(EAW Intro Plays)

(The camera rolls as we see a brief recap of what happened on the first episode of Season 13. We see Osamu Arcichida, Vic Venom, TLA, and Jake Smith winning big matches. We soon see King’s Court staring at Ripley and Cage backstage, Fatal Destiny offering Osamu a chance to join them but then being rebuffed immediately before the night was over. We are then shown Darkane sitting in a dark place speaking his mind, Landerson and Provencal speaking to StarrStan followed by the mysterious newcomer Ravage La Corte right after.)

(We then switch gears as Serena Bennett is ring side, chewing out Kassidy Heart once again as she did on Draft night. We see Cage win a hard fought, classic match with Drake King. Cage goes to show some respect to King but is slapped right in the face as Drake was not in the mood. We see Lethal Consequences demand a title shot and Impact ignoring him throughout the night. We see the conclusion of Impact vs Ripley as Impact found a way to beat the National Elite champ but is then beaten bloody by Lethal Consequences with his own belt to close the show. The video fades to black and the screen returns inside the Fiserv Forum in downtown Milwaukee, Wisconsin. We cut to the crowd as fans with various signs and shirts are shown. We see a kid in a PLDR Remi Skyfire shirt with a sign that says “VIC VENOM IS VICIOUS”, we swing over to twin girls with Serena Bennett t-shirts and mock up jewelry like she is known to wear, we move over to the ringside and see a grown man with a “ME LOVE MIHO” sweater with another grown man with a “CELES THE BEST” sign in his hands. We then cut to the broadcasting booth as our Dynasty trio is shown.)

(We see Stew-O in a very formal attire, Flannery in a very nice blouse, and Jake Mercer in a blazer with an “Arcade Fire” shirt under it.)

Stew-O: Welcome, welcome, WELCOME! TO FRIDAY NIGHT DYNASTY!

Flannery McCoy: Second episode of Season 13, following an explosive Draft episode we saw the fall out of a new roster meeting an older roster as we continue rolling along!

Jake Mercer: It was like watching a restaurant add some new dishes to a fire menu! Do you guys know who the best addition to Dynasty?

Stew-O: King’s Court? Vic Venom? Darcy May Morgan? Kassidy or Serena Bennett?

Jake Mercer: …Me :troll:

Flannery McCoy: :snoop: I’d trade you for Gavin Kirkland right now.

Jake Mercer: I’m not Chris Paul, you’re the one likely to be traded if it came down to it!

Flannery McCoy: What did you say, man bun?!

Stew-O: ANYWAY…we are expecting another fantastic episode of Friday Night Dynasty as we see solid match ups such as TLA facing off with a pissed off and motivated Drake King! His King’s Court partner Jake Smith teams with EAW World Heavyweight Champion Impact as they face off against National Elite Champion Jack Ripley and Lethal Consequences. We also have a huge six man tag team match between Fatal Destiny and a team of three of Dynasty’s hottest talents; Darcy May Morgan, Remi Skyfire, and Vic Venom!

Flannery McCoy: Don’t forget our main event! Darkane vs Cage and Cage definitely isn’t going to be in a great mood following that slap from Drake King last week!

Jake Mercer: It’s going to get uglier than a Master P sneaker tonight plus maybe we will see K-

(“Put Em Up” by Lupe Fiasco blasts as a huge reaction occurs. Half the fans cheer, half boo, but they are dueling as they await the arrival of the EAW Universal Women’s Champion. She appears; Kassidy Heart walks from backstage in all red attire, title on her shoulder, a beautiful pair of Fashion Nova jeans, a Gucci top, with her hair flowing down her shoulders and back. A sincere smile hits her face as she stares at the Dynasty crowd as an official member of the roster.)

Stew-O: HOLD THAT THOUGHT JAKE, KASSIDY HEART IS HERE!

Jake Mercer: I mean, I was just about to say we will see Kas-

Flannery McCoy: Hush, Jake! The EAW Universal Women’s Champion is on Dynasty!

Jake Mercer: Dude…

(Kassidy walks down the ramp, mouthing the words “wow” as she rolls in the ring and slips her belt down to her hands. As she rises to her feet, she raises the title high in the air as the fans continue popping. Kass enjoys her moment a bit, surveying the crowd, before walking over to Stephie Love and motioning for a microphone.)

Flannery McCoy: She probably has a lot on her mind!

Jake Mercer: I’m guessing it’s one thing in particular she has on her brain. That thing being Serena Ben-

Flannery McCoy: Shush, she is about to speak!

Jake Mercer: Dude, c’mon…

(Kassidy stands in the middle of the ring, twirling the microphone around in her hands as the fans are still loud and rowdy.)

Crowd: KASS-I-DY! KASS-I-DY! KASS-I-DY!

Crowd: SE-RE-NA! SE-RE-NA! SE-RE-NA!

(The dueling chants make Kassidy raise her eyebrows and give a brief nod as she paces in the ring, noticing the crowd going back and forth.)

Kassidy Heart: I got to say, despite everything that has happened since Pain for Pride, the end of Empire, since the Draft, and up until this moment…I got to say…this crowd makes me standing here in this ring worth every step I have taken so far!

(The crowd erupts with dueling cheers and boos as Kassidy takes a second to gather her thoughts.)

Kassidy Heart: I have been through hell and high water this entire journey…every minute, every second I have spent in this wrestling business has been a fight for me. Sometimes, yeah, it looks easy. I know for a fact that a good portion of you people out here and especially those people backstage don’t have sympathy for me. People believe I’m a cry baby, I whine, I want pity…never! Never in my career or especially in my life have I ever asked for pity, sympathy, or empathy from anyone! Everyone thinks me speaking my mind, opening my literal heart up and let things flow as they come as me begging for help or pleading for people to like me but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Pain for Pride should make things very clear that I am not a victim, I am not the one to feel sorry for. I am the queen of Ultraviolence, I am the winner of the Iconic Cup, I am your Elite Answers Wrestling Universal Women’s Champion…

(Kassidy begins to turn up, as the crowd stirs to match her intensity.)

Kassidy Heart: …I AM KASSIDY HEART AND I AM HERE TO KICK ANY AND EVERYBODY’S ASS THAT TAKES ME LIGHTLY!

(The entire arena erupts again as she stares into the hard camera. She lowers her shoulders and takes a deep breath before pacing again and continuing.)

Kassidy Heart: Now, I am not going to stand out here and address the elephant in the room…after this moment, I am not going to speak on Ryan and I hope to not even have to speak on him at all. I will give you guys something to aggregate. People keep wondering “why” I did what I did to Serena at Pain for Pride. Serena for weeks has been the one mouthing off, crying to all of you that I stole her moment and that I don’t deserve this title I have right here. Serena, you have dragged my name in the mud for weeks, you have disrespected me, you have called me every single name in the book and I just took it and didn’t budge. But, now that I am here on Dynasty…I’m here to answer you and your constant bitching!

Kassidy Heart: Serena Bennett, you kept saying Pain for Pride was where you got rid of Sienna Jade which is true, I guess. You got her out of the picture and beat her at the biggest show in EAW history. Cool. But then you say that I stole your moment and your title. Well, first off big head…I won the Iconic Cup months ago. By winning that Iconic Cup, I was afforded a title shot anytime, any place that I so choose. I was a little conflicted, to be honest. Should I cash it in here, should I cash it in there, should I pick a date and announce a match for that date…but then you did it! You beat Sienna Jade at Pain for Pride XII and I knew I had to do it then. You know why? Weeks ago, many weeks ago on that dead show called Empire…you defeated me, Serena. You beat me. You beat me thanks to Ahren Fournier distracting me and you got a win over me. You seized the opportunity to beat me and did it without blinking an eye. Without question you took advantage of that moment and you beat me that night on Empire, I had to live with the fact you beat me no matter how you did it. I did the same thing to you at Pain for Pride XII! I saw my opportunity, I seized the opportunity, I took advantage of the moment, and I beat you at PFP12! You see, I didn’t screw you…I just evened up the score, Serena!

(Kassidy smirks, a cocky grin appears, as she places her hand on her hip and the crowd battles again.)

Crowd: KASS-I-DY! KASS-I-DY! KASS-I-DY!

Crowd: SE-RE-NA! SE-RE-NA! SE-RE-NA!

Kassidy Heart: Before Pain for Pride, did any of you realize I had never been given a single’s title shot on Empire? Yeah, it’s crazy to think about. I killed two birds with one stone that night. I got my win back and I got the championship I always wanted. The championship that was always inches away from my hands but never afforded a chance to even fight for. I am EAW’s Universal Women’s Champion and I plan on staying champ for a very, very long time! As for Serena Bennett, you keep chirping your beak and disrespecting my name to these people and I let you speak all last week. I let you tell your side of the story of this situation we find ourselves in and this was my chance to fill in the blanks you omitted. At Operation: Doomsday…we will finish this chapter and I will go on to be the most dominant champion in EAW history after I pin your ass in the middle of that ring! You want a title shot? The queen of Ultraviolence accepts!

(Mic Drop! The crowd explodes again as Kassidy raises her title high.)

Stew-O: EXPLOSIVE NEWS RIGHT HERE TO START OFF DYNASTY!

Flannery McCoy: The two best women’s wrestlers in the world going one on one for that EAW Universal Championship at Operation: Doomsday? Incredible!

Jake Mercer: I’d pay good money to see these two have a 5 star classic!

(The show goes to a commercial break showing off Remi Skyfire and Damon Diesel mouthpieces. Not like, new mouth pieces, nah. Used mouthpieces. Be a superfan, buy a mouthpiece worn by two of EAW’s best! We return to the ring as we see Stephie Love standing with a microphone in her hand.)

Stephie Love: The following contest is a triple threat match, and is set for one fall! Introducing first…

(‘Ransom’ by Lil Tecca begins playing as Rey Brujo Jr. makes his way to the ring.)

Stew-O: Very interesting matchup here tonight, three of Dynasty’s newest prospects are facing off in an opportunity to prove they are the future of the brand!

Stephie Love: From RIo Grande, Puerto Rico, weighing in at 192 pounds, the Rican Sensation, Rey Brujo, Junior! Introducing his opponent…

(‘Venom’ by Enimem plays as Logan Burgess makes his way down the ramp.)

Jake Mercer: Fun fact: Logan suffers from multiple personality disorder and struggles with both on a regular basis!

Flannery McCoy:…How in the Hell is that a ‘fun fact’?

Stephie Love: Hailing from San Diego, California, weighing in at 190 pounds, The Black Sheep Logan Burgess! Now introducing the final competitor…

(‘Lift Me Up’ by Five FInger Death Punch, feat. Rob Halford, plays as Rumpke staggers to the ring, drinking from liquor bottle in his hand on the way down.)

Flannery McCoy: Ah, good to see someone takes this match seriously…Nevertheless, Rumpke bares the scars of many, many wars and has as much a chance as his opponents here tonight to make an impact. Let’s see what he does with it!

Stephie Love: Residing in Odon, Indiana, weighing in at 235 pounds, The Drunken Brawler, Rumpke!

(Stephie exits the ring as the official calls for the bell to start the match.)

(DING DING DING!)

Stew-O: That’s the bell, and Rumpke wastes no time in barreling forward, looking to get some damage in on Logan who uses his reach advantage to cut the brawler off, landing a big boot flush on the jaw, and sending Rumpke falling back! Interesting fact, Rumpke is both the shortest and heaviest competitor in this match, something to watch out for as he could well play into that weight advantage as the match goes on. Logan’s momentarily distraction by Rumpke was enough of an opening for Rey who rushes forward, using his shoulder to push Burgess to the ropes and whipping his opponent to the far side…headscissors takedown from Brujo, Jr. leaves Logan on his back! Rey transitions into a rear chin lock, keeping an eye on Rumpke who is struggling to regain his feet in his drunken stupor!

Jake Mercer: Stew, you should put some respect on the name ‘Rumpke’! This man was the 1998 Oktoberbrawl World Champion, beating competitors from all over the globe! It was a hell of a show, unfortunately a fire broke out and all the tapes but one were destroyed…a tape I was able to acquire at great personal cost!

Stew-O: Even if that were true, and it’s not, tapes can be copied. It’s not even that difficult.

Jake Mercer: WHY AM I THE ONLY REAL WRESTLING FAN HERE?!

Flannery McCoy: Okay…back to the action, Rumpke, indie pedigree notwithstanding, now seems to be…is he reaching for his bottle? Give me a break with this guy! Logan is fighting back against Rey now, struggling to reach a vertical base where he can use his height and reach advantage to dominate, but Rey realizes this and, while catching a headlock, drops to his knees, bringins Logan back to the mat! Interesting strategy here from Rey whose scouting report says tends to be more of a high flier, though it does make sense that if you ground the opponent you cut a lot of the ‘Risk’ from the high risk offense he likes to employ. The Rican Sensation cranks that headlock in tight, eliciting a cry of agony from Logan! Look at the ring awareness from Burgess as he reaches for the ropes, just a fingertip away…YES! Rope Break! Rey releases the hold with an annoyed look, and is quickly on his feet.

Stew-O: Logan is on his feet just a moment later, and moves forward, looking to tie up Rey! Brujo is a touch faster, though, and ducks the big man before landing a quick blow to the midsection, followed by a kick to the back of the leg, sending Logan stumbling! Rey rushes forward…NO! Logan was luring him in! Burgess catches what looked like a hurricanrana attempt with a powerbomb, nearly folding Rey in half! Rey is holding his back in pain, but is making his way to his feet only to be met with a kick to the gut from Burgess who then slips behind and locks in a waistlock! Logan is looking for a German suplex here!

