(Jazz music begins to lightly play in the background as the cameras focus on Sofia Clarke, wearing a white blouse and black slacks. Sofia, with a smile on her face, begins to speak)
SOFIA CLARKE: WELCOME… Everyone to another special edition of the newly revamped, rebooted, reformed…. REAAAAL TALK! First and foremost I’d like to give a huge THANK YOU to all of our fans who supported last weeks episode featuring none other than one half of the EAW Empire Tag Team Championships AND finalist for the 2018 Empress of Elite tournament, Kassidy Heart. Now, in this week’s Real Talk our next guest is none other than the FIRST EVER guest on our show… the acclaimed, the praised, the feared… Astraea Jordan!
(The camera focuses on Astraea, who walks into frame wearing a silver embellished jumpsuit. Astraea smiles and gives Sofia a hug as they both sit down.)
SOFIA CLARKE: Thank you so much for coming on our show once more, Astraea!
AJ: Thanks for having me, always a pleasure being around you. However, I can’t say I’m exactly happy to be here right now.
SOFIA CLARKE: Is that so? Why’s that?
AJ: Just a..wild week for me. But I guess I should be hype about the fact I was on the first Real Talk and now I’m back again!
SOFIA CLARKE: Well, that’s certainly interesting to know. But I have to ask, how does it feel being a finalist in this years Empress of Elite?
AJ: Girl, you already know I’ve been waiting since LAST YEAR’s tournament to get my shot at redemption and getting past the second round was so big for me now I’m in the finals? That shit is crazy, for real, but I didn’t doubt I was capable of getting to this point, not for one second.
SOFIA CLARKE: I can definitely say that you have always been one of my FAVORITE EAW Elitists on the Empire brand and I see nothing but absolute success coming your way.
AJ: Be careful saying that, Sofia, you’ll be brought up in the next conspiracy theory about me.
SOFIA CLARKE: For those of you who have never seen our show, we love to take LIVE calls from our EAW audience so if you’d like to be featured as a caller, please call the number 1(800) EAW-TALK! Also use the hashtag #ASTRAEABETTER and #REALTALK on your social media postings to get a quick shout out later on with the show. Alright! You ready, Astraea?
SOFIA CLARKE: Perfect! Harley, come on out here! The fans love ya!!!
(An overweight man in his mid 30’s shyly emerges as he places an old home phone in between Astraea and Sofia. He begins to fiddle with the wires as he finally finishes seconds after.)
SOFIA CLARKE: Ooop, you hear that dial tone folks. It’s time! Let’s see who’s our next caller! (Sofia pushes a button) ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND YOU’RE LIVE WITH ASTRAEA JORDAN! PLEASE STATE YOUR NAME AND WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION?
CALLER: The name is Bonnald.
AJ: Here we go.
BONNALD: Astraea, you poppin’ that pussy for a real goon?
(Sofia turns her head as she covers her mic with her hand.)
SOFIA CLARKE: (muffled) Harley can you trace back this number?
AJ: You don’t need Harley, I got plenty of people who can do that job for ya, easy and quick, trust. I just gotta call em’ up and-
BONNALD: Yo! Chill! I’m joking… Forreal though, get yourself a real man. That bozo who you’re with ain’t nothing of a man.
AJ: And you are? Fuck off my line, you bum ass nigga. Talk some more bullshit and you gon’ find out who’s really real. Sofia, I thought you said this wouldn’t happen again..
BONNALD: iight, I said I was going to be serious and I will. So my question is that how do you feel going against Kassidy for this years EOE finals?
AJ: I feel confident. I’ve had a lot on my plate but these finals have always been my top priority and that will show at Manifest Destiny. Ain’t no blonde bimbo bitch beating me. I fully intend on doing everything in my power to make sure her lil fairytale don’t come true and send her back to wherever the fuck she’s from with broken bones and a broken spirit. She wants to say she worked so hard and didn’t come this far to lose. This shit is deadass 10 years in the making for me! Ain’t nobody worked as hard as I have nor have they come as far as I have and if she thinks for one second that shit is sweet because she wanted to try to give me a sob story about how she’s never been taken seriously, she’s sadly and quite pathetically mistaken.
BONNALD: Bruhhh, you ain’t gotta be that aggressive! You think you gonna’ win?
AJ: Is that a joke? Duh. Fuck kinda questions are these?
