(EAW Logo Buzzes.)
(The show starts with a brief recap of the previous week’s episode. We see Impact in his robe singing Bobby Caldwell before being confronted by Drake King where he lays his case as to why he wants a shot at the World Heavyweight championship. Impact scoffs at the idea and leaves him empty handed before we see Helena Merriman winning in the show opening match. Next we see Dynasty Captain Serena Bennett setting up shop and scouting for potential Team Dynasty members to join her at War Games. We then are shown briefly El Landerson, Provençal, and El Landerson’s son backstage having a beautiful heart to heart on how and why they want to win their next tag team match.)
(…After this they walked right in to a devastating and on fire Fatal Destiny team led by Rick Vercetti. Miho-Li and Karina-Ann pick up another tag team win as Miho pins Provençal. We then see backstage Ronan and Mike Gambino bickering and complaining until they are approached by Eric Havoc and Tara Celeci as they are offered spots alongside Eric. Havoc and Tara explain their plans as they wage war on EAW and both men are left wondering if they will or won’t ride alongside Havoc. Following this we see Archimedes J. Manson pickup a big win over Lindsey Kingsley as Felix Hartley and Kai Zolomon are on commentary. Archimedes is shown hitting an incredible cutter on to Felix through the announcers table after Kai and Felix get in a bad brawl.)
(We see Darkane backstage before he lights Max A. Million on fire (he’s fine now, thanks for asking.) The Valkyrie are shown standing outside Serena Bennett’s scouting hub where StarrStan overheard them complaining and making fun of him. Starr then announces that The Valkyrie and six other men and women will be involved in qualifying matches for this year’s Divide & Conquer match at Territorial Invasion. We then are shown Jake Smith picking a huge win over Osamu Archicida next before we see Jack Ripley calling out Lethal Consequences. LC appears and takes offense at Ripley’s rhetoric and responds by replaying a clip of Ripley being kissed by Lindsey Kingsley. Ripley is more pissed than ever and LC teases the release of a “tape” as he exits the stage. Next we see Justin Windgate’s losing streak end and Eric Havoc’s continue as Eric loses a good battle with Justin. Afterwards, Justin is offered a handshake by Eric but denies him leaving the T.R.U.E. Initiative founder alone in the ring.)
(We are shown the heated confrontation of StarrStan by Voltage co-general managed Captain Charisma Matt Daniels in his office. The stress of running Voltage with Veena Adams and Charlie Marr as power entities is increased with the violent interruptions by Eric Havoc and Matt Daniels demands StarrStan to get things in order. Or else. We are then shown the highly anticipated main event between Darkane and Remi Skyfire. Remi and Darkane have a violent back and forth where blood and fireballs are involved but in the end, Darkane pulled off the win as Remi was speared in the spine and pinned at the end. Darkane was far from done, however. Darkane attacked Remi and the referee following the match. Darcy May Morgan, Remi’s tag team partner, tried to help and managed to stall Darkane until he overpowered her and attacked her with his infamous shovel. Just before Darkane could perform his Open Face Surgery move on Remi with his shovel, TLA appeared on stage and so did Steroid Dawg. TLA sicc’d Steroid Dawg on Darkane and both Steroid Dawg and TLA assaulted Darkane as an act of violent and bloody revenge. Until…)
(Serena Bennett finally appears in front of the live crowd. She has seen enough and reveals that she chooses Darkane and TLA as her partners for this years War Games. Darkane and TLA watch as Serena explains their positives and negatives as she tries to justify picking them before making it clear that it’s her way or the highway. TLA and Darkane are shown processing the decision as we fade out on a bloody mouth Steroid Dawg as the recap ends.)
(Fireworks bursts as the Dynasty theme plays. Excitement is all around as we get shots of the hot Sprint Center in Kansas City, Missouri. A fan wearing a “Queen if Ultraviolence” shirt, an elderly couple with matching “Captain Charisma” shirts in Voltage yellow, and a kid dressed like El Landerson are shown before we see a shot of our ringside commentary team at their announcers table.)
Stew-O: WELCOME…LIVE FROM KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI…HERE IN THE SPRINT CENTER…THIS IS FRIDAY NIGHT DYNASTY!
Flannery McCoy: Can you speak a little louder for the people in the back?
Stew-O: *playful laughter* I can’t deny how amped I am today. I’m expecting another huge night for the elitists here on Dynasty and I would be failing at my job not to display this excitement. I’m Stew-O with me as always is Flannery McCoy…
Flannery McCoy: Charmed!
Stew-O: With us is the residential remarkable mark…Jake Mercer!
Jake Mercer: It’s Jake Mercer aka The other Jake aka JMoney aka Justiciar Murder aka Ponytail Prince aka The Smark Sensai aka The Wild Weeb aka The Gaijin Guru aka Papi Yakub, young Pablito de seis dios. You guys can call me Jayne Gretzky tho’.
Stew-O: alright ima just call you your normal goddamn name and we are going to keep things pushing.
Flannery McCoy: We have a huge show tonight as we close in on this season’s first interbrand fpv, Territorial Invasion. StarrStan has slated Impact will face Drake King despite Impact wanting the night off to sing 70s songs and have sex with Sienna Jade. We also will find out who will be entering this year’s Divide & Conquer match tonight. Plus, with Eric Havoc going insane and leading Mike Gambino and Ronan Malosi in to War, Ripley and Lethal Consequences engaging in a back and forth, and our very own Kassidy Heart facing Cameron Ella Ava we are in for some exciting-
(“Put Em Up” by Lupe Fiasco plays.)
Jake Mercer: The Blonde Ambrosia as she is spoken of by the Korean fan base is here!?!
(The building comes unglued as the crowd is split with cheers and boos. Kassidy Heart appears from behind the curtain as the reaction intensifies. Kass is seen wearing black and gold ring attire with a hoodie on unzipped and showing off her EAW Universal Women’s Championship.)
Flannery McCoy: She has been noticeably absent from Dynasty following her incredibly decisive win over Serena Bennett at Operation: Doomsday. But she hasn’t been quiet as she has been seen on Showdown alongside her husband as these two have become a power trip unlike any other.
Stew-O: She is set to face Cameron Ella Ava and is scheduled to face Lethal Consequences tonight.
(Kassidy unbuckled her title and lifts it into the air as she glared at the fans booing and cheering for her. Kass makes her way down the ramp and begins walking up the steel stairs whilst tossing her belt on to her shoulder. Kassidy enters the ring and takes a second to stare off at the audience before being handed a microphone.
Kassidy Heart: Hi. Missed me?
Crowd: KASS-I-DY!! KASS-I-DY!!! KASS-I-DY!!! KASS-I-DY!! KASS-I-DY!!! KASS-I-DY!!!
Kassidy Heart: Sure you did. It’s becoming abundantly clear that no matter what show I’m on, the person in charge isn’t going to know what to do with me. At Operation: Doomsday, I put on a dominant display of in-ring brilliance, leaving no fucking doubt who the alpha motherfucker of this company is but it’s taken this long for StarrStan to get his head out of his fucking ass and book the actual face of Dynasty back on Friday nights. Because let’s get something perfectly clear. I’m the person carrying this championship, not any other lowly bitch in this company and that includes the woman StarrStan had the fucking audacity to call the face of the brand the week after I humiliated her and beat her skull in.
(The split crowd begins leaning away. The boos get louder as Kassidy shrugs her shoulders and side eyes everybody.)
Kassidy Heart: Truth hurts, doesn’t it? But Serena can speak more on how much more I can be hurtful with not just words but my bare hands. I showed my ass at Operation: Doomsday and I unleashed a part of me that I refuse to hide ever again. I let loose the deepest, darkest parts of my soul on to that blue haired, Marge Simpson looking girl and I devoured her in that ring. I destroyed Serena Bennett and yet StarrStan has the unmitigated gall to call her the face of Dynasty? Well…maybe he needs to look around and see that Dynasty has become an ugly mess with her as the face of it. I mean, you would think she actually pulled off the upset and beat me for the most prestigious title in not just women’s wrestling but this entire sport. But she didn’t. She lost. I stomped her into a pile of blood and shattered bones and yet what did that get me? Overlooked. Again. Like always. And they wonder why I have this chip on my shoulder still despite being crowd Undisputed Women’s Champion. Despite being married to the Answers World Champion. I am still not respected and look who is. Cameron Ella Ava is. The Valkyrie are treated with more respect by StarrStan and this company then me. Serena is the captain of team Dynasty and gets the luxury of picking her partners and yet I go weeks without getting booked or even asked my opinion on any of the shit that goes down on this show and I’m fuckin-
Kassidy Heart: I’m sick of this. This is why I went to where I went to against Serena Bennett. This is why I went past my limits against Ahren Fournier. This is why I destroyed Serena the way I did. The Mauler isn’t a mindstate or a symptom. It’s who I am inside. The queen of ultraviolence isn’t a marketing tool. It is who I am inside. I have a cage in my soul where The Mauler laid dormant. Banging its head against the bars as blood trickled down its face. Screeching and clawing for a chance to show you all that I’m not a fucking joke. In or out the ring. Operation: Doomsday was the Dynasty debut of The Mauler and at Territorial Invasion, The Mauler is going to do what it does best to Cameron Ella Ava. Tonight? You all will get another glimpse of my real self when I face Lethal Con-
(“Fight Song” by Sister Sin plays. Fatal Destiny’s music blasts as neither Karina, Celes, or Miho-Li appear. Instead, Rick Vercetti steps on stage shaking his head.)
Flannery McCoy: Rick Vercetti? The advocate and current manager of Fatal Destiny? What does Rick want?
Flannery McCoy: I have no clue but this man is asking for a deathwish interrupting Kassidy Heart here right now!
(Rick reveals a microphone in his hand as Kassidy stands in the ring pissed off.)
Rick Vercetti: Now, now. This all sounds good. I can’t lie. It looks good too :shaq:
Kassidy Heart: :pacspit: Who the hell are you? I know I haven’t been here every week but I didn’t know StarrStan hired a new janitor that has microphone privileges.
(Rick rolls under the ropes and rises to his feet.)