Flannery McCoy: Rey counters! He just managed to dig his heels in, blocking the attempt by Logan, and uses the momentum to roll forward, freeing himself and sending the Black Sheep sprawling to the mat! Rey hits the ropes…big senton landing on the back of Logan, that’ll take your breath away for sure! Rey pulls Burgess to his feet and hooks the tights…snap suplex! Rey has a look of confidence on his face as he regains his feet, but LOOK OUT! Rumpke is back in things! Rumpke landed a clubbing forearm from behind, driving Rey to his knees, likely more in surprise than anything else.

Jake Mercer: YES! RUMPKE IS IN THE HOUSE! Rey shakes off the attack, turning to the heavier man who lands another punishing blow, this time a right cross, to the jaw, and Brujo Jr. is sent back against the ropes. Moving with the grace only afforded those without fully functional knees, Rumpke follows after and drives the toe of his boot into Rey, sending him to the outside of the ring. Rumpke is about to unleash absolute hell here tonight, I just hope you’re both prepared!

Stew-O: Indeed. He needs to unleash that Hell toward The Black Sheep, or else he’s going to be hurting for sure, Logan is on his feet and Rumpke is still focused on Rey! Burgess grabs Rumpke and pops his hips, delivering a picture perfect German suplex! As Rumpke regains his footing Logan runs to the ropes…rebound back elbow shot! Rumpke is back on the mat! REy is still on the outside, maybe the blindside attack hurt him worse than it seemed, but inside the ring the action seems to be picking up as Burgess lifts Rumpke to his feet and hooks the Bar Brawler’s waist band for a suplex…NO He drapes Rumpke’s feet on the top rope…THE NECKHANG! That rope hung DDT looked vicious!

Flannery McCoy: Rumpke, perhaps addled by the booze, is in a daze it seems as Logan is stalking his opponent…THE CUT THROAT! THat Black Mass roundhouse kick has Rumpke out cold! All Logan needs to do is pin-WAIT! Rey rushes into the ring and pushes Logan out through the ropes! He wasn’t hurt at all! Rey moves quickly to hook the leg of Rumpke!

Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!

(DING DING DING!)

Flanery McCoy: What a turn of events! The Black Sheep, Logan Burgess, had this match won, but at the last moment Rey Brujo Jr swooped in and stole the pin! Look at the Black Sheep, he’s furious at ringside, and who can blame him?

(The camera shows Logan Burgess arguing with the referee before throwing a ringside chair at the barricade in anger. Meanwhile, in the ring, Rey Brujo Jr. celebrates as Ransom begins to play. We see the scene change as we transition to backstage in a locker-room area as we see Drake King sitting in a folded chair and Jake Smith walking back and forth.)

Drake King: You good, Jake?

Jake Smith: I don’t know man. I mean, I’m teaming with The EAW World Heavyweight champion and we are facing Lethal Consequences and National Elite Champion Jack Ripley! This is…damn, this is the biggest match of my career! Like, never in a million years…man, let me stop fan boying out.

Drake King: Hey!

Jake Smith: Yeah?

Drake King: Don’t overthink this man. Yeah, two of these men in this match hold championship gold, one is a two time hall of famer who also has held gold and you…you haven’t!

Jake Smith: Dude what the fu-

Drake King: But that’s fine! You will soon! You got to stay confident! You won your match last week, you are finally free from Joshua Nicholls and I’ve got your back, Jake! King’s Court isn’t going out like some chumps. Not like I did last week, anyway…

Jake Smith: Hey, Drake! Stop! I know, I know…Cage got the best of you! He didn’t do it exactly cleanly, either! We all saw him poke you in the eyes before he threw that lariat that, I can’t lie…I thought he almost broke your damn neck, man!

Drake King: Language…

Jake Smith: Look, everything will turn right for us! Cage has to face Darkane tonight and I’m willing to bet money Darkane is going to tear him to shreds tonight in the main event. You, you have a huge match yourself! Drake King vs TLA? That’s a future Pain for Pride main event right there! You lost last week but you showed everyone losing and being satisfied with a loss isn’t the way we do things! That slap…that was the slap heard ‘round the world!

Drake King: …yeah, my hand is a little sore from slapping the taste out of his mouth!

Jake Smith: Good! Now, go slap around TLA tonight and I will pin Jack Ripley and position myself to maybe, possibly, hopefully…become National Elite champion!

???: You…National Elite champion? HA!

(In walks Ronan Malosi and Jason McKormick, both very massive, large, menacing fellows as Drake King stan ds up and Jake Smith stands to his side.)

Drake King: Who do you two think you are barging in here like this?

Jake Smith: Yeah, losers locker-room is down the hall!

Ronan Malosi: Yeah, maybe we can escort the former Interwire Champion down there with us, huh?

Jason McKormick: Look, me and this man have been at odds since he joined this company…he isn’t a fan of me and I certainly am not a fan of him. But, looking at two chumps like you so unsure of your selves makes us laugh!

Ronan Malosi: Drake King out here getting beat by old ass men like Cage? Jake Smith needing help to beat Celes Dumont and THEN falling upwards in to a match with Impact as his partner? Against Lethal Consequences and Jack Ripley? AND Jake thinks he can maybe, possibly, HOPEFULLY win and show StarrStan and everybody here on Dynasty that he deserves a shot at the National Elite champion? That’s hilarious!

Drake King: Hilarious? You know what’s hilarious?! Ronan here getting pinned by Darcy May Morgan last week!

Jake Smith: You know what’s even more hilarious? Jason McKormick getting his head kicked in by Vic Venom last week!

Drake King: You know what would be hilarious?
Jake Smith: Let me guess?

Drake King: Go right ahead!

Jake Smith: We slap the taste out of both of these big mouths like you slapped the taste out of Cage’s mouth?

Ronan Malosi: Touch me and I will break that damn hand, punk!

???: WOAH WOAH WOAH!!!

(In walks TLA, as the fans erupt with intense chants.)

Crowd: TLA! TLA! TLA! TLA! TLA!

TLA: WAIT!

(TLA stands between all four men, hands up, stopping the potential fight. TLA looks around, side eye to one team and side eye to the other.)

TLA: Estás haciendo demasiado ruido.

(All four of the men are confused at TLA.)

TLA: ¡Ustedes dos huelen a tope y Jake Smith está temblando como una stripper!

Rona Malosi: ENGLISH, YOU PIECE OF SH-

Drake King: Language!

TLA: Sorry! I said…you two…

(TLA points to Ronan and Jason.)

TLA: You two smell like butt sex!

(The crowd laughs.)

TLA: You, Jake Smith…are clearly nervous and are shaking like a stripper back here! As for you Drake…I’ll see you later, hombre!

(TLA winks at Drake and leaves right back out as Ronan and Jason shake their heads.)

Ronan Malosi: Come on, Jason…we’ll see you two around!
Jason McKormick: Welcome to Dynasty, Queen’s Court!

(Jake Smith and Drake King remain alone, angry, confused, but motivated to make tonight a night in favor of King’s Court.)

Drake King: Jake…you good?

Jake Smith: I’m ok…we will be ok!

(We transition back to the ring as we see Stephie Love standing in the ring, smiling, as she begins to speak.)

Stephie Love: Our next contest is scheduled for

Crowd: ONE FALL!

Stephie Love: AND IT IS A TAG TEAM MATCH! On their way to the ring…

(“Birdz” by Denzel Curry ft. Rick Ross blasts through the speakers as the stage gets filled with smoke and the lights play around in synchron with the music. The crowd erupts in a mixed reaction as they don’t know whether to cheer or boo. Damon comes out slowly with his hair all over his face while his face faces down and makes his way through the stage.)

Don’t start none, won’t be none
Don’t speak, don’t hear, and don’t see none
Only fear one, but now I fear none
And if you ain’t God, well, I don’t give a fuck (No)

(During the last line Damon stands still as the line finishes and right after the “No”, he raises his head quickly and makes his way to the ring.)

Stephie Love: On his way to the ring…hailing from Orlando, Florida…weighing 223 pounds…THE UNSTABLE…DAMOOOOOON DIEEEEESEL!

Don’t start none, won’t be none
Don’t speak, don’t hear, and don’t see none
Only fear one, but now I fear none
And if you ain’t God, well, I don’t give a fuck

(He gets inside the ring and raises his hand up as the theme plays until it slowly dies down.)

Stew-O: This young man has been here in EAW for quite some time and has come close to success many times but just hasn’t quite been consistent enough to see become the champion he may be destined to be.

Flannery McCoy: Maybe this tag team match will give him a glimpse of tag team success? Maybe Osamu and Damon can make a good team and maybe become challengers for the EAW World Tag team championships?

Jake Mercer: I’d love nothing more than to see my man Damon Diesel and Osamu take those belts and bring them home to Friday Night Dynasty if they stick together and work well. You know, Damon Diesel once held the record for most suplexes in GCF?

Flannery McCoy: Is that another one of those likely made up, super indie promotions you love to name drop?

Jake Mercer: What…what’s your deal tonight?

(“Sensai” by Datsik plays as out steps Osamu Arcichida to a chorus of boos as he raises his arms and basks in the disdain of the local fans. Osamu pulls out and reveals a baton, as he begins to pretend to play the booing crowd like an orchestra. Osamu poses briefly on the top of the stage before making his way down the ramp.)

Stephie Love: AND HIS PARTNER…On his way to the ring…from Osaka, Japan…weighing in at 235 pounds…THE ORCHESTRATOR…OSAMU ARCICHIDA!!!

Stew-O: He got a big win over Miho Li of Fatal Destiny, following the match was attacked by Celes and Li in the middle of that ring. However, Celes and Miho offered him a chance to join them in Fatal Destiny with Karina-Ann’s return being up in the air. Osamu not only turned them down, he later costs Celes Dumont her match with Jake Smith after flinging poison mist in to her eyes!

Flannery McCoy: I guess he got the win and got even with FD!

Jake Mercer: I heard it took them hours to get all that guck off her face, man! Osamu bringing traditional Japanese Wrestling tropes to EAW and I am one happy Gaijin, I can’t even lie!

Flannery McCoy: You seem like the type to have a pillow wife, Jake.

Jake Mercer: You leave Kimikono out of this, Flan!

(Osamu enters the ring and gives a nod to his partner as they both stand and wait. “Armageddon (Enthropy Remix)” by Blue Stahli plays as Ronan Malosi stalks onto the stage, eyeing both his opponents, cranking his neck, and looking as intense as possible.)

Stephie Love: AND THEIR OPPONENTS…first, from Cape Town, South Africa…weighing 230 pounds…he is THE JUGGERNAUT…ROOOONAN MALOOOOOOSI!

(Ronan begins to stomp down the ramp, he makes his way ringside, and stops as he begins to bounce a bit.)

Stew-O: This big fella is a man with an MMA background and a temper that’s hard to match! Ronan joined EAW a little past the midway point of EAW and has made his mark here and there. One of the bright, future stars who can make an impact going forward!

Jake Mercer: This man is scary! I’ve seen some of his past MMA fights! Malosi once hit a fella with a knee so hard and precisely on to the chin, he sent two of his front teeth flying in to the crowd.

Flannery McCoy: You didn’t see him do a damn thing!

(Jake Mercer reaches in to his shirt, revealing two front teeth attached to a string around his neck that he was wearing like some people wear shark teeth.)

Jake Mercer: I was there, I tell you! THESE ARE THE MAN’S TEETH RIGHT HERE!

Flannery McCoy: Eww! I wish he would come knee you in the teeth!

(As his theme fades, “Devil” by Shinedown plays as out steps Jason McKormick. He points finger guns towards the ring as Diesel and Osamu watch him. Ronan looks back and is a little annoyed about having to team with Jason but continues warming up ringside. Jason begins to walk down the ramp as fans boo him and Ronan.)

Stephie Love: AND HIS PARTNER…from Jackson, Michigan…weighing 235 pounds…he is THE LUNATIC…JASON MCKORMICK!!!

Stew-O: A Dynasty vet, he welcomed Vic Venom following a loss with a kick to the face!

Jake Mercer: Drake slapping Cage was the slap heard around the world…well, this was the KICK heard around the world as Jason hit his version of The Legacy and sent his opponent right out of the ring!

Flannery McCoy: Well, let’s see him hit that kick on Diesel or Osamu and win a match with that kick of his!

(Osamu and Diesel look at each other as Osamu starts the match for his team. Ronan and Jason speak for a brief second and then Jason himself enters the match first.)

(Ding! Ding!)

Stew-O: We have Osamu and Jason face to face right now! McKormick ties up with The Conductor and wrangles him in to a headlock! BAM! PUNCH TO THE FACE AS OSAMU IS BACKED UP! McKormick launches himself as Osamu who, side steps him! Jason runs to the ropes, bounces off, comes back, SHOULDER BLOCK BY ARCICHIDA!

Flannery McCoy: Jason falls on his back as Osamu runs off the ropes himself, jumps in the air, LEG DROP…MISSES! Jason moves out of the way as Osamu lands on his backside!

Stew-O: Osamu tries to get to his feet, EUROPEAN UPPERCUT CONNECTS AS OSAMU’S HEAD SNAPS BACK AGAIN! McKormick scoops Osamu and SPIKE DDT! Drops Osamu right on to the top of his head!

Flannery McCoy: Dominating action from Jason to start this tag match!

Stew-O: Osamu is rolled over and Jason goes for the quick cover!

Ref: One…TW-NO!

Flannery McCoy: Quick kick out by Osamu who rolls onto his stomach and moves McKormick off of him! Osamu gets to his hands and knees as Jason McKormick gets up. Jason backs up a bit, eyeing Osamu crawling. PUNT TO THE RIBS!

Flannery McCoy: Osamu rolls on the ground as McKormick laughs a bit and Ronan is now cheering for his former opponent turned partner! Jason grabs on Osamu’s leg and begins to drag him away from the center of the ring and to the corner. Ronan reaches in, as Jason looks skeptical for a second before tagging in his partner. Malosi instantly enters the ring and begins stomping away at the ribs of Osamu as Jason holds his left leg for leverage! The ref demands Jason to leave as Ronan continues beating on Osamu!

