!!
Deadprez: This man is out of control. Last week he and his fellow opponent took part in the main event and it was cut short due to this mans temper. He has a huge match coming up next weekend and he needs some momentum heading into it and he needs to keep his cool and get a huge win against the Interwire Champion. Let’s see if he can keep TLA out of his mind….atleast for ten minutes or so.
(Cody slides in the ring and his theme fades and (“Ice Tray” by Quavo hits as HBB makes his way down the ramp with the Interwire Championship around his waist)
Aaron Fitzpatrick: And his opponent…making his way to the ring…. from Ferguson, Missouri, weighing in at 220 pounds… he is the EAW Interwire Champion… THE HEARRTT BRREAAAKK BBOOYYYY!!!!
Pierre: HBB like Deadprez said earlier took part in that tag match main event last week and was cut short but made a huge statement to Malcolm Jones. The man is on a mission to become the GOAT and he is one step closer with each victory he gets. Just like Cody, HBB has a huge match at No Regards and wants to gain some extra motivation I might say after last week agaisnt one of Showdown’s top elitists.
(HBB steps through the ropes and taunts on the top ropes then hands the Interwire Championship to the referee and begins warming up in his corner)
DING! DING! DING!
Deadprez: Alright this one is underway. This should be a good one here. Young lion Cody vs the crafty veteran HBB. Both men lock up in the center of the ring now and Cody WOAH throws HBB back halfway across the ring overpowering him. HBB looks a bit amused and gets up to both of his feet as Cody gestures him forward. HBB takes small steps towards Cody but Cody seems cautious and HBB with a kick right to Cody’s knee and now HBB hammering at the back of Cody Marshall and HBB connects with a DDT on Cody as Cody is on his knees.
Pierre: HBB not wasting any time as he is like a predator on its prey stomping repeatedly on Cody before the referee forces HBB back but HBB a few seconds later goes right back to it and now lifts Cody to his feet and Cody now drives HBB back and it semds both him and HBB through the middle rope to the outside floor.
Deadprez: That landing looked bad for both men. Cody is up first holding his neck and the referee begins the count.
Deadprez: Cody now grabs the head of HBB and slams his head on the apron sending HBB back. Cody now with the irish whip into the steel steps….and OH GOD HBB REVERSES IT AND SENDS CODY INTO THE SOLID STEEL!!
Pierre: HBB back up to his feet now and slides in the ring for a quick second and out again to break the ten count. Cody is on the other side of the ring and HBB now runs and hops on the steps and leaps himself on to Cody!! BUT CODY CAUGHT HIM!!! CODY LIFTS HBB STRAIGHT UP IN THE AIR!!! RIGHT ON TO THE BARRICADE GOES HBB!! HBB’s RIBS MIGHT BE BROKEN!! Cody now tosses HBB back in the ring slowly and Cody climbs up to the apron and HBB is back up to his feet rather quickly and he dropkicks Cody’s knee and Cody bounces face first off the apron! HBB NOW RUNS TO THE ROPES AND HITS A SUICIDE DIVE TO THE OUTSIDE!!
Deadprez: HBB right away picks up Cody and throws him in the ring and he climbs the turnbuckle…what’s he going to do?! But Cody throws himself on the ropes and HBB loses his balance! OUCH!! Cody now walks over to HBB and is throwing several rights to the head and now climbs the turnbuckle with HBB and looking for a superplex…….IT CONNECTS!!!! THE COVER!!!
Pierre: NO!!! HBB kicks out of it! Cody now trying to get back to his feet and now is measuring HBB up for something awaiting for HBB to rise to his feet…..He grabs HBB by the throat…..HE’S LOOKING FOR RAPTURE…..HBB IN THE AIR!!! BUT HBB I THINK GOT A THUMB TO THE EYE!! THE THE REFEREE WAS IN THE BLIND SPOT AND DIDN’T SEE IT!! HBB runs tot he ropes and goes for the driving elbow and it connects!! But Cody stays on his feet….and HBB goes for it again but OH CODY CONNECTS ALSO AND IT IS A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!! BOTH MEN DOWN!!
