(EAW intro plays.)
(A recap of last week’s episode is shown. It starts with the World Heavyweight Champion, The Visual Prophet, boasting about himself before shittalking his challenger at House of Glass, Mr. DEDEDE, giving him a reason as to why he isn’t playing around this time around against him. It then continues forward where Veena Adams gets a shocking win over Alexis Chambers to progress in the Specialists Tournament. It then goes to SEBAS calling out Limmy Monaghan in the ring, after a back and forth in arguments they settle for a match at House of Glass. Kensingten Calhoun-Astor gets a win over Nina Bravo after Jalyn Garcia comes in and costs Nina the match. Then after that Dray Fontana cuts a promo in the ring which is interrupted by MITSUBACHI and Komatsu Ogawa, they settle for a match the week after and if MITSUBACHI wins then he gets a chance against Dray to fight for the PURE Championship at House of Glass. Continuing on with the PURE Champion, Dray Fontana gets a well needed win over a returning Mason Massacre. Afterwards backstage Nina Bravo confronts Jalyn Garcia after her match to get answers for Jalyn’s actions. Jalyn simply stated that Nina had found an enemy in him after she didn’t listen to his advice. It then goes on to Limmy Monaghan getting a very shocking win over Lethal Consequences which is possibly one of his biggest victories to date. Adam Lucas then has a backstage interview confirming he is who Dynasty traded for as it’s interrupted by Mason Massacre who keeps a close eye on him as the tension builds between the two. Big Mike then gives Chris Elite a pep talk backstage as he motivates him to steamroll through the competition including Xander come House of Glass. Which then leads to of course Elite beating MITSUBACHI in a highly contested matchup. It then goes to Jake Smith who makes his return to Dynasty being confirmed as another elitist traded as he makes his intentions known before Lethal Consequences interrupts him and engages in an argument. Before anything can happen Harper Lee comes out which leads to her and Jake’s match in which Jake beats her using dirty tactics and a LEGO Table in order to do so. Andre Walker then comes out to make his intentions known after winning the New Breed Championship at Territorial Invasion placing himself high on the totem pole. The Mint Lads, Jamie O’Hara & Ahren Fournier then went on to beat Kings X Unlocked, Xander Payne & Andre Walker to advance in the Grand Prix. Serena Bennett then comes out to make herself known as she’s abruptly interrupted by Showdown elitist Harlow Reichert who comes out to make a challenge to her and put herself into the title picture. Then in the main event The Liquid Swordz, Mr. DEDEDE & Impact, beat PRIDE & HONOR, SKA & SEBAS, to advance forward in the Grand Prix as that ends the recap)
(The theme for Dynasty plays as the camera pans around the World 1 Theatre with a bustling crowd as the stage erupts in a beautiful array of red and black as the crowd symbolizes a moshpit of sorts as they’re clearly hyped for what’s to come tonight. The camera pans over to the broadcasting booth as Stew-O, Flannery McCoy, and Jake Mercer are seen with smiles on their faces as always as they begin to speak)
Stew-O: We are on the go home show to House of Glass and ladies and gentlemen we welcome you as always… to FRIDAY NIGHT DYNASTY!
Jake Mercer: YESSIR WELCOME TO THE IMPACT ZONE! I COULDN’T BE MORE READY!
Flannery McCoy: Oh boy do we have a show for you tonight! Tons of Grand Prix action as in our main event we have the team of The Visual Prophet and Serena Bennett known as the Shea Butter Babies facing the team of Ryan Wilson and Christian DeMarco otherwise known as Team Wilson as that should be interesting to see how it plays out!
Stew-O: And of course we can’t forget the other two tag matches that we have on the card involving the Grand Prix as we have the Mile High Club facing the House of Leaders as there is sure to be high velocity tension between those two teams for more reasons than one! And not forgetting the Blicky Boyz going against Comeback SZN as all building up to the culmination at Road To Redemption.
Jake Mercer: THAT’S TOO FAR GONE MAN! LET’S FOCUS ON THE FACT THAT HOUSE OF GLASS IS A WEEK FROM NOW! WOOP WOOP! LEZ GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! GIVE IT TO ME! THE WHOLE LOAD-
Jake Mercer: :krabs:!!!
(The camera transitions to ringside where StarrStan, Veena Adams, and the traditional board-room table and chairs set up are arranged in the center of the ring for the contract signing to be held between Harlow Reichert and Serena Bennett for their Universal Women’s Championship match at House of Glass, “2nd Sucks” by A Day To Remember playing throughout the PA system of the World 1 Theatre.)
Flannery McCoy: Ladies and gentlemen, just last week, Harlow Reichert accepted an offer from Serena Bennett to challenge for the Universal Women’s Championship at House of Glass! In just a few moments, the Dynasty co-GM team is prepared to host a contract signing between both women just a week before the free-per-view!
Stew-O: Serena will be expected to defend her title not even a full three weeks after her defense against Candice Blair on Dynasty earlier this month in a stipulation that was announced just a few nights ago. It’ll be Harlow versus Serena in RED WALLZ!
Jake Mercer: This match will be a first for both competitors and a slightly ironic one considering the reason for their confrontation last week was due to their discrepancies regarding one another’s in-ring technical skills. I, for one, am very much looking forward to seeing that thicc ass beautiful bi–
Flannery McCoy: :mjpls:
Jake Mercer: Erm, woman again on the Dynasty product. And of course to see Serena get her ass ripped to absolute shreds inside of Red Walls. 🤩
(As Jake finishes his commentary, StarrStan, standing at the neutral end of the table raises the microphone to his mouth as “2nd Sucks” dies down, the virtual audience showing their enthusiasm for the evening’s opening segment. As she grips onto the portfolio holding the contract tightly while standing by StarrStan’s side, Veena Adams looks around at the audience’s screens, repulsed by their support for two women she refuses to acknowledge as worthwhile Universal Women’s Championship contenders.)
StarrStan: Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome you all to another action-packed edition of EAW’s Friday Night Dynasty! In just a few moments, we’ll be welcoming the number one contender to the champion, Harlow Reichert, in order to sign a contract–
Veena Adams: And a health waiver! 😄
StarrStan: –for her match at House of Glass against the Universal Women’s Champion, Serena Benn–
(“Surfin’ [ft. Pharrel Williams]” by Kid Cudi begins to play throughout the World 1 Theatre speakers, much to the surprise of both members of the Dynasty managerial team. As blue and white flashing lights begin to dance around the inside of the Theatre, the virtual audience bursts into cheers while Serena Bennett steps out onto the stage, wearing a custom black-and-blue diamond encrusted Puma tracksuit, and begins her descent to the ring, Universal Women’s Title held high in the air.)
Stew-O: And it appears as though Serena doesn’t want to waste any time getting this contract signing out of the way! It’s not every day that you see our general manager interrupted this way. :wow:
Jake Mercer: And that’s exactly why it’s time for that gangbanging hoodrat to be put back in her place, be taught a thing or two about respect in this business!
Flannery McCoy: I wouldn’t take it as a sign of disrespect, moreso, enthusiasm for the unique opportunity she has heading into her THIRD hardcore-themed free-per-view matchup this season. :whew:
(Serena enters the ring and seats herself comfortably on the first of the two office chairs, kicking her feet up so that the blue bottoms of her custom Puma wrestling boots are now visible. She smiles at both Veena and Starr as she scoops up the microphone positioned in front of her, subconsciously adjusting the Universal Women’s TItle over her shoulder as “Surfin’” fades out.)
Serena Bennett: Forgive the interruption, StarrStanley, but I’m about ready to get this shit over with, ain’t you?
Veena Adams: Trust me, I’d have much rather dedicated segment space this evening to something a little more worthwhile. You’re not alone, Serena.
Serena Bennett: That’s crazy, but I ain’t ask you. I was talkin’ directly to Stanley, and letting him know straight up I have little to no intention wastin’ my time out here with no itty bitty D-Show, Showdown degenerate discussing the details of my title match. Like at all. It’s bad enough Vizzy and I gotta face that poor excuse of a general manager and his fuckin’ bitch boi later this evening, but now I’m forced to deal with that directionless loser in Harlow fuckin’ Reichert at a free-per-view. It’s madness, I tell you, madness.
StarrStan: Serena, this would go much, much easier if you just allowed us to do what we have to do tonight and get this contract signing underway. Do I have your word that you’ll cooperate with us this evening?
Serena Bennett: Well, I showed up early, didn’t I? Damn. You don’t gotta worry ‘bout me at all, instead, you better make sure that fugly lil’ “IcE QuEeN” stays in her lane, with them uneven titties and shit. Matter fact, this ring is overcapacity, Stanley, have you no respect for New Jersey’s social distancing guidelines?! Shoulda just let me sign this shit in private, bring her to do it some other time or whatever, and give me the airtime I been short of lately to do what the fuck I have to do out in front of MY audie–
(“Eye of the Tiger” by New Found Glory begins to play, much to the appreciation of the virtual audience in the World 1 Theatre, and to the annoyance of Serena Bennett, now shown throwing her head back in a fit of frustrated laughter. The camera cuts to the stage just as Harlow steps out from backstage, all smiles as the crowd cheers both her and her high-waisted, butt-lifting jeggings on.)
Flannery McCoy: And here comes the number one contender to the Universal Women’s Championship, Harlow Reichert, cutting Serena off yet again, second week in a row! And if I didn’t know any better, bois, I’d say that she enjoys irritating Serena this way!
Jake Mercer: I sure as hell enjoy watching whatever the hell it is she ends up doing. 😻😻😻
Stew-O: I wouldn’t put it past her, Flannery. Serena has evolved into an entirely new breed of smug lately, even for her! I’m sure Harlow would more than love to be the one to take her down a few pegs and give Serena some insight on what it’s like being inside of the ring with the greatest technical wrestlers of the generation!
(Harlow enters the ring, taking the seat opposite of Serena, looking down at the Universal Women’s Champion with a smirk, again fascinated with Serena’s reaction at being interrupted by Harlow once again. “Eye of the Tiger” comes to a halt just as Harlow takes a seat in the office chair opposite the champion, grabbing hold fo the microphone laid in front of her.)
Serena Bennett: Here she fuckin’ go, y’all can’t let my dick breathe for more than five minutes, huh, like, damn, when was the last chance I had on here to address my fuckin’ audience without a damn intrusion of my airtime? Fuck. What you want now, Harlow? Don’t even start, I’m already bored as all hell just lookin’ at you. Ain’t a word that’s gon’ come out of that crusty mouth that’s gon’ move me. And they had the nerve to call ME bucktooth, sheesh.
Harlow Reichert: 🙄 Are you finished or are you done?
Serena Bennett: Let me live a little, bitch.
Harlow Reichert: At least make a logical argument, Serena, if you’re going to waste your breath trying to get under my skin. You know why I’m here, and it’s to sign my match contract and put myself one step closer to winning the UWC. And believe me, I’m no more excited to be here than you are, it does me very little to have to sit here and engage in this nonsensical back and forth with you when I would much rather show you what I can do in that ring.
Serena Bennett: I ain’t even talkin’ ‘bout all that yet, sis, I’m sick of you interrupting me. You don’t even go here, forreal.
Harlow Reichert: (She scoffs.) The irony that rests in you getting away freely with interrupting your own General Managers but being all up in arms because I do the same. Or because I make it known that you aren’t as special as you think you are. Classic Bennett, just hope I didn’t strike another nerve.
Serena Bennett: Babygirl, please. You know damn well you a Serena fan, too, you can’t help yaself, I know it. I remember all the praises you had to sing about me back in the day, even after I was kickin’ ya ass in the Women’s Grand Rampage.
Harlow Reichert: Singing praises? Starting so soon with the deluded thinking, are we? Really, I was just trying to prove a point to Charlie Marr. If you thought I was going to be the newest member of the “Serena’s Ass-Kissers” club, you’re mistaken. Even though I’m sure you probably need it, I’m not going to endlessly feed you praise. Nor am I going to tip-toe around you because I’m scared to offend you. Nor do I have any interest in making your forehead any bigger than it already is by filling it with more compliments–as you pointed out, I’ve made that mistake once before. It’s exactly what you want to hear, but I won’t give you the satisfaction. See, unlike you, I’ve never really listened to the words people have spoken about me, because I really don’t need the validation or the criticism of others to motivate me. I’m capable of finding the motivation in myself, I pride myself on being able to ignore insults or critical acclaim and finding my purpose for competing within.
Serena Bennett: Bitch, that don’t even make no sense, fuck outta here. That just sounds an awful lot like some bullshit deflection tactic you had to muster up in order to withstand the constant criticism we’re bound to face in a field like this one, pretend that you don’t “need” validation as if it’s not validation from the audience that you and I are both feeding off of. I don’t know about you, but right after my dedicated fans, haters are MY biggest motivators forreal. How the fuck else you gon’ learn if not listen intently to the feedback you getting, either positive or negative? That’s the shit that makes you stronger, baby girl, the shit that pushes you to do better, the shit that’s s’posed to motivated you throughout ya entire career–
Harlow Reichert: Or, the shit that would have practically broken you down and forced you out of the business if Sienna Jade didn’t get to your eye sockets first. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Do we need another Pain for Pride 12 rewind? Another reminder of exactly how quickly Serena folds under pressure and verbal intimidation? You say “motivated,” but from the outside looking in, it seems a lot more like you were embarrassed to show your face around here after getting yourself buried more than anything.
(Serena quickly lowers her feet down onto the ground and grips both armrests of her office chair just as Veena takes a step forward to mediate.)
Veena Adams: Ladies, ladies! No need to get catty now! You’ll have time to make a mess of each other later, ugh. I know the hormonal imbalances must make it hard to keep your heads on straight at a time like this, but it’s incredibly important that we get through this part of the signing. As Dynasty’s co-GM’s, it’s very important that we review the main points of your contracts ahead of time.
(The camera shows as Harlow and Serena relax their stances a bit, leaning back in their chairs as they await Veena’s explanation.)
Veena Adams: Now! In your contracts, you’ll see not only the very important waiver that you are required to sign as a part of your EAW agreement just so that it’s perfectly clear you can’t hold us accountable whatsoever for what goes in inside of Red Wallz, but the terms, conditions, and rules of the infamous Red Wallz match itself!
StarrStan: As I’m sure you both know, Red Wallz has become known as one of the most barbaric, brutal, demonic, dangerous matches EAW has ever seen. It is not for the faint of heart. When you enter Red Wallz, there will be various types of weapons hanging from the corners of each wall. Compared to Glass Wallz, the glass structure in Red Wallz is twice as hard to break due to glass being specially hand-crafted specifically to withstand the brutality and destruction you will be facing inside of this match. It takes a lot of weight and sheer force to break regular glass, but when it comes to Red Wallz and this unforgiving structure, it takes about double that amount and effort, do keep that in mind going forward.
(The camera cuts to an angle of Harlow and Serena, locking eyes intently as StarrStan goes over his explanation.)
StarrStan: Inside, it is only you two and a referee who is encouraged to keep their distance throughout the matchup. In order to claim, or retain the Universal Women’s Title, you must win by pinfall, submission, or death! :blessed:
Veena Adams: And in the event of your untimely death, EAW cannot and will not be held responsible! 😊
StarrStan: So long as you both agree to the match stipulation and have no further questions, I don’t see why there should be any reason either one of you two do not sign. I wish you ladies the best of luck. Now. Starting with the defending champion.
(StarrStan offers Serena Bennett a ballpoint pen. She looks at his hand, revolted, and waves him away. Serena then reaches into the bust of her Puma jumpsuit and pulls out a matching diamond encrusted signature stamp. The camera shows as Harlow rolls her eyes while Serena shows off her novelty sized stamp at which Veena is somewhat impressed by. Just as Veena slides Serena the portfolio holding the contract, Harlow extends one hand and stops Serena from opening the portfolio to the appropriate page requiring her signature. Serena glares just as Harlow raises the microphone to her mouth.)
Harlow Reichert: Before you stamp your name on that contract, Serena, I just want to be sure that one thing is perfectly clear first.
Serena Bennett: //media1.tenor.com/images/71833341818f460f15040eaa2541116f/tenor.gif
Harlow Reichert: I hinted at this last week, but let it be known again that I’m not the same woman you once knew. Whatever idea you have stuck up in your head about who Harlow Reichert is as a competitor, erase it from your memory. If not, you’re going to be in for one hell of a ride. If you think you’re fully prepared to take on THE best technical wrestler in the world, then be my guest. Sign your livelihood away, because I’m not going to be afraid at all if I have to hurt you. There is nothing holding me back, and nothing that is going to stop me from not only taking your Title, but proving to you that you were wrong this entire time. I make liars out of people like you, Serena. People who think they can get away with making claims as big as the ones you made last week regarding your skill compared to mine. I am the absolute best at what I do, in every single way, and there will be no doubt about it at the end of our bout. Just remember that it was YOU who asked for this.
(Serena scoffs just as Harlow releases her grip on the portfolio.)
Serena Bennett: Bitch, do it look like I give a fuck? Honestly. Tell me. My obvious technical prowess and superiority aside, it don’t matter at all in a situation like this one, honeybunches. At all. If there’s one thing I’ve done this season–apart from make myself a two-time, two-time 🥰–
Virtual Crowd: TWO-TIME, TWO-TIME!
Serena Bennett: –Universal Women’s Champion, it’s continually prove myself to be one of the most resilient, fearless, tenacious, resourceful competitors in the business today. Ain’t no secret that you have minimal experience or fascination with matches like this one, you hardly stand a goddamn chance, bih. You’re going to need a lot more than some weak ass intimidation tactic and an underbaked dream to get on my level, sistopher.
Harlow Reichert: Just try me, Serena. I’ve proven time and time again that I can more than hold my own in hardcore situations. That I can keep up with former World Champions, Hall of Famers, and EAW Legends, no different than what you like to pride yourself on, either. I’m perfectly self-aware. I can adapt to just about anything you throw at me. If anything, you should be deathly afraid of an adaptable, versatile, and easy-going woman like me. Your ignorance surrounding me, your refusal to acknowledge just how good I am in that ring? THAT’S the type of stupidity I really don’t have time for, and why I continue to do what I do. I continue to push myself past my limits and continue to stand up to anyone who gets inside the ring with me. That’s why I’m the best, and why I’M going to be the woman barely walking out of Red Wallz with the Universal Women’s Championship.
(Harlow tosses the microphone on the table with a slight pop. Serena then raises her eyebrows, keeping eyes locked on Harlow, as she flips open the portfolio to the page where her signature is required. She grabs hold of her diamond encrusted signature stamp and aggressively stamps her name on the dotted line. The audience cheers as she lifts the stamp, revealing a beautiful, blue work of calligraphy on the contract. She slides the portfolio over to Harlow’s side of the table, leaning back in her chair as StarrStan gives Harlow a pen. Just as Harlow takes the pen–)
Flannery McCoy: WHAT THE HELL?! SERENA THROWING HER NOVELTY STAMP AT HARLOW’S FACE–I THINK SHE ALMOST GOT HER IN THE EYE!
Jake Mercer: My thiccums looks hurt, grabbing hold just beneath her cheek while StarrStan and Veena Adams leave her in the ring to fend for herself against this uncontrollable animal!
Stew-O: Serena stands up, kicks her chair up from beneath her–but Harlow quick to her feet as well! Serena looking like she’s going to charge after Harlow with the Universal Women’s Title–
Flannery McCoy: NO! HARLOW FLIPS THE ENTIRE TABLE OVER, THROWING SERENA OFF GUARD AS SHE DROPS THE UWC, AND LAUNCHING THE CONTRACT UP IN THE AIR! Bennett is staggered, almost got herself buried beneath the table had she not thought to dodge, the table now leaning up on it’s edge, legs protruding outwards–
Jake Mercer: Harlow Reichert looking to follow up–god, even in those JEANS, that THANG STILL THANGIN’–
Stew-O: KIWI CRUSHER! HARLOW WITH A KIWI CRUSHER TO BENNETT ONTO THE METAL LEGS OF THAT FOLDING TABLE! SERENA BENNETT IN AGONY AS SHE MAKES CONTACT WITH THE TABLE, now down on the mat, grabbing onto the back of her neck as she screams out in pain!
(The camera cuts to an angle of Serena Bennett on the floor, bent all out of shape as she continues to writhe in pain. Harlow walks over to the open portfolio on the ground, reaching for the pen which landed nearby in the table launch and quickly signs her name onto the contract. Once she finishes, she slams the portfolio shut, tossing it straight into Serena’s face before Harlow grabs the Universal Women’s Title from off the mat, looking down at her reflection in the face of the championship as she bites back a smile. “Eye of the Tiger” begins to play as Harlow poses with the UWC on the ropes, smiling out into the virtual audience.)
Flannery McCoy: My god, what a way to kick off Dynasty! Harlow showing absolutely no mercy here tonight, knowing that Serena Bennett is scheduled in the main event here tonight!
Jake Mercer: My baby looks so good out there. 😩😩😩 She knew damn well she had to do whatever it took to send a message to Serena and everyone watching to let them know loud and clear that Harlow is FIRED UP heading into Red Wallz next Saturday!
Stew-O: I’m only left to wonder if Serena has what it takes to defeat a challenger like Harlow next weekend, as she’s clearly proving herself to be one of the most formidable opponents Serena has taken on in EAW’s women’s division! But stay tuned everybody, we have quite the show lined up for you tonight! You won’t want to miss a moment of it!
(As Dynasty fades to commercial break, Harlow continues to pose with Serena’s championship belt in the center of the ring.)
(A commercial for One Piece starring Myles where they ask him a plethora of questions about the show, it specifically focuses on the answer that he gave when he said that Sanji was his favorite One Piece character)
(“Pure Water” by Skepta hits, as Dray Fontana emerges from the back and steps out onto the stage with his PURE Championship strapped around his waist. The crowd jeer heavily at his presence as he cusps his hand around his ear, then taunts them as they respond by booing louder. Dray trash talks at the camera.)
Dray Fontana: (Off-Mic) It’s simple, just watch me send MITSUBACHI to the back of the line.
Stephie Love: The following contest is set for… ONE FALL!!!!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
Stephie Love: Making his way to the ring! From Kingston Upon Thames, England, United Kingdom.. Weighing in at 200lbs. He is your EAW PURE Champion!!! THE PRINCE!!! DRAY
Stew-O: It looks like the PURE Champion is full of confidence ahead of his match against MITSUBACHI tonight.
Jake Mercer: And why wouldn’t he be? This man here is professional wrestling royalty, he’s the in-ring pedigree with the strap to prove it!
Flannery McCoy: It’s true, Dray Fontana has been impressive in 2020 and last week, we saw the champ dig deep in his resources to pick up the win against Mason Massacre.
Jake Mercer: Dig deep? You sure we were watching the same match? Dray wiped the floor with that tub of lard.
Stew-O: Dray rolls into the ring with an extra pep in his step. This is a man who thinks he’s above competing against his opponent tonight, never mind defending his championship against him and tonight “The Prince” gets the opportunity to prove it. But if his opponent, MITSUBACHI is able to put away the PURE Champion tonight then we will see these two go at it again at House of Glass with Fontana’s gold on the line.
(Dray makes his way around ringside before jumping up onto the apron and entering into the ring. He makes his way to the center and raises the PURE Championship before heading to his corner as “Pure Water” is replaced by “Black Honey” by Thrice hits as MITSUBACHI slowly makes his way out to the stage, standing beside him is Komatsu Ogawa. There is a conflict of cheers and jeers as his name is called out.)