Jake Mercer: Malosi is a ruthless fellow and teaming with this Lunatic is almost like watching Jay-Z and Kanye form to make Watch The Throne!

Stew-O: Malosi mounts Osamu and begins pummelling him with MMA punches!

Flannery McCoy: Watch the throne? Ugh…you are phony, Jake!

Stew-O: Malosi is forced away for throwing closed fists and the ref makes him back away from Osamu, who turns and tries to get to his partner Damon. Ronan sees this and drops a stiff elbow to the spine of Osamu! Malosi gets up, bringing Osamu up as well to his feet. Malosi gets Osamu into a powerbomb position…he wraps his arms around, lifts him up on to his right shoulder…DOMINATOR!

Flannery McCoy: Ronan SLAMS OSAMU RIGHT ON HIS FACE AND BRUISED RIBS! Jason and Ronan are working as a team and targeting The Orchestrator’s ribs! Osamu is in some pain as Ronan rolls him over for a pin!

Ref: One…TWO…NO!

Stew-O: Osamu kicks out! He’s not done yet as Ronan grabs him by the back of his hair and drags him to his feet! Ronan drags him back to their corner of the ring as he tags back in Jason McKormick who immediately enters the ring and CRACKS OSAMU IN THE RIBS WITH A KNEE SHOT!

Flannery McCoy: Osamu drops down as Ronan and Jason seemingly are enjoying this mauling of Osamu! Jason drags Osamu to the middle of the ring as Arcichida is on his knees in the center of the ring. Jason steps back, smirking, a sadistic look on his face! Jason is begging for him to get to his feet! Osamu slowly gets up! Jason bounces off the ropes and charges…

Jake Mercer: SPEAR!

Flannery McCoy: NO!

Stew-O: Osamu jumps in the air as Jason flies under him and misses the spear! Osamu lands awkwardly, holding his ribs, as he turns around and sees Jason getting to his feet! Jason turns…DROPKICK TO THE KNEES! Osamu drops Jason flat on his face as Osamu gets back up holding those ribs. Osamu sees Jason trying to get up…BEAUTIFUL STANDING DROPKICK CRACKS HIM IN THE FACE! Jason hits back first on the mat and rolls to get up again.

Flannery McCoy: KNIFE EDGE CHOP TO THE CHEST AS JASON SPINS AROUND FROM THE POWER OF IT! JASON TURNS AROUND AND FACES OSAMU AND HE KICKS HIM IN THE GUT! OSAMU HOOKS HIM…THE BEST NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX IN THE BUSINESS HITS AS OSAMU HOOKS HIS LEGS!

Ref: ONE…TWO…NO!!!

Stew-O: Osamu loses the hold as Jason kicks out and Arcichida grabs those ribs!

Flannery McCoy: Jason rolls over and so does Osamu as both men charge and DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN! OSAMU ROLLS OVER, STILL HOLDING THOSE RIBS AND CRAWLS! JASON IS RILING IN PAIN BRIEFLY BEFORE HE STARTS CRAWLING! BOTH MEN ARE ON THEIR STOMACHS CRAWLING, REACHING FOR HELP! RONAN AND DAMON ARE BEGGING…TAGS! BOTH MEN TAG OUT AS DAMON ENTERS THE MATCH AND CHARGES! RONAN GETS IN THE RING AND DIESEL SPRINTS! ELBOW TO THE JAW!

Stew-O: DIESEL CRACKS RONAN BUT MALOSI IS UNPHASED! DIESEL STEPS BACK, CHARGES…ELBOW TO THE FACE!

Flannery McCoy: RONAN SHAKES IT OFF!

Jake Mercer: HERE GOES NUMBER THREE…DIESEL SPRINTS AND

Flannery McCoy: KICK TO THE GUT! RONAN KICKS DIESEL IN THE STOMACH! DIESEL IS GASPING FOR AIR! RONAN UPPERCUTS HIM AS DIESEL STUMBLES BACKWARDS…Osamu is on the ring apron, trying to gather himself as Ronan grabs Diesel’s head!

FEAR FACTOR!!!

Jake Mercer: FEAR FACTOR! FUTURE SHOCK DDT DROPS DIESEL ON HIS HEAD! RONAN ROLLS HIM OVER! COVER!

Ref: ONE…TWO…THREE!!

(Ding! Ding! Ding!)

Stephie Love: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS…JASON MCKORMICK…AND RONAN MALOSI!!!

(Ronan Malosi’s music blasts as Ronan gets to his feet and Jason gets back in the ring and they flex and celebrate this win.)

Stew-O: Talk about stunning! Osamu was fighting well by himself, he tags in his partner and BOOM Ronan hits that Fear Factor DDT and ends this match right here and there!

Flannery McCoy: Like these two or not, they worked well here! Targeted the ribs of Osamu despite him fighting valiantly and Ronan himself crushes Diesel in quick fashion as Diesel is out cold!

(Ronan and Jason leave the ring as Osamu gets up, holding his ribs. The ref is checking on Damon who is still flat on his back. Osamu kneels down, looking sorry for his partner briefly until he starts shaking his head.)

Jake Mercer: POISON MIST! HE SPRAYED POISON MIST IN TO DAMON DIESEL’S FACE! DIESEL IS ROLLING AROUND IN PAIN! HE IS STUNNED! HE IS BLINDED! RED MIST COVERS HIS FACE AS OSAMU GETS UP SHAKING HIS HEAD, WIPING HIS MOUTH!

Flannery McCoy: I know he doesn’t blame anyone but his partner for this loss but god, that mist is disgusting and dangerous guys!

Stew-O: He took an L but his partner is the one down and humiliated, The Orchestrator is walking out solo tonight as he did last week!

(We cut to a commercial break for Ronan Malosi’s MMA training. Learn to strike like the Cut throat! We return to ringside where Stephie Love is standing.)

Stephie Love: Our next contest is a triple threat and is set for one fall! Introducing the first competitor…

(‘Styles Clash’ by Yannosuke Kitamura plays as RAYBAO makes his way to the ring.)

Jake Mercer: RAYBAO has came to EAW, this man has done nothing but have five…no, six star classics all across Japan and the indies! This man is one of the most important acquisitions that EAW has ever made talent-wise and his opponents tonight…well, I just don’t see any way he can possibly lose to them!

Stephie Love: From Hangzhou, Zhejiang, China, weighing in at 184 pounds, RAYBAO! Introducing his first opponent…

(‘La Marmelade de Ma Grand Mere’ by Florent Caubien plays as Provencal makes his way to the ring, eyes locked on RAYBAO.)

Flannery McCoy: Provencal is focused on the task at hand here tonight, look at the determination in his face! A constant challenger for the BBB Championship, Provencal will be a strong frontrunner to win here tonight!

Stephie Love: hailing from Triffouillis-les-Oies, France weighing in at 204 pounds…The Unvictorious, Provencal! Introducing next…

(‘Here Comes The Boom’ by DMX, feat. Sean Paul and Alex Vegas plays as El Landerson enters the arena to the roar of the crowd.)

Stew-O: BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP! Jake, you can have all the six star in the DOme matches you want, but they can’t hold a candle compared to El Landerson! Look at rAYBAO and Provencal leave the ring as Landerson enters!

Stephie Love: from San Jose, California, weighing in at 160 pounds, the Bit-Luchador…El Landerson!

(Stephie exits the ring and the official calls for the bell)

Stew-O: Landerson starts off things by slipping under the attempt at collar and elbow tie up from Provencal, landing a quick elbow to the back, knocking the Butter Knife off balance a bit as he passes. RAYBAO tries to land a forearm, but Landerson ducks this too, and hits the ropes before rebounding with headscissors takedown on RAYBAO! Landerson goes to follow up, but Provencal cuts him off, catching a headlock, pulling Landerson to the ground easily. RAYBAO is back on his feet and lands a kick to the side of Provencal’s head, breaking the hold up .

Jake Mercer: RAYBAO with a strong style chop across the chest of Provencal…

Flannery McCoy: That…that’s just a chop, it wasn’t really ‘strong style’ or anything…

Jake Mercer: Shut up Flannery, RAYBAO is putting on a clinic! He whips Provencal to the rope and lands a running crescent kick! RAYBAO follows up with a quick leg drop to the back of the head and looks to be firmly in control!

Flannery McCoy: Landerson from behind! Landerson dropped RAYBAO with a sort of reverse sling blade, and now Landerson pulls Provencal to his feet, rocking him with forearm shots to the jaw. Quickly kicking RAYBAO in the ribs, Landerson is taking control of the match quickly, and may be looking to put things away early here! He pulls Pronvencal to his feet and sends him to the corner, might be looking for the Stinger Splash!

Jake Mercer: RAYBAO ISN’T OUT YET! He cuts Landerson off as he was going for the splash! He hooks Landerson and delivers a hard suplex as Provencal is trying to recover in the corner. RAYBAO pulls Laderson back to his feet, and slips behind him, delivering a jumping double knee backbreaker! Landerson is rolling in pain! RAYBAO turns his attention to Provencal….Big running front dropkick drives The Butter Knife back into the corner, that shotgun dropkick is one of RAYBAO’s more tested weapons in his arsenal, and one of the reasons RAYBAO is so dominant in the ring!

Stew-O: Landerson hits a poisoned rana on RAYBAO, who was distracted by Provencal, sending the newcomer back to the floor with the reverse hurricanrana. Landerson pulls RAYBAO to his feet and scoops him up…REVERSE CROSS BODY! Landerson ran up the turnbuckle and landed a big move that has left RAYBAO out! Landerson taunts RAYBAO…SUPERKICK! Provencal lands a big superkick to Landerson, dropping the Bit-Luchador. Provencal turns his attention back to RAYBAO as Landerson seems to be pulling himself toward the corner, and the Unvctorious pulls RAYBAO to his feet, then whips him to the ropes…BON APPETITE! The Pop-UP European uppercut lands flush! RAYBAO is out!

Flannery McCoy: SHOOTING STAR ELBOWDROP! Landerson out of nowhere! RAYBAO is gone! Landerson moves for the pin…wait, Provencal does too! Both men hook a leg!

Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!

(DING DING DING!)

Stew-O: What?! They both can’t win!

Jake Mercer: Not such a unique situation, I saw this exact scenario once in lower Hoboken…

Flannery McCoy: Shut up, Jake, the referee is talking to Stephie…okay, looks like she has an announcement to make…

Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee of the match has declared a draw!

(A mixed reaction comes from the crowd as the official raises the arms of Provencal and Landerson, each seeming confused themselves.)

Jake Mercer:…well, this proves my point, it took two men to beat RAYBAO!

Stew-O: Well this match may have ended in uncertainty, but one thing’s for certain…RAYBAO arm isn’t one of the ones raised here tonight!

(Provencal grabs a microphone.)

Provencal: Did I win the match?

(Landerson also grabs a microphone.)

Landerson: I win match.

Provencal: But I win match.

Landerson: I win the match tonight.

Provencal: I also win.

Landerson: No, I win match I win.

Provencal: But I also win, my match was won by me.

Landerson: No, you not win I win not you win.

Provencal: I want Kassidy Heart next week. I want title shot.

Landerson: I make Serena Bennett feel the boom, here I come I-

(RAYBAO gets to his feet, shaking his head.)

RAYBAO: I LOST?!

(The lights cut off. The crowd is going wild, no one realizes what’s happening. The lights pop back up.)

Jake Mercer: LOOK! IN THE RING! RAVAGE LA CORTE! THE FRENCH LUCHADORE! He’S WEARING HALF FRENCH FLAG GEAR WITH HALF MEXICAN FLAG GEAR AS HE ADJUSTS HIS MASK! RAVAGE CHARGES! BAM! HE DOUBLE CLOTHESLINES LANDERSON AND PROVENCAL! THE CROWD BEGINS TO BOO IMMEDIATELY! RAVAGE GETS TO HIS FEET…HE TURNS AND SEES RAYBAO! KICK TO THE GUT! PEDIGREE!! HE DROPS RAYBAO ON HIS SKULL MY GOD!

Flannery McCoy: That pedigree looks familiar!

Stew-O: Ravage is supposedly a new star signed to EAW but no one has ever heard of him!

Jake Mercer: I heard of him!

StarrStan: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! YOU! YEAH YOU!

(Out sprints StarrStan, starring from the entrance ramp as Provencal and Landerson stand ring side and Ravage stands over RAYBAO’s out cold body.)

StarrStan: I checked the entire EAW database! I checked new and former talent, there is no record for anyone named Ravage La Corte ever being signed! Who the hell are you and who the hell do you think you are?!

Flannery McCoy: WAIT! Ravage La Corte is standing in the ring, he grabs one of the microphones Provencal and Landerson dropped, he begins to raise it to his lips. HE STOPS!

Ravage La Corte: Let me take this crap off first…

(Ravage La Corte rips away at his clothes, his chest bare as his black skin shines in the lights. He grabs his mask and slowly rips it away until…)

Stew-O: ERIC HAVOC? Eric Havoc is the man that was pretending to be Ravage La Corte?!

Eric Havoc: Finally…I can be myself! I spent the last week pretending to be something I was not! I stood by, watching mockeries and chumps like these three get called on over and to debut on the first Dynasty of this season and where did you have me? Huh? You not only left me off the card but you left me in the dark! I am sick of being taken for a joke around here! I am sick of not being seen as a guy who isn’t seen as a major player around here! I had to deal with the doubters and haters all last season, namely Jake Smith and I am not taking it anymore! I am here to bring forth a rebirth in EAW! Mark Michaels thought he had something to prove, huh? He thought he was the one to bring a revolution to EAW? Nah, he wasn’t the one to do it! Mark got that Pure championship, he left Dynasty, and nothing seems to have changed! I know what the problem is…you! You are the problem!

(Eric points to the fallen RAYBAO.)

Eric Havoc: You two are the problem!