Rick Vercetti: The name is Rick Vercetti and respect shall be paid to me and my clients; The Fatal Destiny. You come out here with this cocky bravado bragging about this newfound/old aggression and I can’t help but hear crickets from these people. You and your rough wrestling upbringing helped build this new persona, this unlocked version of yourself. The Mauler, how vintage! Sounds like a strong man from a traveling circus or an old school serial killer. But, Kassidy Heart isn’t the only one unlocking a more aggressive style around here. No. Since I have taken on guiding and advocating for Miho-Li and Karina-Ann during the absence of Celes Dumont, my girls have taken things up another level!
Kassidy Heart: Is that so? You call beating Provençal and Landerson taking things up a level? You and those two background singing sluts are lucky to even still be on this roster let alone this company after getting beat by Valkyrie over and over again like you did. Just because you won a few matches since then doesn’t erase who you really are. Same way all the make up and pumpkin spice lattes I may enjoy can hide the fact that nobody, male or female, in this industry can fuck with me when that switch is it and the Mauler is unleashed.
Rick Vercetti: Is that so? Well, I don’t believe that shit and neither do my girls. In fact, I have an announcement myself right here and now. Better yet, TWO announcements! You see, assisting Fatal Destiny isn’t just my only task. I also help them in and of the ring. Mainly, being the voice for them when management is making their decisions. For example, we both agree StarrStan hasn’t been the best general manager here. But, if you approach him the right way…he is very keen to some ideas. Such as him allowing me the chance to officially announce that Heavenly Hell will be defending their tag team championships against Miho-Li and Karina-Ann at Territorial Invasion!
Stew-O: BLOCKBUSTER NEWS RIGHT HERE!
Kassidy Heart: So…you interrupted me to say this because?
Rick Vercetti: Oh, that’s just the first part. The second part is that StarrStan told me that you will be having a match next week. A match where you should thrive in. A match against my client, “The Invincible , The Legendary, The In-Vin-Ci-DARY”…Miho-Li! With Karina-Ann and myself ringside!
Stew-O: Another big announcement by Rick Vercetti, Miho vs Kass in a match next week!
Rick Vercetti: We will be seeing you next week, Kassidy. Let’s hope you make it out of that match in one piece, ok? He-he-he “Queen of Ultraviolence”…we will see about that!
(Fatal Destiny’s music plays again as Rick exits the ring. Kassidy rolls her eyes as she watches him walk backwards up the ramp.)
Flannery McCoy: Kassidy was speaking only to be interrupted by Rick Vercetti who announces she and Miho Li will be going one on one next week!
Jake Mercer: Is it really one on one? Karina Ann AND Rick will be ringside? I’m not doubting Kassidy but those two along with Miho-Li could be looking to stack the deck and pull off a big win against our champion. Let us not forget, Rick also announced that StarrStan has officially made Heavenly Hell vs Fatal Destiny for the Tag Team titles the match for Territorial Invasion.
Stew-O: The show has just started and business is already picking up!
(We hit a quick commercial for Axe Body spray staring Mike Gambino. Axe, when smelling strong and looking stronger are the goal! We return to see Stephie Love in the ring.)
(The camera cuts to Stephie Love in the ring.)
Stephie Love: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
(“Psychosocial” by Slipknot hits to loud boos from the crowd.)
Stephie Love: Introducing first from Sevierville, Tennessee weighing in at 330 pounds he is “The Freak Show” JERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREMIAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Jeremiah comes out to the stage screaming psychotically as he threatens several fans on his way down to the ring. Small children are shown cowering in fear of his beastly presence as he steps over the top rope into the ring and paces back and forth like a caged animal.)
Jake Mercer: Wow what a beast! This man has me SHOOK! I heard that back in the carnival days of wrestling this man used to wrestle bears on the regular. He is undefeated!
Flannery McCoy: Damn he must be really old. Should we really be having guys pushing 100 competing in an EAW ring?
Stew-O: He is one of the largest roster members to join Dynasty in a long time. But size isn’t everything! It’s all about how you use it!
Flannery McCoy: :mjpls:
(“Avalanche” by Bring Me The Horizon hits as the crowd boos so loudly it probably causes an avalanche somewhere.)
Stephie Love: And his opponent from Jacksonville, Florida weighing in at 220 pounds he is “The One” ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIC HAVOC!!!
(Eric Havoc comes out to the ring looking focused and wearing a T.R.U.E. Group t-shirt. He fist bumps with Jake Mercer at ringside as the commentator is shown also wearing a T.R.U.E. Group t-shirt. Eric slides into the ring as Jake is shown standing on top of the announce table with his fist in the air displaying true power and pride.)
Flannery McCoy: Would you get your bitch ass down here?!?!?
Jake Mercer: We are fighting a revolution Flannery! Me and Eric! We are like Fidel and Che! We won’t stop until the injustice that has been inflicted upon EAW has been stopped once and for all! Down with Starr! Down with Captain Charisma! Down with Mr. DEDEDE!!!
(Stew-O is shown pulling Jake down off the announce table by the leg as Eric Havoc looked on suspiciously from in the ring.)
Eric Havoc: I see you Stew-O. You must be one of THEM.
Stew-O: Fuck I’m going to have to hear about this in my DMs…
(DING! DING! DING!)
Flannery McCoy: We are underway now as Jerimiah is seething with psychotic rage. Eric Havoc stands across from him defiantly as he seems completely unbothered by this absolute unit. Eric walks right up to The Freak Show and slaps him across the face.
Jake Mercer: Oh shit he just pissed off the monster! Jeremiah grabs Eric around the neck and tosses him over the top rope to the outside! But Eric lands on his feet! What athleticism! Eric leaps back up onto the apron and onto the top rope! He leaps towards Jeremiah! He dodges the arm of Jeremiah and wraps himself around his neck! SPRINGBOARD DDT CONNECTS!!! The cover!!
Stew-O: But Jeremiah kicks out with authority! Eric sent flying through the air from that kick out but he lands on the top rope! Holy shit he just threw him several feet into the air!!! ERIC OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! FLYING DROPKICK CONNECTS!!!
Flannery McCoy: Eric Havoc showing dominance in this match despite his opponent’s size!
Jake Mercer: You have to imagine that Starr and the other board members are SHOOK!
Stew-O: Jeremiah is down and Eric Havoc intends to keep him down! A running punt kick by Eric right into the massive side of Jeremiah! Jeremiah let’s out an annoyed grunt before pushing Eric away with one arm. But Eric bounces back off the ropes and leaps in! Baseball Slide right into the side of the head of Jeremiah! Jeremiah thrown back onto his back as Eric stomps away at his chest. Jeremiah is defenseless against the might of The One!!!
Jake Mercer: Preach! Watch Jeremiah fall just as all the corrupt corporate elites will once Eric gets his hands on them!
Flannery McCoy: Wait! Jeremiah is turning dark red! It looks like Eric’s attacks are only angering the beast! He screams out a war cry as he bashes Eric back with a double axe handle! He pounds the mat and stomps his feet before pounding his chest as he stops towards Eric Havoc! Jeremiah charges in! But Eric with a Drop Toehold! Jeremiah trips and lands throat first on the middle rope! Eric runs the ropes! RUNNING SENTON TO THE BACK OF JEREMIAH DRIVING HIS THROAT INTO THE ROPES! Jeremiah hacking and coughing as he falls back into the ring! A Running Splash from Eric as he leaps towards the cover!
Stew-O: THE KICKOUT! Jeremiah looking weary now after that KICKOUT I think that Eric is doing some damage! Eric climbs back up as he waits for Jeremiah to do the same. Eric Havoc stalking his prey! Jeremiah back up… and a hard kick by Eric to the right leg of Jeremiah! Jeremiah yells out in pain but Eric just kicks the left leg even harder! And the right again! And the left! Right! Left! Right! Left! Jeremiah on wobbly legs as Eric backs up a few steps…
Jake Mercer: SUPERKICK! RIGHT IN THE JAW OF JEREMIAH! I THINK HE MIGHT HAVE LOST A TOOTH THERE!
Flannery McCoy: Jeremiah collapsing like a rock making a loud thud on the mat. Eric Havoc on a roll now! He needs to finish this while he has the chance!
Stew-O: I think that is exactly what Eric Havoc is planning! Eric grabs the arms of Jeremiah lifting him up slowly! Good god what strength as Eric lifts up this absolute hulk while hooking the arms! I think we know what is coming next!
Jake Mercer: THE DESECRATION!!! ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING MANEUVER CONNECTS!!! ERIC HAVOC FALLS TO THE COVER!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stephie Love: HERE IS YOUR WINNER… ERRRRRRRRRRRRIC HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVOC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(“Avalanche” by Bring Me The Horizon hits as some members of the crowd wearing T.R.U.E. t-shirts are shown cheering for the leader of the revolution.)
Stew-O: Wow I have to admit that I am impressed! A very credible and dominant win by Eric Havoc! Eric has been on a run of bad luck lately but it looks like he has been putting in the effort and it is clearly paying off! Tonight Eric Havoc can finally claim he is a winner!!!
Flannery McCoy: And I think he has won over quite a few members of the EAW audience to his cause! The civil unrest is growing! At this rate it may not be too long until Eric Havoc is challenging for and even winning the New Breed Championship!!!
Jake Mercer: HAHAHA you all doubted him! But I never did! The revolution is real! And nobody will stop Eric Havoc! Not tonight! Not ever! Prepare for the status quo to be forever changed!!!!
(The camera cuts to a commercial for cameras cutting to commercials featuring Fatal Destiny and Rick Vercetti for Hertz car rental service. The sponsors end and we return to Dynasty. We cut backstage as we see Mike Gambino and Ronan Malosi salivating and celebrating their actions on Showdown where they crashed the show and attacked more Elitists against managements wishes.)
Ronan Malosi: I haven’t felt that good and alive since I was doing underground MMA and cracking people’s teeth in! I feel energized and ready for anything!
Mike Gambino: Man, who you telling? First Eric took out those jabronis Viktor Stone and Santo Muerte, then we both come in out of nowhere and take down that big buffoon Lance Blackfyre. That shit reminded me of the first time I knocked a guy out and took back the money he owed me and my family. Boom! Ha-ha!
