( In Honor and memory of Justin ‘’Extreme Enigma’’ Barnabei, Rest in Peace )
( A dark screen appears on the screen, as only Stew-O can be heard )
Stew-O **Voice-over**: This is the biggest match of the year, do or die…
( Highlights of the previous Grand Rampage matches can be seen on the screen )
Stew-O **Voice-over**: You win and you get the biggest opportunity of a lifetime …
( Highlights of the endings to all Six Grand Rampages play with the winners celebrating )
Stew-O **Voice-Over**: Lose and you lost everything …
( Highlights pan of the reactions of the runners-up from the last six Grand Rampages )
Stew-O **Voice-Over**: There is no other night quite like this, it’s the most unpredictable night in history.
( Highlights of Cyclone winning the Grand Rampage, arguably the most shocking upset of all time )
Stew-O **Voice-Over**: You never know just what will happen, I’ve been here since the start and I’m always shocked. Every time.
( Highlights of CM Banks returning in 2011, Mr. DEDEDE in 2012, Extreme Enigma in 2013 )
Stew-O **Voice-Over**: It really is You vs Them, Your dreams vs their dreams.
( Highlights of Tyler Parkers Iron-Man performance last year and winning a battle royal on Showdown to get _#30 )
Stew-O **Voice-Over**: It’s your ambition vs their ambition.
( Highlights of Zack Crash going undefeated in 2014 and declaring himself into the Grand Rampage )
Stew-O **Voice-Over**: It’s your reality vs their reality.
( Highlights of Jacob Senns 2014, battling with Tyler Parker, Sekaiichi and WWEFan )
Stew-O **Voice-Over**: It’s your legacy vs their legacy.
( Highlights of Cameron Ella Ava vowing to win GR for HBB and Jaywalker vowing to eliminate her )
Stew-O **Voice-Over**: It’s all you’ve ever wanted vs everything they’ve ever wanted.
( Highlights of Hades The Hellraiser destroying everybody in his path in the previous Grand Rampage )
Stew-O **Voice-Over**: Your goals vs their goals.
( Highlights of DEDEDE’s struggles with Kendra Shamez, THOR and Mikado Sekaiichi )
Stew-O **Voice-Over**: One shot, one opportunity at greatness, you either take it …or you don’t, but at the end of the day …
Stew-O **Voice-Over**: It’s either YOU Main Eventing Pain for Pride or THEY are main eventing Pain for Pride. Choose carefully.
( ‘’Victory’’ by DJ Khaled ft Nas and John Legend plays as the camera pans into thousands of fans going wild and carrying signs, as red and black and gold pyro shoots up from the stage, going down the ramp and ending at the turnbuckles )
Stew-O: HERE WE ARE, WE’RE OFFICIALLY UNDER WAY, WE’RE OFFICIALLY ON THE ROAD TO PAIN FOR PRIDE SEVEN!!!!! Good evening ladies and gentlemen, tonight is going to be HUGE as it is for the Grand Rampage, possibly the most OPEN Grand Rampage in history and we’re obviously hoping it is going to be a Dynasty extremist who wins the Grand Rampage, Zack Crash, Starr-Stan, Jaywalker have ALL made big cases in winning it this year!
HBG: Yeah Stew, obviously it is going to be me when I enter and KICK SOME ASS! Really though, tonight is going to be massive as Diamond Cage challenges Dark Demon for the Answers World Championship, Cage has defeated or taken out EVERYBODY in his way for the last six months, can he add Demon to that list?
( Camera pans to a smiling Masters and Mak at the Showdown commentary table )
Masters: Sorry Stew-O but obviously we’ll be hoping it is going to be from SHOWDOWN who wins Grand Rampage this year, with Tyler Parker, Hades the Hellraiser and Jacob Senn representing us, you have to give Showdown the edge ALTHOUGH, maybe a surprise is in store like last year, could we see another person winning the GR who we didn’t even think of?
Mak: Oh shut the fuck up, I couldn’t give a damn who’s winning, although I care about is OUR Mikado retaining his World Heavyweight Championship, I’d complain about your dumbass not respecting your Mikado by mentioning him first but I suppose you’re still mourning the death of Adolph, right?
(DING! DING! DING!)
(Camera cuts to the Announcer in the middle of the ring that’s surrounded with ladders)
Announcer: This opening contest is a LADDDDDEERRRR MATCH!!…. The man who can climb a ladder and retrieve the contract hanging above the ring will have earned himself a guaranteed spot in the 2014 Grand Rampage match!….
(“If I Had A Heart” by Fever Ray plays all throughout the arena as Prince of Phenomenal confidently makes his way out to the stage, dressed in blue and white attired and a hooded vest; pulling off the hood as pyro explodes across the stage)
Announcer: First, making his way to the ring…. From South Beach, Florida!…. Weighing in at 220 pounds!…. THE PRINCE! OF!! PHHHHHHEEEEEENNNNNOOOMMMEEENNAALL!!!….
Mak: Just look at the confidence that’s practically oozing from POP’s every pore! He knows he’s got what it takes to exact his revenge on DEDEDE tonight!
(“On Sight” by Kanye West plays all throughout the arena as a smoke screen covers the stage before DEDEDE walks through it; dressed in dominantly black tights with some red on it and a look of determination on his face)
Announcer: And his opponent!…. Making his way to the ring…. From Fort Lauderdale, Florida!…. HE IS “THE MASTER MANIPULATOR”…. DE! DE!! DDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!…..
Masters: Hold on! DDD’s wasting no time getting to work as he immediately grabs a hold of the nearest ladder on the outside! POP knows this match his already underway with or without a bell! POP COMES CHARGING! HE LEAPS TO THE TOP ROPE!! PLANCHA ONTO DDD!!! NO–POP IS NAILED WITH A LADDER TO THE FACE IN MID-AIR!! What a collision that was! DDD looks at the downed and damaged Prince of Phenomenal with absolutely NO mercy whatsoever in his eyes! DDD DRIVES THE LADDER INTO THE BODY OF POP! AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN!! POP is screaming in pain on the outside here! DDD now stalking his opponent as POP struggles to get back to his feet here… POP’s up! DDD DRIVES THE TOP OF THAT LADDER RIGHT INTO HIS STOMACH! He leaves that ladder against POP and backs up… DDD comes charging! Running up the ladder! KNEE CONNECTS TO THE FACE OF POP!! DDD quickly grabs a hold of POP and sends him rolling back into the ring; sliding in the ladder before entering himself so that the Official can start this match…
(DING! DING! DING!)
Mak: DDD’s wasting no time as he immediately backs up into the nearest corner! He’s got a lust for blood and destruction in his eyes that we haven’t seen in some time! POP’s in a great deal of pain here as DDD yells for his opponent to stand up! POP’S UP AS DDD COMES BARRELING! SPEAR!!!! MASSIVE SPEAR NEARLY BREAKS POP IN HALF!!! Just like that, POP has somehow been reduced to a damn-near lifeless pile of flesh! DDD looks to be in full control of this match! He may have this in the bag right here and now as he gets back to his feet and glances up at that contract that he needs to reach should he wish to go to the Grand Rampage match here tonight! Hold on… DDD doesn’t look too concerned! DDD turns his focus back to a badly hurt Prince of Phenomenal… DDD slapping the back of POP’s head multiple times; just taunting his opponent as he verbally assaults him… DDD picks up that ladder in the ring.. And just drops it right across the skull of POP! POP is desperate here! He’s doing all he can to find refuge in this match! DDD drops to the outside and quickly searches underneath the ring for something…
Masters: DDD pulls out a kendo stick! This isn’t going to be pretty! DDD quickly slides back into the ring and goes right back to taunting the downed POP! POP doing all he can to grab some ropes; anything that can help him up as DDD kicks his hands away from them! KENDO SHOT TO THE SPINE! ANOTHER LOUD SMACK OFF THE BACK OF POP WITH THAT KENDO STICK!! DEDEDE IS JUST SADISTICALLY UNLOADING ON POP WITH THAT KENDO STICK!! DDD clutches the hair of POP and drags him up to his knees.. KENDO SHOT OFF THE STERNUM OF POP! AGAIN! AGAIN!! DDD IS JUST GOING TO TOWN HERE!! DDD gets behind POP; wrapping that kendo stick around his throat and dragging him up to his feet! WHITE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP WITH THAT KENDO STICK CONNECTS!! DDD now still not finished here! He’s setting POP up for something… LOOK AT THIS! METH LOCK!!!! THE METH LOCK IN TIGHT USING THAT KENDO STICK AROUND THE THROAT OF POP!! POP’S QUICKLY TAPPING OUT, BUT THAT WON’T END THIS MATCH!! THERE’S NO SAVING GRACE IN GIVING UP HERE!! POP’S QUICKLY FADING HERE AS DDD SLOWLY CHOKES EVERY BIT OF LIFE OUT OF HIM!! POP’S OUT!! DDD breaks the Meth Lock as it looks like he’s going to finally climb up… No! He’s not finished with POP yet!
Mak: I think this match has quickly turned one-sided here! POP has been mercilessly beaten and battered thus far! I don’t think he’s gotten a single offensive maneuver in yet! DDD picks up that ladder… DEDEDE DDT SENDS THAT LADDER INTO THE BODY OF POP!! DDD’s enjoying every bit of this! He knows he’s in full control and he intends to get every bit of his money’s worth in this bout! DDD slowly drags POP back up… DDD with a big grin across his face! HE PULLS HIM IN!! GRAND SLAM!!!! THE GRAND SLAM CONNECTS RIGHT ONTO THAT LADDER!! WHAT VELOCITY AS THE HEAD OF POP BOUNCES ON IMPACT!! DDD is loving every moment of this! DDD quickly gets back to his feet… Oh boy! Look at this! DDD looking towards the crowd and now the downed POP on that ladder… DDD slowly… He pulls off that right elbow pad and tosses it into the crowd! DDD’S SUMMONING THE GAWD HERE AS HE CHARGES INTO THE ROPES AND BACK! BOTTOMLESS ELBOW CONNECTS ON POP!!!! DDD now grabs the body of POP and sends him crashing to the outside!
Masters: DDD’s ripping off the mat to expose cement underneath! He quickly grabs a hold of POP and drags him to his feet… DIAMOND DEMOLITION RIGHT ONTO THAT CEMENT!!!! POP is DECIMATED! Absolutely decimated! DDD picks POP’s lifeless body back up and sends him rolling into the ring as he quickly grabs a chair from underneath the ring! DDD slides in with cruel intentions as he grabs POP’s head… And sticks it between the two sides of that ladder! DDD’S GOT THAT CHAIR UP!! CONCHAIRTO!!!! CONCHAIRTO!!!! CONCHAIRTO!!!! DDD’S UNLOADING WITH RAPID CONCHAIRTOS OFF THE SKULL OF POP AS HE’S SANDWICHED IN THAT LADDER!!! POP’S GOTTA BE CONCUSSED! HE’S GOTTA BE UNCONSCIOUS!! DDD quickly rolls back to the outside! He quickly pulls out a table! This is getting worse and worse for POP! DDD slides that table in and quickly sits it up after he re-enters; wasting no time in further annihilating his opponent! DDD grabs POP and quickly places him on that table… DDD… He opts not to use the ladder in the ring and instead goes back to the outside; making his way up to… Oh my! DDD GRABS THE NEAREST TWENTY-FOOT LADDER!! DDD’S GOT SOMETHING BIG IN MIND AS HE NAVIGATES THAT LADDER INTO THE RING!! DDD SLIDES IN AND QUICKLY SETS THAT LADDER UP! HE GRABS THE CHAIR!! DDD STARTS CLIMBING!!! HE’S GOING TO PUT AN EMPHATIC END ON THIS MATCH!! HE’S UP THERE!! HE’S GOT NO REMORSE!! POP’S A SITTING DUCK!! WINGS OF HELL!!!!!! THE WINGS OF HELL CONNECT AS POP IS UTTERLY DECIMATED!! UTTERLY DECIMATED!!
Mak: E.M.Ts now rushing out here to retrieve POP’s body, but DDD looks like he’s not quite finished! DDD slowly climbs back to his feet… What’s he thinking?… HE’S CLIMBING BACK UP THAT MASSIVE LADDER! HE’S CLIMBING UP THERE!! DDD’S LOST IT!! HE’S UP THERE!! SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!!!!! SHOOTING STAR PRESS CONNECTS!!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!! DEDEDE HAS JUST ENDED THE CAREER OF PRINCE OF PHENOMENAL!!! DDD–SOMEHOW STILL MOVING!! DDD SLOWLY RISES BACK TO HIS FEET AND STUMBLES INTO THE ROPES!! DDD looks more than satisfied with what he’s just done to POP! DDD grabs that 20-foot ladder and scoots it into the middle of the ring! POP being looked at by medical technicians as DDD ascends the ladder! His ribs are definitely hurting, but he’s climbing nonetheless! HE PULLS DOWN THE CONTRACT!! IT’S OVER!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“On Sight” by Kanye West plays all throughout the arena as DEDEDE proudly displays the contract in his hand while E.M.T.s navigate POP onto a stretcher)
Announcer: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND ADVANCING TO THE GRAND RAMPAGE MATCH…. DE! DE!! DDDDDEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Masters: What an assault we’ve just witnessed here tonight! DDD has DESTROYED the Prince of Phenomenal! And I mean DESTROYED him! POP has been dismantled unlike no other! DDD’s holding his ribs; he sacrificed his own body despite having the upper-hand, but that’s just how far he’s willing to go! This victory proves to be a very good omen for DDD tonight! He’s one step further to proving Kendra Shamez wrong! He’s one step further to winning the Grand Rampage and going to the main event of Pain For Pride! Congratulations to DEDEDE!
(POP is shown being stretchered off while DDD looks up towards the sky with a smile on his face)
(Camera cuts backstage where multiple Grand Rampage entrants wait in a line to grab their individual numbers from a small tumbler that’s ran by two beautiful young women)
Beautiful Young Woman _#1: Alright, boys… Who’s next?
(A confident Eddie Mack steps up to the tumbler)
Eddie: That would be me.
(Eddie gives a big smile to the beautiful young women as he sticks his hand into the tumbler)
Beautiful Young Woman _#2: You don’t need to go that deep into the tumbler, sir.
Eddie: Oh yeah? Well I enjoy going deep. Real deep.
(Beautiful Young Woman _#2 steps away from Eddie)
Beautiful Young Woman _#1: She’s right, sir, you don’t need to put your entire arm in there.
Eddie: Oh yeah? Well there’s a lot of things I’d put my entire arm into.
(Eddie slowly nods as he smiles at Beautiful Young Woman _#1, who shivers and quickly backs away from him while Devan Dubian rolls his eyes behind Eddie)
Devan: Smoooooth. Are you gonna be done some time today?
(Eddie stops searching in the tumbler and pulls his hand out with nothing in it)
Eddie: You know what? I think I’d feel more comfortable…
(Eddie turns the tumbler towards the Beautiful Young Women)
Eddie: If you handled the balls for me.
(Several awkward seconds pass before Beautiful Young Woman _#1 cautiously steps forward and quickly retrieves a ball from the tumbler; handing it over to Eddie)
Eddie: Was it as good for you as it was for me? I kid, I kid…
(Eddie slowly opens the ball and looks at his number on the paper inside as his confident grin slowly turns to a look of despair)
Eddie: This… This can’t be right…
Devan: Who cares, just get out of the way. You’re taking up more time than the Goddamn match itself would…
Eddie: No, no, no! I demand I get a re-do!
Devan: A re-do?
Eddie: I didn’t take the ball out myself! I should get a re-do!
Terry Chambers: DEAL WITH IT!
Eddie: Gaahhh! Fine! I’m winning anyway! But just know who you’re messing with, girls! Demon’s Council will make sure those are the LAST balls you EVER touch!… Maybe!
(Eddie storms out as Devan steps up to grab his number while the camera pans to the right to reveal Kendra Shamez watching over the proceedings; shaking her head)
Kendra: That might have been the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. Does this happen EVERY year?
(A crew member next to Kendra slowly nods his head in embarrassment before looking up in surprise)
Crew Member: Miss Shamez… You, uh….
Kendra: What? What is it?
(Kendra turns around to find herself staring down with a still sweaty DEDEDE; clutching the Grand Rampage-qualifying contract in his hand)
DDD: You see this?
(DDD holds up the contract to her face as he smirks)
DDD: This is just one piece of why you should have never slithered your way back into this company and gotten into my business. Your boyfriend, Prince of Phenomenal, is well on his way to the nearest hospital by now and I don’t see him coming back anytime soon. I did exactly what I said I’d do and beat him within an inch of his life! Remember what else I said I’d do? I’m gonna beat the asses of twenty-nine other competitors and WIN the Grand Rampage for the first time in my career! So please, keep that look on your face for me, would you? I want to savor every bit of it when I send you packing with POP, but I’ll know you’ll be somewhere always watching; always hoping for the worst and screaming at the TV for me to fail like the bitch you are, but this is one wish you’re not getting granted, Princess.
(Kendra slowly claps)
Kendra: Congratulations, DEDEDE. I suppose you were right; you did completely decimate the Prince of Phenomenal. To be honest, he had been long since passed his expiration date and I’m glad you weeded him out for the worthless tool he turned out to be. You, DEDEDE, have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt tonight that YOU are number one. Number one in the hearts of the fans, number one in the ring, and Hell, even the number one Legend in this industry, but more than anything, DEDEDE…
(Kendra points to the contract in DEDEDE’s hand)
Kendra: In case you didn’t get a chance to read that over, you are just as well number one… In the Grand Rampage match tonight. I’m guessing you were here to get your number, right? Looks like there will be no need for that anymore. These two men will escort you back to your locker room.
(Two large security guards step into camera view as DEDEDE throws the contract in Kendra’s face and proceeds to walk past Nick Angel, next in line to get his number)
Nick: Hahahaha, not as smart as you thought you were, huh? Don’t worry, not like you’ll be going very far as long as The House of Renegades are in the same match.
(Nick leans in for his number, only to have his head shoved into the tumbler and driven into the wall by DEDEDE)
DDD: See you then.
(DDD takes his leave as a dazed Nick struggles to pull the tumbler off his head)
Nick: Somebody… Somebody get this thing off my head!!
(Devan steps into few with a smile on his face as he looks at his number)
Devan: Don’t worry, Nick, you’ll be fine. You’ve taken plenty of balls to the face before.
(Devan laughs to himself as he walks off)
( Highlights begin to play on the screen of Pain for Pride 2 with Extreme Enigma winning the Cash in the Vault ladder match )
( ‘’Crash’’ by Decyfer Down plays through the building as Zack Crash walks out to the ring )
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall …first, making his way to the ring, from Charleston, West Virginia, he is ……’’THE REBEL’’ …..ZACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK CRASHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Zack Crash has been SOME streak since coming over to Dynasty, undefeated since coming to Dynasty, that is despite his struggles with Demons Council lately.
( ‘’Invisible’’ by Downstait plays through the building as Xavier Williams makes his way to the ring )
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, representing the Demons Council, he is from Detriot, Michigan ….XAVIIIIIIIIIIERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WILLLIIIAMSSSS!!!!
HBG: Williams wanted this chance, this chance to PROVE to Dark Demon that he could take out Zack Crash, lets see if he can.
( Ding! Ding! Ding! )
HBG: Both men start with a hand shake before locking up, WILLIAMS gets the better of Crash with a wristlock. But Crash kicks WILLIAMS in the mid-section breaking the lock and applies a side headlock to the head of WILLIAMS who backs Crash into the turnbuckle, Crash breaks the hold but forearms WILLIAMS in the face and whips WILLIAMS into the opposite corner but WILLIAMS spider runs up the turnbuckle as Crash charges at him and WILLIAMS CONNECTS WITH A CROSSBODY ON CRASH!!
Stew-O: WILLIAMS back to his feet as Crash swiftly to his feet and WILLIAMS with a clothesline but Crash ducks and CONNECTS WITH A PELE KICK ON WILLIAMS!! WILLIAMS falls into the ropes as Crash wasting no time with a running dropkick into WILLIAMS knocking him out to the floor. WILLIAMS quickly to his feet but Crash up onto the top rope and HITS A SPRINGBOARD CORKSCREW MOONSAULT ONTO WILLIAMS!! BOTH MEN ON THE FLOOR!! Crash up onto his feet and climbs up onto the railing going for a moonsault off the railing but WILLIAMS back to his feet dropkicks Crash into the crowd! Crash quick to his feet but WILLIAMS climbs up onto the railing and hits a CROSSBODY INTO THE CROWD!! WILLIAMS takes Crash down onto the floor and WILLIAMS back up to his feet and picks up a steel chair
HBG: Crash is getting to his feet as WILLIAMS SMASHES THAT CHAIR INTO THE HEAD OF CRASH!! Crash staggers back into the railing as WILLIAMS again SMASHES that chair into Crashs head and Crash falls back over the railing and onto the floor, WILLIAMS hops over the railing and places the chair on Crashs chest before climbing up onto the apron and HITS A DIVING ELBOW DROP INTO THAT CHAIR!! WILLIAMS back up rolls Crash into the ring and makes the cover on Crash!!!