(Eric points ringside to Provencal and Landerson.)

Landerson: I not problem, he the problem.

Provencal: I’m problem? No. You problem.

Landerson: He problem, the big problem.

Provencal: I no problem, no. You problem.

Landerson: I win, you problem.

Provencal: You not win, you problem. I win.

Landerson: Cage the problem.

Provencal: Cage the problem?

Eric Havoc: AND THE BIGGEST PROBLEM HERE…is you StarrStan!

StarrStan: Excuse me? What are you

Eric Havoc: I know you think I’m stupid but don’t play dumb with me! You think I belong on this level! With guys like these three!

Flannery McCoy: This guy has some nerve, everybody knows Landerson is the goat.

Eric Havoc: I have bigger goals then these three, I have a rebirth to bring to this company! StarrStan, you better stay out of my way! I am Eric Havoc…and I am the one to bring an EXTREME REBIRTH TO DYNASTY!

(Eric Havoc tosses the microphone, reaching down and picking RAYBAO back up to his feet.)

CHAOS IMPACT!!

Jake Mercer: JUMPING CUTTER TO RAYBAO AS ERIC HAVOC GETS TO HIS FEET, RAISING ONE FINGER IN THE AIR AS THE CROWD GOES CRAZY!

Eric Havoc: I AM THE ONE!!! I AM THE ONE!!! I…AM…THE…ONE!

(The scene ends as Eric Havoc stands alone in the ring, finger in the air, as we go to commercial break. The ad plays, it’s TLA’s custom lowriders and low rider accessories. We see Steroid Dawg barking as TLA makes his car bounce up and down over and over while smiling into the camera. We open up after the ad inside StarrStan’s office as he seemingly just finished up an important call.)

StarrStan: Yeah man, I have a lot of crazy people on this show! From Ronan, McKormick, to Eric Havoc running around in a costume just to basically murder poor RAYBAO! It’s crazy! I will handle all of this, no problem! We have a big show coming up, these crazy guys better not ruin anything big! No…yes, Operation: Doomsday will be a classic! I can’t wait to fill out this card but so far it’s looking great! Lethal and Imp? Serena vs Kass? So many more matchups to make so little…time…

(StarrStan stops talking as he notices someone walk in.)

StarrStan: Alright, yeah…I got to go…talk to you later!

(StarrStan sighs as he looks up and speaks.)

StarrStan: Fancy meeting you here! What can I do for you…Vic Venom!

(The camera pans and the crowd goes wild.)

Crowd: VIC VENOM! VIC VENOM! VIC VENOM!

(We see Vic Venom standing stoic and calm as he stares back at StarrStan.)

Vic Venom: What can you do…for…me. A lot, apparently.

StarrStan: Well, I am the man that helps guide this ship…you have heard of me, right?

Vic Venom: Um…yeah. You’re StarrStan, of course I heard of you.

StarrStan: Sure, sure. :troll: Anyway, what’s up? Don’t you have a match to prepare for?

Vic Venom: Yeah, i’m a little excited for it. Me teaming with Darcy May Morgan and Remi Skyfire as we shut those mouths on those Fatal Destiny chicks faces, I am all for that. But, I want to be clear with you…man to man.

StarrStan: Clear on what?

Vic Venom: I wanted to come here and tell you face to face, I appreciate you drafting me to Dynasty. I appreciate every opportunity I am given but…I want a little more.

StarrStan: A little more?

Vic Venom: I want more, it’s all im saying! I came here to EAW to show that I am one of the best wrestlers in the world. I am walking in to this company at the tail end of the previous season and I found myself on the biggest show in wrestling history, Pain for Pride XII and I showed out! I haven’t been in EAW long but you can’t deny I haven’t made a big impression! I held nothing back! I’ve kicked the heads of many of men and women so far and these people…they notice it! I kicked Jason McKormick’s head off last week and sent his vet ass home with a loss to The Morningstar to show for it! I’ve proven myself in the ring with some of EAW’s biggest names! Malcolm Jones, Noah Reigner, Raven Roberts, Visual Pro-

StarrStan: Those all are some big names…that beat you!

Vic Venom: Excuse me?

StarrStan: Look! Hey! Look, relax…I’m messing with you! I have been watching you, Vic. Those matches with Malcolm and Noah, you didn’t win them but you showed me and everybody in EAW that you can go in that ring! I saw that match you had with Jason McKormick, also! That was some impressive stuff. Sucks he was a sore loser after but you did good…you got that win and I was happy to see you end up here on Dynasty, I can’t lie! You are a talented guy, a bright future is clearly here in EAW for you…if you want it. Look, I want to see you show out tonight in this match like you have been doing for the past few weeks. You got a great team around you tonight and your opponents are a tight knit group. Prove something to me again, Vic Venom. Next week, I’ll have something special for you.

Vic Venom: Something special?

StarrStan: Something, maybe someone…just go out there and keep stealing the show and kicking heads in. Good luck tonight by the way!

Vic Venom: Luck? Fatal Destiny will need luck. You better make sure that special whatever it is you have up your sleeve is good because I promise you tonight Fatal Destiny’s fate is in Remi, Darcy, and my hands!

(Vic gives a foot tap to the bottom leg of StarrStan’s desk desk, shaking some of the stuff StarrStan has and walks away as Starr quickly adjusts the lamp and things on his desk. The camera cuts to Stephie Love in the ring.)

Stephie Love: The following is a Six Man Tag Team Match and it is scheduled for one fall!!!

Crowd: ONE FALL!!!

(Jake Mercer is shown getting in the ring and whispering something to Stephie Love who looks annoyed before he returns to commentary.)

Stephie Love: My mistake… this is a Six PERSON Tag Team Match I apologize for my past sexist comments.

Jake Mercer: That’s better.

Flannery McCoy: What a gentleman.

Stew-O: *facepalms*

(“Fight Song” by Sister Sin hits to cheers from the crowd as Fatal Destiny makes their appearance on stage looking ready to kick some ass.)

Stephie Love: Introducing first they are the team of Celes Dumont, Miho Li, and Karina-Ann… FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATAL DESTINY!!!

Jake Mercer: I’m really glad they all came out together. Imagine having to wait for all three of their individual entrances.

Flannery McCoy: I am literally shaking just thinking about it.

Stew-O: Same.

(“How Bad Do You Want It” by Sevyn Streeter hits to boos from the crowd.)

Stephie Love: And their opponents first from Kent, United Kingdom weighing in at 130 pounds… “The Leading Lady” DARCY MAY MORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGAN!!!!

(“Ronin” by Within the Ruins hits to cheers as Vic Venom comes out to the ring threatening to attack his opponents even before the entrances have been completed.)

Stephie Love: And her partner from Oslo, Norway weighing in at 225 pounds… “The Morningstar” VIC VEEEEEEEEEEENOM!!!!!

(“Space Lord” by Monster Magnet hits as the crowd can literally not stand the intense hatred they are suddenly feeling.)

Stephie Love: And finally from Somerset, Kentucky weighing in at 150 pounds “The Killer” REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMI SKYFIRE!!!!

Flannery McCoy: It looks like Miho Li and Vic Venom have volunteered to start up for their team. Yay!!!

Stew-O: This should be an interesting matchup between two people who really couldn’t be any different.

Jake Mercer: Oh god yes! My perfect Japanese waifu Miho Li! Where the Jergens at?

Flannery McCoy: I threw it away when I saw it. This is not going to turn into another Gavin situation. Dynasty is different.

Jake Mercer: Good thing I always keep a backup bottle on my person.

Stew-O: Where do you keep it?

Flannery McCoy: Don’t ask him that.

(DING! DING! DING!)

Stew-O: We are underway as Vic Venom and Miho Li prepare to throw down. Miho charges in and delivers a hard bitch slap to the face of Vic! But Vic catches the arm jerking her down and around into an armbar. Miho fights out of it with a hard kick to the leg of Vic.

Jake Mercer: Got him right behind the knee nearly knocking him off his feet as he releases Miho’s arm. Miho takes the opportunity to run off the ropes but Vic is waiting with a hard Clothesline! No! Miho leaps over Vic pulling him over into a pin with a Sunset Flip!!!

Referee: ONE!!!! TWO!!!!!

Jake Mercer: YES MIHO!

Flannery McCoy: NO MIHO! The kickout! Vic rolls through the pin back up to his feet… and he kicks Miho’s head off! Damn that was a hard shot right there! Vic falls into the cover.

Referee: ONE!!!! TWO!!!!!

Stew-O: Kickout by Miho Li as she begins to crawl towards her corner looking to make a tag. Vic walks over to his corner and makes the tag to Darcy May Morgan as Miho lunges forward and tags in Karina Ann! Both now in the ring… Karina immediately rolls up Darcy with a surprise School Boy!

Jake Mercer: *shakes with rage*

Stew-O: My bad School Girl… The cover!

Referee: ONE!!! TWO!!!! THR-

Flannery McCoy: KICKOUT! Darcy looks pissed that Karina was almost able to score an upset over her right there. She gets back up and begins to shriek at Karina. A hard slap from Darcy but Karina just smiles back and then begins to hammer her with hard forearm shots!

Stew-O: Darcy thrown back into the corner as she desperately tries to block the shots but to no avail! Karina hammers her down into a sitting position in the corner and then begins to stomp a mudhole with relentless intensity!

Stew-O: Karina mockingly kicks the head of Darcy who looks out of it before grabbing her leg and dragging her back into the middle of the ring. Karina drags Darcy back up to her feet by the hair yanking it back and forth in a humiliating fashion. Darcy looks pissed as she fires back with a Superkick… but it is caught by Karina who smiles mockingly at her.

Flannery McCoy: Hard knee to the gut sending Karina right back into the corner from whence she came. Karina puts Darcy’s leg up on the middle rope and begins to kick her over and over and over! Darcy falls through the ropes to the apron getting her legs tangled up as Karina presses down hard on the limbs against the tight ropes for extra damage!

Jake Mercer: Darcy falls to the outside as she struggles her way back up into the ring. But Karina is waiting for her… Belly to Belly Suplex over the top rope from the apron into the ring! Karina with the cover!!!

Referee: ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEE!!!!

Stew-O: IT’S OVER! NO WAIT! REMI SKYFIRE IN THE RING TO BREAK UP THE PINFALL!!! GET HER OUT OF THERE!!!

Flannery McCoy: This is against the rules but Remi just saved the match for her team!

Jake Mercer: Ah yes indeed. Quite an impressive and calculated strategy if I do say so myself.

Stew-O: Now Remi dragging Darcy by the hair back to the corner as she climbs out to the apron and makes the tag. Remi now in the ring legally as Karina decides to make the tag to Celes… But oh shit! Darcy just ran around the ring and bashed Celes in the head from behind! Remi and Darcy now stomping away at Celes Dumont in the ring! Both women pulled her up… Double Team Suplex Position!!!! OH HELL NO!

Flannery McCoy: DOUBLE TEAM BRAINBUSTER! CELES DUMONT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED!

(A replay is shown of Celes Dumont landing head first in the ring the top of her skull visibly bouncing off the mat.)

Jake Mercer: The referee now ordering Darcy out of the ring as Remi Skyfire goes in for the cover.

Referee: ONE! TWO! THR-

Flannery McCoy: But Remi pulls Celes’ shoulder up! She’s not finished! Remi with a sick smirk on her face as she bashes Celes’ head repeatedly into the mat! Celes looks out of it!

Stew-O: The referee shoves Remi off Celes as she backs into the corner and Vic slaps her on the back to make the tag. Remi grabs Celes dragging her limp body back up… Vic charges in… LEGACY KICK!!! Celes ragdolls down to the mat. The cover by Vic Venom!

Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!!!

Jake Mercer: It’s all over.

(DING! DING! DING!)

Stephie Love: Here are your winners… the team of Vic Venom, Remi Skyfire, and Darcy May Morgan!!!

(“Ronin” by Within the Ruins hits as the other members of Fatal Destiny rush in to check on Celes Dumont who looks like she is still motionless in the ring.)

Stew-O: Celes Dumont really fell hard on her head from that Brainbuster. I hope nothing is wrong with her.

Flannery McCoy: I wasn’t expecting the match to end so suddenly but as soon as she was dropped like that she went out like a light. Someone get her some help out there!

Jake Mercer: She may have some sort of head injury caused by physical trauma but I can’t be certain what that would mean or even if she actually has it. Either way this loss is mostly her fault for not letting her more talented Japanese partner Miho Li just handle this match on her own. This reminds me of that anime episode where…

Stew-O: We don’t need to hear about your hentai obsession Jake. What we need is doctors out here to check on this poor woman!

Flannery McCoy: Well it looks like they are bringing the stretcher out. We will have updates for you as they come in. But for now please enjoy these commercial breaks!

(The camera cuts to a series of commercials about starving children and dying dogs as sad music plays over them. We return to EAW Friday Night Dynasty as Stephie Love is in the ring.)

Stephie Love: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR…

Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!

(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac begins to play, causing the fans inside the sold out arena to erupt in cheers.)

Stephie Love: INTRODUCING FIRST… RESIDING IN THE POON PALACE IN MIAMI, FLORIDA… WEIGHING IN AT 210 POUNDS… HE IS LA PANTERA SEXUAL… TLA!!!!

(TLA makes his way onto the stage and begins to walk down to the ring.)

Jake Mercer: Am I going to be calling a match for TLA every week?

Flannery McCoy: Well, more than likely. He’s one of Dynasty’s biggest stars.

(Jake Mercer is heard letting out an exhausted sigh.)

Jake Mercer: I just don’t get the appeal of this man, and not to repeat myself from last week, but seriously, why?

Stew-O: Why not? Regardless of your opinion about TLA’s extracurricular activities, the man is one of the best wrestlers here in EAW.

Jake Mercer: And some would argue that Jeffrey Epstein was a smart businessman, but that doesn’t mean his ‘extracurricular activities’ should go excused.