Stephie Love: AND HIS OPPONENT…FROM JAPAN…WEIGHING IN AT 187 POUNDS….ACCOMPANIED BY KOMATSU OGAWA….MMIITTSSSUUBBACCCHHHIIII!!!!!
Stew-O: MITSUBACHI has carried a darker demeanor, harnessing a rage that is yet to be tapped into. You feel like he’s getting closer and closer every week and maybe, just maybe tonight could be the step forward that The Silent Killer has been looking for.
Jake Mercer: Look, I think MITSUBACHI is talented and has potential to be big in EAW but he’s not gonna do it with that nerd Komatsu Ogawa by his side.
Flannery McCoy: It appears if Komatsu has been trying to involve himself in his idol’s matches without actually involving himself. We saw it at Territorial Invasion when we saw the beginning of Team Dynasty’s implosion in Brand Warfare, we saw it when he goaded Chris Elite into finishing MITSUBACHI off last week. I hate to say it… I actually agree with Jake.
Jake Mercer: Don’t sound too surprised, will you? I’m a professional wrestling analyst Flan, there’s a reason I’m on higher salary than you.
Flannery McCoy: :usure:
(Komatsu Ogawa is shouting Japanese words of encouragement as he hypes a steely-eyed MITSUBACHI who has eyes only for the man in the ring, Dray Fontana and his coveted PURE Championship. Fontana scoffs at the audacity of another man for even staring at him, irritated by the belief that his wannabe-challenger holds ahead of this singles contest. MITSUBACHI rolls into the ring, Komatsu following suit as he gets into the face of Dray Fontana. Komatsu and Dray begin inaudibly exchanging fiery words in their native tongues. The sturdier Fontana butts his head against Ogawa who backtracks, allowing MITSUBACHI to take his place as the two men are stood-off with a mere couple of inches separating them prior to the bell.)
Stew-O: The referee wouldn’t dare intervene as he feels the hostility between these two men, this has been in the making since Pain for Pride 13. Dray Fontana was subject to THAT infamous ambush from the Murder Hornet and you know he hasn’t forgotten about that.
Jake Mercer: Are you forgetting that Dray ruined MITSUBACHI’s hopes and dreams at Cash in The Vault as he dove into a barbed wire trampoline and hit an unbelievable sitdown powerbomb? Dray doesn’t NEED anything from this match.
Flannery McCoy: Well it’s time to see who will benefit in tonight’s match? The PURE Champion on a roll or the potential number one contender to his belt? Here we go, the referee signals for the timekeeper to get things started!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: AND HERE WE GO, THE MATCH IS UNDERWAY!! The stare-off is a sight of two evenly matched foes as these men stand at the same height but it’s Dray with the advantage as he immediately lunges forward with a headbutt!! MITSUBACHI quickly ducks this, pivoting around Fontana and gripping the PURE Champion’s waist for a German Suplex! But MITSUBACHI doesn’t even get a chance because he’s quickly pushed his opponent away from him.
Jake Mercer: Very smart from The Silent Killer, Dray Fontana was set on snapping the fingers of BACHI. And these two men know what to expect from each other, they’ve faced off before.
Flannery McCoy: I think it should be noted that MITSUBACHI doesn’t usually have a variety of power moves, but tonight… he’s got room for innovation, Dray Fontana only has 10lbs on him.
Jake Mercer: And it looks like MITSUBACHI is throwing caution to the wind, he’s motioning for a lock-up! Has this guy got a short-term memory?
Stew-O: Dray Fontana sneers, confident in his own arsenal and commits to the test of strength… unlike his opponent. Once more, MITSUBACHI swivels around his opponent, taking to the ground to drop Fontana face-first with a double leg takedown! AND MITSUBACHI HAS THE PURE CHAMPION FLOORED! Look at the look of disbelief on Fontana’s face as he picks himself off the ring mat, the canvas stingingly leaving an impression on his jaw. MITSUBACHI arrogantly grins at his counterpart…
Jake Mercer: AND KOMATSU IS TALKING SHIT AGAIN! He’s shouting in Japanese at Fontana and I happen to know that he’s just said that Godzilla is probably Dray’s dad because Japan could fuck up the British. Look at the level of disrespect from this guy, why is he even out here?
Flannery McCoy: Maybe it’s the psychological factor? I mean look at Dray, he’s piercingly glaring at a buoyant Ogawa outside… but he doesn’t want to distract himself from the real threat but luckily now he’s refocused.
Stew-O: Dray is being a bit naïve here, he’s going for the test of strength again! And Fontana lunges at his foe who is only happy enough to repeat the previous sequence, taking to ground to sweep “The Prince” off of his feet… but Dray stomps onto the fingers of his counterpart! MITSUBACHI yells in anguish as he clenches his fists, Fontana returning a cocky grin of his own and Komatsu is shouting at Dray again!
Jake Mercer: And the bellboy starts screaming again. This is getting annoying real quick.
Stew-O: And I think the referee agrees as well, he’s got a few choice words for the cornerman of MITSUBACHI.
Referee: Let them wrestle!
Flannery McCoy: Ogawa’s shocked by that one, and he’s taken the directive on board. Dray Fontana looks bemused, he’s dealt with the outspoken follower of MITSUBACHI for the past two weeks and now he has to deal with it again… this time whilst competing… but MITSUBACHI is cool as a cat, laid atop the top northern and eastern ropes of the turnbuckle as he awaits his foe.
Jake Mercer: It’s clearly a trap! If Dray comes at MITSUBACHI, the Japanese will almost definitely respond… And that’s why… he’s rolled out of the ring?
Flannery McCoy: It looks like Fontana has exited the ring to confront Komatsu Ogawa?
Jake Mercer: Oh boy, I’m gonna love this. He’s just shoved his palm into the face of Komatsu Ogawa! Ogawa falls back and he can’t respond otherwise MITSUBACHI will get disqualified. Komatsu begins shouting again and this time, Dray pushes the former to the ground!
Dray Fontana: (Off-Mic) Why don’t you be a good manservant and do as you’re fucking told!?
Stew-O: There’s a look of horror on Komatsu’s face as he’s floored and he backs up against the barricade. And out comes MITSUBACHI to his ally’s defense as he rolls out the ring to apprehend Fontana, though the Japanese is suckered as Fontana anticipates his foe and levels his skull with a stiff forearm strike.
Jake Mercer: There you go, Komatsu gets MITSUBACHI into trouble… ONCE AGAIN, and Dray was smart to use Ogawa as bait as he now rolls his dazed opponent into the ring. The PURE Champion grins at an incensed Komatsu who remains rooted to the spot, knowing there are rules in this match.
Flannery McCoy: The champ is rolling back into the ring himself now and he’s just in time to help a stirring MITSUBACHI back onto his feet… who returns a favor by suckerpunching Fontana with a lethal elbow strike. Dray recoils back, ricocheting off of the ropes and as he returns MITSUBACHI CATCHES HIM WITH A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX. AND BACHI HAS THE BRIDGE-PIN.
Flannery McCoy: It’s going to take a lot more to put away the PURE Champion who gets his shoulder up and I think MITSUBACHI knows this, that’s why The Silent Killer has rolled Dray onto his stomach and begins stomping away at The Prince’s spine.
Stew-O: And this is a good strategy from BACHI, he knows Fontana relies on upper body strength for most of his offense. MITSUBACHI keeps Dray grounded on the mat as he applies a front facelock. The Prince wriggles his arms to locate MITSUBACHI’s digits but the latter subdues the enemy with some tenacious knee strikes to the shoulders. MITSUBACHI relieves his grip slightly as he allows his counterpart to regain his footing before levelling the jaw with a few more knee strikes and Dray is in no man’s land. The final of the knee strikes knocks Fontana back slightly as he’s back up to a vertical base, only to be pursued by a couple sharp forearm strikes.
Jake Mercer: MITSUBACHI grapples his groggy foe and Irish whips him toward the opposite side of the ring, Dray returns after rebounding from the ropes and is drawn into a kitchen sink knee strike to the abdomen! Dray doubles over the knee of MITSUBACHI whilst grabbing hold of the latter’s thigh AND HE’S GOT MITSUBACHI ROLLED UP FOR THE COUNT!
Stew-O: Kick out from MITSUBACHI and what a clever counter from the PURE Champion, Dray Fontana. Both men’s momentum sends them toward parallel sides of the ring and it’s the fresher MITSUBACHI who charges into Fontana but he’s intercepted BY A SUDDEN JUMPING KNEE STRIKE TO THE JAW! AND THIS TIME IT’S MITSUBACHI WHO IS DAZED BY THE STRIKE.
Flannery McCoy: These two men are very similar in-ring competitors as you can see, by how they’ve got a counter for everything! But Fontana knows better than to let his opponent regroup, following up with a DISCUS LARIAT!!!!
Jake Mercer: The PURE Champion just turned MITSUBACHI inside out with that thunderous clothesline and look at the concern on Komatsu’s face, the servant doesn’t know what to say.
Flannery McCoy: Fontana does as he hooks the legs of the prone MITSUBACHI!
Stew-O: Kick out from MITSUBACHI again! And just like that, the champion Dray Fontana has momentum on his side.
Jake Mercer: And Dray’s feeling it, he’s got that confident look on his face. And he’s just flipped off Komatsu Ogawa at ringside with a middle finger! Komatsu is enraged and darts up to the apron as the referee once again has to set the Rat King straight once more, but this time Dray doesn’t seem to care.
Stew-O: And that’s because Fontana is busy on the other side of the ring, wrapping the back of MITSUBACHI’s right knee around the bottom rope. And Dray’s using his own knee as leverage as he yanks away at the limbs of his opponent!
Jake Mercer: He’s already done his homework on MITSUBACHI, he knows that his opponent is next-to-useless without his knee!
Flannery McCoy: I wouldn’t go that far… but it is an important part of MITSUBACHI’s offense and FINALLY, the referee can see what Fontana is up to!
Referee: HEY STOP THAT!!! ONE!! TWO!! THREE!! FOUR!!
Jake Mercer: Dray Fontana using that five count usefully to weaken his opponent and now he’s thanking Komatsu for the assistance with a cheery thumbs up.
Flannery McCoy: Komatsu Ogawa needs to stop getting himself involved or he runs more risk of hurting his associate. And now Dray’s going to continue where he left off, dragging MITSUBACHI by the legs into the center of the ring. Fontana wraps his arms around the leg of his adversary, using his strength to scoop BACHI up into the air and send him crashing down on his knee! And MITSUBACHI is in serious pain right now, crutching his knee as he curls up!
Jake Mercer: And here’s another one, Dray lifts MITSUBACHI again and drops his opponent knee-first onto the mat! And Fontana COULD just admire his handiwork but no, he’s grabbing onto his fallen foe and rolling himself over, grapevining his own legs over BACHI’s and HE;S GO HIM IN A KNEE BAR!!!
Flannery McCoy: LISTEN TO THE CRIES OF ANGUISH FROM MITSUBACHI!! HE’S A GOOD DISTANCE AWAY FROM THE ROPES AND THE PURE CHAMPION HAS HIM ENSNARED IN THAT LETHAL SUBMISSION MOVE!
Jake Mercer: KOMATSU IS SHOUTING ENCOURAGEMENT TO BACHI BUT I’M NOT SURE THE SILENT KILLER’S LISTENING, ROARING IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN AS HE ATTEMPTS CLAWING TOWARD THE BOTTOM ROPE BUT DRAY IS REALLY LEANING ONTO THAT RIGHT KNEE!! AND BACHI CAN FORGET ABOUT HOUSE OF GLASS, IT’S ABOUT SURVIVING TONIGHT.
Stew-O: THE TORQUE BEING APPLIED IS WEAKENING MITSUBACHI FOR EVERY SECOND HE SPENDS IN THE KNEE BAR, AND MITSUBACHI HAD BETTER THINK FAST OTHERWISE THIS MATCH COULD BE OVER.
Flannery McCoy: WAIT! HE’S GETTING THERE! DRAY’S LEANING FURTHER BACK BUT MITSUBACHI FLINGS HIS ARMS AT THE BOTTOM ROPE!! AND HE’S FREE!!
Jake Mercer: Not yet! Dray’s not letting go just yet and the ref’ is yelling at our Pure Champion yet again!
Referee: LET GO NOW DRAY, HE’S GOT THE ROPE! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! BR-
Flannery McCoy: There we go again, Dray making the most of that five count yet again and MITSUBACHI is in a heap of trouble, cradling his right knee and I think the damage has been done. I’m not even sure MITSUBACHI rolling out of the ring is going to help him out as he drops to the floor on the outside.
Stew-O: The concerned Komatsu Ogawa rushes to check on his compatriot as MITSUBACHI has a ten count to regroup. There’s ONE. TWO. But Dray’s going to roll out of the ring and continue this onslaught and this time, Komatsu’s going to back away as he feels Fontana’s eyes burning a hole in his skull and Ogawa is helpless. He knows that the cerebral PURE Champion is going to use The Rat King’s presence to his own advantage.
Jake Mercer: Relax, he’s just being a good sportsman and helping MITSUBACHI back into the ring as the Japanese is rolled back into the ring. But Dray’s not going to return? He enters the ring and immediately takes to the outside ring apron, looking across the ring at his weakened opponent. And we’re about to see yet another element of the champ’s offense. High risk, high reward.
Stew-O: MITSUBACHI is really struggling here, he’s on the opposite side of the ring, clutching the ropes as leverage to help himself up to his feet. And the sinister PURE Champion is leering on the outside, gripping the top rope in await.
Flannery McCoy: That damaged right knee is weighing him down and you have to wonder, just how much of this is- just standing up is taking out of BACHI here.
Stew-O: Well, he’s back up to his feet but only for a second as Dray Fontana – The Prince – launches himself from the top rope with an incoming Springboard Forearm! But the PURE Champion misses his target and splats face first onto the canvas- MITSUBACHI ducked just in time!
Flannery McCoy: I don’t know how much of that was down to instinct, I think being vertically based is going to be a problem. He’s wincing right now but he can’t afford to dwell on the pain. He’s going to go for a cover anyway.
Flannery McCoy: I think deep down MITSUBACHI knew that wasn’t going to be enough but the after-effects of that knee bar has changed this matchup entirely. He’s going to have to improvise here but he doesn’t have much time, Dray Fontana – nursing his jaw – is returning to his feet. But the PURE Champion is being escorted into the far-right corner of the ring, leant against the turnbuckles as he endures a grueling knife edge chop! Fontana clasps his chest as MITSUBACHI draws strength from his upper body to rail Dray with those brutal chops!
Stew-O: But it’s not enough to subdue The Prince as Dray desperately shoves The Silent Killer away… but Fontana follows up, WILDLY SWINGING TO DECAPITATE MITSUBACHI WITH ANOTHER DISCUS LARIAT! BUT MITSUBACHI DUCKS- A BEWILDERED DRAY IS CAUGHT ON THE BACKFOOT, BEFORE BEING LEVELED BY A LEAPING REVERSE BULLDOG FROM MITSUBACHI!!! AND I’VE NEVER SEEN THAT USED BY HIM BEFORE.
Jake Mercer: Desperate times call for desperate measures! AND HE’S GOING FOR THE COVER!! NO!
Stew-O: KICK OUT FROM THE CHAMP! THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE FROM MITSUBACHI AND THE SILENT KILLER IS HAVING TO REINVENT HIMSELF IN THIS BATTLE.
Flannery McCoy: That is the sign of a future champion! Being able to adapt to these situations where your opponent is going to attempt neutralize you.
Stew-O: Both men are slowly making it up to their feet, but it’s MITSUBACHI who is winning this race as the adrenaline has taken priority to his pain threshold.
Jake Mercer: WATCH OUT DRAY, MITSUBACHI WITH THE RIGHT HAND STRAIGHT TO THE JAW! AND THE PURE CHAMPION IS DAZED- MOMENTARILY, AS HE RETURNS A RIGHT OF HIS OWN TO KNOCK THE WIND OUT OF BACHI’S SAILS! BUT MITSUBACHI DRAWS BREATH FROM WITHIN AND STRIKES DRAY! THE CROWD ARE LOVING THIS, THESE TWO WARRIORS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER! THERE’S NOTHING PURE ABOUT THIS AS DRAY DROPS ANOTHER RIGHT-HAND-
Stew-O: BACHI DUCKS- HE LIFTS THE SWINGING FONTANA FROM BEHIND AND LANDS AN ATOMIC DROP ONTO HIS LEFT-KNEE! Dray is staggered, feeling a sharp pain in his groin but MITSUBACHI hasn’t escaped unscathed as he drops that very same knee-
Flannery McCoy: ONLY TO ROLL UP THE UNSUSPECTING DRAY FONTANA!!! COVER!!
Referee: ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! TH –
Flannery McCoy: OHHHHH AND HE’S KICKED OUT AGAIN. BUT THIS TIME, DRAY’S FORCEFUL ESCAPE SENDS MITSUBACHI SCURRYING OUT THROUGH THE ROPES AS MOMENTUM SENDS THE SILENT KILLER BACK OUTSIDE!
Jake Mercer: Mitsubachi is possessed! He’s everywhere! And now he’s launched himself up onto the ring apron, through the ropes-
Stew-O: ROUNDHOUSE KICK!!! DRAY FONTANA JUST CAUGHT HIS OPPONENT CLEAN IN THE TEMPLE WITH THAT WELL-TIMED STRIKE. And MITSUBACHI is draped between the ropes, keeled over as he’s stupefied. Dray Fontana proving why he is a champion in EAW, killing this match with an opportune attack out of nowhere and now he’s going to roll MITSUBACHI over into the center of the ring and hook the legs. A valiant effort from MITSUBACHI
Stew-O: KICK OUT!! KICK OUT!!! HOW DID MITSUBACHI DO THAT WITH HIS BAD KNEE?
Jake Mercer: DRAY’S NOT GOING TO DWELL ON IT AND HE’S STRAIGHT ONTO THE KNEE BAR AND MITSUBACHI IS SCREAMING! WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK?
Flannery McCoy: LOOK! MITSUBACHI HAS SOMEHOW ROLLED HIS OWN BODYWEIGHT TO REMANOUVRE INTO THE CROSS ARM-BREAKER, THE QUIET LOCK!!!!!!! THE QUIET LOCK IS IN AND NOW DRAY IS SCREECHING!
Stew-O: HE’S PULLING BACK ON THAT RIGHT-ARM OF DRAY FONTANA AND THE PURE CHAMPION IS FLAILING TO GAIN SOME LEVERAGE- WAIT- I THINK HE’S FOUND IT. FINGER SNAP!!
Flannery McCoy: THAT RASCAL! IT’S ALMOST LIKE MITSUBACHI’S FINGERBONES HAVE BEEN DETACHED! BACHI’S YELLING AND IT DISCONNECTS HIM FROM THE MOMENT AS HE RELINQUISHES HIS GRIP, FREEING DRAY FONTANA. BUT MITSUBACHI CAN’T AFFORD TO JUST LAY THERE, LICKING HIS CHOPS FROM THE PURE CHAMP’S HEINOUS TACTICS.
Jake Mercer: Look at Komatsu on the outside! I think he’s about to cry hahahahaha! This is why I despise this guy. You’ve got these two premier athletes going at it trying to break each other’s bones, yet it’s the bellboy at ringside who’s whining like a bitch.
Flannery McCoy: Komatsu Ogawa has got to be careful here as Dray finds himself crawling toward the ropes, draping himself through the bottom within inches of Ogawa’s reach.
Stew-O: It looks like the PURE Champion has been taken to the limit as he holds his hands over his face. And I’d love to know- OH GOD!
Jake Mercer: DRAY OPENS HIS EYES AND SENDS KOMATSU RECOILING ONTO HIS ASS! HAHAHAHAHA, I LOVE IT!!! :deadrose:
Flannery McCoy: Komatsu is furious and he shoots up to his feet and charges toward Fontana who retreats through the ropes, back into the ring! And the Prince approaches a reeling MITSUBACHI who catches his toe by surprise with a drop toe hold! Fontana falls on his face. MITSUBACHI MOVES INTO THE CORNER OF THE RING, EYEING UP DRAY FONTANA WITH ‘THAT’ GLARE. HE CHARGES WITH THE RUNNING KNEE, THE MOVE THAT GUARANTEES VICTORY, DEATH OF A BACHELOR!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT MITSUBACHI IS HIT BY A RUNNING KNEE INSTEAD…
Stew-O: The referee goes to signal to call for the disqualification-
???: Don’t do that.
Flannery McCoy: The man who steamrolled MITSUBACHI with the vicious knee strike stops the referee as he grabs the official’s wrist and speaks calmly. IT’S IMPACT!
Impact: (Off-Mic) Watch this first, at least. Please?
Stew-O: He’s sarcastically pleading with the official but he’s not going to wait on the say-so of the ref, HE’S GOING TO HIT THE PURE CHAMPION DRAY FONTANA WITH A RUNNING KNEE AS WELL. AND WHAT GIVES? WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A COMPETITIVE MATCH HERE.
Referee: RING THE BELL! NO CONTEST!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: The referee has no choice but to throw this match out the window. Impact just ran interference! An irate Komatsu Ogawa immediately slides into the ring and shouts at the former World Champion in his native language. I’m not sure how wise this is.
Jake Mercer: I told you, I’m fluent in Japanese and Komatsu is just thanking Imp for giving him a chance to share the ring with a living legend.
Komatsu Ogawa: (Off-Mic) YOU RUINED MITSUBACHI’S NIGHT, GAIJIN.
Jake Mercer: Obviously something’s just got lost in translation…
Stew-O: FIST OF FURY!!!!!! IMPACT JUST KNOCKED OGAWA OUT COLD WITH THAT RIGHT HOOK!!!
Jake Mercer: I told you it wasn’t a wise move…
Flannery McCoy: I don’t like this, he’s walking back up to MITSUBACHI who is clearly wiped out right now.
Impact: (Off-Mic) Oh, that’s cute. You were going to win the match with that fancy looking knee attack? I execute that sort of offense in my sleep. You really thought that you were going to be rewarded a title shot for trying one week out of every other week? One week out of week after week of piss poor performances. I’m not sorry for what I just did, you’ve brought absolutely nothing to the table so you definitely will not be eating here.
Stew-O: He’s back on the attack! Impact is stomping away at the back of MITSUBACHI’s head! Impact has no chill right now. Why is he mad for? This has to be because of MITSUBACHI’s weak showing at Territorial Invasion, The Liquid Swordz haven’t been shy about ‘trimming the fat on the roster.’ I guess with Xander Payne not in action tonight, this is the second-best thing. Wait, where’s he going?
Jake Mercer: Impact is going to the outside of the ring and it looks like he’s dragging MITSUBACHI by the feet, closer to the corner of the ring. He calls himself EAW’s Most Watched Champion in History and I think you’d be a fool to take your eyes off him right now, he’s wrapping the right knee of BACHI’s around the ring post as the latter winces in pain, unable to muster a fight back and struggle away.
Flannery McCoy: Impact’s taking a step back…
Jake Mercer: IMPACT JUST DROVE HIS BOOT INTO THE KNEE OF MITSUBACHI’S!!!!! AND THE SILENT KILLER IS SCREAMING RIGHT NOW, IMPACT’S GONNA KILL THE GUY-
Stew-O: AND ANOTHER ONE AS MITSUBACHI RELEASES A DISTRESSING CRY, FANS TOO UNSETTLED TO REACT AS THEY WATCH IT UNFOLD
Jake Mercer: AND ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!!!! MITSUBACHI IS BEATING THE RING APRON WITH HIS ELBOWS, UNABLE TO RESPOND TO THIS ONSLAUGHT
Flannery McCoy: NOT AGAIN!!! MITSUBACHI IS CLEARLY SUFFERING RIGHT NOW! SOMEBODY NEEDS TO STOP THIS BUT THE REFEREE HAS ALREADY BAILED.
