( EAW Intro plays )
( The screen goes to black )
Narrator: The SEVEN stages of Hell.
( A panel of black steel chains appears on the screen as previous Road to Redemption moments are played )
Narrator: Six competitors…
( The faces of various competitors from the two Extreme Elimination Chambers are shown )
Narrator: One Chamber.
( The moments in the panels fade out and in fades an image of the Elimination Chamber )
Narrator: Blood will be shed, careers certainly shortened, all for one prize, one goal… and IF you should survive…
Narrator: You deserve it all.
( A maniacal laugh can be heard in the background as the camera cuts to black )
Narrator: And now… EAW presents… ROAD TO REDEMPTION SEVEN!!
( Camera fades into the arena as a huge barrage of pyro begins to shoot off. “Road to Destruction” by EndeverafteR begins to play in the background as the pyro ends. The camera begins panning around the screaming fans before it settles in on Stew-O and The Heart Break Gal )
Stew: AND THIS IS IT FOLKS!! NEARING THE END OF THE YEAR AND IT’S TIME TO WELCOME YOU TO ONE OF THE BIGGEST AND CERTAINLY MY FAVORITE EVENT OF THE YEAR… ROAD TO REDEMPTION!! Stew-O and The Heart Break Gal here to call the Dynasty side of the action… and HBG, of course we have the traditional Extreme Elimination Chamber… but we have MUCH more!
HBG: We have a match that I’ve been looking forward to for quite some time, Mr. DEDEDE will take on Diamond Cage in what has turned out to be one of the if not the most personal and heated feud EAW’s ever seen… and that’s saying something!
Stew: That plus the highly anticipated bout between Jaywalker and Liam Catterson. Now let’s send it over to our colleagues on the Showdown side!
( Camera pans over to Flashback and Mak )
Flashback: Thanks Stew! Mak… Showdown has been without a World Heavyweight Champion for quite some time, over a month!… But that all ends tonight as we will crown a new World Heavyweight Champion inside the Extreme Elimination Chamber!
Mak: All I can say is… it’s about damn time!
( Ominous music plays throughout the arena as lights flash throughout the arena as the Extreme Elimination Chamber is slowly lowered to ringside )
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL and it is an EXTREME ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH! ….AND IT IS FOR THE EXTREME ANSWERZ WRESTLING ANSWERS CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WOOOOOOOORLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!! In this match, the first four men to enter the chamber will take their place in a chamber pod, while the last two men entering will begin this match, at every five minute intervals, a chamber pod will be opened by random …There are TWO ways to win this match, the first way is by eliminating your opponent via pinfall or submission, the last man not eliminated will be declared the winner! The only other way to win this match is to scale the chamber and retrieve the Answers World Champion that is hanging from the top of the Elimination Chamber!
Ring Announcer: I have also received word from the interim chairman, WWEFan, that Louisiana’s own and EAW’s Interwire Champion, Carlos Rosso, HAS BEEN MADE THE SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE FOR THIS MATCH!
( ‘’Keeps Me Burning’’ by Masterplan plays throughout the arena as Carlos Rosso walks out with a referees T-Shirt on him, Carlos embraces members of the crowd before entering the chamber )
**The lights in the arena shut off**
( A parade of golden pyro shoots up from the stage as ‘’Hats Off To The Bull’’ by Chavelle plays as Y2Impact steps out onto the stage, wearing golden tights and carrying a barbed wire baseball bat )
Ring Announcer: First, making his way down to the ring, from Seattle, Washington, he is weighing in tonight at 226lbs, he is the CURRENT REIGNING AND DEFENDING EAW ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION …..’THE QUINTESSENTIAL CHAMPION’ …..Y2IMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPACCCCCCCCCCCT!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Well, the champion is guaranteed a spot in that chamber pod and I think Y2Impact has EVERY right to be confident heading into this match, he is the only man to win THREE Elimination Chambers in the history of EAW! He’s been undefeated since House of Glass and tonight, he can finally get his hands on Scott Diamond and potentially put this feud to bed.
( ‘’In The Air Tonight’’ by Phil Collins plays throughout the building as Scott Diamond steps out onto the stage, pounding on his chest and letting out a huge roar as he makes his way down to the ring )
Ring Announcer: And, entering second he is hailing from Long Island, New York, weighing in at 240lbs …HE IS THE ‘IRONFIST ….SCOTTTTTTTT DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!
HBG: Honestly, no matter what your opinion of this guy is, I don’t think you can doubt his impressive FPV record this year, defeated Dark Demon at Pain for Pride, defeated Mr DEDEDE at Midsummer Massacre, defeated Y2Impact at House of Glass …Scott is a manbeast and locked in that chamber, I honestly believe you CAN NOT overlook him in this match!
( ‘’Bulls On Parade’’ by Rage Against The Machine plays throughout the building as Johnny Ventura walks out onto the stage with a Guy Fawkes mask on his face, Ventura pulls out lead-pipe nunchucks with nails on them as he pulls off his mask and enters the chamber )
Ring Announcer: And his entering third, from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 235lbs …HE IS JOOOOOHNYYYYYYYYYYYY VENTURRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Johnny Ventura has been described as a ‘weak link’ in this match but I’ll be honest, I firmly believe that Johnny excels better when he is the underdog, his 2013 Grand Rampage win only backs that up, Johnny could end a real breakout year tonight with a win tonight!
( ‘’What Have I Done’’ by Linkin Park plays throughout the building as Alex Anderson walks out wearing a green hood, Alex steps half-way down the ramp, pulling off his hood to reveal a bow and arrow )
Ring Announcer: And entering the last pod, he is from Lahore, Pakistan, weighing in tonight at 227 pounds …HE IS ….ALEXXXXXXXXXXXXX ANDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRSOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Well I was talking to Alex earlier tonight and that arrow is no ordinary, its not a deadly arrow or anything that could get through your body to kill you BUT once that arrow hits you, it releases vast quantities of salt and if you are bleeding or have any wounds, well I’d hate to be you…
( ‘’Headstrong’’ by Trapt plays throughout the building as Starr-Stan steps out to the ring, wearing NO headgear with a Ball and Chain in his hand, red, white and blue pyro shoots off behind Starr )
Ring Announcer: And, the first man to start off the match, he is from Pittsburgh, PA, weighing in tonight at 240lbs, he is …E-FEDS ONLY OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST….STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR STANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HBG: Starr Stan has been such a painful, such a long road to what he believes is HIS redemption, he came within INCHES of winning the title at House of Glass, he wasn’t able to fully compete in the Battle Royale due to a concussion, Starr’s embarked on a very violent, very personal war with Dark Demon and his followers, Lucian Black, Toxic and Eddie Mack ..tonight is Starrs chance for a shot at redemption, a shot to finally get what he believes he deserves!
( ‘’Natural Born Killaz’’ by Dr Dre ft Ice Cube plays throughout the building as the lights shut off, allowing several spotlights to flash around the building as Dark Demon steps out, wearing ‘Joker’ akin face paint as he walks out carrying a railroad spike )
Ring Announcer: And the second man to start this match, he is from ‘Who The Fuck Cares’, weighing in tonight at 225lbs he is ….THE ‘’WIDOWMAKER’’ …..DARRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK DEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HBG: Whelp, one year ago at this very event, at this very chamber, Dark Demons World Heavyweight Championship reign was officially (thankfully) finished at the hands of Zack Crash eliminating him ..ever since then, well, he’s descended slowly into madness as you can probably see from how violent he’s been in the last two months.
( Ding! Ding! Ding! )
Stew-O: This match is officially under way as BOTH DEMON AND STARR CHARGE AT EACH OTHER, STARR SWINGS THAT BALL AT DEMON’S HEAD!! BUT DEMON DUCKS UNDERNEATH IT AS STARR DROPS THE BALL AND SWINGS AROUND AS DEMON STABS STARR IN THE FOREHEAD WITH THAT RAILROAD SPIKE!! But Starr ducks underneath it, grabbing Demon into a waist lock as STARR CONNECTS WITH THE GERMAN SUPLEX!! …Demon rolls out of the ring, onto the chamber floor as Starr is quick to follow, Starr lifts Demon up and WHIPS HIM INTO THE CHAMBER WALL!! Starr now charges at Demon but Demon ducks and LIFTS STARR UP INTO THE AIR, CONNECTING WITH A FLAPJACK LIKE MOVE AS STARR IS SENT FACE FIRST INTO THE WALL OF THE CHAMBER! AND DEMON QUICKLY FOLLOWS IT UP WITH A STANDING SPINEBUSTER AS STARR IS SENT BACK/HEAD FIRST INTO THE FLOOR OF THE CHAMBER!!
HBG: Demon wastes no time, as he quickly lifts Starr up and pulls him in, OH GOD!! DEMON IS LOOKING FOR A PILEDRIVER ON THE FLOOR OF THE CHAMBER!! HE REALLY IS PLANNING ON KILLING STARR STA—BUT STARR COUNTERS IT WITH A BACKBODY DROP!! STARR SENDS DEMON FLYING INTO THE FLOOR OF THE CHAMBER BACK FIRST!! …Demon is roaring in pain as the pain shoots right back to his feet but Starr grabs him by the head AND RAMS DEMON HEAD FIRST INTO THE POD OF SCOTT DIAMOND!! OVER AND OVER AGAIN BY STARR, STARR’S TRYING TO CRACK THAT POD OPEN WITH DEMONS HEAD!! Starr finally stops as Demon falls into the ring, Starr follows him back in as Demon crawls to the turnbuckle, clutching his head as Starr picks up his ball and chain and Starr has some evil intentions here Stew with that Ball and Chain ….
Stew-O: STARR SWINGS THAT BALL AT THE HEAD OF DARK DEMON!!! BUT DEMON KICKS STARR IN THE GROIN!! DEMON KICKED HIM IN THE GROIN, OUT OF PURE DESPERATION!! DEMON SHOOTS TO HIS FEET AND NAILS THE CYCLONE KILL!!! DEMON NAILED THE CYCLONE KILL!! ROLLING BIG BOOT CONNECTS INTO THE FACE OF STARR, STARR STUMBLES BACKWARDS, STARR WON’T GO DOWN AS DEMON CHARGES AT HIM WITH A RUNNING ROLLING ELBOW!!! BUT STARR DUCKS UNDER, LIFTING DEMON UP FOR THE OLYMPIC SLAM!!! BUT DEMON DROPS OFF STARRS SHOULDERS AND …NAILS THE HANGMAN’S ELBOW!!! ROLLING ELBOW INTO THE BACK OF STARR-STANS HEAD!!!! STARR FALLS OUT OF THE RING, STARR FALLS OUT OF THE RING AS DEMON FALLS BACKWARDS, WE ONLY ONE MORE MINUTE UNTIL THE NEXT POD OPENS!!
HBG: Carlos is checking on both men, his job is to only count or call for the submission but if somebody is KO’d, he can eliminate them …Starr is pulling himself up, I have no idea how but he refuses to stay d—BUT DEMON CHARGES AND NAILS THE TOPE CON DEMON!!!! RUNNING SOMERSAULT THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPE!!! STARRSTAN AND DEMON SENT CRASHING INTO THE WALL OF THE CHAMBER!!!! BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY, BOTH MEN ARE DOWN IN A HEAP ON THE FLOOR!!! DEMON TOOK EACH OTHER OUT AS THE MINUTE IS WINDING DOWN, WE’RE GONNA HAVE OUR FIRST ENTRANT FROM THOSE PODS NOW ……
( 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! BUZZ!!!! )
( Several lights flash over the chamber pods before eventually landing on …Y2Impact’s! )
Stew-O: Here comes the Answers World Champion but Impact stops as he comes out of the pod, Impact grabs something out of his boot and is that a …A LIGHTER??? IMPACT MUST HAVE PRE-SOAKED HIS BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT WITH LIGHTER FLUID, IMPACT PRE-SOAKED HIS BAT AS HE LIGHTS THE BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT ON FIRE!! THAT IS INGENIUS BY THE WORLD CHAMPION AND WE GOT FIRE IN THIS DEMONIC CHAMBER!! DARK DEMON IS GETTING TO HIS FEET BUT Y2IMPACT SWINGS THAT FLAMING BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT BETWEEN THE EYES OF DARK DEMON!!! OH MY GOD!!! DEMON QUICKLY GOES DOWN, CLUTCHING HIS FACE AS IMPACT ALMOST TOOK HIS FACE OFF WIT THAT SHOT!! STARR IS STILL DOWN BUT IMPACT GOES TOWARDS HIM AND OH GOD NO!! IMPACT IS ATTEMPTING TO BRAND STARR WITH THAT FLAMING BARBED BASEBALL BAT!!! IMPACT GRINDS THE FLAMING BAT INTO STARRS FACE!!!! HE’S BURNING STARRSTANS FACE WITH THAT FUCKING BARBED WIRE BAT!!!
HBG: HOLY SHIT!!! STARR IS ROLLING IN PAIN, HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN BRANDED FOR LIFE BY IMPACT AS DARK DEMON IS GETTING UP TO HIS FEET BUT IMPACT SWINGS THE FLAMING BARBED WIRE BAT INTO HIS MIDSECTION!!! IMPACT DROPS THE BAT, GRABBING DARK DEMON AND PULLS HIM IN!!! OH FUCKING HELL!!!! Y2IMPACT WITH THE JUMPING DDT!!!! JUMPING DDT AS DEMONS HEAD IS SENT INTO THAT FLAMING BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT!!!! OH MY GOD!!! DEMON IS ROLLING IN PAIN, HE’S BEEN BUSTED OPEN AND POSSIBLY HAS THIRD DEGREE BURNS AS Y2IMPACT QUICKLY COVERS DARK DEMON, HOOKING BOTH LEGS!!!
Carlos: ONE!!!!!!! ……..TWO!!!!!!!!!!!! ……NO!!! DEMON WITH THE LEFT SHOULDER UP!!
Stew-O: Y2Impact gets back up to his feet BUT STARR TACKLES IMPACT FROM BEHIND!! STARR GRABS IMPACT AND RAMS HIM HEAD FIRST INTO THE CHAMBER POD!!! IMPACT IS SENT HEAD FIRST INTO HIS OWN POD AS HIS HEAD BOUNCES OFF THE BULLET PROOF GLASS!! STARR AGAIN RAMS IMPACTS HEAD OFF THE GLASS POD!! Impact drops to a knee as Starr throws Impact into the ring, Impact is attempting to get to his feet but Starr grabs him — GERMAN SUPLEX!! NO!! IMPACT FLIPS OVER IN MID-AIR, LANDING PERFECTLY ON HIS FEET AS IMPACT GRABS STARR AND CONNECTS WITH THE HANGMANS NECKBREAKER!! Impact drops Starr to the mat as Impact gets to one knee as Impact RUNS TO THE ROPES AND LOOKS FOR THE LIONSAULT ON STARRSTAN!!! BUT NO!! DARK DEMON SWUNG THAT BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT INTO IMPACTS FACE AS SOON AS IMPACT GOT ON THE ROPES!!! THE FLAME WENT OUT BUT IMPACT IS DROPPED TO THE MAT, CLUTCHING HIS FACE IN PAIN!!
HBG: Demon has been busted wide open, half of his face is drenched in blood already, he’s a mixture of that Joker face paint and his own blood as he comes back into the ring …Starr is getting to his feet BUT DEMON RUNS AND SWINGS THAT BARBED WIRE BAT INTO STARRS FACE!!! STARR GOES DOWN, DEMON DROPS TO HIS KNEES IN PAIN BUT DEMON GRINDS THAT BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT INTO STARRS FOREHEAD!!! DEMON GRINDS IT ALL AROUND STARRS FOREHEAD, TRYING TO CAUSE STARR TO BLEED FROM HIS FOREHEAD!!! BUT STARR IS LIFTING HIMSELF TO HIS FEET, AS DEMON CONTINUES TO GRIND THAT BAT INTO HIS FOREHEAD!!! AND STARR CHARGES INTO THE ROPES, BENDING OVER AND CAUSING DEMON TO FLIP OVER THE ROPES AND LAND BACK FIRST ON THE CHAMBER FLOOR!!! OH MY GOD, STARR FALLS TO THE MAT, HIS FACE QUICKLY BECOMING COVERED IN BLOOD!!!
( 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! BUZZ!!! )
( Several lights flash around in the arena as the lights eventually land on ..Scott Diamond’s pod! )
Stew-O: The ‘Ironfist’ Scott Diamond is free here, Scott quickly lifts up Dark Demon and WITHOUT EVEN THINKING, SCOTT CONNECTS WITH A BELLY TO BACK SUPELX!!! DEMON IS SENT CRASHING INTO THE WALL OF THE CHAMBER!!! Scott smirks as he gets into the ring, Starr is slightly getting to his feet but Scott grabs him and pulls STARR IN —-NAILING THE BLACK HOLE SLAM!!!! STARRSTAN IS DRIVEN INTO THE MAT!!! Scott unleashes a roar, he’s feeling really confident tonight but Y2Impact swings Scott around and begins to nail him with fists! Scott and Impact are both exchanging blows in the middle of the ring, Scott whips Impact off the ropes and Impact comes back FOR A SPINEBUSTER BY SCOTT!!! BUT IMPACT COUNTERS IT INTO A TORNADO DDT!!! Y2IMPACT DRIVES SCOTT HEAD FIRST INTO THE MAT!! AND IMPACT QUICKLY LOCKS IN A TRIANGLE CHOKE HOLD ON SCOTT!!! IMPACT HAS IT LOCKED IN ON SCOTT!!! THIS IS A NEW MOVE FOR IMPACT BUT SCOTT HAS NOWHERE TO GO, HE’S TRAPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING AS Y2IMPACT TIGHTENS THE TRIANGLE LOCK!!!
HBG: SCOTT IS LOSING OXYGEN HERE AS IMPACT CONTINUES TO CHOKE HIM OUT!! THE ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION IS SCREAMING AT SCOTT TO TAP OUT!!! BUT SCOTT IS LIFTING HIMSELF TO HIS FEET, WHAT?!? SCOTT IS SHOWING INCREDIBLE SIGNS OF STRENGTH HERE AS HE FULLY STANDS UP BUT IMPACT CONTINUES TO HAVE THE TRIANGLE CHOKE LOCKED IN ON SCOTT!! SCOTT THOUGHT NAILS A POWERBOMB ON IMPACT!!!! BUT IMPACT STILL HAS IT LOCKED IN!!! IMPACT STILL KEEPS THE TRIANGLE CHOKE LOCKED IN!!! SCOTT AGAIN LIFTS IMPACT UP, A SECOND POWERBOMB SENDING IMPACT TO THE MAT!!! BUT IMPACT WON’T LET GO!!! IMPACT TIGHTENS HIS GRIP, CHOKING SCOTT OUT FURTHER!!! HOW LONG CAN SCOTT CONTINUE TO STAY IN THIS??? SCOTT DROPS A KNEE, HE’S ALMOST OUT OF LIFE NOW!! SCOTT MIGHT HAVE TO TAP OUT, Y2IMPACT MIGHT MAKE SCOTT TAP OUT!!! BUUUUUTT NO!!! SCOTT AGAIN GETS TO HIS FEET, WITH IMPACT HANGING ON AND SCOTT STUMBLES FORWARD ——OH MY GOD!!!!! OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS CHRIST!!!! SCOTT DIAMOND POWERBOMBS IMPACT THROUGH THE CHAMBER POD!!!
Stew-O: IMPACT IS SENT FLYING THROUGH THE POD!!!! IMPACT SMASHED THROUGH BULLETPROOF GLASS, HE’S LYING IN BROKEN GLASS, SCOTT MAY HAVE DESTROYED Y2IMPACT WITH THAT RUNNING POWERBOMB THROUGH THE POD!!! IMPACT IS LYING IN BROKEN GLASS, THAT BROKEN SHARDS OF GLASS CUTTING AND SLICING INTO HIS SKIN!! IMPACT MAYBE DONE HERE, BUT SCOTT SLUMPS INTO THE CORNER, HE’S OUT OF IT DUE TO THE TRIANGLE CHOKE ANDDDDD BAM!!! DARK DEMON NAILS SCOTT DIAMOND IN THE FACE WITH A RUNNING MAFIA KICK TO THE CORNER!!! AND DEMON PULLS SCOTT IN —DEMON DDT!! DARK DEMON CONNECTING WITH THE SPINNING LIFTING DDT AS SCOTT IS PLANTED INTO THE MAT, COVER BY DEMON!!
Carlos: ONE!!!!! …..TWO!!!!! …..NO!!!!! SCOTT KICKS OUT!!!!
HBG: SO CLOSE!! Demon crawls over, his face has been burned and is bloody due to Y2Impact but Demon grabs the barbed wire baseball bat and places it on the face of Scott as Demon crawls to the turnbuckle, Demon is climbing up the turnbuckle! …Demon is on top of the turnbuckle, but he climbs up the pod! DARK DEMON IS STANDING ATOP OF THE CHAMBER POD, SCOTT DIAMOND HAS THAT BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT ON HIS FACE AND I …I DON’T THINK DEMON FORGETS ABOUT PAIN FOR PRIDE, ABOUT WHAT SCOTT DID UP AND AT PAIN FOR PRIDE TO DEMON!! DEMON LEAPS OFF THE CHAMBER POD!!!!!! DEMON STOMP!!!! DIVING DOUBLE FOOT STOMP INTO THE BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT THAT WAS ON FACES SCOTT!!! SCOTT’S FACE HAS BEEN LACERATED BY THE BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT!!!! SCOTT’S FACE HAS BEEN CUT OPEN AND HE’S BLEEDING!!! BOTH MEN ARE ROLLING IN PAIN, HOLY SHIT …IS THERE ANYTHING THAT THESE GUYS WON’T DO TO EACH OTHER?!?