Flannery McCoy: At least TLA’s poons are consenting adults.

(An awkward silence falls across the broadcast booth as TLA slips inside the ring.)

(TLA’s music fades out and is replaced by “Ready for War” by Adelitas Way. All the cheers for TLA immediately turn to jeers.)

Stephie Love: AND HIS OPPONENT… FROM BROOKLYN, NEW YORK… WEIGHING IN AT 220 POUNDS… HE IS ‘THE KING’ DRAKE KING!!!!

(Drake walks onto the stage and begins to make his way down to the ring. As always, he trash talks the fans on his way down the ramp.)

Stew-O: After coming up short against Cage last week, Drake looks to rebound in a big way here tonight!

Flannery McCoy: No one doubts the fact that Drake King is a championship caliber athlete, and tonight he looks to prove that and get back into the win column against arguably the hottest Elitist in the company right now.

Jake Mercer: Drake definitely has championship aspirations here on Dynasty and if he can take care of the predator, he can certainly cement himself as someone who deserves to be in the conversation for a championship.

(Drake slides inside the ring and gets himself set for the match. TLA is also ready, and the referee calls for the bell.)

(Ding! Ding! Ding!)

Stew-O: Traditional collar and elbow tie up by these two as we officially get this match underway. It’s Drake King who takes control and brings TLA down onto the mat. TLA works his way out of Drake’s grip, and switches to the opposite side of Drake, grabbing him by the arm, and looking for an Oklahoma roll into a pin! Drake rolls through, gets back to his feet, nails TLA in the stomach with a kick, and grabs him by the wrist. Drake is working the wrist now, and he bends TLA’s arm behind his back, but TLA is reaching up though! He grabs Drake by the hair and is able to flip him down to the mat with a snapmare! TLA drops down, and immediately locks Drake into a sleeper hold!

Flannery McCoy: Drake is working his way back up to his feet though, and he is elbowing his way out of the sleeper! TLA is reeling and Drake uses the opportunity to whip TLA across the ring! TLA leapfrogs over Drake on the rebound… HE JUMPS ON THE ROPES!!! SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! TLA TAKES DOWN DRAKE AND TLA GOES FOR THE FIRST COVER OF THE MATCH!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWO-

Stew-O: Drake gets the shoulder up!

Jake Mercer: That’s definitely good news. The former Carolina Wrestling Coalition Super G1 Tournament winner is hard to keep down! Drake King defeated a monster of a man named Caleb Haxtin in the finals of that tournament back in 1998, in one of the most incredible professional wrestling matches ever! This man is no doubt a future World Heavyweight Champion!

Flannery McCoy: Drake King was 5-years old in 1998…

Jake Mercer: Clearly a child prodigy :wow:

Stew-O: Drake and TLA are both back to their feet now! TLA grabs Drake in a headlock, but Drake is quick to wrestle his way free! He slips around TLA, grabs him from behind, and takes TLA down with a German suplex! Drake mounts TLA and peppers him with a series of rights and lefts, and we all know TLA loves to fight! He fends Drake off, reverses their positions, and now he’s wailing away on the former Interwire Champion! TLA grabs Drake up by the hair and Irish whips him into the corner! Drake’s back slams into the turnbuckles and TLA flies forward, leaping up, and nailing Drake with a huge splash! TLA grabs Drake and runs him forward… BULLDOG INTO THE MAT! LA PANTERA SEXUAL HAS A HUGE SMILE ON HIS FACE AND HE’S SHOVING HIS FINGERS DOWN THE THROAT OF DRAKE KING!

Jake Mercer: Wow. That’s completely unsanitary and downright ridiculous.

Flannery McCoy: TLA with his version of the mandible claw and Drake is kicking and thrashing! Drake kicks his foot out towards the ropes and he’s able to get his toe on the bottom rope! The referee starts the count and TLA reluctantly removes his hand from Drake’s mouth and wipes the spit on the referee’s pants.

(The referee glares at TLA. TLA just shrugs and goes back to work.)

Flannery McCoy: TLA drags Drake away from the ropes and goes for a quick cover!

OOONNNEEE!!!

Jake Mercer: KICK OUT AT ONE!

Flannery McCoy: TLA pulls Drake up and sends him into the ropes! Drake is able to leap frog over TLA, and he comes flying back with the rebound! TLA drops down, avoiding Drake, and Drake stops! Drake looks to pull TLA up, but TLA catches Drake with a right hand! Drake stumbles back and TLA kips up, grabbing Drake by the wrist, hooking him, and bringing him down with an arm drag! He turns that into a pinning combination!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWOOO-

Jake Mercer: DRAKE TURNS IT INTO A CRUCIFIX!!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWOOOO-

Stew-O: TLA KICKS OUT!

Flannery McCoy: Both men are back up to their feet and they immediately lock up again! The collar and elbow tie up is quickly turned into a wrist lock by Drake King! He is wrenching the arm of TLA, and TLA is forced to drop down, and flip through! He kips up, shows off his athleticism, and is able to reverse that wrist lock to gain control of the match! He forces Drake back against the ropes, but Drake is able to step over TLA, take control back, and now he forces TLA back against the ropes! Drake maintains control of the arm, but he’s also letting loose shoot style kicks! Those are hitting their mark on TLA’s legs and thighs, and Drake draws TLA into the center of the ring! He takes TLA and throws him into the corner, and rushes forward! CORNER CLOTHESLINE!

Jake Mercer: Drake with a forearm, and he follows it up with a spinning back fist! Drake with a kick to the gut…. SUPERKICK TO TLA IN THE CORNER! TLA SLUMPS TO THE MAT AND DRAKE DEADLIFTS HIM UP! DRAKE WITH A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!!!! THE MAN WHO HAS BEEN ROMANTICALLY LINKED TO ZENDAYA AND CAMILA CABELLO GOES FOR THE COVER!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWOOOO!!!!

Flannery McCoy: TLA KICKS OUT!!!!

Stew-O: I have literally never heard of Drake King being linked to Zendaya or Camila. Didn’t Shawn Mendes just break up Camila’s relationship?

Jake Mercer: And that relationship was with Drake King. The two met in Havana and had been an item ever since. But now he’s moved on with Zendaya. They were dining at Sanford the other night, which you know is a highly exclusive spot here in Milwaukee.

Flannery McCoy: :skip:

Stew-O: Drake pulls TLA to his feet and drives his knee into La Pantera Sexual’s gut! Drake with clubbing blows to the back now, and TLA is dropped to his knees! Drake grabs TLA by the hair and slams his face into the mat! The aggressive side of Drake King is coming out now and he forces TLA towards the ropes! He picks TLA up in the air and drops him across the top rope!!!! TLA falls back to the mat and Drake is putting the boots to him! Drake is relentless right now, and now he’s got TLA and he’s shoved him into the corner!

Flannery McCoy: Drake with a forearm to the jaw, followed by a chop to the chest! He does this several more times before taking TLA and whipping him into the opposite corner! DISCUS FOREARM TO A CORNERED TLA!!!!

Jake Mercer: Drake picks up TLA and slams him down onto the mat! Drake drops a knee down to TLA’s head and he goes for a cover!!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

Stew-O: TLA gets the shoulder up!

Flannery McCoy: Drake pulls TLA up into a sitting position and climbs to his feet. He nails TLA with a huge kick right between the shoulder blades! TLA forces himself up to his knees, as Drake bends down to pull him up! TLA with a shot to the mid-section! And another! TLA lands another punch to Drake’s gut, and Drake is forced to let go and take a step back. TLA gets back to his feet but Drake catches him with an uppercut! Drake is able to send TLA into the corner, and he charges forward!

Jake Mercer: TLA gets the boots up though and he catches Drake in the face! Drake stumbles back and TLA hops on the top rope and flies off! Dropkick connects with Drake! Drake rolls to the ropes and tries to pull himself up, but TLA with a running knee that connects with Drake’s temple! Zendaya’s boyfriend and EAW’s true King finds himself draped across the middle rope! TLA grabs the ropes and drives his knee into the back of Drake’s neck! Come on, ref! He’s choking him! That’s such a dirtbag move but why am I not surprised?

Referee: ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR…

Stew-O: TLA lets up on Drake and takes a small step back! It’s just enough for the referee to deem it a clean break, and now TLA is right back to work! He takes Drake by the hair and rams him face first into the turnbuckle! TLA pulls Drake up and nails him with a forearm, and another… and another! VERY MEXICAN UPPERCUT! TLA WITH NOT ONE… NOT TWO… NOT THREE… NOT FOUR… BUT FIVE VERY MEXICAN UPPERCUTS IN A ROW! DRAKE KING IS IN TROUBLE AND LA PANTERA SEXUAL AND GRABS DRAKE BY THE HEAD AND DROPS DOWN! DRAKE’S FACE CONNECTS WITH TLA’S KNEES!!!!

Flannery McCoy: TLA GOES FOR THE COVER!!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWOOOO!!!!

TTTTTHHHHHRRRRR-

Jake Mercer: DRAKE’S FOOT IS ON THE ROPES!

Stew-O: Drake has great in-ring awareness, and that might have just saved him in this match.

Flannery McCoy: TLA pulls Drake up and he just absolutely unloads a huge ‘Swag Shot’! Drake nearly falls to the mat, but TLA catches him and begins beating the h*ll out of him with those forearm shots! TLA forces Drake into the corner and begins unloading rapid fire striking combinations!!! Drake is covering up… doing whatever he can to defend himself, but TLA is being relentless right now! TLA backs off and allows Drake to come staggering out of the corner! Drake is on spaghetti legs and TLA slips onto the apron! TLA SPRINGS TO THE TOP ROPE! SPRINGBOARD DRAGONRANA!!!! TLA HOOKS THE LEGS!!!! HOLY SH*T!!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWOOOO!!!!

TTTTTHHHHHRRRRREEEEEEEEE-

Stew-O: DRAKE KICKS OUT RIGHT AS THE REFEREE WAS ABOUT TO COUNT THE THREE!!!!

Jake Mercer: Drake showing the resiliency that has made him a future Hall of Famer! EAW’s very own Jeffrey Epstein takes Drake King and whips him across the ring! Drake manages to duck under a clothesline attempt and he rebounds… flying back at TLA! TLA jumps over Drake and he hits the ropes! Drake catches TLA on the rebound!!!! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB!!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWOOOO!!!!

TTT-

Flannery McCoy: TLA slams his legs together, which forces Drake to let go of the pin!!! Both men get back up and it’s TLA who lunges towards Drake, taking him down with a drop toe hold! TLA tries to get Drake in position for his version of the Lasso from El Paso, the ‘AR15’, but Drake is able to slip away and grab TLA in a front face lock! TLA battles back with some mat wrestling of his own, and he is able to grab Drake in a sleeper! He wraps his legs around Drake’s waist and makes sure he keeps his left shoulder up! Drake is reaching for TLA’s forearms, trying to break the grip, but TLA has the move cinched in pretty tightly! Drake flails his arms and legs, AND HE IS ABLE TO ROLL THEM OVER! DRAKE SHOWING INCREDIBLE FORTITUDE TO FORCE HIMSELF UP TO HIS KNEES AND HE IS BACK UP TO HIS FEET! HE RAMS TLA BACK FIRST INTO THE CORNER AND THAT FORCES TLA TO LET GO!

Stew-O: Drake takes a few seconds to get himself together before turning his attention back to TLA! But TLA is waiting and he strikes Drake in the jaw! TLA with another strike! Drake fires back with a right hand! TLA with a right! Drake with a right! TLA! DRAKE! TLA! DRAKE! TLA! DRAKE! BACK AND FORTH THESE TWO GO! IT’S TLA WHO FINALLY GAINS THE UPPER-HAND BY SLAMMING HIS KNEE INTO DRAKE’S GUT! VERY MEXICAN UPPERCUT!!!! DRAKE FALLS BACK AGAINST THE ROPES AND HE SLUMPS DOWN! TLA WITH A RUNNING KNEE!!!! HE DRAPES DRAKE ACROSS THE ROPES!!!! 305!!!! 619!!!! TLA GRABS DRAKE KING AND PLANTS HIM WITH A TIGER SUPLEX!!!! TLA WITH THE COVER!!!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWOOOO!!!!

TTTTTHHHHHRRRRREE-

Jake Mercer: DRAKE KING KICKS OUT!!! HOW IMPRESSIVE HAS DRAKE BEEN TONIGHT?! HE REFUSES TO STAY DOWN!!!!

Flannery McCoy: TLA GRABS DRAKE AND PULLS HIM UP!!! TLA LOOKING FOR THE ‘CARTEL KICK’ NOW!!!

Jake Mercer: NO!!! DRAKE DUCKS THE PELE KICK!!!!

Stew-O: KING’S WASTELAND!!! DRAKE WITH THE FALCON’S ARROW!!! DRAKE WITH THE COVER!!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWOOOO!!!!

TTTTTHHHHHRRRRREE-

Flannery McCoy: TLA KICKS OUT!!! DRAKE CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!!

Jake Mercer: DRAKE IS BACK TO HIS FEET AND HE IS STOMPING AWAY ON TLA!! HE JERKS TLA UP BY THE HAIR AND HOISTS HIM UP!!!!

Stew-O: BUT TLA KICKS HIS LEGS OUT AND DRAKE LOSES HIS GRIP! TLA DROPS BACK DOWN TO THE MAT AND HE GRABS DRAKE! ZIG ZAG! ZIG ZAG! ZIG ZAG! TLA HITS THE ZIG ZAG! DRAKE IS DOWN! TLA WITH THE COVER!!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWOOOO!!!!

TTTTTHHHHHRRRRREE-

Flannery McCoy: DRAKE WITH HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES AGAIN!!! TLA IS SHOOK!!!!