Stew-O: AND ONE MORE FOR MEASURE!! MITSUBACHI IS IN CRIPPLING PAIN AND THE VELOCITY OF THAT FINAL BOOT HAS SENT SHOCKWAVES THROUGH BACHI’S BODY AND HE’S MANAGED TO SLIP AWAY FROM THE RING POST. AT WHAT COST THOUGH?
Jake Mercer: And look at Dray Fontana stumbling back onto his feet, clutching onto his coveted PURE Championship. And he must be relieved that he doesn’t have to waste his time with underachievers like MITSUBACHI.
Flannery McCoy: MITSUBACHI had the match won! I’m sure of it! But Impact just ruined what could have been the turning point of this young man’s career.
(Impact then struts over as he takes a mic from the ringside area before speaking)
Impact: EAW Championship. EAW Answers World Championship. EAW World Heavyweight Championship, FIVE TIMES MAY I ADD? National Extreme, Interbrand. I’m this company’s first Triple Crown Champion. I didn’t get where I am by turning up every once in a while. This Japanese Sportscar and his Stan aren’t coming anywhere near the standards set by Mr. DEDEDE and myself so I just took it upon myself and to put everyone out of their misery. I’ve been thinking a bit recently and I realize that something is missing. You’d be downright idiotic think we’d be satisfied with how things are right now. Ryan on course for reclaiming the EAW World Heavyweight Championship and a Grand Prix victory guaranteed for us. But no, it’s like I said. It’s lonely at the top and we’re always looking to branch out… and that’s where you come in Dray.
Flannery McCoy: What is going on? Look at the confusion on the PURE Champion’s face.
Impact: If I didn’t bash your brains out a couple of minutes ago, you would have lost by disqualification.
Jake Mercer: Okay, that makes sense. Dray looks a bit surer now, logical thinking does take a while to process sometimes.
Impact: We don’t want MITSUBACHI beating you and then going on to possibly repeat himself at House of Glass. You’ve got a very important part to play. It’s a question of whether you’re ready to take on the responsibility or not… What do you say?
Stew-O: Am I seeing this right? Impact has just extended his hand out to the PURE Champion?
Jake Mercer: NO FUCKING WAY, DRAY FONTANA HAS JUST HIT THE JACKPOT! AND HE KNOWS IT, LOOK AT THE SHEER SURPRISE ON HIS FACE. HE CAN’T BELIEVE IT. AND IMPACT’S GRINNING FROM EAR-TO-EAR, HE’S GOING TO MAKE A STAR OF THIS TALENTED YOUNG ATHLETE.
Flannery McCoy: Impact has made a career off of manipulating people, you’ve got a short memory Jake. I don’t trust what this means and nor should Dray.
Jake Mercer: Well it’s good that Dray doesn’t care about what you have to say then, the PURE Champ’s going up to Impact and he’s going to shake the man’s hand!
Stew-O: Impact just yanked the PURE Championship off of the shoulder of Fontana…?
Flannery McCoy: HE’S JUST LEVELLED THE SKULL OF THE PURE CHAMPION WITH HIS OWN TITLE!
Jake Mercer: THAT’S ANOTHER K.O. I MEAN, I GUESS THIS IS HISTORY. I THINK THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT IMPACT HAS EVER LAID HANDS ON THE PURE CHAMPIONSHIP!
Impact: I get a reward too for representing and carrying Dynasty on our shoulders in War Games and it’s official now. In my long list of accolades that many wish they could even fathom a fraction of, this PURE Championship in my hands isn’t on there. And that’s why you’ll see me again at House of Glass, Dray. It’ll be you ‘defending’ your belt against The Quintessential Champion, Yours Truly, Impact… in a Glass Pit Match,
Jake Mercer: I KNEW IT! WHAT AN HONOR!
Flannery McCoy: Honor? He’s going back on the attack and stomping away at the head of the PURE Champion. I get that The Liquid Swordz triumphed at Territorial Invasion but they’re going too far now!
Impact: Dray Fontana, your first little task will be an easy one to get things going. Keep this warm for me, please.
Stew-O: Impact has just rested the PURE Championship atop its fallen holder. And could this be a sign of things to come? At House of Glass? On Dynasty?
(The screen fades to a commercial break at the sight of the dominant Impact, stood over a reeling Dray Fontana.)
(A commercial for earmuffs starring Ronan Malosi, he doesn’t get the clue that it means we want him to shut up, but one day he’ll realize it)
(Dynasty comes back from commercial break as ‘Popular Monster’ by Falling In Reverse plays up to loud boos as Christian DeMarco makes his way out to the stage. He’s in casual wear as he gives a grunt as he stands at the center of the stage and looks around with a unimpressed look on his face as he does so. He shrugs his shoulders ever so slightly before making his way down the ramp and sliding into the ring as immediately he asks for a mic. As ‘Popular Monster’ fades out as Christian shakes his head, rubbing his temple as he closes his eyes for a moment before beginning to speak)
Christian DeMarco: How I’ve realized Christian despised being here. I feel like I need a formal introduction for myself, what would seem like speaking in the 3rd person isn’t in my best nature is it? Christian DeMarco is dead, burned at the stake. My name is Caliban, and you better get used to that name. The reason that I’m repeating this to you is the fact that Dynasty is known for being problematically hardheaded. Blind to the path that it walks and it’s putrid, just being here in the first place reeks, just as much as the person sitting behind the desk. StarrStan is not the model General Manager, he isn’t even fit to be in that position and you people put trust into him? It’s funny how Christian got traded away and ended up becoming an even bigger name outside of Dynasty. Entrusting everything into Ryan Wilson and look where that got him, look where that got us. Without me, Christian would’ve failed, but look where we are now, the bright lights.
(The crowd continues to boo him as Christian paces around the ring looking down at the canvas)
Christian DeMarco: Christian had goals, and I have goals as well. There needs to be some sort of justice when it comes to Dynasty, trading Christian away to greener pastures despite it being a benefit for us, is not going to go overlooked. You want to know this revenge part that I orchestrated? Sewed and weaved together like a master at work, you want to know? The ultimate revenge will be when I’m the person that snatches the New Breed Championship away from Dynasty and bring it home to Showdown, because the Champion you see, is not the one you need. That’s why Christian beat James Ranger in the first place, to find some sort of completion in knowing that I’m going to be the one to take away the title from Andre Walker. Such an undeserving Champion in such an undeserving brand like Dynasty. The standards were very low to begin with, so the way I see it? This is mine for the taking-
(Before long Christian’s sentence is interrupted as ‘GATTI’ by JACKBOYS, Pop Smoke plays up as the New Breed Champion, Andre Walker makes his way out to the stage with a mic in his hand. He looks frustrated as he shakes his head before looking to Christian in the ring as he stops at the middle of the ramp as ‘GATTI’ fades out and Andre begins to speak)
Andre Walker: Man shut the fuck up Christian, Caliban, Chamsin whatever your name is. Just know when you’re around my presence you amount to absolutely nothing, what the hell have you even done compared to me? You’ve been a ghost, unseen by the world until now where I give you this spotlight to hold. But it won’t be long before it all disappears, dissipates. You find yourself in a situation that you just can’t win.
Christian DeMarco: You’re talking about Christian, Christian the absolute loser. I can see that, I understand that, but you’ve never seen Caliban. You’ve never seen the potential that I hold in the palm of my hand which will lead me to taking the title that you do not deserve away from you, for the better. I can run my thoughts through constantly time after time again and I don’t see an outcome where you become victorious over me.
Andre Walker: You have to be that dense don’t you? To not even comprehend a tiny bit of what I just had to say towards you. Your words are nothing but a miniscule thought to me because you couldn’t be more wrong. This is why I see no way that you can win, you just can’t get it through your head can you?
Christian DeMarco: Oh no no… I favor my chances more than anything and I say that with certainty. So much so I’d like to up the ante. How does a “Glass Crypt Match” sound?
(The crowd cheer in response to the mere mention of an intense matchtype such as that. Andre responds with a simple chuckle)
Christian DeMarco: Cover your opponent with glass in a crypt, doesn’t that make your blood boil?
Andre Walker: You really gotta be that stupid huh? Making this even worse for yourself, iight… you got yourself a Glass Crypt match. You’re used to being buried anyways so I can’t wait to have you buried in glass after I kick your ass and hold this New Breed Championship over your tomb.
(Christian simply drops his mic as he pushes himself against the ropes as both competitors stare at one another intensely. Andre raises the New Breed Championship in the air as ‘GATTI’ plays up as that’s the last shot seen as Dynasty fades out to commercial break once more)
(A commercial starring TLA as he advertises Corona beer, there’s so much going around that the only thing you’ll want to do is spread it!)
(Dynasty comes back from commercial break as “ME” by Taylor Swift ft. Brendon Urie hits as Veena Adams walks out on the stage, she soaks in the moment knowing this is her opportunity, and she’s only two wins away. She walks to the ring with that swagger she has.)
Stephie Love: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SET FOR ONE FALL AND IT A SEMINFINALS MATCH IN THE SPECIALISTS CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT!!! INTRODUCING FIRST…FROM GREENWICH, CONNECTICUTT…WEIGHING IN AT 126 POUNDS….VEEEEENNAA ADDAAMMMSSSS!!!!
Stew-O: Many were shocked and didn’t actually think Veena stood a chance when she inserted herself into this tournament. But I think Veena proved last week she’s fucking serious when she says she wants to be one of the best women’s wrestlers in the world. And winning this tournament would be a huge talking point in trying to accomplish that. She wants to be champion, and she will do whatever it takes to get the Specialists Title around her waist. If I were Harper, I wouldn’t be underestimating just how good Veena truly is like it looked like Alexis did last week. Let’s hope she doesn’t fall into the same trap.
(‘Jet Set Run’ by Yuki Hayashi hits as Harper Lee walks out full of energy, still wearing the same #JusticeForSarah top on her wrestling gear she had in the first round with her tag partner, Sierra Bradford. She takes a deep breath as she eyes down Veena from the ramp and makes her way to the ring.)
Stephie Love: AND HER OPPONENT….FROM CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA…WEIGHING IN AT 118 POUNDS…SHE IS ONE HALF OF THE EAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…REPRESENTING THE REALM….HHARRRPPEERRR LLEEEEEE!!!!
Jake Mercer: You have to wonder if Harper is taking Veena seriously. One would think so after what we saw last week. This is a different Veena than the one she faced at Odyssey.
Stew-O: Let’s not forget this is a different Harper Lee as well. She has done nothing but trend up and continue to evolve. She won her first championship a few weeks ago, and she wants to capture her second, and she doesn’t wanna let Veena Adams stand in her way of accomplishing that and bringing the Specialists Title back home to the Realm where it belongs.
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stew-O: And here we go, a rematch of Odyssey earlier this year between Harper and Veena. And, both competitors lock up in a collar and elbow tie-up! Veena gets the upper hand early as she has the side headlock applied, but not for long as Harper pushes her off to the ropes, and Veena comes back and connects with a shoulder tackle knocking Harper to the mat!
Veena Adams: (no mic): Just stay down now Whoreper HIVee!!!
Flannery McCoy: Veena runs the ropes to the side of her, and Harper is back to her feet and leapfrogs in the air as Veena goes underneath the legs and she runs off the opposite ropes and launches herself at Harper–BUT HARPER SIDESTEPPED IT! VEENA TURNS AROUND AND HARPER LEE CONNECTS WITH A HIGH KNEE STRIKE TO THE BRIDGE OF THE NOSE OF VEENA! HARPER NOW THROWS THE ARM OF VEENA OVER HER, AND THEN HARPER CONNECTS WITH A SNAP SUPLEX! Veena is trying to get some separation from Harper, but Harper grabs the foot of Veena preventing her from going anywhere!
Jake Mercer: Harper shakes her head no as she has the foot of Veena, BUT THEN VEENA WITH HER FREE LEG KICKS THE KNEE CAP oF HARPER DROPPING HER TO A KNEE! Veena is back to his feet and she takes a few steps back, and then runs towards Harper..AND VEENA DELIVERS A HARD KNEE STRIKE TO THE SIDE OF HARPER LEE’S HEAD! COVER!
Flannery McCoy: KICKOUT! Veena stands up to her feet, and oh gosh she begins stomping the life out of Harper! Repetitive stomps to the head and chest of Harper before Harper gets on top, AND WHOA!! SHE BEGINS CHOKING HARPER! THE REFEREE BEGINS HIS COUNT TO LET GO AS HE’S TRYING TO WARN VEENA!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIV–VEENA GET OFF!! YOU’RE GONNA GET DISQUALIFIED!
Veena Adams: (no mic) YOU DISQUALIFY ME, YOU’RE OUT ON THE FUCKING STREET! DO YOU HEAR ME?!
Stew-O: FROM BEHIND! HARPER LEE CONNECTS WITH A CHOP BLOCK FROM BEHIND THAT TAKES VEENA DOWN TO ONE KNEE! Harper wraps the arm around Veena’s head from the back, and a REVERSE DDT CONNECTS ON VEENA! Veena uses her ring awareness and slides underneath the bottom rope next to her and she clings to the rope. Harper Lee runs the ropes–HARPER LEE CONNECTS WITH THE BASEBALL SLIDE KICK THAT KNOCKS VEENA OFF THE APRON AND SENDS HER FLYING TO THE OUTSIDE FLOOR BELOW!
Jake Mercer: Harper sees that Veena is starting to stir on the outside, and now, she shrugs her shoulders as she runs the ropes full speed again–AND HARPER TAKES OUT VEENA WITH THE SUICIDE DIVE! HARPER IS FEELING PUMPED UP RIGHT NOW!
Flannery McCoy: One more, Veena is trying to escape, but Harper ain’t having it, and Harper goes to grab Veena by the head–BUT VEENA YANKS THE ARM OF HARPER BACK AND DRIVES IT RIGHT INTO THE STEEL STEPS BEHIND HER! Veena is up and grabs the arm of Harper, and SHE REPEATEDLY SLAMS THE ARM UP AND DOWN ON TOP OF THE STEEL STEPS! Harper is holding it in pain, and we all are hoping it’s nothing too serious. Maybe, except Veena who has the evil smile on her face!
Stew-O: Veena Adams picks up Harper Lee and then rolls her back in the ring before hopping up the apron and climbing up the top rope! Harper turns around–AND VEENA CONNECTS WITH THE CROSSBODY! AND VEENA FOLLOWS IT UP WITH THE PIN!!
Flannery McCoy: KICKOUT FROM HARPER! Both race to their feet, but it’s Veena who makes it up first as Harper is still on a knee, and again, Veena Adams drives the knee into the side of Harper’s skull as hard as she can! Veena is in complete control now of this match!
Stew-O: Veena grabs Harper by the chin, AND VEENA ADAMS JUST SLAPPED THE TASTE RIGHT OUT OF HARPER LEE’S MOUTH!
Jake Mercer: VEENA NOW CONTINUALLY SLAPPING HARPER! AND NOW VEENA HAMMERS AWAY AT THE BACK OF HARPER BEFORE RUNNING TO THE ROPES–BUT HARPER LEE POPS UP AND TAKES DOWN VEENA ADAMS WITH THE LOU THESZ PRESS! HARPER LEE IS GOING BEZERK NOW RAINING DOWN RIGHTS AND LEFT AT THE FACE AND RIBCAGE OF VEENA! The referee steps in and manages to get some separation between the two competitors. We rarely see Harper in this kind of state of mind, and now she right away walks back to Veena who’s now standing in the corner, and Veena switches places with Harper and drives her face first off the turnbuckle, and now Veena lifts her leg up and has it against the throat of Harper in the corner! The referee trying to force the break here!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
Veena Adams: (no mic) BITCH, WHAT DID I TELL YOU EARLIER?!
Stew-O: :lupe: That referee looks terrified. And now Veena turns her attention back to Harper in the corner–BUT HARPER OUT OF NOWHERE LIFTS VEENA UP WITH THE FLAPJACK AND DROPS HER BACKWARDS AND VEENA BOUNCES FACE FIRST OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! VEENA NOW HOLDS HER NOSE IN PAIN AS SHE DROPS TO A KNEE, AND THEN QUICKLY RISES AGAIN AND TURNS AROUND–REVERSE STO CONNECTS ON VEENA AS HARPER LEE THEN GOES FOR THE COVER HERE!!
Flannery McCoy: VEENA WITH THE SHOULDER UP! And now it’s Harper this time who’s measuring Veena to put this match away and punch her ticket to the finals. Kick to the midsection from Harper! Harper places Veena between her legs, but before we could know what she was setting up for, Veena drives Harper back first into the corner! Now Veena is throwing elbow shots to the face of Harper!
Stew-O: Veena backs up and runs at Harper–BUT NOBODY HOME AS HARPER MOVES! VEENA TURNS AROUND AND….DRAGON FISTTTTT!!!! HARPER LEE WITH THE RIGHT HOOK TO THE FACE OF VEENA! BUT WAIT NO!! VEENA DUCKED THE FIST–BUT WHEN SHE GOT BACK TO A VERTICAL BASE, HARPER WAS WAITING FOR HER–AND THE THIS TIME THE DRAGON FIST CONNECTS RIGHT TO THE FACE!!! HARPER’S GONNA ADVANCE AS SHE GOES FOR THE COVER!!
Flannery McCoy:VEENA ADAMS PLACES HER FOOT UNDERNEATH THE BOTTOM ROPE! Great ring awareness from Veena as Harper stands back up and drags Veena back to the center of the ring now. Harper bends over and grabs ahold of Veena–VEENA OUT OF NOWHERE APPLIES THE ‘KILLER QUEENS RAPSEDY!!!’ THE SAME EXACT MOVE THAT SHE MADE ALEXIS CHAMBERS SUBMIT TO ONE WEEK AGO HERE ON DYNASTY! HARPER LEE IF FLAILING AROUND TRYING TO FIND SOME WAY OUT OF THIS, AND VEENA MEANWHILE IS SCREAMING HER LUNGS OUT YELLING AT HARPER TO JUST TAP OUT!
Jake Mercer: Just imagine what it would do for Veena if she made it to the finals by making both of her first two opponents tap out. Veena is applying the pressure as hard as she can and Harper seems trapped. She might honestly break Harper’s arm here the longer Harper stays in it! HARPER LOOKS LIKE SHE MIGHT TAP OUT HERE!!
Stew-O: BUT NO!! SHE’S REFUSING! AND LOOK!!! OH MY LORD!!! HARPER LEE WITH ONE LAST GASP PICKS UP VEENA OFF THE MAT WHILE SHE STILL HAS THE KIMURA LOCKED IN–AND HARPER SLAMS VEENA ON THE BACK OF HER HEAD ON THE MAT, FREEING HERSELF FROM THE SUBMISSION! Both competitors are down here again. Who wants this more?!
Flannery McCoy: Both ladies are standing up facing one another, and both are exchanging shots! VEENA! HARPER! VEENA! HARPER! HARPER! HARPER! HARPER! HARPER THEN GRABS THE LEGS OF VEENA AND DROPS HER TO THE MAT! HARPER LEE LEAPS AND HAS THE JACKKNIFE PIN ON VEENA!!
Stew-O: LOOK!!! VEENA REVERSES IT BY FLIPPING HARPER ON HER BACK, AND THEN VEENA STANDS AND STACKS HERSELF ON HARPER FOR THE PIN!!
Flannery McCoy: VEENA’S GOT AHOLD OF THE ROPES!! SHE’S HOLDING THE ROPES NEXT TO HER IN THIS PINFALL!!!!! REF LOOK!!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“ME” by Taylor Swift ft. Brendon Urie hits as Veena Adams quickly rolls out of the ring, and Harper Lee is in confusion on what just happened, she is in utter disbelief with her hands on her head. Meanwhile Veena is smiling ear to ear as the referee raises her hand at the top fo the ramp.)
Stephie Love: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…..AND MOVING ON TO THE SPECIALISTS CHAMPIONSHIP FINALS…..VEEEENNNAAAA ADDDDAAAMMMMMSSSS!!!!
Flannery McCoy: YOU’RE KIDDING ME!!! Veena just cheated and got away with it! Harper Lee was just robbed right there!
Jake Mercer: She didn’t get caught is the main thing everybody needs to know, and now she’s one win away from capturing a championship in this company.
(The scene ends with Veena doing the title motion around her waist before looking on to see a disappointed Harper Lee sitting inside the ring.)
(A commercial featuring the advocacy for regular sleep patterns, half the people here need it :mjpls:)
(The camera cuts to ringside.)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen at this time… please welcome XANDER PAYNE!!!!
(“It Follows” by Cane Hill hits to loud boos as Xander Payne makes his way down to the ring in a suit.)
Flannery McCoy: Good god! I didn’t know they made suits that big!
Jake Mercer: Of course they do Flan. You know that suits can be expensive so sometimes the price can be really big.
Flannery McCoy: That’s not what I me-
Jake Mercer: Yes it was.
Stew-O: But what is Xander even doing out here right now? Last week Xander was pinned by Ahren and he is obviously not happy about that. But I’m not sure there is much he can really do about it.
(Xander Payne takes Stephie’s microphone aggressively as she quickly leaves the ring.)
Xander Payne: Cut my damn music! I have something to say!
Xander Payne: Oh like I give a shit about what you losers think.
Xander Payne: You damn right I’m sure. This is my show! I have the microphone which means it is time for all of you to shut the hell up and listen to what I have to say!
Jake Mercer: Yeah Flannery shut the hell up.
Flannery McCoy: Never.
Xander Payne: I am out here tonight for a very important reason. I have something on my mind and I need to get it off my chest. Ladies and gentlemen I am out here tonight to talk about hood rats.
Jake Mercer: Yeah you tell them Xander tel- wait what?
Xander Payne: You heard me bozos! And I have one very special hood rat in particular that I intend to talk about. He has been the bane of my existence and it is time we wipe him off the face of my show! This is my fucking show!
Xander Payne: Oh you have a problem with the way I am talking about Chris Elite? Keep on eating huh? Well how about you eat on this. I could say a lot worse things about Chris Elite but I am keeping it PG because I am not going to lower myself to his level. I don’t need to run around like an ignorant little piece of trash that society doesn’t care about because unlike him I don’t have anger issues. Unlike him I can actually keep a job! Chris Elite is a dirty hypocrite who runs his mouth with no consequences because he knows that if he ever shut the fuck up for a second and listened his entire world would fall apart and he would be exposed for what he really is. Nothing but a damn hypocrite.
Stew-O: Damn harsh words from Xander here tonight speaking towards Chris Elite.
Xander Payne: He is so wrong about everything he says and people think his words actually have merit because he just keeps going. None of it actually stands up to scrutiny. Half the time he is accusing his opponents of things that sound like they happened in another dimension altogether. Yet people just eat it all up and they can’t get enough. Well I am sick and tired of it and I am going to start exposing him right here tonight. I don’t care if the suits in the back have a problem with what I have to say because I am Xander Payne and what the hell are you going to do about it? Put it up. Put it up on screen right now.
(Xander rolls out of the ring and grabs a ring crew member by the neck. He quickly runs over to the equipment area near the stage and inserts a flash drive. After some time an image appears on the screen.)
Flannery McCoy: Wait who the hell is that?
Xander Payne: I bet all you idiots are confused. Well Chris Elite isn’t. No he knows exactly who that is. He knows this man quite well.