( 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! ..BUZZ!! )
( The lights flash all around the chamber, landing eventually on ….Johnny Ventura’s chamber! )
Stew-O: Here comes Johnny Ventura! Johnny Ventura quickly enters the ring, with those lead-pipe nunchucks with nails on them, Starr-Stan is up to his feet as JOHNNY IS LOOKING TO ATTACK STARR WITH THAT KILLER-LIKE WEAPON!! But Starr is pleading with Johnny, begging him not to do it! Starr is trying to convince him not to do it, Starr talking up Johnny and how they used to team and …I think Starr is trying to get Johnny to team with him in this match! Starr that weapon on Demon and Demon is getting to his feet AS JOHNNY SWINGS THE LEAD-PIPE NUNCHUCKS WITH NAILS ON THEM INTO THE FACE OF DEMON!!! OH MY GOD!!!! DEMON INSTANTLY FALLS TO THE MAT, CLUTCHING HIS FACE!!! THOSE NAILS PIERCED INTO HIS FACE, DEMON IS PUMPING BLOOD!!! A POOL OF BLOOD IS ALREADY POURING ONTO THE MAT FROM DEMONS FACE!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! DEMON IS LOSING BLOOD AT A VERY RAPID PACE AT THE MOMENT, I THINK HE NEEDS EMT ASSISTANCE!!! HE DESPERATELY NEEDS EMT ASSISTANCE!!!! THE POOL OF BLOOD IS GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER!!!
HBG: BUT LOOK AT THIS!!!!! STARR-STAN WITH THE OLYMPIC SLAM ONTO JOHNNY!!!! WHAT?!?! STARRSTAN DRIVES JOHNNY INTO THE MAT WITH THE OLYMPIC SLAM!!!! STARR FOOLED JOHNNY, STARR TRICKED JOHNNY INTO ATTACKING DEMON AND STARR DIDN’T WANNA TEAM WITH JOHNNY AT ALL, HE JUST WANTED THAT WEAPON TO BE USED ON DEMON!!! STARR NOW GRABS THE BALL AND CHAIN, DRAGGING TO THE ROPES, PUTTING HIS ONE HAND ON THE BOTTOM ROPE, LOCKING JOHNNY’S HAND AND THE BOTTOM ROPE WITH THE CHAIN!! JOHNNY IS TRAPPED!!! JOHNNY VENTURA HAS NOWHERE TO GO AS STARRSTAN IS TRASH TALKING JOHNNY, STARR GRABS THE ANKLE OF JOHNNY AND LOCKS IN THE ANKLE LOCK!!!!! ANKLE LOCK AND JOHNNY VENTURA’S HAND IS CHAINED TO THE BOTTOM ROPE, HE CAN’T ESCAPE FROM THIS!!!!
Stew-O: WHAT THINKING BY STARRSTAN!!! JOHNNY COULDN’T ESCAPE EVEN IF HE WANTED TOO, THERE ARE NO ROPE BREAKS, ALL JOHNNY CAN DO IS TAP WITH HIS ONE FREE HAND!! JOHNNY IS TRYING TO FIGHT THIS BUT TO WHAT AVAIL?!?! STARR IS TIGHTENING THE HOLD!!!! JOHNNY REFUSES TO TAP OUT, YOU GOTTA ADMIRE THE GUTS OF THIS KID TO KEEP ON FIGHTING BUT HE CAN’T GO ANYWHERE, STARR WILL BREAK HIS ANKLE IF HE HAS TOO!!! AND JOHNNY, WITH NO CHOICE, NOTHING LEFT TO DO, TAPS OUT!!!! JOHNNY VENTURA TAPS OUT TO STARR-STANS ANKLE LOCK!!!
Ring Announcer: Johnny Ventura has been eliminated by Starr-Stan!
HBG: Carlos is trying desperately to help Johnny free, he might have a broken ankle after that as Starr drops to his knees, he’s still a bloody mess as he looks to see where Demon is, where Impact is, where Scott i—WAIT!!! LOOK, AS SOON AS THE CHAMBER DOOR WAS OPENED TO GET JOHNNY OUT, TOXIC, EDDIE MACK AND LUCIAN BLACK STORM INTO THE CHAMBER!!!! WHERE THE HELL DID THEY COME FROM!?!? THEY JUST STORMED IN LIKE FLIES, AS MACK AND TOXIC ARE BEATING ON STARR!!! STARR IS TRYING TO FIGHT BACK BUT THE NUMBERS ARE TOO MUCH!! TOXIC NAILS STARR RIGHT IN THE KISSER WITH THE MOMENT OF SILENCE!!! THE SUPERKICK!!! BLACK STEPS OUT OF THE CHAMBER, WALKING A TINY BIT UP THE RAMP, AS HE COMES BACK DRAGGING A BARBED WIRE GLASS TABLE INTO THE RING, OH C’MON!! BLACK LEANS THE BARBED WIRE GLASS TABLE UP BY THE TURNBUCKLE, EDDIE MACK IS BANDAGING DEMON UP, TRYING TO STOP THE BLOOD COMING OUT OF HIS HEAD AS OH SHIT!!! TOXIC IS POURING GASOLINE ONTO THE BARBED WIRE GLASS TABLE!!! TOXIC GRABS THE LIGHTER IMPACT USED EARLIER AND SETS THE BARBED WIRE GLASS TABLE IN FLAMES!!! IT SHOOTS UP IN FLAMES!!!!
Stew-O: TOXIC LIFTS UP STARR AS LUCIAN BLACK CHARGES!!!!!!!!!!! SPEAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPEAAARRRRR THROUGH THE FUCKING FLAMING BARBED WIRE GLASS TABLE!!! STARR-STAN JUST GOT SPEARED DIRECTLY THROUGH IT!!! STARR-STAN IS LAYING IN THE BURNED BARBED WIRE, ITS CUTTING EVEN MORE INTO HIS SKIN, HIS BODY HAS BEEN BURNED AND DESTROYED!!! LUCIAN BLACK JUST WIPES OUT STARR, WHO IS MOTIONLESS AS BLOOD IS COMING OUT OF HIS HEAD, OUT OF HIS BACK, OUT OF HIS LEGS, OUT OF HIS ARMS!!! AND CARLOS HAS SEEN ENOUGH, AS HE IS ORDERING THEM TO GET OUT OF THE RING!! BLACK, MACK AND TOXIC ARE LAUGHING AT HIM AS MACK STRIKES CARLOS IN THE FACE WITH A BIG RIGHT HAND!!! AND CARLOS LOOKS PISSED RIGHT OFF AS HE STRIKES MACK BACK WITH A BIGTIME ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE HEAD!!!! MACK GOES DOWN, AS TOXIC CHARGES AT HIM BUT CARLOS SPITS GREEN MIST INTO HIS EYES!!!! TOXIC BLINDED AS CARLOS WITH A BOXING LIKE FIST, FLOORING TOXIC!!! BLACK CHARGES BUT CARLOS DUCKS ANNDDDD NAILS THE RAINMAKER LARIAT ONTO LUCIAN BLACK!!!!! BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY, CARLOS JUST CLEARED THE HOUSE DOWN!!
( 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! …BUZZ!! )
( Lights flash around …before obviously landing on Alex Andersons pod )
HBG: Well Alex gets into the match, dropping his bow and arrow because nobody is even up, everybody is down and Anderson is looking to capitalize as ANDERSON IS STARTING TO CLIMB UP THE WALL OF THE CHAMBER, HE’S GONNA WIN THIS BY GRABBING THE ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION OFF THE TOP OF THE CHAMBER!! ANDERSON IS SCALING UP THE CHAMBER, OH MY GOD, UPSET OF THE YEAR COMING UP!!! BUT LOOK AT THIS, Y2IMPACT IS ALSO CLIMBING UP THE CHAMBER WALL!! Y2IMPACT IS GIVING CHASE TO ANDERSON, BOTH MEN ARE SCALING UP THE CHAMBER!!! IMPACT IS CATCHING UP TO ANDERSON AS ANDERSON REACHES FOR THE TITLE —-BUT IMPACT GRABS ANDERSON, SENDING FISTS INTO HIM, AS ANDERSON SENDS FISTS INTO HIM AS WELL!! BOTH MEN ARE EXCHANGING FISTS ON THE TOP OF THAT FUCKING CHAMBER AS …OH DEAR GOD!!! IMPACT LEAPS OFF THE TOP OF CHAMBER, DRAGGING ALEX ANDERSON WITH HIM!!! IMPACT NAILS THE CODEBREAKER OFF THE CHAMBER!!!!!! BOTH MEN ARE SENT CRASHING TO THE MAT FROM 16FT HIGH!!!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!! Y2IMPACT NAILED THE CODEBREAKER FROM THE VERY TOP OF THAT CHAMBER AND BOTH MEN ARE LAID OUT ON THE MAT!!!!
Stew-O: THAT WAS AMAZING BY THE CHAMPION!! IMPACT DOING WHATEVER HE HAD TO DO TO IN ORDER TO PREVENT FROM PULLING THE BELT DOWN!! ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! IMPACT DRAPES AN ARM OVER ALEX ANDERSON, THANKS FOR COMING ANDERSON!!!
Carlos ONE!!!!!!!!!!! ………..TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!! …………..THREEEE!!!!!!!
HBG: NO!!!! NO!!! ANDERSON ROLLED A SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST MILSECOND!!!! I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!! HOW …HOW COULD HE HAVE DONE THAT??? HOW ON GODS GREEN EARTH COULD HE HAVE GOTTEN A SHOULDER UP, HE FELL 16FT INTO A CODEBREAKER, IMPACT IS STUNNED, HE’S BEWILDERED!! I’M STUNNED!!! …Impact is still down as SCOTT DIAMOND LIFTS IMPACT UP ONTO HIS SHOULDERS, SCOTT’S LOOKING FOR THE VORTEX!!!!! THE VORTEX ONTO IMPACT!!!! BUT NO!!!! NO!!!! IMPACT GRABBED THE LEADPIPE NUNCHUCKS WITH NAILS ON THEM WHEN SCOTT PICKED HIM UP, AND IMPACT SMASHES THEM INTO SCOTTS FACE!!! OH SWEET JESUS CHRIST!!! IMPACT SMASHED THE LEADPIPE NUNCHUCKS WITH NAILS INTO SCOTTS FACE, SCOTT INSTANTLY DROPS IMPACT, SCOTT IS PUMPING OUT EVEN MORE BLOOD, SCOTTS ENTIRE BODY IS QUICKLY BEING DRENCHED IN BLOOD!!
Stew-O: And look at this! Impact puts the nunchucks with nails into his knee pads as IMPACT LEAPS AND CONNECTS THE CODEBREAKER!!!!! Y2IMPACT NAILS THE CODEBREAKER WITH THE LEAD-PIPE NUNCHUCKS WITH NAILS ASSISTED!!! THE NAILS PRESS INTO SCOTTS FACE AGAIN, CAUSING EVEN MORE BLOOD TO POUR OUT OF SCOTT’S FACE!!! IT’S LIKE A SAW MOVIE, I’VE NEVER SEEN SCOTT BLEED THIS MUCH AS IMPACT CRAWLS OVER AND HOOKS A LEG!!!
Carlos: ONE!!!!!!!!!! …….TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! …………THREEEEEEEEE!!!!
Ring Announcer: Scott Diamond has been eliminated by Y2Impact!
HBG: EMTs are rushing in here, Scott has likely lost an ounce of blood already as Impact rolls to the corner, Dark Demon is slowly getting to his feet, you can’t even see his face anymore as it’s drenched in blood! Impact shoots up to his feet, charging at Demon with a CODEBREAKER INTO DEMON!!! BUT DEMON SIDE-STEPS IT, AS IMPACT LANDS ON HIS FEET AND DEMON WITH THE ROLLING ELBOW INTO Y2IMPACT!!!! BUT IMPACT COUNTERS WITH A CODEBREAKER!!!! BUT DEMON BLOCKS IT, AS IMPACT HITS THE MAT, AS DEMON SPINS IMPACT OVER AND DEMON LOCKS IN THE HANGMAN’S CLUTCH!!!! THE MODIFIED STF LOCKED IN ON THE ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION!!!! IMPACT IS STRUGGLING HERE!!!! IMPACT IS STRUGGLING TO BREAK FREE FROM THIS!!! DEMON REARS IMPACTS HEAD BACK, REARING HIS HEAD BACK AND ALMOST SNAPPING IT OFF HIS SHOULDERS!!! IMPACT MAY HAVE TO TAP O—WHAT?!?!!?
Stew-O: STARRSTAN FROM BEHIND!!!!! STARR GRABS DEMONS FREE LEG, LOCKING IN THE ANKLE LOCK!!!! STARR-STAN HAS THE ANKLE LOCK APPLIED WHILE DEMON HAS THE HANGMAN’S CLUTCH APPLIED ON IMPACT!! THREE-WAY SUBMISSION HERE!!! AND LOOK AT THIS, ALEX ANDERSON WITH A SLEEPER HOLD ON STARR!!!! WHERE DID ANDERSON COME OUT OF?!?! FOUR-WAY SUBMISSION HOLD APPLIED!!! IMPACT LIFTS HIS HAND UP AND REACHES HIS HAND OUT, IMPACT IS GONNA TAP OUT!!! IMPACT TAAAAAPP—-NO!!! IMPACT GRABS A PIECE OF BROKEN GLASS SHARD FROM THAT TABLE AND SHOVES IT BACKWARDS, INTO DEMONS HEAD!!!! DEMON STABBED WITH THAT BROKEN GLASS SHARD, HOW MUCH CAN STABBING CAN THESE GUY TAKE?! DEMON RELEASES THE HOLD, FREEING IMPACT, AS STARR TIGHTENS THE ANKLE LOCK, AS ANDERSON TIGHTENS THE SLEEPER HOLD!!
HBG: ANDERSON NOW TURNING THE SLEEPER HOLD INTO A REAR-NAKED CHOKE!!! STARR LETS GO OFF DEMON AS ANDERSON IS ATTEMPTING TO CHOKE STARRSTAN OUT!!! STARR IS HELPLESS, AS ANDERSON KEEPS IT LOCKED IN!!! BUT STARR SENDS SEVERAL ELBOWS INTO ANDERSONS FACE, CAUSING HIM TO BREAK FREE ….Starr rolls away as Anderson gets to a knee, Anderson has seen enough as he rolls to the chamber floor following Starr, Starr attempts to get to his feet but Anderson grabs him and —OLYMPIC SLAM THROUGH THE GLASS POD!!!! ANDERSON USING STARRS OWN FINISHING MOVE ON HIM, AS STARR IS SENT THROUGH A POD!!!! STARR IS PUT THROUGH THAT BULLET PROOF GLASS AND HE’S DOWN AND OUT!!! STARR-STAN HAS BEEN COMPLETELY WIPED OUT!!!! ANDERSON COVERS STARR-STAN, WHAT A WAY THIS COULD BE TO ELIMINATE STARR!!!!
Carlos: ONE!!!!!!!!! …….TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ………..NO!!!!!!!!!!!!STARR KICKS OUT!!!!!!
Stew-O:Anderson grabs his Bow and Arrow and enters back into the ring, as Impact is getting to his feet, He wants to eliminate the world champion first, in style …And Anderson pulls the arrow back AND SHOOTS THE ARROW INTO THE BACK OF Y2IMPACT!!! IMPACT HAS A WOUND ON HIS BACK DUE TO BEING POWERBOMBED THROUGH THE POD AND THAT ARROW IS LODGED IN IMPACTS WOUND!!! VAST, VAST QUANTITIES OF SALT IS IS BEING RELEASED FROM THAT ARROW INTO IMPACTS WOUND!!!! IMPACT IS IN HUGE AMOUNTS OF PAIN, SALT IS BEING RELEASED INTO IMPACTS WOUND, DEAR GOD!!!! IMPACT GOES DOWN, ROLLING SWIFTLY IN PAIN, I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE ….AND ANDERSON DROPS DOWN, HOOKING BOTH LEGS OF Y2IMPACT!!! HE HAS HIM!!! HE HAS IMPACT WITH THE COVER!!!
Carlos: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ……….TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! …………NO!!!!! IMPACT WITH THE SHOULDER UP!!!!!!
HBG: WHY WON’T THESE GUYS STAY DOWN??? WHY WON’T THESE GUYS JUST GIVE UP, I’VE BEEN A CHAMPION AND EVEN I WOULDN’T GO THROUGH THIS AMOUNT OF PUNISHMENT!! ANDERSON IS NOT AMUSED, ANDERSON GETS BACK TO HIS FEET AS HE —BUT DEMON SWINGS ANDERSON AROUND, ROLLING ELBOW!!! NO!!!! DUCKED BY ANDERSON, DUCKED UNDERNEATH BY ANDERSON WHO KICKS DARK DEMON IN THE MID-SECTION, PULLING HIM IN FOR THE ECLIPSE!!! BUT DEMON ADJUSTS, LANDING BACK DOWN ON HIS FEET, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS GUY IS EVEN WALKING, AS DEMON PICKS UP HIS RAILROAD SPIKE AND OOOHHH GODDDD!!!!! ANDERSON GETS STABBED IN THE HEAD WITH THE RAILROAD SPIKE!!!! ANDERSON IS PUMPING BLOOD, EVEN MORE BLOOD BEING SPILLED TO MAT AS DEMON PULLS ANDERSON IN!!!!! DEATH!!!! IS!!!! WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROLLING CUTTER CONNECTS AS ANDERSON IS DRIVEN INTO THE MAT!!!! ANDERSON IS LITERALLY PUMPING BLOOD, THAT RAILROAD SPIKE GOT DRIVEN INTO HIS SKULL AS DEMON DRAPES HIS ARM OVER ANDERSON!!!
Carlos: ONEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! ……TWOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ……THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Ring Announcer: Alex Anderson has been eliminated by Dark Demon!
Stew-O: That railroad spike needs to be banned from EAW, Anderson is internally shaking, he’s losing an extreme amount of blood as Demon rolls off him, EMTs dash in as this ring is almost covered in blood as it is! …Dark Demon is pulling himself up, I have no idea HOW he is walking, HOW he is even alive, his face, his torso is covered in blood and Demon grabs Starr, dragging him out of the pod and …errr, what’s Demon doing now?!? The EMTs are still carrying Anderson out of this chamber as DEMON GRABS STARR AND FLINGS STARR OUT OF THE CHAMBER DOOR!! STARR IS SENT FLYING TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!! Demon steps out the door, stumbling around as he does, Starr is getting to his feet as both men are absolutely blo—WAIT, WAIT, WHAT IS GOING ON?!? DEMON IS CLIMBING UP THE CHAMBER WALL!! DEMON IS CLIMBING UP THAT MASSIVE CHAMBER, DEMON IS ON TOP OF THAT CHAMBER AS HE IS…HE’S NOT, HE’S NOT REALLY CHALLENGING STARR TO FIGHT HIM ON TOP OF THERE, IS HE?!?!
HBG: HE IS!! I DON’T LIKE THIS HOBO LOOKING HIPPIE AT ALL BUT FUCK, THESE GUYS REALLY, REALLY WANT TO KILL EACH OTHER!! AND STARR IS ANSWERING THAT CHALLENGE BY CLIMBING UP THE CHAMBER!!! ONE OF THESE GUYS ARE GONNA DIE, ONE OF THESE GUYS IS REALLY GONNA DIE HERE AS STARR GETS TO THE TOP AS DEMON BEGINS HAMMERING HIM WITH FISTS!!! DEMON IS GONNA TRY AND KNOCK HIM OFF, ONTO THE ENTRANCE RAMP FROM UP THERE!!! BUT STARR FIGHTS BACK, STARR-STAN FIGHTING BACK WITH UPPERCUTS, WITH FISTS!!! BOTH MEN ARE GOING ALL OUT ON TOP OF THAT ELIMINATION CHAMBER!!! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SUICIDAL AS THEY ARE FIGHTING TOWARDS US!!! STARR CONTINUES HITTING DEMON WITH FISTS AS DEMON STUMBLES TO THE EDGE OF THAT CHAMBER, AS STARR CHARGES FOR A CLOTHESLINE!!!!! CLOTHESLINE TO SEND DEMON OFF THE CHAMBER!!!!!
Stew-O: BUT DEMON DUCKS UNDERNEATH IT!!!! DEMON PULLS STARR IN!!! DEATH!!! IS!!! WELCOME!!!!! NO!!!!!! STARR SLIPS OUT AND LOOKS FOR AN OVERHEAD BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX OFF THE CHAMBER!!!! BUT DEMON SENDING HEADBUTTS INTO STARR AND DEMON LOOKING FOR THE ROLLING ELBOW!!!!!! BUT STARR KICKS DEMON IN THE GROIN!!! DEMON GOT KICKED DIRECTLY IN THE GROIN, STARR HAS HIM, STARRSTAN PULLS DEMON IN!!! OH GOD NO!!!!!
Starr-Stan: THIS ….ENDS HERE!!!!!!!!!!
HBG: AND STARR LIFTS DARK DEMON UP IN THE AIR AND …NO!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! SUPER OLYMPIC SLAM!!!!!! SUPER OLYMPIC SLAM OFF THE CHAMBER!!! BOTH MEN GET SENT OFF THE CHAMBER AND THROUGH OUR TABLE, THROUGH OUR MONITORS, THROUGH OUR LAPTOPS, THROUGH EVERYTHING!!!!! AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, THEY HAVE TO BE DEAD!!!!! I DON’T BELIEVE IT, STARR-STAN MAY HAVE KILLED HIMSELF IN ORDER TO KILL DARK DEMON!!!! HOLY SHIT, I HAVE NEVER, NEVER, SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE!!! A SUPER OLYMPIC SLAM FROM THE TOP OF THAT CHAMBER ALL THE WAY THROUGH OUR TABLE, THROUGH FUCKING EVERYTHING!!! BOTH MEN ARE MOTIONLESS, BOTH MEN ARE NOT MOVING IN THAT BROKEN WRECKAGE, BUT STARR HAS AN ARM OVER DEMON, STARR HAS A MOTIONLESS ARM OVER DARK DEMON, WHO MIGHT BE DEAD!!!