Stew-O: TLA IS UP NOW AND IT’S HIS TURN TO STOMP ON DRAKE! HE’S MAKING SURE TO STOMP ON THAT ANKLE SO DRAKE DOESN’T EVEN THINK OF TRYING TO PUT HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES AGAIN! TLA WITH A STANDING MOONSAULT THAT CONNECTS WITH DRAKE!!!! TLA SIGNALS TO THE TOP ROPE! I THINK HE’S GOING TO TRY AND FINISH THIS MATCH!!! TLA CLIMBS TO THE TOP ROPE AND HE GETS HIMSELF SET!!!!

Jake Mercer: BUT DRAKE ROLLS OUT OF THE RING AND DROPS TO THE FLOOR ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE RING!!!

Flannery McCoy: TLA climbs down and drops to the floor, making his way over to Drake! Drake forces himself up and cuts TLA off, greeting him with a running clothesline! TLA is taken down to the mat and Drake grabs TLA, throwing him into the steel ring steps! TLA gets himself into a sitting position and Drake runs towards TLA! BIG BOOT TO THE FACE! THE BACK OF TLA’S HEAD SLAMS INTO THE RING STEPS AND DRAKE JERKS HIM UP BY THE HAIR! HE SLAMS TLA’S FACE OFF THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING AND HE DOES THAT SEVERAL TIMES IN A ROW! THE REFEREE IS SCREAMING AT DRAKE TO GET THE MATCH BACK INTO THE RING BUT DRAKE IS NOT LISTENING!!!!

Stew-O: DRAKE WITH A SNAP SUPLEX TO THE GROUND AND HE GRABS TLA BY THE HAIR! HE THROWS TLA BACK INTO THE RING AND CLIMBS TO THE TOP ROPE! DRAKE GETS HIMSELF SET!!!

Jake Mercer: PHOENIX SPLASH! DRAKE KING WITH AN ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS PHOENIX SPLASH THAT CONNECTS ON TLA! DRAKE IMMEDIATELY HOOKS THE LEG!!!! DRAKE KING FOR THE WIN!!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWOOOO!!!!

TTTTTHHHHHRRRRREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Crowd: :lupe:!!!!

Flannery McCoy: LA PANTERA SEXUAL KICKED OUT!!!! HE KICKED OUT!!!!

Stew-O: DRAKE IS SHOCKED! HE CAN NOT BELIEVE TLA JUST KICKED OUT OF THAT! DRAKE RIPS AT HIS HAIR AND SLAMS HIS FIST DOWN INTO THE MAT!

Jake Mercer: IF DRAKE WASN’T SUCH A GOOD LITTLE CHRISTIAN BOY I’M SURE HE WOULD HAVE UTTERED A SWEAR WORD!

Flannery McCoy: Drake grabs TLA up, but TLA catches Drake with another ‘Swag Shot’! Drake fires back with his own open-handed slap and now both men are just beating the sh*t out of each other! Drake catches TLA with a knee and sends him reeling!!! TLA uses the ropes to push himself back forward and he catches Drake with a knee!!!! Drake falls back… ‘CARTEL KICK’!!!! TLA JUST CAUGHT DRAKE WITH THE ‘CARTEL KICK’!!!!! TLA IS BACK TO HIS FEET AND HE’S GOING TO THE TOP ROPE!!!!

Stew-O: TLA IS STANDING UP ON THE TOP ROPE NOW AND HE LAUNCHES HIMSELF OFF!!!! 420!!!! THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!!

Jake Mercer: DRAKE GOT HIS KNEES UP!!! TLA ROLLS TO THE SIDE AND GRABS HIS MIDSECTION AND THAT’S ALLOWING DRAKE TIME TO RECOVER!!! DRAKE KING, THE FORMER OLYMPIC ALTERNATE FOR THE UNITED STATES MEN’S ROWING TEAM BACK IN 2012, IS SLOWLY GETTING BACK TO HIS FEET!!!!

Flannery McCoy: DRAKE IS WAITING FOR TLA TO MAKE IT BACK UP! WE ALL KNOW WHAT’S COMING NEXT!!! DRAKE MAKES HIS MOVE!!!! ‘FALLEN KINGDOM’!!!! CURB STOMP TO TLA!!!!

Stew-O: DRAKE KING WITH THE COVER!!!!

OOONNNEEE!!!

TTTTWWWWOOOO!!!!

TTTTTHHHHHRRRRREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

(Ding! Ding! Ding!)

Stephie Love: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… HERE IS YOUR WINNER… DRAKE KING!!!!

(Drake’s theme begins to blast across the Fiserv Forum, and Drake rises to his feet. The referee raises Drake’s hand in victory, and the fans start to boo. They are not happy with the outcome of this match.)

Jake Mercer: Flawless! Bravo, King. Bravo!

Flannery McCoy: Drake King just scored his first victory as a member of the Friday Night Dynasty roster and in the process stops the roll TLA’s been on since Pain for Pride.

Stew-O: TLA put up a h*ll of a fight, but in the end, Drake was able to get a much needed victory and stop the losing streak he’s been on as of late. Congratulations to Drake King!

(We cut backstage as we see Jake Smith cheering on Drake King proudly.)

Jake Smith: That’s what I’m talking about! MAKE HIM KNEEL DRAKE! MAKE HIM KNE-

(A hand is placed on Jake’s shoulder as Smith freezes mid sentence. It’s Impact, as he leans in to Jake’s ear.)

Impact: Hey, kid. Don’t go out there and piss yourself. Alright? This is where the big boys go and if you choke this match away for me, I’ll be the one to make sure your ass is left bleeding in the middle of that ring alongside both Jack and Lethal. Got me?

Jake Smith: I-I got you! We won’t lose, we won’t!

Impact: Good…now stop licking this monitor and let’s go!

Jake Smith: Ok!

(Imp brushes past Jake and exits the scene as Jake takes a deep breath and gets pumped up for his match next. We cut to a commercial break as we see Landerson advertising Mountain Dew. “Here comes the boom, here comes the Dew” as Landerson raises his thumb up to the camera. We return ringside to see Stephie Love once more.)

Stephie Love: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OUR NEXT MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR

Crowd: ONE FALL!

(“Friend vs Friend” by Company Flow plays as boos rain down from all over the building. Out steps Lethal Consequences, looking very :dave: as he walks to the ring.)

Stephie Love: ON HIS WAY TO THE RING…HE COMES FROM OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA…WEIGHING IN AT 230 POUNDS…THE INEVITABLE…LEEEETHAL CONNNNNSEQUENCES!!!

Stew-O: Two time hall of fame member, former World champion, Lethal Consequences has been hell bent on getting back to the mountaintop! He has come close time and time again and Impact has typically been one of the obstacles blocking his way back to championship glory!

Flannery McCoy: Lethal is one of the toughest, meanest, vindictive, creative minds in wrestling history. Last week he sent a statement to the World champ when he left him bloody after his win against Jack Ripley. Tonight? Tonight, Ripley and Lethal team up to face Jake Smith and Impact in this highly anticipated match!

Jake Mercer: You think what Lethal did last week was bad? You you should have seen him in Oakland back in 03! Indy legend! He once broke 17 guitars over a girls head! Wasn’t even a match, he was just cracking her with so many guitars! It was crazy!

(Lethal rolls under the bottom rope and gets to his feet. Lethal twirls a bit, almost whimsically as he mocks the Milwaukee fans in attendance. Lethal stops and so does his music. “Stitch” by Wage War hits, and Jack Ripley makes his way out to the stage with a lot of energy, proudly wearing his National Elite Championship around his waist and underneath his vest. Lethal looks on unamused at his partner from inside of the ring. A look of determination is on his face as he aims to avenge his last week loss to Impact tonight.)

Stephie Love: AND HIS PARTNER, from Las Vegas, Nevada weighing in at 202 POUNDS!!!! HE IS THE NATIONAL ELITE CHAMPIOOONNNN… JAAAACCKKKKKKK RRRRIIPPPLEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!

Stew-O: The National Elite Champion faced the World Champion and came out empty handed. He still holds that title as he proclaimed beforehand he is going to make his championship the most prestigious title in EAW!

Flannery McCoy: On a show with Kassidy Heart as Universal Women’s Champ, Impact as World Heavyweight Champion, Ripley has a big task for himself this season! He also has a potential challenger for his title in this match!

Crowd: RIP-LEY! RIP-LEY! RIP-LEY!

(We see Ripley slide in the ring, as Lethal looks on uninspired by his partner. Lethal stares at his title, however, gleaming in the light as Ripley’s music fades and he stands on the turnbuckle with his belt in his hands high in the air as the entire building is cheering for him.)

Stephie Love: And their opponents…

(“Cunning Not Convincing” by Get Scared hits as the boos only grow louder. Lights are dimmed just for the intro, as soon as the vocals kicks in the lights abruptly turn on and start flashing as Smith enters the arena, with a cocky look he walks down the ramp with a smirk on his face with no sense of doubt.)

Stephie Love: And her opponent residing in Atlantic City, New Jersey weighing in at 210 pounds… “The Better One” JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE SMITH!!!

Stew-O: This young man is free of his former tag team partner Joshua Nicholls and is looking to rise to the top of this business alongside his partner and friend Drake King!

Flannery McCoy: Jake has a lot ahead of him and though he got a big win last week, it was clear he took advantage of a situation Fatal Destiny was having with Osamu Arcichida!

Jake Mercer: Maybe but I’m willing to call it right now, Jake Smith and Drake King will both be World Champion and National Elite champion this season! Look at his hair! Look at his confidence!

Flannery McCoy: He did not look that confident earlier when Ronan and Jason McKormick approached him and Drake! Maybe Impact’s pep talk inspired him?

Jake Mercer: This match is all the inspiration Jake needs!

(The music stops as Smith stands on the steel stairs and waits. He steps back down and leans against the barricade, relaxing, looking kind of badass as “Can I live” by Jay-Z begins. The entire building erupts as slowly walks out The EAW World Heavyweight Champion.)

Stephie Love: AND HIS PARTNER…from Seattle, Washington…Weighing in at 240 pounds…HE IS THE ELITE ANSWERS WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…IMMMMMMMPACT!!

Stew-O: Our EAW World Heavyweight Champion, last time we saw him he was beating Jack Ripley on the main event of the first episode of Friday Night Dynasty this season!

Flannery McCoy: We also saw Karlise Jerimiah being bloodied and beaten by one half of the opposing team as Impact and Lethal’s never ending feud raged on to close the show!

Jake Mercer: 17 guitars to some woman in Oakland! I seen Lethal do it! Imp got off lucky if you ask me!

(Impact walks over, climbs the apron grabs the rope and stands there as everyone looks confused. Impact tilts his head to Jake, no longer looking so bad ass, and points at him.)

Impact: Hey, Ashten Kutcher!

(Jake turns before realizing that he was talking to him.)

Impact: Get your ass in there and warm them up for me!

Jake Smith: Wha-! UGH!

(Jake pauses and sighs.)

Jake Smith: …Ok.

(Jake Smith enters the ring as does Lethal Consequences as both Champions stand on the apron.)

(Ding! Ding!)

Jake Mercer: It’s the old samurai vs the up incoming one as Jake Smith and Lethal Consequences lock up in the middle of the ring! Jake looks determined as he pushed back against Lethal Consequences but Lethal plants his feet and slowly pushes Jake back first in to a corner between Impact and Jack. Lethal puts his hand on Jake’s neck like Erik Killmonger did that poor black lady in Black Panther and chokes him as the referee rushes over! Hey, you guys seen Black Panther? Top five Marvel Cinematic Universe experience to m-

Flannery McCoy: HEY! Call the match, nerd!

Stew-O: Anywho, the ref begins counting to four as Lethal lets go of Jake Smith’s neck and steps away. Lethal raises both hands as he slowly steps back. Smith gathers himself as he begins to leave the corner…SLAP!

Flannery McCoy: HUGE OPEN PALM SLAP BY LETHAL AS JAKE HOLDS HIS CHEEK AND BACKS IN TO THE CORNER AGAIN!

Jake Smith: D-Did You just Sl-

SLAP!

Stew-O: Another open handed slap as Lethal’s hand meeting Jake’s face makes the entire building wince.

Lethal Consequences: :dave: C’mere ya’ bitch!

Flannery McCoy: ANOTHER SLAP…NO! Jake grabs his hand in mid air! Jake pulls and turns Lethal so that now he is the one back first to the turnbuckle stuck in the corner! ELBOW SMASH TO THE HEAD BY JAKE TO LETHAL! ANOTHER ELBOW STRIKE! ANOTHER STRIKE! Jake sprints away from the corner, reaches the opposite turnbuckle, turns right around, charges…RUNNING FOREARM SMASH TO LETHAL CONSEQUENCES! LETHAL BOUNCES OFF THE TURNBUCKLE, STAGGERS TO THE CENTER OF THE RING AS JAKE SMITH SEES HIM WALKING AWAY! CHOP BLOCK TO THE BACK OF THE LEG AS LETHAL DROPS TO ONE KNEE! JAKE GETS UP, WALKS OVER TO LETHAL ON ONE KNEE AND…

Stew-O: SLAP! JAKE SLAPS THE SPIT OUT OF LETHAL CONSEQUENCES MOUTH!

Jake Smith: KNEEL! GO FUCK YOUR ASS!

Jake Mercer: Double middle fingers to his face from Jake to LC! LC turns his head and he is pissed off as Jake steps back…SUPERKICK!

Flannery McCoy: NO! LETHAL CATCHES JAKES FOOT AS JAKE IS STUCK HOPPING ON ONE LEG! JAKE HE’S…WAVING HIM OFF, PLEADING! Lethal gets up to one foot, then two, he’s standing up holding Jake’s foot as Smith turns around, hopping, trying to reach Impact who is shaking his head. Lethal looks over to Imp as a sadistic smile crosses his face. LETHAL JERKS HIS LEG, SNAPPING JAKE’S BODY TOWARDS HIM!