Ronan Malosi: I feel invigorated! I know we both agreed on Eric Havoc being a psychopath and a lunatic but this might actually be a solid plan for us to make some noise and turn this company upside down. We both have been overlooked for some time now. You joined Dynasty and EAW not that long ago and I have been here a while as well. Yet, we get treated no better than that scrub Jason Mckormick or Damon Diesel have been treated. It’s bullshit and Eric Havoc might have found us a way to channel this aggression we have built up into something big!
Mike Gambino: I liked Damon Diesel personally but I can’t help but agree, man. I don’t know about calling Eric or his girlfriend our leader to be honest. But, if he has some solid plans like that where we get to steal the show and embarrass some chumps and this company for their mismanagement then I’m might keep rolling with him.
Ronan Malosi: Yeah, things could be a lot worse. We could be like those idiots on Voltage and Showdown getting our ass kicked like they have been!
???: Don’t get too cocky, fellas.
(In walks Eric Havoc as Mike and Ronan stand up and start clapping.)
Ronan Malosi: I knew that day I helped you sneak in to Dynasty after StarrStan “suspended” you, we would have to join forces at some point.
Eric Havoc: I still appreciate that. I also appreciate you Mike for trusting me and joining me as we go to war on EAW. But, we must be prepared for retaliation.
Mike Gambino: Retaliation? They wouldn’t dare!
Eric Havoc: They would and they just may. I had my girlfriend speak with the security staff to be on the alert and give us any heads up of suspicious activities. I wouldn’t be shocked if Lance, Santo, Korey, or anyone from the other brands are plotting as we have plotted on them. It’s clear they weren’t happy with us showing up to their shows and wrecking things like we did or I have done but we can’t expect them to lie down. I know you two aren’t booked but I am asking for another favor. Watch out for each other and myself tonight. We never know who may be plotting or planning anything against us.
Ronan Malosi: This is true. That big boy Lance looked ready to bite your head off before Mike and I swooped in.
Eric Havoc: And if he wants to try it tonight I trust you two will be ready and able to assist me in disposing of him, yes?
Mike Gambino: I got you.
Ronan Malosi: Me too!
Eric Havoc: Good. T.R.U.E. Initiative will continue this week and we will make our presence known again. Be attentive. Be aware. Eyes up, stay sharp.
(Ronan salutes Eric as Mike looks confused. Eric salutes back and exits the scene.)
Mike Gambino: Wait, wasn’t that a Captain America line?
(We heads back ringside as our commentary team begin to speak.)
Stew-O: Eric Havoc, Mike Gambino, and Ronan Malosi aren’t done shaking up this company it seems.
Jake Mercer: I mean, can we agree on the premise that this stunt has been beneficial for Eric? He breaks his losing streak tonight and has successfully rallied two of Dynasty’s “TRUE TALENTS” as he aims to continue his war on EAW!
Flannery McCoy: Maybe. But it’s obvious this one sided war will be evened out soon. You can’t keep attacking and bullying one side and expect them to lie down and accept it.
(We cut from this exchange to the ring as Stephie Love can be seen smiling at the camera.)
Stephie Love: The following match is a Divide and Conquer Qualifier and is set for one fall!
(‘Please don’t let me be misunderstood’ by Santa Esmeralda plays as Provencal makes his way through the curtain but pauses on stage. He holds his hand to his eyes as if making a salute and looks out to the crowd as he waits for his partner. His music fades into ‘Here comes the Boom’ by DMX as Landerson explodes onto the stage to the delight of the capacity crowd.)
Stew-O: Look at the excitement on the faces of these two, so far this season has been very good to Provencal and Landerson, as always, is one of the greatest to lace on a pair of boots!
Flannery McCoy: Landerson is certainly…a very capable Elitist, and together I think these two have a very real chance of representing Dynasty in the Divide and Conquer match at Territorial Invasion.
Stephie Love: Introducing the first team, first, from Triffouillis-les-Oies, France, Provencal! His partner, hailing from San Jose, California, is the Bit Luchador, Landerson!
(The two climb opposite turnbuckles as the crowd adorns them with cheers.)
Stephie Love: Now introducing their opponents…
(‘Here We Go’ by Sleeping with Sirens plays as Jake Smith walks out on to the stage checking his wrist tape and wearing a cocky grin. He doesn’t wait for his partner, but his pace is slow enough that it doesn’t seem like it’ll be an issue. This fades out to ‘Sensei’ by Datsik and Osamu makes his way down, following Jake.)
Jake Mercer: Osamu and Jake as a team are something I never knew I wanted until it happened! These two are dangerous, focused, and hungry to prove themselves here tonight, Landerson and Provencal need to be on their top games!
Stephie Love: From Osaka Japan, the Conductor, Osamu Arcichida! And his partner, now residing in Atlantic City, New Jersey, The Mightiest One, Jake Smith!
(The two teams discuss last minute strategy as the official calls for the bell signalling the start of the match.)
(DING DING DING!)
Stew-O: Landerson and Jake start things off with a collar and elbow tie up that ends up with Jake pushing Landerson back into the neutral corner, which brings the official in to break things up. HEY! Jake broke the hold, but landed a thumb to the eye of Landerson as the ref had their back turned! Jake smirks as Landerson holds his eye in pain! Jake takes Landerson’s wrist and whips him to the ropes, no reversed!
Flannery McCoy: Landerson whips Jake toward the ropes, but his vision must still be blurred because he misses the timing of Jakes return run and ends up with a face full of Yakuza Kick! Landerson is down and Jake presses the attack by dropping an elbow across the back of his head! Smith open hand smacks the back of Landerson’s head as the smaller man tries to regain his footing, adding insult to injury! Early domination by Jake here, but this match is far from over as Landerson just rolled away from Smith and rushes forward..flying arm drag!
Jake Mercer: My name twin was just sent flying by Landerson who follows it up with a leaping single leg dropkick, then Landerson runs to the ropes, building momentum…running neckbreaker! Just like that Jake is on his back foot and Landerson proves why he’s called the ultimate underdog. Jake is back to his feet though and rushes forward to meet his quarry, No Landerson ducks!
Stew-O: Landerson slips behind Jake and goes for a school boy! SMith rolls through but it’s enough to throw him off balance and Landerson capitalizes by hitting the ropes and nailing a running bulldog! Look at this explosive offence here! Landerson is nearly as quick as a blink as he leaps to the top rope and waits for Jake to stand…flying crossbody! Jake is down! The referee is in position!
Referee ONE! TW-
Flannery McCoy: Kick out from Jake! Smith seems confused, and it’s hard to blame him, he seemed to have things completely in control, but Landerson can come at you from all kinds of angles. Jake lunges at Landerson who leaps back and makes the first tag of the match, bringing in Provencal! The Unvictorious enters the ring and drops a forearm across the back of SMith, further stunning him. He hooks his tights and looks to land a suplex, but Jake counters and slips behind, leveling Provencal with a nice German Suplex!
Stew-O: Jake bought himself a little breathing room with that, and looks to extend it by tagging in Osamu! Arcichida comes storming into the ring and unloads on Provencal who attempted to catch the Conductor with a right cross. Osamu whips Provencal to the ropes and immediately takes off in the opposite direction…basement dropkick to the knee of Provencal! The Joke flips forward, landing on his back and holding his knee! He’s obviously starting to lay the foundation work for his Osamu Lock!
Flannery McCoy: Looks that way indeed, as he just delivered a vicious looking knee breaker to Provencal, targeting that same knee that the dropkick found. As Provencal rolls on the mat in agony, Osamu darts like lightning and lands a back elbow to the head of Landerson, sending him flying off the apron! His focus back on Provencal, Osamu stalks as his opponent seems to be having trouble standing up, those attacks to the knee are starting to work their magic!
Jake Mercer: That’s right and Osamu is measuring the father of twenty one for more punishment…by the way, twenty one children, could you imagine?
Flannery McCoy: Whew, his wife must be a dedicated mother! I couldn’t fathom it!
Jake Mercer: I couldn’t either, there can’t be more than three seconds of peace in that house. Anyway, Provencal is on his feet, Osamu making him stand under his own power, further depleting his stamina, and apart from a limp, seems ready to face his opponent! Osamu swings, looking for a left hook, but Provencal proves elusive even one legged, and just manages to dodge out of the way! Seizing the opportunity, Provencal hooks Osamu’s arm and leaps, grapevining the other arm and falls back in a crucifix!
Referee: ONE! TWO!
Flannery McCoy: Kickout by Osamu, Provencal is still in this, but he needs to make a tag! His knee has taken some abuse and it’s only a matter of time before Osamu locks in that kneebar!
Stew-O: Looks like he heard you, Flannery! Provencal makes a dive for his corner where Landerson has regained his composure, but he’s cut off at the last moment as Osamu lands a brutal kick to the midsection! Look at the cockiness of Osamu as he taunts the crowd! He feels like he has this match firmly in control and it’s hard to argue against him! Osamu takes Provenca’s head and WAIT! Provencal pushes Osamu up and lands Bon Appetite! The Pop-Up Euripean Uppercut lands flush and Provencal has bought himself some valuable time!
Flannery McCoy: He makes the tag! Landerson leaps onto the top rope and springs forward, catching Osamu with a seated senton! The Bit Luchador runs to the ropes, but Jake drives a knee into his back and just like that any momentum he might have had evaporates likes Mercer’s chances of a second date once he shows up for the first!
Jake Mercer: HEY…No, it’s fair.
FLannery McCoy: Osamu tags Jake and tosses Landerson into the corner, Jake unloads with a series of lefts and rights, rocking Landerson, before switching positions with him and climbing up to the middle rope, he might be looking for…YES DESTROYA! The Canadian Destroyer drills Landerson into the mat! Osamu runs across the ring and catches Provencal with a forearm, stunning him, as Jakes takes Landerson’s wrists…CRUSHCRUSHCRUSH! The stomps to the head have left Landerson limp! Jake goes for the pin!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!
(DING DING DING!)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners and qualifiers for the divide and conquer match…HEY!
(Stephie is nearly bowled over as Lance Blackfyre rushes into the ring from ringside.)
Stew-O: Lance Blackfyre?! What’s he doing here!?