BONNALD: You sure you ain’t gonna choke like years past?
AJ: Lemme find out where the hell you live nigga I got eyes everywhere. Everybody that brought up me quote “choking” choked in this tournament themselves so as far as I’m concerned, can’t nobody tell me shit about shit because they’re below me.
SOFIA CLARKE: Alright, I think that’s enough of Bonnald McDonald… Next caller. YOU. ARE. LIVE!
CALLER: Astraea! My fave! My name is Sandra Williams and I’m from Mississippi. I just wanted to say I really hope you beat Trashedy Heart! One of her fans recently snatched my wig while I was out on the street… I paid $500 for that weave! Your victory over her will be priceless, though. What I wanna know is what you’re gonna do after you win? We need a victory for you to stand in solidarity with your fans; fans like me. Kassidy Heart wins and what’s it going to be? More of the same, just another pretty face.
AJ: Hi Sandra! You sound like somebody I’d get along with. After I win, we t’ing up, of course! I’m doing this for my city and my brothers and sisters, I say that every big match and I mean it and I SHOW it. Everybody that’s ever bought merch, made me fan art, sent me mail, just tuned in to watch a match, are all invited to the proverbial cookout. You damn right Kassidy would just be another pretty face. I know she’s oddly enough the favorite to win this off the odds I’ve seen yet she continues to cry about being the underdog, but that’s because there’s never been a woman like me in that position and you know..certain people don’t ever wanna see that. Imma keep breaking barriers, though.
Sandra: Another thing I’m quite curious about is, should you win, and you seem as confident as me that you will, girl! What steps are you going to take to not follow in the footsteps of one of my former heroes in the EAW women’s division? Simply put, you win and become the face of this place, what preventive measures are you going to take to not go from the face of EAW to replaced in EAW?
AJ: Well first I ain’t gonna surround myself with a bunch of yes men and women who take every word I say as gospel. It’s clear now who the real ones are and those people and I are close. Anybody else can choke, especially the ones who have been praying on my downfall all year, talking shit behind my back to get in good graces with the ones who act just like those “former heroes” you mentioned. This ain’t high school, why the hell y’all in cliques following each other’s every move? That’s why y’all can’t stand somebody like me who don’t depend on anybody else to get shit done. I got my man and my fam and that’s all the support I need outside of the fans. I’ve been authentic and real with y’all this whole time, I ain’t switching up. You know how I feel about specific people and topics. You know how I roll. You know why I do this. You know how I got here. Them other bitches got shit handed to them one way or another, I’ve worked for everything I’ve had. If you can’t see the difference between me and them, you ain’t somebody I want on my side, you know? Positive people breed positive results.
Sofia Clarke: Strong words right there!
Sandra: Oh, and one more thing before I go: Kassidy Heart doesn’t care about black peo-
Sofia: And we’re going to take it to our next caller! Not sure what that was all about. (Sofia pushes button) … You’re on with Astraea Jordan, the promising, youthful, vibrant women’s wrestling megastar!
CALLER: Astraea, baby girl, Marcus from the heart of Detroit right here. You’ve been sounding off on everybody lately. Your confidence reaching highs we ain’t seen from anyone in EAW in a minute. How you gonna stop that big head from turning into a five head?
Sofia: Wow, strong words toward Astraea by Marcus from Detroit.
AJ: Excuse me? You know what, I got you. You Detroit dudes ain’t all that different from the dudes I used to mess with. Listen, I’ve been humbled time and time again, you see Marcus, and I’ve gone from having no confidence to all the confidence, and it ain’t for no reason. I ain’t have to gas myself up, others do it for me. I’ve put on match of the year contenders ALL YEAR, I’ve shocked the world, I opened their eyes to new options. You ain’t gotta be kissing some cac bitch’s ass who gon’ turn around and pull some snake shit on ya later, the ones that really don’t care about wrestling and just want money, the ones that act ungrateful, the ones that point fingers and blame others for their shortcomings. Nah. I’ve taken responsibility for every loss I’ve suffered so I know what it’s like to be at the bottom. I empathize. Now I’m working my way to the top and I sit here a champion. Now, I just need to be THE champion, ya feel?
Marcus: OK, OK, I see you, ‘Straea! My next question… You’ve had championship opportunities in the past, big time opportunities, opportunities to thrust you into the conversation of being the best EAW has, period. How is your mindset different this time around? What puts you in prime position to drag Kassidy’s face against the pavement?