(The camera pans over the big screen which transitions to old footage from a decade ago with a small disclaimer at the bottom reading. Property of the New-Age Wrestling Federation. Chris Elite is shown competing with ring gear reading “Suicide Kid” alongside another man whos gear reads “Mr. Metal”.)
Xander Payne: Ahhh the good old days huh Chris? Do you remember Mr. Metal do you? I wouldn’t be surprised if you forgot because nobody else does either. Back when you were a failed tag team for some dead indy company this was actually the start of a very long term pattern for you Chris. You might not have thought much of it then but I know now it brings you much shame because it was the start of a series of long running and constant failure in your career. Oh I’m not done. Next up!
(The big screen transitions to an image of Chris Elite alongside Victor Hughes as Elite Warning back in 2011.)
Xander Payne: Oh and the hits just keep on coming! A new year and another failed tag team for Chris Elite! Imagine my shock! Well I’m actually not that shocked. Next!
(The screen transitions to footage of The Iconomy from 2015 where Chris Elite is shown standing in the background as JJ Silva holds a microphone taking all the spotlight for himself. Eclipse Diemos is shown creeping up behind Chris before the video ends leaving the outcome unknown.)
Xander Payne: Yikes! Imagine being the third wheel for that group of losers! Honestly I don’t know which is worse. The fact that you were teaming up with these rapists and pedophiles or the fact that you were the worst member of the group. I mean the rest of these degenerate hood rats got tossed out the company why haven’t you been just for being aligned with them? I mean you really don’t expect us to believe that you didn’t know exactly what was going on behind the scenes with the Iconomy the entire time do you? Maybe the reason you go around hanging out with the BVU is because if the SVU ever started looking into your hood rat ass you wouldn’t spend another day out on the streets as a free man. Next!
(The Blicky Boyz is shown on camera with footage from a number of matches being shown. The success of the team is highlighted with the finish to a number of matches being prominently displayed.)
Xander Payne: Oh look the Blicky Boyz! Don’t we love the Blicky Boyz you guys! Come on let’s give it up for the Blicky Boyz yeah they are so great!
Xander Payne: I don’t like the Blicky Boyz. In fact I think they are absolutely overrated trash. They come out here and they dance and they make the people happy. Woo hooo these hood rats are making rap references and flashing gang signs it’s so much fun so relatable! Well party time is over bitch! Because everyone knows that once again you were carried by Malcolm Jones the entire time! You were just there to leech off of his success and save your failing career. Would you have even been in the main event at Pain for Pride if a Blicky Boyz match up hadn’t been so marketable? Didn’t you literally jerk the curtain for the New Breed Title the year before… losing by the way big shocker. Then you screwed up half the opportunities you got only to be rewarded with something that only a small handful of so-called greats get to do? Look at this beautiful chocolate man Malcolm. You know that your bald ass could never have the kind of looks or success like he has. Malcolm would be a ten time World Champion by now if he hadn’t wasted all this time carrying your dead weight and even that wasn’t enough because in the end the Blicky Boyz are remembered only as a flash in the pan failure! Next!
(A picture is shown of Chris Elite and Ahren Fournier as the Illionaires.)
Xander Payne: Ugh just the thought of looking at Ahren’s disgusting goat face makes me sick. Take that down. Take it down I’ve seen enough! Well I think everyone has seen enough of the Illionaires to be honest. A smart name for a team because every time I think about how much they sucked I feel ill. I mean maybe you two were feeling ill as well and that would explain why your team underperformed so badly. We all know how the story goes. The Illionaires! Such hype! Such promise! They are going to take over the whole company! Then what happened? Oh that’s right… Both of them became lazy bozos who couldn’t even cut it against teams that they should have walked all over. Do you get it now Chris? Is this enough examples for you? Have I done enough to “expose” you now Chris? Huh? Not a lot to say now huh Chris? You hypocritical son of a bitch!
Crowd: YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
Xander Payne: Have you even been listening? I have just gone to elaborate lengths to prove to you all that it is in fact Chris Elite who sucks! Not me! Not Xander Payne! Chris Elite has been running his mouth saying all this shit about his Brand Warfare teammates when history is filled with example after example after example that proves that he is in fact a bad teammate. In fact I would go even further to say that I have proven that Chris Elite is the worst teammate in EAW history! Just look at his neverending legacy of tag team failure! HAHAHA! Eat my dick Chris! You are nothing but a front running loser and you always will be! Put the finger pics up next! We got more where that came from! Put them up!
(“Invincible” by Pop Smoke hits as the crowd erupts with a massive pop. But you can’t say pop and forget the smoke.)
Jake Mercer: What is he doing out here?
Flannery McCoy: Chris Elite is here and he can’t be happy about what Xander has to say!
Chris Elite: Listen up you dickeating bozo. I have honestly never seen so many dickeating offenses in such a short amount of time. But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you are an expert at eating fatass.
Xander Payne: I’m not fat! I only weigh 159 pounds!
Chris Elite: Well with my dick in your mouth like it is you weigh at least 300. Imagine actually listening to any of this bozo’s revisionist history like he was there. Has he ever had any successful tag teams? Has he even had a tag team? I mean I barely even know who this Weight Watchers reject even is.
Xander Payne: Shut up! Don’t make me put the Shaker Jones picture up on screen. I swear. I’ll do it.
Chris Elite: Nah you not going to do shit. I have a Gawd Contract which means your time here is up. Are gonna do this or not?
Xander Payne: Do what?
Chris Elite: This.
(Chris Elite is shown pointing to a massive House of Glass banner hanging at the top of the arena.)
Xander Payne: You’re on.
Chris Elite: See that wasn’t so hard was it little buddy? No need for the long boring history lesson nobody listened to anyway. You wanted a fight well you are stupid for wanting to fight me but I guess that is the way of the bozo. You say I am a failure but at House of Glass I will prove personally that your fat ass is more dead weight than I ever could be. Gllllttttt bow.
(“Invincible” by Pop Smoke hits as Chris Elite drops the mic and walks backstage as Xander looks like a vein is about to pop out his skull.)
Stew-O: Wow what a match! And the hatred these two have for each other… my god Flan this is a powder keg just waiting to explode!
Flannery McCoy: It sure is Stew. House of Glass is going to be a candidate for the best show of the year. Mark my words. I wouldn’t be shocked if some of these matches win awards in a couple months as 2020 nears its end!
(The camera cuts to a commercial featuring the Pizza Boy who is shown crying as he watches through a window at a classroom teacher bringing in poverty pizza for the class to “enjoy”.)
(Dynasty comes back from commercial break as “Cry Little Sister” by Marilyn Manson hits as Kasey Kaos runs on on the stage, and she seems focused on the task at hand. She wastes no time in making her way to the ring.)
Stephie Love: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A SPECIALISTS CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMIFINALS MATCH!!!! INTRODUCING FIRST…FROM LONDON, ENGLAND….WEIGHING IN AT 140 POUNDS….KKKAASSEEEYYYY KAAAOOOSSSSS!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: She truly showed us in the first round why she is one of the odds on favorites to win this whole tournament. She’s come up short of capturing gold in her tenure including the heartbreaking defeat at Pain for Pride earlier this year for the same exact title she’s fighting for, and she, or they, are out for blood. They want revenge, and she can get one step closer tonight to her goal of becoming champion!
(“Hell on Heels” by Pistol Annies hits as Kensingren Calhoun-Astor walks out with that same manner she always does. Kasey is ready for a fight in the ring, but Kensingten seems in no rush to get in the ring.)
Stephie Love: AND HER OPPONENT…FROM SAVANNAH, GEORGIA…WEIGHING IN AT 143 POUNDS…..KKKEEENNNSSSINNNGGTTTEEENNN CCAALLLHHOOUUUUNNNN-ASSSTTTOOORRRRR!!!!!
Stew-O: Another one who’s come up short on a few occasions, especially when it comes to the Specialists Championship. She feels she’s been on a hot run and wants to cap it with some gold around that waist of hers. This should be a really fun fight.
Jake Mercer: You think she has the least important Ava wanting revenge at the back of her mind? You think she might be on high alert of Candice trying something?
Flannery McCoy: I wouldn’t be shocked, but we’re about to find out, RIGHT NOW!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stew-O: And this second round match is underway here! The winner will go on to meet Veena Adams in the finals to crown the new Specialists Champion! Kasey Kaos and Kensingten walk towards one another in the center of the ring. Kasey is staring deep into the soul of Kensingten, and meanwhile Kensingten gives a little bit of a chuckle as she motions Kasey to take a few steps back.
Kensington Calhoun-Astor: (no mic) THIS is the person seen as one of the favorites? Oh honey please!
Jake Mercer: I mean, she ain’t wrong…BUT KASEY TAKES DOWN KENSINGTEN DOWN TO THE MAT AND SHE’S SWINGING BOTH OF HER FISTS IN A BLAZE OF GLORY! Kensington is trying her best to cover up, but Kasey is a woman possessed right now…
Jake Mercer: No pun intended.
Flannery McCoy: Kensington manages to grab the bottom rope and pull herself out of the ring, Kasey rolls out of the ring following close behind, and she walks up to Kensingten who’s holding herself against the steps, and then Kensingten with a kick to the midsection! Kensington now grabs the head of Kasey and bounces her face first off of the steel steps! Kensington checks her lip for blood, before picking up Kasey and throwing her back inside of the ring.
Stew-O: Kasey is on both knees now as Kensingten begins to measure her up, and then Kensingten runs at Kasey, AND KENSINGTEN CONNECTS WITH A STEP UP ENZIGUIRI TO THE SIDE OF KASEY’S SKULL! THE COVER NOW ON KASEY!
Stew-O: And a kickout from Kasey, and now it’s Kensingten who grabs the head of Kasey and repeatedly bashes it into the ring canvas! Kensington is playing no games here tonight! She now goes to pick up Kasey, but Kasey out of nowhere connects with an uppercut to the jaw that stuns Kensingren back several steps! Kensington walks forward and runs into another uppercut! Kensington is stunned as she bounces off the rope and…WALKS RIGHT INTO A HIP TOSS FROM KASEY! KASEY KAOS THEN FOLLOWS THAT WITH A JUMPING ELBOW DROP TO THE HEART OF KENSINGTEN!
Jake Mercer: This lunatic knows that ain’t enough to keep Kensingten down, and then she picks up Kensingten with a sense of urgency, and she picks up Kensingten with all her strength, and drives her all the way across the ring into the corner! Kensington landed on the back of her head in the corner on the top turnbuckle! Kasey now with a shoulder thrust in the corner! Another one! And then a third! Kasey repeatedly driving her elbow into the ribs of Kensingten before walking to the opposite end of the ring. AND KASEY COMES CHARGING AT KENSINGTEN WITH A FULL HEAD OF STEAM–BUT KENSINGTEN GETS HER FOOT UP STOPPING KASEY DEAD IN HER TRACKS!
Flannery McCoy: KASEY HOLDS HER FACE AS KENSINGTEN THEN CHARGES AND REBOUNDS OFF THE ROPES–AND KENSINGTEN CONNECTS WITH A RUNNING BIG BOOT TO THE FACE KNOCKING DOWN KASEY! THAT SOUNDED LIKE A GUNSHOT! THE COVER ON KASEY AGAIN!
Stew-O: Kasey kicks out again! Kensington now gets back to her feet and she waits for Kasey to get up and turn around. Kasey turns around and, kick to the midsection from Kensingten–BUT KASEY REVERSES AND CONNECTS WITH A BACK BODY DROP! Kensingten crawls over to the corner and pulls herself up in it, AND KASEY KAOS RUNS, AND THIS TIME CONNECTS WITH THE SPLASH IN THE CORNER! KASEY THEN FOLLOWS THAT WITH UP WITH A RUNNING BULLDOG FROM THE CORNER! KASEY FLIPS KENSINGTEN OVER AND SHE HOOKS THE LEG!
Flannery McCoy: KICKOUT! Kasey wasting no time going back on the attack as she grabs Kensingten by the head and pulls her up on one knee, BUT KENSINGTEN THROWS A SHOT TO THE RIBS OF KASEY! Kensingten gets to a vertical base and grabs the head of Kasey, and then Kensingten repeatedly rams her knee into the nose of Kasey before Kasey falls to the mat. Kasey is a sitting duck on the mat, and Kensingten runs the ropes again and delivers a kick to the face of the seated Kasey! AND LOOK KASEY IS BLEEDING FROM THE NOSE! Kensingten has a smirk across her face proud of her handiwork so far!
Stew-O: Kensingten begins to stalk Kasey walking in circles around her, and then she delivers a stomp to the ankle of Kasey! Kensingten walks around to her head, and then delivers a stomp to the skull of Kasey! Kensingten now begins to pick up Kasey off the mat, and then she sets her up for perhaps a suplex as she throws the arm over her head. AND KENSINGTEN LIFTS KASEY UP! BUT KASEY FLOATS OVER, AND THEN SHE PUSHES KENSINGTEN BACK FIRST FORWARD! KENSINGTEN TURNS AROUND AND–KASEY GOES FOR THE CLOTHESLINE, BUT KENSINGTEN DUCKS THAT! KENSINGTEN FACES KASEY’S BACK AND BENDS HER BACKWARDS, AND CONNECTS WITH A KNEE AND NECKBREAKER COMBO!
Jake Mercer: KENSINGTEN DOESN’T GO FOR THE COVER THOUGH AS SHE’S BACK ON HER FEET QUICKLY, AND KENSINGTEN BEGINS TO SET KASEY UP FOR SOMETHING–BUT KASEY OUT OF NOWHERE THROWS A VICIOUS HEADBUTT THAT KNOCKS KENSINGTEN FLAT ON HER BACK! Both competitors are down now as Kasey pulls herself up in the corner, and….she licks the blood dripping from her nose! WHAT A NUTCASE!
Flannery McCoy: Kasey has a smirk come across her face, and she sees Kensingten rising up to her feet, and then Kasey charges and connects with a running leaping clothesline! Another one! Kensingten then swings at the head of Kasey, but Kasey ducks and picks up Kensingten in a back suplex position! Kasey is holding Kensingten high in the air now and….AND KASEY DROPS KENSINGTEN WITH A SIT-OUT FACEBUSTER! THE PIN FROM KASEY KAOS NOW!
Jake Mercer: AND KENSINGTEN GETS THE SHOULDER UP! And Kasey still has that sinister grin on her face. Kasey stands up and faces the front of Kensingten as she tries pulling her up off the mat, KASEY KAOS TURNS KENSINGREN AROUND AND BENDS HER BACK! SHE’S SETTING UP FOR THE ‘VAE VICTIS’ INVERTED DDT! BUT KENSINGTEN IS REFUSING TO LET IT HAPPEN! KENSINGTEN SOMEHOW MANAGES TO TWIST OUT OF THE HOLD FROM KASEY, KASEY LEAPS AT KENSINGTEN, BUT KENSINGTEN THROWS AN ELBOW TO THE FACE! KASEY RECOVERS AND WALKS AT KENSINGTEN AGAIN AND SWINGS–BUT KENSINGTEN DUCKS AND THEN SWITCHES TO THE BACK OF KASEY AND HAS AHOLD OF HER BY THE WAIST!! GERMAN SUPLEX FROM KENSINGTEN!
Stew-O: Kasey just landed HARD on the back of her head! She stands in pain, and Kensingren sees this and is like a shark that smells blood! Kasey stands up holding the head, and she turns around–KENSINGTEN HAS THE LEG UP TO THE FACE OF KASEY…..’HOLD YOUR HORSESSSSS’!!!!!!! THE INVERTED FACEBREAKER CONNECTS AND NOW SHE AGGRESIVELY HOOKS KASEY’S LEG! IS SHE GONNA MOVE ON?!
Flannery McCoy: NO!!!! Kasey stays alive! Kensingten gives a sigh before going back to work, and she mounts on top of Kasey on the mat and she is relentless throwing haymakers to the face! Damn, this aggression from Kensintren right now!
Stew-O: Kensingten stands up, and looks down at Kasey and tries to drag up what seems to be the dead weight of Kasey Kaos as she hasn’t moved. Kensingten tries to set up for something here–OH NO!!! I THINK KASEY WAS PLAYING POSSUM!!! KASEY IN ONE QUICK SWIFT MOTION TURNS KENSINGTEN AROUND AND LOCKS IN ‘KAOS REIGNSSSS’!!!!!!! THE TAZMISSION IS LOCKED IN HERE AND KENSINGTEN IS THROWING HER ARMS OUT TRYING TO FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS! KASEY IS SCREAMING LIKE A MADWOMAN RIGHT NOW AS KENSINGTEN SEEMS TO BE PANICKING IN THE SUBMISSION HOLD!
Flannery McCoy: KENSINGTEN’S FACE SEEMS TO BE TURNING RED HERE, AND SHE SEEMS TO BE FADING AS SHE’S REACHING OUT FOR THE ROPE, BUT SHE STILL IS SEVERAL FEET FROM IT! KENSINGTEN SEEMS TO BE ON SPAGHETTI LEGS ABOUT TO DROP, AND I THINK THE REFEREE IS ABOUT TO CALL IT!
Jake Mercer: KENSINGTEN IS STILL TRYING TO FIGHT! KENSINGTEN WITH PERHAPS ONE LAST EFFORT RUNS AND LEAPS HERSELF AND USES HER FEET TO PUSH HERSELF OVER KASEY AND THEY BOTH FLIP BACKWARDS! AND NOW KENSINGREN HAS THE PIN ON KASEY!!!
Stew-O: NO!! KASEY ALMOST GOT CAUGHT THERE! BOTH COMPETITORS RACE TO THEIR FEET NOW, AND THEN KENSINGTEN….KENSINGTEN GOES FOR HER SIGNATURE KNOCKOUT PUNCH….THE SOUTHER SWAG SHOOTTTT!!!!!! BUT KSAEY KAOS CAUGHT THE FIST! KASEY IS AGAIN STARING THROUGH THE SOUL OF KENSINGTEN, AND THEN KASEY AGAIN IN THIS MATCH CONNECTS WITH A VICIOUS HEADBUTT TO THE FOREHEAD OF KENSINGTEN! SUPERKICK FROM KASEY NOW!!
Flannery McCoy: BUT NO!!! KENSINGTEN CAUGHT THE LEG! KENSINGTEN THEN CONNECTS WITH A SPINNING LARIAT, BUT KASEY TURNS IT INTO A BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!! KASEY ROLLS AWAY AND USES THE ROPES TO PULL HERSELF UP, AND NOW SHE SEES KENSINGTEN BEGINNING TO STIR IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! KASEY IS LOOKING TO PUT THIS AWAY AND MOVE ON TO THE FINALS AS SHE’S RUNNING TO GO FOR THE ‘CHERRY BOMB’!!!! BUT OH NO!!
Jake Mercer: KENSINGTEN SAW IT COMING! SHE MOVED OUT OF THE WAY, SHE’S BACK UP AND IS WAITING ON KASEY! THE SOUTHERN SWAG SHOTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: KASEY KAOS SOMEHOW MANAGES TO AVOIDS IT BY SIDESTEPPING THE BLOW! AND OH GOSH–KASEY KAOS WITH THE SMALL PACKAGE PIN TO FOLLOW IT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“Cry Little Sister” plays as Kasey rolls out of the ring,both her and Kensingten in shock it was a three count. The referee goes to the outside and raises Kasey’s hand high as she smiles with blood all over her face. )
Stephie Love: HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND MOVING ON TO THE FINALS OF THE SPECIALISTS CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT……KKKAASSEEEYYYY KKAAAAOOOSSSS!!!!
Stew-O: WOW! That came out of nowhere! Kasey did it and she’s moving on to the finals! She will go on to meet Veena Adams in the finals to crown the new Specialists Champion!
Jake Mercer: You mean, THEY did it. :wow:
(Kensingten Calhoun-Astor is running her head in the ring, not believing the tournament just slipped away from her just like that in three seconds. She stands in the center of the ring.)
Stew-O: WAIT, WHAT THE HELL?! LOOK!!!
Jake Mercer: IT’S CANDICE BLAIR!!!! CANDICE BLAIR IS IN THE RING AND SHE’S STANDING BEHIND KENSINGTEN WHO HAS NO IDEA SHE’S BEHIND HER!
(Kensingten finally turns around, and is greeted by Candice Blair with a little wave.)
Flannery McCoy: KENSINGTEN RUNS AT CANDICE, BUT CANDICE WAS READY AS SHE RUNS AND CONNECTS WITH A BICYCLE KNEE STRIKE TO THE FACE!!!
(Candice lifts the head of Kensingten off the mat by the hair.)
Candice Blair: (no mic): It’s the worst mistake you ever made when you decided to mess with me. It’s only going to get worse…starting NOW!
(Candice picks up Kensingten and sets her up, and then Candice Blair connects with the Candy Destroyer in the center of the ring on Kensingten. She looks down at the lifeless Kensingten smiling.)
Candice Blair: (no mic): I’ll see you soon, “sweetheart.”
(The final shot is of Candice standing above Kensingten before the scene fades.)
(A commercial for the returning Mason Massacre as he promotes healthy eating habits, which allowed him to get back into the ring and recover much quicker, not barring that every so often you can have a cheat meal, some people just eat more than others.)
(The camera pans backstage where a backdrop of a sunny paradise island can be seen. The camera pans out and you can see sand covering the floor, along with fake palm trees sprouted about, beach towels, beach ball, and an overall summer vibe. The camera keeps panning out and we see Limmy Monaghan is standing behind a bar-like table with a blender, and wearing a Hawaiian shirt, and a fruit hat with a goofy grin on his face.)
Limmy Monaghan: ¡Hola mi amigos! Hey, I just wanted to welcome you all to the Limmy Monaghan show, and what better way to celebrate my existence than with some nice guava juice? You know what I mean? I got my festive fruit hat, got this sand here probably going to build sandcastles later. But of course the main event is here, the blender. I’m just making some drinks, don’t mind me. Honestly I don’t know the first thing about drink making, but hey! What’s life without a little mystery? Did you ever think about how weird the first people on Earth had to be to drink milk from a cow? Messed up, probably beastilaity, but I digress. I feel like Rachel Ray or Martha Stewart right now; very impressive if I do say so myself.
(Limmy reaches up and grabs a guava, banana, orange, and grapes as he throws it into the blender and starts blending. He tries talking over the sound but you can’t hear him fully)
Limmy Monaghan: So….. and that’s…… panties… but you know… OH GOD!
(The fruit smoothie starts to overflow and spill over the table)
Limmy Monaghan: My lord, the drink is just so good it’s just jumping out with excitement to be drank.
(Limmy dabs a finger in the mixed drink, and takes a taste)
Limmy Monaghan: Hmm not too shabby. You know this drink reminds me a lot of me; just coming into this world, and making an impact on people’s lives. How you ask? I’ll tell you! I am breaking out as a singles star, and if last week was any indication I am going to be running right through the singles division with relative ease. I went out there and beat a Hall of Famer in LC, and do you honestly think I’m done? Nah, I will continue the Limmy parade right down the halls of EAW Headquarters and make them see what they have on their hands. And what they have on their hands is the future of EAW. But you know who isn’t the future? Do you know who might not even have a future in EAW? SEBAS? First of all, did guys know that this dudes name isn’t even really SEBAS? His name is Sebastian! Like I wouldn’t want to be known as Sebastian either, but what is he hiding? Clearly he’s embarrassed about who he is to be hiding such a thing. Not to mention he even has a last name, and like who knew that? I sure didn’t. I thought his name was just SEBAS and he had a very unfortunate childhood. See we know who you are SEBAS, probably had a poor childhood, living in a shack in Puerto Rico, but you made it to the big time. You made it possibly to a place you never even were supposed to be in the first place. Leaving your family behind, because you couldn’t care less if they live or die. Here you are living it large in EAW while your family starves to death in that same little shack down in Puerto Rico. You’re clearly selfish.. I say you ARE because I know the truth.. I know you haven’t changed who you are. People are the same right down to the core, and if push comes to shove you will become the same vapid asshole you were before. Hold on lemme get a little drank up in me!