Deadprez: Both men are stirring to get back to their feet and HBB seems to be up just a tad bit quicker and the ROLLUP!!
Deadprez: CODY KICKS OUT! BOTH ARE UP AND HBB TRIES TO QUICKLY HIT GOLDPRINT!! BUT CODY CATCHES THE FOOT OF HBB!! NOW HE HAS HBB’S LEG HOOKED IN A BELLY TO BELLY POSITION…GERMAN SUPLEX!! HBB rolls to the outside apron and pulls himself up from outside the ropes and CODY CHARGES!! ENZIGUIRI TO THE HEAD OF CODY AND CODY IS DOWN!! HBB CLIMBS THE TURNBUCKLE RIGHT NEXT TO HIM….THE HEARTBREAK ELBOW CONNECTS!!!
Pierre: But wait…….WHAT THE?! ON THE STAGE…..MALCOLM JONES!
(Malcolm Jones makes his way tot he ring slowly as HBB pulls himself up the ropes staring a hole through Malcolm)
Deadprez: Malcolm hasn’t forgotten what HBB did to him last week and OH CODY WITH THE ROLLUP!!!!
Pierre: NO!! NO!! BOTH BOTH MEN GET UP AND HBB RUNS RIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF CODY MARSHALL….RAPTURE!!!! DOES CODY HAVE IT?!?!
DING! DING! DING!
(“God’s Gonna Cut You Down” by Johnny Cash hits as Cody rolls out of the ring and gets his hand raised as he makes his way up the ramp with him and Malcolm exchanging a look before Cody quickly exits)
Fitazpatrick: HERE IS YOUR WINNER….COOOOODDDYYY MMARRSSHHALLLL!!!
Deadprez: Cody picked up a huge win here tonight pinning the Interwire Champion! HBB on the other hand let Malcolm get into his head and the momentum might be swinging in the other direction after that one.
(FINAL COMMERCIAL BREAK – Operation Doomsday on DEMAND only on the EAWNetwork)
(Showdown opens up to “Shook Ones” By Mobb Deep hitting to a big ovation from the crowd as Scott Diamond is shown making his way down to the ring in his usual track suit sporting a beard with a serious demeanor on his face as he continues walking his way down to the ring)
Pierre: This has been an interesting reignited rivalry! Cage and Scott have never liked each other, it’s been weeks of Scott asking for a shot and it’s like the trigger of Cage picking the stipulation made Cage jump at the opportunity of facing Scott. You have to wonder if that will backfire on Scott Diamond because if Cage is the picking the stipulation it has to be something that will compromise him dearly come No Regards.
Deadprez: Cage was ducking this fight cause he knew he couldn’t beat Scott Diamond in a straight up fight, EAW has changed and the game has changed, but if it’s a bloodsport Cage wants then it’s a bloodsport he’ll get and I’m sure and positive that he’ll meet his end at the hands of a man who just wants to fight and he’s done with this sugar coating shit!
(Scott enters the ring and is handed a microphone as the crowd waits in anticipation for what he has to say)
Scott: Who would’ve thought I’d have to bend over backwards basically for Cage to give me a match at his EAW Championship. It took me giving him the opportunity to pick the environment we fight in, and that got some questions in my mind running rampant, like why Cage? Why is that what it took to get you to defend the belt? Are you losing belief in yourself? Do you need some kind of edge? Because whatever edge you thought you had, you saw how fast it could all be over when I lifted you on my shoulders and planted you right into this mat. You know I’m not one for talking, and as you can tell I am not a patient man. You are making me wait, you’ve made me wait until the end of this show and I’m not leaving until you come out here and you tell me what kind of violent hardcore fetish match you have that is bubbling inside of that head of yours. So please Cage, don’t keep the crowd waiting, save us the bullshit and just come out here and tell me which hill you picked to die on next weekend.