AJ: These hands are what put me in prime position. Plain and simple. But my mindset is very different now for multiple reasons. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the fire I do now prior to this week. Shit’s just a different vibe. This is me, one-on-one with Kassidy in the main event of a free-per-view, and I earned my spot here by eliminating everyone who stepped in the way. I ain’t worried about the background noise around me, there won’t be anybody at ringside, the crowd is split between us, we both got things to prove even if hers pale in comparison to mine..it’s gon’ be lit is all I can really say. We tearing that shit up regardless of the result because that’s just the type of competitor I am.
Marcus: Ayy! That’s what I’m talking about. Sounding like a fighting champion already, I love it. Oh, and just wonderin’, not for any particular reason… Do you only date famous guys? Is it ok if my credit score is sub-550?
AJ: When I met Malcolm he was hardly famous, breh. No offense to him. I was just getting clout myself. And before that, well…far from fame and good credit scores, hun. If you got a big heart and big dick, you have a chance. Would’ve had, I guess. I’m happy with who I’m with, though, so you niggas gotta step pressing me tryna slide in my dms and shit. That goes for all y’all!
Sofia Clarke: Yeesh! And with that we’ll take it to our next caller. (Sofia Clarke presses button… ) … You’re on!
CALLER: Hey, this is Mike from Arkansas. Back in the REVOLT days, when you were facing Sienna Jade she called you something along the lines of “street rat.” She said you should be protesting on the streets, not wrestling. Do you take exception to those kind of remarks? And since Kassidy Heart has been so near and dear to her, is there a particular deep-seated ax to grind here stemming from that past war of words? Surely seeing Kassidy crumble could serve as a bit of karmic justice for you.
AJ: Hi Mike. What Sienna said to me is nothing new honestly, as horrid as it may sound to the rest of you. I been dealing with that all my life and I’ve more than grown accustomed to even expecting that out of my..lighter skinned opponents. They try to tear me down with stereotypes and call me names out of their own insecurity and weakness. Kassidy hasn’t stooped that low, at least not yet, but I do realize it’d really get under Sienna’s skin to knock her girl out the finals. Hmm..
Sofia Clarke: No words minced there from you, Astraea. Our callers definitely love the spirit. A well-thought-out question, but we’re running out of time so we’ll take one more caller… OK! You’re tuned in! Say hello to Astraea Jordan!
CALLER: Hey, Astraea, or as my folk would say “Trashy” Astraea, just letting you know you wouldn’t be anywhere in this business if you didn’t come into it with a silver spoon in your mouth, quickly being given a co-sign by the legendary Mr. DEDEDE. You talk tough but where that has that gotten you? Stuck between a rock and a hard place because now you have to write checks that underneath the facade of self-confidence you know you can’t cash because you’re a sad, insecure little girl. A diva. And I personally can’t wait to see Kassidy Heart wipe the floor with you.
Sofia Clarke: I mean, hold on, that’s a little venomous. This isn’t really the forma-
AJ: This is just what I was talking about. You real bold cuz you ain’t face to face with me and I know you’d never say any of this in real life. I’ve long disputed claims of me being fed with a “silver spoon” along with anything about Gawd Complex and DEDEDE. I talk tough because I can back it up and if you’d watch any of my matches ever, you’d know that and wouldn’t jump at the first chance to make such an ignorant statement. Or you can come experience first hand, just gimme that name and address if you so bad then we’ll see who puttin’ on the facade here. Do it before I win, though, an Empress gotta stay classy.
Sofia: Wow! An emphatic, decisive statement from Astraea Jordan as she readies herself for the possibility of being crowned Empress of Elite. Thank you so much for your time, Astraea. Any final parting words, or did that about do it?
AJ: Really, it’s no problem, Sofia. I’m always down to come on again. To my fans, keep that energy up. You keep me going every day. Wouldn’t be doing this without you. To the haters, tune into Manifest Destiny and watch ya fav Kassidy get dragged from Brooklyn to Chiraq.
Sofia: Okay, everybody! That wraps up this very special edition of REAL TALK! Once again, I appreciate your time, Astraea, and to our esteemed viewers, that’s all the time we have for tonight! Goodnight, folks!
(Sofia jubilantly waves, but Astraea is all business, staring with a straight face before quickly walking off the set as the scene fades to black)