Carlos: ONEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ……..TWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ………..THREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ring Announcer: Dark Demon has been eliminated by Starr-Stan!
Stew-O: There is NO way, NO WAY that Starr can continue in this match, he’s not even moving! Y2Impact is still in huge deals of pain in the chamber, I don’t think he realizes what happened! Dark Demon HAS to be dead, he was hit in the face with nails, with broken shards of glass, burned in the face with barbed wire and THAT, Starr MIGHT be dead too! EMTS are rushing out here with stretchers, the Elimination Chamber is being raised so we can get stretchers out here, I’m sorry folks but I think this is it, neither Demon or Starr is moving..
HBG: Why the FUCK are you apologizing?? How could you expect ANYBODY to continue this match?? Starr has gone through pods, barbed wire glass, his face was BRANDED among other things, I’m sorry for their families if they are dead …Well, they are being stretchered up the ramp, they are past the curtain, Y2Impact has retained his championship in such a brutal match, they ALL need medical ass—Aw, you’re shitting me??? YOU’RE NOT FUCKING SERIOUS??? HERE COMES FUCKING STARR-STAN, LIMPING OUT PAST THE CURTAIN, EMTS ARE RUSHING OUT BEHIND HIM, TRYING TO GET HIM BACK BUT STARR ISN’T GOING OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT!!! THE CHAMBER IS BEING LOWERED BACK DOWN AGAIN, WHY?!?! WHY DO YOU WANT IMPACT TO KILL STARR!?!?!
Stew-O: STARR-STAN IS SHOWING THE HEART OF A CHAMPION, AS HE LIMPS BACK INTO THE CHAMBER, BACK INTO HELL!! AND IMPACT RUSHES, SENDING BLOWS INTO STARR!!! RIGHTS, LEFTS, ANYTHING IMPACT CAN THROW AT HIM!! IMPACT PULLS STARRSTAN IN — SPIKE DDT!!! IMPACT DROPS STARRSTAN ON HIS HEAD, IMPACT HOOKS BOTH LEGS!!! SURELY, SURELY THIS IS ENOUGH???
Carlos: ONE!!!!!!!! ………TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!! ……….NO!!!!!! STARR WITH THE SHOULDER UP!!!
HBG: I …I …HOW??? HOW IS HE DOING THIS!?!?! HOW IS STARR NOT DEAD!?!?!? IMPACT IS STUNNED, CARLOS IS EVEN STUNNED, I’M FUCKING STUNNED! IMPACT GRABS THE …THE RAILROAD SPIKE!!! IMPACT IS STABBING THE RINGMAT, IMPACT IS STABBING A WHOLE IN THE MAT, AS IMPACT IS RIPPING APART THE RINGMAT!!! IMPACT IS EXPOSING THE METAL BARS UNDERNEATH THE RING THAT HOLD THE RING TOGETHER, C’MON WE HAVE MORE MATCHES AFTER THIS!! IMPACT PULLS STARR UP ONTO HIS SHOULDER, IMPACTS THINKING A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!! ONTO THE METAL RING BARS!!!! BUT STARR DROPS OFF, STARR QUICKLY LIFTS IMPACT UP ONTO HIS SHOULDER AND DROPS HIM!!!! OLYMPIC SLAM!!! NO!!! IMPACT DROPS TO HIS FEET, CODEBREAKER!!!! CODEBREAKER ON STARRSTAN!!!! BUT NO, STARR BLOCKED IT, GRABBING THE LEG OF IMPACT AND LOCKS IN THE ANKLE LOCK!!!!
Stew-O: ANKLE LOCK APPLIED ON Y2IMPACT!!! IMPACT IS STRUGGLING, IMPACT IS CAUGHT!!! IMPACT IS CRAWLING FOR THE ROPES, BUT HE CAN’T, HE DOESN’T HAVE THE STRENGTH!!! STARR IS SCREAMING AT HIM TO TAP OUT!!! STARR IS TIGHTENING HIS GRIP ON THE HOLD, IMPACT MAY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TAP OUT!!! WHAT A STORY THIS COULD BE FOR STARRSTAN!!! IMPACT REACHES HIS HAND OUT, YES! IMPACT IS GONNA TAP!!! NO!!!! IMPACT ROLLS THROUGH INSTEAD, IMPACT USING ANY BIT, ANY TINY BIT OF STRENGTH HE HAS LEFT AND ROLLS THROUGH ON THE ANKLE LOCK, COUNTERING WITH THE MILLENIAL INCARCERATION!!! THE WALLS OF IMPACT!!! IT’S LOCKED IN!!!! Y2IMPACT LOCKS IT IN!!! THIS IS A SIGN OF CHAMPION, ABLE TO COUNTER ANYTHING INTO HIS OWN ADVANTAGE!!! IMPACT REARS BACK, TIGHTENING THE HOLD, STARR REALLY CAN’T HANG ON ANYMORE!!!
HBG: STARR IS REFUSING TO TAP OUT!!!! REFUSING TO TAP WITH ALL OF HIS MIGHT AS IMPACT IS STOMPING ON HIS HEAD!!! IMPACT IS STOMPING ON HIS FUCKING HEAD!!! MULTIPLE STOMPS ON STARRS HEAD, TRYING TO KNOCK HIM OUT!! STARRSTAN IS TRYING TO HANG ON, TRYING WITH EVERYTHING HE HAS BUT I THINK THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT FOR HIM, JUST TAP OUT STARR!! IMPACT KEEPS REARING BACK BUT LOOK!!!! LOOK!!! STARR PUSHES HIMSELF ONTO HIS HANDS, BLOOD HAS DRENCHED HIS FACE, BLOOD IS DRIPPING ONTO THE ALREADY BLOOD SOAKED MAT BUT STARR IS ROARING, ROARING AND SHAKING HIS HEAD, I’VE NEVER SEEN STARR LIKE THIS BEFORE!!! ANDDDDD STARR ROLLS THROUGH!!!! IMPACT HITS THE METAL BARS AND STARR GRABS THE ANKLE OF IMPACT, ANKLE LOCK AGAIN!!!! THE ANKLE LOCK BY STARRSTAN, STARR HAS IT LOCKED IN WITH A GRIPEVINE!! IMPACT HAS NOWHERE TO GO!!! NOWHERE TO GO CRAWL TOO!!! HE’S TRAPPED!!!!!
Stew-O: Y2IMPACT WILL NOT GIVE UP THIS EASILY!!! IMPACT IS A FIGHTER, HE’S A WARRIOR, HE’S A SIX TIME CHAMPION FOR HIS HEART, FOR HIS GUTS, FOR HIS ABILITY TO NEVER STAY DOWN!!! STARR IS TIGHTENING THE HOLD, STARRSTAN IS GOING TO BREAK Y2IMPACTS ANKLE!!! THIS MIGHT BE THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE IMPACT QUIT, IMPACT IS SHAKING HIS HEAD, REFUSING TO TAP OUT!!! IMPACT’S EYES ARE CLOSING THOUGH, THESE MEN HAVE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK, LITERALLY, IMPACT HAS GONE THROUGH HELL HIMSELF TONIGHT AND I THINK THE PAIN IS IMMERSING HIM!!! IMPACT IS TRYING TO FIGHT THIS, KICKING STARR WITH HIS FREE LEG WHILE REACHING FOR THE RAILROAD SPIKE!!! BUT …OH GOD, IMPACTS EYES CLOSED!!! IMPACT MAY HAVE PASSED OUT FROM THE PAIN, Y2IMPACT REFUSED TO TAP OUT, REFUSED TO QUIT BUT I THINK IMPACT HAS PASSED OUT!!!!! CARLOS IS CHECKING ON IMPACT, CHECKING TO SEE IF HE IS STILL THERE IF Y2IMPACT HAS PASSED OUT, STARRSTAN WINS THE TITLE!!! CARLOS IS TRYING TO SEE IF IMPACT IS AWAKE, IF HE HAS ANYTHING LEFT IN HIM, AS STARR TIGHTENS HIS GRIP EVEN MORE!!!….AND OH MY GOD!!!! CARLOS IS CALLING FOR THE BELL!!! STARR-STAN DOES IT!!!! STARR DID IT!!!!!
( Ding! Ding! Ding! )
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner …AND THE NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW EAW ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPIOOOOOOONNNNNNNN………..STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR STANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HBG: HE DID IT!!!! STARR-STAN, DESPITE ALL THE ODDS, DESPITE THE INJURIES, DESPITE THE INTERFERENCE, STARR STAN HAS DONE IT!!! WE’VE CROWNED A NEW WORLD CHAMPION!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?!!?! HE CAME WITHIN INCHES, INCHES, AT HOUSE OF GLASS, HE’S BEEN ON A MSSION EVER SINCE TO WIN THAT TITLE AND HE HAS DONE IT TONIGHT!!! STARR-STANS ROAD TO REDEMPTION HAS COME FULL CIRCLE TONIGHT!!!
Stew-O: THAT WAS AN AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAZING MATCH!!! IT WAS LITERALLY HELL, THOSE SIX MEN STEPPED INTO HELL, THEY WENT THROUGH THE MOST BRUTAL, THE MOST VIOLENT THINGS I’VE EVER WITNESSED IN EAW!! The ring has been destroyed, our table is destroyed, the chamber destroyed, bodies destroyed! The conditions of Alex Anderson, Scott Diamond, Johnny Ventura and Dark Demon unknown but you can guarantee they’ll be immediately rushed to a hospital, I’ve never seen so many men lose so much in one match!
( The chamber gets risen up as Carlos Rosso hands Starr-Stan the Answers World Championship, as Starr gets on his knees, clutching the championship to his bloody chest )
HBG: You gotta admire the guts of this guy, to go through what he has tonight, through the last two months and to come out on top – Wow! Starr used to have the reputation of being handed world championships to him but not tonight folks, NOT tonight because he has clawed, bleed and FOUGHT his way to that championship! And there is absolutely NO shame in Y2Impact, a fighting champion indeed, he went through hell tonight and was SO CLOSE in retaining, he DID NOT tap out, he DID NOT give up, he refused to do so and had to pass out from the pain, thats why Impact is in the GOAT cirlce because while others would have tapped, he kept on fighting!
( Carlos and a couple of EMTS help Starr out of the chamber, as Starr limps his way up the ramp with the Answers World Championship held over his head )
Stew-O: WHAT a START to this show, MUCH MUCH more to come tonight but please, give us a few minutes as the ring needs to be repaired and patched up, along with cleaning up the mess from that match. …
(Camera cuts backstage to a dark room in which the only figures that can be seen are “The Legendary” Sekaiichi with the EAW Championship in his hands and Damien Murrow, who paces back and forth behind him)
Damien: You all believe in something. It does not matter whether it’s gold, a God, or a way of life. You’re all guilty. You’re all victims to the relief of placing your faith within the hands of something else. There is nothing too big nor small in which people will fall for. There is nothing that at least one person hasn’t believed in at one time. Whether you’ve come to accept it or not, the fact of the matter is that each and everything that has had faith placed in it will compete against all the others. When the World has been reduced to nothing but one single atom, we will see who is the definitive winner. I have no regrets… No doubts… Absolutely no questioning in my choice to place every ounce of my faith in this God. “The Legendary” Sekaiichi has become a being far beyond what you people perceive as “normal” and that is because he is the greatest exception to your pathetic and mundane lives. He is the guiding light for you, for this company, and for this industry. I have no gripes of whether you believe that or not, because time fixes all problems. In time, you will come to see what it is I see. You will come to believe in the God standing before you. Once he has killed your heroes and has taken the World’s crown and laid it to rest in a FIERY pit!… You will come to know this is not just another lunatic. This is a phenom, ladies and gentlemen. A deity. An entity above all else. This is a God. A God you will come to love or you will come to fall before him. This is the Road less traveled by, but it is the righteous one.
(“The Legendary” Sekaiichi lifts his head and stares into the camera before it fades to black)
(An Ambulance is seen backing up to the area next to the ramp and stage)
Mak: It looks like it’s about time to see someone sent off of Showdown in my favorite kind of vehicle to take people for a ride in: An Ambulance!
Flashback: It’s an ominous presence; that Ambulances’. It’s a symbol of what it has come to between two men that have gone back and forth with one another for so long and it seems as though this is the only way it can truly be settled. One man is going to walk out of this with a big moral victory while the other man is going to be driven out of this arena with a loss and legally unable to continue employment on the Showdown brand. Let’s get to it.
(Video package plays for Jacob Senn and Zack Crash’s feud; featuring highlights such as Zack Crash defeating Jacob in the Cash In The Vault Ladder match at Pain For Pride, Zack punching Jacob and Jacob in turn trying to screw Zack out of his match at No Regards, Jacob snapping Zack’s arm at Territorial Invasion, Zack and Jacob winning the Unified Tag Team Championships at House of Glass, the loss of their Championships at Shock Value, Jacob turning on Zack, and their final confrontation on the last Showdown)
(Camera cuts back to the arena)
(“Dead Bite” by Hollywood Undead plays all throughout the arena as a determined Jacob Senn makes his way out to the stage dressed in all black and white attire and a customized “Vengeance” jacket on)
Announcer: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A LOSER LEAVES SHOWDOWN AMBULANCE MATCH!!!…. First, making his way to the ring…. From Chicago, Illinois!…. Weighing in at 205 pounds!…. HE IS THE “VENGEFUL VANQUISHER”…. JACOB SEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNN!!!….
Mak: It would be a lot more simple and even fitting if he were fitting the cripple I came to know and love, but without injury, Jacob is going to have a lot on his plate in taking on the former World Heavyweight Champion in Zack tonight. Jacob has a lot of passion and determination, but those aren’t nearly enough to propel someone to victory, so let’s hope he came prepared.
(“Crash” by Decyfer Down plays all throughout the arena as Zack Crash makes his way out to the stage in camouflage attire and an official “Capes” t-shirt on)
Announcer: And his opponent!…. Now making his way to the ring…. From Charleston, West Virginia!…. Weighing in at 225 pounds!…. HE IS THE “REBEL”…. ZACK CRRRRRRRRRRAAAAASSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!….
Flashback: Crash himself certainly looks ready and raring to go tonight. I think he’s accepted what this has come to despite his efforts to change it, but sometimes you just can’t change fate. Tonight he’s gotta forget it all and just fight for survival.
(DING! DING! DING!)
Flashback: JACOB IMMEDIATELY CHARGES WITH A BIG TACKLE! ZACK’S GOT IT SCOUTED AS HE SIDESTEPS IT AND SENDS JACOB THROUGH THE ROPES AND CRASHING TO THE OUTSIDE! Just like that, this contest has gotten off to a big start here as Zack now sets Jacob in his sights… Jacob scrambling back to his feet as Zack charges off of the ropes… BIG PLANCHA OVER THE ROPES ONTO JACOB! IT MISSES AS ZACK LANDS HARD ON THE MAT! That was a definition miscalculation on the part of the former World Champion as seems to already be looking to get back up, now on his knees–RETRIBUTION CONNECTS!!!! ZACK JUST GOT LAID OUT WITH THAT SUPERKICK OUT OF THE BLUE! Jacob just realized he may already have this match won! All he’s gotta do is get Zack in the back of that ambulance! Jacob’s quickly making his way over to the side of the stage and to that ambulance… Opening the doors and quickly ripping out the stretcher within it! It looks like Jacob’s gonna have to transport him on that as he rolls the stretcher towards the downed Zack… Zack stirring as Jacob seems to be rapidly picking up speed with that stretcher… LOOK OUT!! ZACK JUST MANAGES TO DODGE OUT OF THE WAY AS THAT STRETCHER IS NEARLY DRIVEN INTO HIM! Zack doing all he can to get back to his feet as fast as he can, using the apron to aid him!
Mak: JACOB SLAMS INTO HIM WITH A SHOULDER THRUST OUT OF NOWHERE! Zack’s spine just slamming edge that unforgiving apron! Jacob isn’t letting up even for a second as he sends a flurry of closed-fist shots straight into the face of his opponent! Hold on.. Jacob with a big slap to the face of Zack! Jacob’s taking pleasure in humiliating his opponent! Jacob now verbally talking trash to Zack as he slaps him again!
Jacob (without a microphone): Aren’t you gonna bring your buddies in management out here to save you, Zack?! Huh? You were always a phony!
Flashback: ZACK NAILS JACOB WITH A HEADBUTT TO THE FACE!! Jacob.. Blood is running down his nose! Zack may have just broken Jacob’s nose! Jacob seems surprised by that one! JACOB LEAPS INTO ZACK WITH ANOTHER SERIES OF SHOTS!!
Jacob (without a microphone): In honor of your BIG elimination last year, Zack! This is for you!
Mak: What’s he thinking? ROLLING ELBOW!!! ZACK DUCKS IT AND PICKS JACOB UP FROM BEHIND! HE DROPS JACOB RIGHT ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD INTO THE APRON!! Both men definitely feeling the effects of one another’s offense thus far as they race to their feet.. JACOB SWINGS–HE’S DRIVEN INTO THE STRETCHER BY A FURIOUS ZACK CRASH!! THE STRETCHER IS STOPPED BY THE STEEL STEPS NEXT TO THE RING AS JACOB CRINGES IN PAIN! Zack now the one in control as he sends shot after shot into the face of Jacob as the “Vengeful Vanquisher” attempts to defend himself! Jacob manages to rake the eyes of Zack! JACOB CHARGES AS ZACK BACKS UP! Zack stops him dead in his tracks with a big kick to the gut! Pulling him in.. HE’S GOT HIM UP! POWERBOMB CONNECTS ONTO THE STRETCHER!! What a move! Zack’s not finished yet as he lays into Jacob with a flurry of shots on that stretcher! Zack making his way over to the steps.. He’s got the top of them!!
Flashback: ZACK PICKS UP THE TOP OF THOSE STEPS! HE BRINGS THEM DOWN AS JACOB ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!! Jacob fell off that stretcher and now it seems all he’s trying to do is escape this with his life, but I don’t think it’ll be that easy! Zack’s picking up those steps again as Jacob attempts to make his way up the ramp! Jacob stumbles to his feet! HE TURNS AROUND AS ZACK LAUNCHES THE TOP OF THOSE STEPS RIGHT INTO HIM!! Zack doesn’t look finished yet as he picks up those steps again.. HE DRIVES THEM DOWN INTO JACOB! NOBODY’S HOME AS JACOB ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY JUST IN THE KNICK OF TIME! Jacob trying to get back up to his feet any way he possibly can as he uses the steel barricade next to the ramp to aid him.. Jacob’s up! LOOK OUT! ZACK RUNS OFF THOSE STEPS AND LAUNCHES HIMSELF INTO JACOB WITH A BIG SPLASH!! ZACK ISN’T LETTING IT GO THERE AS HE DRIVES PUNCH AFTER PUNCH AFTER PUNCH INTO JACOB!! Jacob looks like he’s out of it as Zack goes for those steps again… LOOK OUT!! ZACK LAUNCHES THOSE STEPS AND IS SUCCESSFUL AS THEY CONNECT WITH THE FACE OF JACOB!! JACOB IS SENT FLIPPING OVER THE STEEL BARRICADE AND INTO THE CROWD WITH THAT ONE!!
Mak: Zack wants to finish his opponent off as he climbs up on that steel barricade.. Jacob looks like he’s damn-near out of it by this point.. The crowd is parting like the red sea here as Jacob stumbles back to his feet.. Zack is perched on top of that steel barricade! ZACK LEAPS!! HE’S MET WITH A CHAIR SHOT STRAIGHT TO THE MID-SECTION!! JACOB PULLED THAT ONE OUT OF NOWHERE! JACOB’S STILL HURTING, BUT HE’S PUSHING THROUGH THE PAIN AS HE RISES BACK TO HIS FEET AND SWINGS THAT CHAIR STRAIGHT INTO THE SPINE OF ZACK! ANOTHER SHOT TO BACK OF ZACK CRASH! JACOB SENN IS UNLOADING THAT CHAIR AGAIN AND AGAIN INTO HIS OPPONENT!! Jacob now.. HE’S WRAPPING THAT CHAIR AROUND THE LEFT ARM OF ZACK!! HE’S GONNA SNAP THAT ARM AGAIN!! JACOB STOMPS DOWN ON THE CHAIR! No–Zack dodges it! Jacob quickly rushes into Zack as Zack stumbles back to his feet! Jacob unloading into Zack! ZACK USES THAT CHAIR WRAPPED AROUND HIS ARM AS HE NAILS JACOB STRAIGHT IN THE GUT WITH IT! Jacob backpedaling now.. ZACK SWINGS THAT CHAIR INTO THE SKULL OF JACOB!! Jacob drops down with a glazed look in his eyes as Zack now.. Zack seems to be stacking every chair he can get as the crowd looks on; firmly behind him!
Flashback: Zack picking Jacob up now.. HE’S GOT HIM UP IN A VERTICAL SUPLEX POSITION.. ZACK WITH IMPRESSIVE STRENGTH SENDS JACOB’S BODY STRAIGHT INTO THAT PILE OF CHAIRS!! Zack dragging Jacob back up to his feet.. He sends him flipping back over the barricade and landing hard on the ramp! Jacob trying to crawl away as Zack grabs another chair.. Jacob slowly rising back to his feet! ZACK JUST CHUCKS A CHAIR RIGHT INTO THE BACK OF JACOB!!! These guys are just brutalizing one another here! Zack climbs back over the barricade as Jacob may have not a single prayer left in this contest! Jacob’s still moving as he slowly climbs back up.. ZACK CHARGES! BIG ELBOW CONNECTS INTO THE BACK OF JACOB’S SKULL!! Zack’s dragging Jacob’s body over to that ambulance now.. He’s got the doors open! All he’s gotta do is throw Jacob’s possibly unconscious body into there and close them! Zack dragging Jacob up.. LOWBLOW!!! JACOB CATCHES ZACK WITH A BIG LOWBLOW OUT OF NOWHERE! Zack drops down to his knees in pain as he’s immediately met with a big forearm to the face from a damage Jacob Senn! Both men in a great deal of pain here as they slowly rise back to their feet.. Both men using the ambulance to aid them.. Both men have made it up as Zack nails Jacob with a stiff forearm shot of his own! Jacob’s sent backpedaling! ZACK CHARGES! SPEAR!!!