ONE!!!!!…….TWO!!!!!!……..KICK OUT!!!
Stew-O: WILLIAMS smirks and lifts Crash up but Crash with a STEP-UP ENZURGI INTO THE HEAD OF WILLIAMS!! WILLIAMS staggers back as Crash CONNECTS WITH A SUPERKICK ON WILLIAMS!! WILLIAMS on the mat as Crash grabs WILLIAMS by the legs and catapults WILLIAMS face first into the turnbuckle as WILLIAMS staggers back and Crash swings him around for the TWIST OF FATE!! BUT WILLIAMS SLIPS OUT…SUPERKICK BY WILLIAMS!! BUT CRASH DUCKS AND GETS WILLIAMS WITH A HURRICARNA!! WILLIAMS hits the mat as Crash back up, WILLIAMS is getting to his feet as Crash charges at him with a flying forearm smash! That’s WILLIAMS’s move! Crash quick to his feet and climbs up the turnbuckle, Crash going for the DIVING ELBOW DROP ON WILLIAMS!!
HBG: But WILLIAMS to his feet sweeps under Crashs feet knocking him groin first onto the turnbuckle! WILLIAMS climbs up onto the turnbuckle and goes for a SUPERPLEX!! But Crash comes back down and headbutts WILLIAMS in the face, multiple headbutts by Crash into the face of WILLIAMS as WILLIAMS falls back down onto the mat and Crash stands back up on the top of the turnbuckle, 450 SPLASH BY CRASH!! IT CONNECTS!! CRASH HOOKS BOTH LEGS FOR THE COVER!!
ONE!!!…….TWO!!!…………KICK OUT!!!
Stew-O: Crash slides back out off the ring and picks up that steel chair and throws it back into the ring, Crash slides back in to the ring and picks up that steel chair as WILLIAMS is getting up to his feet and CRASH SWINGS THAT STEEL CHAIR INTO THE SPINE OF WILLIAMS!! WILLIAMS falls back into the ropes as Crash drops the chair and drags WILLIAMS next to the chair…SNAP DDT BY CRASH ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!! BUT WILLIAMS SLIPS OUT AND HITS THE TEARDROP SUPLEX ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!! CRASH BACK FIRST INTO THE CHAIR!!
HBG: WILLIAMS lifts Crash up going for another teardrop suplex but Crash this time with elbows knocking WILLIAMS back as Crash HITS A PELE KICK!! WILLIAMS falls onto both knees as Crash to his feet and picks up the chair, SWINGING IT INTO THE HEAD OF WILLIAMS!! WILLIAMS falls to the mat as Crash now with a STANDING MOONSAULT ON WILLIAMS!! COVER AGAIN BY CRASH!!!
ONE!!!…….TWO!!!!……KICK OUT!!!
Stew-O: Crash looking annoyed climbs up onto the top turnbuckle going for the AIR BOURNE!! BUT WILLIAMS MOVES OUT OFF THE WAY AS CRASH CRASHES INTO THE MAT!! WILLIAMS quickly climbs up onto the turnbuckle AND WILLIAMS HITS THE HEART BREAK ELBOW INTO THE CHEST OF CRASH!! WILLIAMS NAILS THE DIVING ELBOW INTO CRASH!!
HBG: WILLIAMS back to his feet waits for Crash to slowly get to his feet and Crash is up to his feet as WILLIAMS NAILS THE MOMENT OF SILENCE THE FACE OF CRASH!! BUT CRASH STAYS ON HIS FEET!! WILLIAMS IS STUNNED AS CRASH WON’T GO DOWN AND CRASH NAILS WILLIAMS WITH A SUPERKICK OF HIS OWN!! WILLIAMS WITH ANOTHER SUPERKICK AND CRASH WITH ONE OF HIS!! SUPERKICK WAR BY BOTH MEN BUT WILLIAMS WITH ANOTHER SUPERKICK!! CRASH ON GROGGY FEET AS WILLIAMS NAILS ANOTHER ONE AND CRASH FINALLY FALLS TO THE MAT AND WILLIAMS MAKES THE COVER!!!
ONE!!!!! …….TWO!!!!!!!!!! …….THREEE!!!!
( Ding! Ding! Ding! )
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner ….XAVIIIERRRRRR WILLLLLIIIIAMSSSS!!!!
Stew-O: Zack Crash has lost for the first time in 2014 and the man to defeat him is none other than Xavier Williams! What a victory for this young man!
HBG; I’m shocked! I’m legit like shocked, That’s gonna have to deal a MASSIVE blow to Crash but he’s gotta pick himself up fast tonight for the Grand Rampage.
( Xavier Williams celebrates up the ramp as the camera pans back to the interview room with Max A Million )
Max A Million: Ladies and Gentlemen, joined with me at this time, is a man who up next will be challenging for the Answers World Championship …Diamond Cage!
( A focused and intent looking Diamond Cage steps into the scene )
Max: Cage, tonight you step into the ring with Dark Demon, any final thoughts before possibly the biggest match of your career?
Cage: I’m going to win.
Cage: That’s all my thoughts are, nothing more or less. I already showed before on Dynasty that Dark Demon cannot handle me, that Dark Demon cannot defeat me, that Dark Demon is not good enough against me. I DESTROYED him on Dynasty, I put him through announcers table, hit him with a pipe, bashed his face in with a monitor, floored him in the ring, I’m going to do EXACTLY that tonight.
Cage: I told Dark Demon that I would take it all away from him and I meant it, I meant EVERY SINGLE WORD OF IT, he thinks this is some game but its not, it’s MY DESTINY and I’m sick, I’m sick of having to wait for my shot, for my chance, I’m sick of FAGGOTS like DDD holding me back, IDIOTS like Dark Demon laughing at me, ‘’oh he’s just a drooler, he can’t be champion’’, I’M SICK OF IT. I’M SICK OF ALWAYS COMING UP SHORT, OF FALLING DOWN AT THE FINAL HURDLE, I’M SICK OF ‘’ALMOST WINNING GR, ALMOST WINNING KOE’’, SICK, SICK, SICK ,SICK OF IT! I’M WINNING TONIGHT, WHATEVER IT TAKES, WHATEVER IT COSTS. NOBODY AND I MEAN, NOBODY IS GOING TO WIN THIS MATCH TONIGHT, OKAY??? OKAY??
( Cage brushes past Max and bumps into Zack Crash )
Zack Crash: Good luck tonight, Cage.
Diamond Cage: I don’t need yours or anybody else’s luck.
Zack Crash: Good because here is the thing, me and Demon have been at this for a long time, he won’t face me for his stupid reasons and the only way I’m gonna face him is if I win the Grand Rampage …but that’d mean he’d also have to be world champion so I can face him.
Diamond Cage: What are you trying to say??
Zack Crash: What I’m saying is …You aren’t winning tonight, even if I have to make you lose myself. That’s what I’m saying.
( Crash bumps past Cage as the camera pans back to ringside )
( Highlights of Extreme Enigma vs Captain Charisma play on Dynasty, with EE winning his first world title and highlights his world title reign )
( A small video package begins to play on the screen, highlighting Diamond Cages impressive run from making DEDEDE tap out at Dynasty vs Showdown, to defeating Nick Angel, Venom and Cy Henderson in the KOE tournament to get to the finals, making Jaywalker tap out and injurying Scott Diamond …the recent brawls between Dark Demon and Diamond Cage begin to play, with Demons Council completely destroying Diamond Cage and the following week of Diamond Cage utterly destroying Dark Demon )
( Answers World Championship graphic appears on the screen )
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the EXTREME ANSWERZ WRESTLING ANSWERS CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WOOOOOOOOORLDDDDD!!!!!
( ‘’Smells Like Teen Spirit’’ plays through the sound system as Diamond Cage steps onto the stage, with a skull mask around his mouth and walks down the ramp …as he gets half-way down, flames begin to shoot out of the side of the ramp as black pyro shoots up from the stage )
Ring Announcer: First, the challenger, he is hailing from Canada and weighing tonight at 230 pounds …..DIAMONDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAGEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
HBG: Holy crap …
Stew-O: Diamond Cage has been one HELL of a run lately, defeating DEDEDE AND Jaywalker by submission, injurying Scott Diamond, making the King of Extreme finals, can we add ‘’Answers World Champion’’ to that incredible run tonight?
( ‘’Man Who Sold The World’’ by Nirvana plays through the building as Dark Demon steps out onto the stage with the Answers World Championship around his waist )
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, from Who the fuck cares, weighing in at 225 pounds, he is the EXTREME ANSWERS WRESTLING ANSWERS WORRRRRRRRLD CHAMPION ….DARRRRRRRRRRK DEMOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
HBG: Please, PLEASE, let this guy lose tonight, another day of this guy being world champion might actually make me want to kill myself.
( Ding! Ding! Ding! )
Dark Demon: Just give it up before I have to put you down. GIVE UP.
Diamond Cage: We’ll see about that, won’t we?
Stew-O: AND DEMON THROWS A WILD SHOOT AT DIAMOND CAGE BUT CAGE DUCKS UNDER IT AND TACKLES DEMON INTO THE CORNER …AND BEGINS SENDING WILD, UNCONTROLLED SWIFT SHOTS INTO THE MID-SECTION OF DARK DEMON!!! INTO THE FACE OF DARK DEMON!! CAGE WITH FISTS, KNEES, FOREARMS, ELBOWS, ANYTHING HE CAN THROW INTO THE ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION! AND CAGE GRABS DEMON BY THE ARM AND WHIPS HIM INTO THE OPPOSING CORNER AND CAGE CHARGES FULL SPEED AT DEMON —- BUT DEMON STEPS OUT OF THE CORNER AND GETS CAGE WITH A DROP TOE HOLD!!! THE FACE OF CAGE IS DRIVEN RIGHT INTO THE TURNBUCKLE PAD!!! Cage is clutching his face in the corner as Demon begins STOMPING right into the face of Diamond Cage, several stomps into the face of the challenger …Demon lifts Cage up and looks for a suplex out of the corner but Cage blocks it, sending several fists into the mid-section of Dark Demon AND CAGE SMASHES HIS FOREARM INTO THE FACE OF DARK DEMON!!!
HBG: Demon stumbles backwards, clutching his face in pain as Cage charges with a LOU THESZ PRESS!!! CAGE TACKLES DEMON TO THE MAT AND HAMMERS HIM WITH FISTS, SEVERAL HARD FISTS AGAIN BY DIAMOND CAGE ONTO DARK DEMON!! Demon is blocking him, protecting his face but Cage lifts himself up and is obviously going to focus on the head of Demon, that head were Cage smashed a monitor into, that head were Cage brainbusted Demon through our table, that head were Cage smashed him with a lead pipe, that is Dark Demons weakness tonight … and Cage is going for it as HE SENDS SEVERAL STOMPS INTO THE HEAD OF DARK DEMON!!! DEMON IS DEFENCELESS, ALL HE CAN DO IS COVER HIMSELF UP HERE BUT ITS NOT HELPING, RUTHLESS, VICIOUS STOMPS BY DIAMOND CAGE INTO THAT INJURED HEAD!!! Cage finally stops, lifting Demon up to his feet and PULLS HIM IN FOR A DDT!!! DEMON PLANTED INTO THE MAT, PLANTED INTO THE MAT RIGHT DOWN ON HIS HEAD AGAIN! Dark Demon now rolling out of the ring as he is down in a heap on the floor as Cage is pumping himself up, he’s a freaking machine ..
Stew-O: Dark Demon is slowly lifting himself up to his feet as Diamond Cage runs off the ropes and CHARGES FULL SPEED AHEAD TOWARDS DARK DEMON LEAPING THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPE ……SUICIDE DIVE!!!!!! SUICIDE DIVE THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPE INTO DARK DEMON!!! NO!!! DEMON LEAPS ONTO THE APRON AND SMASHES HIS ELBOW RIGHT INTO THE HEAD OF DIAMOND CAGE WHO JUST HAD HIS HEAD THROUGH THE ROPE!! Shades of the old Dark Demon there with the elbow shot, Demon is sitting on the apron in agony as Diamond Cage’s body is slumped inbetween the ropes, Dark Demon finally manages to lift himself to his feet as he grabs Cage by the head and OH NO!!! OH NO!!! DEMON EXECUTES A DDT ON CAGE, SENDING HIS THROAT DIRECTLY INTO THE MIDDLE ROPE!!! Remember, Tarah Nova did choke Cage out with that lead pipe camel clutch, and almost destroyed Cages windpipe, that’s clearly Demons focus here … as Cage is down in the ring clutching his throat in pain, as Dark Demon, still holding his head in pain makes his way from the apron to the turnbuckle, Dark Demon is heading to the top rope …this is rare even for him!
HBG: Demon is perched on the turnbuckle and DEMON LEAPS OFF THE TURNBUCKLE WITH A DIVING ELBOW DROP INTO THE THROAT OF DIAMOND CAGE!!! DARK DEMON DRIVES HIS ELBOW INTO THE THROAT OF CAGE, AND CAGE IS ROLLING AROUND HERE IN GREAT AGONY, CLUTCHING HIS THROAT!! Cage is in a lot of pain but Demon couldn’t care less as Demon hooks a leg of Cage!
ONE!!!!!!!!!! …….TWO!!!!!!! …….CAGE WITH THE SHOULDER UP!
Stew-O: Cage won’t go down that easily as Demon lifts himself to his feet as Cage is still down and Demon DROPS HIS KNEE INTO THE THROAT OF DIAMOND CAGE!! AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN!! SEVEAL TIMES DARK DEMON JUST DROPPED HIS KNEE INTO THE DAMAGED THROAT OF DIAMOND CAGE! DEMON NOW GOES BACK TO THE CORNER, CLIMBING UP THE TOP TURNBUCKLE AND STANDING, STANDING THERE AS OH GOOD GOD NO!! DARK DEMON LOOKS FOR THE DIVING DOUBLE FOOT STOMP INTO THE THROAT OF DIAMOND CAGE!!! BUT DIAMOND CAGE OUT OF SHEER DESPERATION KICKS THE REFEREE, KNOCKING HIM INTO DEMON WHO FALLS OFF THE TURNBUCKLE AND IS SENT CRASHING INTO THE BARRICADE HEAD FIRST!! DARK DEMON IS LAID OUT ON THE FLOOR, HE’S COMPLETELY LAID OUT AND CAGE IS DOWN ASWELL!! Cage is starting to shake off the cobwebs, still clutching his throat in GREAT pain as he rolls out of the ring and grabs Demon, who’s still down and CAGE LAUNCHES DARK DEMON SKULL FIRST INTO THE STEEL STEPS!!! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, DEMON MIGHT BE OUT OF IT, THOSE STEPS CAME OFF WITH IMPACT AND DEMON MAY HAVE A CONCUSION!!! BUT CAGE, FIGHTING THROUGH WHATEVER PAIN HE HAS IN HIS THROAT, GRABS DEMON UP AND THIS LAUNCHES HIM WITH FORCE INTO THE OPPOSING STEEL RINGPOST!!!!! DEMON JUST GOT WHIPPED FACE FIRST INTO THE STEEL RINGPOST!!!! HOLY …
HBG: Demon is DOWN, Demon is OUT, Demon is BUSTED WIDE OPEN and Cage is enjoying every second of it, Cage looks down underneath the ring and pulls out a black steel chair, throwing it into the ring, Cage grabs Demon and smirks, toying with the champion as HE PULLS HIM IN!!! STO ONTO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!!! NO!!!! ELBOWS FROM DARK DEMON, ELBOWS INTO THE SIDE OF CAGES HEAD!!! CAGE STUMBLES BACKWARDS AS DEMON CHARGES AT HIM BUT CAGE WITH A HIP TOSS!!! CAGE HIP TOSSES DEMON INTO THE BARRICADE, DEMON CRASHES INTO THE BARRICADE SPINE FIRST AND LANDS ON HIS HEAD ON THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!! Cage is INTENT on knocking Dark Demon out and he may have done it, the champion is COMPLETELY motionless on the floor as Cage lifts Demon up and rolls his lifeless body into the ring, Cage gets back into the ring and covers! New Champion!
ONE!!! ……..TWO!!!!!!!!!!!! ………….NO!!! DEMON KICKS OUT!!!
Stew-O: Cage grabs that black steel chair and BEGINS TO WALLOP DARK DEMON WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!!! CAGE TAGETING ANY OPEN AREA OF DARK DEMON, HIS LEGS, TORSO, ARMS, HEAD, CHEST, ANYWHERE!!! THIS IS BRUTAL, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL BY DIAMOND CAGE!!!
Diamond Cage: WHERE’S THE TRASH TALK NOW DEMON??? FUCK YOU!
HBG: Cage drops the chair, Dark Demon is lifeless as it gets as Cage opens up the steel chair and lifts the champion up ….CAGE LOOKING TO END THIS RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW …WITH THE DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER THROUGH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!! BRIANBUSTER THROUGH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!! BUT NO!!!! DEMON PUNCHES CAGE IN THE THROAT, DARK DEMON JUST PUNCHED CAGE IN HIS INJURED THROAT!!! CAGE CLUTCHES HIS THROAT IN PAIN AS DEMON KICKS HIM IN THE MID-SECTION AND CONNECTS WITH THE DEATH!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!!!!! WELCOME!!!!!!! DEATH IS WELCOME, ROLLING CU—–NO!!!! CAGE SLIPS OUT OF IT, GRABBING DEMON INTO A WAIST LOCK AND IN ONE VERY SWIFT MOTION CONNECTS WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX THAT SENDS DEMON THROUGH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!! DIAMOND CAGE GERMAN SUPLEXS DARK DEMON THROUGH THE STEEL CHAIR, HE’S SURELY GOT HIM, HE’S SURELY GOT HIM, COVER BY DIAMOND CAGE NOW!!!
ONE!!!!! ….TWOOOOO!!!!!! …..
Stew-O: NO!! DEMON HAS A FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!! DEMON IS STILL IN THIS AS CAGE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS BUT CAGE QUICKLY FLIPS DEMON OVER – LOCKING IN A CRIPPLER CROSSFACE!!!! CROSSFACE APPLIED TO DARK DEMON!!! THIS IS HOW HE MADE DEDEDE TAP OUT, CAGE REARS BACK ON THE HOLD!!! CAGE REARING BACK ON THE CROSSFACE!!! BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!! BAH GAWD, DARK DEMON IS REACHING FOR THE ROPES BUT CAGE DRAGS HIM BACK, BACK FROM THE ROPES!!! DEMON IS GONNA HAVE HIS HEAD RIPPED OFF AS CAGE KEEPS TIGHTENING IN THE HOLD, DEMON ISN’T EVEN CRAWLING ANYMORE, HE’S MOTIONLESS, I THINK HE MAY HAVE PASSED OUT, I THINK DIAMOND CAGE MAY HAVE MADE DEMON PASS OUT HERE!!!! THE REFEREE IS CHECKING ON DEMON!!!!
HBG: WHAT THE?!?!?!!
Stew-O: ZACK CRASH!!!! ZACK CRASH JUST JUMPED DIAMOND CAGE AND BROKE THE HOLD!!! CRASH SAID HE’D DO WHAT HE HAD TO DO IN ORDER TO FORCE HIM VS DEMON AT PAIN FOR PRIDE, BUT I DIDN’T THINK HE’D GO THIS FAR …CAGE IS GETTING TO HIS FEET BUT CRASH WITH THE KICK TO THE MID-SECTION — CRASH TEST!!! CRASH TEST!!!! THE KILLSWITCH!!!!! DIAMOND CAGE IS DRIVEN INTO THE MAT, DIAMOND CAGE IS DRIVEN RIGHT INTO THE MAT AND HE’S OUT!!! CRASH DRAGS DEMON ONTOP OF CAGE, CRASH LOOKS DISGUSTED WITH HIMSELF AS HE ROLLS OUT OF THE RING, BUT HE NEEDED TO DO THIS!!!
ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! …….**HBG Voiceover: KICK OUT CAGE, PLEASE KICK OUT, C’MON!!** ….TWOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! …….**Stew-O Voiceover: NOT THIS WAY, C’MON!!!** ……
HBG: HE KICKS OUT!!!!! DIAMOND CAGE KICKS OUT!!!!! WHAT!?!?!?! WHAT!?!?!?!?! DIAMOND CAGE KICKED OUT OF THE CRASH TEST AND DEMON JUST SLUMPS OFF CAGE, CAGE IS DOWN AND OUT AS CRASH IS SHOCKED, CRASH IS STANDING ON THE RAMP ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED AT WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE, HE DOESN’T BELIEVE IT, I DON’T THINK ANYBODY DOES ….Demon rolls off Cage, regrouping and regaining his senses, I’m not even sure if he realized Crash tried to help him there, Demon rolls out of the ring, slumping about the place and staggering, He’s a bloody and beaten mess here …
** Dark Demon drops to his knees, looking underneath the ring for something**
Dark Demon **singing*: And I say to mysellfffffff …
**Demon pulls an object out of the weapon, lifting himself back up, smiling and licking his bloody lips as the camera revels him holding a railroad spike*
Dark Demon: What a …Won…der…ful …World…
Stew-O: NO! NO! Demon has a railroad spike in his hand, that spike won him the world title and Demon gets back into the ring, slumping him by the corner, waiting patiently for Cage to get to his feet ….Cage is slowly lifting himself up to his feet, don’t turn around Cage, don’t turn around! …He turns AS DEMON CHARGES AND STABS CAGE WITH THE RAILROAD SPIKE RIGHT IN THE FOREHEAD!!!!!!!!!
HBG: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAGE DUCKS UNDERNEATH IT!!!!! DEMON SPINS AROUND, KICK TO THE MID-SECTION BY DIAMOND CAGE AND PULLS DEMON IN!!!! DIAMONDS!!!! ARE!!!! FOREVER!!!!! BRIANBUSTER CONNECTS!!!! DIAMOND CAGE CONNECTS WITH THE BRAINBUSTER ON DARK DEMON!!!! OH MY GOD, YES!!! HE GOT IT!!! CAGE GOT HIM!!! DARK DEMON IS LAID OUT ON THE MAT, HE’S MOTIONLESS, CAGE CRAWLS OVER AND DRAPES AN ARM OVER DEMON!!!!!
ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ……………TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……..
Stew-O: CLEOPATRA BREAKS IT UP!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK??? WHERE DID SHE COME FROM??? CLEO STOMPING INTO CAGE, STOMPING RIGHT INTO HIM HERE, GODDAMNIT, GODDAMN CLEOPARTA TO HELL!! GODDAMN THIS B——
( ‘’Born in the USA’’ by Bruce Springsteen plays as Starr-Stan rushes out )
HBG: STARR-STAN!!!! STARR IS CHARGING OUT HERE, HE’S NOT GONNA LET DEMON STEAL THE WIN LIKE HE DID TO STARR AT RECKLESS WIRING, STARR GETS INTO THE RING AS CLEO CHARGES AT HIM BUT STARR GRABS HER!!!! STARR GRABS CLEO — OVERHEAD BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX CONNECTING ON CLEOPATRA!!!! CLEO ROLLS OUT OF THE RING!!! …Dark Demon is lifting himself to his feet slowly as Starr grabs the railroad spike and CHARGES AT DEMON!!!! STARR STABS DEMON RIGHT IN THE FOREHEAD WITH THE RAILROAD SPIKE!!!! NO!!!! DEMON DUCKS UNDERNEATH IT, STARR JUST STABBED DIAMOND CAGE WITH THE RAILROAD SPIKE!!!!! OH MY GOD, STARR JUST ACCIDENTLY STABBED CAGE WITH THE RAILROAD SPIKE!!! STARR DIDN’T MEAN THAT BUT DEMON LOW-BLOWS STARR!!!!! LOW-BLOW TO STARR AND ROLLS STARR OUT OF THE RING AS DEMON COVERS CAGE!!!!!
ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ……….TWO!!!!!!!!! …………THREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
( Ding! Ding! Ding! )
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner …..AND STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL EXTREME ANSWERZ WRESTLING ANSWERS WORLDDDDDDDDDDDD CHAMPION …..DARRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKK DEMOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: GODDAMNIT NO!!! Dark Demon ONCE AGAIN steals the victory and this time, he retains his Answers World Championship, goddamnit, it took Zack Crash, Cleopatra, Dark Demon and Starr-Stan accidently stabbing Cage with a railroad spike in order to put away Cage, say what you will but he put up one hell of a fight.
HBG: I’m gonna have to kill myself.
**Dark Demon rolls out of the ring and staggers up the ramp, as Cleopatra grabs the Answers World Championship and throws it onto her shoulder**
Stew-O: Well Dark Demon retains, through whatever means he had to do it through, although had Cleopatra not broken the crossface, we’d surely be witnessing a new champion tonight …
**Cleopatra and Dark Demon stop at the stage, Cleo smirks at a nearby camera, grabbing it**
Cleopatra: Nice stunt tonight Crash, sadly though …your plan isn’t gonna work, don’t be surprised if things don’t work out the way you plan tonight because you see this?? **lifts up Answers World Championship** you will NEVER touch this or hold this and you see him?? **Points at Demon** You ain’t gonna ever face him either. Give up.
( Cleopatra shoves the camera back and laughs )
(Camera cuts backstage to a depressed Tomi Venus; dressed in a tuxedo and a microphone in hand)
Tomi: Hey guys… Welcome one and all to the Grand Rampage, or whatever… I remember last year’s Grand Rampage… My first Championship match…
(Tomi gives a long sigh before he continues)
Tomi: Anyway, I guess I have here with me the–
???: For the love of God…
(Albert Hitchman steps into the scene)
Albert: Please, Tomi, do us all a favor and just… Just go away. I mean, yeah, it’s great that you’re doing what you’re doing in playing the depressed little underachiever, but anti-depressant pills have SKYROCKETED in sales ever since you came along, you know that? You, sir, are a walking tumor; bringing down every single person that remembers your existence in this company. I mean, come on, just look at you… That tuxedo doesn’t even fit you… You sound like you want to kill yourself every time you show up on television and I’m sure the feeling is mutual for our audience watching at home. In fact, they might actually prefer wanting to just kill YOU instead whenever they’re forced to see your pathetic mug across their television screens. Do understand what I’m saying here? Nobody remembers who you are. Nobody CARES who you are. You’re an afterthought to this company. Give me this–
(Albert rips the microphone from Tomi’s hand)
Albert: You’re not fit to hold a microphone. Do us all a favor and get out of here.
(Tomi slowly walks away as Hitchman adjusts his suit and continues to speak)
Albert: Now that we’ve taken care of ONE afterthought, I believe it’s time tonight that we take care of an even more pretentious, annoying little afterthought to this company. You know who’s just the man to take care of that task? None other than MY client, YOUR Mikado, YOUR Undisputed King of Extreme, YOUR World Heavyweight Champion, and the Vampire of EAW: MIKADO SEKAIICHI!
(The camera pans to the right to reveal Sekaiichi nonchalantly twirling around his World Heavyweight Championship Crown on his left index finger)
Albert: Now I don’t want to take up too much of your time, Mikado, but would you care to share some words on your challenger tonight, Cy Henderson?
(Sekaiichi looks up at Hitchman to answer the question)
Mikado: Much like the rest of those that have long-since fallen before Cy came along, I do not understand why it is they bother trying to fight what is a fact. I am and will always be the ruler of their World, and why? Because it isn’t their World. It’s my World. It’s my reality. For far too long, I’ve allowed these ungrateful parasites to take refuge in a World I built for them with my own two hands. Tonight, I silence yet another ant screaming for attention. I exterminate yet another roach that attempts to feed off of the remains of my food and multiply in my home. There’s already so much I’ve said to Cy that none of it feels necessary anymore. I will win tonight; I will make him wish he had just dropped to his knees and worshipped me, and that is all there is to it.
Albert: I would expect nothing less from our World’s Champion. I have but one more question to ask of you: DEDEDE has managed to, well, obliterate the Prince of Phenomenal and has now qualified for the 2014 Grand Rampage match. Might I ask what your thoughts are on that?
Mikado: Did he now? Congratulations are in order to him, I suppose. Nonetheless, breaking an already broken old man long past his peak is nothing to celebrate about. Not when standing before DEDEDE happens to be twenty-nine others who wish to see his head on a pike. DEDEDE has achieved nothing as of yet tonight as far as I’m concerned. I challenged him nearly one year ago in hopes to face one another as Gods, but all that I’ve seen from this man I once believed to be a deity is nothing but selfishness that’s led him to a fall from grace unlike any other. DEDEDE is one tragedy away from simply groveling at my feet and begging for a World Championship opportunity once I’ve finished off Cy Henderson. One tragedy. That’s all it takes. Tonight is the night for DEDED to prove his worth in my eyes. I already know the result of my match, but as for him… Needless to say, should he fail me tonight, he’s not worthy of facing Mikado Sekaiichi. There will be no Pain For Pride clash.
(Mikado takes his leave as Albert chuckles)
Albert: Veni… Vidi… Vici.
(Hitchman drops the microphone and follows Sekaiichi)
( Extreme Enigma’s induction into the Hall of Fame is shown )
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Masters: Up next is a match that one could say has been years in the making; these two men that represent a clash of generations. Two men that have felt the success of the Grand Rampage match. Two men that have tasted gold at Pain For Pride. You could even call them two of a kind, but only one will prove their beliefs are superior. Only one can walk out victorious.
(Video package plays; highlighting Cy Henderson and Mikado Sekaiichi’s rivalry over the World Heavyweight Championship)
(Camera cuts back to the stage)
(“Beware” by Death Grips played all throughout the arena as Cy Henderson slowly makes his way out to the stage; dressed in a “Fabled” t-shirt, black jorts, black sneakers, and a baseball cap that just covers his eyes)
Masters: This man has had quite a journey that’s brought him here. Is he looking for closure? Is he looking to take back his “Kingdom” I don’t know if we’ll ever know for sure, but one thing is certain: He wants Sekaiichi’s blood and he wants the World Heavyweight Championship. He’s made it clear he believes he’s got Sekaiichi’s number and he might just solidify that here tonight.
(Albert Hitchman makes his way out to the stage with a grin on his face; pointing to the sky as“Power” by Kanye West plays all throughout the arena while the lights in the arena turn golden)
Mak: Oh yes! He’s here!
(Mikado Sekaiichi – sporting a golden cloak that covers everything below his neck that has “Veni Vidi Vici” written all over it and his World Championship crown on his head – slowly rises atop the Grand Rampage titantron; coming to a halt as “Power” stops)
“ALL HAIL THE KING!”
(“Hail to the King” by Avenged Sevenfold plays all throughout the arena as stairs begin to descend from the edge of the titantron, all the way down to the ring apron)
Mak: Now this is how you make the entrance! This King never ceases to amaze me!
(Mikado Sekaiichi begins to descend down the stairs; each one lighting up golden as he steps on them until he makes his way down to the ring as he slowly enters and stands in his corner, adjacent from Cy Henderson while “Hail to the King” fades out)
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall…. AND IS FOR THE E-A-W WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!…. First, in the corner to my left, the challenger…. From Manhattan, New York!…. He weighed in tonight at 251 pounds…. HE IS “THE RISING TIDE”…. CY HEEEEEENNNNNNDDDDDEERRRRSSSSOOOONNNN!!!….
(Cy takes off his cap and throws it to the outside to reveal his steel blue, focused eyes)
Announcer: And to my right, accompanied by Albert Hitchman…. From Las Vegas, Nevada!…. He weighed in tonight at 237 pounds…. HE IS THE REIGNING AND DEFENDING E-A-W HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD…. MIKADO SEEEEEEKKKKKKKKAAAAIIIICCCCHHHHHHIIIIIII!!!….
(Sekaiichi rips off his cloak and throws it to the ground to reveal his golden singlet and barbed-wire wrapped around his left kick-pad as he gives a sinister smile to Cy)
Mak: Woah, look at this! Sekaiichi’s come prepared! I’m amped! Let’s do this!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Masters: This World Heavyweight Championship contest is officially underway and I THOUGHT Cy would waste absolutely no time going on the attack, but it seems his strategy has changed now that Sekaiichi’s brought back that sadistic barbed-wire kick-pad of his! Just look at the smirk across the face of Sekaiichi! He looks like he’s already won this! Cy has not faltered though; he’s as determined as ever… Sekaiichi now seems to be the one on the offensive here as he eagerly makes his way towards a cautious Cy Henderson.. Cy carefully keeping an eye on that barbed-wire kick-pad… SEKAIICHI SWINGS AT CY WITH THAT KICK-PAD! It’s no good as Cy dodges out of the way.. Sekaiichi’s grin and confidence only grow after seeing Cy’s reaction..
Mikado: This is what you deserve, Cy. All you had to do was listen to me. All you had to do was bow before your Mikado, Cy..
Mak: Mikado telling it precisely like it is before he goes back on the attack… SEKAIICHI WITH A HIGH KICK TO THE SKULL! Cy once again manages to JUST avoid that barbed-wire! Just ONE slip up and this match could be finished right then and there! Sekaiichi looks like a child on Christmas Day as he stalks his opponent with that weapon of his! Uh oh! Cy may have just found himself in check! He’s cornered! He’s ran out of room to escape Sekaiichi’s onslaught! SEKAIICHI SWINGS! CY DUCKS AND IMMEDIATELY CATCHES SEKAIICHI WITH A SINGLE-LEG TAKEDOWN!! SEKAIICHI WILDLY SWINGING WITH THAT BARBED-WIRE-COVERED LEG AS CY DOES HIS DAMNDEST TO DODGE EACH SWING! Cy with a kick to the safe leg of Sekaiichi that he’s got in his grasp! Another powerful kick into that safe leg! Cy immediately lunges into a headlock on the downed Sekaiichi! I’ll admit, this is a very smart strategy from somebody as stupid as Cy; he’s not only keeping Sekaiichi down on the canvas, but he’s simultaneously keeping further distance from that dangerous kick-pad by targeting the head of Sekaiichi… But that’s not gonna be nearly enough to keep the great Mikado down! Sekaiichi is slowly but surely fighting his way back up to his feet… Cy applies more pressure to this hold, but it’s not gonna be enough!
Masters: Sekaiichi send an elbow into the ribs of Cy! Cy’s sweating bullets just trying to keep away from that weapon of Sekaiichi’s! ANOTHER sickening elbow that could easily crack a rib as Sekaiichi connects! A third elbow! SEKAIICHI ESCAPES! HIGH KICK TO THE SKULL OF CY WITH THAT DANGEROUS LEG!! IT MISSES AS CY HAS IT SCOUTED! SCHOOLBOY ROLL-UP ON SEKAIICHI OUT OF NOWHERE!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!……
Mak: Kick out from Sekaiichi as both men scramble back to their feet! They’re up! CY WITH A SIDE HEADLOCK TAKEDOWN! Sekaiichi once again finds himself grounded here! HOLD ON! SEKAIICHI WRAPS HIS LEGS AROUND THE SKULL OF CY!! NO–CY IMMEDIATELY BOLTS! Both men racing back to their feet! SEKAIICHI SWINGS! Cy dodges and charges off the ropes! Sekaiichi avoids the powerhouse barreling his way by swiftly rolling off the back of Cy! Cy spins around! SPINNING KICK TO THE FACE!! HE GOT HIM!! SEKAIICHI JUST NAILED CY WITH THAT BARBED-WIRE KICK-PAD!! CY’S SCRAMBLING! BLOOD’S RUNNING DOWN HIS FACE!! SEKAIICHI LOOKS LIKE HE’S JUST WON! SEKAIICHI WITH AN IMMEDIATE KICK TO THE RIBS OF CY WITH THAT KICK-PAD!! ANOTHER KICK TO THE RIBS OF CY AS THE CHALLENGER CRINGES AND SCREAMS IN PAIN! SEKAIICHI’S GETTING IN CY’S FACE NOW! SEKAIICHI LOOKS LIKE HE’S A POSSESSED MAN! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!
Masters: YOU’RE AS SICK AS HE IS IF YOU THINK THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! THIS IS HEINOUS! SEKAIICHI LOOKS LIKE SOME SADIST! Sekaiichi now eagerly calling for Cy to get up! Blood is running down multiple spots on Cy’s body! He’s quickly losing blood! Cy… Cy’s showing what determination he has by slowly rising up… NO! SEKAIICHI WITH A SICKENING KICK TO THE STERNUM OF CY HENDERSON!! THAT BARBED-WIRE TEARS AT THE FLESH OF CY! ANOTHER KICK TO THE STERNUM!! NO! NO! SEKAIICHI’S JUST UNLOADING NOW WITH KICK AFTER KICK INTO THE CHEST OF HIS OPPONENT; THIS IS BECOMING A GODDAMN SLAUGHTER!! HE’S…. HE’S CAUGHT?! What?! It’s almost as if time has stopped here… Cy slowly raises his head as it looks like he’s caught that oncoming leg of Sekaiichi! Sekaiichi looks caught off-guard! Cy… Cy’s rising up! Cy with that leg of his opponent’s caught underneath his left arm!! The barbed-wire continues to rip at him, but he doesn’t seem to give a damn! Sekaiichi looks fearful! Cy is now the possessed one! CY PULLS SEKAIICHI IN!! CY SHOWING SUCH DETERMINATION HERE AS HE NAVIGATES THE BODY OF SEKAIICHI… EXPLODER SUPLEX INTO THE NEAREST CORNER!!! SEKAIICHI’S BODY DROPS LIKE A SACK OF BRICKS; UPSIDE DOWN! Look at Albert Hitchman’s face! He can’t believe it! He’s just as shocked as everyone else that Cy was able to do that!
Mak: This is bullshit! How much roids and painkillers is this guy on to pull that off?! Nonetheless, even with his superhuman strength, Cy is still bloodied and battered from that attack! He’s still too damaged to win this! Cy’s a bloody mess after that onslaught! Hahaha! He’s gotten everything he deserves and then some! Cy now seems to be the only man moving between the two as he slowly makes his way over to the ropes… Dragging himself back to a vertical base while Albert Hitchman attempts to verbally revive his client, Mikado Sekaiichi… Cy KNOWS he’s in trouble! He knows he’s losing blood with every passing second! Sekaiichi now showing signs of life as he slowly makes his way back up to his feet in that corner… Cy’s looking woozy! Cy knows he needs to go back on the attack should he hope to win this, but his body may not be able to cash the cheque his brain wants to write! Cy stumbles into the adjacent corner of Sekaiichi; seemingly taking these few moments to recuperate… WAIT! SEKAIICHI SUDDENLY EXPLODES OUT OF THE CORNER!! SEKAIICHI LUNGES INTO CY WITH A FLURRY OF LEFTS AND RIGHTS!! CY’S FIGHTING BACK WITH ELBOWS!! BOTH MEN STRUGGLING FOR DOMINANCE HERE!!
Masters: CY SEEMS TO BE LOSING THE BATTLE! KATAHAJIME!!!! SEKAIICHI SUDDENLY TRAPS CY IN THIS DREADED KATAHAJIME IN THE CORNER!! THIS IS THE SAME HOLD THAT TOOK HIM DOWN ONCE BEFORE! HE’S FALLEN TO THIS HOLD BEFORE!! SEKAIICHI CONSTRICTS AROUND CY’S THROAT WITH MORE PRESSURE WITH EVERY PASSING SECOND!! CY’S CLUTCHING THE ROPES! HE KNOWS THAT IF HE DROPS TO THE CANVAS, THIS MATCH MAY BE AS GOOD AS FINISHED! CY’S FIGHTING! HE DOESN’T WANT IT TO END HERE! NOT THIS WAY! CY… CY’S CLIMBING UP THE CORNER! HE DROPS HIMSELF DOWN ONTO SEKAIICHI; BRIDGING HIS BODY IN A PINNING ATTEMPT!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!…….. TWO!!!!!!!
Mak: SEKAIICHI WITH A SHOULDER UP! SEKAIICHI MANEUVERING HIS BODY… HE’S STILL GOT IT! SEKAIICHI’S GOT CY GROUNDED IN THAT KATAHAJIME!! CY’S IN PANIC MODE! HE’S CRAWLING HIS WAY TOWARDS THE ROPES…. HE’S GOT THEM! CY CLUTCHES THE BODY ROPE!! THE REFEREE IS DEMANDING SEKAIICHI BREAK THE HOLD, BUT MIKADO REFUSES! Cy may have no choice but to just give it up! He had a good run! Just let it go and tap if you value your career or life at all! Wait… No… NO! Cy’s using those ropes to drag himself to the outside! NO! THEY DROP TO THE OUTSIDE! SEKAIICHI SCISSORS HIS LEGS AROUND CY’S TORSO! CY’S GOT BOTH MEN UP… CY DRIVES HIMSELF BACKWARDS AS SEKAIICHI IS RAMMED INTO THE APRON! Sekaiichi refuses to let go! He can’t win the match out here, but he refuses to let it go! Cy now… HE DRIVES SEKAIICHI INTO THE RINGPOST!! Sekaiichi isn’t letting go! Cy’s losing oxygen! Cy stumbles is way over… Over to the ramp! He’s fading! Cy turns himself around! HE VICIOUSLY DROPS BACK ONTO THE RAMP AS SEKAIICHI IS SANDWICHED!! THE HOLD IS BROKEN?! NO! DAMN IT, NO! Cy somehow got out of that one!