(Limmy pours the drink into a coconut cup, and plops down onto a towel that was on the sand. A palm tree sits above, giving him shade from the studio lights, and takes a drink)
Limmy Monaghan: Mmmm now that’s good shit. You see SEBAS, Someone like you that came out of a shack, out of a shithole country, could never step toe to toe with someone like me. As you can see I’m taking in the island life experience, I’m doing what you would do every day. A lazy bum just laying on the beach as my family starved to death, but do I care? No, because I’m living my dream. Right? That’s how it works on the island of Puerto Rico when your name is SEBAS? Well let me count my blessings real quick because fortunately this is just make believe and I don’t have to live the life of SEBAS. My family is perfectly well off, living in a home where I get to see them whenever I want. See people like you don’t succeed here SEBAS; people like you could only hope to be someone like me.
(Limmy takes more sips of the drink)
Limmy: The only thing you and your lazy island ever did was learn how to make drinks; but other than that? You can have it. Puerto Rico right? Grasping onto relevancy by being blessed to be acknowledged as a part of the United States.. Not a real state though because we wouldn’t write our name so officially on a third world piece of shit like that right? And now you’re in the USA, you’re a leech sucking American taxpayer money out as you take welfare.. Because we both know EAW isn’t paying you enough to actually live. And as you get the money you never send it back to your poor dying parents back in Puerto Rico… And at House of Glass I’m going to make sure you know exactly where you stand here in EAW, and I hope you get it through your skull that you have no chance, no hope of actually becoming anyone here.. Not while I’m around..
(Limmy goes to take a sip of his drink, but SEBAS breaks through the island backdrop. Limmy notices at the last second and places his drink down so as to not to spill it, but SEBAS gets to him before he’s able to get up to his feet)
Stew-O: ITS SEBAS! Clearly he’s heard enough of Limmy talking trash about him, and he’s taking it to him! Limmy is not expecting this as he tries to get up from off the beach towel, but SEBAS grabs that glass blender jar and shatters it over Limmy’s head! Limmy is dazed, as SEBAS picks Limmy up, SCHRODINGER PARADOX!! — No! Limmy breaks out, and grabs some of the sand that’s laying around and tosses it into SEBAS eyes! He’s blinded for a moment as he starts swinging wildly! Limmy has a gas over his eye, and is bleeding, but a smile still breaks out on his face.
Flannery McCoy: Seems like Limmy has something planned here! He runs over to the fake palm tree and tips it over! It lands on SEBAS!! But it’s plastic and doesn’t hurt that much, so SEBAS gets right back up! Limmy comes charging SEBAS, but SEBAS sidesteps and throws Limmy over the table, and Limmy lands with a thud! That had to hurt!
Jake Mercer: How dare SEBAS come and ruin a tropical time! Why is he so butt hurt anyway, shouldn’t think remind him of home!! Maybe he doesn’t like home, and he’s triggered. Wow what an asshole shunning his past like this. Can you believe this you guys? Guess his true colors have really shined through tonight. And those colors are nothing but bleak!
Stew-O: SEBAS goes over the table, and starts kicking sand into Limmy’s face! Getting it all on his eyes!.. Wait what’s he doing here? He’s… Burying him in the sand? Why? This is weird. SEBAS is taking that sand and just burying Limmy alive! I mean there isn’t that much sand, but he’s doing it! Covering the whole body of Limmy.. Including his face!
Jake Mercer: This is attempted murder, I’m calling ICE..
Stew-O: SEBAS is going over to the drink that Limmy put down earlier.. And is now walking over to Limmy who is buried beneath that sand!
(SEBAS crouches down next to Limmy)
SEBAS: I’m from the Dominican Republic you bitch..
(SEBAS starts pouring the drink onto Limmy’s face, essentially waterboarding him with the drink)
Stew-O: SEBAS IS CREATING THE SENSATION OF DROWNING SOMEONE HELP!!
(Backstage personal come running to the aid of Limmy, as SEBAS just backs away with his arms in the air)
Jake Mercer: DESPICABLE! LIMMY IS DYING IN FRONT OF US!
Flannery McCoy: A tad over dramatic aren’t we?
Jake Mercer: NO!
Stew-O: Limmy took shots at his family, his old home, and his talents as an EAW performer, I think what happened may have been warranted!
Jake Mercer: I MAKE FUN OF YOU AND THAT MEANS YOU CAN MURDER ME?!!
Stew-O: I wish… I mean… We’ll be right back!
(The last shot is seen of Limmy Monaghan hurt and completely doused in what used to be his drink as that was the last shot seen as the camera fades to black)
(A commercial for Komatsu Ogawa is shown as he goes through his Wrestling Dictionary book which is in stores now where he talks about the… Super Plasma Blast Death Match? :dahell:)
(Dynasty fades in from commercial break.)
Stew-O: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the most exciting weekly episodic television show, Elite Answers Wrestling presents, Friday Night Dynasty!
Jake Mercer: This train of action isn’t stopping for one moment because coming up next, Adam Lucas and SEBAS will face off against the team of Limmy Monaghan and Mason Massacre! A prelude to House of Glass, at which Limmy Monaghan will go one on one with SEBAS in a glass weapons match, and Mason Massacre faces Adam Lucas in a glass tables match! That’s if they even make it that far, tonight is going to be an all-out war! There’s certain venom between these two teams, and they won’t have to wait until House of Glass to act on that venom! The bad blood is about to boil over!
Flannery McCoy: Indeed, Jake! Four of EAW’s brightest young lions vying for the chance to gain some much-needed momentum heading into House of Glass. A win tonight would propel them into the lens of title contention, main event possibilities, and more! What an opportunity, this is! Let’s get this bout kicked off, shall we?!
Stephie Love: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A TAG TEAM MATCH AND IT IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!
(‘Survival’ by Eminem begins to play as Adam Lucas eagerly makes his way onto the Dynasty stage.)
Stephie Love: INTRODUCING FIRST, WRESTLING OUT OF NEW YORK, USA, WEIGHING IN AT 231 POOOUUNNDDDSSSS!!! ADAMMMMMMMM ‘THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NEXTTTTTTTT LEEEVEELLLLLLLL’ LUCCCASSSSSSSSS!!!
(Adam Lucas begins his walk to the ring, ‘La Guayaba’ by Riccie Oriach begins to sound in the arena’s speakers, SEBAS appears on stage.)
Stephie Love: INTRODUCING HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER, WEIGHING IN AT 205 POOUUUNNNDDSSSS!!!! WRESTLING OUT OF SANTO DOMINGO, THE DOMIIINNNCAAANNNNNN REPPPUUBBLLIICCCCC, ‘THE TROOPPPIIICCALLLLLLL BREEEEZZEEEEEEE’ SEBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
Flannery McCoy: These two certainly have bright futures ahead of them but they must first make it through this match, then House of Glass. House of Glass, sure to bring nothing but pain and destruction, you can imagine how eager to gain as much momentum as possible all four of these men are. Searching to rebound from a tough loss at Territorial Invasion, SEBAS has his eyes set on the prize still, and he’s prepared to go through war to get that prize. Adam Lucas still finding a foothold here on Dynasty, though he’s sure to be one of the brightest stars this brand’s seen recently! A potent combination are these two, though they’ll have a dangerous duo in front of them tonight!
(‘The Purge’ by ScHoolboy Q, Tyler The Creator, and Kurupt replaces the sound as Mason Massacre, as angry and determined as ever, makes his way down the ramp.)
Stephie Love: INTRODUCING THEIR OPPONENTS, FIRST, WRESTLING OUT OF EASTSIDE, LONG BEACH, CALIIIFORRNIIAAAAAAAA!!!! WEIGHING IN AT 282 POOOUUUNNDDDSSSSSSS!!!! MASSSOOONNNNNNN ‘THE NATURAL BORN KILLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’ MASSSACCCRREEEEEEE!!!!
(Mason rolls into the ring as ‘Remove Your Mask’ by Wolfmother begins to reverberate throughout the arena. The now singles competitor, Limmy Monaghan, makes his way onto the stage.)
Stephie Love: AND HIS PARTNER, WRESTLING OUT OF GLASGOW, SCOTTTLANNNDDDDD, WEIGHING IN AT 191 PPOOOUUNNNNDSSSS!!!! LIMMMYYYYYYYYY ‘THEEEEE SCCCCOOTTTIISSHHHHH X’ MONAGHANNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!
Flannery McCoy: This team is nothing but nasty, laser-focused, and willing to do whatever it takes to come through the other side with a victory. MAson Massacre has proven he’s a force to be reckoned with since his very first moments in the company, and he’s standing next to a former tag team champion tonight. A tag team champion who’s defeated the likes of Rex McAllister, Raven Roberts, Chris Elite, Andre Walker, and more. They are no joke, and they are both looking to grab the brass ring that House of Glass offers. But first, they have to make their mark here tonight! Let’s get this bout going! All four men are ready for war, let’s go!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Flannery McCoy: And we’re underway! Limmy Monaghan and SEBAS to begin this match, these two will meet in a glass weapons match at House of Glass, but we’ll get a glimpse of what’s to come right now! Meeting in the middle, locking horns are these two, Limmy Monaghan able to pick the ankle of SEBAS, dragging him down to the canvas. Now perhaps looking for a crossface! SEBAS able to scramble back up to his feet, grabbing the neck of Limmy and shoving him away. Back to the center Limmy fires off an elbow, SEBAS avoids, and nails Limmy with a nasty chop! A chop right t the chest! AND AGAIN! SEBAS chopping away at Limmy, now Limmy with a knuckle arrow to counter! BUT SEBAS HAD IT SCOUTED! A pele kick to the skull of Limmy! SEBAS with a brilliant counter, evading the punch and neutralizing Limmy early!
Jake Mercer: Now SEBAS back to his corner, tagging in Adam Lucas. Limmy just barely back up to his feet, Lucas sizing him up for a dropkick! A standing dropkick to the chin of Limmy Monaghan! Now possibly searching for a german suplex, not allowing Limmy any room to breathe. But Monaghan is trying to fight out of it, attempting to escape the maneuver! Elbows to the skull of Adam Lucas! Limmy manages to fight his way out, and make it to his corner! Wait, no! Adam’s caught his leg before Limmy could make his way to the corner, now Limmy with boots to the face! Up-kicking Adam Lucas, now scrambling to the corner, Mason Massacre is in! Mason now legal in this match, he wants to take a piece of his House of Glass opponent right here and now!
Stew-O: Mason Massacre launches himself over the ropes with a vaulting body press, taking out Adam Lucas! Now blasting SEBAS off the apron, Mason Massacre wants to make quick work of these two! Now lifting Adam Lucas onto his shoulders for a Samoan drop! Rattling the ring with the body of Lucas as Massacre delivers a thunderous Samoan drop, now screaming into the camera! Mason Massacre is feeling himself right now! SEBAS slide snack into the ring, leveling Mason Massacre with a clothesline! Payback for Mason’s attack earlier! Karma is a b word, fellas! Limmy Monaghan back into the mix now, a running soccer kick to the shin of SEBAS, dropping ‘The Tropical Breeze’! Driving him over the top rope and to the floor is Limmy, but Adam Lucas now dumps Limmy out after him! This is a melee!
Jake Mercer: Mason Massacre and Adam Lucas now squaring off, the two legal men. Mason with a wild swing! But Adam Lucas avoids it and nails Mason with a step-up enzeguiri! That boot rattling off the skull of Mason Massacre! Lucas off the ropes again- MASON CAUGHT HIM, MASON WITH A KNEE STRIKE TO THE MIDSECTION, NOW HE’S GOT HIM IN POSITION! URANAGE!! THAT URANAGE SPIKING ADAM LLUCAS OFF THE CANVAS! WHAT A MOVE FROM MASON MASSACRE! SEBAS is out of it, he’s got no idea where he is! Mason now with a running senton, crushing the ribs of Adam Lucas, who didn’t have the wherewithal to get out of the way! A nasty move from Mason Massacre, who goes in for the cover now!
Flannery McCoy: KICKOUT!
Flannery McCoy: Adam Lucas manages to power out, getting that shoulder off the mat with a split second to go! Back outside the ring, SEBAS and Limmy Monaghan aren’t gonna wait for House of Glass! Brawling on the floor, Limmy up to his feet as he drags SEBAS by the hair. SMASHING THE FACE OF SEBAS OFF THE APRON! Dirty play from Limmy Monaghan but he’ll need any advantage he can get come this House of Glass! SEBAS still stunned, just barely- WAIT, HE WAS PLAYING POSSUM! SUPERKICK TO THE FACE OF LIMMY MONAGHAN! THE HEAD SNAPPING BACK, SEBAS ISN’T DONE WITH HIM YET! DRIVING LIMMY FACE FIRST INTO THE BARRICADE, CRASHING DOWN GOES MONAGHAN! SEBAS giving us a preview of the intensity he’s bringing to his upcoming match with Limmy!
Stew-O: SEBAS is back up to the apron, but Mason is controlling Adam Lucas. Not allowing him to get to his feet. Lucas is fighting, though Mason is just too powerful, too careful, too despicable! Sweeping the leg now is Mason, AND HE STOMPS ON THE HEAD OF ADAM LUCAS! GOOD GOD, THAT MANS BRAIN’S ARE SPLATTERED ALL OVER THE CANVAS LIKE A JACKSON POLLOCK! MASON AND ALL HIS ENORMITY ARE HEADED TO THE TOP ROPE! TERRY IS GONNA FLY-, I MEAN, MASON! MASON IS GONNA TAKE FLIGHT! WHAT THE HELL?! SEBAS NOW BARKING AT MASON, SEBAS TRYING TO PULL AWAY MASON’S ATTENTION! The referee is warning SEBAS to get back to his corner, but he’s given Adam Lucas the time to recover that he needed! ADAM LUCAS BACK TO HIS FEET, QUICKLY SCALING THE ROPES!!! OH NO, HE’S GOT MASON HOOKED, WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING??? A CRADLE PILEDRIVER??!? NOT FROM THAT HEIGHT?!?
Flannery McCoy: HE’LL FLATTEN THE ENTIRE RING, DON’T DO IT!
Jake Mercer: ADAM LUCAS WITH A THUNDEROUS AVALANCHEEEEEEE CRADLEEEE PILLLEEEEDRIVVVERRRRR TO MASON MASSACREEE!!!!! HE JUST DROPPED MASON MASSACRE ON HIS HEAD FROM THE TOP ROPE, THE BIGGER THEY ARE, THE HARDER THEY FALL! SEBAS TAGS HIMSELF IN, HE’S NOW HEADING TO THE TOP! SEBAS WITH A FROG SPLASH TO MASON!!!! SEBAS HAS LAUNCHED HIMSELF ONTO THE BODY OF MASSACRE, AND SEALED HIS FATE!!!! HE’S GOING FOR THE COVER, THIS IS GOING TO BE IT!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: –
Jake Mercer: –
Stew-O: LIMMY MONAGHAN IN AT THE VERY LAST SECOND TO SAVE MASON MASSACRE, BREAKING UP THE PIN, SAVING THIS MATCH FOR HIS TEAM! THE FORMER TAG TEAM CHAMPION SAVING MASON MASSACRE FROM CERTAIN DEFEAT! Limmy Monaghan now dragged to the outside by Adam Lucas, engaging in a brawl! Limmy with sharp elbows to the face of Lucas, slicing him open, BUT LUCAS FIGHTING BACK WITH A KNEE TO THE MIDSECTION, NOW LOOKING FOR A SPINEBUSTER AGAINST THE APRON! LIMMY IS ABLE TO FIGHT OFF ADAM LUCAS WITH A THUMB IN THE EYE! DIRTY TACTICS FROM MONAGHAN AGAIN, NOW A NECKBREAKER ON THE FLOOR! Adam Lucas’ neck slams against the floor, Limmy isn’t giving him any resting room! Lucas starting to get to his feet, LIMMY FLIES IN WITH A SLINGBLADE! AGAIN, PLANTING LUCAS ON HIS NECK! LIMMY MAY HAVE FOUND A TARGET!
Flannery McCoy: Mason Massacre is beginning to stir, SEBAS has in his sights! Urging Mason to get to his feet, chomping at the bit to attack! SEBAS IN WITHA CODEBREAKER- BUT MASON CAUGHT HIM, HE PLUCKED HIM OUT OF THE AIR! POSITIONING SEBAS FOR A LAST RIDE POWERBOMB! LIFTING SEBAS INTO THE SKIES, WAIT, SEBAS ESCAPES OUT THE BACKDOOR, REVERSE HURRRIIICCANNRAANNAAA!!! SEBAS WITH A REVERSE HURRICANRAN TO THE MASON MASSACRE, THE SKULL OF MASON PLANTED INTO THE CANVAS! Mason wisely rolling outside the ring, falling to the floor, SEBAS follows him out. Limmy Monaghan blasts SEBAS from behind with a ‘Sundowner’! THAT KNEE TO THE SPINE THIS TIME, LIMMY MODIFIED IT TO DELIVER TO THE BACK OF SEBAS! FLATTENING HIM! Helping Mason back to his feet! They’ve got something devious in mind! Mason taking the waist of SEBAS, looking for a german suplex! LIMMY WITH THE ‘ARMOR BREAKER’ AS MASON DRIVES SEBAS INTO THE FLOOR WITH A GERMAN! WHAT A COMBINATION!
Jake Mercer: MASON ISN’T FINISHED, HE’S KEPT WRIST CONTROL! MASON UP TO HIS FEET AGAIN, RIPCORD LARIAT TAKES THE HEAD OF SEBAS! THAT’S GOTTA BE ALL! MASON ROLLS SEBAS BACK INTO THE RING, TAGGING IN LIMMY MONAGHAN! LIMMY SIZING SEBAS UP NOW! BULLCHARGING OUT OF THE CORNER- SEBAS WITH A FLYING KNEE STRIKE TO THE FACE!!! HE STUNNED LIMMY! HE’S FIGHTING BACK, LIMMY IS TRYING TO SHAKE IT OFF, BUT HE JUST GOT ROCKED! SEBAS IN HIS CORNER, BUT NOBODY IS THERE, ADAM LUCAS IS ON THE FLOOR, BARELY STIRRING! SEBAS TURNS AROUND, LIMMY WITH THE ‘DDTYSTOPIA’!!!!! THAT FRONT FLIP DDT LANDED, LIMMY GOES IN FOR THE COVER ON SEBAS, THAT’S ALL, THIS IS IT!!!!
Jake Mercer: …
Flannery McCoy: …
Stew-O: ADAM LUCAS BREAKS IT UP AT THE LAST SECOND!!!!! THE BELL WAS A MILLSECND AWAY FROM BEING RANG! ADMA LUCAS SAVING THE MATCH FOR HIMSELF AND SEBAS, LIMMY MONAGHAN IS LIVID! Mason around to the other side, looking to take out Adam Lucas completely, but Lucas flies off the apron with a forearm to the face of Mason! Intercepting him before he could get there! Now Lucas dragging Mason over to our announcer’s table, what the hell, this isn’t the tables match?!? HE’S GONNA DO IT ANYWAY! LUCAS WITH PUNCHES TO THE FACE OF MASON, TRYING TO SET HIM UP ON THE TABLE! LIMMY MONAGHAN IS ON THE OUTSIDE, HE ATTACKS ADAM FROM BEHIND, AND SAVES MASON MASSACRE! NOW ADAM LUCAS IS SET UP ON THE TABLE! LIMMY POUNDING AWAY AT LUCAS, BUT SEBAS LAUNCHES LIMMY OVER THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE! SEBAS OUT OF NOWHERE SENDS LIMMY BARELLING INTO OUR SPANISH COMMENTARY TEAM! NOW, WAIT, WHAT THE HELL?!?! SEBAS DRAGS LIMMY ONTO THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!
Jake Mercer: LIMMY FIGHTS BACK WITH A HEADBUTT, SEBAS IS ROCKED!!! NOW IT’S SEBAS WITH A CODEBREAKER ON THR TABLLLLEEEEEEE!!!! IT DIDN’T BREAK, SOMEHOW THE TABLE STAYED UP, BUT LIMMY’S FALLEN ON TOP OF ADAM LUCAS, MASON MASSACRE BACK UP, HE DELIVERS A SAMOAN BLITZ TO THE FACE OF SEBAS!! SEBAS NOW FALLS ON TOP OF THE MASS OF BODIES!!! THAT’S THREE MEN ON OUR ANNOUNCERS TABLE, HOW IS IT STAYING UP!?!? WAIT, WHAT THE HELL?!?! Mason searching for something under the ring?!?! What the hell could he be looking for? He’s got a steel chair in his hand now, I’m not sure what exactly he’s thinking- NO, WAIT A MINUTE, MASON IS BACK IN THE RING, HE’S ASCENDING THE ROPES!!!! NO, DON’T DO THIS!!! HE’LL END HIS CAREER AS WELL AS THESE THREE MEN!!! MASON IS ABOUT TO LEVEL THE FACE OF EARTH WITH A MOVE HERE!!!! MASON ON THE TOP ROPE!!! HE’S GOT THE CHAIR ON HIS BACK!!!! MASON!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!! MASSSSONNNN MASSACCREEEEE OFFF THE TOP ROPE, CRASSHHHIIING THROUGH THE TABLE, DESTROYING ALL THREEEEEEE MENNNNNN!!!!!! HOLY SHITTTTTTT!!!! MASON SURELY JUST ENDED THIS!!!!! NONE OF THESE MEN ARE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT CONSCIOUS!!!!
Flannery McCoy: THE REFEREE IS COUNTING, BUT NONE OF THEM CAN GET BACK IN THE RING, THEY CAN’T EVEN MOVE! THEY’RE BURIED UNDER A PILE OF DESTRUCTION!!! THE REFEREE IS AT 9…..THAT’S IT, THEY CAN’T MAKE THE COUNT, THIS MATCH IS OVER!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stephie Love: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, NONE OF THESE MEN ARE ABLE TO RE-ENTER THE RING, THIS BOUT HAS BEEN RULED A NO CONTEST!
Jake Mercer: Good god. What a match. All four of these men laid it all on the line and left it all out in the ring. On the outside of the ring, rather!
Stew-O: If that’s just a preview, imagine the violence at House of Glass! It’ll be an absolute massacre, no pun intended!
Flannery McCoy: My lord, like the end result, or not, these men certainly didn’t disappoint tonight. Mason Massacre may have just caused earthquakes across the globes, but he won’t be walking into HOG scar-free. Thank you for sticking with us, Dynasty will return soon with more action!
(Dynasty fades to commercial break.)
(A commercial featuring Xander Payne’s dad where he talks about 22andMe and how somehow through his family tree, Xander is 25% black)
(The camera fades back to ringside where the Russian flag is shown flying high in the ring.)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen at this time please welcome to the ring…. NIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNAAAAA BRRRRRRRRRRRAVOOOOOO!!!!
(Nina Bravo makes her way to the ring to “Come Thru” by Summer Walker ft. Usher with a big smile on her face as a large oil painting of Vladimir Putin is slowly lowered into the ring.)
Flannery McCoy: What the hell is this?