Mak: JACOB SPEARS ZACK INTO THE BACK OF THE DAMN AMBULANCE!! NEITHER MAN IS LETTING THE OTHER GAIN EVEN AN INCH AS BOTH SEEM TO BE THROWING FISTS INTO ONE ANOTHER WITHIN THAT AMBULANCE! THE DOORS SWING CLOSED! I can’t see who’s winning! Hold on… Someone… JACOB EXITS THROUGH ONE OF THE DOORS! He seems to be the only one–LOOK OUT! ZACK LEAPS OUT OF THE AMBULANCE AS HE TACKLES JACOB DOWN FROM BEHIND!! Jacob doing all he can to fight back! Zack is not letting up with multiple forearms to the back of the skull! Zack pulling Jacob up.. Kick to the gut! HE PULLS HIM IN! DDT!! JACOB DRIVES BOTH MEN INTO THE SIDE OF THE AMBULANCE! SHOULDER THRUST SLAMS ZACK’S SKULL INTO THE AMBULANCE AGAIN! ANOTHER SHOULDER THRUST! ZACK’S FIGHTING BACK AS HE SENDS CLUBBING BLOWS INTO THE BACK OF JACOB! Zack turning it around.. JACOB DROPS HIM WITH A DOUBLE-LEG TAKEDOWN! SLINGSHOT SENDS ZACK SLAMMING FACE-FIRST INTO THE SIDE OF THE AMBULANCE!!
Flashback: Zack’s definitely feeling the effects of that one! Jacob slowly pulling himself back up.. He stumbles over to Zack.. Jacob opens the door and PULLS ZACK IN! JACOB SLAMS THE PASSENGER SIDE DOOR INTO ZACK’S BODY!! JACOB SLAMS IT AGAIN!! JACOB NOW ESCORTING ZACK OVER TO THE FRONT OF THE AMBULANCE.. HE’S GOT HIM UP ON HIS SHOULDER.. JACOB LOOKING TO LAWN-DART HIM! Zack slides off the back of Jacob and drives him face-first into the front of the Ambulance! Zack backs up as Jacob tries to recuperate.. ZACK CHARGES WITH A FULL HEAD OF STEAM!! BACK BODY DROP!!! ZACK IS SENT FLIPPING STRAIGHT INTO THE AMBULANCE AS THE WINDSHIELD SHATTERS!!! Zack may be done after that one!
Mak: Jacob’s got a deranged look on his face here.. He.. What’s he thinking? Jacob making his way over to the driver’s seat.. Jacob swings the door open and pulls out the driver! Jacob climbing into the driver’s seat as Zack is still stuck on the front of that ambulance! Is he.. IS HE GONNA DO WHAT I THINK HE’S GONNA DO?! JACOB STARTS THE ENGINE OF THE AMBULANCE!! JACOB’S GONNA KILL HIM!! JACOB DRIVES THE AMBULANCE INTO THE NEAREST WALL TO CRUSH ZACK!!!!! NO–ZACK SEEMS TO HAVE ROLLED OFF THE AMBULANCE BEFORE IT SLAMMED INTO THE WALL!! Zack stumbles back to his feet as Jacob exits the ambulance.. ZACK RUSHES FORWARD WITH A BIG SHOT TO THE FACE OF JACOB! Jacob knows he’s in big trouble here as he tries to escape this! Jacob doing all he can to get to a refuge here as he gets on the ramp and stumbles his way down towards the ring as Zack follows behind.. ZACK’S PICKING UP SPEED AS HE CHARGES FOR JACOB! JACOB STOPS AT THE APRON AS ZACK COMES BARRELING TOWARDS HIM! HE CATCHES HIM WITH A HIP TOSS INTO THE APRON!! Zack’s spine just NAILING the edge of the ring!! Jacob drops down with a reassured look on his face as he quietly laughs to himself!
Jacob (without a microphone): I’m gonna kill you, Zack…. I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you..
Flashback: Powerful, threatening words from Jacob as he looks underneath the apron.. He.. HE PULLS OUT A BARBED WIRE STEEL CHAIR!! Zack trying to climb back up to his feet.. On his knees as Jacob holds that chair up! SHOT TO THE GUT FROM ZACK! JACOB SWINGS THE BARBED WIRE CHAIR INTO THE SKULL OF ZACK!! Zack drops down as Jacob reaches down and pulls out.. Are those handcuffs? Jacob’s grabbing a hold of Zack! HE’S GOT HIM! HE JUST HANDCUFFED ZACK’S HANDS BEHIND HIS BACK!! Jacob could be looking for the definitive end here as he grabs Zack.. He’s dragged him onto that stretcher! Jacob navigating Zack’s possibly unconscious body over to the Ambulance! JACOB DRIVES ZACK ON THE STRETCHER INTO THE AMBULANCE–NO! Zack rolls off at the last second! HE SPRINGS UP INTO A HEADBUTT TO THE MID-SECTION OF JACOB! ZACK WITH RAPID KICKS INTO JACOB!! JACOB SWINGS THAT BARBED WIRE CHAIR INTO THE SKULL OF ZACK AGAIN!! ZACK DROPS DOWN TO HIS KNEES! ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT BLATANTLY TO THE SKULL OF JACOB!!! ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT TO THE SKULL OF ZACK AS BLOOD BEGINS TO POUR DOWN ZACK’S FACE!! ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT TO THE SKULL OF ZACK–THIS IS RIDICULOUS! SOMEBODY STOP HIM!! YET ANOTHER SHOT TO THE SKULL WITH THAT NOW SEVERELY DENTED CHAIR!! ZACK WON’T GO DOWN!! ZACK WON’T GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION! Jacob can’t believe it! Jacob hesitates with the attack as he stares into the eyes of a bloodied, handcuffed, and resilient Zack Crash! ZACK SPITS IN JACOB’S FACE!!
Zack (without a microphone): DO IT, YOU PUSSY!
Mak: JACOB BREAKS THE CHAIR OVER THE SKULL OF ZACK CRASH!!!!!! THE CHAIR IS DESTROYED!! ZACK SEEMS UNCONSCIOUS HERE AS JACOB DRAGS HIM UP.. HE ROLLS HIM INTO THE AMBULANCE! HE’S GOT IT! JACOB SHUTS THE DOORS!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Dead Bite” by Pulse Enigma plays all throughout the arena as the damaged Ambulance drives off while Jacob Senn drops to his knees and watches it drive off)
Announcer: The Winner of this match!!….. JACOB SEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNN!!!!
Mak: What a brutal, beautiful, destructive match! I loved it!
Flashback: Zack Crash gave Jacob the fight of his life tonight regardless of being the man who unfortunately had to lose and thus, his time on Showdown is now over, but Zack certainly accumulated a great legacy while on Showdown and I’m certain there’ll still be more stuff for him to accomplish in the future, but tonight it seems, was Jacob Senn’s night.
Mak: My favorite part was when Jacob tried to commit homicide. Nah, alright, I agree, very brutal match between those two tough competitors, but Zack simply found himself in a spot in which he just couldn’t win.
Flashback: Well congratulations to Jacob Senn and I wish a sincere farewell to Zack Crash from Showdown. I wish him the best of luck.
( Camera pans backstage to WWEFan’s office as Extreme Enigma and Stephie Love is shown entering the office )
Extreme Enigma; You wanted to see me??
WWEFan: Yeah EE, I did, now for obvious reasons you understand why I couldn’t put you in the Elimination Chamber, AA conned me into thinking that you had entered drug rehab due to substance abuse and obviously the card had been finalized before I found out …
Extreme Enigma: Yeah, because you were incompetent enough to not even bother to ask me WHY I was in rehab, you were incompetent enough to not even bother to check WHY I would have been in rehab and if I had any official paperwork …thanks for all that by the way.
WWEFan: Yes well, I wanted to make up for that, now it’s not a World Title shot since well, our world champion might be dead before the night is over, so I’m going to offer the next best thing, the first Dynasty of 2014, it will be Extreme Enigma vs Carlos Rosso for the INTERWIRE CHAMPIONSHIP! And to ensure you don’t get screwed over, Alex Anderson is also BANNED from ringside, how does that sound??
Extreme Enigma: Sounds good …
**EE and Stephie begin to leave the room before EE steps and turns towards Fan**
Extreme Enigma: By the way, you’re still a shit-eating faggot …
**EE and Stephie Love leave the room as they bump into Undefined**
Undefined: Hellloooooooo Stephie! How ya doing tonight??
Stephie Love: I’m okay??
Undefined( looking at her chest): Stephie, do you have a twin sister?? Because I think I’m seeing double (hello)
EE: Yo, what the fuck man…
Undefined: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, so Stephie tell me, do you have any New Years resolutions?? Mine is to get back in shape, do you wanna ‘workout’ together sometime, i heard you like ‘working out’??
EE: Aight, that’s it **EE rolls up his sleeves as Undefined lets out a girlish scream and runs off**
( Camera pans back to ringside )
( The Jaywalker vs Liam Catterson feud plays on the screen, clips begin with Liam being pinned during the RED Glass Wallz match and resultant depression with Jaywalker attempting to get Liam out of it …To Liam and Jay tag teaming on Dynasty, defeating various teams including Nick Angel/Venom …to Liam attacking Jaywalker, defeating Johnny Ventura with Charlene Appleby reuniting with Liam, to Liam’s explanation for his attack on Jay …to Jay attacking Liam, leaving him in a puddle of blood and challenging him at RTR …to Liam accepting, Jay smashing a beer bottle over Charlene’s head and brawling through the crowd )
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a GRUDGE MATCH!
( ‘’Sins of The Father’’ by Donna Burke plays throughout the arena as Liam Catterson walks out wearing street clothes, looking extremely serious and determined, closely followed by Charlene Appleby )
Ring Announcer: First, making his way down to the ring from Shildon, The United Kingdom, weighing in at 210lbs, accompanied to the ring by Charlene Appleby ….’’THE WARRIOR’’ …LIIIIIAAAAAAMMMMMM CATTTTTERRRRSSSSSSSSSSSOOOONNNNN!!!!!!!!!!
Stew–O: I don’t think I’ve ever seen Liam THIS determined, THIS serious and THIS focused, Liam has stated several times that he does not fear Jaywalker, and I don’t know about you, but that’s a pretty bold thing to say considering it’s Jay!
HBG: Meh, I can understand why he’d be even more mad about the Charlene thing, she was already ugly, Jay just made her extra ugly to be honest …
( ‘’Onto The Next One’’ by Jay-Z blares throughout the arena as real thousand dollar bills begin to fall down from the ceiling into the crowd, as Jays tour bus pulls up to the side of the ramp as Jaywalker steps out of it, taking off his robe )
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, from Scarborugh Canada, weighing in at 240lbs ….HE IS ‘THE ELITE DYNAST’ ….JAYWALKKKKKKKKERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Well, I don’t know how I’d feel going against Jay, this man took away the career of so many people this year alone, Jay is looking business tonight but he’s alot more casual than Liam is …
HBG *reaching up trying to check the thousand dollar bills*: Huh wha?? OH WAIT!! LIAM JUST SLID OUT OF THE RING AND CHARGED TOWARDS JAY!! BOTH MEN ARE TRADING SHOTS ON THE RAMP!! LIAM COULDN’T CONTAIN HIMSELF AS BOTH MEN ARE GOING AT IT ON THE RAMP, AND THE REFEREE IS DECIDING TO RING THE BELL, THEY’RE GONNA START THIS ON THE OUTSIDE!
( Ding! Ding! Ding! )
Stew-O: LIAM CONTINUES TO HURL FISTS INTO JAY AS LIAM SENDS JAYWALKER STUMBLING UP THE RAMP, LIAM CONTINUES TO STRIKE WITH FISTS BUT JAY KICKS LIAM IN THE MID-SECTION AND IRISH-WHIPS HIM INTO THE BARRICADE!! JAY CHARGES TOWARDS LIAM, CLOTHESLINING LIAM OVER THE BARRICADE!! LIAM CATTERSON IS SENT FLYING INTO THE CROWD!! …Jay hops over the barricade, entering into the crowd himself as Liam is getting to his feet and Jay attempts to grab Liam BUT LIAM GRABS A CUP OF BEER FROM A CROWD MEMBER AND THROWS IT INTO THE FACE OF JAYWALKER, BLINDING HIM! Jaywalker is temporarily blinded as Liam grabs Jaywalker and pulls him in —EXPLODER SUPLEX INTO A ROW OF OPENED STEEL CHAIRS!!! JAYWALKER IS SENT CRASHING INTO THAT ROW OF OPENED CHAIRS!!! GOOD GOD!!
HBG: Jay landed so awkwardly there as he is down on the floor, Jay is clutching his back in pain as Liam grabs of those opened chairs and repositions them, Liam is planning something awful here as he grabs Jay, placing Jays head onto the seated part of the chair …And Liam folds up another chair as he lifts it over his head, oh no! OH GOD, LIAM PLANNING THE CONCHAIRTO ONTO THAT OPENED CHAIR!! BUT JAY ROLLS HIS HEAD OFF THE CHAIR, AS LIAM MISSES IT AND JAY NOW KICKS LIAM IN THE GROIN!! LIAM BENDS OVER IN PAIN AS JAY, STILL ON THE GROUND, USES BOTH OF HIS LEGS TO KICK THE CHAIR, CAUSING IT TO BOUNCE INTO LIAMS FACE!! …Liam stumbles backwards as Jay is getting back to his feet, Jay grabs Liam and JAY CONNECTS WITH A SUPLEX!!! THE LOWER PART OF LIAMS BACK CONNECTING INTO THE BARRICADE!! And Liam falls back to ringside, Jaywalker hops over the barricade, Jay looks underneath the ring and pulls out a trash can lid as Liam is getting back to his feet as JAY SWINGS THE TRASH CAN LID INTO THE FACE OF LIAM!!!
Stew-O: Liam stumbles into the ring frame, Jay kicks Liam in the mid-section and PULLS LIAM IN!!! JAY LOOKING FOR A POWERBOMB ONTO THE FLOOR!!!! BUT CHARLENE LOW BLOWS JAYWALKER!!! CHARLENE HELPS LIAM OUT BIGTIME THERE AS LIAM HOPS OFF JAYS SHOULDERS AND SENDS JAY FLYING INTO THE STEEL RINGPOST!!! JAY WENT SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE STEEL RINGPOST!!! …Jay is slumped by the ringpost, as Liam grabs Jay by his hair and PULLS HIM IN!!! DDT ONTO THE FLOOR!!! JAYS HEAD IS BASHED INTO THE FLOOR!! Jay is down as Liam is enjoying, Liam looks underneath the ring and pulls out a 15ft Ladder! Liam has that ladder in his grips as he bridges it across the barricade and the ring apron, Liam now lifting Jaywalker to his feet, Liam lifts Jay onto the apron and Liam PULLS JAYWALKER IN!!!! FOR THE CATTERSON IMPACT OFF THE APRON, INTO THE BRIDGED LADDER!!!!
HBG: BUT JAY COUNTERS WITH A BACKBODY DROP!!!! LIAM IS SENT FLYING THROUGH THE BRIDGED LADDER!!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY SWEET JESUS!!!! JAYWALKER SENDS LIAM CATTERSON THROUGH THAT LADDER!!! JAY IS SLUMPED ON THE APRON AS LIAM IS COMPLETELY BROKEN, CHARLENE LOOKS WORRIED AS JAY …WHAT!?!?! JAY LEAPS OFF THE APRON AND CONNECTS WITH A DIVING ELBOW DROP!!!! INTO THE HEART OF LIAM WHO HAS BEEN DESTROYED IN THAT BROKEN WRECKAGE OF A LADDER!!! BAH GAWD!!! JAY VERY RARELY GOES FOR A JUMP BUT HE WANTS TO INFLICT AS MUCH PAIN AS HE HUMANLY POSSIBLE ON LIAM CATTERSON TONIGHT!! Jay pulls himself out of that broken heap, as he pulls Liam into the ring AND HOOKS BOTH LEGS OF LIAM!!!
ONE!!!!!! …..TWO!!!!!!!!!!!! …….NO!!!! CHARLENE BREAKS IT UP!!!!!
Stew-O: Charlene ensuring Liam remains in this match, dear god, Jay is getting to his feet but CHARLENE SLAPS JAY IN THE FACE!!!! OH, WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?? ALL SHE HAS DONE IS PISS JAYWALKER OFF EVEN MORE, AS JAYWALKER CORNERS CHARLENE, JAYWALKER HAS CHARLENE BACKED UP INTO THAT CORNER!!! JAY GRABS CHARLENE BY THE THROAT!!! OH GOD, OH DEAR GOD!!!! JAY PULLS CHARLENE I—-NO!!!! LIAM OUTTA NOWHERE CONNECTS WITH A SNAP NECKBREAKER OUTTA THE CORNER!!! …This time it’s Liam saving Charlene, as Liam rolls out of the ring, looking underneath it and …OH CRAP!!! LIAM PULLS OUT A MASSIVE BARBED WIRE BOARD ON PLYWOOD!! Liam slides that massive board into the ring as Jay is getting up to his feet ..
HBG: BUT LIAM SLAMS THAT MASSIVE BARBED WIRE BOARD DOWN ON JAYS BODY!!! JAY GOES BACK DOWN, AS THE BARBED WIRE IS PIERCING INTO HIS BODY! Jay is pushing that board off his body, as Jay has been cut open as Liam picks up the massive barbed wire board and LOOKS TO AGAIN DUMP IT ON JAYWALKER!!! BUT JAYWALKER ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Jay pushes himself to his feet, he’s got cuts all over his body as Liam kicks him in the mid-section, PULLING JAY IN FOR THE CATTERSON IMPACT!!! BUT JAY REVERSES AGAIN, THIS TIME ANOTHER BACKBODY DROP!!! LIAM IS SENT BACK FIRST INTO THE BARBED WIRE BOARD!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!! LIAM’S BACK GETS PIERCED BY THAT BARBED WIRE!!! LIAM IS STUCK IN THAT BARBED WIRE BUT JAY RIPS HIM OUT OF IT!!! THAT BARBED WIRE PULLING OFF CLOTHING, SKIN!!!
Stew-O: JAY LIFTS LIAM UP IN THE AIR AND NAILS HIM WITH A SIDEWALK SLAM!!! LIAM IS DOWN ON THE MAT AS JAY REFUSES TO COVER HIM, WHY!?!? JAY GETS BACK TO HIS FEET AS CHARLENE IS STILL IN THE RING, CHARLENE TRIES RUNNING OUT OF THE RING BUT JAY HAS HER!!! JAYWALKER HAS CHARLENE, JAY SHAKES HIS HEAD, JAY HASN’T FORGOTTEN HOW MUCH SHE HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN THIS MATCH AS JAYWALKER PULLS CHARLENE IN!!!!! 2ND SACRIFICE!!!!! 2ND SACRIFICE INTO THE BARBED WIRE BOARD!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! OH MY GOD!!! SHE’S DEAD!!!! SHE IS DEAD!!!! BAH GAWD!!!!!
HBG: IT HAD TO HAPPEN! SHE GOT WHAT SHE DESERVED!!! THIS WILL SHOW THIS HOE TO GET INVOLVED WHERE SHE DOESN’T BELONG!!! LIAM LOOKS ON, AS HE SEES CHARLENE STUCK IN THAT BARBED WIRE, BLOOD COMING OUT OF CHARLENE!!! LIAM SPRINGS TO HIS FEET AND UNLEASHES ON JAY!!!! LIAM GOES ABSOLUTELY BALLISTIC ON JAYWALKER!!! FOREARMS, ELBOWS, KICKS, I’VE NEVER SEEN LIAM THIS MAD!!!! LIAM THIS FURIOUS!!!! JAY SHOVES LIAM AWAY BUT LIAM COMES RUNNING BACK AT JAY — BUT JAY GRABS HIM FOR A BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX INTO THE BOARD!!! BUT LIAM KNEES JAY IN THE MID-SECTION, SUPERKICK!!! LIAM LANDS THE SUPERKICK ON JAYWALKER!!! JAYWALKER DROPS TO HIS KNEE AS LIAM IS NOT DONE, HE WANTS TO KILL JAYWALKER NOW!!!
Stew-O: AND LIAM RIPS OFF THE TURNBUCKLE PAD, GRABBING JAY AND SMASHING JAYS HEAD INTO THE EXPOSED PAD!!!! OVER AND OVER!!!! JAY BLEEDING NOW, LIAM SITS JAY ON TOP OF THE TURNBUCKLE, LIAM CLIMBS UP AND LIAM IS LOOKING TO SUPERPLEX JAY ONTO THE BARBED WIRE BOARD!!!! BUT JAY FIRES BACK WITH HEADBUTTS!!! HEADBUTTS BY JAYWALKER INTO LIAM, LIAM IS STAGGERED ON THE TURNBUCKLE AS JAY LIFTS LIAM ONTO HIS SHOULDERS AND OH!!! NO!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!! JAY LEAPS OFF THE TURNBUCKLE WITH THE PSYCHO DRIVER INTO THE BARBED WIRE BOARD!!!!!! LIAM IS SENT CRASHING INTO THE BARBED WIRE BOARD HEAD FIRST!!!!! LIAM IS BLEEDING FROM THE TOP OF HIS HEAD, HE’S MOTIONLESS AS JAY COVERS LIAM IN THAT PIT OF BARBED WIRE!!!!
ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ……..TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! …..THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
( Ding! Ding! Ding! )
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner ….JAYWALKKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HBG: What a WAR that was! Both men going all out tonight to put on a violent match, Jaywalker coming out on top with that SICK Psycho Driver into the barbed wire! And that was AFTER he almost killed Charlene with the 2nd Sacrifice!