Jake Mercer: LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! LETHAL FLIPS JAKE INSIDE OUT WITH THAT LARIAT! LOOKS LIKE THE SAME LARIAT CAGE HIT DRAKE KING WITH LAST WEEK! Lethal keeps his eyes on Impact as Jake convulses on the mat face down. Lethal laughs as he looks down at his fallen foe, rolling him over, going for the pin!

Ref: ONE…TWO…NO!!!

Flannery McCoy: Sick Lariat, can we see that one more time!

(A replay shows in slow motion Lethal Consequences flipping Jake Smith inside out and ends with a zoom in of Lethal’s face laughing and staring down the EAW World Champ.)

Stew-O: Lethal gets to his feet, dragging Jake Smith up with him. Stiff European uppercut from LC to Jake as Jake’s upper chest is turning red! Lethal sizes Jake up…KNIFE EDGE CHOP! He sizes him up again…KNIFE EDGE CHOP! Jake spins while trying to cover his now red chest! Lethal sees him turn his back to LC…

Impact: YOU STUPID IDIOT! DON’T DO THAT OR ELSE HE’S GONNA…

Jake Mercer: FLASHBACK! SLEEPERSLAM BACKBREAKER BENDS JAKE SMITH IN A WAY HE ISN’T USED TO BEING BENT AS LETHAL IS DOMINATING THIS MATCH! Imp has seen it all and has especially seen a lot of Lethal over the years so him trying to warn Jake Smith there was wise but Jake was already in position for that signature move as LC goes for another cover!

Ref: ONE…TWO…THR-NO!

Stew-O: Jake powers out as Impact is shaking his head at his partner. Lethal looks down at Jake and shakes his head, dragging him up by his feet, holding a handful of his hair.

Jake Mercer: Beautiful hair, fun fact…Jake Smith and I go to the same hair salon!

Flannery McCoy: Word. Lethal positions Jake to face Impact as he laughs frantically! Lethal wraps his hands in Jake’s hair as Jake sprints to make a tag! HE STOPS! INCHES SHORT! HAND REACHING OUT TO IMPACT WHO IS BEGGING TO TAG IN! LETHAL IS PULLING JAKE’S HAIR AND DRAGGING HIM BACK AND AWAY FROM HIS PARTNER!

Jake Mercer: MAYBE THIS WOULDN’T HAPPEN IF JAKE HAD KEPT HIS SHORTER HAIR STYLE FROM LAST YEAR BUT I DON’T KNOW, IT MIGHT JUST BE ME THINKING THIS!!

Stew-O: Jake is dragged back to the center of the ring by his hair as Lethal wraps his arms around his neck…LC BLOWS A KISS TO IMPACT AS HE CLUTCHES JAKE’S ENTIRE HEAD ON HIS SHOULDER…

ACID REIGN!!!!

NO!!!!

Flannery McCoy: JAKE REVERSES THE DIAMOND CUTTER FROM LETHAL! PARALYZER! PARALYZER HITS! JAKE SMITH HITS HIS SPINEBUSTER OUT OF NOWHERE AS LETHAL IS ON HIS BACK! Jake grabs his hair, checking to make sure it was still long and lush as he staggers to his corner and reaches for Imp! TAG! Imp is tagged in as Lethal rolls over and is now on all fours staring at Imp! Imp slowly makes his way into the ring and begins to walk towards Lethal who is on the ground looking a bit shocked! Imp cracks his knuckles and stops, he turns to Jake who is laying on the ring apron trying to climb up using the ropes!

Impact: You stay out of my damn way…I’m about to show you how to do this, you junior!

Stew-O: Imp turns as Lethal gets to his feet, balls up his fists, and the crowd is losing their minds right now! Lethal begins circling the ring, Imp is circling the ring, they are making Milwaukee go into a frenzy! IMP CHARGES! LC SPRINTS! LC…TURNS AND TAGS IN JACK RIPLEY!

Flannery McCoy: The fans begin booing as Ripley looks at LC confused at the tag. Ripley hops in and squares up with Impact as the two champions of Dynasty go at it for a second week in a row! Ripley runs at Imp and they both start trading blows! Punch from Rip! Forearm smash from Imp! Rip clocks Imp with a stiff clothesline, knocking him down briefly! Imp gets back up and ducks a second clothesline from Rip and KNIFE EDGE CHOP BY IMP TO RIPLEY! Impact grabs Jack and irish whips him! Rip comes charging but is caught and lifted by Impact! TILT-A-WHIRL BACK BREAK-

Jake Mercer: NO! Jack spins around and hops out of the potential backbreaker! Jack is standing behind Impact, he grabs the back of his shoulders…DOUBLE KNEE BACKBREAKER! JACK REVERSES IMP’S BACK BREAKER AND HITS ONE OF HIS OWN! Jack rolls to his feet, drops down, and hooks the leg as he goes for the pin!

Ref: One…T-NO!

Flannery McCoy: Imp kicks right out as Ripley grabs him by the neck and gets him to his feet. KNEE TO THE GUT BY JACK! He bends Imp forward and hooks him…SNAP SUPLEX SENDS THE WORLD CHAMP BACK ON THE GROUND!

Jake Mercer: HE GETS KNOCKED DOWN, JACK IS PICKING IMP APART RIGHT NOW! Jack said last week he was returning to Dynasty as a different man! No longer in the shadows of the one percent, far removed from the betrayal he faced from his own flesh and blood, no longer looked at as just a tag team star…National Elite Champion Jack Ripley is here to prove to not just everyone but himself that he is the real deal!

Stew-O: Jack is getting Imp back up and he is now standing behind Imp…RIPPLE EFFECT!

Flannery McCoy: NO! IMP FLIPS OVER AND AVOIDS THE VERTEBREAKER AS JACK TURNS AROUND! SPINNING WHEEL KICK! IMP CATCHES JACK RIPLEY RIGHT IN THE MOUTH WITH THAT ONE!

Stew-O: Ripley is on his back as Impact slowly gets to his feet. Jake Smith cheers on his partner as LC spits on the mat ringside at his disgust at whats happening! Impact steps back and waits as Ripley gets to his feet. STEP UP ENZIGURI! HIS FOOT SLAPS THE BACK OF RIPLEY’S HEAD AS JACK DOESN’T FALL BUT IS CLEARLY DAZED! Impact gets up, sprints to the ring ropes, tag, charges back, BULLDOG!! IMPACT drives Ripley’s head in to the mat with that beautiful bulldog. Jake Smith is slowly climbing into the ring as Imp sees Jack Ripley roll over to his back while covering his face with his hands after the bulldog. Impact sprints to the ropes, jumps on the middle one, FLIPS MAGNIFICENTLY IN THE AIR, BAM!

Flannery McCoy: FLIGHT SIGHTS! THE LIONSAULT HITS AS IMPACT SQUASHES JACK’S MIDSECTION, ROLLS TO HIS KNEES, HOOKS THE LEG, AND GOES FOR THE COVER!

Ref: NO! YOU AREN’T THE LEGAL MAN! NO!

Stew-O: WAIT, WHAT? Impact is covering Jack Ripley but the referee won’t count?

Flannery McCoy: He’s saying he isn’t the legal man? But?

Jake Mercer: Oh, you guys didn’t see the tag? :troll: Jake tagged in Impact right as he hit the ropes! Jake is the legal man!

Stew-O: Jake Smith saw the momentum Impact had and tagged himself in! He watches as Impact stares a hole in to his face as Impact gets to the ring apron and gives Jake the middle finger! Smith smirks, a cocky grin on his face, mocking his tag team partner, and drags Ripley to the center of the ring! Jake himself now goes for the cover!

Ref: ONE…TWO…THREE!!!

NO!!!

Flannery McCoy: KICK OUT BY RIPLEY! Jake took too long and Impact may have had the match won had Jake not tagged himself in! Jake looks shocked, he turns to Imp who is shaking his head on the apron. Jake smiles, gets up, walks to Imp and asks for a tag!

Jake Smith: C’mon, Champ! Gone and finish the job!

Stew-O: Imp shakes his head, he points to the ring as Jake shrugs his shoulders. Smith turns around…YOU’LL FLOAT TOO!!! JACK RIPLEY FIRES OFF A BEAUTIFUL SUPERKICK AS JAKE’S HEAD TWISTS AROUND AND HE MAKES EYE CONTACT WITH IMP ON THE APRON! RIPLEY is dazed, holding his ribs! RIPLEY WALKS TO HIS CORNER, HE CLIMBS THE TOP ROPE, HE POINTS TO JAKE’S KNOCKED OUT BODY! Ripley signals for it, tag, RIPLEY FLIES OFF THE TOP ROPE! BELIEVE IT OR NOT!!! JACK RIPLEY HITS A BEAUTIFUL SHOOTING STAR PRESS ON TO JACK SMITH AS

Jake Mercer: DID YOU MISS THE TAG AGAIN? LETHAL TAGGED HIMSELF IN AS JACK WAS ON THE TURNBUCKLE! LETHAL HOPS IN TO THE RING, HE GRABS JACK RIPLEY, HE THROWS HIS PARTNER AT IMPACT AS BOTH MEN COLLIDE AND IMP FALLS OFF THE APRON AND RIPLEY DROPS DOWN TO THE CORNER! LC GOES FOR THE COVER ON JAKE SMITH!

Ref: ONE…TWO…THREE!!!

(Ding! Ding! Ding!)

Stephie Love: Here is your winner…JACK RIPLEY AND LETHAL CONSEQUENCES!

Flannery McCoy: LC stole it! He stole the win from his partner! Ripley had Jake Smith down and Lethal steals the tag!

Jake Mercer: It’s not stealing, it’s just what he does! Lethal saw his chance to stop this match and leave with a win and he did it! His win is Rip’s win too!

Flannery McCoy: I don’t know, Ripley doesn’t quite look amused!

(Ripley gets up and gets right in LC’s face as “Friend vs Friend” blasts out of the speakers. Ripley shoves LC who looks on incredulous and unmoved.)

Stew-O: Jack Ripley had this match won and LC pulled the rug out from under him. He turned the National Elite champ in to a lawn dart basically!
Jack Ripley: You stupid old man! The hell is your problem?! I had him beat! ONE! TWO! THREE!

Lethal Consequences: Shut up, chump! If you had him you would of had him. You didn’t, I did, now thank me for my services! Got me, Riptide?

Flannery McCoy: WAIT! Impact has snuck in behind LC! HE HAS THE WORLD TITLE IN HIS HANDS. Ripley is smirking, backing away from LC, as LC is smiling. Ripley leans against the ropes as LC laughs and turns to celebrate…BAM!

Stew-O: TITLE TO THE FACE! IMPACT BASHES THE WORLD TITLE IN LC’S FACE! BLOOD…BLOOD STARTS POUR FROM HIS MOUTH! LC ROLLS ON THE MAT AND EXITS THE RING, FACE DOWN RING SIDE AS IMPACT STARES OUTSIDE THE RING AT HIS FALLEN OPPONENT!

Flannery McCoy: JAKE…JAKE SMITH IS UP, HE’S HOLDING HIS RIBS AS HE LOOKS AND SEES HIS PARTNER!

Jake Smith: Did…did we win? Di-did they kne-

RIPPLE EFFECT!

Stew-O: JACK RIPLEY HITS THE RIPPLE EFFECT ON JAKE SMITH AS IMPACT STANDS THERE WATCHING! Both champions are standing as both challengers lay on the mat and ring side in a bad shape!

Jake Mercer: You’d think by how things ended that Impact and Ripley were on the same team and Lethal and Jake were the ones that lost!

Flannery McCoy: LC is ring side crawling away from the ring, holding his mouth, trying to stop the blood from pouring from his busted lip!

Jake Mercer: Great showing from Jake and good win for Lethal but the champs are standing tall despite being on opposite sides of the ring this match!

(Jack Ripley rolls out of the ring, grabs his belt, and rolls back in, raising his title for all to see. Impact smirks, looking at his World title covered in LC’s blood, and blows a meek kiss at it as he stares down Ripley and the show transitions backstage. We see Michael Belfort standing backstage as we see him holding a microphone and side by side with a man in a leather jacket.)

Michael Belfort: Ladies and Gentlemen, this man defeated Drake King last week and will be facing Darkane tonight…Cage!

(Cage appears in frame as fans go wild.)

Crowd: CAGE! CAGE! CAGE!

Michael Belfort: Last week you had a near classic bout with Drake King on the first episode of this season on Friday Night Dynasty. After the match, you tried to show Drake a bit of respect after getting the better of him and Drake…proceeded to slap you and disrespect you! Cage, how are you feeling tonight?

Cage: Feelings…they aren’t complicated for me tonight. I feel good, I feel fine, I feel prepared. Drake King was butt hurt, a lot of people end up that way when they go one on one with me. I beat him in the middle of that ring and obviously that hurt his ego. I poked his eyes, yeah. So? I did what I needed to do to beat him but nope! He couldn’t handle that! Fragile egos, emotional children…that’s what I have to deal with here. Thing is, I don’t have to deal with Drake or his emo tendencies. I have another emo foe to deal with tonight in the main event!

Michael Belfort: Darkane, that’s right! You vs Darkane tonight in the main event! Darkane spoke candidly last week, wondering where he would go following his Pain for Pride ending and the draft. Darkane is looking around and seemingly is ready to take back over this show. What do you think about what he said last week?

Cage: He talked about brutalizing people at Pain for Pride, saying he swept through that ring like a hurricane yet the only thing devastated was him in the end! Darkane did not get the job done back then, he won’t be getting the job done tonight either.

Michael Belfort: You expecting another amazing match this week?

Cage: No…I’m expecting a fucking fight!

(Cage shoulder bumps Michael Belfort as he leaves and heads for the ring.)

Stew-O: DARKANE VS CAGE…NEXT!!