(“Smells Like Teen Spirit” By Nirvana hits as Diamond Cage enters to a big ovation from the crowd and he has the EAW Championship in his hand as he immediately enters the ring and gets nose to nose with Scott before he gets a microphone)
Cage: Scott, it would be really easy for me to take this EAW Championship and smash it over your head. But I’m not going to brawl with you, I’m not even going to pay you back for that cheap shot last week, I’m going to give you six days to think about what I’m going to do to you. Because before I tell you what this match is going to be, let me make it perfectly clear that YOU need this match, I don’t need it, let me also make it perfectly clear that I’ve fought you before and I don’t see a difference in you. I don’t see the threat, but you need this match and you got it not because of my bloodthirsty intentions, you got this match because maybe you are a blessing in disguise and I’m not the most righteous man in this world and I sure as hell don’t care for any alleged god floating above my head, but maybe you are the cement to what I already know, to what I’ve already proven, I’m better than the best in the world. I’m the number one undisputed champion in EAW. I am EAW, I am what this company is suppose to be about, balls on the table, giving it every single thing you have. If you did it, they’d call it legendary, since Diamond Cage did it, it’s considered violence. My brand of violence has led me to be the EAW Champion for one hundred plus days in fucking counting, longer than both your title reigns combined Scott. You need this match because you realize who is the top dog in this company, it isn’t Theron Nikolas, it sure as hell isn’t Rex McAllister because I beat him, it’s Diamond fucking Cage. Everyone can talk all about the blood and guts all they want but they will never talk about how no matter what I get the job done and as long as I’m breathing I’ll get the job done for this EAW Championship. With that being said, there’s a special place in hell for guys like us Scott, like I said I’m not a righteous man, and you are every bit the scumbag I am, that’s why these people like us, because we are dirty sick individuals who are capable of such depravity that it promotes a cult following. Were modern day Charles Manson.
Scott: Difference between me and you Cage is I don’t go to great lengths to get an advantage, I am the damn advantage, we both know our past, they aren’t perfect, but as for my future, my future is in my hands and it’s also in your hands and I don’t mean the stipulation decision, I mean the EAW Championship itself.
Cage: Like I said, it’s a special place hell for guys like us Scott and I went through hell and back for this championship and I don’t mind doing it again. Next Weekend, me and you, we are going to hell for this championship and we’ll see if you can write your future because I want to fight you, inside HELL IN A CELL!
(The crowd roars at the challenge from Diamond Cage as Scott Diamond shoots Cage a look as Cage doesn’t bat an eye and continues staring at Scott Diamond)
Cage: I’ve never been inside the Cell, and I can’t think of a better place to die for this EAW Championship than inside of that cell. And that’s what it is going to take to get this championship off of Diamond Cage, you’ll have to kill me and so many have tried to get rid of Diamond Cage including yourself but nobody has been able to keep up and finish the damn job, you’ve hunted a man you can’t kill and you picked a war, this is personal. Whenever the EAW Championship is involved it’s personal, call me nuts, call me fucking insane, out of my mind, whatever the hell but you will recognize me as the undisputed EAW Champion.
Scott: So be it.
(Cage drops the mic and raises the EAW Championship as the crowd begins to cheer as “Smells Like Teen Spirit” picks back up as both men begin trading barbs back and forth)
Pierre: THINGS JUST GOT BIGGER THAN WE COULD HAVE EVER EXPECTED! AT NO REGARDS!! HELL IN A CELL RETURNS! AND IT’S GOING TO BE DIAMOND CAGE VS SCOTT DIAMOND INSIDE OF THAT STRUCTURE FOR THE EAW CHAMPIONSHIP!!
Deadprez: I CAN’T WAIT!! THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT, THE END OF DIAMOND CAGE! SCOTT DIAMOND IS SO DETERMINED THAT HE DOESN’T CARE WHAT THE STIPULATION WAS BUT NOW THAT HE KNOWS, CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT THESE TWO ARE GOING TO DO INSIDE OF THAT STRUCTURE?
Pierre: Everything we’ve seen in past Hell in a Cell’s are we in for something drastic? Find out next week, as we bring you the Showdown Supershow! NO REGARDS!!
(Diamond Cage slides out of the ring and storms up the ramp as Scott Diamond looks on and Cage turns for one last look as camera fades to black)
(EAW Logo Buzzes)