Stew-O: We need medical assistance for Liam here, he’s bleeding quite bad from that, Jaywalker gains HIS revenge after Liam attacked him, lord what a brutal, brutal match and we’re not even finished tonight, I’d hate to be an EMT tonight!
HBG: Why? Can’t be as bad as having to sit next to you and your *sniffs* B.O problems (puke) …
(Camera cuts backstage to a depressed Tomi Venus with a microphone in hand)
Tomi: Hey, everyone… Are you enjoying Road To Redemption? Nifty. My guest at this time is a man left on the sidelines of the Road To Redemption tonight as well. He’s a former EAW Champion and has headlined Pain For Pride. Please welcome… Kevin Devastation..
(Camera pans to the right to reveal an annoyed Kevin Devastation, staring into the glass of wine in his hand)
Tomi: I’m really so excited you could join me, Kevin… Kevin?
Kevin: …. Huh? Oh, yeah, whatever.
(Kevin takes a drink of his wine)
Tomi: You, uh, you been hitting the booze a lot lately, have you?
Kevin: I should be the Heavyweight Champion of the World…
Tomi: Well, yeah, I guess. I mean, if stealing were legal then yeah, I’d agree. Just like how my Elite Championship was stolen from me. Only, I never got it back…
(Kevin and Tomi both sigh)
Kevin: …. Wait… You know what? I think you’re right.
Kevin: You’re absolutely right… I can’t stand around feeling like a complete fuckin’ loser holding a microphone for the rest of his career. I’m Kevin fuckin’ Devastation! I SHOULD be World Heavyweight Champion! That Title belongs to me! That vanilla midget, Brian Daniels, dropped out of the running! I should have been handed that Championship! I’m not gonna stand around feeling sorry for myself! My Title was STOLEN from me! I don’t care if it’s tonight, tomorrow, or next Showdown! I’m taking it back! I will not rest until Kevin Devastation is labeled “World Heavyweight Champion”… Now THAT… THAT is what’s best for business.
(Kevin lifts his left hand to reveal a bottle of wine as he chugs it while storming off)
( Camera fades back to ringside )
Flashback: Well Mak, what we have coming up next… should be interesting!
Mak: Damn right Flashy! Up next we have The Heart Break Boy and Venom in a good old fashioned Bar Room Brawl… the only way to win is to incapacitate your opponent!
Flashback: Let’s send it away!
( Camera fades up to the titantron and into the famous “Avenue Pub” in New Orleans. Venom sits at the bar drinking down a tall glass of beer. A bartender is shown wiping off the table with a towel )
Bartender: You want another?
Venom: Nah, I’m good. Can’t fight with a belly full of beer.
( An EAW Official is shown walking into a bar and approaching Venom )
Venom: He’s late…
Flashback: WOAH MAK… LOOK!! IT’S HBB!! HBB RUNNING OUT FROM BEHIND THE KITCHEN DOOR… HE MUST’VE COME IN THROUGH THE BACK!! HE LEAPS OVER THE BAR AND TACKLES VENOM TO THE FLOOR!! VENOM HOWEVER ABLE TO TURN HBB ONTO HIS BACK AND NOW PUMMELING INTO HIM WITH HARD RIGHTS AND LEFTS!! VENOM HAVING A FIELD DAY WITH THE FACE OF HBB HERE!! Venom eases off and approaches the bar counter here… HE GRIPS A BOTTLE OF BEER IN HAND… HBB GETTING BACK TO HIS FEET AND VENOM SWINGS THAT BOTTLE AT HIM… BUT HBB DUCKS UNDER IT… AND THE GOLDPRINT!!
Mak: HBB HITS THE GOLDPRINT STUNNING VENOM AS IT SENDS HIM FLYING BACK, CRASHING INTO A JUKE BOX!! Venom slumps to the floor, HBB grabs a bar stool… gripping it in his hands as Venom clutches the juke box and uses it to get back to his feet… BUT HBB SMASHES THAT STOOL AGAINST THE BACK OF VENOM!! VENOM SLOUCHES OVER AGAINST THE WALL… CLUTCHING HIS BACK!!… HBB TAKES A FEW STEPS BACK… AND HE COMES CHARGING!!
Flashback: HBB CHARGING WITH FULL SPEED… LEAPS ON TOP OF VENOM… BUT VENOM CATCHES HIM!! VENOM CAUGHT HBB AND GOOD LORD!!.. HE SLAMS HBB DOWN AGAINST THE BAR!!
Mak: YO DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!
Flashback: MY GOD!! HBB MAY HAVE A BROKEN SPINE!! HIS BACK CONTORTING IN A WAY IT’S NO SUPPOSED TO AS IT HITS THE FLOOR… Venom now pulling HBB to his feet… ONLY TO SLAM HIS HEAD AGAINST THE BAR AND LETTING HIM FALL TO THE FLOOR AGAIN!!
Mak: This is where the referee really needs to do his job, that head shot very well may have knocked HBB out, and if he’s out Venom’s the winner.
Flashback: The referee drops down to a knee, HBB still responsive, not out of it yet… Venom pulls him back to his feet, now grabbing a handful of HBB’s hair… GONNA RAM HIM HEAD FIRST INTO THE DOOR… BUT HBB WITH HIS FOOT AGAINST THE EDGE STOPPING IT, NOW WITH AN ELBOW TO THE TEMPLE OF VENOM… HBB NOW GETTING BACK INTO IT, A RIGHT HAND TO THE HEAD, FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER ONE… NOW A THIRD!! THREE RIGHT HANDS AS HBB TRIES TO BATTLE HIS WAY BACK INTO THIS!!
Mak: HBB LUNGES TOWARDS VENOM… AND HE TAKES HIM OFF HIS FEET WITH A SHOULDER BLOCK!! VENOM KNOCKED INTO A COUPLE BAR STOOLS HERE, HBB LOOKS UP AT THE WALLS… TONS AND TONS OF SPORTS MEMORABILIA… AND HE PULLS A BASEBALL BAT OFF THE WALL…
*Suddenly the bartender comes out of behind the bar and runs up to HBB*
Bartender: Sir… sir… please, you can’t use that. It was signed by Mickey Mantle…
Flashback: The bartender telling HBB he CAN’T use that bat… might not be the greatest idea… AND HBB SWINGS THE BAT AT THE BARTENDER!! THE BARTENDER COLLAPSES… HBB DOESN’T CARE… HE NOW MOVES TOWARDS VENOM WITH THAT BAT… HE TAKES A SWING, BUT VENOM BLOCKS IT!! BOTH MEN NOW STRUGGLING FOR POSSESSION OF THE BAT… HBB WITH A KICK TO THE MID-SECTION OF VENOM WHO ON INSTINCT GOES DOWN TO GRAB HIS STOMACH… AND NOW HBB RAISES THAT BAT… AND HE BRINGS IT DOWN AGAINST THE SPINE OF VENOM!!
Mak: IS HBB CRAZY?!?! DOES HE NOT KNOW HOW MUCH THAT BAT IS WORTH?!?!?! HE NOW TAKES A SWING AT THE JAW OF VENOM… AND IT CONNECTS!! RIGHT TO THE MUSH OF VENOM WHO GOES FLYING BACK… HE’S MAKING THAT BAT WORTHLESS!!
Flashback: The referee now checking in on Venom… AND OH MY BLOOD POURING OUT OF THE JAW OF VENOM… IT MAY VERY WELL BE BROKEN!! This now becomes a judgment call for the referee, can Venom continue?! He tells HBB to step away as he begins to check on Venom… but Venom pushes the referee away! VENOM PUSHING THE REFEREE AWAY AS HE ATTEMPTS TO MAKE IT BACK TO HIS FEET… HBB LOADS UP FOR THE GOLDPRINT… VENOM DUCKS… NOW LOOKS FOR A BACK SUPLEX ONTO THE BAR… BUT HBB ESCAPES AND LANDS ON HIS FEET ON THE OTHER SIDE!!…
Mak: HBB NOW LEAPS OVER THE BAR AND TAKES VENOM OUT WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!… HBB GRABS THE LEGS… INVERTED FIGURE FOUR!! AN INVERTED FIGURE FOUR LEG-LOCK!! HBB HAS IT LOCKED IN… AND NOW WHAT DOES VENOM DO!!… NO ROPES, NO NOTHING… HE CAN’T TAP… HE JUST HAS TO LIVE THROUGH THE PAIN!! LIVE THROUGH THE PAIN AND HOPE THAT HE DOESN’T PASS OUT!!
Flashback: OH WAIT… LOOK!! VENOM’S CAUGHT EYE OF THAT BASEBALL BAT!!
Mak: OH GREAT!! RUIN IT EVEN MORE!!
Flashback: VENOM BEGINS CRAWLING TOWARDS THE BAT!!… AT LEAST HE MAY BE ABLE TO THREATEN HBB WITH THE BAT AND GET HIM TO RELEASE THE HOLD!!.. HE PULLS THE BAT IN AND GRIPS IT… HE BRINGS IT UP INTO THE AIR… AND HBB RELEASES THE HOLD!! VENOM NOW PUSHING UP AGAINST THE BAT AS HE MAKES IT BACK TO HIS FEET!! AND NOW WE’RE AT A STALEMATE!! BACK TO WHERE WE STARTED!!
Mak: AND LOOK AT HBB!! HE’S TELLING VENOM TO DROP THAT BAT… TO FIGHT LIKE A MAN!! VENOM WOULD HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO DO IT…….. AND HE DOES IT!! VENOM DROPPING THE BAT AND HERE COMES HBB CHARGING… BUT VENOM GRABS THAT BROKEN BOTTLE OF BEER… HE GRABS IT BY THE NECK… AND HE FORCES IT INTO THE STOMACH OF HBB!! THE GLASS PIERCING THE SKIN AND ACTUALLY GOING INTO HIM!!
Flashback: THAT IS SICK!! JUST SICKENING!! Venom pulls the bottle out as blood begins to drip out of the stomach of The Golden Boy. HBB drops to his knees and quickly holds his stomach. Forcing pressure onto it, trying to stop that blood from seeping out.
Mak: OH SHIT LOOK FLASHY!! VENOM’S GOT THAT BAT AGAIN!!… AND HE RUNS UP AND PRESSES IT AGAINST THE THROAT OF HBB!! TRYING TO CHOKE HIM OUT!! VENOM ADDING MORE AND MORE PRESSURE HERE… HBB STRUGGLING, TRYING TO PRY THIS BAT OFF HIS THROAT, TRYING TO PUSH IT UP LIKE A BENCH PRESS BUT HE CAN’T OVERCOME THE DOWNWARD PRESSURE THAT VENOM’S PUTTING ON THE BAT!!
Flashback: HBB TRYING… HE GETS HIS LEGS UP AND TRIES TO KICK VENOM AWAY BUT VENOM DOING EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER NOT TO LET THAT HAPPEN… HBB NOW GETS HIS FEET UP AND PRESSES HIS FEET UP AGAINST THE CHEST OF VENOM… AND LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE!! IT’S A STRUGGLE… A TUG OF WAR OF SORTS!! HBB PUSHING ONE WAY, VENOM PUSHING THE OTHER WAY… SOMETHING’S GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE… AND… HBB PUSHES VENOM OFF!! HE GOT HIM OFF!!
Mak: HBB makes it back to his feet now… GASPING for air… VENOM STILL HAS A FIRM HOLD ON THE BAT HE CHARGES AT THE HEART BREAK BOY AND SWINGS… BUT IT’S DUCKED!! THE BAT FLYING OUT OF VENOM’S HANDS CRASHING INTO THE WALL KNOCKING DOWN PICTURES AND POSTERS!!… VENOM TURNS AROUND… AND THE GOLDPRINT!! THE GOLDPRINT CONNECTS!! VENOM FALLS STRAIGHT BACK!!
Flashback: The referee goes to check on Venom… BLOOD NOW POURING FROM HIS MOUTH, THAT’S TWO GOLDPRINTS AND A STRAIGHT SHOT TO THE JAW WITH A BASEBALL BAT… AND… THE REFEREE SIGNALS THAT THE MATCH IS OVER!! VENOM CAN’T COMPETE!! HE RAISES THE ARM OF HBB… HBB WINS!!
( Venom begins to come to and start arguing with the ref as HBB picks up the baseball bat, grabs a towel from the bar, wipes some blood off and takes it with him as he exits the bar )
Mak: WOO THAT WAS FUN!
Flashback: FUN?!? YOU CALL THAT FUN?!?! There’s no telling what that beer bottle did to The Heart Break Boy… Venom’s jaw may be broken… AND YOU CALL THAT FUN?!
Mak: OH LIGHTEN UP WILL YOU FLASHY?! IT’S THE HOLIDAYS! At the very least it was entertaining to watch.
Flashback: Venom making his case to the referee that he STILL could’ve competed but the referee made the call, most likely the smart call that he couldn’t go on.
( Camera pans backstage to a doctors room where Max A Million is shown trying to get in )
Max: Hey, is Y2Impact in there?
Doctor: Uh, yeah, he is, you can’t go in, he doesn’t want to see anybody.
Max: Well, is there any update on his condition??
Doctor: I’m afraid I’m not allowed to give out any personal information about my client, you’ll have to ask him yourself.
Max: But …How??? You won’t let me in??
Doctor: Exactly, Y2Impact does not want to see anybody right now, he’s recovering from his match and needs time alone to relax, to heal and to be stress-free, he doesn’t need …well I guess you are people, annoying him.
Max: Can you tell me ANYTHING??? C’mon man, I’m an interviewer, Fan might fire me if I have nothing for him, you don’t want me fired do you?? (sad)
Doctor: Well, I don’t know you, why would I care??
Max: What the hell man?? I was at your wedding, I gave you a lovely speech and all!
Doctor: I’m not married …
Max: I, uh, looked after your sister when she was ill!
Doctor: I don’t have a sister …
Max: JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING, I’M BEGGING YOU!!! (CRY2)!!!
Doctor: Fine …Among other things, Impact has said that he is STILL the Answers World Champion, because he did not tap out or say he gives up and once again, he never fairly lost his title.
Max: Well wha—
Doctor: Goodbye Max **The doctor shuts the door on Max**
( Camera returns to the ring where the RA is standing )
Ring Announcer: The following match is UNSANCTIONED. Extreme Answers Wrestling will not be held accountable for any Extremists, officials, fans or security in the building during this contest. EAW is not legally responsible for any activity that takes place within the arena for the duration of this contest, and all fans and/or personell are free to leave and return for their own safety. This bout will be held under a 60 minute time-limit out of precaution, and will be officiated under Extreme Rules format.
Stew-O: And that is exactly how dangerous this is going to be.
HBG: Ya know If you’re scared, Stew, you’re free to leave. I already see the Hispanic announcers splitting… good call.
Stew-O: This is a scary, startling and unpredictable chain of events that’s led us here. Though one man is favored by the fans and the other is despised; this has, nonetheless, been a war between two sick, evil, evil men. Families have been broken, careers have been altered, Championships have been cost… roll the footage.
( “Bad Guy” by Eminem plays, and a 1 and 1/2 minute video showcasing the Mr. DEDEDE vs. Diamond Cage story airs; including DDD’s recruitment of Cage to Team DEDEDE, their winning the tag titles, DDD joining THOR and turning on Cage at House of Glass, Cage attacking DEDEDE in the battle royal, DDD involving Cage’s family, all the attacks Cage has done on DDD’s family, Cage wrecking DDD’s Hall of Fame memorabilia and DDD announcing the RTR match. )
( Camera returns to the arena )
( “On Sight” by Kanye West hits )
Stew-O: Careers altered, Titles cost, Families broken, blood shed and more blood shed comes our way RIGHT NOW.
( Mr. DEDEDE walks out from the back completely ignoring the audience while wearing black baggy pants, boots and a gray tank top and taping his fists )
Announcer: Introducing first from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida weighing in tonight at 240 POOOUNDS… MISTEEEEEERRRRR DEDEEDEEEEEEE!!!!!
Stew-O: This bothers me, it bothers me so much that a guy with as much influence as DEDEDE would be involved in something as ugly and disgusting as this.
HBG: Well despite who’s been involved in what we can’t just overlook what DC’s done. If anything, DEDEDE has as much reason to be out for blood as Cage, he’s got probably as much drive as Cage does which is why I can’t completely write him off.
( DEDEDE is at ringside and approaches DC’s wife, Britt along with Chris Jr. and Savannah as he interacts with them; putting the _#THOR hat on Chris and kissing and hugging Savannah and Britt. DEDEDE enters the ring and does his corna taunt at the top turnbuckle until his music dies down. He paces, awaiting Diamond Cage )
Stew-O: You’re right, HBG. But DEDEDE is already a monster for having two little children be eyewitness to this. As of now there is absolutely NOTHING standing in between Diamond Cage and Mr. DEDEDE! These men are meters away from an explosion!
( “10’s” By Pantera hits, DEDEDE looks around the arena and a spotlight finds him lurking through the crowd with jeans and a spiked-collar leather jacket on. Cage makes his way down to the ringside and enters ringside. )
Announcer: From Edmonton Alberta Canada, weighing 225 POUNDS…. DIAMOOOOOND CAGE!!!!!!!!
HBG: My God this is going to be so fucking good.
( Cage pulls out a strand of barbedwire and wraps it around his right fist with his eyes meeting DDD’s eyes. DC pulls off his jacket, tosses it to the ground and storms into the ring and DEDEDE swings wildly at him )
( Ding! Ding! Ding! )
Stew-O: WILD SWING BY DEDEDE… CAGE DUCKS, AND GOES TO WORK! CAGE NAILS FIVE…. SEVEN, EIGHT… TEN…. FOURTEEN, SIXTEEN SHOTS, UNADULTERATED PUNCHES INTO DEDEDE’S SKULL AND HALF OF THOSE HITS ARE WITH A BARBEDWIRE-WRAPPED FIST!!! THAT TOUGH AS NAILS BASTARD DIAMOND CAGE IS LAYING IT ON AND THIS IS ALL ABOUT REVENGE!!! DEDEDE IS TRYING TO COVER AND COWER, BACKING INTO THE CORNER BUT THAT’S THE WORST PLACE TO BE… CAGE RUNS AND JUMPS ONTO HIM SWINGING FASTER THAN I CAN EVEN COUNT!
HBG: Holy COW!
Stew-O: DEDEDE RETURNS WITH RAPID BLOWS TO THE MID SECTION AND BOTH MEN GRAPPLING, GRABBING AT EACHOTHERS HAIR AND CIRCLING THE RING TRYING TO TAKE ONE OR THE OTHER DOWN….. AND CAGE GRINDS HIS BARBEDWIRE WRAPPED FIST INTO DEDEDE’S FOREHEAD AS A GASH IS RIPPED OPEN. DC RIPS DEDEDE BY HIS HAIR DOWN TO THE GROUND, SADDLING HIM AND PINS DEDEDE’S HEAD TO THE MAT WITH ONE HAND AND THE OTHER PUNCHING HIM REPEATEDLY IN THE NOSE WITH THAT BARBEDWIRE WRAPPED FIST! TWO, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN DIRECT PUNCHES TO THE NOSE… AND ALREADY DEDEDE IS GUSHING, HIS NOSE HAS TO BE BROKEN, HE IS OOZING BLOOD FROM THE NOSE! BLOOD BEGINNING TO POUR OUT OF DC’S OWN FIST AS HE CONTINUES THE ASSAULT… AND CAGE SQUATS OVER DEDEDE… PULLING HIM UP BY THE HEAD… AND SWIFT FAST HEADBUTTS INTO DEDEDE! AND CAGE TALKING SMACK WHILE HEADBUTTING HIM RAPIDLY!
Cage: HOW – DOES – THIS – FUCK – ING – FEEL – YOU – FUCK – ING – CUNT!!!?
HBG: MORE HEADBUTTS! CAGE REVERTS TO PUNCHES BETWEEN EACH WORDS!
Cage: FUCK – YOU – FUCK – YOU —
HBG: But DEDEDE THUMBS Cage to the eye, and a SHOT to the jaw as Cage rolls off, and DEDEDE rolls away… but Cage FIRES RIGHT BACK, AND DEDEDE SHOOTS UP FOR A SPINEBUSTER??? … NO! CAGE WITH RIGHTS AND LEFTS, HITTING AT LEAST EIGHT IN MID AIR AS DEDEDE COLLAPSES TO HIS KNEES! Cage stands over him again, teeing off punches with that barbedwire fist, Cage’s own fist is dripping with blood, but DEDEDE’s FACE is paying the true price — LOW BLOW! UPPERCUT TO THE GROIN OF CAGE FROM DDD… AND ANOTHER LOW BLOW! AND ONE MORE UPPERCUT TO THE GROIN FROM THE OPPOSITE ARM! YEESH! DDD gets back up to both two, and he GRIPS CAGE BY THE BALLS… OWWWW! … AND HE JAMS HIS FINGERS INTO DC’S EYES, GOUGING HIS EYES OUT, FOR FUCKS SAKES! DEDEDE runs into Cage, DRIVING BOTH GUYS into the corner as Cage is holding his groin in shock and DEDEDE KNEES CAGE INTO THE GROIN AGAIN, AS CAGE FALLS TO HIS KNEES! And DEDEDE KNEES CAGE INTO THE FACE, as Cage is teetering, DDD grabs Cage’s strand of barbedwire and is PRESSING IT, CHOKING DC WITH THAT BARBEDWIRE IN THE CORNER! DDD now… ugh, SPITS blood that’s fallen from his nose into DC’s face! He’s choking the LIGHTS out of DC! DEDEDE SLAPS CAGE BACK AND FORTH now! Backhand, palm slap, but Cage CATCHES THAT HAND, GRABS DEDEDE’S FINGERS AND TWISTS IT!