( DING! DING! DING! )

Stephie Love: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! And it is your FRIDAY NIGHT DYNASTY MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!!!!

( “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana plays, and Diamond Cage walks out to the ring dressed to compete. )

Stephie Love: Introducing first, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 227 POUNDS!!! “EXPLICIT CONTENT”, DIIIIAMMMOOONNDDDD CAAAAAAAGEEEEE!!!!

Stew-O: Flannery what can we expect from Diamond Cage tonight, in his first Dynasty main event in three years?

Flannery McCoy: Well let’s take into account the environment Cage is walking into! He is meeting an opponent who shares many similarities and traits with himself. We are basically about to see a dream match, and in some ways Stew Cage may be competing with a younger version of himself. I think it’s incumbent upon Cage to prove tonight in, as you said, his first major match up on the red brand, that the current version of Cage is the most dangerous version of Cage – and still the most dangerous Elitist in EAW.

( “My Own Summer (Shove It)” by Deftones hits, and Darkane walks through the curtain, looking around at the rabid audience giving him a thunderous ovation. Darkane takes a casual stroll down the ramp and into the ring. )

Stephie Love: His opponent, from New Orleans, Louisiana weighing in tonight at 240 POUNDS!!! “THE GRAVE WORM”, DAAAAARRRRKAAAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Stew-O: And Jake what does a win over the likes of Diamond Cage do for this young man Darkane?

Jake Mercer: “The likes of Diamond Cage.” :heh: Cage’s prime is over, Stew! Darkane sure as hell isn’t my favorite, but you can bet your ass he’s the fav Cage used to be a movement, but the buzz just isn’t what it used to be. He was so oversaturated in Season 12, and I’m sorry but Darkane is the younger, superior, evolved version of Diamond Cage for a reason! That’s why Darkane headlined Pain for Pride and held his own in a match NOBODY thought he should have even been in.

( DING! DING! DING! )

Stew-O: Here we go now at the onset of this main event match, and both Cage and Darkane bolt towards each other in a hurry! Darkane ducks the wild swing from Cage! Cage turns around! KNOCKED DOWN BY A BIG TIME UPPERCUT!

Jake Mercer: WHAT A SHOT!!!!

Stew-O: Cage rolls over to the ropes flabbergasted, and drags himself up in a hurry before being hit with a knee square in the midsection! Flurry of punches from Darkane! Cage barely able to protect himself, and Darkane TOSSES DIAMOND CAGE ACROSS THE RING WITH A BIG TIME BEAL! A bewildered Cage scrambling to his feet using the corner — STINGER SPLASH!!! DARKANE CAUGHT HIM EARLY WITH A BIG ONE!!! HE TAKES CAGE OUT OF THE CORNER BY THE NAPE OF THE NECK, RUNS HIM INTO THE ROPES, DEVIL!!!!!!!!! MAY!!!!!!! CRY!!!!!!!

Flannery McCoy: CAGE CLINGS TO THE ROPES! DARKANE DECIDES TO BULL RUSH IN FOLLOWING THE HESITATION, LIFTING KICK TO THE FACE FROM DC. Now he follows suit, knocks Darkane down with an impactful lariat. Darkane recovers, back elbow hits Darkane square in the nose! Cage quickly drags Darkane up from the floor, hoists him onto his shoulders looking for USHIGOROSHI!!! Darkane struggles out of it as much as he can, Cage trying his best to keep Darkane above ground but Darkane lands on his feet behind him and pummels him with headbutts to the back of the skull! Darkane drags Cage up by the nape of his neck and TOSSES HIM OVER THE ROPES, DUMPING HIM UNCEREMONIOUSLY TO THE OUTSIDE.

Jake Mercer: Not so fast! Cage lands on the apron, and Darkane drags the upper body of Cage in the ring through the 2nd and 3rd ropes, and begins CLUBBING HIS CHEST WITH A FLURRY OF HAMMER-LIKE BLOWS! WITH NO GIVE! ABSOLUTELY NO RESTRAINT! SHOT AFTER SHOT JUST BANGING INTO THE SOLAR PLEXUS OF THE FORMER EAW CHAMPION, THAT CAN BE ECHOED THROUGH OUT THE ARENA! Cage drags himself out of Darkane’s grasp, hanging on to the apron by a thread and clutching his chest, and DARKANE, FOLLOWING RUNNING THE ROPES, BLASTS CAGE ACROSS THE TEMPLE WITH A YAKUZA KICK!!!! CAGE DROPS OFF THE APRON AFTER HIS HEAD IS NEARLY KICKED OFF! HE RECOVERS, BARELY AWARE OF WHERE HE IS, ON SPAGHETTI LEGS NO LESS — SUICIDE DIVE FROM THE GRAVE WORM!!! SENDING CAGE INSIDE OUT!!!

Stew-O: Darkane clapping it up for himself, and the fans joining in giving him praise for that onslaught! Darkane drags Cage up from the floor as the referee begins his count, and he slides Cage’s body back in the ring with the top half of his torso draped out over the apron. And BATTERS a nasty elbow right into the throat! Darkane slowly, methodically enters the ring while watching Cage squirm around favouring his larynx. Darkane peppers him with precise closed fist shots! Cage being backed into the corner! He has not been able to get anything going for himself, and Darkane is joining in left hand hooks to go with his rights! Cage covering up the best he can, and he manages to stop the onslaught with a couple of stomps to the legs, and a well placed kick to the midsection! Cage springs up to the middle rope and takes Darkane to the ground with a diving elbow drop, against the standing Darkane! Lateral press!

Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!! TWO-

Flannery McCoy: Very little effort needed from Darkane to kick out of that! Cage isn’t wasting any time now, delivering stomps on Darkane who is already trying to rapidly recover! He grabs ahold of the wrist, and delivers a BITCHMAKER SLAP!!!!! ……. THAT JUST PISSED DARKANE OFF! ….. DARKANE CHARGES INTO CAGE AND DRIVES HIM INTO THE CORNER, TEEING OFF AS ANGRILY AS HE CAN! CAGE MANEUVERS BEHIND DARKANE HOWEVER AND MUSCLES HIM, POWERS HIM UP AND INTO THE CORNER WITH A SNAP GERMAN SUPLEX! Now Cage follows suit, stomping an absolute mudhole in the corner! Almost like a corner version of the Idiot Stampede! Darkane’s eating over half a dozen angry boots right into his jaw, and Cage drags Darkane up and out of the corner with the double underarm hook…. DEATH ROW MAY BE ON ITS WAY!!!!!!

Stew-O: DARKANE BREAKS THE GRASP! AND COUNTERS WITH A T-BONE SUPLEX!!! CAGE HITS THE GROUND HARD, BUT HE RECOVERS WHILE FAVOURING THE SMALL OF HIS BACK! AND RUSHES BULLHEADEDLY INTO A THUNDEROUS SPINEBUSTER BY DARKANE!!!! FOLLOWS UP WITH A KNEELING PIN, PROPPING UP BOTH LEGS!

Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Stew-O: DARKANE MUSCLES CAGE UP FROM THE FLOOR!!! POWERING HIM UP! POWERING HIM UP! AND DROPS HIM BACK ON HIS NECK WITH THE GANSO BOMB!!! THE MOMENTUM FROM THE IMPACT OF THAT MOVE BRINGS CAGE UP TO HIS KNEES, BARELY EVEN AWARE OF WHERE HE IS! BANG!!!! HE’S TAKEN OUT WITH A SPIT KNOCKING SHINING WIZARD!!!! DARKANE HOOKING BOTH LEGS OF HIS OPPONENT!

Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Jake Mercer: You’ve got to be freaking kidding me! Somehow Cage is still in this!

Stew-O: DID YOU SEE HOW CAGE LANDED ON THE BACK OF HIS NECK FROM THAT GANSO BOMB? I’M SURPRISED THAT DIDN’T PARALYZE HIM!

Flannery McCoy: Absolutely insane! That was one of the roughest landings I’ve seen in a long time! Darkane seems to know that, despite the near fall, he is FIRMLY in control of this match, and now Darkane slowly paces himself over to the corner to stalk his prey! It is taking a lot out of Cage to stir around the way that he is, but it looks like he’s trying – at the very least – to will himself back into this.

Jake Mercer: Yeah but I don’t think he has any idea of what’s coming! Cage is dazed, his brains have been scrambled, if not by that nasty Ganso Bomb then certainly by the follow up Shining Wizard he took! Cage has no idea he’s about to be broken in half!

Stew-O: WELL HE’S ABOUT TO FIND OUT!!! DARKANE TAKES OFF!!! DEVIL!!!!!!!!!!! MAY!!!!!!!!!!! CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RIPPING THROUGH THE- NO WAY, WAIT A SECOND! CAGE JUMPS OVER DARKANE! CAGE JUMPS OVER THE SPEAR! AND HE LATCHES ON TO DARKANE FROM BEHIND, WITH THE COQUINA CLUTCH!!!!!! DARKANE CAUGHT COMPLETELY OFF GUARD! WHETHER HE WAS PLAYING POSSUM OR SIMPLY CAME TO HIS WITS AT THE RIGHT TIME AND PLACE, CAGE HAS MANAGE TO SNAP HIS ARMS AROUND DARKANE’S THROAT, AND HE’S NOT LETTING GO! SENSATIONAL COUNTER FROM THE 2018 ELITIST OF THE YEAR!

Flannery McCoy: AND HE’S SHOWING THAT HE WON THAT AWARD FOR A REASON! DARKANE IS FIGHTING WITH EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER, BUT CAGE IS UPPING THE INTENSITY WITH EVERY SECOND THAT PASSES BY! DARKANE DOWN TO A KNEE, CAGE TORQUING THE NECK WITH HIS LEFT HAND WHILE THE RIGHT ARM IS PLACED PERFECTLY! DARKANE IS TRYING AS HE MIGHT TO PHYSICALLY RIP APART THE COQUINA CLUTCH, BUT IT’S NOT GOING TO PAN OUT THAT WAY! CAGE HAS ASSUMED CONTROL SO QUICKLY, PRACTICALLY IN ONE FELL SWOOP!

Jake Mercer: HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

( Cage releases the Coquina Clutch, as he notices someone has hopped the barricade and rushed up the apron from behind. )

Stew-O: DRAKE KING IS ON THE APRON! DIAMOND CAGE STAMPEDES OVER TO KING, SWINGING WILDLY TO SEND HIM OFF THE APRON! Drake hops off before the punch connects! BUT CAGE DELIVERS A ROPE-AIDED BASEMENT DROPKICK THROUGH THE ROPES, CATCHING DRAKE KING ACROSS HIS FACE, TAKING HIM TO THE GROUND! Cage steps through the ropes seeing nothing but red right about now, and rips King up by his hair, before taking him up right in front of us! WATCH OUT WATCH OUT!!!!

Jake Mercer: BACK SUPLEX DIRECTLY INTO THE COMMENTARY TABLE!!!! HE JUST POPPED UP DRAKE KING IN THE AIR SO HIGH, AND SENT HIM CRASHING DOWN ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MADMAN?

Flannery McCoy: Cage drags Drake King up and flings him back into the ring! He’s got enough fight in him to take on Drake King in the middle of a match with a completely different opponent! Only Diamond Cage, folks! Drake scrambling up to his feet, and Cage comes charging right after him, only for Drake to jump through the ropes at the opposite side of the ring! Cage is about to follow him out — LOOK OUT LOOK OUT!!!!

Stew-O: DEVIL!!!!! MAY!!!!!!! CRY!!!!!! CAUGHT HIM SLIPPING! AND DARKANE AS A RESULT HAS JUST RIPPED CAGE COMPLETELY IN HALF WITH THE SPEAR TO THE SPINE!!!!!! HE COLLAPSES OVER HIM WITH THE HOOK OF THE LEG!!!!!

Ref: OOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

( DING! DING! DING! )

( “My Own Summer (Shave It)” by Deftones hits, and Darkane rises to his feet and has his arm raised by the official. )

Stephie Love: Here is your winner… DAAARRRKAAAANNNNEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Flannery McCoy: You can’t take anything away from Darkane for the perceptiveness and the opportunism, nabbing this match while Cage’s back was turned off of the distraction of Drake King. Especially with how well he performed from bell to bell!

Jake Mercer: DIAMOND CAGE GOT EXACTLY WHAT HE DESERVED! HE SUCKED TONIGHT, I DON’T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS! HE HAD ONE GREAT COUNTER AND THAT WAS IT! THIS WAS ONE OF THE WORST PERFORMANCES OF HIS CAREER! HE HAD A CHANCE TO FINISH THIS AFTER DARKANE WAS KNOCKING THE SPIT OUT OF HIM FROM PILLAR TO POST! HOW THE HELL DO YOU LET SOMEBODY BAIT YOU OUT OF A VICTORY THAT WAS LITERALLY IN YOUR GRASP?

Stew-O: I certainly won’t make any excuses for Cage, but there’s a great chance this match could have turned out a different way had Drake King not showed up to distract him. But I agree with you Flannery, you can’t really take anything away from Darkane, he was on fire tonight, and deserves this victory!

( Diamond Cage is down at ringside holding the small of his back. Drake King slowly walks over to him while Darkane continues his celebration in the ring. )

Flannery McCoy: What’s Drake King planning to do here…

( Cage painstakingly drags himself up to one knee, still very much depleted in strength following the vicious spear. Drake King stands over him, looks him in his eyes, and — )

Stew-O: VICIOUS SLAP TO THE FACE!!!! HE JUST SLAPPED THE ABSOLUTE HELL OUT OF AN ALREADY EXHAUSTED CAGE, ADDING INSULT TO INJURY FOR THE 2ND WEEK IN A ROW!

( Drake King walks away with a satisfied look on his face, and Diamond Cage remains at the ringside floor writhing. Darkane continues to soak in his victory, unapologetic about the means of which he won. )

(EAW Logo Buzzes.)