Jake Mercer: That is Russia’s great leader Flannery! Show some respect!
Stew-O: I just wish he would put his shirt on…
(The music slowly fades out as Nina takes a microphone and stands in the ring posing dramatically.)
Nina Bravo: Good evening foolish Americans!
Crowd: USA! USA! USA!
Nina Bravo: Oh you are proud of your country are you? Ha! Don’t make me laugh! I spit on your pathetic American soil and your pathetic American politicians!
Crowd: BOOOOO! GO BACK TO POLAND!
Nina Bravo: I’m from Russia you idiot! But I would not expect anything less from you low IQ rednecks. For you see every Russian troll or bot that you may have encountered on social media that has been me all along! I know the inner workings of your political system and I watch the circus unfold. I watch CNN every night so you know I am an informed voice in the political debate. All of you dirty Fox News watching rednecks could never hope to compete with my intelligence.
Jake Mercer: Oh shit she’s talking about you Flannery!
Flannery McCoy: Shhh I only watch cuz Sean Hannity gets momma going late at night an- wait that is none of your business!
Nina Bravo: Honestly you Americans are just dumb in literally every goddamn way! I mean come on. Did you watch the presidential debate? Oh and that was a joke by the way about watching CNN I of course only get my news from RT. You probably haven’t heard of it. You Americans watching me right now all wish you could be like your disgusting President and grab me by the pussy but there is in fact only one man who can do that. However you are all welcome to try. See what happens.
Jake Mercer: I’m gonna try.
Flannery McCoy: No you are not.
Nina Bravo: You all fear me. That is good. You should fear me considering your President is owned by my President. That in fact means all of you Americans are but lowly colonists in the mighty Russian Empire! Soon you shall be our slaves as well! But before that let us re-live your glorious downfall!
Crowd: USA! USA! USA!
Nina Bravo: Um excuse me? I’m speaking?
Crowd : USA! USA! US-
Nina Bravo: No I don’t think you heard me. I’m speaking.
Nina Bravo: That’s better. Now we in Russia all witnessed that absolutely pathetic circus you Americans actually call a presidential debate. All I saw was two old white guys with brain damage yelling at each other over which unseasoned chicken tastes worse. One of your candidates likes being pissed on in Russian hotels and the other has a crackhead son. I don’t even know how you people wake up every morning and still have pride in your country. Now I am hearing rumors that your current President wants to make an EAW appearance after the election! Imagine such a powerful disgracing himself like that by appearing on a pro wrestling program! Sad!
Stew-O: Wait isn’t she on one right now th-
Nina Bravo: Will you shut the hell up man?
Stew-O: Damn I walked right into that one.
Nina Bravo: Imagine voting for the guy who played Despacito to try and score the Hispanic vote. I guess the only other option is the guy putting them in cages and calling them rapists and murders and building a wall to keep them out. Oh and remember when your President told the whole crowd to “look at my African-American” over there? And then told them to vote for him because “what the hell do you have to lose”? Yeah that’s the guy who has record numbers of black support for a Republican president. I can’t believe you fell for that line! Mr. Putin came up with it himself! Oh and don’t forget about the other guy. Mr. Dementia and his “if you don’t vote for me you ain’t black”. He’s probably right tho because you Americans really don’t have a mind of your own do you! Hi Kensingten. I know you are listening and laughing along enjoying all of this too. Well you can stop now because you are by far the stupidest. You actually think that Trump means it when he denounces white supremacy? You know they had to practically beg him to say it and he resisted crying and screaming the whole way! And let’s not even get into Biden and his views on segregation. Not to mention his multiple KKK affiliated “mentors” in his political career. Nah I’m sure you Americans will all just bury your head in the sand and vote for some ideal version of the politician you think likes you and will do good things for you. The facts are you are all just puppets and they don’t care about you all they care about is controlling you and the sad thing is they themselves are not even in control. Uncle Vlad is! Hahaha!
Flannery McCoy: Well we are going to get a fact checker on that unhinged political rant very soon. We suspect there may be quite a few inaccuracies and we ar- wait a minute… This is a pro wrestling show not a news channel! We don’t have to fact check shit!
Jake Mercer: I am being told that Facebook and Twitter have already shut down the live Dynasty streams for “misinformation”. 4Chan is not going to be happy about this.
Nina Bravo: Now as far as this Coronavirus goes. You really think the government will do anything to save you poor pathetic American peasants? No you will starve and die in the cold like a Russian dog because that is all you are good for! You know you can all learn a little something something from Mother Russia. We were the first country to develop a vaccine after all. What do you Americans have? Nothing! Nothing at all but your pathetic facemasks most of you morons can’t even bring yourselves to wear correctly! Oh you should really be proud. Probably why your President clings to neo nazis like the Proud Boys cuz he is so desperate to be proud of something when really he has nothing to be proud of. Are they even a white supremacist group? Who knows they sound more like a gay pride organization to me and that is really the state of your country. Everything is either racist or gay or both. Well almost everything. There is actually one boy I am proud of. A real American. Not an illegal immigrant like half of the people in this audience. This is a man who exposes all of the American Elitists on the EAW roster for the peons that they are. Dumb useless Americans all of them! But this one I admit is pretty good. One that I can fully support. He has been a great influence in my life and I want to offer him my “endorsement” if you know what I mean.
Jake Mercer: Oh yeah. I think I know what she means.
Flannery McCoy: Well I guess this is the part where we have to listen to her gush over The Visual Prophet. Might as well catch up on Power Book II: Ghost sponsored by Starz while I am waiting. Let me know when she is done wishing him luck in his title defense and all that.
Nina Bravo: Oh you would think I was talking about Vizzy wouldn’t you? Oh certainly not reptile brained one! Hahaha no of course not! I am just full of surprises! Look look!
(The camera cuts to the Titantron where live footage of Jalyn Garcia appears.)
Stew-O: Wait what the hell?
Jalyn Garcia: Thanks for inviting me Nina. Hello EAW universe!
Crowd: JALYN! JALYN! JALYN!
Nina Bravo: Oh yes we do love him don’t we! This guy has helped me so much! You have no idea!
Jalyn Garcia: Hahaha glad to be of service. So you gonna give me this “endorsement” huh gurrl I can hardly wait. You coming back to my place or…
Nina Bravo: Oh no no no you have all the wrong idea! I mean you have helped me oh so much! You have been such a high and mighty and influential force in my life! Really taught me a thing or two! Such a big brained American hero you are
Jalyn Garcia: Well I try.
Nina Bravo: You sure do. You try your besty best and deserve a lollypop! You know you really do need something to suck on. I could not be more proud to endorse you.
Jalyn Garcia: Oh no I get it. You are making fun of me.
Nina Bravo: Oh he’s a quick one huh? Hahaha no no no but really I do want to thank you. Thank you so very much for looking down on me and patronizing me with your constant mansplaining. How about I offer you a reward. I know your privileged American ass is used to being handed things without working for it so how about you have a match with me at House of Glass.
Jalyn Garcia: Hey there it is! You’re on! You know you should really just shut the hell up. This is sports not politics. But at House of Glass I will force you to just shut up and wrestle.
(Jalyn disappears from the screen as “Martyr (Waves)” by Polaris hits.)
Nina Bravo: No! NO! I am not done yet. I will get the last word here. I haven’t even talked about the President’s taxes yet. Oh just wait that’s a spicy one first of al-
(Jalyn’s theme begins playing louder as Nina’s mic is cut off. She yells and grabs the Russian flag waving it proudly as she storms backstage.)
Flannery McCoy: Well that was quite an outburst.
Jake Mercer: She had some good points. You can’t say she didn’t.
Stew-O: I mean… uh anyway… the important thing here is that we have a new match for House of Glass. Jalyn Garcia vs. Nina Bravo and that should be one hell of an epic battle!
Flannery McCoy: Make sure you vote everybody!
Jake Mercer: And do it in person because otherwise there’s gonna be all kinds of cheating amirite?
Stew-O: Oh god here we go…
(The camera cuts to a commercial for Bodybuilding.com the site for people who want a healthy body and a racist mind.)
(Dynasty comes back from commercial break as it shows Stephie Love standing in the middle of the ring with a smile as she speaks)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen the following is a ROUND ONE TAG TEAM MATCH FOR THE GRAND PRIX!!! And it is scheduled for…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
(Before long ‘Blixky Gang Freestyle’ by 22Gz plays up to cheers as Malcolm Jones and Chris Elite make their way out to the stage. Both of them look determined as they look at one another at the center of the stage before posing on que with one another as they make their way down the ramp and to the ring)
Stephie Love: Introducing first… at a combined weight of 440 pounds… the team of BIG 092MLBOA MALCOLM JONES!!!!!!!!!! AND GAWD’S GIVEN GREATNESS CHRIS ELITE!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BLICKY BOYZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: And here come The Blicky Boyz! And what is there to say about them? We have both Malcolm Jones and Chris Elite who are former World Champions in their own right, and we already know what the both of them are capable of as a team, recently teaming at Fighting Spirit 2020 against The Jaded Hearts AND beating them as well, it’s clear their sights are set tonight on the Grand Prix looking to solidify their status as a tag team.
Flannery McCoy: No doubt about it and there will be a lot of challenges in their way as well that they have to face and I think they welcome that if not anything else. They’re dead set on glory as they’ve always been and we’re going to be seeing nothing but a superb performance from them tonight!
Jake Mercer: You see I would sing along to this song but I feel like I’d fuck up and say something I’d regret.
Stew-O: Like what? :mjpls:
Jake Mercer: Nothing… :krabs:
(The Blicky Boyz stand at the bottom of the ramp as Chris Elite runs forward and slides into the ring as he jumps up to the top rope as Malcolm Jones circles around the ring before jumping up onto the apron to the right of Elite as both of them pose where they stand before entering into the ring and making their way to their corner as ‘Blixky Gang Freestyle’ fades out. After a pause ‘Bank’ by Earthgang plays up to cheers as Justin Windgate and Jon Kelton come out to the stage. Justin hypes up the crowd as Jon stands at the center as he poses as both of them look at one another before responding with a nod as they begin to make their way down the ramp and to the ring)
Stephie Love: And their opponents… at a combined weight of 435 pounds… the team of THE XTREME CLASSIC JUSTIN WINDGATE!!!!!!!!!! AND THE 24/7 CONTRACT HOLDER, THE CHOSEN ONE JON KELTON!!!!!!!!! COMEBACK SZN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: What a team that we’re seeing, the combined team of Justin Windgate and Jon Kelton! Both of them have shown what they’re capable of in that ring and the respect they have dated back to Midsummer Massacre for sure and not just the common trend that they’re from EAW’s past.
Flannery McCoy: If we know anything about them we know the fact that they can put on a show no matter the circumstance we’re in and I think we’re about to see that tonight. No doubt in my mind that fact and they have the power in their hands to even pull out a win tonight in what might seem like a surprise to most, let’s see it!
Jake Mercer: Did you know the Comeback SZN teamed before this, all the way back before even EAW?! The 1990s was a great decade. :whew:
(Justin makes his way around the ring as he jumps up onto the apron and up onto the top rope as Jon enters in and heads to the center of the ring. Both begin to pose next to one another as Justin jumps off and meets Jon at the center of the ring as both of them fistbump before meeting in their corner as ‘Bank’ fades out and the Ref signals for the bell)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: AND HERE WE GO! GRAND PRIX! ROUND ONE! WE ARE UNDERWAY!
Flannery McCoy: We have Malcolm Jones and Justin Windgate starting off for each team as both of them are beginning to methodically circle around the ring. Malcolm and Justin quickly locking up with one another as they’re jockeying for position, trying to find a stationary base for the both of them! Malcolm beginning to slowly push Justin into the corner as he backs him up as the Ref is already running over to split them up! Both of them separating, BUT MALCOLM GOING FOR A ELBOW TO THE FACE! BUT JUSTIN DUCKS UNDER!
Jake Mercer: Justin is one step ahead as he’s wagging his finger at Malcolm as he turns around, AND THEY’RE OFF! MALCOLM GOING FOR A RUNNING LARIAT! But Justin slides under it as he grabs Malcolm by the leg trying to take him down to the ground, BUT MALCOLM TURNS AND GOES FOR AN ENZUIGIRI! But Justin ducks under as he keeps ahold of the leg, AS HE SLAMS IT DOWN INTO THE CANVAS!
Stew-O: Malcolm rolling around but he’s getting up to a sitting position, JUSTIN GOING TO BOOT HIM IN THE FACE! But Malcolm rolling backward and up to his feet as both him and Justin are up, AND MALCOLM CONNECTS WITH A SMOOTH DROPKICK! Justin managing to keep himself up as he falls down to a knee as Malcolm runs forward, AND GOES FOR A BASEMENT DROPKICK TO JUSTIN’S FACE! But Justin rolling to his right as he steps back, AND CONNECTS WITH A SUPERKICK TO THE JAW OF MALCOLM SENDING HIM DOWN!
Flannery McCoy: Malcolm slowly beginning to stir as he grabs his face bringing himself up onto a knee, BUT IT’S JUSTIN THAT GOES FOR A QUICK ROUNDHOUSE KICK! But it’s Malcolm that ducks down as it allows him to get back up to his feet as Justin is moving forward, BUT MALCOLM WITH A QUICK EUROPEAN UPPERCUT CRACKING THE JAW OF JUSTIN AS IT SENDS HIM BACK! Justin moving forward, BUT IT’S MALCOLM WITH AN ATOMIC DROP WHICH SENDS HIM BACKWARDS!
Jake Mercer: Justin making his way to a corner as Malcolm is moving in on him, BUT JUSTIN WITH A SWIFT REVERSE STO AS MALCOLM LANDS FACE FIRST ONTO THE MIDDLE TURNBUCKLE! Malcolm is dazed as Justin is bringing him up and bringing him over to his corner as Jon Kelton is there reaching out his hand for the tag in for Comeback SZN!
Stew-O: AND KELTON IS TAGGED IN! Justin keeping a hold of him in the corner as Kelton runs forward, AND CONNECTS WITH A CORNER SPEAR TO THE GUT OF MALCOLM STABBING RIGHT THROUGH HIM! Malcolm falling to a seated position as Kelton makes his way over to the opposite corner on the other side of the ring and running towards Malcolm, AND GOING FOR A CORNER RUNNING KNEE TO HIS HEAD! BUT IT’S MALCOLM THAT MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AS KELTON’S KNEE MEETS THE BOTTOM TURNBUCKLE! Kelton retreating away grabbing his leg as Malcolm is already setting him up, AND CONNECTS WITH A SUPLEX THAT TAKES KELTON DOWN!
Flannery McCoy: Kelton jumping up in pain as he’s grabbing the middle rope, AND MALCOLM MOVES FORWARD AND SENDS AN AXE HANDLE TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD! Malcolm lifting his arm up, AND GOING FOR ANOTHER ONE! BUT KELTON SENDS A ELBOW TO HIS GUT! He completely takes Malcolm off guard as he’s sent back as it’s Kelton on the offense now against him, KELTON TAKING MALCOLM DOWN WITH A SPINEBUSTER! Kelton going for an early pin attempt in this match!
Jake Mercer: AND IT’S MALCOLM THAT KICKS OUT JUST BEFORE THREE! Malcolm is shooting his hand out to his corner as Kelton sees that as he mounts on top of him, AND BEGINS TO SLAM MULTIPLE PUNCHES INTO HIS FACE! FIST AFTER FIST AS THE REF QUICKLY INTERVENES TO SPLIT THE TWO! Malcolm sitting up absolutely dazed as Kelton runs to the ropes and back, AND GOES FOR A PENALTY KICK!
Stew-O: But it’s Malcolm that grabs the leg of Kelton and pushes it away as it allows him to get up to his feet! Malcolm stumbling over to his corner as Kelton is quickly moving trying to make sure that doesn’t happen, BUT MALCOLM SENDS A SIDE KICK TO HIS GUT SENDING HIM DROPPING DOWN TO A KNEE! Malcolm grabbing Kelton by the head and throwing him towards the corner as he reaches out for the tag!
Flannery McCoy: AND IT’S CHRIS ELITE THAT’S TAGGED IN! Both Blicky Boyz are sending Kelton to the ropes and back, AS MALCOLM CATCHES KELTON WITH ANOTHER KICK TO THE GUT! AS ELITE CONNECTS WITH DREAMING! AXE KICK TO THE BACK OF KELTON’S HEAD CONNECTS AS ELITE ROLLS HIM OVER AND GOES FOR THE PIN ATTEMPT!
Jake Mercer: BUT IT’S KELTON THAT KICKS OUT! Elite is back up to his feet already as he sends Kelton into an Irish whip to the corner as he leaves Kelton backed up against it as he runs forward, AND DRIVES A KNEE INTO HIS GUT! Kelton is weakened as Elite grabs him by the arm and sends him into another Irish whip to the ropes now as Kelton rebounds off the ropes and back to him, ELITE GOING FOR A BICYCLE KICK! BUT KELTON GOES UNDER THE LEGS AND GRABS HIM FROM BEHIND! AND LIFTS HIM UP GOING FOR A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!
Stew-O: BUT THAT’S NOT ENOUGH AS CHRIS ELITE LANDS ON HIS FEET! Kelton turning around trying to get up to his feet, BUT ELITE GRABS HIS ARMS AND DRIVES A KNEE RIGHT INTO HIS FACE WITH A VICIOUS KAMIGOYE! Kelton completely frozen on a knee as he’s absolutely dazed as Elite runs to the ropes and back, AS HE GOES FOR A SHINING WIZARD TO THE HEAD OF KELTON!
Flannery McCoy: BUT IT’S KELTON THAT DUCKS HIS HEAD DOWN AS ELITE CATCHES NOTHING BUT AIR! Elite back up to his feet as Kelton is behind him, AND THIS TIME CONNECTS WITH THE GERMAN SUPLEX DROPPING ELITE DOWN ONTO HIS NECK! Elite grabbing his head as Kelton is readying himself, HE’S GOING FOR THE UNPRETTIER! AVADA KEDAVRA!
Jake Mercer: BUT ELITE SLIPS OUT AND THROWS HIM INTO A CORNER! Kelton backed up as Elite runs forward, BUT KELTON MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND THROWS HIM INTO THE CORNER AS HE GRABS ELITE BY THE ARM AND THROWS HIM INTO HIS OWN CORNER!
Stew-O: AND JUSTIN WINDGATE IS TAGGED BACK IN! Kelton throwing Elite down to the center of the ring as Justin is climbing up to the top rope, AND JUSTIN JUMPS OFF GOING FOR A CROSSBODY AS HE TAKES DOWN ELITE! Justin kipping back up to his feet as he runs to the ropes as Elite is getting up to his feet as well, SPEAR TO THE GUT OF ELITE TAKING HIM DOWN TO THE GROUND!
Flannery McCoy: Justin already off to a fiery start as he’s up to his feet and jumps onto the apron as Elite is persistent in his attacks getting up to his feet, AS JUSTIN GOES FOR A SPRINGBOARD MOVE! BUT ELITE WITH A FOREARM TO THE HEAD OF JUSTIN LEAVING HIM DANGLING WITH ONE HAND ON THE TOP ROPE AND BARELY HANGING ON THE APRON! Elite sending multiple punches to the face of Justin as he’s trying to make sure that he’s out onto the ringside area, BUT JUSTIN WITH A ELBOW TO THE HEAD OF ELITE! BUT ELITE QUICKLY TURNS IT AROUND AND CONNECTS WITH A ENZUIGIRI TO THE SIDE OF JUSTIN’S HEAD SENDING HIM OFF THE APRON AND TO THE RINGSIDE AREA! Elite waiting for Justin to get up now as he runs to the ropes and back looking to fly, AS HE FLATTENS JUSTIN WITH A TOPE CON HILO!
Jake Mercer: Justin is taken down as Elite is bringing him up to his feet once more, AND THROWS HIM SPINE FIRST INTO THE BARRICADE! Justin left an absolute heap as Elite is following through and bringing him up and to the ringpost, AS HE SLAMS HIS FACE IN! BUT JUSTIN HOLDS OUT HIS LEG AND SENDS A ELBOW TO ELITE BEFORE HE CAN DO THAT! Elite is forced to let go but he’s right back on the attack, BUT JUSTIN SIDESTEPS AND THROWS ELITE FACE FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST INSTEAD FOR HIS TROUBLES!
Stew-O: Justin rolling Elite back into the ring as this match is off to a quickening pace once more as Justin is entering back in as well. Elite is on all fours, AS JUSTIN RUNS FORWARD AND DRIVES A FOOT INTO HIS GUT CAUSING HIM TO FLIP OVER ONTO HIS BACK! Elite in pain as he’s using the bottom rope to keep himself upright, AS JUSTIN CRACKS A KICK ONTO HIS FACE! Elite is completely out of it at the moment as Justin is the one grabbing him by the head and setting him up, JUSTIN GOING FOR RUN IT UP! SLICED BREAD #2!
Flannery McCoy: WAIT! WAIT! ELITE KEEPS HIM UP IN THE AIR AS HE TURNS HIM AROUND AND TAKES HIM DOWN WITH A SPINNING SIDE SLAM! Elite getting up and scaling up the turnbuckles as he’s up on the top rope now as Justin doesn’t know where he is! AS ELITE JUMPS OFF AND DROPS DOWN CONNECTING WITH A SICK FROG SPLASH AS JUSTIN CURLS UP IN PAIN WITH ELITE HOOKING THE LEG AS WELL GOING FOR A PIN ATTEMPT!
Jake Mercer: BUT IT’S JUSTIN THAT POWERS OUT! Elite bringing Justin up to his feet, BUT JUSTIN WITH A FOREARM SENDING HIM BACK! Justin trying to fight back as much as he can in this match, BUT ELITE STEPS FORWARD AND SENDS A KNEE TO HIS GUT FORCING HIM TO DOUBLE OVER! Elite bringing Justin over to the corner now, AS HE SLAMS HIS HEAD REPEATEDLY INTO THE CORNER!
Stew-O: BEFORE TAGGING IN MALCOLM JONES! Malcolm is in as he enters in as Elite keeps him in the corner, AS MALCOLM CONNECTS WITH A CHOP BLOCK TO JUSTIN! Justin falling down to a knee as Malcolm is bringing him over to the center of the ring, AND TAKES HIM DOWN WITH A SMOOTH SUPLEX! Now Malcolm transitioning as he locks in a side headlock on Justin now keeping it slow and making sure that Justin stays on the ground!
Flannery McCoy: Justin trying to escape out of it but Malcolm is just wrenching away on his neck making sure he stays subdued, but Justin is continuing to persevere through it! WAIT! JUSTIN ROLLING THROUGH AND INTO A BACKSLIDE PIN AS HE PUSHES AWAY LEAVING MALCOLM ON A KNEE AND JUSTIN UP ONTO HIS FEET AS HE GRABS MALCOLM AND RUNS WITH HIM! AND RUN IT UP CONNECTS! SLICED BREAD #2 FINALLY GETS THE BEST OF THE BLICKY BOYZ AS JUSTIN HOOKS THE LEG!
Jake Mercer: BUT CHRIS ELITE RUNS IN AND BREAKS UP THE PIN! Kelton trying to enter into the ring to help his partner, BUT ELITE RUNNING AT HIM AND CONNECTING WITH A KNEE TO HIS FACE SHOVING HIM OFF THE APRON! Justin is stunned as Malcolm pushes off of him and leaps into the air, AND DROPS DOWN WITH A KNEE DROP TO HIS HEAD! Justin sitting up as Malcolm steps back, AND SENDS A KICK TO HIS BACK!