Masters: It’s that fighting spirit of his! He’s not letting it end like that! Look at this! Cy sits up! He’s got a crimson mask, but underneath it you can just feel his hatred for his opponent! Hitchman can only look on in despair as Cy somehow gets up and pulls Sekaiichi with him! CY SENDS SEKAIICHI CRASHING INTO THE METAL BARRICADE NEXT TO THE RAMP!! Sekaiichi definitely looking damaged after that one, but it’s not over yet! Cy grabs him again… SEKAIICHI’S DRIVEN INTO THE STEEL STEPS!! The top of those steps go flying on impact! Sekaiichi’s in trouble! Hitchman’s doing all he can to play cheerleader for his client, but it may not be enough! Cy drags Sekaiichi up once more… IRISH WHIP SENDS SEKAIICHI INTO THE BARRICADE! No! Sekaiichi manages to stop himself! CY CHARGES! SEKAIICHI STOPS CY WITH A KICK TO THE CHEST USING THAT BARBED-WIRE KICK-PAD!! SEKAIICHI IMMEDIATELY PICKS CY UP!! FIREMAN’S CARRY TAKEOVER!! THE BACK OF CY’S SKULL NAILS THE TOP OF THE BARRICADE ON THE WAY DOWN!!
Mak: Cy’s left dazed and confused in the front row as his arms remain hooked around the top of the barricade to keep him up! Sekaiichi drags Cy up more before he… Where’s he going? Sekaiichi makes his way back to the ring and rolls in? Sekaiichi seems to have something SURELY devastating in mind here as he climbs back to his feet with malicious intent in his eyes… SEKAIICHI LEAPS TO THE TOP ROPE!! SPRINGBOARD ELBOW INTO THE BACK OF CY HENDERSON’S SKULL!!! WOW!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THE DISTANCE SEKAIICHI JUST GOT!! BOTH MEN ARE LEFT BATTERED IN THE FIRST FEW ROWS OF THE CROWD AS THEY LOOK ON IN DISBELIEF AT THESE TWO COMPETITORS! Both men have got to be absolutely worn out! Cy may have definitely suffered a concussion after that! He’s scrambling about with a glazed over look in his eyes while Sekaiichi pulls himself up using the barricade; having sacrificed his own body for that amazing maneuver he pulled off! Sekaiichi’s up as he stumbles towards Cy! CHAIR TO THE FACE OF SEKAIICHI?!! WHERE THE… HOW IS CY STILL FIGHTING?! CY GRABS ANOTHER CHAIR AND LAUNCHES IT INTO THE FACE OF SEKAIICHI! ANOTHER FAN HANDS CY THEIR CHAIR! CY CHUCKS IT INTO THE FACE OF SEKAIICHI!! THAT CHAIR WRAPS AROUND SEKAIICHI’S HEAD AS HE DROPS! Blood now pouring down the face of the World Champion as Cy somehow saved himself!
Masters: It’s just like I told you, Mak, Cy is willing to sacrifice everything in his being to win this match! EVERYTHING! His brain may be scrambled, but he doesn’t give a damn! Cy pulls Sekaiichi’s head out from that now set-up chair… Dragging his opponent up, Cy somehow finds himself in the driver’s seat here! HE’S GOT SEKAIICHI UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!!
Hitchman: CY! CY! DON’T DO THIS, CY! THIS ISN’T WORTH IT! HE’S YOUR MIKADO!
Masters: Hitchman’s trying to stop Cy, but his pleas fall upon deaf ears! WATCH OUT!! DARK FLOW!!!! DARK FLOW AS SEKAIICHI’S HEAD IS DRIVEN INTO THE SEAT OF THAT NOW DISMANTLED STEEL CHAIR!!!! THESE TWO MEN HAVE ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED ONE ANOTHER!! ALBERT HITCHMAN IS IN DISBELIEF! I THINK HE KNOWS JUST AS WELL AS WE DO THAT THIS MATCH IS OVER! STICK A KNIFE IN MIKADO! CY KNOWS HE HAS TO END THIS AS HE PULLS BOTH HIMSELF AND SEKAIICHI UP… Sekaiichi looks like he’s braindead after that sickening Dark Flow and he just might be!
(Replays of the Dark Flow onto the seat of a steel chair are shown)
Mak: No… No… No–It can’t end this way! Sekaiichi’s dropped over the barricade as Cy follows behind! Hitchman needs to do something! I need to do something! Sekaiichi can barely move! Cy grabs a hold of the World Champion and sends him rolling back into the ring! NO! HE CAN’T BE WORLD CHAMPION! CY ROLLS IN! JUST AS SEKAIICHI ROLLS OUT!! YES! SEKAIICHI SAVES HIMSELF AS HE IMMEDIATELY DROPS BACK TO THE OUTSIDE! HE KNOWS CY CAN’T DEFEAT HIM ON THE OUTSIDE! GENIUS! Hitchman’s doing all he possibly can to revive his client here! Sekaiichi’s desperately grasping for the apron as a now even MORE pissed off Cy follows him to the outside! Somebody needs to do something! Cy pushes Hitchman out of the way!… He pulls Sekaiichi up–SUPERKICK!!! SEKAIICHI NAILS A SUPERKICK TO THE JAW OF CY! WHAT?! CY… CY’S NOT EVEN AFFECTED! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! CY SWINGS! IT MISSES AS SEKAIICHI DUCKS! DELETE!!! YES!!…. NO WAY… NO WAY… CY LOOKS AS THOUGH HE BARELY FELT IT! C’MON! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! SEKAIICHI CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! MASENKO CHOP TO THE CHEST OF CY! NOTHING?! ARE YOU–CY DROPS SEKAIICHI WITH A CLOTHESLINE!
Masters: This is unbelievable! Cy’s seemingly unstoppable! Sekaiichi’s battered and worn down as he slowly scrambles back to his feet to eat ANOTHER powerful clothesline! Sekaiichi’s in big trouble here! We know what comes next as Cy stalks his opponent! The World Champion is a desperate man! HE’S UP! CY LOOKS FOR THE FULL TRIUMVIRATE AS HE CHARGES FOR A GORE! AXE KICK!! AXE KICK TO THE BACK OF CY’S SKULL OUT OF NOWHERE FROM SEKAIICHI! SECOND AXE KICK! THIRD!! FOURTH!! SEKAIICHI’S UNLOADING WITH COPIOUS AXE KICKS OFF THE BACK OF CY’S SKULL!! A LACERATION NOW VISIBLE AS BLOOD BEGINS TO FLOW DOWN THE BACK OF CY’S HEAD! Sekaiichi may have saved himself! He seems to be scrambling; trying to figure out what to do next! SEKAIICHI CHARGES LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN!! SUPERMAN PUNCH!!! SUPERMAN PUNCH OUT OF NOWHERE FROM CY; COMPLETELY DERAILING SEKAIICHI’S MOMENTUM! This is insane! These two men are going all out here! Cy seems focused on ending this or perhaps ending Sekaiichi in general as he gets to his feet and quickly rips off the mat; exposing that cement underneath! Cy gives Hitchman a middle finger before he grabs a hold of Sekaiichi! Pulling him up!
Mak: This is bad, this is bad… Somebody’s gotta… SEKAIICHI WITH A KNEE TO THE GUT OF CY?! HE IMMEDIATELY PULLS HIM IN! HE’S GOT HIM UP!! SAKUJO SCREWDRIVER!!! THE SAKUJO SCREWDRIVER ONTO THAT CEMENT!! CY’S DEAD! NO WAY! NO WAY IS HE GETTING OUT OF THIS ONE! MIKADO’S DONE IT! SEKAIICHI KNOWS HE’S GOTTA END THIS AS HE GRABS A HOLD OF CY AND DRAGS HIM BACK UP… Sekaiichi quickly sends Cy rolling back into the ring! END IT! SEKAIICHI SLIDES IN! HE COVERS HIM!! STILL WORLD CHAMPION!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!…….. TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!………. THREE!!!
Masters: KICK OUT!! KICK OUT! CY HENDERSON KICKS OUT!! HE’S STILL IN THIS! CY HENDERSON IS STILL IN THIS MATCH; HE’S NOT GIVING UP! SEKAIICHI AND HITCHMAN SHARE THE EXACT SAME EXPRESSION OF PURE SHOCK! Amazing! Cy Henderson just will not give up! Sekaiichi’s growing further and further frustrated! Sekaiichi now yelling for Cy to stay down! Hitchman’s advising Sekaiichi to just END this, but that may be easier said than done! Sekaiichi grabs a hold of Cy by that possibly injured neck and drags him back up to a vertical base… Sekaiichi verbally assaulting Cy as he does it… CY SPRINGS UP WITH A HEADBUTT OFF THE SKULL OF SEKAIICHI!….. SEKAIICHI FIRES BACK WITH A HEADBUTT OF HIS OWN TO THE SKULL OF CY!!…. CY WITH A HEADBUTT TO SEKAIICHI!!…… SEKAIICHI WITH A HEADBUTT TO CY!! CY WITH A HEADBUTT!!! SEKAIICHI WITH A HEADBUTT AS BOTH MEN DROP TO THE CANVAS!!! Both of these men are physically and mentally exhausted! I’m stunned at how far they’ve pushed themselves tonight! Neither man can barely even move by this point! They’ve attacked one another with everything they got! Blood dripping from them both! This is a battle of stamina! Hold on–Both now slowly moving… Sekaiichi takes refuge in the corner as Cy uses sheer willpower to pull himself up…
Mak: Mikado has to end this… He has to… He’s up first in the corner and… Hold on! Look at this! Sekaiichi’s pulling on his hair! He looks like a rabid dog as he yells for Cy to get up! We’ve seen this before! We know who he’s emulating! This is how he won the World Championship!! CY’S UP AS SEKAIICHI CHARGES!! SPEAR!!!! NOBODY’S HOME AS CY TRIPS SEKAIICHI UP!! CY’S GOT A HOLD OF THAT DANGEROUS LEG OF SEKAIICHI!! CY’S DOING ALL HE POSSIBLY CAN TO LOCK SOMETHING IN HERE!! SEKAIICHI’S NOT HAVING IT! HE REFUSES! CY OPTS TO SEND MULTIPLE STOMPS INTO THE STERNUM OF SEKAIICHI! CY JUST RAVAGING SEKAIICHI WITH THOSE STOMPS!! HOLD ON! CY NOW.. HE’S PULLING AT THAT BARBED-WIRE KICK-PAD?! WHAT’S HE DOING?! NO! HE DOES IT!! CY RIPS THE BARBED-WIRE AND IMMEDIATELY PULLS IT OFF OF THE KICK-PAD!! THIS IS NOT GOOD! HITCHMAN IS TRYING TO GET SEKAIICHI TO ESCAPE, BUT IT’S NO GOOD! CY WHIPS SEKAIICHI WITH THAT BARBED-WIRE!! SHADES OF SHOWDOWN FROM WEEKS AGO AS CY TORTURES HIS OPPONENT! FLESH IS TORN WITH EVERYTHING LASHING!! SEKAIICHI IS IN TROUBLE! CY LASHES THE BACK OF SEKAIICHI!! SEKAIICHI CATCHES IT! WITH THAT LAST LASH, SEKAIICHI SOMEHOW CATCHES THE WHIP IN HIS HAND!!
Masters: A bloodied and battered Sekaiichi now lifting himself up; doing all he can to pull that barbed-wire from Cy’s possession… Both men in a tug-of-war now as the barbs rip into their hands! CY GIVES UP AND QUICKLY OPTS TO SEND SEKAIICHI CRASHING TO THE OUTSIDE WITH HUGE CLOTHESLINE!! Sekaiichi’s in trouble; he can barely move… Cy exits to the outside, grabbing a hold of him… Cy’s got that barbed-wire wrapped around his damn knuckles! SHOT TO THE FACE OF SEKAIICHI! ANOTHER! ANOTHER!! SEKAIICHI’S BACKED ONTO THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE AS CY LAYS INTO HIM WITH AN ONSLAUGHT OF BLOWS USING THAT BARBED-WIRE!! CY LETS OUT A BATTLECRY TO THIS AMPED CROWD BEFORE HE CLIMBS UP ONTO THE APRON! Cy making his way up to the top turnbuckle… Oh no–He wraps that barbed-wire around his arm… We know where this is going…
Mak: NO! THIS IS WHAT DEFEATED SEKAIICHI AT ROAD TO REDEMPTION!! DON’T DO IT, CY!! GODDAMN IT! Hold on! Hitchman’s putting himself in front of Sekaiichi!
Hitchman: PLEASE, CY! PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU! PLEASE DON’T DO THIS! PLEASE!! PLEASE!!
Masters: CY LEAPS!!! BARBED-WIRE-WRAPPED ELBOW DRIVEN INTO THE HEART OF SEKAIICHI AS THAT TABLE SHATTERS INTO A MILLION PIECES!!!! THIS ISN’T MINE TO SAY, BUT GODDAMN IT–BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY!!! HITCHMAN HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE OUT OF THE WAY AS CY’S BODY CAME FLYING TOWARDS HIM! CY DID NOT GIVE A DAMN!! CY WAS DETERMINED TO END THIS!! CY MAY HAVE JUST DESTROYED BOTH MEN IN THE PROCESS!! NOBODY IS MOVING! NO–LOOK AT THIS!! CY’S MOVING! CY SITS UP!! SOMEHOW! SOMEWAY! THIS MAN IS NOT GIVING UP UNTIL HE’S WON THIS GODDAMN MATCH!! Hitchman has no idea what to think! Sekaiichi hasn’t moved an inch! I’m not sure he’s even breathing! Cy’s become a damn zombie–bent on winning! He drags both himself and Sekaiichi back up… Ready to end this as he navigates Sekaiichi over to the ring and sends him rolling back in! Cy slowly follows suit as… Hold on! Hitchman has entered the ring! Hitchman’s on his knees in the corner; pleading to Cy!
Hitchman: Cy! Cy–PLEASE don’t end this! Don’t do this to him! Cy, look at me… Look at me, I’m on my knees! Please don’t! I can pay you! I can pay you if you just don’t end this!
Mak: Cy using the ropes to pull himself back to his feet as he stares down Hitchman… CY SPITS IN HITCHMAN’S FACE?! THAT NO GOOD SON OF A BITCH!! HITCHMAN CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! CY’S GRABBING SEKAIICHI–PICKING HIM UP!! NO! DON’T LET HIM, HITCHMAN!! DO SOMETHING!! HITCHMAN RUSHES TOWARDS HIM! CY SWINGS THE BODY OF SEKAIICHI INTO HITCHMAN!! NO, DAMN IT, NO! DARK FLOW!!!! SEKAIICHI ESCAPES!! HE’S GOT THE WRIST-LOCK ON CY!! KING’S LANDING!!!! CY COUNTERS WITH A MASSIVE LARIAT OUT OF NOWHERE?!!! NO!! NO!! SEKAIICHI’S DOWN!! CY COVERS HIM!!! NO!!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!!………. TWO!!!!!!!!!!!……….. THREE!!!!
Masters: HE KICKS OUT?! HE KICKED OUT OF THAT?!! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! HOW IS SEKAIICHI STILL ALIVE IN THIS?! CY HENDERSON CAN’T BELIEVE IT! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! MIKADO SEKAIICHI SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY GETS THE SHOULDER UP TO SAVE HIMSELF! CY DOESN’T SEEM TO BE HAVING IT!! HE’S LOOKING TO FINISH THIS!! GOGOPLATA!! BERSERKER!!!! THE BERSERKER IS LOCKED IN ON SEKAIICHI!!! SEKAIICHI HAS NOWHERE TO GO!! CY’S PUTTING EVERYTHING HE HAS INTO THIS!! CY’S ON THE VERGE OF BECOMING WORLD CHAMPION!! SEKAIICHI’S TRAPPED LIKE A RAT!! HITCHMAN’S DOWN!! HE CAN’T ESCAPE! NOT AFTER THE PUNISHMENT HE’S BEEN PUT THROUGH!! CY’S PUTTING EVERYTHING HE HAS INTO THIS!! HE RAPIDLY INCREASES THE PRESSURE!!! SEKAIICHI TAPS!!!!! YES!!!!
Mak: NO!!!! THE REFEREE’S BEEN PULLED OUT OF THE RING JUST SECONDS BEFORE!! HITCHMAN DECKS HIM!! THE REFEREE HAS BEEN RENDERED INCAPACITATED! YES! THANK GOD! THANK MIKADO!! HE HASN’T LOST ANYTHING YET!! Cy breaks the hold after realizing what happened… Oh boy… Hitchman and Cy lock eyes! CY IMMEDIATELY EXITS TO THE OUTSIDE AS HITCHMAN STARTS RUNNING FOR THE HILLS!! HITCHMAN’S DOING ALL HE CAN TO GET AWAY FROM THIS SICK, SADISTIC MAN, BUT CY’S QUICKLY GAINING!! HE’S CATCHING UP TO HITCHMAN!! HITCHMAN HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO TAKE REFUGE IN THE RING! CY FOLLOWS BEHIND! HOLD ON–SEKAIICHI SPRINGS UP! HE SWINGS!! IT MISSES?! CY PICKS SEKAIICHI UP!! NO! CY’S LOOKING FOR THE DARK FLOW!!! HITCHMAN CHARGES, BUT CY NAILS HIM WITH A KICK TO THE GUT! NO WAY! CY PICKS HITCHMAN UP AS WELL!! HOW DOES HE HAVE THIS KIND OF STRENGTH?!! CY’S GOT BOTH HITCHMAN AND SEKAIICHI UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!!! DON’T DO IT!! HITCHMAN ESCAPES AS HE DROPS OFF THE BACK OF CY!! LOWBLOW!!! LOWBLOW TO CY AS SEKAIICHI SLOWLY DROPS DOWN TO HIS FEET! HE GRABS CY!! KING’S LANDING!!!!! KING’S LANDING CONNECTS!!!
Masters: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! Cy’s dropped right on the back of his head! Hitchman quickly escapes to the outside as Sekaiichi… Hold on, Sekaiichi’s not finished… Sekaiichi woozily stumbles over to the nearest corner as he quickly climbs up… What’s he thinking?! SEKAIICHI’S PERCHED!! FALL FROM GRACE!!!! THE FALL FROM GRACE SWANTON BOMB CONNECTS ON CY HENDERSON AS HITCHMAN PUSHES THE DAMAGED REFEREE BACK INTO THE RING! NO! NOT THIS WAY!! SEKAIICHI COVERS!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!………. TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!…………. THREE!!!!!!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Hail to the King” by Avenged Sevenfold plays all throughout the arena as a relieved Alfred Hitchman enters the ring and hands Mikado Sekaiichi his crown)
Announcer: THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST BY PINFALL…. AND STTTTTTIIIIIIILLLLLLLLL E-A-W HEAVYWIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOORRRLLLLDDD….. MIKADO SEEEEKKKKKKAAAAAAIIIIICCCCCHHHHIIIIIII!!!!
Mak: YES! YES! YES! HAAAIIIILLL TO THE KIIIINNNGGGGG! HAIL TO THE OOOONNNNNEEEE! KNEEL TO THE CROWWWNNNN!!! SING IT WITH ME, MASTERS! THIS IS A DAY OF CELEBRATION!! SEKAIICHI CONTINUES HIS EXCEPTIONAL REIGN AS OUR MIKADO AND AS OUR WORLD CHAMPION!
Masters: I’m not even going to get into an argument with you right now… I’m just going to say that despite Hitchman’s ridiculous intervening in this match, these two men DID beat the Holy High HELL out of one another tonight. They left it ALL in that ring. Both of these men just showed everybody in this company why they’re two of the most talented men in this industry… Even despite Sekaiichi needing help just to win tonight.
Mak: Oh shut the fuck up, Masters! You need to know when to just shut your word hole and accept Mikado Sekaiichi as your World Champion until the end of time!
Masters: Well, miraculously, Sekaiichi can actually still walk after this match, but you can see it in his eyes that he went through a WAR tonight with Cy Henderson… He… Hold on… Hold on! Cy clutches the bottom of Albert Hitchman’s slacks as he attempts to leave with Sekaiichi! Cy’s still got life in him! Hitchman is looking very concerned here; as he should be! Cy’s slowly rising back up! Hitchman’s desperately calling out to his client!
Hitchman: SEKAIICHI! HELP ME! SEKAIICHI!!
(A bloodied, battered, limping Mikado Sekaiichi is shown looking back on camera… A grin slowly appears across his face as he turns back and continues up the ramp)
Mak: And just like that, it seems he’s Hitchman’s client no more!