Flannery McCoy: Looks like he’s going after Provencal, he completely ignored Jake and Osamu! Provencal had entered the ring to check on Landerson, but Lance flattened him with a running big boot that nearly decapitated him!
(Osamu and Jake leave in celebration as Lance continues to pummel Provencal. Landerson is rolled out of the ring by Stephie as the official tries to reign in Lance.)
Stew-O: Blackfyre is undaunted by the official! He looks to be out for the Unvictorius’ blood tonight! Lance towers over a crumpled Provencal who is trying to pull himself up by Blackfyre’s pantlegs. Looks like Lance is letting the battered Provencal struggle for a bit..WAIT! FEAR’S ORIGIN! THE SITOUT POWERBOMB HAS DESTROYED PROVENCAL!
(A team of security run down to the ring accompanied by Starr Stan.)
Flannery McCoy: Here’s Stan with calvary, but it’s too late, Lance is already making his way back over the barricade into the crowd! Ladies and gentlemen, what a wild ending to this match, but Jake Smith and Osamu Arcichida will move on to be in the Divide and Conquer match at Territorial Invasion!
(As we end the scene, we see the scene transition. We open backstage as we see Max A. Million standing by a cement wall with the microphone in his hand.)
Max A. Million: GOOD EVENING everyone! I am Max A. Million and I am standing here with two of EAW’s brightest stars. Drake King, Jake Smith, the two members of The Round Table!
(Over walks Jake and Drake both running fingers through their hair and posturing as the crowd goes nuts inside the building.)
Max A. Million: Gentlemen. Welcome! I am as excited to interview you two as I was to be around the caring EMT and Fire Marshall last week who all saved me from severe burns at the hands of Darkane. I have courageously come back to work to make sure I bring the scoop to the fans. Question one, are you two excited about Jake teaming with Osamu Archicida and winning tonight’s qualifier for this year’s Divide & Conquer match tonight?
Jake Smith: Excited? No. No I’m not excited. First off, I had to team up with a man I defeated last week. Then, I have to team up with that man again and carry him to a victory this time around. What type of logic is that?
Max A. Million: Well, you see
Jake Smith: Bullshit logic, that’s what.
Max A. Million: oh.
Jake Smith: Then on top of that, we have to face Landerson stupid mask wearing face with his cry baby, abnormally large son watching. Fuck him and fuck his fat son, both of them can open butt fart in to those cheap Landerson masks kids wear to the shows and wear them on their faces for weeks for all I care. Add to all of this the fact that I had to deal with Provençal and his borderline gay obsession with my incredible hair and I can say undoubtedly that I was not excited about facing or defeating those two jack offs today.
Max A. Million: Oh. That’s a lot to take in. May I pivot for a second?
Jake Smith: Fuck Landerson. I’m not apologizing to him or his bitchass son.
Max A. Million: Oh, well alright. Anyway, on to you Drake King.
Jake Mercer: FORMER INTERWIRE KAAAANG!!!
(All three men backstage look around at that as Jake Merced’s microphone was still live and hot as he yelled that innocuous saying.)
Max A. Million: You have been making the case to Impact and the world on you yourself deserving a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship. Impact seems to disagree.
Drake King: Seems?
Max A. Million: In fact, he vehemently disagrees with this sentiment. Impact outsmarted and outlasted his last challenger and everyone except Impact seems to want to see you step up and give our current champion a challenge. What do you think will convince him that you deserve a title shot and that you are ready for one as well?
Drake King: I don’t have to convince him of anything. Impact is a stubborn, stick in the mud, no good, scoundrel. I am not the biggest Lethal Consequences fan and neither is Jake. But even we can see clear as day he was robbed by Impact at Operation Doomsday. Lethal wasn’t mentally prepared to deal with HRDO and Impact and he lost his last chance possibly ever at the World Heavyweight Championship. On the flip side, look at me. Not just literally. Look at what I’ve done since the Draft. I’ve taken a few lumps but look at all I’ve gotten done since this season started. I took out Cage, he’s gone for a long time and I take full credit for that. I erased the career of Vic Venom as well. I’ve beaten Darcy May Morgan, I’ve gone toe to toe with any and everyone they have thrown my way and I still stand tall. I’m over a year in, I am a former Interwire Champon, I am the one that went from a gimmick catchphrase to being the clear cut favorite to challenge Impact for his title.
Max A. Million: This may be true, but what says you on Impact not taking you seriously?
Drake King: I’m as serious as a heart attack when I say that I’m going to mop the floor with Impact at Territorial Invasion. StarrStan and management has made it clear to me that the match will happen despite him teasing that he can or will use his GAWD contract to take the night off. I would have the match right here tonight in Kansas City if we could be im fine waiting until the FPV. Impact isn’t going to outsmart me like he did Lethal.
Jake Smith: He can’t do that shit with Drake because I’m right here with him through thick and thin!
Drake King: Exactly! Impact can hide and run but at Territorial Invasion I’m going to that ring and I’m not leaving until he comes down there, puts that title on the line, and we settle this inside that squared circle! And if he thinks I’m-
(Some faint whistling can be heard. Jake, Max, and Drake look around until Jake shakes his head and points behind Drake. In walks Impact to the scene as Drake and Jake look annoyed and disturbed at his presence.)
Impact: *whistling “What You Won’t Do For Love” by Bobby Caldwell* Hi, kids. You like violins? Because I just so happened to be minding my god damn business looking at sexy pics from my wife and I overheard you two shemales crying about the same shit you always cry about. I then decided to come play two a song on the world’s smallest violin and whistle said song so you two scrubs could hear it. Bunch of crybabies, the both of you. “WAH! WE THE ROUND TABLE! WAH! WE WANT TITLE BELTS” and whatever else you two limp wrist geeks like to rant about. You got something to say?
(Impact brushes past Max and Drake King and gets right in Jake Smith’s face.)
Impact: Huh? What were you saying? Huh, Drake King? Say it now! Drake, you Repunzel looking, prison bitch idiot. You do not deserve a shot at my title. Every time I look in your face, Drake King, I wanna throw up a little. I see a whiny, annoying, coward who lets Jake Smith over there
(Impact stays in Jake Smith’s face as he points to the side where Drake King is standing.)
Impact: …Deal with all the bullshit and you get to just demand title shots, huh? You entitled fuck! You want a title shot? You gotta earn this shit! As a matter of fact…wait…ah shit. My bad. I did it again, guys. Ha-ha! YOU are Jake Smith…the dweeb that cost me that tag match a few weeks back and
(Impact turns around and confronts Drake King face to face.)
Impact: …You are the guy who has convinced StarrStan to make you my number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship that I claim as my own. I need help sometimes differentiating you two fairies. Jake is the one who always tells other men to kneel in front of him when we all know secretly he prefers to bend over and touch his toes, right?
Jake Smith: What, I-Do-Not-Do
Impact: AAAAAnd Drake is the King of not being able to say FUCK, SHIT, CUNT, BITCH, and other incredible words because he was raised by Catholic Nuns who spanked him over and over until he feared swearing and swore to not curse. Am I hitting the nail on that one, junior?
(Drake silently stares at Impact who is trying hard not to smile.)
Impact: Yeah. I see the differences between you two now. But, you both look like a pair of vanilla idiots who can’t measure up to the god damn White Mamba when the time arrives. That goes for in the ring and in the bed you two virgins! You know, I’ve flexed my GAWD contract before and part of me feels like flexing on you with it right here and now. But, if you insist on getting your asskicked and dropped back down to the humble hole in the midcard where you spray farted out of…who am I to deny you this upcoming beating?
Impact: But! I will be flexing my GAWD contract on you and your Round Table cheerleader here. I’m fine with beating you at Territorial Invasion, I was just going to get my dick sucked, sip a little bit of the BUBBLAY, and binge watch Yu Yu Hakusho but I can make time to beat you up and defend my belt. But, what I am not fine with is the matchup StarrStan was proposing for you two next week. Yeah, I tweaked some things and have decided to switch some matches around. Instead of me going one on one with my original opponent, I will be facing Mike Gambino one on one instead. And as for your opponent, well…he’s standing right here!
(Impact places his arms around both Drake and Jake as Max moves right out the way.)
Impact: Jake Smith vs Drake King…live, next week! Should be a fun one! Good luck, hope you two have a blast…
(Impact laughs and leaves the scene as both Round Table members are left standing there trying to understand what’s going on.)
Impact: *whispers* …White Mamba…
Stew-O: Looks like Impact vs Drake will happen for the World Heavyweight Championship at Territorial Invasion but Drake is going to have to go one on one with Jake Smith the week prior!
Flannery McCoy: I was wondering what type of mindgames Impact would pull and I can’t say I’m surprised by this. Forcing Jake and Drake to go one on one the week before Territorial Invasion where both men will be apart of the biggest matches of their perspective careers?
Jake Mercer: Look at the bright side, at least Impact can tell both men apart now!
(We finish with this exchange before returning to the ringside area. The camera cuts to Stephie Love in the middle of the ring)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(“Applause” by Lady Gaga plays as Archimedes J. Manson comes out with pure joy on his face. He happily plays his trombone, Tootie and goes to the ring)
Stephie Love: Introducing first, from the Divided States of Hysteria, weighing in at 205 pounds… GOD’S GAG GIFT, ARCHIMEDES…J…MANSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Archimedes has had a wild ride on the road to Territorial Invasion.
Flannery McCoy: Especially the constant shuffling between brands fighting for the New Breed title, we’ll see how he lives up to a big match situation tonight when he faces someone else also in the same New Breed title match as him at Territorial Invasion, Kai Zolomon.
(Archimedes J. Manson enters the ring and quickly goes up to the top rope to the cheers of the crowd. He plays Tootie before jumping off the top rope and getting prepared in his corner as “Applause” fades out. “Devil Trigger” by Casey Edwards then plays as Kai Zolomon comes out to the stage. He looks determined as he looks around at the sea of people in the crowd and walks to the ring)
Stephie Love: And his opponent, from Melbourne Australia, weighing in at 218 pounds… KILLSWITCH, KAI…ZOLOMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jake Mercer: I remember when I met Kai Zolomon in high school, he was slitting his-
Jake Mercer: Box of school supplies open, jesus who do you take me as?