Stew-O: DEDEDE turns around, suffering and Cage LEAPS onto DEDEDE’s back and is biting his hair!!! HE’S YANKING DEDEDE’S HAIR WITH HIS TEETH AND CLOBBERS A PUNCH TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD, AND HITS A JUMPING REVERSE STO! Cage is holding his groin after that… that.. that WOMANLY, UNGODLY assault that no man should ever ever have to endure… but God damn it, NOTHING’s stopping Cage! Cage limps over to DEDEDE who’s rolled onto his stomach flat on his face and STOMPS REPEATEDLY INTO THE BACK OF DEDEDE’S HEAD, CURSING HIM IN BETWEEN EACH STOMP and PRESSES his boot to DEDEDE’s head, STANDING and WALKING on DEDEDE’s head! DDD rolls out of the ring! WHAT has the legendary Mr. DEDEDE gotten himself in to? Has he made an enemy far too dangerous to overcome!? Was Cage right? Is Diamond Cage unlike any other man DEDEDE has ever gone against???
HBG: Cage, still aching at the groin tries to walk off that punishment as DEDEDE returns to both feet and CAGE CHARGES TOWARDS HIM, THROUGH THE ROPES AND DIVES TO THE OUTSIDE FOR THE SUICIDE DIVE ….. BUT DEDEDE EVADES, CAGE HITS THE BARRICADE HEADFIRST! OH JESUS!
( DEDEDE stumbles away, and Cage is grimacing on the ground)
Stew-O: But that’s NOT STOPPING CAGE, HE’S DAZED BUT HE IS SHOOTING BACK TO HIS FEET…. But DEDEDE grabs Cage by the head and RAMS HIM into the ringpost! DEDEDE grabs Cage again and… and is DRIVING HIS THUMB INTO CAGE’S EYESOCKET, AND CAGE IS BATTERING DEDEDE’S RIBS OUT OF DESPEARATION AS DEDEDE DRIVES CAGE’S FACE INTO OUR TABLE! Look at the blood POURING out of DC’s eye for the love of God! Oh MAN, if they get any closer I am out of here im tellin ya!
HBG: Chicken! DEDEDE’s got Cage again, RAMS HIM into the steel steps, ANOTHER BASH into the steps, and DEDEDE grabs a chair from the ring announcer and heads over to Cage who is freaking incapacitated…. OHHH!!! CONCHAIRTO!!! CONCHAIRTO INTO THE BACK OF CAGE’S HEAD, AS HE SLITHERS DOWN THE STEPS TO THE FLOOR! And DEDEDE, standing over Cage isn’t done… REPEATED SPIKES INTO ANY OPEN PART OF CAGE’S BODY! DEDEDE spiking the chair into Cage’s neck, his face, his arm, his ribs,,, and DEDEDE drags Cage away from the ring, spreads open his legs and SPIKES CAGE INTO THE GROIN WITH THAT CHAIR!
Stew-O: THAT SICK SON OF A BITCH! WHAT KIND OF MAN TARGETS THAT… LOCATION!?
HBG: A man who’s literally fighting for his life, I guess!
Stew-O: Cage is SCREAMING in pain, and look at the look of shock and confusion on Chris Jr. , that is a SAD, SAD picture! Savannah is turned away crying, and Britt is CLAPPING. What a FUCKED UP picture, but this is unfortunately the situation! This is uncivilized brutality, these are animals in the jungle… NOT human beings. DEDEDE pulls Cage up and rolls him into the ring and… and tosses that chair in the ring. Now he’s turned to us.
( DEDEDE bangs his fists on the announce table as Stew and HBG roll back in their chairs )
HBG: Easy, DEDEDE, it’s me! Your pal from AWF, remember?
( DEDEDE grins, drooling and rips off a monitor and enters the ring )
Stew-O: Well it looks like he’s snapped. Cage has unleashed ”The Monster” for the first time since Territorial Invasion. That man looked posessed by the DEVIL himself, and I’ll assure you that was NOT the Chairman of the board as we know him!
HBG: Cage returns back up…. DEDEDE SMASHES THE MONITOR OVER CAGE’S SKULL!! AND CAGE HASN’T BEEN KNOCKED DOWN, HE’S BACKING INTO THE ROPES WITH BLOOD TRICKLING DOWN HIS FOREHEAD… AND LIFTS THE MIDDLE FINGER AS DEDEDE SWINGS AGAIN… BUT CAGE KICKS DEDEDE AND HITS A BACKHAND SLAP… ANOTHER backhand… ANOTHER… MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, TEN, LARIAT!!! DIAMOND SAINT SPECIAL, AND CAGE DROPS OVER DEDEDE! THE PIN, OOOOOOOONEEE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOO, DEDEDE kicks out! Cage, grimacing in pain now pulls DEDEDE back up and DRIVES HIM SHOULDER TO THE STEEL RINGPOST IN THE CORNER! DEDEDE drops to the outside of the ring, trying his damndest to recover! Cage grabs the steel chair in the ring and follows DEDEDE…. Cage is grinning and knows he’s got the weapon and DEDEDE has nothing to defend himself, as he staggers towards DEDEDE who’s using the barricade to get up! He’s at DC’s mercy! He’s at DC’s complete mercy here! …. CHAIR SHOT!!!
( DEDEDE grabs Chris Jr. from the crowd and holds him up as DC has the chair raised inches away from Chris Jr’s face )
Stew-O: OH COME ON!
HBG: Son of a bitch!
Stew-O: He’s going WAY TOO FAR! He’s got DC’s SON as a human shield! He has the man’s SON as a shield!! DEDEDE is backing away with the boy in his hands, and poor little CJ is crying as DC lowers the chair, and DEDEDE backs away towards the ramp side of the apron, with an grin to grab his own steel chair! DEDEDE NOW SHOVES CJ TO THE GROUND AND LIFTS UP HIS CHAIR, ABOUT TO HIT THE CONCHAIRTO ON CHRISTOPHER JR! NO NO NO YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH STOP! CAGE IS SCREAMING FOR DEDEDE TO STOP, HE’S PLEADING, TOSSING HIS OWN CHAIR INTO THE RING BUT CAGE IS DEALING WITH THE DEVIL! AND THAT DEVIL DEDEDE IS GRINNING SATANICALLY WITH THE CHAIR HOISTED OVER HIS HEAD! …. AND CAGE CHARGES….. AND DEDEDE COMES DOWN WITH THE CONCHAIRTO ON CHRIS JR.!!!! ……. BUT NARROW SAVE, CAGE BLOCKS IT WITH HIS BACK, DIVING OVER HIS SON EATING THE CHAIRSHOT! AND DEDEDE IS COMING DOWN OVER AND OVER, CHAIRSHOT, CHAIRSHOT, CHAIRSHOT INTO CAGE’S BACK WHILE CAGE IS HOVERED OVER HIS SON!!! HOW FUCKING SICK, HOW FUCKING TWISTED; THERE ARE NO DEPTHS TOO LOW FOR DEDEDE TO STOOP, THERE ARE NO SCRUPLES IN THIS BATTLE! CAGE CAN’T MOVE, HE HAS TO PROTECT HIS SON, AND DEDEDE HITS HIS 14TH, 15TH CHAIR SHOT AS THE CHAIR IS BENT OUT OF SHAPE, AND CAGE HAS PASSED OUT IN PAIN TEMPORARILY! SATAN HIMSELF DOESN’T HAVE NIGHTMARES THIS GROTESQUE!
( Savannah is seen crying and behind held by Britt in the audience )
HBG: DEDEDE goes under the ring and pulls out a… not a wooden, but a glass table, sliding that in the ring! And DEDEDE knows he has the advantage now as security pulls Cage’s son from underneath DC’s unconscious body, out of ringside back into the crowd. DEDEDE rolls DC into the ring, and grabs another chair along with a wooden board from under the ring, along with a tiny container and enters with these items. DEDEDE now sets up the glass table and places the wooden board underneath…. and DEDEDE empties out that tiny container of fluid and pulls out a MATCH CASE, AND STRIKES IT, DROPPING IT INTO THAT BOARD SETTING IT ON FIRE! OH MYYY, THE WOODEN BOARD UNDERNEATH THE GLASS TABLE HAS BEEN SET ON FIRE! DDD’s got Cage… HE ROLLS HIM ONTO THAT GLASS TABLE AND IS HEADED UP TOP WITH THE CHAIR!
Stew-O: If you know anything about this man you know EXACTLY what we’re about to see! DEDEDE has truly pulled out every sick figment of his imagination in this match. DEDEDE IS PERCHED AT THE TOP TURNBUCKLE FOR THE WINGS OF HELL!!!!! BUT CAGE SPRINTS OFF OF THE TABLE, LIKE A SURGE AND RUNS TOWARDS THE TURNBUCKLE… BUT DEDEDE SWINGS THE CHAIR … BUT CAGE CATCHES IT, RIPS IT OUT OF DEDEDE’S HANDS AND SPIKES IT INTO HIS THROAT! Now DC climbs that corner… AND OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD DIAMOND CAGE HITS THE BELLY TO BACK THROW OFF THE TURNBUCKLE, SENDING DEDEDE THOUGH THE GLASS TABLE INTO THE FIRE!!! DEDEDE ROLLS OFF OF IT OUT OF INSTINCT, TWISTING AROUND THE RING AND CAGE, BACK UP, GRABS DEDEDE AND CONNECTS THE BRAINBUSTER DIRECTLY INTO THE FLAMING BOARD!!! OH MY GOODDDDDD!!!
( A nearby worker sprays the flames in the ring with fire extinguisher )
HBG: HOOLYYY SHITTTT!!! DEDEDE’S HEAD HITTING SHARDS OF GLASS AND FLAMES!
Stew-O: MAGNIFICENT COUNTER FROM DIAMOND CAGE, UNBELIEVABLE SURGE, AND CAGE TURNS OVER DROPPING AN ARM! OH MY GOD! OOOOOOOOOONEEEEE!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! …. THR — KICKOUT! MR. DEDEDE HAS KICKED OUT OF THE BRAINBUSTER! It would have been the most deadly version of the Wings of Hell of all time but Cage averted and made a HUGE counter! But Cage has to struggle with the pain he’s in and think of something, because the Brainbuster into the flames was unfortunately NOT enough!
( Replay of the missed Belly to Back/Brainbuster into the flaming board )
HBG: DEDEDE is so damn out of it, he is on survival mode right now and not “survival of the fittest” mode either. That was just Cage grabs a fistfull of DEDEDE’s blonde locks and drags him over to the turnbuckle… and he unties the very bottom turnbuckle and puts DEDEDE’s face on it! And Cage is ORDERING DEDEDE to bite the turnbuckle…….. oh, oh man that’s CRAZY! DEDEDE is trying to get up, and Cage snatches one of the two steel chairs on the ring floor and SMASHES IT OVER DEDEDE’S SPINE! THAT IS PAYBACK, ANOTHER CHAIR SMASH! DEDEDE is now biting that exposed steel from the turnbuckle… and Cage backs away… CAGE BACKS AWAY AND CHARGES — WAIT, WHAT??
( Savannah, Cage’s daughter is at ringside screaming as he stops on his tracks and looks towards her. She is screaming and crying for Cage to stop. This distracts Cage and Britt is escorted out of ringside with Cage’s children as she lifts her middle finger to DC, waving goodbye. )
Stew-O: Whatever heart Cage has left must be bleeding for his kids, and BURNING in hate for his soon to be ex-wife. But it seems they’ve seen too much and are leaving the ringside… and now that they’re gone there’s NOTHING holding him back. He looks back to the corner… but DEDEDE’S NOT THERE! HE’S BEHIND DC, DC TURNS AROUND, CHAIR SHOT TO THE SKULL!!!!! AND DC TURNS AROUND, IS BENT OVER, IS GROGGY, BUT AS BLOOD POURS DOWN HIS FOREHEAD MORE PROFUSELY THAT BLOOD HAS ONLY ENRAGED HIM! DC GRABS THE CHAIR FROM THE GROUND AND SWINGS BACK TOWARDS DEDEDE — BUT THE REFEREE GETS HIT! DEDEDE DODGES! AND DEDEDE HITS THE CHAIRSHOT INTO DC’S ARM! DC NEARLY DROPS THE CHAIR, AND DEDEDE HITS ANOTHER CHAIR INTO DC’S ARM …… DC FIRES BACK WITH A CHAIRSHOT INTO DEDEDE’S SKULL! DEDEDE TEETERING… AND FIRES BACK WITH THE CHAIRSHOT INTO DC’S SKULL! HEAD-SHOT FROM DC! HEAD-SHOT FROM DEDEDE! HEAD-SHOT FROM DC! DEDEDE! DC! DEDEDE! BACK! AND THEN FORTH! BOTH MEN DONNING THE CRIMSON MASK, BLOODIED, EXCHANGING CHAIRSHOTS DIRECTLY TO THE HEAD WITH ABSOLUTELY EVERY OUNCE THEY HAVE! HEAD-SHOT FROM DEDEDE! HEAD SHOT FROM DC! ANOTHER FROM DC! A THIRD INTERRUPTED, DEDEDE IS STAGGERING AND DC SWINGS FOR THE KNOCKOUT…. DEDEDE DUCKS, AND SPIKES INTO DC’S GUT, HEADS BEHIND DC AND HITS THE SHOT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD AS DC IS KNOCKED DOWN!
HBG: DC is on his forearms, GUSHING blood from his skull as DEDEDE stumbles backwards to the ropes. These two are completely drained after that.. that unbelievable exchange of blunt chairs to the skull! This place is a MESS, and Cage is at one knee, as DEDEDE is seated back in the corner COMPLETELY groggy but has his eyes dead on Cage…. who’s up… and turns around…. DEDEDE TAKES OFF!!! SPEAR!!! NO, CAGE LEAPS IN AIR AND COUNTERS WITH A GETTO STOMP TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! WHAT A COUNTER TO THE SPEAR, as Cage gets behind DEDEDE… pulls him up… GERMAN SUPLEX — but DEDEDE back-slides inbetween Cage’s legs to behind Cage and attempts the DEDEDE-O-MATIC, but Cage SWINGS back an elbow and CONNECTS THE DIAMOND DEMOLITION!!! HE HIT’S DEDEDE’S DIAMOND CUTTER, AND ROLLS DEDEDE TO HIS BACK WITH BOTH LEGS HOOKED!!!! BUT THE REFEREE IS OUT COLD, BLOODIED AFTER THAT CHAIRSHOT HE TOOK! DC BANGS his fists into the mat, and rolls out of the ring… and pulls out a SLEDGEHAMMER FROM UNDER IT, making a bad situation into a GREAT one!
Stew-O: For himself, perhaps, but he’s made a horrible situation that much worse as he’s stalking.. and we know damn well how much damage Cage can do with a Sledgehammer, but he’s going to milk this for what it’s worth as DEDEDE, with his hair red from blood and gashes all over his arms and a mean gash on the side of his body… he’s on his knees, and CAGE SWINGS THE SLEDGEHAMMER INTO DEDEDE’S SPINE!
HBG: DDD falls to his back, and Cage stands over him and… and SMASHES THE SLEDGEHAMMER INTO HIS NOSE! DEDEDE IS TWISTING AND TURNING IN PAIN, HIS NOSE IS FREAKING BROKEN! Cage turns DEDEDE to his back and flips the Sledgehammer upside down and STUFFS THE TOP OF THE HANDLE INTO DEDEDE’S MOUTH…. HE’S GONNA SHOVE THE SLEDGEHAMMER HANDLE DOWN HIS FREAKIN’ THROAT! AND CAGE REPEATEDLY STOMPS ONTO DEDEDE’S STOMACH! I CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE!
Stew-O: Look how far this has gone…. there was NO bluff behind DC’s words, he wants DEDEDE’s LIFE, JUST LIKE DEDEDE took away his life, his kids, EVERYTHING! He has NOTHING LEFT BUT THIS MOMENT, AND GOD DAMN IT HE’S GOING TO HAVE IT! DC is backed into the turnbuckle… waiting for DEDEDE to get up, as DEDEDE is gasping for air after being completely violated…. and DEDEDE’s back up, DC RUNS FOR THE SPIKE SLEDGEHAMMER SHOT — SPEAR!!!! DEDEDE TAKES CAGE DOWN WITH THE SPEAR!!! They’re both down, they’re both completely spent… absolutely drained! And DEDEDE, while seemingly lights out is aware enough to know that the referee is knocked out and that was the ONLY ref they had to officiate this match! DEDEDE, completely spent of energy musters enough to get to a knee… he has been tortured, I wouldn’t even wish this on anyone but you can’t say he didn’t deserve this! DEDEDE finally reaches vertical base and grabs Cage’s legs…. and is attempting the… THE METH LOCK!!!! HE’S GOT THE LEGS LOCK, AND THE VERTICAL MUTA LOCK IS APPLIED!!! METH LOCK SYNCHED IN ON DIAMOND CAGE, WHO IS ABSOLUTELY DEFENSELESS!
HBG: AND DEDEDE IS GOING TO KEEP THAT METH LOCK IN FOR AN ETERNITY IF HE HAS TO! But Cage is NO intention of tapping out! ZERO intention whatsoever! He’s barely got anything in the tank, but he doesn’t even seem to be considering the possibility of submitting!!
( DEDEDE motions to the stage )
( A man runs out in a referee shirt to the ring )
HBG: That’s.. that’s bizarre. A new referee’s running out here!
Stew-O: NO… NO HBG THAT’S NOT A REFEREE….. THAT’S CHRIS CORRUPT! THE YOUNG MAN DEDEDE FACED ON SHOWDOWN, THAT’S NOT A COINCIDENCE.
HBG: Huh???? But why’s he wearing a referee shirt???
( Corrupt slides in the ring as DEDEDE has an unconscious Cage in a Meth Lock )
( Corrupt raises the arm once, it drops )
Stew-O: WELL… DC DOESN’T SEEM TO BE RESPONDING!
( Corrupt raises DC’s arm the second time, it drops )
Stew-O: SOMETHING’S GOT TO GIVE! IS THIS IT FOR DC??
( Corrupt raises and releases DC’s arm for the third time, but DC holds it up showing signs of life )
HBG: He’s still alive! And Meth hooks that hold even TIGHER… AND CAGE REACHES OUT HIS ARM AND GRIPS THE MIDDLE ROPE! HE’S GOT THE NEARBY ROPE REACHED, BUT CHRIS CORRUPT ISN’T DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT! AND CHRIS KICKS DC IN THE EXPOSED MIDSECTION!
Stew-O: WHAT THE HELL???
HBG: CORRUPT IS STOMPING DC OVER AND OVER AGAIN, HITTING NEARLY A DOZEN KICKS INTO DC’S MIDSECTION AS DC IS PASSING OUT FROM THE PAIN… AND CORRUPT LIFTS DC’S ARM AGAIN AND DROPS IT!
( Chris signals for the bell )
Stew-O: OH FOR GOD’S SAKES!
( Ding! Ding! Ding! )
( “On Sight” hits as Mr. DEDEDE releases the Meth Lock and rolls out of the ring. Chris Corrupt follows DEDEDE to the bottom of the ramp and raises DDD’s arm; DC is in the ring laying in a pool of his own blood )
Announcer: The winner…. MISTEEEEER DEDEDEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Stew-O: YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS! THAT’S — THAT’S BULL CRAP!
HBG: What is the meaning of this??? You can’t tell me all this was a set up!
Stew-O: Mr. DEDEDE has just hit ROCK BOTTOM, HBG, THAT’S what’s going on! Diamond Cage has been ROBBED, AGAIN! This was supposed to be man to man, but DEDEDE couldn’t do that, could he!? He had to involve the man’s kids, he had to take every little cheap shot and cut every corner but this is TOO DAMN far!
( Corrupt helps DEDEDE to his feet as they exit quickly up the ramp. DC is seen unconscious in a pool of blood in the ring not moving )
HBG: But look what he’s left behind, he SAID he’d have DC just like this… in a pool of blood, torn, destroyed and DDD made good on his promise.
Stew-O: Absolutely shameless… Diamond Cage did NOT tap! He REFUSED to tap, he refused to die, but he had this match torn out of his hands by those two sniveling snake bastards… and you can only guess exactly why Chris Corrupt would help DEDEDE after LOSING HIS JOB to him a week ago.
HBG: Wow… I feel like I just got out of hell now that this thing is finally over. Or is it?
(Video package plays for the Showdown Extreme Elimination Chamber Match)
(Camera cuts back to the ring as spotlights appear on the descending Extreme Elimination Chamber structure while ominous music fills the arena)
Mak: Flash, we might get to see a dead body tonight… Merry Christmas to me.
Flashback: I want to ask you if you’re joking, but looking at that demonic structure coming down as it wraps itself around the ring and knowing six hungry competitors are going to put absolutely everything on the line just to win that World Heavyweight Championship that’s hanging at the top… You might actually be right.
Announcer: The following match… IS AN EXTREEEEEMMEEE ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH AND IT IS FOR THE VACANT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!!!!….. The match will begin with two competitors and four others in individual pods…. Every five minutes, a new competitor will be randomly selected to enter…. The only means of winning this match are by either only one competitor left after five others have been eliminated via pin or submission…. Or by retrieving the World Heavyweight Championship belt at the top of the Chamber!
Mak: This sounds absolutely morbid! Let’s get to it!
(A bright light appears from the rafters above the ring)
Mak: The fuck?
(A large spiral staircase begins to slowly descend from the rafters as //youtu.be/bYhLlz5bK6c begins to play)
Flashback: I think I know who this is..
(The staircase is swallowed by dark red lighting as flames begin to burst all around the stage while a figure can be seen descending the staircase while “Low of Solipsism” continues to play)
Mak: He’s here and he’s… What in the blue Hell is he wearing?
(“The Legendary” Sekaiichi steps onto the stage dressed in his usual black trench coat that covers his body with a mask on of his warpaint and hair… Sekaiichi slowly removes the mask to reveal black and red warpaint with pitch-black contacts in his eyes)
Mak: And just when I thought he couldn’t possibly get any more silly..