Masters: Are you kidding me?! Sekaiichi’s just gonna abandon Hitchman?! Has he no shame?! Cy’s back up to his feet with Hitchman in his grasp! Hitchman’s trying to talk his way out of this! CY WITH A SHOT TO THE FACE OF HITCHMAN!! HITCHMAN DROPS TO THE OUTSIDE; TRYING TO ESCAPE! Cy slowly rolls to the outside… Hitchman’s cowering against the barricade! Hitchman’s trying to do all he can to get out of this!
Hitchman: Please, Cy! PLEASE! I HAD TO DO IT! THEY MADE ME DO IT! PLEASE! IT WAS NOTHING PERSONAL! I SWEAR TO YOU!
Masters: Cy seems to… Well, he seems to actually be listening… Cy seems to be backing away… Perhaps–CY CHARGES!! CY BREAKS HITCHMAN THROUGH THE BARRICADE WITH A MASSIVE TACKLE!!!! JUST LIKE THAT–HITCHMAN JUST GOT WHAT’S COMING TO HIM, COURTESY OF CY!! LOOK AT THIS! THESE FANS IN THE CROWD NOW THROWING THEIR CHAIRS ONTO THE BODY OF HITCHMAN!! THEY’RE LITERALLY BURYING HIM IN A PILE OF CHAIRS AS A DEFEATED, BUT SATISFIED CY HENDERSON LOOKS ON… It looks as though Cy lives to fight another day as he makes his way up the ramp; damaged, but still walking!
(“Beware” by Death Grips plays all throughout the arena as Cy Henderson slowly makes his way to the back)
( Highlights of EE returning at GR last year, his feud with Hades and winning the AWC play o nthe screen )
( Camera pans to the THOR locker-room, where Hades and Venom are seated with Venom wrapping tape around his joints, and Hades putting his gloves on )
Venom: Hades.. I gotta talk to you about something.
Hades: What is it.
Venom: It’s about Nick.. he’s.. been pretty off lately (wary). I’m thinking about kicking him out of THOR.
Hades: Okay.
Venom: Well.. how do you feel about it?
*knock, knock, knock*
( Cleopatra opens the THOR locker-room door, and she walks in with Dark Demon standing behind her staring down Hades. Venom stands up, confronting them as Demon and Hades maintain eye contact. )
Venom: What do you want around here? We ain’t got anything you want.
Cleo: Relax, rugrat. We’re actually here to talk to Hades. HTH, Dark Demon is asking.. no.. he’s demanding that you make it your mission to eliminate Zack Crash tonight.
Venom: And just why the HELL would we take orders from Dark Demon, you dumb skank!?
Cleo: Being that I’ve held a title longer than you’ve even been in EAW, I’d watch the way you talk to me, cocksucker.
Venom: JUST GET THE HELL OU–
Hades: Is that really your reason for showing your face around here, Demon? Just to ask me to eliminate somebody? Are you that afraid of Crash winning the Grand Rampage? So insecure that you have to ASK me to eliminate him?
( Demon stares at Hades but doesn’t answer )
Hades: Well then..
( Hades stands up and stares Demon down )
Hades: The answer’s no. Hell no. I’ll eliminate Zack Crash but I’ll do it for me, not you. Now get the fuck out. NOW.
Cleo: Just the kind of insolence I’d expect from an underachiever like you–
Demon: Cleo. Let’s go.
( Demon exits the room and Cleo shoots Hades and Venom a mean look before following him. Hades looks on before taking a seat again. )
(A montage of past Grand Rampages are shown as “Written in the Stars 2.0” by Eric Turner begins to play in the background while a Narrator speaks over it)
“Whether or not you win this thing, you’ve got to decide how you’re gonna walk out of here when it’s all said and done, because the game is going to go on… And there’s only one rule you’re going to need to know about: There are no second chances.”
(Men and women alike are shown getting eliminated as “174 Eliminations” is shown across the screen)
“There is only this moment and the next moment. Every one of those moments is a test that you get to take one time, and only one time. So, if you see an opening, tear into it!”
(Masters, Captain Charisma, Cyclone, Robbie V, Chris Hessian, and Johnny Ventura are shown winning the Grand Rampages of the past as “6 Winners” is shown across the screen)
“If you get a shot at victory, make damn sure you take it. Seize that moment!”
(Pyro of past Pain For Pride events are shown going off in slow-motion as “1 Goal” is shown across the screen)
“That moment is a crossroads where everything you want will collide with everything standing in your way.”
(Various Extremists are shown as “29 Opponents” is shown across the screen)
“You’ve got momentum at your back. Fear and doubt are thundering like a freight-train straight at you, and all you’ve got—the only difference between making history and being history… The only thing… the only thing you can count on at any given moment is you!”
(A montage is shown of past Grand Rampage competitors battling one another)
“It’s you versus “them.”
(A close-up of Zack Crash is shown)
“You versus ‘no.'”
(A close-up of Ryan Savage is shown)
“You versus ‘can’t.'”
(A close-up of Hades The Hellraiser is shown)
“You versus next year… last year… statistics… excuses.”
(A close-up of DEDEDE is shown)
“It’s you versus history.”
(A close-up of Jaywalker is shown)
“You versus the odds. It’s you versus second place.”
(A close-up of Tyler Parker is shown)
“The clock’s ticking. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
BUZZ!!!
(Camera transitions to a close-up of the Pain For Pride Se7en Logo before slowly zooming out to reveal Michael Buffer standing in the middle of the ring as a microphone descends down to him)
Michael Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following bout will be contested for one of the most coveted prizes in the history of professional wrestling: A guaranteed World Championship shot of one’s choosing should they be able to defeat twenty-nine other opponents; they will proceed to make their way to the Pinnacle of E-Feds! The Grandaddy of Them All! The Show of Shows! PAIN-FOR-PRIDE-SE7EN!!!…. So, for the thousands in attendance in the Palace of Auburn Hills…. And for the millions watching around the World….. LLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTT’SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS GET READY TO RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMPPAAAAAGGGGEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
(Camera cuts to the Heart Break Gal and Mak at the announce table)
Mak: WELCOME–
HBG: WELCOME TO WHAT YOU’VE ALL–
Mak: WELCOME TO WHAT YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! IT’S TIME FOR THE 2014 GRAND RAMPAGE MATCH!
HBG: Asshole…
Mak: Bitch.
HBG: Well this match is well-known for lasting quite a while, but I’m willing to pay all thirty entrants to hurry it the fuck up if it means getting away from this smelly Canadian that much quicker.
Mak: Really, you’d do that? You know they’re gonna be confused about that, HBG. They’re used to being the ones who pay you.
Announcer: Introducing the Number One Entrant….
HBG: Oh gee, who could it be? ”The suspense is killing me”…
(“Till I Collapse” by Eminem plays all throughout the arena as DEDEDE makes his way out to the stage in dominantly red attire with black on it as he makes his way towards the ring with a look of determination; as well as a guitar in his hands filled with copious weapons and barbed wire strings)
Announcer: Making his way to the ring…. From Fort Lauderdale, Florida!…. Weighing in at 240 pounds!…. HE IS “THE MASTER MANIPULATOR”…. DE! DE!! DDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!….
Mak: After the monumental ass-kicking he gave the Prince of Phenomenal earlier tonight that even made ME hurt, I’m sure there’s a lot of people that changed their bets heading into this match. Was that smart of them? Are you trying to imply these people are smart? No it wasn’t a fucking smart idea! DEDEDE’s fans are too busy circle-jerking with one another to realize he’s the NUMBER ONE entrant in this match! The odds are stacked in his favor! C’mon!
(“Shining Down” by Lupe Fiasco plays all throughout the arena as Jaywalker proudly makes his way out to the stage; holding up his Hall of Fame Championship for all to see)
Announcer: And the number two entrant!…. Making his way to the ring…. From Scarborough, Canada!…. Weighing in at 240 pounds!…. HE IS THE E-A-W HALL OF FAME CHAMPION…. JAAAAAAYYYYYYYYWWWWWAALLLKKKEEERRRRRR!!!….
HBG: Let’s be honest here: I hate every person in this match with a fiery passion, but I hate this man just a LITTLE bit less tonight if only for the fact that he’s not only promised to kick Cameron’s ass, but also because he happens to be a part of the home of me, Dynasty. Though the amount of Canadians currently in this vicinity is too damn high, I’ll try to remain professional and refrain from vomiting.
(DING! DING! DING!)
Mak: It’s been quite a while since we’ve seen these compete in a one on one environment, even though we’re about to be joined by twenty-eight others in this Grand Rampage match… Both men seem to be speaking to one another before DDD extends his hand? Get on with it already! Jaywalker seems cautious about this… He’s every bit as crafty as DDD is… But he accepts it nonetheless as Jaywalker and DDD shake hands before they get to work in this match! DDD IMMEDIATELY SWINGS FOR THE FENCES WITH THAT EQUALIZER OF HIS!! Jaywalker’s got it scouted as he ducks the attack and meets DDD with multiple closed-fist shots right to the face! That Equalizer drops to the canvas as Jaywalker continues the attack! DDD’s slowly being backed up!
HBG: Canadians are much more savage than this! Get the led out, Jay! DDD manages to nail Jay with a quick knee to the gut and turns the tables on his opponent; trapping Jay on the ropes and assaulting him with merciless lefts and rights all over the body! Jay’s doing all he can to defend himself! HEADBUTT TO THE SKULL FROM JAY! Just like that, DDD goes stumbling away in pain… JAY EXPLODES FROM THE ROPES! TRANSCENSION!!!! DDD telegraphs that destructive move as he ducks the oncoming arm of Jay! Jay quickly turns around! SPEAR!!!! NO–JAY CATCHES DDD AND LEVELS HIM WITH AN DOUBLE-A SPINEBUSTER!
Mak: Goddamn it, DDD! You’re making Showdown look bad! Get your ass up and put that artificial hip into the next gear! DDD’s visibly in pain following that as Jay now eyes that dropped Equalizer… Jay obviously with sinister intentions here as he grabs that instrument of torture and targets DDD! Jay yelling for DDD to get up! LOOK OUT! JAY SWINGS THAT EQUALIZER! NO–IT’S CAUGHT! DDD STOPS IT! BOTH MEN STRUGGLING! DDD catches Jay with an elbow to the face; taking back possession of the Equalizer! DDD SWINGS!! Jay ducks it! JAY CHARGES!! DDD DROPS THE EQUALIZER AND SENDS JAYWALKER OVER THE ROPES!! No–Jay holds on!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4….3….2….1…. BUZZ!!!!
(“Gangster’s Paradise” by Like A Storm plays all throughout the arena as Ryan Savage makes his way out to the stage and quickly rushes down to the ring)
HBG: Here comes a man that epitomizes everything these old fuckin’ geezers in the ring don’t: YOUTH! Ryan wastes absolutely no time getting to the ring, sliding in, and charging like a Goddamn freight train as DDD attempts to eliminate Jay! LOOK OUT! RYAN SENDS DDD TOPPLING OVER!!! HE’S OUT! NO–DDD HANGS ONTO JAY TO SAVE HIMSELF FROM ELIMINATION! DDD quickly regains his balance on the apron, but he’s immediately met with several hard shots from Jaywalker! Jay doing his damndest to get DDD the Hell out!
Mak: Ryan doesn’t look finished yet! We may see a huge upset if he can send these two to the retirement home where they belong! RYAN SAVAGE COMES CHARGING! HE’S MET WITH A DOUBLE-TEAM ELBOW TO THE FACE FROM JAY AND DDD!! JAY SWINGS A FOOT INTO THE BALLS OF DDD!! DDD almost immediately drops down on the apron, but he somehow manages to roll back into the ring underneath the ropes! Jay looks like he’s getting tired of DDD’s shit! Jay re-enters the ring through the ropes as he looks to end DDD’s time in this contest… Hold on! Jay’s quickly met with a flurry of forearms to the back from Ryan!
HBG: Jay quickly spins around for a big lariat out of nowhere to Savage! It misses as Ryan catches the arm of Jaywalker and wraps around him! CRUCIFIX DRIVER!! Where did that come from?! Color me impressed with this guy! Ryan looks like he’s not sure who to go for an elimination on, but it looks like he’s targeting Jay as he grabs a hold of him and slowly drags the Hall of Fame Champion back to a vertical base! RYAN SENDS JAY INTO THE ROPES AND OVER! No–Jay pushes Ryan off and into the ropes! Ryan coming back! DOUBLE-A SPINEBUSTER! NO–RYAN COUNTERS INTO A DDT ON JAY!!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4….3….2….1…. BUZZ!!!!
(“The Pride” by Five Finger Death Punch plays all throughout the arena as Jacob Senn quickly makes his way down to the ring)
Mak: Here comes entrant number four and it’s none other than the man that has pledged he will win this match tonight, but that’s been said a thousand times by now from every competitor who’s participated in this match, so let’s see how he backs it up as he immediately slides in… Senn going right to work in a still damaged DDD, in a sitting up position in the nearest corner following that kick that probably sent his voice up an octave or two! Senn is showing absolutely no mercy as he lays into DDD with stomp after stomp! Senn grabbing a hold of DDD now, dragging him back up to his feet… SENN LOOKING FOR A QUICK ELIMINATION ON DDD AS PICKS HIM UP!!
HBG: DDD’s fighting it with everything he’s got, but he needs to just do what he should have a LONG time ago and just go towards the light! Let go! Meanwhile, Ryan Savage seems to have the number of our dear Jaywalker as he looks for a huge elimination of his own! Jay’s fighting back as he’s trapped up on the ropes; sending multiple shots into the body of Ryan.. Ryan stops Jay dead in his tracks with a forearm to the face! Ryan looking for something big here perhaps as he pulls Jay in! PICKING HIM UP! JAY’S FIGHTING! RYAN DROPS JAY ACROSS THE TOP ROPE!
Mak: Ryan looking to follow it up as he charges off the ropes! BOOT TO THE SKULL OF JAY! HE’S OUT AS HE DROPS!! NO–JAY HOLDS ON FOR DEAR LIFE! Ryan’s trying to push him off! C’mon! Get him! Jay’s not having it as he nails Ryan with a shot! Another! Ryan with a shot of his own! Ryan charges off the ropes-LOOKING FOR ANOTHER BOOT! JAYWALKER NAILS AN ONCOMING RYAN WITH A DECAPITATING CLOTHESLINE AS RYAN DOES A COMPLETE BACKFLIP!! Jay saves himself as he re-enters while DDD and Senn continue to go at it in the corner!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4….3….2….1…. BUZZ!!!!
(“My Curse” by Killswitch Engaged plays all throughout the arena as Victor Vendetta makes his way down to the ring with a barbed wire, thumbtack, glass, and razor blade-glued metal table)
HBG: Here comes number five and what a monstrosity he’s brought with him that table is! Vic looks eager to put his weapon to use as he sets it up right in front of the ring and slides in as he looks for somebody to put through it! May God have mercy on their soul! Vic immediately rushes over to Jacob Senn to aid him in the potential elimination of DDD! DDD has quickly found himself in dire straits in this contest! He’s doing all he can to keep himself from going back on his word that he would prove Kendra wrong and win this match for the first time in his career tonight!
Mak: Jay doesn’t even seem concerned with eliminating Ryan Savage after damn-near killing the kid with that clothesline earlier! Jay looks like he’s gonna play it safe as he backs into corner and merely awaits an opportune time to strike… DDD’s fighting! Shot to Senn! Shot to Vic! Headbutt to Senn! Elbow to Vic! DDD manages to wrangle Senn off of him with a quick series of blows! VIC RUSHES IN! BIG BOOT TAKES VIC DOWN! Senn’s back in this as he nails DDD with multiple forearms! SENN PICKING DDD UP IN A SUPLEX POSITION! DDD’S FIGHTING WITH ALL HE’S GOT! Senn drops DDD on the top turnbuckle! JUMPING ENZUIGIRI!! DDD’S TILTING TO THE OUTSIDE!! DDD’s doing all he possibly can to regain his balance, but he’s met with an attack by Senn!
HBG: Senn’s wasting no time going to work as he climbs up there with DDD! Senn with shots to the forehead of DDD! LOOK OUT!! JAYWALKER RUSHES IN! No–Senn wraps his legs around the head of Jay and lays into him! Jay doing all he can to escape this as he slowly backs away out of the corner as he’s got Senn up in an electric chair position!! DDD regaining his balance… Hold on… DDD’S UP! HE LEAPS!! SPEAR!!!! DDD SPEARS JACOB SENN OFF OF THE SHOULDERS OF JAYWALKER!!! I don’t think Jay realizes what just happened!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4….3….2….1…. BUZZ!!!!
(“House of Dreams” by Bliss N Eso plays all throughout the arena as Eddie Mack makes his way down to the ring)
Mak: Looks like the sixth entrant is none other than the first member of Demon’s Circus in this match as the sad rodeo clown that is Eddie Mack quickly enters the ring! JUMPING HEEL KICK TO THE FACE OF JAYWALKER! Eddie quickly back up to his feet as Ryan charges for him! Eddie’s got it scouted as he ducks! Ryan turns around to meet an oncoming Pele kick from Eddie! Eddie looks like he’s found his target in this bout as he kips back up and turns his focus to a dazed Ryan Savage, who stumbles backwards into the ropes… Eddie charges! Boot to the face from Ryan!
HBG: RYAN LEAPS ONTO THE SHOULDERS OF EDDIE! HURRICANRANA SENDS BOTH MEN OVER THE ROPES!! NO–They unfortunately somehow both cling onto the ropes to save themselves from elimination! Eddie Mack is up first as he uses the ropes to aid him, but he’s met with a hard forearm to the mid-section from Ryan out of nowhere! Both men battling on the apron! Eddie sending kicks into Ryan while Ryan attempts to gain control with his powerful strikes! VICTOR RUSHES IN WITH A DROPKICK RIGHT INTO EDDIE!! EDDIE’S OUT! NO! No–Eddie’s barely and I mean BARELY hanging on as the toes of his boots hang onto the bottom rope!
Mak: Ryan looks to eliminate Eddie, but Ryan’s now met with an attack from Victor! Eddie saving himself here as Ryan struggles with Victor! Ryan with a jumping kick to the face of Victor! Ryan now pulls Eddie in! Picking him up! Eddie’s fighting! Eddie with multiple shots into Ryan as Ryan backs up into the ringpost! Eddie climbs onto the top turnbuckle! Victor rushes in! Eddie meets him with a kick to the face! EDDIE LEAPS! CORKSCREW MOONSAULT CONNECTS ON A STANDING VICTOR VENDETTA!!!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4….3….2….1…. BUZZ!!!!
(“This Means War” by Ozzy Osbourne and Busta Rhymes plays all throughout the arena as Hades The Hellraiser quickly makes his way down to the ring)
HBG: Oh Goddamn it! Somebody chop down this giant asshole as soon as humanly possible before he kills everyone like he did last year! Hades quickly makes it into the ring without having torn a quad yet and goes to work on making NO friends in this match whatsoever as he lays into Eddie Mack with multiple shots! BIG BOOT TO THE FACE TAKES EDDIE DOWN! Hades is on the prowl in this match and it looks like his next target is none other than his Grand Rampage opponent from last year, Jaywalker! Hades quickly lays into Jay with lefts and rights into the mid-section! BOOT TO THE FACE OF JAY SENDS HIM BACKPEDALING!
Mak: DDD now looks to be the one in control in this battle with Jacob Senn in this contest as he picks him up in a fireman’s carry position! DDD LOOKING TO SEND SENN TOPPLING TO THE OUTSIDE! SENN WITH AN ELBOW TO THE JAW OF DDD! ANOTHER ELBOW! Senn unloading as Hades wraps a big hand around the throat of Jaywalker! There are two things in this World that never forget: Elephants and this fuckin’ guy! Hades’ has murder in his eyes as chokes the life out of Jay! HOLD ON–HADES TIPPING JAY OVER THE ROPES!! No–Jay refuses to find himself in a spot that could mean elimination again as he fights back! Shot to Hades!
HBG: Another shot to the skull of Hades! Another! Jay’s gaining some much-needed control here as he fights Hades! European uppercut connects on Hades as Jay escapes from his grip! DROPKICK CONNECTS RIGHT INTO THE RIGHT KNEE OF HADES! Hades quickly finds himself at the mercy of Jay on one knee! Jay off the ropes! HE CHARGES! Hades catches him! Hades has Jay in his grasp! Eddie and Ryan in from behind! Both men setting Hades up… DOUBLE-TEAM BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX CONNECTS ON HADES AS JAY GOES FLYING DOWN TO THE CANVAS!!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4….3….2….1…. BUZZ!!!!