Flannery McCoy: Anyways. Kai Zolomon has come with a purpose tonight, coming out strong on Voltage making Felix Hartley flee and taking Archimedes J. Manson down. I’m sure he doesn’t want to be taken lightly going into the New Breed title match, and he wants to keep it that way tonight.
(Kai Zolomon goes into the ring and onto the top rope looking around again before jumping off and trash talking Archimedes J. Manson from a distance as “Devil Trigger” fades out. Both men look ready to burst out of their corners as the bell rings)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: Here we go as- KAI WITH A CLOTHESLINE- NO ARCHIMEDES DUCKS UNDER AS KAI FALLS INTO THE CORNER! ARCHIMEDES MOVING BACK AND RUNNING AT KAI- NO KAI KICKS HIM IN THE FACE FORCING HIM BACK! KAI GOING TO THE TOP ROPE! ARCHIMEDES MOVING IN- NO KAI KICKS HIM IN THE FACE AGAIN! CROSSBODY- NO ARCHIMEDES! SMALL PACKAGE!!!
Flannery McCoy: KICK OUT! KAI CAUGHT BY SURPRISE AS HE STUMBLES UP TO HIS FEET! SUPERKICK- NO KAI MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AS ARCHIMEDES TRIES TO ATTEMPT JK! ARCHIMEDES GOING FOR IT AGAIN- KAI GOING FOR A SUPERKICK TOO! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!!!
Jake Mercer: My heart rate hasn’t gone up this fast since that shopping mall brawl in 2014 :whew: Kai and Archimedes slowly getting up using the ropes on each opposite side of the ring. Both men staring each other down as they circle around each other. KAI WITH A GUT KICK! Archimedes being doubled over as Kai irish whips him to the ropes! Kai sliding under him. Kai leapfrogging over! KAI WITH A BACKHAND CHOP SENDING ARCHIMEDES TO A KNEE!
Stew-O: Kai taking a run! KICK- NO ARCHIMEDES GRABBING THE FOOT OF KIA ZOLOMON! ARCHIMEDES SLOWLY GETTING UP AS HE LETS GO OF THE FOOT AND KAI RUNS TO HIM! LARIAT! KAI’S HEAD BOUNCING OFF THE FLOOR AS HE LANDS INTO A SITTING POSITION! Archimedes wasting no time trying to pull him up to his feet! DISCUS ELBOW! Kai falling against the ropes as Archimedes is taking a run! NO KAI REBOUNDING OFF THE ROPES AS ARCHIMEDES DOES THE SAME! KAI STOPPING IN HIS TRACKS AND TURNING AROUND WHILE ARCHIMEDES IS RUNNING! HEEL KICK DECAPITATING ARCHIMEDES! KAI GOING FOR THE PIN ATTEMPT!
Flannery McCoy: ARCHIMEDES KICKS OUT! Kai slowly getting up out of breath as Archimedes closely follows behind. Archimedes grabbing Kai by the arm! SHORT ARM LARIAT- NO KAI SLIDES UNDER ARCHIMEDES! ARCHIMEDES QUICKLY TURNING AROUND! KAI WITH A DROPKICK- NO! ARCHIMEDES PUSHING HIMSELF OUT OF THE WAY OF THE DROPKICK! CROSSFACE! ARCHIMEDES LOOKING FOR LET’S PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE AS HE’S TRYING TO PULL THE JOY BUZZER OUT BUT KAI IS RESISTING TOO MUCH!
Jake Mercer: KAI KNOCKING ARCHIMEDES BACK WITH AN ELBOW TO THE FACE AS ARCHIMEDES LETS GO OF THE ATTEMPTED CROSSFACE! Kai taking a run to the ropes as Archimedes is slowly crawling up to his feet! LIONTAMER- NO! ARCHIMEDES MOVING OUT OF THE WAY SWIFTLY! KAI FALLING TO A KNEE CLUTCHING HIS GUT AS ARCHIMEDES RUNS TO THE ROPES! FOOL’S ERRAND! SHINING WIZARD TO KAI! ARCHIMEDES QUICKLY JUMPING OVER KAI GOING FOR THE PIN!!!
Stew-O: NO! KAI KICKS OUT!!! Archimedes in shock as he slowly backs away from Kai who is slowly rolling over to the ropes. Kai trying to roll out of the ring but Archimedes is quickly grabbing him and dragging him to the center of the ring. KAI KICKING ARCHIMEDES RIGHT IN THE FACE FORCING HIM TO LET GO! Kai quickly getting up but Archimedes is running to him! FLOATOVER DDT! Kai trying to gasp for air as Archimedes is kipping up to his feet and is going on the middle rope as Kai is on a knee! DIVING BULLDOG!!! Archimedes coming up and running to the ropes as Kai isn’t staying down for long! FOOL’S ERRAND-
Flannery McCoy: NOBODY HOME! KAI MOVES OUT OF THE WAY OF THE SHINING WIZARD AS ARCHIMEDES IS IN SURPRISE! Archimedes getting up slowly BUT KAI HAS HIM! DEATHGRID- NO! ARCHIMEDES FOREARMS HIM BEFORE THE WRISTLOCK INTO THE SHORT ARM ELBOW SMASH CONNECTS! Archimedes irish whipping Kai! WAIT KAI ON THE OFFENSE! RIDE THE LIGHTNING!!! THE SLINGBLADE CONNECTS AS KAI GOES FOR THE COVER! THIS COULD BE IT!!!
Jake Mercer: NO ARCHIMEDES KICKS OUT! Kai looking in anger as he’s wasting no time pulling Archimedes up! ARCHIMEDES NAILING HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A PUNCH! ARCHIMEDES BREAKING INTO A RUN TO THE CORNER AS KAI FOLLOWS! ARCHIMEDES SPRINGING OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE AND OVER KAI LEAVING HIM IN THE CORNER! ARCHIMEDES RUNNING! CORNER FOREARM TO KAI!! Both of them collapsing down as Archimedes moves back and runs at Kai! DROPKICK TO THE CORNER! Kai trying to pull himself away but Archimedes is grabbing him!
Stew-O: CROSSFACE! LET’S PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE IS LOCKED IN AS ARCHIMEDES IS TRYING TO PULL OUT THAT JOYBUZZER AGAIN! HE’S GOT IT! KAI SCREAMING LOUDER AND PAIN AS HE’S QUICKLY CRAWLING TO THE ROPES! ARCHIMEDES TRYING TO FORCINGLY PULL HIM BACK! BUT HE’S TOO CLOSE!!! IS HE GONNA TAP?!!??!!?
Flannery McCoy: NO! KAI GRABS ON THE ROPES FOR DEAR LIFE AS THE REF FORCES THE BREAK! ARCHIMEDES SITTING IN PURE SHOCK AS HE QUICKLY GETS UP TO HIS FEET! Archimedes slowly getting up as he brings Kai up along with him, I think he’s looking to finish him! THE PUNCHLINE- NO KAI DUCKS UNDER THE ROLLING THUNDER CLOTHESLINE! KAI KNOCKING ARCHIMEDES DOWN WITH A CLOTHESLINE OF HIS OWN! ARCHIMEDES WASTING NO TIME KIPPING UP TO HIS FEET AS KAI QUICKLY TURNS! JK! SUPERKICK TO KAI KNOCKING HIM DOWN! Archimedes dragging Kai up in pure pain as he grabs him and lifts him up! KAI DROPPING DOWN! ROLLUP BY KAI ZOLOMON!
Jake Mercer: KICKOUT! ARCHIMEDES STUMBLING UP TO HIS FEET AS KAI RUNS AT ARCHIMEDES! ARCHIMEDES! JK- NO KAI DUCKS UNDER THE SUPERKICK! KAI GRABBING HIM! DEATHGRID!!! THE WRISTLOCK INTO A SHORT ARM ELBOW SMASH CONNECTS! ARCHIMEDES GOT THE LIGHTS KNOCKED OUT OF HIM AS KAI PRACTICALLY FALLS ONTO HIM FOR THE PIN!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Devil Trigger” plays to cheers as Kai Zolomon is out of breath on the ground next to Archimedes J. Manson. Kai is helped up by the Ref before looking down at Archimedes and looking back up and raising 2 arms in the air in victory)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen here is your winner… KAI ZOLOMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: This match certainly put me on the edge of my seat for sure.
Flannery McCoy: If this is a preview of what’s to come for Territorial Invasion I’ll be excited. Kai got the best of Archimedes but that doesn’t mean Archimedes has the disadvantage going into Territorial Invasion!
(The sound of sobbing and keyboard clicks are heard as Stew-O and Flannery McCoy turn to Jake Mercer who is crying and typing on his laptop)
Jake Mercer: S-so beau-beautiful, must-must p-post on for-forum…
Flannery McCoy: :skip:
(The final shot is of Kai slowly rolling out of the ring and stumbling away and Archimedes sitting up with sadness on his face and shock as the Ref tends to him as the camera fades off. An ad for whatever new Seth Roger movie is coming out plays before we return to Dynasty. We cut to the ring as the entire ring has been made up to look like a makeshift movie theatre. A big red recliner sits in the middle of it facing the tron, and fans wait as everyone tries to make sense of what’s going on. “Friend vs Friend” by Company Flow blasts as out steps Lethal Consequences in his best suit while holding a big bucket of buttered popcorn and a disturbingly large amount of soda in a cup. LC walks to the ring with excitement as he goes down the ramp.)
Flannery McCoy: Oh god! Please do not tell me we are really going to see a tape from Lethal Consequences involving Lindsey Kingsley and Jack Ripley?
Stew-O: He alluded to Jack being unfaithful last week and says he has evidence to attest to Jack and Lindsey being very familiar with each other. LC teases Jack and his wife about Lindsey kissing him on the cheek last week and one can’t help but wonder what Lethal plans on showing everyone.
Jake Mercer: In honor of Gavin Kirkland *plops a bottle of EXTRA LUBRICANT LOTION on the desk*
Flannery McCoy: :scusthov:
(Lethal rolls in the ring as popcorn spills on the mat and soda flies in the air. Lethal places the drink and popcorn in the chair before grabbing a handful in one hand and snatching a microphone from ringside in the other.)
Lethal Consequences: Oh my god! What gives! I’ve been waiting for this showing for weeks and hours, man. Shit is phony. Terrible service here in bumfuck Kansas City!