(Sekaiichi takes off his trench coat and throws it into the flames as he reveals new dark red attire with latin words in black written all over it… Sekaiichi tilts his head as he lifts his hands to reveal two steel, devilish gauntlets on his hands before he makes his way down to the ring)
Announcer: First, making his way to the ring…. From Las Vegas, Nevada!…. Weighing in at 237 pounds!…. “THE LEGENDARY” SEK! AI!! IIIIIIIIICCCCCCHHHHHHIIIIIIII!!!….
Flashback: It looks like Sekaiichi certainly has a unique weapon of choice in those gauntlets and I’m certain he’ll be looking to put them to good use too..
(“Street Dreams” by Hollywood Undead plays all throughout the arena as GI Styles makes his way out to the stage with his ribs bandaged up, the National Extreme Championship on his right shoulder, and a thick Oakwood Table in hand with “Dynamite Rain” graffiti on it)
Announcer: Next, making his way to the ring!…. From Toronto, Ontario, Canada!…. Weighing in at 202 pounds!…. HE IS THE E-A-W NATIONAL EXTREME CHAMPION…. G! I!! STTTTTYYYYYYLLLLLEEESSSSS!!!…..
Mak: How the fuck is he going to break anyone through that thick table?! GI seems more like he’s prepared to beat someone to death with that big piece of wood!
(“Lies” by Evanescence plays all throughout the arena as Tyler Parker makes his way out to the stage with a glass Hylian Shield in his hands)
Announcer: Next, making his way to the ring!…. From Syracuse, New York!…. Weighing in at 223 pounds!…. HE IS THE “LIEGE OF LIGHT”…. TYLER PAAAARRRRRRRRKKKKEEEERRR!!!….
Flashback: Wow – look at that weapon! Tyler has certainly upped the ante beyond his glass Triforce he debuted at the Grand Rampage!
(“Winter’s House” by Giles Corey plays all throughout the arena as the lights go out with Cy Henderson silently making his way towards the ring with a lantern in hand to illuminate his face and the barbed wire whip wrapped around his hand)
Announcer: Next, making his way to the ring!…. From Manhattan, New York!…. Weighing in at 295 pounds!…. HE IS THE “FABLED”…. CY HEEEEENNNNDDDEERRRRSSSOOONNN!!!….
Mak: It would seem Cy’s looking to take his opponents to S&M school with that barbed wire whip he debuted in the Extreme Battle Royale a while back.. But I think we know who the two men starting this match off now are!
(“Break” by Three Days Grace plays all throughout the arena as an annoyed Nick Angel makes his way out to the stage with his Tag Team Championship around his waist and a steel chain in hand)
Announcer: Entering at Number 2!…. From Dallas, Texas!….. Weighing in at 220 pounds!…. HE IS ONE-HALF OF THE E-A-W TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS AND REPRESENTING THE HOUSE OF RENEGADES…. NICK ANNNNNNNGGGGEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL!!!….
Flashback: That’s just the bad luck of the draw some people get! Unfortunately it happened tonight and Nick realizes that he may very well have to use that steel chain on his own partner!
(“This Means War” by Ozzy Osbourne and Busta Rhymes plays all throughout the arena as Hades The Hellraiser drives out to the stage on a custom “House of Renegades”-themed chopper and steps off with his Tag Team Championship and a steel chain)
Announcer: And lastly, entering at Number 1!…. From Devil Town, North Carolina!…. Weighing in at 312 pounds!…. HE IS ONE-HALF OF THE E-A-W UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS AND REPRESENTING THE HOUSE OF RENEGADES…. HADES! THE!! HEEEEELLLLLRRRRAAAIIISSSEEERRR!!!….
Mak: Hades is coming out in style, but that motorcycle is gonna be looking a lot more pretty than him by the end of this as it seems he and Nick are sporting the same weapon; potentially for double-team use, but now… Let’s get it started!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Flashback: Well, the bell has been rung and this contest is officially underway, but I don’t think neither Nick nor Hades knows the proper way to go about this… Both men seem to be discussing what to do here… And it looks like they’re agreeing to go at it in the spirit of this match! GI Styles and Tyler Parker seem amused at these circumstances the House of Renegades are under here as Nick and Hades look to start off what is sure to be a BRUTAL match! Hades and Nick drop their steel chains… And Nick catches Hades with a headlock in the center of the ring!
Mak: You’re shitting me..
Flashback: Hades quickly forces Nick off and into the ropes! HADES FOLLOWS BEHIND AS HE CLOTHESLINES NICK OVER AND SENDS HIM CRASHING HARD ONTO THOSE STEEL GIRDERS! Hades immediately eying that hanging World Heavyweight Championship as he makes his way through the ropes and reaches down for his Tag Team partner.. NICK PULLS HADES FACE-FIRST INTO THE WALL OF THE CHAMBER! I don’t think the “Big Devil” was expecting that possum move from Nick! Nick isn’t wasting any time as he climbs back to his feet.. And begins scaling that Chamber wall! Nick could be looking to take the vacant World Title hanging at the top instead of going to work and eliminating his fellow Renegade! Nick’s foot is caught by an annoyed Hades! Hades sends Nick dropping to his feet in front of him on the ground as both men argue! HADES SEEMS TO HAVE HAD ENOUGH AS HE GRABS NICK BY HIS HEAD AND DRIVES HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE GLASS OF CY HENDERSON’S POD! Nothing’s been broken yet; either the pod or Nick’s body, but Hades certainly doesn’t seem to be messing around or showing any mercy anymore as he pulls Nick up..
Mak: Now this is more like it! Hades.. PICKING NICK UP IN A GORILLA PRESS POSITION!! Nick’s fighting it! Nick escapes it and lands on his feet as Hades turns around! BEAUTIFUL DROPKICK CONNECTS AS HADES IS SENT OVER THE ROPES AND BACK INTO THE RING!! Nick quickly making his way through the ropes and over to his steel chain on the canvas! He’s got it… And so does Hades! Both men staring down with one another as they’ve both grabbed an end of that chain! Hades back up to his feet as he and Nick share a few words.. HADES WITH A HEADBUTT TO THE SKULL OF NICK! HADES PULLS THE CHAIN INTO HIS FULL CONTROL AND SWINGS IT FOR THE HEAD OF NICK!! Nick ducks it! HE’S GOT THE OTHER CHAIN AS HADES TURNS AROUND! BOTH MEN IMMEDIATELY WAGING WAR WITH THOSE CHAINS IN HAND!! BOTH OF THESE MEN ARE MERCILESSLY SWINGING THOSE CHAINS INTO ONE ANOTHER’S BODIES!! NICK SEEMS TO BE GAINING THE UPPER HAND HERE AS HE LASHES HADES WITH THAT CHAIN!! Hades being backed up into the ropes! NICK CHARGES! HADES SENDS NICK OVER THE ROPES! No–Nick lands on his feet! HE WRAPS HIS CHAIN AROUND THE THROAT OF HADES! NICK ANGEL CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF HIS PARTNER!! NICK IS SLOWLY DRAINING THE LIFE FROM HADES AS HADES’ FACE NOW TURNS A BRIGHT SHADE OF RED!! This could be it! Hades is fighting it… He slowly turns himself around…
Flashback: HADES HAS WRAPPED HIS CHAIN AROUND HIS FIST! HE SWINGS IT INTO THE FACE OF NICK! HARD SHOT TO THE FACE OF NICK CONNECTS! ANOTHER SHOT WITH THAT UNFORGIVING STEEL CHAIN! NICK LOSES HIS GRIP… HADES WRAPS A HAND AROUND NICK’S THROAT! HADES LOOKS LIKE THE ONLY THING ON HIS MIND IS WINNING THIS MATCH! HE’S GOT NICK UP! CHOKESLAM ONTO THE STEEL GIRDERS FROM HADES!!! Nick is absolutely WRITHING in pain following that! Hades seems as though he may want to end this as he now drags Nick into the ring… Hades signals the end!
10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4…
Mak: HADES WITH NICK ON HIS SHOULDERS!! THIS IS IT!!
3… 2… 1… BUZZ!!!
(A spotlight rapidly jumps between the four pods… Landing on GI Styles)
Flashback: Oh no! Hades stops his attack on Nick Angel as GI Styles is released from his pod!! Hades and GI stare down with one another! HADES QUICKLY MAKING HIS WAY OVER TO GI WITH THAT STEEL CHAIN IN HAND! GI DRIVES THAT OAKWOOD TABLE INTO THE GUT OF AN ONCOMING HADES! GI IMMEDIATELY NAILS HADES IN THE SKULL WITH THAT THICK TABLE! Hades drops down like a great Oak himself as he falls flat onto the steel girders! GI.. He just SLAMS that table onto the body of Hades! GI DROPS WITH A BIG SENTON ONTO THE TABLE AND HADES! Hades has gotta be hurting after being made into a sandwich with GI’s body weight, that thick table, and those steel girders all crushing his body! He could have some internal bleeding after that one! GI doesn’t seem finished just yet with Hades.. He’s looking to make our first elimination of the night right here and right now as he grabs that oakwood table and sets it up! GI quickly going back on the attack as he lays into a downed Hades with multiple stomps to the body! GI now looking to end it as he picks Hades up… Rolling him onto that table! GI’s looking for something big as he climbs up with him and pulls him up! GI’S PICKING THE BIG MAN UP! AMAZING STRENGTH; ESPECIALLY FOR AN INJURED MAN!! NICK ANGEL PULLS GI’S FEET OUT FROM UNDER HIM! GI DROPS HARD ONTO THE TABLE HADES NARROWLY ESCAPED THAT ONE THANKS TO HIS TAG PARTNER!
Mak: Nick immediately grabbing the skull of GI.. And drives the back of it into the table! Nick not letting up that easily as he repeats the move a few more times! That oakwood table has gotta hurt.. But it may not hurt as much as THIS! Nick grabbing GI and dragging his upper body off the table.. GI’s feet being the only thing hanging onto the table! THIS IS GONNA HURT! ELEVATED DDT CONNECTS OFF OF THAT TABLE AND DRIVES GI FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL GIRDERS!! WHAT A MOVE! You can see blood pouring down the face of Nick Angel from those chain-covered closed-fisted shots from Hades earlier, but Nick may no longer be alone as GI just took a mouthful of steel! You can just read the sadistic look upon the face of Nick Angel! He knows he’s got the National Extreme Champion exactly where he wants him! He wants his revenge on GI for all the confrontations they’ve had in which he came out empty-handed! Nick dragging GI slowly back up to his feet and shockingly, GI has yet to be busted open! NICK IMMEDIATELY DRIVES GI BACK INTO THE GLASS POD OF SEKAIICHI! NICK GRABBING GI AND DRIVES HIM ONCE AGAIN INTO THAT GLASS POD SKULL-FIRST! THE BACK OF GI’S SKULL JUST BOUNCING OFF OF THE GLASS! NICK SENDS HIM INTO IT FOR A THIRD TIME! NICK COMES BARRELING FOR GI!! GI CATCHES NICK WITH A BOOT TO THE FACE!
Flashback: GI CHARGES!! BACK BODY DROP SENDS GI ONTO HIS OWN OAKWOOD TABLE!! It doesn’t break! GI’s spine just taking great punishment as he writhes in pain on that table! Hades back in this as he sends multiple closed-fist shots into the face of GI on that table! Nick could be looking for something big here as he climbs up to the nearest top turnbuckle.. GI could be in dire straits here! The National Extreme Champion is already injured! He can’t take much more of this! NICK’S PERCHED! HE LEAPS! FLYING CROSSBODY CONNECTS ONTO GI STYLES ON THAT TABLE!!! THE TABLE HAS STILL NOT BROKEN AS BOTH MEN FALL OFF OF IT AND ROLL IN PAIN ON THE STEEL GIRDERS! Hades seems to be looking to eliminate the National Extreme Champion as he grabs a hold of GI… Dragging him back into the ring with him… HADES DROPS DOWN AND COVERS THE CHAMPION FOR OUR FIRST ELIMINATION OF THE MATCH!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!…….. TWO!!!!!!!!!!……….. THREE!!!!!!!
Mak: KICK OUT! GI STYLES SOMEHOW KICKS OUT OF IT!!
10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… BUZZ!!!
(A spotlight rapidly jumps between the three remaining pods…. Landing on Cy Henderson)
Flashback: This just got much more tougher for the House of Renegades!! Cy Henderson quickly exits his pod and makes his way into the ring as a startled Hades quickly turns around! BIG BOOT TO CY! IT’S DODGED! CY SWINGS HIS BARBED WIRE WHIP INTO THE BODY OF HADES AS HADES TURNS AROUND! CY IS WHIPPING HADES LIKE HE’S AN ANIMAL WITH THAT SADISTIC BARBED WIRE WHIP! HADES IS BEING BACKED INTO THE ROPES! CY WRAPS THAT BARBWIRE AROUND HIS ARM! HE CHARGES FOR HADES! HADES HAS IT SCOUTED AS HE PICKS CY UP AND DROPS HIM THROAT-FIRST ON THE TOP ROPE!! Hades looks like he’s just been reassured that’s okay as a damaged Cy turns around; backed up into the ropes.. HADES CHARGES! KICK TO THE GUT FROM CY! CY WRAPS THAT BARBED WIRE WHIP AROUND THE BACK OF HADES’ NECK! CY WITH GREAT STRENGTH SENDS HADES OVER THE ROPES AND CRASHING HARD ONTO THOSE STEEL GIRDERS!! Cy looks like he’s not finished yet as he makes his way through the ropes to go to work on Hades! Meanwhile, in the ring, LOOK AT THIS! GI’s doing his damndest to climb back to a vertical base, but he’s being stalked! Nick Angel’s awaiting for his opponent to get up and he’s not alone! Nick’s got GI’s Oakwood Table in hand! GI’S UP!
Mak: NICK MERCILESSLY DRIVES THE EDGE OF THAT TABLE INTO THE RIBS OF GI STYLES! GI drops to one knee in a great deal of pain! He’s about to cough up his guts after that one! Nick quickly sets up that table in the corner of the ring… Nick going back to his opponent–HE’S MET WITH A BIG BACKHAND FROM GI! GI IS NOT STAYING DOWN! GI UNLOADING WITH A FLURRY OF OPEN-HAND CHOPS TO THE FACE OF NICK ANGEL! NICK STOPS IT WITH A BIG KNEE TO THE RIBS OF GI! Nick now… HUGE IRISH WHIP INTO THAT TABLE!! NICK FOLLOWS BEHIND! HOLD ON–GI USES HIS MOMENTUM TO BACKFLIP OFF OF THE TABLE! BIG DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF NICK AFTER GI SOMEHOW LANDED ON HIS FEET! That table still has yet to break as a dazed Nick backs up.. GI CATCHES HIM WITH A WAIST LOCK FROM BEHIND!!! DEADLIFT SUPLEX!!!! NO–NICK’S FIGHTING IT AS HE DRIVES AN ELBOW INTO THE FACE OF GI! BLOOD NOW TRICKLING DOWN THE FACE OF GI AS NICK NAILS HIM WITH ANOTHER ELBOW–BREAKING GI’S GRIP! GI backs up as a damaged Nick turns around.. GI CHARGES WITH A FULL HEAD OF STEAM! NICK CATCHES GI WITH A MASSIVE POWERSLAM RIGHT INTO THAT OAKWOOD TABLE IN THE CORNER!! IT STILL HASN’T BROKEN!
Flashback: Cy Henderson and Hades continue to brawl as fists are flying all over! GI Styles has been broken unlike that table he brought into this match as he drops down to the canvas and writhes in pain! Nick Angel now… Nick climbs back to his feet.. He sees GI is downed… Hades and Cy are occupied with one another… NICK’S LOOKING UP AT THAT CHAMPIONSHIP! NICK’S GOING FOR IT! NICK’S CLIMBING UP TO THE NEAREST POD!! WE’RE ABOUT TO HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION BEFORE SEKAIICHI AND TYLER PARKER HAVE EVEN ENTERED THIS MATCH! NICK’S NOT WASTING ANY TIME! HE’S BLOODY AND HE’S BEATEN, BUT HE’S GOING FOR THE WIN! NICK USING THE CHAINS OF THE CHAMBER LIKE MONKEY BARS AS HE MAKES HIS WAY OVER TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP!! NICK CLIMBING THE FULL 16 FEET TO THAT TITLE! NEW CHAMPION! HOLD ON–NICK IS SWUNG AT FROM DOWN BELOW! IT’S GI STYLES!! GI’S GOT THAT OAKWOOD TABLE IN HAND AS HE SWINGS IT AT NICK AND JUST BARELY MISSING AS NICK MOVES! NICK IS LIKE A MAN HANGING OVER A PIRANHA PIT!! GI switches strategies s he sets up that table.. Nick trying to regain himself to get to the Title… GI’s is up on that table… What’s he.. HE’S GRABBING NICK’S FEET! NICK’S HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE!! LOOK OUT!! NICK IS PULLED DOWN INTO A MASSIVE POWERBOMB RIGHT ONTO THAT OAKWOOD TABLE BY GI STYLES!!!! WHAT A MOVE!! NICK IS BROKEN IN HALF! THAT TABLE STILL HAS NOT BROKEN!! BOTH MEN DROP OFF AS GI COVERS HIM!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!…….. TWO!!!!!!!!!!………. THREE!!!!!!!!!
Mak: AND WE HAVE OUR FIRST ELIMINATION!
Announcer: Nick Angel has been ELIMINATED!!….
10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… BUZZ!!!
(A spotlight rapidly jumps between the two remaining pods…. Landing on Tyler Parker)
Flashback: Nick Angel has become only the FIRST victim of this hellacious contest and perhaps even more to come as Tyler Parker rushes out of his pod with that glass Hylian Shield in hand! Hades is doing everything he possibly can to get to the downed GI Styles in the middle of the ring to avenge his fellow Renegade, but Cy Henderson isn’t letting him as Cy drives both men into the Chamber wall with a big shoulder thrust! Cy’s keeping him there as Hades lays into the back of Cy with clubbing blows! Tyler Parker seems to making a beeline straight for someone here as he makes his way over Cy and Hades’ side! TYLER PULLS CY AWAY FROM HADES! Both men staring down! CY’S HAND TURNS INTO A CLINCHED FIST! HE SWINGS WITH A BIG RIGHT HAND FOR TYLER! TYLER BLOCKS IT WITH HIS SHIELD! TYLER DRIVES BOTH MEN THROUGH THE GLASS OF AN EMPTY POD WITH A HUGE TACKLE USING THAT SHIELD TO AID HIM!!! Both men are downed, but they’re still showing signs of life! Both men brawling on the ground as a damaged Hades now turns his focus to the man who eliminated his Tag Team partner, GI Styles! Hades makes his way through the ropes as GI struggles to make it to his feet.. HADES SWINGS WITH A DECAPITATING BIG BOOT!! IT’S DUCKED AS HADES GETS HIS FOOT CAUGHT ON THAT OAKWOOD TABLE! GI RUSHES IN WITH A CHOP BLOCK TO THE BACK OF HADES’ FREE LEG!!
Mak: Hades is dropped down to the canvas in pain as GI seems to be running on fumes, but he’s doing all he can to stay alive as he continues to favor those damaged ribs! GI grabbing that oakwood table… Now setting it up in the corner as it was before when he fell victim to it… GI pulling Hades up to his feet! HADES TURNS IT AROUND AS HE SPRINGS TO HIS FEET AND PICKS UP GI AS BOTH MEN CRASH HARD INTO THAT TABLE!! THAT DAMN TABLE STILL HAS YET TO BREAK!! GI IS IN BIG TROUBLE HERE! HADES IS JUST WAILING INTO THE NATIONAL EXTREME CHAMPION WITH A FLURRY OF FISTS! GI CAN HARDLY DEFEND HIMSELF! HADES NOW PICKING GI UP ONTO HIS SHOULDER… LOOK OUT! RUNNING POWERSLAM INTO THAT TABLE! GI slides off in the knick of time! BIG LEAPING ENZUIGIRI TO THE BACK OF HADES’ SKULL CONNECTS! TYLER PARKER HERE OUTSIDE OF THE RING NOW JUST GRINDING THE FACE OF CY HENDERSON INTO THE CHAINS OF THE CHAMBER!! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! Hades still somehow on his feet following that big kick, but he’s on spaghetti legs! The National Extreme Champion seems to be pushing through the pain as he makes it back to his feet.. He drives a powerful kick into the body of Hades! Another kick connects! GI unloading into Hades with those educated feet of his! One big final kick sends Hades dropping back into that oakwood table in the corner! He’s ripe for the picking and GI knows it!
Flashback: Tyler seems to have now scaled the Chamber wall as Cy woozily makes it back to his feet! TYLER DROPS OFF WITH A BIG CLOTHESLINE! HE’S CAUGHT WITH A KICK TO THE GUT! CY PULLS HIM IN! CLIPPED WINGS CONNECTS RIGHT ON THE DAMN STEEL GIRDERS!!! GI has backed up into the adjacent corner… HE CHARGES WITH GREAT VELOCITY!!! BOMB RAID!!! HADES EXPLODES OUT OF THE CORNER AND TURNS GI INSIDE OUT WITH A MASSIVE LARIT!! Hades seems to be more fixated with punishing GI than eliminating him right now as he grabs a hold of him and drags him back up to his feet with him.. Hades picks up GI and places him on the nearest top turnbuckle… Hades climbing up there with him… GI’s fighting it! GI sending multiple headbutts into the skull of Hades! Hades drops down to his feet outside of the ring! HE RUSHES IN AND WRAPS A HAND AROUND GI’S THROAT!! NO, NO!! CHOKESLAM FROM HELL SENDS GI BREAKING THROUGH THE GODDAMN DOORS OF THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER!!!!! I’VE GOTTA SAY IT – BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!! GI’S LIMP BODY JUST CRASHED ONTO THE MAT OUTSIDE OF THE CHAMBER AS HADES LOOKS AT WHAT HE’S DONE! GI IS WRITHING IN PAIN; FAVORING THE RIBS! The Chamber’s locks have been shattered with that! Hades shakes himself back to reality and quickly looks to capitalize! Hades grabbing a hold of GI as he picks up the National Extreme Champion… Hades dragging GI back into the Chamber… Back into the ring.. HADES PICKS GI UP!!