(“The Legendary Sannin” by Area 11 plays all throughout the arena as Juha quickly makes his way down to the ring)
Mak: And then there’s this guy!…. Yeah, him! This guy! Anyway, uh, he slides into the ring and immediately takes Ryan down with a big clothesline! His NEO colleague, Victor, is back in this match as he charges for Juha! Big dropkick connects! Juha’s sent stumbling into the ropes! VICTOR CHARGES! Juha catches Victor with a boot to the jaw! Senn’s got DDD up now! BRAINBUSTER CONNECTS!! Senn levels DDD with a huge maneuver, but it looks like he’s not going for the elimination this time around! Senn seems to be playing the same strategy Jaywalker played earlier in this contest…
HBG: Being a pussy? Is that what it’s called? Senn seems to be backing up into the nearest corner and waiting for an appropriate time to attack while Juha looks to send Victor over the ropes! Victor’s fighting back with multiple elbows into the jaw of Juha! Victor picking Juha up! Juha’s fighting! Juha lands on his feet on the apron and immediately clocks Victor with a huge right hand! Juha looks satisfied with himself after that one! REVELATION!!!! THAT SUPERKICK OUT OF NOWHERE FROM SENN CONNECTS ON JUHA AS HE DROPS TO THE OUTSIDE!!
Announcer: Juha has been eliminated!!…..
Mak: It’s about damn time we have our first elimination! Senn seized the moment and Juha’s not only leaving this match with shattered dreams, but a shattered jaw to go along with it! DDD RUSHES IN FROM BEHIND!! SENN’S SENT OVER THE ROPES!! NO–HE HANGS ON! SENN HANGING ON WITH BOTH HANDS! Senn skins the cat as he wraps his legs around the head of DDD! DDD pulls Senn into the ring! BELLY TO BELLY SHOULDER BREAKER ON SENN!!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4….3….2….1…. BUZZ!!!!
(“Keeps Me Burning” by Masterplan plays all throughout the arena as Carlos Rosso rushes down to the ring)
HBG: Incomes ½ of the EAW Unified Tag Team Champions and a proud representative of Dynasty, Carlos! Carlos immediately climbs to the nearest top turnbuckle! HE LEAPS! BIG DROPKICK TAKES DDD DOWN!! Carlos kips up as Hades swings with a big right hand! Jumping enzuigiri from Carlos takes the big man down! Ryan with a kick to the gut of Carlos and picks him up! No–Carlos manages to counter as he lands on his feet behind Ryan! BACK-CRACKER CONNECTS!! Carlos is on fire in this! He’s back up and charges into Jaywalker with a knee to the gut!
Mak: Another knee to the gut! Jay with a shot of his own! CARLOS DROPS JAY WITH A ROLLING FOREARM TO THE FACE! Eddie charges in! He’s caught and hit with an inverted atomic drop! Eddie drops down to his knees! LOOK OUT! BOMA-YE!!!! EDDIE’S NAILED WITH THE BOMA-YE! Carlos has taken full control in this match! A damaged Hades now climbing back to his feet in the corner as Carlos targets him… Carlos charges! Hades sends him up and to the outside!! Carlos lands on his feet and connects with a shot to Hades!
Mak: Hades with a big one-handed uppercut to Carlos! VICTOR CHARGES INTO HADES! Hades has it scouted as he dodges! Victor nails Carlos in the gut! Victor turns around to a kick from Hades! HADES PULLS HIM IN! PICKING VICTOR UP!! LAST CALL SENDS VICTOR INTO CARLOS AS BOTH MEN CRASH THROUGH THAT BARBED WIRE, RAZOR BLADE, GLASS, AND THUMBTACKS-COVERED METAL TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE!!!! YOU! ARE! OUTTAAAAAA HEEERREE!!
Announcer: Victor Vendetta and Carlos Rosso have been eliminated!!…..
10….9….8….7….6….5….4….3….2….1…. BUZZ!!!!
(“Break” by Three Days Grace plays all throughout the arena as a damaged Nick Angel makes his way out to the stage with the ball tumbler in hand as a weapon)
HBG: Nick looks like he’s taken one too many balls to the face tonight, but at least he’s still in this and he’s got vengeance in his eyes for the man who humiliated him earlier, DEDEDE! Hades is calling for Nick to hurry his ass up ass he… LOOK!!!! LOOK!!! IT’S NEMESIS!!!! NEMESIS FROM BEHIND!!! NEMESIS SHATTERS A GLASS STEEL CHAIR ACROSS THE BACK OF NICK’S SKULL!!!! WHERE THE HELL DID HE COME FROM?! NEMESIS IS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT THE SIGHT OF WHAT HE’S JUST DONE TO NICK ANGEL!! Hades looks baffled! Nick looks dead!
Mak: Who the fuck hired the clown? Nonetheless, I don’t think Nick’s bloody corpse is gonna be dragging itself into the ring, so it looks like Nemesis is taking his spot by force! Nemesis walks along Nick’s body and hops off of him as he skips down to the ring! Hades looks furious! DDD CHARGES INTO HADES OUT OF NOWHERE!! DDD LANDING MULTIPLE STRIKES INTO HADES! Nemesis continues to laugh to himself as he enters the ring to join this Grand Rampage bout! Nemesis quickly goes to work on Eddie Mack…
HBG: Mack and Nemesis laying into one another as both men trade blows! DDD reignited his rivalry with Hades as both men brawl in the corner! Jaywalker and Jacob Senn now forming a short alliance here as both men target Ryan Savage! Three men have been eliminated thus far while only seven remain and twenty more to come! DDD nails Hades with a belly to belly suplex out of nowhere! Hold on… DDD now rolling to the outside… He picks up that Equalizer!! DDD finally looking to put that to use in this match as he slides back in!! Somebody’s gonna die! I love it!
Mak: Hades is working his way back up.. and DDD GRINDS THE BARBEDWIRED STRING SIDE OF THE EQUALIZER INTO HADES’ FACE, STANDING OVER HIM IN A CAMEL CLUTCH POSITION! Savage hits a side kick into Senn, grabs Jay’s head and BASHES IT into Senn’s skull as Jay leans back in the ropes.. and Savage rushes towards Jay– JAY DUCKS, BACK-BODY TO THE OUTSIDE, BUT RYAN COUNTERS IN MID-AIR FOR THE HURRICANRANA SENDING BOTH MEN TO THE OUTSIDE! .. NOPE, BOTH MEN CATCH THEMSELF ON THE MIDDLE ROPE, AND RE-ENTER! Nemesis has Eddie Mack cornered, and he strikes DEDEDE from behind and brings him to the opposite corner.. Nemesis grabs Jacob Senn and whips him into the same corner as Mack.. Nemesis grabs Ryan Savage and Jaywalker and pile them into DEDEDE’s corner!! AND NOW NEMESIS RUNS, BODY SPLASH INTO JACOB SENN AND EDDIE MACK! RUNS ACROSS THE RING, BODY SPLASH INTO RYAN SAVAGE, JAYWALKER AND DEDEDE! RYAN IS KNOCKED DOWN, SENN IS KNOCKED DOWN. NOW NEMESIS RUNS BACK ACROSS THE RING.. BODY SPLASH INTO EDDIE MACK.. NOW ABOUT TO DO A CORNER SPLASH ON DEDEDE AND JAY.. BUT JAY DUCKS AS DEDEDE CHARGES OUT OF THE CORNER FOR A SPEAR!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4….3….2….1…. BUZZ!!!!
( “Warriors of Time” by Black Tide hits as Dubian rushes out to the ring )
HBG: That was awesome! … AND HERE COMES THE TRANSCENSION LARIAT FORM BEHIND ON MR. DEDEDE!!! JAYWALKER KNOCKS DEDEDE OUT!!! AND JAY GRABS NEMESIS AND SENDS HIS LIMP BODY OUT OF THE RING!
Announcer: Nemesis has been eliminated!
HBG: Now Dubian springs onto the ropes, SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK on Jaywalker. Dub attacks Jacob Senn now and tries to get him out of the ring, and Ryan Savage targets Eddie Mack, while DEDEDE, Hades and Jaywalker are temporarily down here.. Hades has got some blood trickling down his face from that guitar, and look at SENN, DUB ALMOST HAS SENN UP AND OVER, BUT SENN COUNTERS WITH AN ARMDRAG SENDING DUBIAN OVER TO THE APRON! Senn rising on the apron as well… Eddie Mack nails the SNAKEEYES sending Ryan Savage face first into the top of the ringpost. Jaywalker rises up now and gets a double-legged snatch attempting to send Mack to the outside… he’s fighting it… and UP COMES HADES WITH THE RUNNING BOOT TO THE FACE, KNOCKING EDDIE MACK OUTTA HERE!
Announcer: Eddie Mack has been eliminated!
Mak: Decapitating boot from Hades does the damn thing.. Hades now going after Jaywalker bringing him to the corner and attempting to lift him, but Jay’s fighting off with elbows. Jacob Senn and Dubian are exchanging kicks on the apron! KICK to the side from Dub, KICK from Senn, KICK from Dub, from Senn! Dub! Senn! Dub– Senn catches it, LEG-WHIP SENDING DUB TO THE APRON, AND A JUMPING DOUBLE STOP INTO THE CHEST! Dub drops to the ringside floor, he’s out!
Announcer: Devan Dubian has been eliminated!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4….3….2….1…. BUZZ!!!!
( The King of Fighters XI – “Joker” hits as Aleks Cole runs out to the ring )
HBG: Some young nobody from NEO or something.. but he sure looks excited! This is your first ever GR, kid, better make it count! Aleks Cole running in. PICTURE PERFECT dropkick to the chest of Ryan Savage. He ges Hades’ attention, LEAPING ELBOW taking down Hades. RUNNING CLOTHESLINE taking down DDD, CORNER CLOTHESLINE TO JAYWALKER.. AND HE COMES OUT OF THE CORNER WITH A BULLDOG! Now look at Jacob Senn, he springboards off the apron for the SPRINGBOARD CORKSCREW CROSSBODY! And Senn sits in the ring angrily relishing in his attack, as Senn rushes back up and grab Aleks Cole and takes him to the corner.. but Cole stops with his boot, hits an elbow square in the jaw and stands over him in the corner connecting the corner punches, as the crowd counts along!
Crowd: 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7!
Mak: Here comes DDD.. he runs to the corner and hits the SPEAR INTO JACOB SENN’S SPINE! And Aleks pulls Senn from that position sending him FRONT-FLIPPING DOWN THE TURNBUCKLE SENDING HIM TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING ……. NO WAIT, BUT LOOK, SENN LANDS ON THE TOP OF THE STEEL STEPS! SENN IS STILL IN THIS! DEDEDE delivers a shot to the face of Aleks Cole, Aleks Cole fires back.. and DEDEDE hits a knife-edged chop into Cole’s chest.. here comes Jaywalker now, aiding DEDEDE with the CHOP, DEDEDE WITH THE CHOP, JAY, DDD, JAY, DDD, TWO OF EAW’S BIGGEST LEGENDS DISHING THIS POOR RUNT A NICE PLATE OF CHOPS… DOUBLE THUMB TO THE EYE OF JAY AND DDD! And he grabs both of their heads and gets up to the top turnbuckle looking for a DOUBLE TORNADO DDT FROM THE TOP… BUT RYAN SAVAGE RUNS UP DDD AND JAYS BACKS AND HITS A HURRICANRANA FROM THE TOP ROPE …… BUT JACOB SENN FROM THE STEEL STEPS BEHIND THAT TURNBUCKLE LEAPS UP TO THE TOP FOR A SUNSET FLIP NECKBREAKER ON RYAN SAVAGE!! AND DOUBLE TOP ROPE DDT FROM ALEKS COLE ONTO DDD AND JAY!
HBG: HOOLYYY MOOLYYYY! Hades looking on certainly surprised, but he goes right to work grabbing Aleks Cole and taking him to the corner, and is absolutely boxing him up with those punches. four rights, three lefts, a couple jabs and a hook and he whips Cole across the ring.. Cole counters the whip and Cole runs towards Hades with the CORNER CLOTHESLINE.. AND IN COMES SENN WITH THE RUNNING LEG LARIAT INTO THE FACE! No, Hades ducks that and is attempting to counter with the POWERBOMB.. BUT SENN SWITCHES TO THE APRON, HANGING UPSIDE DOWN LOOKING TO COUNTER WITH THE HURRICANRANA TO THE OUTSIDE.
10….9….8….7….6….5….4….3….2….1…. BUZZ!!!!
( “Rumors” by Lindsay Lohan hits as Cameron Ella Ava rushes out to the ring )
Mak: Oh boy! And what do you know, Cameron Ella Ava arrives! She has just changed the complexion of this entire match! And she’s the lucky number 13! Cameron enters the ring…
( Jaywalker is on one knee staring at Cameron )
Mak: I think Jaywalker’s got some business to settle! We know his luck with women, this should be fun to see! Ryan Savage is just recovering from that grueling powerbomb.. and there’s an ENZIGURI INTO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD FROM CAMERON. Mr. DEDEDE’s just risen back up.. DROPKICK sending DEDEDE stumbling to a seated position. And now as Senn and Hades struggle, Aleks Cole approaches her… and Cameron with a kick to the shin, and a low dropkick sending him down, and is wrenching him in for a headlock attempting to send him to the outside of the ring, as Jay is looking on…. Cameron about to send Aleks Cole out for a loop, but Aleks SHOVES Cameron to the ground. Cameron rises, Aleks rushes, ARM-WHIP TAKEDOWN. Aleks rushes back up, ARM-WHIP on Cameron. Cameron up, and Aleks backs her against the ropes.. and is lifting her over trying to send her to the outside, as Cameron is firing back with elbows.
HBG: While Jay stares at Cameron, DEDEDE and Ryan Savage are now up and exchanging blows, with Ryan sending shoulders into the midsection at the corner. Jacob Senn has an upside down head-scissors on Hades, which has brought Hades to the apron and now Jaywalker seems to be sliding under the rope, exiting the ring while Cameron is on the apron, and Aleks Cole is trying to send her out… Cameron DUCKS DOWN AND HITS A LOW BLOW ON ALEKS, AND DRAGS HIM DOWN ATTEMPTING TO PULL HIM OUT OF THE RING, but Aleks rips himself away. Cameron rushes to the top rope and hits a CROSSBODY ON ALEKS… BUT ALEKS COLE CATCHES HER…….. WHAAAM, IN COMES JAYWALKER WITH A BEER BOTTLE SMASHED OVER HIS HEAD! ALEKS COLE TAKEN DOWN, AND LOOK AT JAY!
( Jaywalker is standing over Cameron with a broken beer bottle, as Cameron on the ground slides away in fear )
Mak: HE’S GOT SOME EEEEEVIL INTENTIONS… OH MY GOD, JAY GRABS CAMERON BY HIS HAIR AND PULLS HER UP… LOW BLOW ON JAY, BUT JAY CATCHES THE LEG AND SHOVES HER TO THE CORNER! JAY HITS SEVERAL PUNCHES INTO THE RIBS, AND IS TEE’ING OFF INTO CAMERONS RIBS AS CAMERON IS WINCEING IN PAIN.. AND TOSSES HER OUT OF THE RING!
Announcer: Cameron has been eliminated!
Mak: Jay’s eliminated Cameron quickly and brutally, and Jay slides under the ropes to the outside… He’s going after Cameron some more… and he’s GOT LOOK, A BROKEN BEER BOTTLE IN HIS HAND, AS HE DRAGS CAMERON UP TO HER FEET AND LEANS HER BACK ON THE RING POST, PRESSING HIS FOREARM ONTO HER FACE, EXPOSING HER NECK! JAY’S GOT THAT BROKEN BOTTLE RIGHT TO HER FACE, BRUSHING HER HAIR WITH A SINISTER LOOK IN HIS EYE! HE’S NOT GONNA DO IT, HE DOESN’T HAVE THE BALLS!
HBG: HE’S NOT GONNA DO IT!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4… 3… 2… 1….. BUZZZ!!!
Jaywalker: I HAVE TO DO THIS CAM.. I CAN’T LET YOUR CAREER GO ON ANYMORE!
( “Blood On The Leaves” by Kanye West hits )
( Jaywalker stops in his tracks as Cameron drops to the ground and looks on in shock )
HBG: HOLY SHIT!
( HBB jets down the ramp and immediately leaps onto Jay and connects lightning fast punches as both Jay and HBB are brawling on the ground )
Mak: HBB LEAPS WITH FURY ACROSS RINGSIDE AND IS LETTING JAY HAVE IT! HE’S LETTING JAY ABSOLUTELY HAVE IT! JAY IS BREAKING AWAY AS HE SLIDES INTO THE RING, AND HBB FOLLOWS HIM AS HBB CONTINUES THE ASSAULT!!! JAYWALKER TRIED TO SLIT CAMERON’S THROAT, AND JUST AS HE WAS ABOUT TO DO IT HBB COMES IN FOR THE SAVE! JAY IS BACKED UP ON THE ROPES WITH A BUSTED NOSE AND EYES IN SHOCK, AND HBB HITS THE GOLDPRINT SENDING JAY OVER THE ROPES AND DROPPING TO THE OUTSIDE!!! JAY STUMBLES TO THE GROUND AND RISES UP LEANED ON THE BARRICADE WITH HIS FACE BUSTED OPEN… AND HBB SPRINTS AND LEAPS OVER THE ROPES WITH A PLANCHA SENDING BOTH MEN DOWN, AND
SENDING PUNCHES GALORE! HBB’S ABSOLUTELY LOST IT! HE’S MOVING QUICKER THAN I EVER EXPECTED SOMEONE HIS OLD AGE TO MOVE!
Announcer: HBB and Jaywalker are eliminated!
( Security surround HBB and rip him away from Jay as HBB heads towards Cameron, who’s down at ringside holding her ribs )
HBG: MAN that was crazy! What a freaking result! But in the mean time, Ryan Savage is going toe to toe with Ryan Adams as they’re in the middle of the ring exchanging punches; and Hades the Hellraiser is stumping at the cornered Jacob Senn after Hades gets the upperhand. Aleks Cole is recovering at the corner, bleeding from the back of the head following that BRUTAL bottle shot from Jaywalker. Savage hits repeated european uppercuts with the right arm, and a euro with the left– but DDD counters and wrenches that arm, going for the sitout half-nelson facebuster! He connects that, Ryan rolls on the ground and rises back up as DEDEDE PULLS HIM IN FOR THE GRAND SLAM… but Ryan counters with a chop block, SPINNING BACK FIST, LARIAT– DEDEDE ducks, HE hits a spinning backfist and hits a ROUNDHOUSE.. Ryan catches the leg, swings the leg, htits a shoot kick followed by a spinning backfist followed by a clothesline! Now Aleks Cole comes in and hits a running forearm taking Savage down, and now Cole attempts to send Savage out of the ring.
10….9….8….7….6….5….4… 3… 2… 1….. BUZZZ!!!
( “Beast” by Nico Vega hits as Lucian Black comes out with a large steel chain equipped, and enters the ring )
Mak: HEERE COMES ANOTHER DYNASTY LACKEY! I’m sure he thinks he’s so tough because he’s got a chain.. he’s entered the ring and SWINGS THE CHAIN OVER THE HEAD OF ALEKS COLE, and DEDEDE’s at the corner.. RUNNING SUPERMAN PUNCH WITH THE CHAIN WRAPPED AROUND HIS FIST!! DEDEDE NEARLY KNOCKED OVER THE ROPES WITH THAT FIST! Hades is up and begins boxing up Lucian, and LUCIAN SWINGS WITH THAT CHAIN-WRAPPED FIST, but Hades ducks and attempts to hit a CHOKESLAM… BUT THERE’S A PUNCH WHILE BEING HELD IN MID AIR! Hades stumbles back in the ropes, and Lucian is now wrapping both of Hades’ feet together with the chain…. and HE’S GOT HIS FEET CHAINED UP! LUCIAN GONNA SEND HIM TO THE OUTSIDE AND THERE’S NOTHING HADES CAN DO ABOUT IT!
HBG: Hades is countering with some punches, and Lucian backs away as Hades drags his way to the corner… Lucian runs for Hades, but HADES LIFTS HIS LEGS AS THE CHAIN KNOCKS ACROSS HIS FACE. But here comes JACOB SENN WITH THE CORNER LEG LARIAT, FINALLY CONNECTING ON HADES. Hades is down and Senn goes right to Aleks Cole as both guys attempt to send Aleks Cole out of the ring after Ryan Savage turned the tables… it’s a two on one with both legs propped up, Senn and Savage working together, as the next man is coming in!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4… 3… 2… 1….. BUZZZ!!!