(The crowd boos heavily as Lethal picks at their city.)
Lethal Consequences: I mean. I knew the Kansas City Chiefs stunk but why didn’t nobody tell big LC how bad the movie theatres were in the local yokel city? Shit nasty. I almost asked for a refund. But, I managed to hold out. Despite this ticket being the hottest ticket in the world, I managed to get my ticket to tonight’s show. No, dummies! Not Friday Night Dynasty. Rather, the premier of the Jack Ripley/ Lindsey Kingsley sextape! X rated and elated is what the back of the cover said.
(Lethal eats some of the popcorn in his hand and continues.)
Lethal Consequences: You got the current National Elite champion doing some strange thangs with the 40 year old newbie with an ass you can eat sushi off of and breasts that would make a kid wanna stay a baby for a little longer. That’s an incest joke, lighten up. Speaking of lighting up, I have big plans come Territorial Invasion myself. I plan on lighting up and smoking Jack Ripley and taking that sonuvabitch belt back home to the bay with me. Before then tho, I got us a flick to watch. Y’all ready for the world premiere? Here you go you perverts. Hey Mrs. Ripley…you’re gonna love watching your hubby get loose!
(Lethal grabs his drink and his popcorn and plops down in his giant chair and reclines it. The lights in the building go dim as words passed by on the tron.)
“This display of eroticism has been brought to you by Adobe House Productions. Buy a pink hat and support the movement. – LC”
(The feed begins to roll. We cut to the inside of a hotel room as we are viewing it from the top corner angle aimed at the king size bed in the room. Nothing is happening until we see the door nearby open. In walks Lindsey Kingsley as she seems to be wearing just a silk robe and high heels.)
Lindsey Kingsley: Hey! Hey Jacky baby! I got your note after the show! Told me to meet you in this room wearing the bare minimum and some pink pumps! Well, I’m here sweetie. I’m ready also. For any and everything you and your wife aren’t doing at home. Are you ready for me!?
(We year a voice being cleared as Lindsey looks over to the closed bathroom door.)
???: Ye, it’s me! Oh fuck yeah baby! The shooter is ready to shoot all up inside you. Shoot the whole club up. Shoot like John Wick or the kid from Dayton. Ye, it’s me. Jack Ripley! Do me a favor tho, baby! I’m a kinky lil fucker and I’m into some wild shit. So. Reach under that pillow and grab what’s under it and put them shits on and get nekkid. Ima hop out the bathroom and be all over that milf ass like a cat to catnip. Ye, it’s on!
(Lindsey giggles and proceeds to reach under the pillow. She reveals a blindfold and a pair of handcuffs. Kingsley giggles more.)
Lindsey Kingsley: Oh, Jack Ripley you are a nasty man! I like it!
???: Ye, it’s me. I’m nasty. They call me Rip Daddy cause I be ripping bitches clothes off. I’m nasty, you know the vibes. That’s what the boys and girls at the bathhouse usually call me. My wife calls me money bags because she is a gold digging whore who doesn’t let Rip Daddy have his fun. I will be bringing home all types of dildos and vibrators from the road and she always acts coy and says no. I’m like bitch this ain’t for you to enjoy. This for Jack to get RIPPED open with! Ye, it’s weird like that. Anyway, you got that shit on?
(Lindsey places the blindfold on and handcuffs her hands together.)
Lindsey Kingsley: Yes, Rip Daddy! I’m blindfolded and handcuffed like you like it!
???: Alright, boom.
(The bathroom door is kicked open as out steps Lethal Consequences in a wig and a fake beard with a child size National Elite title around his waist. Lethal is clearly dressed up as Jack Ripley and even has on a “Shooter” official shirt from EAW.com.)
LC as Jack Ripley: Ye, it’s time. Time I shoot something warm on you, baby. My nut. This that shoota nut. Pew pew! That’s my cum. You ready? :dave:
Lindsey Kingsley: Yes! Yes Jack! Shoot your shot, Rip Daddy!
LC as Jack Ripley: Ye, ima eat that ass. Ima make you eat mine. We gonna have the longest sex any Ripley has ever had. No less than 6 minutes of nasty. C’mere bitch. Lemme show you something…:dave:
(As LC approaches Lindsey, we see him begin caressing Kingsley and both begin moaning passionately.)
Lindsey Kingsley: Oh, Jack! What would your wife say if she saw us?!
LC as Jack Ripley: Ah, screw her. Ugly bitch. My wife ain’t shit. I caught her flicking the bean to pictures of Lethal Consequences last week and I’ve been tight ever since. I remember one night after I gave her a 8 hour foot massage and she returned the favor by giving me blue balls, she fell asleep and clearly was having a sex dream about LC and I just had to lay there next to her crying. I’m the worst champion ever. I’m a big bitch that’s gonna get that ass tapped by LC. I can’t wait until Territorial Invasion when LC finally gets back to championship status and kicks my ass all night long! I deserve it! You know what else I deserve?
Lindsey Kingsley: What’s That Rip Daddy?
LC as Jack Ripley: This Puss->|%]>|^~!
(The feed is cut. Everyone is caught off guard as the lights go up. Lethal is still in the chair eating popcorn and now wearing 3D glasses as he looks around very confused.)
Lethal Consequences: God damn. The hell? We didn’t even get to see the penetration! What’s going on?
(As the lights continue to go up, we see a figure on the ramp. Everyone goes crazy as it’s clear that it isn’t just any figure on the ramp, it’s Jack Ripley. Ripley is steaming and fuming as LC sits in his chair shocked. Ripley bursts into a sprint and runs in to the ring via the bottom rope and catches LC by surprise.)
Stew-O: ITS RIPLEY! It’S THE REAL SHOOTER! HE IS IN THE RING! JACK LEAPS AND LOU THEZ LC IN THE RECLINER! RIPLEY HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! POPCORN GOES FLYING AS BOTH MEN BREAK THAT CHAIR AND LC IS BEING LIT UP!
Flannery McCoy: Lethal is rating punch after punch as Ripley mounts him and is going to town on his Territorial Invasion foe. God, I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen Jack this fired up!
Jake Mercer: I can’t say I blame him at all! Lethal not only mocked his marriage but he disrespected Jack’s manhood and his wife in front of everyone! Meanwhile, poor Lindsey Kingsley clearly thought she was hooking up with Ripley…that’s borderline rape!
Flannery McCoy: Regardless, we aren’t seeing the end of that tape but we are seeing Lethal get fucked up right here!
Stew-O: Ripley hops off LC and is red with anger as he goes to the corner of the ring and waits. He is crouching, begging, screaming at Lethal to get off the ground! Lethal still has a match tonight against Kassidy Heart! My god! Lethal is stirring, he’s getting on his knees, he is up! Ripley charges!
Jake Mercer: YOU’LL FLOAT TOOOOO-NOOOO!!!
Stew-O: LETHAL DROPS DOWN! LC ROLLS OUT THE RING! LETHAL ESCAPES AS RIPLEY IS LEFT IN THE RING FILLED WITH SPILLED POP AND CORN ALL AROUND THE GROUND!
Flannery McCoy: Lethal is holding that jaw as he stumbles up the ramp! Ripley is still hot and visibly pissed off as he stands in the ring seething. You are right, LC has a match still to happen and Ripley may have warmed him up for Kassidy Heart later on.
Jake Mercer: But What has LC done to Jack Ripley? This may have thrown the confidence and focus off their title match with Lethal disrespecting his wife and mocking him in this manner. Lethal took his lumps but it’s Jack who I think has the biggest bruise right now between them. A bruised ego!
(The scene fades out as we are shown a small commercial break advertising the FULL “Adobe House Prod. Presents: Jack’s RIPPING Kingsley RAW” tape at a measly price of $8999.99. It comes with a signed dad hat by LC and behind the scenes footage of Lethal shopping for that Jack Ripley wig. We return to see Stephie Love inside the ring.)
Stephie Love: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!
( Evil of the sky by CFO$ starts up. The audience watches with all their attention to the stage as out walks Remi Skyfire and Darcy May Morgan.)
Stephie Love: Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 280 pounds, DARCY MAY MORGAN AND REMI SKYFIRE… VVVVVVVAAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYYKKKKKKRRRRRIIIIIEEEEE!!!
(Valkyrie steps down the ramp to a downpour of boos. Remi smiles and shows off her mouthpiece as Darcy ignores them all and struts her stuff on the way to the ring.)
Stew-O: there has never been a prize these two didn’t want, and weren’t willing to break every rule to attain! And considering how well they work together the odds have got to be in favor of Valkyrie should they win here tonight and make it to divide and conquer match!
Jake Mercer: I wouldn’t disagree with you, Skyfire and Morgan seem to bring out a more aggressive side of each other, they’re like two sticks that work together to make a fire, and that fire just happens to burn every opponent they come across!
Flannery McCoy: They work well together no doubt, but what would happen should these two be the last women standing in the Divide and Conquer match? What lengths will they go to against the other? Who would choose the prize over their friendship?!
( Skyfire and Morgan enter the ring. A moment passes by before their music fades out and is replaced with “one woman army” by porcelain Black.)
Stephie Love: and their opponents, Introducing first, from Venice Beach, California, Weighing In at 180 pounds, THE ONE WOMAN ARMY… HHHHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLLLEEEEENNNNNNAAAAA MMMMMMEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIMMMMMMMAAAANNNNNN
(Merriman steps out onto the stage looking focused and ready to fight.)
Stew-O: it would be a huge shot in the arm of the young career of this woman to be featured in such a high profile match on one of the biggest FPV of the year! And in my opinion, the One Woman Army would be a great representative of the Dynasty brand!
Jake Mercer: well to do that she has to get past one of the best teams in recent history. And to do that she’ll have to work together like a well oiled machine with someone she’s never teamed with before.
Flannery McCoy: keep in mind that in the Divide and conquer match, there’s going to be a few teammates you’ve never worked alongside, in fact we might see a few enemies each having to put aside their differences to get to the end, but when they do oh brother look out!
(Merriman stops at the ring apron, Valkyrie dare her to get in the ring for the obvious two on one trap, but she instead waits patiently for her music to be replaced with “El Diablo” by Machine Gun Kelly.)