10… 9… 8… 7… 6…
Mak: BRIMSTONE PILEDRIVER CONNECTS!!!! IT CONNECTS IN A BIG WAY AS HADES COVERS HIM!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!……. TWO!!!!!!!!!!………. THREE!!!!!!!!!!
Announcer: GI Styles has been ELIMINATED!!….
(The spotlight shines on the final occupied pod)
Flashback: Sekaiichi has officially entered this contest! Hades looks down at the damage he’s done to GI Styles and… He exits the ring? Where’s Hades headed? Hades is exiting the Chamber itself! He’s making his way up the ramp!! Sekaiichi quickly climbs up to the nearest top turnbuckle as Cy drives Tyler flipping spine-first into the Chamber wall! CY TURNS AROUND AS SEKAIICHI LEAPS! BIG FLYING KNEE CONNECTS RIGHT INTO THE FACE OF CY HENDERSON!! Hades seems to have disappeared into the backstage area! Sekaiichi now reaching down with those steel gauntlets of his… Wrapping them around the throat of Tyler Parker! Sekaiichi slowly choking the life out of Tyler with those gauntlets as he looks into his eyes with those pitch-black eyes he owns! SEKAIICHI SENDS TYLER PARKER THROUGH THE NEAREST GLASS POD!!!!
Mak: HOLD ON! HADES IS COMING BACK! HE… HE’S GOT A LADDER!! HADES HAS GOTTEN A LADDER! CAN HE DO THAT?!
Flashback: Anything goes, I believe!
Mak: HADES IS MAKING HIS WAY DOWN TO THE CHAMBER WITH THAT LADDER IN HAND! He may be on his way to winning this without even having to eliminate all of his opponents! Hold on! Sekaiichi seems to have taken interest as he enters the ring! Hades cautiously enters back into the Chamber and ring as well… Both Sekaiichi and Hades staring down with one another here! This is intense! Hades seems to be threatening Sekaiichi with that ladder! Sekaiichi better put those gauntlets of his to good use! Sekaiichi.. What’s he doing? He’s got something… ONE HIS GAUNTLETS IS SET ABLAZE!! THE OTHER ONE TOO?! SEKAIICHI HAS JUST SOMEHOW LIT BOTH OF THOSE STEEL GAUNTLETS ON FIRE!!! HADES DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK!! HADES CHARGES WITH THAT LADDER STRAIGHT FOR THE FACE OF SEKAIICHI! SEKAIICHI DUCKS OUT OF THE WAY AND NAILS HADES WITH A SHOT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH ONE OF THOSE FLAMING GAUNTLETS!! HADES DROPS THE LADDER AND TURNS AROUND IN A PANIC OF POTENTIALLY BEING SET ON FIRE! SEKAIICHI PULLS HIM IN! BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX CONNECTS!! Hades is both confused and damaged here! CY HENDERSON NOW DOING ALL HE CAN TO GET TO SEKAIICHI AS HE ENTERS THROUGH THE ROPES!
Flashback: SEKAIICHI STOPS HIM WITH A ONE-HANDED UPPERCUT USING THOSE FLAMING GAUNTLETS AS CY DROPS DOWN TO ONE KNEE! LOOK OUT! MERCY RULE!! SEKAIICHI WITH A DEVASTATING AXE KICK TO THE BACK OF CY’S SKULL! SEKAIICHI NOW PICKING HIM UP!! CY’S PANICKING WITH THOSE FLAMING GAUNTLETS OF SEKAIICHI AS SEKAIICHI HAS HIM UP ON HIS SHOULDERS! SEKAIICHI WITH A FIREMAN’S CARRY TAKEOVER OVER THE ROPES AND SENDS CY CRASHING HARD ONTO THE STEEL GIRDERS NEXT TO THE BROKEN CHAMBER DOORS! Tyler Parker’s skin has been shredded from the glass he’s been exposed to, but he’s still in this as he climbs up to the nearest top turnbuckle with an unsuspecting Sekaiichi in his sights!! TYLER LEAPS AS SEKAIICHI TURNS AROUND! CYCLONE KILL KICK CONNECTS RIGHT INTO THE FACE OF TYLER PARKER IN MID-AIR OUT OF NOWHERE!!! WHAT A DEVASTATING SHOT THAT WAS AS TYLER COULD POSSIBLY BE UNCONSCIOUS! Sekaiichi turns around–HADES WITH A HAND AROUND HIS THROAT! CHOKESLAM!!! THE CHOKESLAM CONNECTS OUT OF NOWHERE ON SEKAIICHI!! Hades may be on the verge of a HUGE elimination! Sekaiichi has never been technically pinned, let alone submitted!
Mak: My boy Hades is well on his way to becoming a Hardcore LEGEND! All he’s gotta do is end this! Hades seems reassured that he’s in control here as he avoids those flaming gauntlets of Sekaiichi.. Picking Sekaiichi up.. HE’S GOT HIM UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!! BRIMSTONE PILEDRIVER!!!! SEKAIICHI SLIDES OFF! KATAHAJIME!!!! THE KATAHAJIME IS LOCKED IN ON HADES THE HELLRAISER WITH THOSE FLAMING GAUNTLETS!!! SEKAIICHI DROPS DOWN AND TAKES HADES WITH HIM AS THOSE FLAMES BEGIN TO SINGE THE FLESH OF HADES!!! HADES HAS NOWHERE TO GO!! HE TAPS!!! HADES TAPS!!
Announcer: Hades The Hellraiser has been ELIMINATED!!….
Flashback: What a violent way to go out! Hades has been eliminated! GI has been eliminated! Nick has been eliminated! We’re down to three men and their names are “The Legendary” Sekaiichi, Tyler Parker, and Cy Henderson! Only ONE of these men will walk out of here as the new World Heavyweight Champion, but who could it possibly be?! Sekaiichi seems to be the only one in control over his two opponents as he turns his focus to Tyler Parker! Tyler is still coming back from that huge Cyclone Kill Kick he took only a little bit ago at the hands of the man that now stalks him! The proclaimed God by Damien S. Murrow! Hold on! Sekaiichi seems to notice something as he makes his way out of the ring… Cy Henderson seems to have exited through the Chamber doors! What’s he thinking?! Sekaiichi seems to have changed targets here as he goes after a damaged Cy… Cy pushes a crew member at ringside over! HE’S TAKEN SOMETHING FROM HIM! LOOK OUT! CY HENDERSON SPRAYS SEKAIICHI WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!! HE PUT OUT THOSE FLAMING GAUNTLETS OF SEKAIICHI IN THE PROCESS!! CY QUICKLY CLIMBS BACK TO HIS FEET AS SEKAIICHI SEEMS TEMPORARILY BLINDED! Cy’s up! HE CHARGES WITH THAT EXTINGUISHER!! SEKAIICHI CATCHES CY UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!! CY’S FIGHTING IT! LOOK OUT!! DEATH VALLEY DRIVER INTO THE STEEL BARRICADE NEXT TO THE RAMP CONNECTS!!! CY COULD BE BROKEN IN HALF!!
Mak: This has been ridiculously violent! These guys have utterly destroyed one another and it seems Cy is next in line for elimination! Sekaiichi grabbing a hold of Cy… Navigating him back into the Chamber… Sekaiichi sends Cy’s possibly unconscious body back into the ring! Sekaiichi enters AND HOOKS BOTH LEGS OF CY HENDERSON FOR OUR NEXT ELIMINATION!!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!……… TWO!!!!!!!!!!…………
Flashback: IT’S BROKEN UP?! IT’S BROKEN UP! TYLER PARKER JUST BROKE THE PIN UP!! WHAT’S HE THINKING?! THIS IS ELIMINATION! SEKAIICHI LOOKS EYE TO EYE WITH HIS PITCH-BLACK EYES AS THEY MEET THE FIRE-FILLED EYES OF TYLER PARKER!! SEKAIICHI TILTS HIS HEAD AS HE SEEMS BEWILDERED BY TYLER’S ACTIONS! Both men now slowly rising back to their feet here… Tyler Parker and Sekaiichi not even blinking as they rise back to a vertical base! TYLER IS THE FIRST TO SWING AS HE NAILS SEKAIICHI WITH A BIG FOREARM TO THE FACE! SEKAIICHI WITH A ONE-HANDED UPPERCUT ON TYLER! TYLER CONNECTS WITH A LOUD ROLLING FOREARM STRAIGHT TO THE FACE OF SEKAIICHI! TYLER COMING BACK IN A BIG WAY NOW AS HE CONTINUES HIS ATTACK ON SEKAIICHI!! Sekaiichi manages to dodge out of the way as he nails Tyler with a shot to the back and pulls him in.. ROLLING GTS!!
Mak: TYLER COUNTERS IT INTO A TILT-A-WHIRL ON SEKAIICHI!! Tyler may have just BARELY saved himself with the one! If he allows Sekaiichi to gain the upperhand on him, he’s DONE! Simple as that! He needs to follow up and eliminate this guy by any means necessary! Tyler looks to be doing just that as he climbs up to the nearest top turnbuckle… Possibly looking for a moonsault!! LOOK OUT!! SEKAIICHI IS BACK UP AND LEAPS STRAIGHT TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE UP THERE WITH TYLER PARKER!!! TYLER’S FIGHTING WITH EVERYTHING HE HAS AS HE SWINGS ELBOW AFTER ELBOW! KATAHAJIME!!!! SEKAIICHI LOCKS IN THE KATAHAJIME IN ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!! TYLER IS SCREWED!! CY HENDERSON IN FROM BEHIND AS HE LOCKS THE WAIST OF SEKAIICHI?!! GERMAN SUPERPLEX CONNECTS AS BOTH SEKAIICHI AND TYLER ARE SENT FLYING DOWN TO THE CANVAS AND CRASHING WITH GREAT VELOCITY!!! WHAT A MOVE!! THESE GUYS ARE PRACTICALLY ZOMBIES BY THIS POINT! THEY’RE JUST DOING WHAT COMES SUBCONSCIOUSLY NATURAL AND THAT IS WINNING THE MATCH! All three men are in great pain! All three men want to win this match more than anything! Nobody wants to let up! All three men now.. Racing to get to their feet! Sekaiichi – despite taking that huge German Superplex – seems to be the quickest!
Flashback: Sekaiichi rises up onto his feet! He’s met with the glaring eyes of both Cy Henderson and Tyler Parker! Neither man seems to even be acknowledging one another as they stare down with Sekaiichi! BOTH MEN CHARGE AS SEKAIICHI DOES ALL HE CAN TO FIGHT THEM OFF! FISTS ARE FLYING ALL OVER THE PLACE!! SEKAIICHI GRABS TYLER AND DRIVES HIM DOWN TO THE CANVAS, BUT SEKAIICHI IS IMMEDIATELY MET WITH A SERIES OF BLOWS FROM CY! SEKAIICHI SWINGING BACK AT CY WITH LOUD FISTS, BUT HE’S QUICKLY MET WITH MULTIPLE KICKS FROM TYLER PARKER!! Sekaiichi sends an elbow into the face of Tyler! SEKAIICHI WRAPS A HAND AROUND THE THROAT OF CY!! CY BREAKS THROUGH IT AND NAILS SEKAIICHI WITH A VIOLENT HEADBUTT!! SEKAIICHI’S CAUGHT FROM BEHIND BY TYLER!! ACROSS THE PARK!!!! ACROSS THE PARK CONNECTS!! TYLER ROLLS SEKAIICHI OVER FOR THE PIN!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!!!……… TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!…………
Mak: KICK OUT! SEKAIICHI KICKS OUT OF IT!! He’s not finished yet! Cy now quickly dragging Sekaiichi up! Cy laying into Sekaiichi! CY PULLS HIM IN!! RISING TIDE CONNECTS!!!! SEKAIICHI IS DRIVEN STRAIGHT INTO THE CANVAS!! CY HOOKS THE LEG!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!!…………. TWO!!!!!!!!!!!……..
Flashback: KICK OUT!! SEKAIICHI’S STILL IN THIS! Unbelievable!! Cy seems to have had enough! HE’S LOOKING FOR… HE’S GOT IT!! BERSERKER!!!! THE GOGOPLATA IS LOCKED IN TIGHT ON SEKAIICHI!!! CY HAS OPTED TO DRAIN SEKAIICHI INTO COMPLETE UNCONSCIOUSNESS AND IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING!! THIS HOLD HAS PUT SEKAIICHI OUT ONCE BEFORE AND IT COULD VERY WELL DO IT AGAIN!! LOOK AT THIS!! THIS IS INCREDIBLE!! SEKAIICHI IS TURNING IT AROUND!! SEKAIICHI HAS ROLLED CY ONTO HIS BACK AND NOW… NOW PICKING HIM UP!! SEKAIICHI IS SOMEHOW PICKING CY’S ENTIRE BODY OFF OF THE GROUND AND UP ONTO HIS SHOULDERS!!! POWERBOMB!!! NO–TYLER RUSHES IN WITH A BLOW TO THE MID-SECTION OF SEKAIICHI USING THAT GLASS HYLIAN SHIELD OF HIS!! Cy drops down as Sekaiichi drops to his knees! TYLER NAILS SEKAIICHI WITH SHOT TO THE FACE OF THAT GLASS SHIELD!! Tyler drops the shield onto the canvas and pulls Sekaiichi up… What’s he thinking?!! ACROSS THE PARK INTO THE GLASS SHIELD AS IT SHATTERS ENTIRELY!!!!!! SEKAIICHI HAS JUST BEEN LEFT IN A HEAP OF GLASS, FACE-DOWN!! TYLER SEEMS TO BE SIGNALING SOMETHING TO CY AS SEKAIICHI IS ROLLED ONTO HIS BACK! Blood is pouring like a river from the face of Sekaiichi as Cy grabs his barbed wire whip… CY’S CLIMBING UP TO THE NEAREST TOP TURNBUCKLE?!
Mak: No way! Hahahaha! I love this! I absolutely love this! Cy’s going up even further!! CY’S CLIMBING TO THE TOP OF THAT POD!!! THE RING WON’T BE ABLE TO TAKE THIS MUCH WEIGHT COMING DOWN!! HOLD ON!! DAMIEN MURROW JUST ENTERED THE CHAMBER! HE’S TRYING TO STOP THIS! DAMIEN IS STOPPED BY TYLER! DAMIEN’S BEGGING TYLER TO PUT A STOP TO THIS AS CY WRAPS THAT BARBED WIRE AROUND HIS RIGHT ARM! Tyler seems to be agreeing with Murrow?! What? NO–TYLER IMMEDIATELY DRIVES MURROW THROUGH THE NEAREST POD’S GLASS WALL!!! TYLER YELLS FOR CY TO GO FOR IT!! NO WAY!! LOOK OUT BELOW!!! DIVING ELBOW DROP CONNECTS!!!!! CY HENDERSON JUST DROPPED AN ELBOW FROM THE TOP OF THAT POD INTO THE HEART OF SEKAIICHI WITH THAT BARBED WIRE AROUND HIS ARM!! HE’S DEAD! SEKAIICHI IS DEAD!! CY ROLLS HIMSELF OVER ONTO THE BODY OF SEKAIICHI!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!!…….. TWO!!!!!!!!!!………… THREE!!!!!!!!!!!
Announcer: “The Legendary” Sekaiichi has been ELIMINATED!!….
Flashback: UN! BE! LIEVABLE!!! SEKAIICHI IS GONE FROM THIS MATCH!! IT’S DOWN TO CY HENDERSON AND TYLER PARKER! ONE OF THESE MEN IS GOING TO BE CROWNED WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THEIR CAREERS!! SOMEBODY IS WALKING OUT OF HERE WITH THAT CHAMPIONSHIP AROUND THEIR WAIST!! TYLER PARKER SEEMS TO BE THE LEAST HURT OF THE TWO MEN AS HE LOOKS TO END THIS! Tyler dragging the damaged Cy Henderson back to his feet.. That massive drop definitely took a lot out of him! He’s got him up! CY PULLS TYLER IN OUT OF NOWHERE!! RISING TIDE!!!! THE RISING TIDE CONNECTS!!!! CY’S GOT IT!! HE’S GOTTA COVER HIM!! I THINK THAT MAY HAVE BEEN PURELY OUT OF DESPERATION! NEITHER MAN IS MOVING AN INCH! SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE! CY DOESN’T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO MAKE THE COVER ON TYLER! ALL CY’S GOTTA DO IS GET THE ARM ACROSS TYLER’S CHEST! Hold on… HOLD ON!! KEVIN DEVASTATION HAS ENTERED THROUGH THE BROKEN DOORS OF THE CHAMBER!! Kevin Devastation’s got a sick look in his eyes! He’s eying the downed Cy Henderson! Cy’s starting to stir, but he’s quickly met with multiple stomps from Kevin!
Mak: Kevin now grabbing a hold of Cy… HE’S SETTING HIM UP!! BABYLONIAN REVELATION!!!! IT CONNECTS ON CY!! THIS GUY JUST DOESN’T KNOW WHEN TO GIVE UP! Hold on! Look at this! Kevin’s up and I think he just realized that the two remaining men in this match are down for the count! KEVIN’S LOOKING UP AT THAT HANGING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!! He’s got a sweet tooth for gold! He’s stolen that Championship once before and he’s gonna do it again! He’s the reason it’s come to this vacated state and now it looks like he’s gonna take it back into his possession as he grabs the ladder in the ring and sets it up! Kevin’s ascending the ladder as he inches his way to the grand prize! HOLD ON! WWEFAN AND SEVERAL SECURITY GUARDS RUSH OUT HERE! Kevin’s right there! He can grab it, but he’s cornered by WWEFan and his team! Kevin seems like a desperate man here! HE’S SHRUGGED IT OFF! HE’S GOING FOR THE GOLD!! LOOK OUT!! THE LADDER IS SENT TIPPING OVER AS KEVIN IS SENT CRASHING THROUGH THAT OAKWOOD TABLE IN THE CORNER OF THE RING!!!! TYLER PARKER STOPPED HIM!! THE OAKWOOD TABLE HAS FINALLY BEEN BROKEN THROUGH, AT LEAST! NOW WIN THIS THING! DO IT! Tyler’s climbing the ladder!! He’s got it steady and he’s looking to end it here!
Flashback: Tyler’s mere moments away from achieving his dream! All of the trials and tribulations he’s been put through could culminate here!! HE’S GOT IT! NO–THE LADDER’S WOBBLING! CY’S BACK IN THIS! CY’S CLIMBING THE LADDER AS TYLER TRIES TO REGAIN HIS BALANCE! CY’S UP THERE AS TYLER SWINGS! CY CATCHES TYLER WITH A RIGHT HAND! CY WITH A STEEL CHAIN IN HAND! HE NAILS TYLER WITH ANOTHER SHOT! TYLER DROPS!!! NO–TYLER MANAGES TO LAND ON HIS FEET AS HE LEANS ON THE LADDER! HE SENDS IT TOPPLING OVER!! CY CATCHES HIMSELF ON THE TOP OF THE NEAREST POD!! HE’S STILL IN THIS! HOLD ON–TYLER’S GOT THAT LADDER! HE DRIVES THE END OF IT INTO THE FACE OF CY!! Tyler quickly places the ladder across the top turnbuckle and begins climbing! Tyler pushing himself with all his might to get up there! HE’S GOT CY!! PICKING HIM UP!!! DEPRAVITY CONNECTS AS BOTH MEN CRASH THROUGH THE LADDER ACROSS THE TURNBUCKLE AND LAND ON THE CANVAS!!!!! THEY’RE DEAD! THAT’S THE END OF IT! THEY’RE DEAD AFTER THAT!!
Mak: Amazing! WWEFan’s sending several E.M.T.s out here immediately to check on both competitors following that! Per Pornfan, we might not HAVE a fucking Champion crowned! The medical staff now checking on the condition of both Cy and Tyler here.. It seems as though this is it.. Neither man is moving an inch… WWEFan now coming to check on–HOLD ON!! TYLER ROLLS OVER FOR AN ARM ACROSS THE CHEST OF CY!!! THE REFEREE’S GONNA COUNT IT!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!!……… TWO!!!!!!!!!!!………. THREE!!!!!!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Lies” by Evanescence plays all throughout the arena as the World Heavyweight Championship is lowered)
Announcer: THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST AND NNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!!……. TYLER PAAAAAARRRRRRRKKKKEEEERRRR!!!!!!
(Tyler Parker and Cy Henderson are checked on in the ring while Kevin Devastation is escorted out of the building by security)
Flashback: I really don’t have anything that could possibly be said about this epic contest we just witnessed between six fantastic athletes! That was one of the most insane contests I have ever witnessed in my career and I have witnessed a LOT of insane contests!
(Several members of the EAW roster and backstage crew members come out to the stage to clap for Tyler Parker and all of the men who competed)
Mak: I think that speaks for itself.
(Tyler Parker refuses a stretcher as he’s helped to his feet by multiple crew members while WWEFan proudly hands over the World Heavyweight Championship to him)
Flashback: One of the most violent and passionate battles I’ve ever witnessed, bar none. Congratulations to Tyler Parker, congratulations to each and every man who put their blood, sweat, and tears into this epic match up and thank each and every one of you in attendance and watching at home for joining us for this huge night! Signing off for Mak, the Heart Break Gal, Stew-O, I’m Flashback, and this has been THE SEVENTH ANNUAL ROAD TO REDEMPTION! THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT, EVERYONE!
(Confetti begins to rain down as a hurt Tyler Parker faintly raises his World Heavyweight Championship in the air as the fans and those around the ring clap before the camera fades to black)
( EAW logo buzzes )