( “I Dare You” by Shinedown hits as Terry Chambers speedily rushes to the ring )
Mak: The 6’6 Terry Crews — I mean Terry Chambers rushing right out here now and it attracts the attention of Savage, and CHAMBERS DUCKS AND LIFTS SAVAGE WITH A POWERSLAM! Chambers takes Senn to the corner and sends an ONSLAUGHT over shoulders to the midsection! And he whips him across the ring to the corner Hades is leaned in… and a RUNNING SPEAR INTO BOTH HADES AND SENN- but Hades literally hops out of the way and hits a DROPKICK taking Terry Chambers down. Now Lucian Black is working on Mr. DEDEDE, bringing DEDEDE over the ropes, but DEDEDE drops to the apron and hits a shoulder to the midsection as DEDEDE gets up to the top rope… and hits a DIVING SENTON BRINGING LUCIAN DOWN … BUT LUCIAN DODGES AS DEDEDE HITS THE MAT, AND ALEKS COLE HITS A RUNNING KNEE INTO DEDEDE’S FACE! BUT LUCIAN CHARGES OUT OF THE GATE FOR THE SPEAR!! SPEAR ON ALEKS COLE, SENDING HIM ABSOLUTELY INSIDE OUT! THAT WAS RIDICULOUS Lucian stalks Hades who’s freed himself from the chains and is back to his feet… SPEAR ON HADES— HADES COUNTERS WRAPPING THAT CHAIN AROUND LUCIAN AND HITTING A GUILLOTINE HOLD WITH THE CHAIN! NOW HE DROPS THE NECKBREAKER!
HBG: Ryan Savage runs to Hades with a big boot and he’s attempting to get HTH out of here, but Hades hits a few shots, props Savage up for a big Chokeslam!! And JACOB SENN JUMPS ONTO THE ROPES AND HITS A SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK, SENDING HADES DOWN! Senn now grabs the big Terry Chambers and is leaning him towards the ropes and is delivering sharp kicks, as Chambers can’t handle much more! Chambers with a shot, Senn ducks, KICK to the ribs and a SUPERKICK as Chambers is leaned back on the ropes.. Ryan Savage accompanies Senn as he and Senn are working on sending the big man out of the ring!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4… 3… 2… 1….. BUZZZ!!!
( Fire shoots up from the side of the stage as the arena turns red and HRDO’s theme hits )
HBG: NO WAY!!!!
Mak: COULD IT BE???
( Striker Jensen walks out to the ring in HRDO’s mask, wearing HRDO’s ring gear with an assless-chaps version of his tights as he walks to the ring. )
Mak: WOW IT’S A MIRACLE, HRDO IS BACK! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT HBG?
HBG: Uhh..
( Striker raises both hands and drops them as flames shoot up from all four turnbuckles )
Mak: LOOK, HE CAN EVEN MAGICALLY MAKE FIRE APPEAR FROM OUT OF NOWHERE! IT’S REALLY HIM!
( Striker steps into the ring )
HBG: LOOK OUT DEDEDE’S GOT A HOLD OF THE EQUALIZER…. AND SMASHES IT OVER STRIKER JENSEN’S HEAD!!!! STRIKER FALLS BACK OVER THE ROPES TO THE OUTSIDE WITH THUMBTACKS, NAILS, GLASS AND BLOOD SPLATTERING EVERYWHERE!
Announcer: Striker Jensen is eliminated!
Mak: And the DDD vs. HRDO rivalry continues!
HBG: THAT HAD TO BE THREE SECONDS! THREE SECONDS IN THE RING, THIS MIGHT JUST BE A NEW GRAND RAMPAGE RECORD!
Mak: A lot cooler than the last guy who had that record! .. Anywho, Chambers has battled off both a weary Jacob Senn and Ryan Savage and has entered the ring with a 10 foot tall ladder, after momentarily sliding out to retrieve one. Now Chamber sit both Senn and Savage up at the top turnbuckle, and he’s got a ladder and RUNS IT INTO BOTH MEN, PARTICULARLY SAVAGE EATING THE LADDER SHOTS, ATTEMPTING TO BATTERING RAM BOTH MEN OUT OF THIS GRAND RAMPAGE MATCH! Meanwhile DDD has targeted Lucian Black and Aleks Cole is going after Hades The Hellraiser. Who is our next contestant, in the SEVENTH EVER GRAND RAMPAGE?
10….9….8….7….6….5….4… 3… 2… 1….. BUZZZ!!!
( “Street Dreams” – Hollywood Undead hits as GI Styles runs out to the ring )
HBG: Here comes GGG IIII STYYYYLES as he springs to the ring and joins Aleks Cole’s mission of eliminating Hades! And JESUS LOOK, RYAN SAVAGE IS BLEEDING OUT OF HIS CHEST AFTER THE 5TH BATTERING RAM LADDER SHOT, HE CANT TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS… AND TERRY CHAMBERS GOES FOR THE 6TH LADDER SHOT… BUT SENN LEAPS OVER RYAN SAVAGE FOR A DOUBLE FOOT STOMP INTO THE LADDER, SENDING THE OTHER END OF IT CRACKING INTO TERRY CHAMBER’S JAW, AND A TOOTH COMES FLYING OUT OF HIS MOUTH! Savage collapses to the canvas and Senn grabs Terry Chamber’s arms.. leaps onto the ropes and hits an ARMDRAG TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING. NO, TERRY PULLS SENN IN AND COUNTERS WITH A SPINNING SIDE SLAM!
Mak: The Young Lions Cup holder having a very good showing here tonight. Hades hits an elbow into GI’s skull, grabs both GI and Aleks’ skull and CONKS them together.. and Hades connects a SIDEWALK SLAM on GI Styles! DEDEDE is stood at the corner tee’ing punches into Lucian Black, and Lucian pushes DEDEDE up… but now DEDEDE is literally standing on the ring ropes and is going for a TORNADO DDT. But Lucian catches him and TOSSES HIM across the ring! Now Aleks grabs Lucian for the REVERSE STO, BUT LUCIAN COUNTERS FOR THE URINAGI! And Lucian is stirring, Mr. DEDEDE is stirring after the fallaway slam and Terry Chambers is stirring… now DEDEDE has his sights set on a hurt Jacob Senn who’s rising back up.. he wants the spear… and LOOK AT THIS, WHILE DEDEDE CHARGES ACROSS THE RING, TERRY CHAMBERS AND LUCIAN BLACK CHARGES TOWARDS EACH OTHER AS DEDEDE, CHAMBERS AND LUCIAN CONK THEIR HEADS FOR THE SPEAR!!!!! THREE-WAY COLLISION! HAHAHA, WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING YOU FREAKING IDIOTS!
HBG: Now Hades goes back over to GI, wraps the hand around his throat and HADES SENDS GI OVER THE ROPES FOR THE CHOKESLAM!
Announcer: GI Styles is eliminated!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4… 3… 2… 1….. BUZZZ!!!
( “Beautiful Pain” – Eminem ft Sia hits as Xavier Williams rushes out to the ring full of excitement )
HBG: Entry number 19 is XAVIER WILLIAMS, another member of Demon’s Council who speeds into the ring and goes right to work on Hades! Hades has been a big target here, and in the ring DDD, Terry and Lucian are all down, Aleks Cole is attempting to send Jacob Senn out of the ring and Ryan Savage breaks up the fight with X-Will and Hades.. Ryan meets Xavier Williams as they break out into a fist fight! But plain and simple, Xavier is just fresher in this match up and he’s got Savage backed in the corner, but Savage is responding with forearms as they’re REALLY taking it to each other!
Mak: That’s great, but look, Jacob Senn is literally being hung upside down and Aleks DROPKICKS JACOBS LEGS… BUT ONLY ONE FOOT OF JACOB HITS THE FLOOR, SENN SKINS THE CAT AND GOES FOR THE HURRICANRANA, AS ALEKS COLE IS ABOUT TO BE SENT OVEEERRR… ANDDDD… HE DOES! ALEKS COLE FALLS TO RINGSIDE! THANKS FOR COMING!
Announcer: Aleks Cole has been eliminated!
HBG: Kudos to this young man, he definitely took his lumps in this match and worked his butt off! Jacob Senn gets right back on to Hades while Lucian Black and Terry Chambers are exchanging punches.. DEDEDE’s still down after that huge three-spear collision. Lucian pulls Chambers up and has him seated on the ring ropes, and has neutralized his balance that way as Lucian is pushing hom out of the ring… but Chambers fires back with a european uppercut! Hades the Hellraiser and Jacob Senn re-engage their fist fight, but Senn has in a front-waistlock and takes him to the corner, and Senn backs up and runs towards Hades.. HADES LIFTS THE BIG BOOT, BUT SENN DUCKS THAT AND SWINGS HADES’ BOOT TO THE ROPES AS SENN HITS THE PELE KICK! HE GOT HADES GOOD WITH THAT ONE, AS OUR 20TH CONTESTANT IS SET TO ARRIVE!
10….9….8….7….6….5….4… 3… 2… 1….. BUZZZ!!!
( Red laser like lights begin to dart around the stadium as the words ”Lethal Gang” appear on the titan-tron.. )
Mak: UHHHHH… OHHHHHH…..
( Lethal Consequences rises from the stage holding up a black guitar with his shades on with the lasers dancing around the arena )
HBG: IT’S LC!!!! LC AFTER A GAZILLION YEARS IS BACK!!
Mak: SHIT’S GOTTEN REAL NOW! LC ENTERS THE RING WITH HIS BLACK GUITAR….. AND JACOB SENN ASSAULTS LC, BUT LC SHIFTS OUT OF THE WAY AND BASHES THAT GUITAR OVER JACOB SENN’S SKULL!!! AND LOOK, DDDD CHARGES TOWARD LC…. BUT LC COUNTERS WITH THE NO CAL PUNCH TO THE CROTCH, AND CONNECTS THE ACID REIGN!!! CUTTER ON DDD! CUTTER ON DDD! AND LETHAL CONSEQUENCES TAUNTS TO THE CROWD, LC IS BACK AND IN BUSINESS! LC GRABS RYAN AND THROWS HIM OUT OF THE RING!
Announcer; Ryan Savage eliminated!
HBG: Lethal Gang is back in business—-NO!!! Terry Chambers from behind!!! Terry Chambers grabs Lethal Consequences and whips him into the corner, Chambers now going to work on Lethal Consequences with several blows into him …On the other side of the ring, Hades grabs DEDEDE and LOOKS TO QUICKLY ELIMINATE HIM!!! DEDEDE IS THROWN OVER THE TOP ROPE BY HADES THE HELLRAISER!!!! BUT NO!! DEDEDE LANDS ON THE APRON, DEDEDE SURVIVING BARELY AS HADES CHARGES AND LOOK FOR THE BIG BOOT!! DEDEDE SIDE-STEPS IT AND GRABS HADES LEG – CONNECTING WITH A DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP ON HADES!! THE LEG OF HADES SLASHING INTO THE TOP ROPE!!! Hades goes down as DEDEDE crawls back into the ring, Terry Chambers now grabs LC and PULLS HIM IN FOR A SUPLEX OUTTA THE CORNER!!! BUT LC KICKS HIM IN THE MID-SECTION AND HEADBUTTS CHAMBERS RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES, CAUSING CHAMBERS TO STUMBLE BACKWARDS AS LC FLOORS HIM WITH A RUNNING CLOTHESLINE!!
Mak: Williams THOUGH FROM BEHIND WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK INTO LETHAL CONSEQUENCES BACK!! LC falls to the ropes as Williams charges for a CLOTHESLINE AND ELIMINATING LC!! BUT LC WITH AN ELBOW TO WILLIAMS AND CONNECTS WITH THE ACID REIGN!!! ACID REIGN INTO WILLIAMS!!!!
10….9…..8…..7…..6…..5…..4…..3…..2…..1 …BUZZZZZZZZ
( ‘’The Tragic Truth’’ by Five Finger Death Punch plays as Wraith makes his way down to the ring )
HBG: WHAT!?!??!!? WRAITH – FORMERLY KEVIN DEVASTATION- IS BACK!?!?! I THOUGHT, I THOUGHT CY HENDERSON GOT RID OF HIM!!
Mak: I think I speak for everybody when I say (ill)…
HBG: Wraith enters the ring and QUICKLY goes after LC, striking him down a HUGE fist! LC down and Wraith is scanning the ring but BLACK IS UP ON HIS FEET AND CHARGES AT WRAITH, BOTH MEN STRIKING HUGE FISTS AT EACH OTHER, LEFTS, RIGHTS, THIS IS FULL ON!! Senn is up to his feet, as Hades is getting up but Senn CHARGES AT HADES, LOOKING FOR A SNEAK ELIMINATION!! BUT HADES GRABS JACOB BY THE THROAT!!! UH-OH!!!! HADES LOOKING FOR A CHOKESLAM OUT OF THE RING!!!!!! BUT JACOB POKES HADES IN THE EYES, SAVING HIMSELF AS HE COMES BACK WITH A TORNADO DDT!!! PLANTING HADES INTO THE MAT!!! Senn gets onto his knees and up onto his feet, LC coming at Senn but Senn stopping him, Senn claiming he injured his knee coming down from that DDT, he’s calling for a referee to help ….uh??
Mak: Look at this bitchboy, Senn limping here as LC looks confused but shrugs, LC was going to try and eliminate Senn but he’s apparently injured and this might be it for Senn in the Grand Rampage match …WAIT, SENN SPRINGS UP TO HIS FEET, CHARGING AND GRABS LC FROM BEHIND, DUMPING HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE AND OUT OF THE RING!!! WHAT THE???
Announcer: Lethal Consequences has been eliminated!
HBG: AHAHAHAHAAH, SENN FAKED AN INJURY AND ELIMINATED LC, HE AVOIDED LC ELIMINATING HIM!! SMART, SMART THINKING BY JACOB SENN!! Senn smirks and laughs at LC, Senn wasn’t injured at all as Wraith BIG BOOTS LUCIAN BLACK INTO THE ROPES, WRAITH COMES CHAGING AT BLACK BUT BLACK WITH A BIGTIME SPEAR INTO WRAITH!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! BLACK WIPES WRAITH OUT AND BLACK LIFTS UP WRAITH AND DUMPS HIM OUT OF THE RING, THANKS FOR COMING!!!
Announcer: Wraith has been eliminated!
10 …..9 ….8…..7…..6….5…4……3….2…..1…. BUZZZ!!!!
( ‘’Born in the USA’’ by Bruce Springsteen plays through the building as Starr-Stan jogs out )
Mak: HERE COMES THE GUY I EASILY FUCKED OVER A FEW YEARS AGO AT GRAND RAMPAGE!!! Starr enters the ring, and quickly goes to work on Williams, sending uppercuts into him, DEDEDE spins Starr around BUT STARR BLOCKS HIS FIST AND UPPERCUTS DEDEDE, PULLING HIM IN FOR A OVERHEAD BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX!!! DEDEDE GOES DOWN, LUCIAN POUNCES ON STARR!!! SEVERAL FISTS BY LUCIAN, IRISH WHIP BUT STARR COUNTERS IT AND CONNECTS WITH A SECOND BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX!!!! STARR MOVING WITH THE IMPRESSIVENESS OF A SIXTY-FOUR YEAR OLD MAN, HE’S CLEANING HOUSE BUT HADES SPINS STARR AROUND – BIG BOOT INTO STARR!!! STARR HITS THE MAT!! Terry Chambers is up and pounces on Hades, Hades is slumped into the ropes as TERRY CHAMBERS IS LIFTING HADES OVER THE TOP ROPE, SHOCK OF THE CENTRUY COMING UP?!!??!!
HBG: NO!!! HADES HAMMERS TERRY WITH AN ELBOW AND TERRY STAGGERS AS HADES GRABS HIM AND PULLS HIM IN!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! HADES CHOKESLAMS TERRY CHAMBERS OUT OF THE RING!!!!!! TERRY CHAMBERS JUST GOT FUCKING CHOKESLAMMED OUT OF THE RING!!!!!
Announcer: Terry Chambers has been eliminated!
Mak: Thanks for coming, use more steroids next time! …Lucian back onto his feet and HAMMERS HADES WITH FISTS!!! HADES STUMBLES AS LUCIAN CHARGES FOR A SPEAR!!!!! BUT HADES SIDE-STEPS IT AS LUCIAN CRASHES INTO THE CORNER, HADES NOW CHARGING AT HIM WITH A RUNNING CLOTHESLINE, SQUASHING LUCIAN!!! LUCIAN STAGGERS OUT AS HADES LOOKS FOR THE RUNNING CLOTHESLINE ON LUCIAN BUT BOOM!!!! MOMENT OF SILENCE BY WILLIAMS ON HADES!!!! Hades stays on his feet but Lucian and Williams now corner Hades, the two Demon Council members attacking Hades here in the corner, he’s being killed by emo clown members!
HBG: Senn and DEDEDE now exchanging fists in the middle of the ring, lefts by Senn, rights by DEDEDE, Senn whips DEDEDE off the ropes but DEDEDE comes flying back with a CROSSBODY!! But Senn REMARKABLY LEAPS UP IN MID-AIR WHILE DEDEDE DID AND COUNTERS DEDEDE’S CROSSBODY WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK!!! DEDEDE down and Senn pounces on him, sending fists into him as Williams and Lucian DOUBLE SUPLEX HADES THE HELLRAISER INTO THE MAT!! Hades is down, The Demon Council getting the work in and for some odd reason ONLY focusing on beating down Hades when they could be going after Senn/DEDEDE now …Oh well, Black perches in the corner, looking for the spear on Hades ….
10…..9…..8…..7….6…..5…..4….3….2 …1 ….BUZZZZZZ
( ‘’Crash’’ by Decfyer Down plays as Zack Crash races down to the ring )
Mak: NUMBER 23 IS ZACKARY CRASHINGTON, COULDN’T BEAT WILLIAMS BUT MAYBE HE CAN BEAT THESE SQUARES! ….And Lucian and Williams instantly change their target, going for Crash who is battling both men, Hades is getting up and CRASH/HADES BATTLING WILLIAMS/BLACK, ALL FOUR MEN TRADING SHOTS, BUT CRASH KNEES WILLIAMS IN THE MID-SECTION, AND LAUNCHES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE AND OUT OF THE RING!!! HE’S GONE, HADES BIG BOOTS LUCIAN INTO THE ROPES AND CHARGES, CLOTHESLINING LUCIAN BLACK OUT OF THE RING, HAHAA THEY GONE! THEY GONE BACK TO THE CIRCUS!
Announcer: Xavier Williams and Lucian Black HAVE been eliminated!
HBG: Hades and Crash look at each other, staring each other down and looking at that PFP logo, BUT JACOB SENN FROM BEHIND ATTACKS CRASH!!! JACOB SENN QUICKLY STOMPING INTO CRASH, THE HATRED FOR THIS IS UNREAL, JACOB SENDING SEVERAL STOMPS INTO HIM!! JACOB SENN LIFTS CRASH UP AND QUICKLY TRIES ELIMINATING HIM BUT CRASH BLOCKS IT, SENDING AN ELBOW INTO SENNS FACE!!! Senn stumbles as Crash corners him, sending shots into him, Starr grabs Hades and LOOKS FOR THE OLYMPIC SLAM ON HADES!!!! BUT HADES BLOCKS, ELBOWS INTO STARR WHO STAGGERS BACK AND HADES GRABS STARR, THROWING HIM WITH FORCE OUT OF THE RING!!!
Announcer: Starr-Stan has been eliminated!
Mak: Hades in Grand Rampage matches is like Kobe Bryant in a hotel room in Colorado, unstoppable! ….DEDEDE is up and Hades spots him, Hades with a HUGE Haymaker into DEDEDE! And ANOTHER! And Another! Hades rears back looking for ANOTHER one but DEDEDE ducks and hits off the ropes – LEAPING CLOTHESLINE BY DEDEDE INTO HADES!!! HADES STUMBLES INTO THE ROPES AS DEDEDE LOOKS FOR A SECOND CLOTHESLINE BUT HADES WITH A BACKBODY DROP ON DEDEDE!!! DEDEDE SENT OVER THE TOP ROPE AND LANDS ON THE APRON, OH SOO CLOSE AGAIN, DDD BARELY HANGING ON AGAIN ….HADES WITH STOMPS INTO DEDEDE, TRYING TO KNOCK HIM OFF THE APRON!!
10 …..9 ….8 ..7….6….5….4…3 …2….1…. BUZZZZZZZ!!!!
( ‘’Bulls on Parade’’ by Rage Against The Machine plays as Johnny Ventura comes out )
HBG: HERE COMES LAST YEARS WINNER JOHNNY V AT NUMBER 24! Ventura strolls in casually as he sees Crash and Senn brawling in the corner and CHARGES AT BOTH MEN WITH A RUNNING MISSILE DROPKICK INTO BOTH CRASH/SENN!! BOTH CRASH AND SENN STAGGER OUT OF THE CORNER AS VENTURA HITS A BULLDOG ON BOTH MEN!!! Ventura stands up and grabs both Senn and Crash DUMPING OVER THE TOP ROPE BUT THEY LAND ON THE APRON …VENTURA DOESN’T KNOW THAT!! DDD ROLLS IN BUT VENTURA CHARGES IN AT HADES/DDD AND CLOTHESLINES BOTH MEN BACK OVER THE TOP ROPE AND DOWN ONTO THE APRON!!! VENTURA IS SMIRKING, I THINK, I THINK VENTURA ACTUALLY BELIEVES HE ELIMINATED ALL OF THEM!! HE’S DOING A LAP OF VICTORY AROUND THE RING!