Flannery McCoy: and her tag team partner, from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 225 pounds, THE XTREME CLASSIC… JJJJJUUUUUUSSSSSTTTTTIIIIINNNNN WWWWWAIIIIINNNNNDDDDDDGGGGAAAATTTTTEEEE!!!
(The crowd cheers loudly for Justin as he makes his way down the ramp.)
Stew-O: A match at Territorial invasion, with a unique opportunity, I couldn’t think of a better reward for all the hard work this young man puts in week in and week out! The only question is can he and Helena Merriman get past the team of Valkyrie tonight!
Jake Mercer: well to do so they are gonna have to hit hard and fast and make those frequent tags that Valkyrie often use to their advantage. They also have to not play hero, instead they have to work together and wear down Morgan and Skyfire.
Flannery McCoy: well to your first point we know that when Windgate can pick up a bit of steam the offense comes rapid fire, which is something that I’d be worried if I was either member of Valkyrie.
( Windgate and Merriman enter the ring, the referee asks each team if they’re ready to begin and rings the bell.)
DING DING DING!
Stew-O: this one under way with Helena Merriman starting things off for her team while Darcy May Morgan leads off for Valkyrie. Both women lock up in the center of the ring, Merriman with the leverage and power advantage backing Darcy back into the corner, wait Morgan able to counter and has Helena up against the turnbuckles, the referee stepping in forcing a break, Darcy gesturing innocen-OH MORGAN LANDS A CHEAP SHOT BEHIND THE REF’S BACK! Darcy May following up with a knife edge chop, Merriman shrugs it off as she grabbed ahold of Darcy May and tosses her into the corner! Merriman now lighting Morgan up with a flurry of forearms to the jaw! Merriman whipping Morgan to the opposite corner, Darcy May hitting hard against the buckle, Merriman charges at her, and lands with the corner avalanche! Darcy on wobbly legs after that one, the only thing keeping her standing is Helena Merriman who’s dragging Darcy back towards the Corner where Justin Windgate is waiting.
Jake Mercer: Tag made and in comes Windgate who gets an arm wringer, Morgan reverses into one of her own before transitioning to a top wrist lock and sweeping Justin off his feet! Windgate nipping back up to his feet, he springboards off the middle rope and sends Darcy May Morgan flying with the springboard arm drag! What a counter! Morgan back to her feet, Windgate waiting for her and takes her back Down with a hip toss! Justin getting control of the arm as he tags back out to Helena Merriman!
Flannery McCoy: Merriman wisely following up with an arm wringer of her own, and looking now to put some extra torque on that joint as she wrenches on that hold! Morgan bending forward to try and relieve some of the pressure, and Helena pounces on the opening with a head scissors takedown! Morgan kicking out of that hold and back to her feet, Helena up to meet her, Darcy with a clothesline, Helena Ducks underneath, Morgan turns around, AND HELENA CATCHES HER RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH THE SPINNING WHEEL KICK!!!Merriman with the first cover of the match!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTTWWWWOOOOO!!! KICKOUT!!!
Stew-O: both competitors to their feet, Merriman goes right back to the arm of Morgan and gets a hammerlock, WATCH YOUR HEAD!!! AN AMAZING HAMMERLOCK SHORTLINE LARIAT NEARLY DECAPITATES DARCY MAY MORGAN!!! MERRIMAN WITH ANOTHER COVER!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTTTWWWWWOOOOOO!!!!
Jake Mercer: Remi Skyfire makes the save with a stomp to the back of Helena’s head! Merriman back up to her feet quickly as she gets right in the face of Remi Skyfire, Skyfire shoving Helena before daring her to hit her!
Remi Skyfire (no mic): TRY ME BITCH!
Jake Mercer: Oh Merriman lands a kick to the chest! That one sending shockwaves throughout the lungs! Now it’s Helena daring Remi to come at her!
Flannery McCoy: But look out from behind Darcy May with the running face buster bulldog! Skyfire rolling back out to the apron as Darcy mounts Helena lands a flurry of shots to the back of the head! The referee quick to make her break but Darcy lands several stomps to her opponent! Merriman trying to get some separation by crawling towards the corner, Morgan not letting up any as she chokes Helena against the bottom turnbuckle with her boot!
Ref: 1! 2! 3! 4! Let her go…
Stew-O: Morgan let’s go just before the movie official calls for a disqualification! Merriman still trapped in the corner as Darcy tags out, Remi comes in and now both members of Valkyrie put the boots to Helena! Morgan stepping out onto the apron as Skyfire sets Merriman up, and slams her down to the mat with a belly to belly Suplex! Remi with cover!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! KICKOUT!!
Jake Mercer: Skyfire punishing Helena for kicking out with several right hands to the skull! Remi with a fist full of hair as reaches out and makes the tag to Darcy May Morgan! Morgan scooping up Merriman, and dropping her back first across her knee! Morgan stretching Helena’s spine across that knee as Remi comes sprinting off the ropes, AND BLASTS MERRIMAN WITH A RUNNING KNEE STRIKE TO THE TEMPLE!!! Helena laid out with that shot! Morgan with the cover!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTTWWWWWWOOOOOO!!! TTTTTTHHHHHRRRRREEE-KICKOUT!!!
Flannery McCoy: Morgan dragging Merriman to her feet, But the one woman army fighting back with right hands to the midsection! Morgan in a doubled over as Merriman charges off the ropes with a high knee-SITOUT SPINEBUSTER!!! DARCY MAY MORGAN PLAYING A BIT OF POSSUM AND SLAMS MERRIMAN DOWN WITH AUTHORITY!! MORGAN CINCHING UP ON THE SIT OUT AND MERRIMAN’S SHOULDERS ARE DOWN THIS COULD BE IT!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTTWWWWWWOOOOOOO!!!! TTTTHHH-
Stew-O: Helena somehow gets a shoulder up! And you can see a bit of frustration on the face of Darcy May as she picks Merriman up off the mat and whips her into the corner! Darcy May now with the handspring back elbow, BUT HELENA COUNTERS WITH A BIG BOOT THAT CATCHES DARCY MAY IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!! Helena now with an elbow that knocks Remi Skyfire off the apron, and now The one woman army taking the fight to Valkyrie! Helena sprinting towards her corner to try and make the tag!
Jake Mercer: Not so fast there, Darcy May having enough wherewithal to grab ahold of Helen’s Ankle! Morgan getting back to her feet, Merriman greets her with a right hand to the head! And another! And a third that gets her free! Darcy fighting back with a kick to the midsection that lands, Morgan now sprinting off the ropes, MERRI-GO-ROUND!!! WHAT A DEEP SIX THAT ABSOLUTELY RATTLED DARCY MAY MORGAN!!
Flannery McCoy: That was an incredible move by Helena but that might have been her last gasp of energy there as both her and Darcy May Morgan are down in the middle of the ring! Both women crawling, each trying to make a tag! Tag made to Remi Skyfire who comes in charging to stop Merriman from making a tag, but she’s too late as Justin Windgate enters the match! Windgate slingshots over the top rope catching Remi off guard, he lands with right hands in quick succession, Justin with a kick to the gut that doubles Remi over, Windgate off the ropes, and he lands with a swinging neckbreaker!
Stew-O: Windgate not slowing down as he’s right back up and off the ropes again, AND CONNECTS WITH THE RUNNING SENTON!!! Windgate with a cover and hooks the leg!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTWWWWOOOOO!!!
Stew-O: remi able to kick out! Both competitors back to their feet, Windgate with a step quicker and whips Remi into the corner, Justin follows her in, and he connects with the running dropkick! Skyfire stumbles out of the corner from that shot right into the waiting arms of Justin Windgate who lands a scoop slam! Windgate stepping quickly to the outside and up to the rope, Windgate perched on the top turnbuckle, he leaps… AND CONNECTS WITH A DIVING HEADBUTT!!
Jake Mercer: Remi in a bad way here as Windgate picks her up
Off the mat, Justin setting her up, RUN IT UP!!! NO WAIT! REMI SHOVING HIM OFF HER AND JUSTIN HITS CHEST FIRST INTO THE BUCKLE! Remi from behind with the waistlock, AND CONNECTS WITH A BIG BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX!!!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTWWWWOOOOOO!!! KICKOUT!!!
Flannery McCoy: Windgate thrown through a loop from that German Suplex there, Remi pressing her advantage as she hooks Justin by the head and takes him over with a snap Suplex! Skyfire now climbing the turnbuckles inside the ring, she stands on the middle rope ready to launch herself, CHERRY BOMB!!! BUT WAIT!!! Windgate hops up and climbs the ropes to meet her! RUN IT UP!!! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE SIGHT TO SEE JUSTIN SCURRY UP THE ROPES AND LAND THAT SLICED BREAD #2!!! Windgate with the cover this might be it!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTTTWWWWWWOOOOO!!!! TTTTTHHHHHRRRRREEEEEE-
Stew-O: Darcy in to break up the pin! That draws in Helena Merriman Who hits a double leg takedown and begins to land with mounted right hands! Darcy rolling over, Helena rolling through with her and both women tumble outside to the floor.
Jake Mercer: Merriman and Morgan brawling on the outside, the referee ordering them to break it up from inside the ring, Helena with a right hand, Darcy Answers back with a rake to the eyes! Morgan with a handful of hair, AS SHE SENDS HELENA CRASHING HEAD FIRST INTO THE STEEL STEPS!! The official stepping out onto the apron and threatening a disqualification if Darcy doesn’t back off!
Flannery McCoy: meanwhile in the ring Justin Windgate picks Remi up off the-WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!? THAT LOOKED LIKE A FIREBALL RIGHT TO THE EYES OF JUSTIN WINDGATE!! JUSTIN WITH A PAINED EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE, I AM SURE THAT HE CANNOT SEE A THING! SKYFIRE GETTING TO HER FEET AND CHARGES RIGHT AT HIM… ROCKET QUEEN!!! SUPERMAN ELBOW LANDS!!!