Stew-O: Justin keeping himself upright as he’s slowly pulling himself up to his feet, MALCOLM SENDS A OVERHAND TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD! Malcolm grabbing him and lifting him up into a suplex position once more, BUT JUSTIN CONTINUOUSLY DROPPING KNEES DOWN ONTO HIS HEAD FORCING HIM TO BRING HIM BACK DOWN TO THE GROUND! Justin pushing him into the ropes and sending him into an Irish whip, BUT MALCOLM GRABS THE ROPES BEFORE HE CAN! Justin running forward, BUT MALCOLM! GOING FOR THE C-NOTE!
Flannery McCoy: BUT JUSTIN TURNS IT AROUND AND CATCHES HIM INTO A DDT! Justin back up now as he runs forward, AND DROPS HIMSELF DOWN INTO A STANDING MOONSAULT AS WELL! JUSTIN HOOKING THE LEGS AND GOING FOR THE PIN!
Jake Mercer: BUT IT’S MALCOLM THAT KICKS OUT! Justin back up onto his feet as he’s throwing Malcolm in his corner and making his way over as Kelton is reaching out just begging for the tag as Justin seems to be fixing to finish this right now as both reach out!
Stew-O: AND IT’S A TAG! Kelton and Justin enter into the ring as they’re throwing Malcolm towards the ropes, END OF HEARTACHE! WAIT! CHRIS ELITE ENTERING INTO THE RING AS HE SHOVES MALCOLM AWAY! ELITE TAKES THE BULLET AS THE DOUBLE SUPERKICK CONNECTS ONTO HIM! KELTON AND JUSTIN ARE DUMBFOUNDED AS MALCOLM IS BACK UP ONTO HIS FEET!
Flannery McCoy: C-NOTE TO KELTON! SPEAR CONNECTS AS IT TAKES HIM DOWN TO THE GROUND! Justin quickly moving forward, BUT MALCOLM GRABS JUSTIN AND THROWS HIM THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPE AND OUT OF THE RING AS MALCOLM RUNS TO THE ROPES AND BACK! AS HE JUMPS THROUGH AND CONNECTS WITH A SUICIDE DIVE TAKING JUSTIN OUT OF THE EQUATION!
Jake Mercer: Malcolm sliding into the ring now as he’s back up, BUT KELTON RUNNING FORWARD AND CONNECTING WITH A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! Malcolm left dazed as Kelton is taking advantage and bringing him towards the center of the ring, HE’S GOING FOR EGO TRIP! DOUBLE UNDERHOOK DDT!
Stew-O: BUT MALCOLM REVERSES OUT OF IT AS HE TURNS KELTON AROUND! SHAPOWWWWW!!!! THE SUPERMAN PUNCH TO THE HEAD OF KELTON TAKES HIM DOWN! Malcolm bringing up Kelton and sending him into an Irish whip to the corner as Chris Elite is trying to recuperate on the apron pulling himself up as quickly as he can as Malcolm is approaching him!
Flannery McCoy: AND ELITE IS TAGGED IN! Elite entering into the ring as Kelton tries to stumble out of the corner, BUT ELITE! BOX OFFICE SMASH! SUPERKICK CRACKS THE JAW OF KELTON AS HE STUMBLES BACKWARD BUT MALCOLM IS RUNNING FORWARD! C-NOTE! SPEAR TAKES KELTON DOWN TO THE GROUND AS THE BLICKY BOYZ CONNECT WITH BOZOS GET SHOT EVERYDAY B! ELITE HOOKS THE LEG AND GOES FOR THE PIN ON KELTON! COULD THIS BE IT?!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(‘Blixky Gang Freestyle’ plays up as Chris Elite gets up to his feet with a smirk on his face as he does so. Malcolm Jones gets up to his feet as well as he leans against the ropes before meeting Elite in the middle of the ring, both of them talk to one another for a moment before the Ref comes through and raises their hands in victory as they continue their celebration)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen here are your winners advancing to Round 2… THE BLICKY BOYZ!!!!!!!!!!!
Jake Mercer: AND WE HAVE OUR WINNERS! 5 STAR ON THE MERCER SCALE BAY BEE!
Stew-O: :wow: The Blicky Boyz advance to Round 2! Both of these teams put one another through absolute hell because it was evident that both of them wanted to get past them and win The Grand Prix in general. But in the end it was The Blicky Boyz who managed to use their smarts in order to get the win as they advance on to Round 2!
Flannery McCoy: I wouldn’t doubt them for a moment but with them they have some huge competition coming their way, if it be the next round where they’ll be facing either The House of Leaders or The Mile High Club both teams are very competitive in every sense of the word but if we’ve seen what Malcolm Jones and Chris Elite can do there is no doubt in my mind that they can get through them! Congratulations!
(Malcolm and Chris are seen at the top of the ramp as both of them pose as Comeback SZN is seen on the outside of the ring. Both of them are angered as Kelton is still trying to recover and get back up as Windgate is still on the outside as both of the Blicky Boyz laugh at them as Dynasty fades out to elsewhere)
(A commercial for Energizer Batteries is shown starring the Energizer Bunny and Ahren Fournier)
(Dynasty returns from commercial break and focuses on the ring.)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen… please welcome… LETHAL CONSEQUENCES!!!
(‘Tougher Colder Killer’ by El-P begins to play and the virtual crowd greets the two-time Hall of Famer with a chorus of boos. LC throws up his middle finger as he makes his way down the ring. He doesn’t really waste any time or beat around the bush. He snatches the microphone from Stephie and shoos her out of the ring. LC clears his throat and turns in the direction of the video tron, which has flickered to life. Across the middle of the screen, the words “The Mightest One: A Lethal Consequences Production” are flashing in red lettering.)
Lethal Consequences: :dave:
(He pauses for a second, and then begins to speak.)
Lethal Consequences: Last week, Jake Smith made his oh so triumphant return to Friday Night Dynasty in a winning effort against some bitch who currently holds one-half of the Unified Tag Team Championships. Who, or what is The Realm? Legit question, I have no idea, and I don’t care. But thanks to a LEGO table, of all things, Smith was able to pick up a victory in what I’m sure was a hard fought contest for him. ‘Stellar’ victory aside, I want to know more about this whole Jake Smith, I don’t want to be an afterthought, movement. I mean this is the guy, the jamoke that labels himself ‘The Mightiest One’ correct? High and mighty? How high is high? A mile-high? See what I did there? Right. Jake Smith, huh? The man responsible for Showdown’s ratings. The man claiming to be responsible for them tanking. To each his own. When you claim to be the ratings grabber, I get curious. Why is ‘The Mightiest One’ must see TV? There’s a video. A WHOLE video of why this guy is the reason for Showdown’s ratings!
(Lethal Consequences scratches his chin.)
Lethal Consequences: Prepare yourselves! This is MIGHTY interesting!
(LC turns his attention towards the video tron and the lights inside of World 1 Theatre begin to dim. All of a sudden the footage begins to play.)
(It’s a tribute video to Jake Smith, alright, but it definitely doesn’t highlight his successes. In fact, it does quite the opposite. It’s showcasing every single one of Jake’s missteps in EAW. The failure of The Revolution as a tag team is shown, most notably the times they came up short when competing for the Unified Tag Team Championships. They would be defeated by the Jaded Hearts at Under Siege 2019 and then by The Wildcards at Grand Rampage 2019. The downfall of The Roundtable was shown, mostly when Drake King bullied Jake into destroying and branding Joshua Nicholls. The trip down memory lane continued with Jake being seen playing second fiddle to Drake during his initial Dynasty run. Last season, Jake would come up short against Jack Ripley for the National Elite Championship at Operation: Doomsday. Coincidentally, LC himself would go on to win that belt the following month at Territorial Invasion, the same show where Jake had another disappointing night. Jake would take part in the infamous Divide and Conquer match, where a glorified 30-something year old mother of three would win the New Breed Championship by pinning Jake. This is the same match that most people had assumed he would win and finally get that breakout moment. Jake would eventually go on to become the PURE Champion, not once but twice, and both of those losses are given their own musical tribute. The disappointment on Jake’s face as his favorite Elitist, Harlow Reichert, walked out of the Road to Redemption 2019 with the PURE Championship was paused for several precious seconds, and so was the look of heartbreak on Jake’s face when Xander Payne dethroned him at Pain for Pride. :dave:)
(The video ends and the camera focus shifts back to LC.)
Lethal Consequences: Now that’s a ratings grabber, alright! Jake Smith is must see TV if you like seeing the same guy fail over and over again. The idea of this guy being a star on any show is unrealistic, that much is certain. The dude is lost. Confused, even, and a perennial back of the pack type of guy. What did I call him last week? A little league bitch :dave:
(“War” by Grandson begins to play, and Jake walks out. It’s obvious he is irritated by LC putting all his failures on display, but if there is one thing Jake has become known for during his time in EAW, it’s his ability to pick himself up and keep pushing forward. He grabs a spare microphone from the timekeeper before sliding into the ring and narrowing his eyes at Lethal Consequences.)
Lethal Consequences: :dave:
Jake Smith: Man. Fuck :dave:
(The virtual crowd dramatically gasps.)
Jake Smith: Congratulations on reminding the world why I’m one of the most resilient Elitists on the roster. No matter what major setback I end up facing, I always find a way to come out better for it. I appreciate the hype though, LC. It’s great. This time around on Dynasty is going to be much different for me, and when I do what you failed to do at Territorial Invasion, and that’s dethrone Jamie O’Hara and bring the Answers World Championship back to Friday nights, we’re going to see who gets the last laugh.
Lethal Consequences: You? Dethrone Jamie?
(LC throws his head back and laughs. Jake does not find this funny whatsoever.)
Lethal Consequences: SPOT FILLER. Irrelevant. You don’t even have a match at House of Glass, Mightiest One. I guess I could give you that, though.
Jake Smith: You want to face me at House of Glass? You must have a deathwish.
Lethal Consequences: Deathwish? Or do I just want the easy ‘dub? You decide, Mightiest One.
Jake Smith: Stop calling me that, damn.
Lethal Consequences: How mighty are ya, little man?
(LC mocks Jake by throwing up his fists and punching the air a few times.)
Jake Smith: :skip:
Lethal Consequences: You’re never going to stand TALL against me.
Jake Smith: 😐
Lethal Consequences: You just don’t want to get your ass kicked again like you did back at Midsummer Massacre. Chickenshit.
Jake Smith: Nah. You want a match at House of Glass? You got it. Enjoy your defeat at the hands of the future Answers World Champion.
(Jake grins and “War” begins to play once again. Jake exits the ring without a glance behind him, as LC watches with a smirk on this face.)
(Dynasty fades into a promotional ad for House of Glass.)
(A commercial for EAW Wednesday Night Dynomite starring TNT!)
(Dynasty comes back to show the World 1 Theatre as ‘House of Balloons/Glass Table Girls’ by the Weeknd hits, as Drake King and Darcy May Morgan step out onto the stage. The two look as focused as ever as they make their way down to the ramp and towards the ring)
Stephie Love: The following contest is a tag team match set for ONE FALL!!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!
Stephie Love: And it is an opening round match in the Tag Team Grand Prix!! Introducing first, they are the team of Drake King and Darcy May Morgan!! HOUSE OF LEADERS!!!
Stew-O: This team has to be one of the favorites in the Grand Prix this year. Two of the top picks in this years draft, a former world champion, and reigning CITV holder. These two will be tough to face.
Flannery McCoy: That’s for sure Stew! But I wouldn’t count their opponents out one bit!
(‘Ps & Qs’ by Lil Uzi Vert hits, as Bronson Daniels and Jake Smith make their way out onto the. stage. The two looked hyped up and ready to go as they stare down at their opponents in the ring. They then march their way down the ramp.)
Stephie Love: And their opponents.. They are the team of Jake Smith and Bronson Daniels, THE. MILE-HIGH CLUB!!
Stephie Love: Now these two aren’t stranger to success either. A former two time PURE Champion in Jake Smith and a former New Breed Champion in Bronson Daniels. These two have teamed up for a while now and have an advantage there. We’ll see how this turns out!
Jake Mercer: Jake has the nicest hair, so they win.
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: Here we go! This match starts off with Bronson Daniels and Darcy May Morgan as both Elitists lock up in the center of the ring! Bronson has the strength advantage as he’s able to back Darcy into a neutral corner! Darcy quickly connects with a knee strike to the abdomen though, as Bronson loses his grip on her!! The Leading Lady now tosses Bronson into the corner as he leans up against the corner turnbuckles!! KNEE TO THE ABDOMEN AGAIN BY DARCY MAY MORGAN!!
Flannery McCoy: Darcy now backs away from the corner as she makes her way to the other end. She then goes on a full sprint, hits a back handspring, and finishes with a back elbow into the face of Bronson!!! NO!! Bronson gets out of the way at the last possible second as Darcy crashes back first against the turnbuckles!! Bronson continues running to the far ropes as he bounces back towards Darcy who bounces off of those turnbuckles from the impact… AND BRONSON DANIELS RUNS RIGHT INTO A SITOUT SPINEBUSTER BY DARCY MAY MORGAN!! Incredible move by the Leading Lady as she gets up to her feet, makes her way over to her team’s corner, and tags in Drake King!
Jake Mercer: Drake King is in this match now as he runs over to Bronson Daniels!! Elbow drop to the stomach!! Drake gets back up to his feet.. Standing Moonsault!!
Stew-O: NO!! Bronson Daniels gets his knees up as Drake’s chest drives right into them!! Drake rolls off of Bronson and clutches at his stomach in pain as Bronson slowly works his way up to his feet. Drake is right behind him as he gets up to his feet as well.. ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO HEAD BY BRONSON DANIELS!! That kick stuns Drake as he stands groggily!! Bronson runs to the far ropes and bounces back.. RUNNING HIGH KNEEE TO THE FACE!!! IT CONNECTS AND SENDS DRAKE KING DOWN TO THE CANVAS!! Bronson quickly makes his way over to Jake Smith where he makes the tag!!
Jake Mercer: My long haired twin!!
Flannery McCoy: Jake rushes into the ring as he quickly gets on the attack with stomps down onto Drake!! These two have quite the history together as former teammates and opponents. Jake continues to stomp down on Drake, then reaches down to grab him. Jake brings King to his feet.. SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE BY JAKE SMITH! THAT. ONE SENDS DRAKE BACK DOWN TO THE CANVAS OF THE RING!!
Stew-O: And it isn’t stopping for him with just that as he stomps down onto Drake’s head!! Not once! Not twice!! BUT THREE TIMES!! CRUSHCRUSHCRUSH!! Drake instalty clutches at his face as The Industry Ruler walks towards the center of the ring with his arms stretched out wide! The crowd boos heavily at his arrogance!!
Jake Mercer: This is the JAKE SMITH SHOW BAY-BAY!! And he’s feeling it right now after delivering quite the punishment to his former tag team partner.
Flannery McCoy: Jake now turns around as he faces Drake who is working up onto his hands and knees. Drake raises his head.. COLD NIGHT HOME!!! SHINING WIZARD BY JAKE SMITH!!! NO!! Drake King ducks his head as Jake misses and lands on his stomach in the ring! Drake quickly crawls over.. AND HE LOCKS IN A CROSSFACE!!! CROSSFACE IS LOCKED IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!
Stew-O: Jake is trying all he can to break out of this submission hold, but Drake isn’t allowing it!! You can see the pain on Jake’s face as Drake continues to wrench at it!! Jake tries to pry Drake’s hands apart, but it’s no use!!! Jake reaches out… THEN ROTATES BOTH HIS AND DRAKE’S BODIES AS HE NOW HAS DRAKE’S SHOULDERS PINNED TO THE MAT!!!
Jake Mercer: Kickout by Drake King! Jake Smith instantly releases the pinning combination as Drake releases his hold on Jake Smith. Both men quickly squirm up to their feet….
Stew-O: SUPERKICK BY DRAKE KING!!!
Flannery McCoy: SUPERKICK BY JAKE SMITH!!!
Stew-O: THEY JUST TOOK EACH OTHER OUT WITH MATCHING SUPERKICKS TO THE FACE!!! Both Jake and Drake are down on the canvas as they stare right at the ceiling! Darcy May Morgan has her arm extended out as she’s trying to get herself back into this match!! Meanwhile, at the other end of the ring, we can see Bronson Daniels doing the exact same thing as he wants to be a part of the action again.
Flannery McCoy: But both Jake and Drake are down! They are both shaking their heads as they both got hit with some stunning superkicks by one another. Drake looks to be the first one to make any progression as he gets himself up to a seated position. He turns his head towards Darcy May Morgan and slowly makes his way towards her!! At the other end, Jake Smith is crawling towards Bronson Daniels!! He’s slowly reaching his arm out..
Jake Mercer: DRAKE KING TAGS IN DARCY!!!!
Stew-O: AND AT THE OTHER END, JAKE SMITH LEAPS AND TAGS IN BRONSON DANIELS!!!
Flannery McCoy: Both Darcy May Morgan and Bronson Daniels charge at one another, but it’s Darcy who takes Bronson down first with a Lariat!! Bronson hits the canvas hard, but quickly pops back up to his feet. HANDSTAND HURRICARANA BY DARCY MAY MORGAN!! IT CONNECTS AND BRONSON DANIELS HITS THE MAT HARD!! He quickly rolls under the bottom rope and onto the ring apron! Daniels now grabs the ropes as he pulls himself up into a standing position on the ring apron…
Stew-O: BUT LOOK!!! IT’S DARCY MAY MORGAN CHARGING AT BRONSON WITH A SUICIDE SPEAR!!!!
Jake Mercer: NO!!! JAKE SMITH SHOVES BRONSON OFF TO THE SIDE AS BRONSON FALLS ON THE RING APRON!!! AND DARCY MISSES THE SPEAR ENTIRELY AND CRASHES DOWN THROUGH THE ROPES AND ONTO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!! WHAT A SAVE BY JAKE SMITH!!!
Stew-O: Darcy May Morgan landed pretty hard as she is slow to get up at ringside. Meanwhile, Bronson has managed to get up to his feet as he realizes what Jake just did moments ago. Bronson looks down at Darcy as she finally gets up to her feet.. AND BRONSON LEAPS OFF OF THE APRON AND DRILLS DARCY IN THE CHEST WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK!!!
Referee: One.. Two.. Three.. Four..
Flannery McCoy: Bronson now gets back up to his feet as Darcy is down on the ringside floor. He reaches down and.. AND HE DEADLIFTS DARCY UP INTO A POWERBOMB POSITION!!! Bronson has Darcy on his shoulders… AND POWERBOMBS HER RIGHT INTO THE EDGE OF THE RING!!! The Leading Lady snaps her back hard against the ring as she bounces back.. BICYCLE KNEE TO THE FACE BY BRONSON DANIELS SENDS DARCY BACK DOWN TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!
Referee: Five.. Six.. Seven..
Stew-O: That assistance by Jake Smith earlier really gave the Mile High Club a major opening and they haven’t wasted it one bit as they’ve got the current CITV winner down at ringside! Bronson delivers two stomps down onto the body of Darcy before reaching down grabbing her, and rolling her back into the ring. Bronson then follows into the ring and goes for the pin.
Jake Mercer: NO! There’s the kickout by Darcy May Morgan!! Bronson gets back up to his feet where he tags in Jake Smith!
Flannery McCoy: Jake Smith is back in this match, as he makes his way over to Darcy May Morgan and stomps down onto her stomach! He then kicks her in the side of the ribs as she is forced to turn onto her stomach!! Her back is exposed and Jake wastes no time in stomping down onto it! He then drops his knee down onto the center of her lower spine as Darcy screams in pain and clutches at her back!! Darcy rolls back over onto her back, but is stomped right in the abdomen by Jake once more!! Jake is simply pelting Darcy with stomps and knees right now as he dissects the core of his opponent!! Jake now reaches down and grabs her by the legs.. He crosses them and rotates her body…. SHARPSHOOTER!!! SHARPSHOOTER IS LOCKED IN!!!
Stew-O: Darcy is in an immense amount of pain right now as she begins flailing her arms around!! She’s trying to reach for the bottom ropes, but she is nowhere near them!! Jake continues to sit back as he bends Darcy’s lower back!! He continues to apply tremendous pressure as Darcy may feel as if her back is about to literally snap!! This may be it!! This may be what seals the deal for the Mile High Club!!
Flannery McCoy: NO!! DARCY IS USING WHATEVER CORE STRENGTH SHE HAS TO ARMY CRAWL HER WAY TOWARDS THE ROPES WITH JAKE ON HER BACK!! SUPER DARCY IS IN FULL EFFECT!! HER WILL TO SUCCEED IS FORCING HER WAY TO THE ROPES.. And… SHE GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE!!! IT’S A ROPE BREAK!!!
Jake Mercer: But Jake isn’t releasing his hold on the Dropkick Darling!!!
Referee: One.. Two.. Three.. Four.. Fiv-
Stew-O: And he finally releases before the referee is forced to disqualify him and his team from the match. Jake Smith stands up and brushes his hair back as he walks over to Bronson Daniels and tags him in!!
Flannery McCoy: Bronson is back in this one as he grabs Darcy by legs and drags her to the center of the ring. He turns her around as she is now on her back. Bronson stomps down onto her stomach, then pops both of his shoulders.. 4:20 DROP!!! DOUBLE LEG DROP DOWN ONTO THE ABDOMEN OF DARCY MAY MORGAN!! IT CONNECTS AND BRONSON GOES FOR THE PIN!!!
Jake Mercer: KICKOUT BY THE DROPKICK DARLING!! Bronson Daniels can’t believe it!
Stew-O: Bronson gets back up to his feet as he wants to put this one away. He looks at Darcy May Morgan as he prepares for his next big move! Darcy slowly rises up to her feet.. GUNSMOKE!!! SPINNING ROUNDHOUSE KICK!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: NO!!! Darcy May Morgan gets out of the way as Bronson misses entirely!! Bronson loses his footing as he stumbles on his landing, but that gives Darcy enough time to tag in Drake King!!!
Stew-O: Drake King is back in this match, but Darcy remains in the ring! Bronson is just getting his balance, but Darcy quickly grabs him and lifts him up into an inverted fireman’s carry.. CURTAIN CALL!!! INVERTED GTS CONNECTS AS BRONSON’S HEAD GETS DRILLED BY THE KNEE OF DARCY MAY MORGAN!!! Bronson is knocked out cold in the center of the ring… JUDGEMENT DAY!!!! CURB STOMP BY DRAKE KING!!! Bronson is done!! Drake goes for the pin!!!
Flannery McCoy: But Jake Smith is entering the ring!! He’s going to break the pin!!
Stew-O: TTYN!!!! KNOCKOUT PUNCH BY DARCY MAY MORGAN ONTO JAKE SMITH!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(‘House of Balloons/Glass Table Girls’ by The Weeknd hits, as Drake King rises up to his feet with Darcy May Morgan. The referee grabs both of their arms and raises them up in the air)
Stephie Love: Here are your winners and advancing to the second round of the EAW Tag Team Grand Prix, Drake King and Darcy May Morgan.. HOUSE OF LEADERS!!!!
Stew-O: Incredible performance by both teams, but tonight it was the House of Leaders that proved to be the better team as they advance to the second round.
Flannery McCoy: This team of Darcy May Morgan and Drake King look as strong as any team in this tournament and they are a major threat for any team that has a shot at winning. These two took out a strong team in the Mile High Club tonight, and I’m sure their momentum will only continue to grow from here on out.
Stew-O: If they continue to compete the way they just did tonight, then I can easily see that happening. This is definitely not a team that you want to run into in the bracket.