Johnny Ventura: THIS IS SOOOO EASY!! 2 YEARS IN A ROW GONNA A PIECE OF CAKE!
Mak: DEDEDE rolls back in though and VENTURA SPINS AROUND — SPEAR!!!! SPEAR BY DEDEDE ONTO VENTURA, VENTURA ROLLS AWAY THOUGH!!! Crash rolls back in, attacking DEDEDE and pulls him in for the CRASH TEST!!! KILLSWITCH!!! NO!!!! DEDEDE SHOVES CRASH AWAY INTO THE CORNER, DEDEDE CHARGING FOR A CORNER CLOTHESLINE BUT CRASH WITH A FLAPJACK!!! CRASH FLAPJACKED DEDEDE FACE FIRST INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!!! DEDEDE STAGGERS OUT OF THE CORNER AS CRASH CHARGES FOR A CLOTHESLINE, DUCKED BY DEDEDE, CRASH SPINS AROUND — SPEAR BY DEDEDE!! NO!!! CRASH COUNTERS IT INTO A SPINNING NECKBREAKER!!!! CRASH COUNTERED THE SPEAR INTO A NECKBREAKER!!! DEDEDE IS DOWN, CRASH IS TRYING TO GET BACK UP BUT SENN WITH A SHINNING WIZARD INTO CRASH!!! CRASH IS DOWN!!!
10 …9 …..8 …..7 ….6 ….5 ….4 ….3 ….2 …1 ….BUZZZ
( ‘’I Think Bad Thoughts’’ by Danko James plays as Venom walks out with a beer bottle )
HBG: Number 25 is Venom! Venom slides into the ring and as Senn is getting up, VENOM SPITS THE BEER INTO SENNS EYES!!! SENN BLINDED AS VENOM CONNECTS WITH A SUPERKICK!!! SENN GOES DOWN!!! VENTURA BACK UP BUT VENOM HAMMERS HIM WITH FISTS, AND WHIPS VENTURA OFF THE ROPES AND VENTURA COMES BACK AND EATS A CLOTHESLINE BY VENOM!! Venom takes a huge sip of his beer BUT DEDEDE SMACKS VENOM RIGHT IN THE FACE!!! VENOM SPITS HIS BEER RIGHT OUTTA HIS MOUTH AS DEDEDE KICKS HIM IN THE MID-SECTION – DEDEDE DDT!!!! IT CONNECTS!!!! VENOM IS SENT DOWN INTO THE MAT!!! DEDEDE back up but HADES SWINGS HIM AROUND AND GRABS DEDEDE BY THE THROAT – DEDEDE HEADING TO CHOKESLAM CITY!!!! BUT DEDEDE LANDS ON HIS FEET BEHIND HADES, SHOVING HIM INTO THE ROPES AND DDD CHARGES BUT HADES BIG BOOTS DEDEDE!!!
Mak: DEDEDE STUMBLES BACKWARDS, HADES LOOKS FOR THE KILL BUT DDD GRABS VENOMS BEER BOTTLE AND SMASHES IT ACROSS HADES FACE!!!! HADES FALLS DOWN, HADES FINALLY DOWN OFF HIS FEET AS DEDEDE FALLS BACKWARDS …CRASH UP ON HIS FEET, PLANTS DEDEDE FROM BEHIND WITH A BULLDOG, RIGHT INTO THOSE BROKEN BEER SHARDS!!!!! OH DAYUM!!!!! DEDEDE AND Hades down, Crash getting back up but Ventura from behind WITH A BACK SUPLEX ON CRASH!!! SENDING CRASH RIGHT INTO THE MAT!! Ventura props back to his feet and CONNECTS WITH A STANDING MOONSAULT INTO ZACK CRASH!!! Ventura props back up, taunting the crowd, could he really make it two in a row?? Senn though spins Ventura around and KICKS HIM IN THE MID-SECTION — LIFTING HIM UP ONTO HIS SHOULDERS — DEATH VALLEY DRIVER CONNECTS!!!! SENN DRIVES VENTURA INTO THE MAT!!
10…..9…..8…..7…..6….5…..4….3…..2….1…. BUZZZZZZZZZZ
( ‘’No More Tears’’ by Ozzy Osbourne plays as Freakshow makes his way out here )
HBG: Some guy who looks like Legendary Sekaiichi from NEO is out next! Freakshow steps into the ring, Senn quickly grabs FREAKSHOW AND CONNECTS WITH THE JUDGEMENT CALL!!!! JUDGEMENT CALL INTO FREAKSHOW!!!FREAKSHOW ALREADY DOWN!!! Venom is getting to his feet, as Senn looks for the JUDGEMENT CALL ON VENOM!!! BUT VENOM LOW BLOWS SENN!!! SENN GETS LOW BLOWED!!! Venom springs up and grabs Senn by his head and LOOKS TO TOSS HIM OUT OF THE RING!!!! SENN GOES OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!!! SENN IS HANGING ONTO THE ROPES, ONE FOOT TOUCHING THE GROUND!!!!! ONLY ONE FOOT TOUCHED THE GROUND, HE’S STILL IN THIS!!! SENN IS SOMEHOW STILL IN THIS!!
Mak: Senn gets back into the ring, Venom now going towards Zack Crash, lifting him up and TRYING TO TOSS HIM OUT!!! BUT CRASH HANGS ON, KICKING VENOM IN THE FACE!! Venom stumbles backwards as Crash charges at him, taking him down with a clothesline but Ventura is up on the turnbuckle AND LEAPS OFF, JUMPING ONTO CRASHES SHOULDERS AND LOOKING FOR A HURRICARANA!!! NO!!! CRASH HOLDS ON AS WOW!!! LOOK AT THIS!!!! DEDEDE CHARGES FOR A SPEAR INTO CRASH!!!!! DDD SPEARS CRASH WHO REVERSE POWERBOMBS VENTURA!!!! WOW!!! DDD gets back to his feet but HADES GRABS DEDEDE AND LIFTS HIM INTO HIS ARMS — SIDEWALK SLAM CONNECTS!!!! DEDEDE DRIVEN INTO THE MAT BY HADES!!!
10…..9 …..8 ….7…..6…..5…..4…..3….2….1….BUZZZZZ!!!!
( ‘’Bring Me to Life’’ plays as Moonlight Predator walks out )
HBG: UGHHHHH another NEO extremist?? They really couldn’t just give ME the spot?? Anyway, Moonlight runs in and Hades FLOORS HIM WITH A HUGE HAYMAKER!!! Moonlight goes down, Hades grabs him and PULLS HIM IN!!!! BRIMSTONE PILEDRIVER CONNECTS!!! Hades back up, leaving Moonlight completely dazed as Venom is also up, Hades telling Venom to grab DEDEDE as Venom grabs DEDEDE and lifts him up and tosses him to Hades — WHO PULLS DEDEDE IN AND CONNECTS WITH THE BRIMSTONE PILEDRIVER!!!!! HADES DESTROYING DEDEDE HERE!!!! BUT VENTURA FROM BEHIND ATTACKS HADES, STOMPING INTO HIM!! SEVERAL STOMPS INTO HADES, VENOM THOUGH KICKS VENTURA IN THE MID-SECTION AND PULLS HIM IN!!! DDT!!! NO!!! VENTURA SLIPS OUT, CLOTHESLINE CONNECTING!!!! Venom down again …
Mak: Senn back up in the corner but Ventura charges at him AT SENN!!!! BUT SENN SUCKS UNDERNEATH IT AND CONNECTS WITH ANOTHER JUDGEMENT CALL!!!! VENTURA SLUMPS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND FALLS TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!!!! HE’S GONE!!!
Announcer: Johnny Ventura has been eliminated!
10…..9 …..8 …..7 …..6 …..5…..4….3….2….1 BUZZZ
( ‘’I Am The Welrus’’ by the Beatles plays as Norman Hellion walks out )
HBG: Oh Dayum! Here comes Norman at Number Twenty-Eight! Norman charges in and grabs Freakshow and THROWS HIM RIGHT OUT OF THE RING, HE’S GONE!!!! NORMAN ALREADY ELIMINATES SOMEBODY!!!
Announcer: Freakshow has been eliminated!
Mak: Damn this hillybilly is something, Norman now spots Moonlight Predator getting up and grabs Moonlight, dragging him by his head AND LIFTS HIM UP INTO THE AIR — PRESS SLAMMING MOONLIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE NAD TO THE GROUND!!!
Announcer: Moonlight Predator has been eliminated!
HBG: VENOM SPINS NORMAN AROUND THOUGH, INJECTION INTO NORMAN!!!! NORMAN JUST STANDS THERE PUZZLED AT VENOM AS VENOM LOOKS CONFUSED WHY HE ISN’T HURT!!! VENOM THROWS FISTS INTO NORMAN, BUT NORMAN HEADBUTTS VENOM AND THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE AND OUT TO THE FLOOR!
Announcer: Venom has been eliminated!
Mak: JESUS This guy is killing it, that’s THREE eliminations already! Norman Hellion now grabs Zack Crash and TRIES TO THROW HIM OUT OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! BUT CRASH LANDS ON HIS FEET ON THE APRON, NORMAN THROWS A PUNCH BUT CRASH DUCKS AND RAMS HIS SHOULDER INTO THE MID-SECTION OF NORMAN!! Norman stumbles backwards as Crash runs to the turnbuckle, quickly climbing up it as HE LEAPS OFF!! DROPKICK INTO NORMAN!! Norman finally off his feet as the clock is ticking down, who’s gonna be number twenty-nine??
**The lights go out as the countdown clock appears**
10…..9…..8 ….7….6….5….4…3….2….1….BUZZ
( ‘’Twisted Transistor’’ by Korn plays )
HBG: WHAT?!?!?!?!!?!!
Mak: YOU’RE FUCKING ME….
HBG: NO WAY! NO WAY! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
( The lights come back on as Y2Impact is shown on the top of the stage )
Mak: Y2IMPACT IS BACK!!! Y2IMPACT IS NUMBER TWENTY-NINE IN THE GRAND RAMPAGE!!! ANOTHER SURPRISE RETURN! I’M SHOCKED!!!! Imp is in the ring, picking the right target as Hades is getting up and IMP CHARGES – CODEBREAKER INTO HADES!!!! Y2IMPACT CODEBREAKERS HADES THE HELLRAISER!! Hades is down, Imp back up as Crash is getting up and IMPACT WITH THE CODEBREAKER TO ZACK CRASH!!!! CRASH WIPED OUT BY Y2IMPACT!!! I STILL DON’T BELIEVE THIS!! Norman Hellion is up and JUST LIKE THE LAST TWO – CODEBREAKER BY Y2IMPACT!!!!! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!!!! NORMAN IS DOWN!!!! NORMAN IS DOWN!!!!
HBG: Jacob Senn unaware Impact is here IS ALSO DROPPED WITH A CODEBREAKER!!! Y2IMPACT IS HANDING OUT CODEBREAKER LIKE ITS NOTHING!!! IMPACT LOOKS FOR DEDE—SPEAR!!!! SPEAR BY DEDEDE!!!!!! BUT NO!!!!! CODEBREAKER BY IMPACT!!! IMPACT TWISTED THE SPEAR INTO A CODEBREAKER!!! Y2IMPACT HAS TAKEN EVERYBODY OUT, NOBODY IS LEFT FOR HIM!! Y2Impact is smirking, this is unbelievable!
10 ……9 …..8 …..7 ….6…..5…..4…..3…..2……..1 BUZZZZZZ
( ‘’ “Lies” by Evanescence plays as Tyler Parker comes out with a glass Tri-force )
Mak: Tyler Parker the LAST entrant in this match, as he gets into the ring and comes FACE TO FACE WITH Y2IMPACT! Tyler and Impact actually shake hands but IMPACT SOCKS TYLER IN THE MOUTH!!! Tyler drops the tri-force and holds his mouth, Impact telling him to ‘’come on’’ but Tyler shakes his head, he’s refusing to face his mentor, his idol, Y2Impact despite what Impact wants! Impact with another shot and another, Tyler STILL refusing to hit Impact! Norman is getting to his feet as he ATTACKS IMPACT FROM BEHIND, PULLING IMPACT IN AND CONNECTING WITH A POWERBOMB!!!
HBG: TYLER THOUGH QUICKLY SMASHES THAT GLASS TRI-FORCE INTO NORMANS HEAD, GRABBING HIM BY THE HEAD AND DUMPS HIM OUT OF THE RING!!!!! TYLER PARKER JUST ELIMINATED NORMAN HELLION!!!!
Announcer: Norman Hellion has been eliminated!
Mak: Hades back up now though as BIG BOOTS TYLER FROM BEHIND!!! TYLER STUMBLES OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE APRON, AS HADES GRABS HIM BY THE THROAT, THIS TIME GOING TO CHOKESLAM PARKER OUT OF THE RING!!!! BUT TYLER HEADBUTTS HADES, STUMBLING HIM BACK WARDS AS CRASH FROM BEHIND CONNECTS WITH A PELE KICK INTO HADES!!! HADES STUMBLES INTO THE CORNER, TYLER IS STILL ON THE APRON AS IMPACT CHARGES AT HIM!!!!! BUT TYLER HOLDS DOWN THE ROPES AS IMP FLIES OVER IT AND CRASHES TO THE GROUND, WHAT!?!?!?!
Announcer: Y2Impact has been eliminated!
HBG: Tyler Parker eliminates Y2Impact without fighting him, Y2Impact seems pissed off Tyler wouldn’t fight him here as Tyler rolls back into the ring ….Whelp, it’s down to DEDEDE, Zack Crash, Jacob Senn, Hades The Hellraiser OR Tyler Parker, Crash grabs Parker and pulls him in!! STO!!!! NO!!! PARKER WITH FISTS INTO CRASH!!! CRASH STUMBLES BACK AS DEDEDE OUTTA NOWHERE SPEARS CRASH!!!! CRASH IS DOWN!!!!! CRASH IS DOWN!!!!! DEDEDE rolls out of harms way, what a night it’s been for him, Parker is up as Senn SPINS PARKER AROUND, KICK TO THE MID-SECTION AND LAUNCHES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE BUT TYLER HANGS, WRAPPING HIS LEGS AROUND THE HEAD OF SENN AND HEAD SCISSOR LOCKS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!! SENN HITS THE FLOOR!!! JACOB SENN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!!
Announcer: Jacob Senn has been eliminated!
Mak: Down to FOUR now, Tyler still on the apron but DEDEDE is up, Tyler SPRINGBOARDS TO THE TOP ROPE AND LAUNCHES HIMSELF AT DEDEDE!!!! SPINEBUSTER BY DEDEDE!! DEDEDE CUAGHT TYLER AND CONNECTED WITH THE SPINEBUSTER!!!! BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY!!! DEDEDE KIPS UP AND LOOKS AT TYLER, UH-OHHH!!!!! DEDEDE IS FEELING IT HERE, DEDEDE RIPS OFF ONE OF HIS ELBOW PADS AND HITS OFF THE ROPES, THE MOST ELECTRFIYING MOVE IN E-FEDS AND TITAN SPORTS ….THE BOTTO—-CRASH CONNECTS WITH A SHINNING WIZARD INTO DEDEDE!!!!! THAT STOPPED THE MOVE!!! DEDEDE DOWN!!! TYLER DOWN!!! CRASH ON HIS KNE—-
**Lights go out**
HBG: OH now what???
Mak: I knew your Asian family shouldn’t have been put in charge of lightning ….
**Lights come back on to see the entire Demons Council in the ring, looking at Crash on one knee**
HBG: Looks like we got trouble ….
**Demon nods as Lucian, Mack, Williams pounce on Crash**
Mak: IT’S A THREE ON ONE ASSAULT ON ZACK CRASH HERE!!! THREE ON ONE ASSAULT AS THEY ALL TARGET CRASH, STOMPING AWAY ON HIM AND HE’S DEFENCELESS, CRASH CAN’T DEFEND HIMSELF!!!! MACK LIFTS CRASH UP AND WILLIAMS CONNECTS WITH THE MOMENT OF SILENCE!!!! MOMENT OF SILENCE INTO CRASH — AS BLACK FOLLOWS IT UP WITH A SPEAR!!! SPINE-SHATTERING SPEAR INTO CRASH!!!!!! CRASH IS DONE, HE’S DONE!!!! CRASH IS LIFTED BACK UP AGAIN AS DEMON CHARGES AND CLOTHESLINES ZACK CRASH OUT OF THE RING!!!!!!! DARK DEMON ELIMINATES ZACK CRASH!!!!!!
Announcer: Zack Crash has been eliminated!
HBG: Zack NEEDED to win to face Demon but that Dream has been SHATTERED here tonight by Dark Demon, Crash is down on the floor as the Council slide out and MACK, WILLIAMS, BLACK ALL LIFT CRASH UP INTO THE AIR — CONNECTING A TRIPLE POWERBOMB THROUGH OUR TABLE!!!! CHRIST!!!!!! THROUGH THE MONITORS, LAPTOPS, WOOD, EVERYTHING!!!!! CRASH HAS BEEN DESTROYED!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SHOCKED!!!!!
**The Council finally stop, walking up the ramp before Demon stops half-way up, turning his back and heads back down to the ring**
Mak: The hell is this EMO doing now???
HBG: HE’S GOING FOR HADES!!!! DEMON SLIDES INTO THE RING AND ATTACKS HADES, STOMPING ON HADES!!!! SEVERAL STOMPS INTO THE CORNER, DEMON UNLEASHING ON HADS HERE!!!
Dark Demon: NOBODY SAYS NO TO ME, I GAVE YOU ONE ORDER AND YOU COULDN’T DO THAT?? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??? I MADE YOU, YOU DO WHATEVER I SAY YOU DO!
Mak: Demon grabs Hades and L—NO!!!!! HADES GRABS DEMON BY THE THROAT!!!!! HADES IS GETTING UP AND HE GRABS DEMON BY THE THROAT, CHOKESLAM!!!!!!! HADES JUST CHOKESLAMMED DEMON OUTTA HIS BOOTS!!!!! OH MY GOD!!! HE TRIED MESSING WITH HADES AND GOT BRUNT, TYLER PARKER IS GETTING TO HIS FEET AS HADES CHARGES AND CLOTHESLINES TYLER PARKER OUT OF THE RING!!!! DAMNIT!!!!
Announcer: Tyler Parker has been eliminated!
HBG: It’s down to DEDEDE OR Hades, Hades turns to DEDEDE and GRABS HIM!!! CHOKESLAM BY HADES!!!! NO!!!! DEDEDE KICKS HIM IN THE MID-SECTION, DEDEDE DDT!!!! HADES PLANTED INTO THE MAT!!! DEDEDE is exhausted, he’s been in this since the start, he’s beaten and battered, he’s been in TWO matches tonight, DEDEDE gets back to his feet, grabbing Hades and tries throwing him OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!! BUT HADES BLOCKS, UPPERCUTTING DEDEDE!!!! DEDEDE stumbles backwards and Hades grabs him, KICKING HIM IN THE MID-SECTION AND PULLS DEDEDE IN!!!!!!! LAST CALL!!!!!!! THE LAST RIDE!!!! OVER THE TOP ROPE AND TO THE FLOOR!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!
Mak: WHOA!!!!!
( Ding! Ding! Ding! )
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner ….OF THE 2014 GRAND RAMPAGE AND HEADING TO THE MAIN EVENT OF PAIN FOR PRIDE SEVEN ……HADES!!!!!!!!! THEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLLLLLLLRAIIIIIIIISERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HBG; HE’S DONE IT!!!! HADES HAS PUNCHED IN HIS TICKET TO PAIN FOR PRIDE, HE’S WON THIS THING IN SUCH AN IMPRESSIVE FASHION!!! LAST CALLING DEDEDE OUT OF THE RING, HOLY SHIT!!!! WHAT A GRAND RAMPAGE, WHAT A NIGHT!!!
( Camera shoots to DEDEDE on the floor, knocked out )
Mak: Whelp, the chances of DEDEDE vs OUR Mikado is now ZERO! He’s gone! But that’s for a different day because Hades has CONQEURED OVER TWENTY-NINE OTHER MEN AND IS GOING TO PAIN FOR PRIDE!!
( Hades The Hellraiser is seen smirking in the ring as Venom joins in with him celebrating, ‘’you’re going to Pain for Pride man!!!’’ as Hades looks up at the PFP logo )
HBG: I don’t think ANYBODY is going to stop Hades at PFP, Sekaiichi or Demon…
( Camera fades to black )
( EAW logo buzzes )