(The screen shows Drake King and Darcy May Morgan celebrating their victory before the screen fades to black)
(A commercial for the new book “How to Attract Women” starring SEBAS, it’s clear we all need this book)
(Dynasty comes back from commercial break as ‘Collard Greens’ by Schoolboy Q featuring Kendrick Lamar hits as the crowd erupts into cheers. Serena Bennett and The Visual Prophet then step out with their world titles wrapped around their waists. The two Champs look at one another before continuing their way down to the ring.)
Stephie Love: The following contest is a first round match in the 2020 Tag Team Grand Prix, and it is set for ONE FALL!!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!
Stephie Love: Introducing first, they are the team of EAW World Heavyweight Champion, The Visual Prophet and EAW Women’s Universal Champion, Serena Bennett!! SHEA BUTTER BABIES!!!
Jake Mercer: I’m more of a cocoa butter guy.
Stew-O: Nobody asked Jake. But you know what they are asking?
Jake Mercer: What’s that?
Stew-O: They’re asking what team could possibly stop this dynamic duo of champions. The Shea Butter Babies are coming into this tournament as one of the favorites seeing how strong both members are in the ring.
Flannery McCoy: I can’t wait to see how these two perform tonight.
(‘For the Glory’ by All the Good Things hits as Ryan Wilson and Christian Demarco step out onto the stage. The two have fire in their eyes as they know that this is a big match ahead of them. They then walk down the ring)
Stephie Love: And their opponents!! They are the team of Showdown General Manager, Ryan Wilson and The Omega Male, Christian Demarco!!! TEAM WILSON!!!!
Stew-O: And here is Team Wilson. This team was formed way earlier when Christian Demarco first joined Team Wilson back before Territorial Invasion. This alliance has grown and now they are ready to take on the Grand Prix.
Flannery McCoy: The task ahead of them will be tough, but knowing Ryan, you can never be too confident facing him with all of the things he likes to pull.
Jake Mercer: His power is neutralized on Dynasty. This is where the big boys play. Hence Big Vizzy!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: Here we go! This first round matchup in the 2020 Tag Team Grand Prix between the Shea Butter Babies and Team Wilson is underway! The Visual Prophet and Christian Demarco start this match off as both men make their way to the center of the ring. Viz with a smirk on his face as he stares directly at Christian Demarco!
Jake Mercer: BUT DEMARCO STRIKES FIRST!! Forearm to the face by Demarco! Viz takes a few steps back, but Demarco keeps the pressure on as he fires away with two more forearm shots to the top of the head that send the champion back against the ring ropes!
Flannery McCoy: Viz is clutching at his head as he steps away from the ring ropes and towards Christian. Demarco is ready to get back on the attack until Viz releases his head and smirks once more at Christian! AND VIZ TAKES DEMARCO DOWN TO THE CANVAS WITH A POWERFUL CLOTHESLINE!!
Stew-O: Christian quickly works his way back up to his feet, but Viz is right there to lift him up and runs full speed towards a neutral corner… AND THE VISUAL PROPHET DRIVES CHRISTIAN DEMARCO BACK FIRST INTO THE TURNBUCKLES!! The World Heavyweight Champ backs away as Christian slowly steps out of the corner.. But it’s Viz with a clothesline that pins Demarco back against the turnbuckles!! Viz now grabs Christian by the wrist and whips him over to the other end of the ring as Demarco crashes back first against the corner at the other side! Demarco bounces back off of those turnbuckles due to the impact.. AND HE WALKS RIGHT INTO A SPINEBUSTER BY THE VISUAL PROPHET!! Viz pops up to his feet and makes his way over to Serena Bennett as he makes the tag!
Flannery McCoy: From one Champion to the other! Serena Bennett is now in this match. She walks over to Christian Demarco who is slowly working his way up onto his hands and knees! He’s now in an upright position on his knees, but Serena quickly strikes him in the center of the chest with a shoot kick!! Christian screaming in pain from that shot, but Serena doesn’t stop as she loads up and blasts him right in the chest once more!! Demarco slowly works his way up to his feet while protecting his chest with his arms, but that exposes his face and Serena Bennett takes advantage of that as she connects with a back elbow to the face, then wraps her arm around his head, and sends him right back down with a bulldog takedown!! That move just drove Demarco’s face into the ring!!
Jake Mercer: Demarco clutches at his face in pain, as Serena Bennett pops up to her feet and plays to the crowd as they cheer her on! She’s almost as popular as me! :wow:
Flannery McCoy: Christian makes his way back up to his feet as Serena is still playing to the crowd! And Demarco with a forearm to the back of the head of The Universal Women’s Champion! Bennett drops down to one knee, but quickly gets back up to her two feet where she turns around and faces Christian! AND HE CONNECTS WITH A RUNNING HIGH KNEE TO THE FACE AS SERENA BENNETT DROP DOWN TO THE CANVAS!!
Stew-O: Demarco remains on the attack as he runs over to Serena Bennett and stomps down onto her shoulder!! Once more!! And now Demarco with an elbow drop down onto the chest of the champ!! It connects, and he pops up to his feet to do it once more!!!
Jake Mercer: NO!! Serena Bennett rolls out of the way as Demarco bashes his elbow right down onto the ring!! Christian clutches at his elbow as it is definitely bothering him. He slowly works his way up to his feet where he then begins to roll out his elbow to get blood flowing. Meanwhile, Serena Bennett has also just made it up to her feet.. AND CHRISTIAN CHARGES AT SERENA BENNETT WITH A LEAPING CLOTHESLINE!!
Flannery McCoy: NO!! Serena Bennett catches Christian in the stomach with a kick! Demarco wraps his arms around his abdomen, but that doesn’t stop Serena from continuing to attack as she delivers some quick high step kicks onto the body of The Omega Male!! Christian drops down to his knees as Serena turns around and runs towards the far ropes! She bounces back.. MOONLIGHT RUNNING KNECKBREAKER BY SERENA!!!
Stew-O: NO!! DEMARCO DODGES IT AS SERENA LANDS FLAT ON HER BACK!! Christian is right next to Ryan, as he leaps over to tag the general manager of Showdown in!!
Jake Mercer: And here’s Ryan Wilson! He enters the ring and charges in at Serena Bennett who is just now getting up.. BUT BENNETT CHARGES AT HIM AS WELL AND CONNECTS WITH MOONLIGHT!!! RUNNING NECKBREAKER BY SERENA BENNETT!! Ryan Wilson slowly works his way up onto his hands and knees, as Serena continues to run to the ropes.. She bounces back.. AND TAKES RYAN WILSON DOWN WITH ANOTHER RUNNING NECKBREAKER!!! Wilson is down as the Universal Women’s champ gets right back up to her feet. She walks over to her corner and tags the Visual Prophet back into this match!!
Stew-O: Big Viz is back as he makes his way over to Ryan! He grabs the Showdown General Manager and brings him up to his feet before kicking him in the stomach!! Viz pulls him in and lifts him into the air!!! SITOUT POWERBOMB BY THE VISUAL PROPHET!!! That move just planted Ryan’s entire body into the center of the ring!!
Jake Mercer: The Visual Prophet pops back up to his feet as he reaches down and grabs Ryan Wilson. He lifts Ryan up from the ring and lifts him up onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry position!! AIR BAE!!! Viz is spinning with Ryan Wilson on his shoulders!! 8! 9! 10! Rotations!!! You know, The Visual Prophet trains this move specifically by putting 500lbs on the barbell and placing it on his back, then he spins at full speed!!
Flannery McCoy: Isn’t that dangerous to not just him, but the people around him?
Jake Mercer: How is that dangerous?
Stew-O: I’ll tell you whats dangerous. Being set back down after going through the Air BAE just like Ryan Wilson is right now. Ryan is dizzy and extremely groggy! He can barely stand as he has no sense of balance whatsoever!! The Visual Prophet takes a few steps back from the Showdown GM, but then rushes in and sends him straight to the canvas with a running shoulder block!!
Jake Mercer: Ryan Wilson slowly gets back up to his feet, but The Visual Prophet is right there to take him down with another running shoulder block!!
Flannery McCoy: This match has been all Shea Butter Babies. Team Wilson has had some spurts here and there, but overall it’s been dominated by the pair of World Champs!!
Stew-O: Viz is bent over with his hands on his knees as he stares directly at Ryan Wilson who is slowly getting back up! Wilson back to his feet.. IKE TURNER SPECIAL!!! SPINNING BACKFIST!!! NO!!! RYAN WILSON DUCKS UNDER THE ARM AND CONTINUES RUNNING TOWARDS THE ROPES!! HE BOUNCES BACK.. RUNNING FOREARM TO THE FACE OF THE VISUAL PROPHET!! VIZ IS STUNNED BY THAT ONE AS HE GROGGILY STEPS BACK!!
Flannery McCoy: And Ryan with some MMA style strikes as he lands a right hook then follows it with a left uppercut!! Wilson then continues the combination with a right jab, then finishes with a spinning heel kick to the stomach of The Visual Prophet!! That kick forces the World Heavyweight champion to bend over in pain!! AND WILSON WITH AN UPPERCUT THAT CATCHES VIZ RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE FACE AND POPS HIM UP IN AN UPRIGHT STANDING POSITION!
Stew-O: Ryan Wilson quickly turns around and runs to the far ropes!! He bounces back towards Big Viz and goes for a running clot-
Jake Mercer: THE VISUAL PROPHET CATCHES RYAN WILSON AND SLAMS HIM DOWN TO THE CANVAS OF THE RING WITH A BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!! THE STRENGTH OF THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!!!
Stew-O: And these fans are absolutely loving it they get as loud as socially distanced crowd can get!! Viz pops up to his feet and beats on his chest then flexes both arms in the air showing that he’s too strong for the Showdown talent!! Viz now steps over and tag Serena Bennett back into this match!
Flannery McCoy: Here we go! The Universal Women’s Champion is back in this match as she makes her way over to Ryan Wilson who slowly gets up to his feet… REEL IT IN!! TILT A WIRL HEADSCISSORS TAKEDOWN!!! Ryan slams back first onto the canvas as he arches his back in pain!! He slowly struggles his way back up to his feet.. TIP TOE!!! PELE KICK BY SERENA BENNETT AND SHE GOES FOR THE PIN!!!
Jake Mercer: NO CHRISTIAN DEMARCO BREAKS THE PIN WITH A STOMP DOWN ONTO THE BACK OF SERENA BENNET!! Demarco backs away from both Bennett and Wilson then turns his head as he sees The Visual Prophet charging at him!! RUNNING SHOULDER BLOCK BY BIG VIZ AS HE SENDS CHRISTIAN DOWN TO THE CANVAS INSTANTLY!! Demarco then rolls under the ring ropes and down to the ringside floor!!
Stew-O: Viz turns his head as he looks over at Serena Bennett who is working her way up to her feet. She looks back at him as both Champions nod at one another. The Visual Prophet now reaches down as he grabs Ryan Wilson from off of the canvas. He lifts Ryan up to his feet, then lifts and presses the general manager of Showdown straight into the air!! Viz is putting his tremendous strength on full display with Ryan military pressed over his head!! Serena Bennet stands beside Viz… TIP TOE!!! PELE KICK TO THE HEAD OF THE ELEVATED RYAN WILSON AS VIZ RELEASES HIM AFTER THE KICK AND HE SLAMS BACK DOWN TO THE CANVAS!!! That’s what they call Blue Dream!!
Flannery McCoy: Viz now exits the ring as Serena Bennett goes over to the down Ryan Wilson and locks in the Trap Queen!! Anaconda Vice by Serena Bennett is locked in the center of the ring!! Christian Demarco is still down on the outside of the ring.. And.. RYAN WILSON SLOWLY TAPS OUT!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(‘Collard Greens’ by Schoolboy Q featuring Kendrick Lamar hits as Serena Bennett rises up to her feet. The Visual Prophet enters into the ring and the crowd cheers loudly for both champions as the referee hands them their championships. Bennett and Viz raise their titles in the air as the referee stands between them both and raises their free hand.)
Stephie Love: Here are your winners and advancing to the second round of the 2020 Tag Team Grand Prix, the Team of The Visual Prophet and Serena Bennett.. SHEA BUTTER BABIES!!!
Stew-O: This was a statement match for everyone in the Tag Team Grand Prix. We have the Jaded Hearts, the Liquid Swordz, and many more top teams, but you can’t forget about the Shea Butter Babies. These two are the real deal and they demonstrated that tonight.
Flannery McCoy: That is very true Stew. They controlled this match entirely and even when Team Wilson was able to stir up some offense, Viz and Serena managed to get the match right back in their favor. These two are definitely going to be a tough out if they are even an out at all.
Stew-O: We’ll see how these two do as the tournament progresses, but so far everything looks bright for them!
(We see The Visual Prophet and Serena Bennett walking back up to the stage with their championships on their shoulders as they celebrate the early round victory. The camera then shows Christian Demarco down on his knees beside Ryan Wilson who is still down on the canvas. From here, the camera cuts to the backstage area as we see Andre Walker watching a monitor that has Dynasty playing live. The New Breed Champion looks back at his belt that rests on his shoulder then back to the screen where we see Christian DeMarco. The screen then fades to black)
(The final commercial break of the night is shown for a collab featuring Andre Walker and Mario Judah is shown, both sharing a correlation for probably being white)
(We see a shot of the ring following the main event match between Shea Butter Babies and Team Wilson as the only one left in the ring is The Visual Prophet. Viz takes down his singlet and grabs his World Heavyweight Championship as he begins pacing around the ring. Viz looks around before motioning for Stephie Love to bring him a microphone.)
Jake Mercer: The Visual Prophet is STILL here in the Impact Zone?! And he’s got a mic?! What does he have to say following that HUGE Grand Prix first round match up!?!
Flannery McCoy: Why are you hollering?
Jake Mercer: :blessed: CAUSE ITS LITTY!
(Viz takes a deep breath as he surveys the crowd.)
Visual Prophet: That match was…was something wasn’t it? WHAT A RESULT! What an effort from Showdown’s very own Team Wilson? Shit crazy huh? Grand Prix tings. Whoopty whoop whoop. Ye. Anyway…I know you all didn’t think I was going to let the go home show before House of Glass go by without some stereotypical wrasslin’ fuckery? Y’all said I was so unprofessional for how I behaved last time I had a challenger coming for my belt and shit. Andrea Valentine and The Visual Prophet had a contract signing previously and I walked out. I stepped back. I refused to do what was expected. Y’all wanted a fucking brawl before the big show and I didn’t give it to you. You guys want that ol fashion Deep South territory days type shit huh?
(The socially distanced crowd begins to cheer loudly.)
Visual Prophet: Ye. I can’t hear y’all. Big dog big face type pop for Bae. Lemme hear a quick Viz chant for your WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP-YUNN!
Crowd: (off mic) VIZ! VIZ! VIZ!
Visual Prophet: Louder. This time say Bae. Go.
Crowd: (off mic) BAE! BAE! BAE!
Visual Prophet: Louder. This time say TBE. TBE on 3. 1…2…3…
Crowd: (off mic) T-B-E! T-B-E!! T-B-E!
Visual Prophet: Aye this shit fun. Let’s switch up…Everybody chant “Kass got herpes”. Now.
Crowd: (off mic) KASS HAS HERPES!!!!
*CLAP CLAP CLAP*
Crowd: (off mic) KASS HAS HERPES!!!!
*CALP CLAP CLAP*
Visual Prophet: Yea, fuck that nigga wife on god nem. :montez: Dirty bitch.
Stew-O: He has the crowd in the palm of his hands.
Flannery McCoy: I think the Kass shot is a bit bad taste but he sure does have this group roaring as if it was a full house.
Jake Mercer: I always knew those Dirt Sheet rumors about Ahren, Kass, and that Mexican soccer team in Tijuana was true! :wow:
Visual Prophet: That’s better. Big pop. Big big big pop. Since my challenger at House of Glass just had two illegitimately conceived children with his wife, since she also was my opponent last year at House of Glass where I likely became the cause for her to need a surrogate mother to even create those Oblong headed twins, and because I’m in such a giving mood…I offer Ryan Adams a charitable donation right here right now. Mr. DEDEDE, I want to have a baby shower for you and your family by giving you an early taste of the horrific beating I have in store for you at House of Glass. So, come on down to the face of Dynasty’s ring and open your gift!
(Viz begins balling his fists as he waits.)
Stew-O: Viz is calling out DEDEDE right here and right now? Viz seems ready for a fight tonight! House of Glass might be early this year as-
???: You are a bundle of joy aren’t you, Viz?
(The camera turns to reveal Mr. DEDEDE positioned on the tron with him sitting in a weird location. Mr. DEDEDE is seen seated with his back against cage walls as he removes his GAWDZILLA PRO covid mask and lets his hair flow like a majestic lion. Viz is looking at the area and has a strange familiar look on his face but watches as Mr. DEDEDE continues.)
Mr. DEDEDE: You are so animated and enigmatic. So entertaining, so earnestly vibrant. One of the greatest acquisitions this company has ever brought in. Many have been given the ball but few have been as profitable as you. You seem enamored with this idea of being the best ever and you aren’t alone, Viz. you are not alone. Many before you wanted this title, many before you wanted this distinction attached to their name. Few ever reach it. Few ever have the blueprint to get there. You know what is funny? You are one of the best. It’s hard to not see the argument. But best ever? Buddy…you have yet to beat Impact one on one yet you claim that? You have never beaten me and that’s what you speak towards?
Visual Prophet: I’m going to beat your ass at House of Glass and I’ll gladly beat that ass right now if you weren’t…hiding…hey where the fuck are you at right now?
Mr. DEDEDE: Oh, my manners. I’m sorry, I didn’t take my shoes off when I entered your home. But yeah, this is Engadine, Michigan right? Right camera man?
(The lens goes up and down as a reassuring nod.)
Visual Prophet: Wait…
Mr. DEDEDE: Yea, I’ve noticed you bragging about this wonderful and magical estate you purchased earlier this year. This compound of sorts in bumblefuck Michigan surrounded by tiki torch whites and MAGA hat sporting crassness. I didn’t get it but I kind of get it now that I’m out here. It’s so quiet at night. Besides probably the treasure trove of hoes you have coming and going…the only sounds to be heard way out here belong to yours and Kimmy’s. The wildly beloved Siberian Tiger gifted to you by Kim Jong-Un at Fighting Spirit in 2019. I mean…at least, that’s what I wanted you to believe.
Visual Prophet: …Jigga what?
(The camera zooms out as we see Mr. DEDEDE in Viz’s basement. In the basement, we see Mr. DEDEDE in the tiger enclosure created specifically for Viz’s pet tiger Kimmy as Viz is now speechless.)
Mr. DEDEDE: Yea, guess this time is as good as any to reveal something special to you, Viz. Yeah, wasn’t no dictator giving you this beautiful tiger…
(Kimmy looks lethargic as her head rests on the lap of Mr. DEDEDE.)
Mr. DEDEDE: It was me.
Stew-O: WHDURNEIRK WHAT?! WHAT!
Visual Prophet: …You lie…
MR. DEDEDE: No lies. None. Man, just look at this beast. Last time a pussy this beautiful got to me emotionally…I married her. But this is one amazing creature. I can’t lie, I fully expected one day she would grow big and strong and rip your fucking face off. I did it just because I could Viz. Part of me wanted to see this tiger harm you one day but the other half was surprised at how it became a part of your motif. It became a symbol. It became a part of your identity. So in the end, I was glad I did it. I guess I did it because you are one of my special little guys here in EAW. You aren’t like the rest. You are special. You have potential and I thought one day I could be the one to shape it. But, you come to Showdown and get too big for your britches. Last year I put you in your place and humbled you rightfully so at Territorial Invasion. This year, shit…look at you. All swole. Big bad Viz. World Heavyweight Championship holding Viz. The face of Friday Night Dynasty. But the thing is, I’m back to take my spot Viz. it’s been a few months and it’s time for me to get back to where the world is accustomed to seeing me. On top of the world financially and on top of people like you.
Visual Prophet: You are a fucking bastard, Ryan Adams.
Mr. DEDEDE: If you say so…
(Mr. DEDEDE begins to rise as Kimmy barely budges. The tiger lays flat as Mr. DEDEDE stands over it and stares towards the camera.)
Visual Prophet: KIMMY! GET UP! BITE HIS FUCKING FACE OFF! EAT HIS ASS ALIVE! GRRRRRRR! ROAR KIMMY! ROAR!
Mr. DEDEDE: That’s gonna be tough for this push to do considering I’ve pumped Kimmy up with enough sedatives to kill a group of elephants. Yea, you just gonna have to stand there and watch me do what I do. You wanted to give these people a preview of what is going to happen at House of Glass, huh?
(Mr. DEDEDE reaches off camera and reveals…a hatchet.)
Visual Prophet: Don’t you fucking dare! DON’T YOU DARE! DON’T YOU DARE GOD DAMN IT RYAN ADAMS!
Mr. DEDEDE: Everything you hold dear in this industry only exists because I allowed it. That prostitute turned elitists, I allow. The hip gyrating and magic tricks, I allow. This fucking tiger you love so much…I allowed. Your World Heavyweight Championship run only exists because I allow it and at House of Glass it will end because I want it to end. Speaking of allow, notice I said allowed in regards to you even having this magnificent beast. I allowed it but now I feel like taking it away from you…so…
(Mr. DEDEDE raises the axe high above his head as everyone watching is speechless.)
Mr. DEDEDE: Any last words, Kimmy?
Visual Prophet: …Please…do-
Mr. DEDEDE: GAWD giveth and GAWD taketh away.
(The sound of the axe slicing through the air contrasts with the horrific sound it makes once it connects to the neck of the tiger. Mr. DEDEDE places his foot on the body of Kimmy as he jerks the axe back and forth to dislodge it from the tigers neck.)
Visual Prophet: YOU FUCKING BASTARD!
Mr. DEDEDE: Oh the blood splatter got in my eye! Don’t want to be visually impaired for our big match, huh? Get it? Visually impaired? He-he. Welp, back to work!
Stew-O: This is disgusting. This is a new low of deviancy from MR. DEDEDE. The horror…this is trifling and unspeakable and…
Flannery McCoy: I’m speechless…I have no words.
Jake Mercer: Jesus, look at Viz.
(Viz stands speechless as he can’t take his eyes away. DEDEDE keeps chipping away at the neck of his pet until he reaches the floor. Mr. DEDEDE, covered in the blood of Kimmy, bends down and picks up the severed head of Viz’s tiger.)
Mr. DEDEDE: You said you wanted some head? That DEDEDE head huh? Shit, here you go!
(Mr. DEDEDE carelessly drops the severed head of Kimmy the tiger onto the floor as he wipes the blood from his face with his shirt and steps over the carcass left behind.)
Mr. DEDEDE: Alright, now let’s clean this shit up. Don’t want to be a bad house guest…leave it spotless…like I was never here…
(The feed is cut. Everything is quiet as the tears and gasps are all that can be heard. Inside the ring, Viz drops to one knee. A single tear drops from his left eye as he is stuck with this immeasurable weight dropped on him. The wickedness of Mr. DEDEDE hits him like a ton of bricks as Viz barely catches his World Heavyweight Championship before it hits the mat. Viz clutches it tighter and tighter. His tear dries as the heat from his body makes it disappear. The anger. The frustration. The visceral rage emerges as Viz stares at the camera.)
Visual Prophet: I am going to murder that fucking f-
(The feed is cut. The show stops. The screen turns to black.)
(EAW Logo buzzes.)