Stew-O: Remi admiring her handy work for a moment, but I think she wants to make a statement to everyone in the divide and conquer match! Skyfire tagging in Darcy May, and now both members of Valkyrie drag Justin to his feet. Morgan and Skyfire setting him up, could it be?!? WWWWOOOOOORRRRRRLLLLLLDDDDDD WWWWWAAAARRRRR NOOOOOOO!!!! LOOK! MY GOD MY GOD!
(Two men attack Justin, Remi, and Darcy as the referee sees this and calls for the bell.)
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stew-O: THAT IS VIKTOR STONE AND SANTO MUERTE! They just hit The Valkyrie and Justin Windgate and are assaulting all three in the ring! The referee is calling for the bell! This is madness!
Flannery McCoy: First Lance Blackfyre shows up and destroys Provençal and now Stone and Muerte are ravaging these three!
Jake Mercer: Viktor and Santo pick up The Valkyrie after stomping on them and they toss them out of the ring! Now their attention is turned to Justin as Windgate struggles to fight them off. Santo and Viktor grab a hold of Justin and have him in position.
Flannery McCoy: THESE INVADERS JUST PLANTED JUSTIN FACE FIRST ON THE MAT! LOOK! HELENA MERRIMAN IS UP! HELENA SLIDES IN THE RING! SHE SEES WHAT’S GOING ON AND DEFENDS HER TAG TEAM PARTNER!
Stew-O: SPINNING WHEELKICK BY HELENA TO VIKTOR STONE! She gets back to her feet as Santo charges and she catches him. SCOOP SLAM DROPS SANTO AS HELENA IS ON FIRE! SECURITY FINALLY IS COMING DOWN TO THE RING AS SANTO AND VIKTOR ROLL OUT OF THE RING AND ASSESS THE SITUATION! They see the guards coming and hop the barricade! The damage is done but it could have been way worse had Helena not got involved!
Jake Mercer: But we don’t know who will be the two members joining Osamu and Jake in Divide & Conquer now! Stone and Santo didn’t quite do the level of damage Lance did but they disrupted a match that had big implications in it!
(We end with a shot of Stone and Santo fleeing via the crowd avoiding security before transitioning elsewhere. We open up backstage as Serena’s locker-room is shown. Everything is blue and or expensive as we see Serena in a pair of fitted jeans and her official Team Dynasty Captain shirt as she freshens up in a full size mirror.)
Serena Bennett: Hey! Who is it?
???: BARK, BARK!
Serena Bennett: Ah, here I come!
(Serena adjusts her bra and walks away from the mirror to the door. She opens it and in walks TLA and Steroid Dawg. TLA has two nicely wrapped gift boxes as he and Steroid Dawg both have on bow ties.)
Serena Bennett: TLA, welcome! How are you and Steroid Dawg doing?
TLA: Feeling fine. Feeling cool. Shit could be better but it could be worse. I can’t complain. My life fire. Made record earnings off poon at the Poon Palace. That hot girl summer shit was like free marketing. Got johns all over paying for premium poon. We also did a pop up at Popeyes. Had a black girl in booty shorts in the drive hey slanging Poon out that thang. Had guys hopping in the window for it. Hit our quota in like two weeks.
Steroid Dawg: Bark, Bark!
TLA: Steroid Dawg also had fun chewing Darkane up like a chew toy. We watched that clip ten times. Good shit, Yeah?
Steroid Dawg: Bark!!
Serena Bennett: Oh…Kay…! I see you brought the two gifts for me and Darkane, come on in!
TLA: Yo. No voy a mentir but we didn’t want to give that fuckboy school shooter nothing. He robbed us of victory and delayed our revenge and now we forced to team with that mofo? I like you Serena. You cool. You can wrestle and you likely has that Ill nana in your bugle boy size jeans.
Serena Bennett: Uh, What?
TLA: Poon prolly wet like water. That slippery like a banana peel!
Steroid Dawg: Bark, Bark, Bark!
TLA: My bad, you a crip. Slippery like a canana peel. Respect. But, Darkane is a
Darkane: Is a what?
(In walks Darkane after Steroid Dawg and TLA walk further into the room. Steroid dawg begins growling as TLA balls his fists up.)
Darkane: look at this dirty, Mexican, jumping bean finding another way to talk shit about me and cry about me beating his ass at Operation: Doomsday. Typical Latino Anger. Look, I just figured out what TLA really stands for. You keep speaking about what I did to you like you will ever get the chance to avenge that loss is fucking hilarious you Gabriel Iglesias on slim fast, bitch.
TLA: You talk a lot of smack for a guy that was on his back getting chewed like a snack after Steroid Dawg went on the attack!
Steroid Dawg: Bark!
TLA: Nah, I didn’t purposely try to rhyme right there!
Darkane: Yes you fucking did.
TLA: Nuh uh.
Steroid Dawg: Bark, woof!
TLA: Nah, That was by accident.
Serena Bennett: Not going to lie, that sounded rehearsed.
Darkane: Fucking Mexi-nerd watching Hamilton with Spanish dubs trying to tell us…
TLA: FUCK YOU, MANE! ME AND STEROID DAWG MIGHT FINISH YOU OFF RIGHT NOW YOU PEDDERASS!
Darkane: Touch me and watch how fast I bury your asses!
Serena Bennett: SHUTTHEFUCKUPGODDAMN!
(TLA, Darkane, and Steroid Dawg all hush as Serena gets in the middle of things.)
Serena Bennett: Now, I asked you both to meet me here tonight to help mend the fractured relationship you two have. I also hope to build a bit of chemistry between us three ahead of our big War Games battle. So…do you both have your gifts?
TLA: You know I have mine.
Serena Bennett: Mine is over there, what about you Darkane?
Darkane: Fucking gay ass gift giving, birthday, Christmas shit…
Serena Bennett: C’mon, Darkane!
Darkane: …they are in my fucking pocket. And I didn’t wrap shit. So don’t expect any gift wrapping shit, god damn it…
Serena Bennett: Ok! It’s the thought that counts. I’ll go first.
(Serena goes to her locker and reveals two different size gifts.)
Serena Bennett: This one’s for you, TLA!
(TLA smiles and feverishly rips off the blue wrapping paper to reveal his gift from Serena.)
Serena Bennett: It’s a six pack of Crip-a-Cola! Limited edition bottles, they have me and Snoop Dogg on them and one in every 100 bottles has a prize that gives the winner tickets to Territorial Invasion!
TLA: Alright, not bad…
(TLA pops open a bottle and sips some before pouring some on the ground for Steroid Dawg to Lao up.)
TLA: For the dead homies!
Serena Bennett: I don’t think dogs are supposed to drink that but…ok! You can handle the PETA backlash for that. Now, to you Darkane! You dirty, evil human being! I got you something special!
(Serena hands Darkane his gift as he slowly unwraps it and sighs.)
Serena Bennett: ITS A BOTTLE OF HEAD AND SHOULDERS! Yeah, no shade but you might need that. Your hair manages to somehow be very wet all over yet your scalp is filled with dandruff. Hopefully that can help!
Steroid Dawg: bark!
TLA: That’s right! It’s my turn! I got you two something real nice! Serena you first!
(TLA hands Serena a box as Serena quickly tears it open.)
TLA: For you, Serena…I got you…a pair of thong lingerie with my initials on it! Yeah!
Serena Bennett: :scusthov: Um, thanks?
TLA: Yeah, it’s sentimental. It’s a refurbished T-Series thong worn by one of the greatest male Poon servers to ever live. May he rest in heaven!
Serena Bennett: Yuck but I guess it’s sentimental.
TLA: Facts. Anyway, Darkane I got gift for you too. Me and Steroid Dawg. We willing to put all the messed up stuff we did behind us temporarily until we get to Territorial Invasion and win that War Games match. For now, here…
(TLA hands Darkane a box and Darkane snatches it himself. Darkane slowly opens the gift to reveal…)
Darkane: A fucking brush? Another hair joke? You unoriginal
TLA: Slow ya roll, vato. Me trying to extend the branch of love one last time. That’s not just any brush. That’s the first brush I had when I got Steroid Dawg. I used to brush his coat night and day and if you smell it, it still has his puppy smell on it. Steroid Dawg has a gift too! He wants you to brush his coat and bury a hatchet!
Darkane: I’m not brushing that dog.
TLA: Brush my dog, puto.
Darkane: No, kiss my ass.
Serena Bennett: Cmon Darkane! It’s a good gesture.
Darkane: No, fuck that mutt.
Steroid Dawg: Woof!
Darkane: Leave me alone.
TLA: Brush my dog or revenge!
Darkane: I will kill you both right here if you don’t drop it!
Serena Bennett: Hold on guys! Baby steps! He doesn’t have to brush the dog tonight. Maybe another time. Still, very thoughtful gifts TLA!
Serena Bennett: Ok, Darkane. Time for you to present your gifts. Remember, sentimental and thoughtful. We want to build up this chemistry as much as possible before Territorial Invasion so we have a better chance of winning for Team Dynasty!
(Darkane reaches in both pockets and rummages around until he finds what he was looking for.)
Darkane: Open your hands.
(TLA and Bennett open their hands as Darkane sighs and drops something in both of their hands.)
Darkane: My gift to you two fuckers.
Serena Bennett: Oh man is it a diamond or a…UGH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!?
TLA: You nasty bastard. You gave us your teeth? We holding ya cavities? EAW dental plan suck, damn.
Steroid Dawg: Arf!!
Darkane: No. They are teeth that belong to two different people. Not me. Serena is holding a wisdom tooth I knocked out of SOSA Henderson many weeks ago when I beat him and TLA with my shovel. TLA is holding a tooth from Michelle McGillislutty after I beat her ass in front of him as well. I picked both up tight after fucking her and him up as mementos or souvenirs. Veneer souvenirs I guess you can say, he-he.
(Neither TLA or Serena laugh at the awkward joke.)
Darkane: Suck my cock. Anyway! They have deeper meaning, though. They are now reminders. Reminders to both of you that just because we will be teaming up doesn’t mean I have to like either of you or help either of you after this shit is over.
Serena Bennett: You are a sick son of a bitch. But…I GUESS this took some thought to come up with. Whatever, I feel like we made some progress. Thank you Darkane for trying and thank you TLA for…
(TLA cocks back and hurls the tooth at Darkane.)
Darkane: Bring it on, you pussy!
(Darkane and TLA begin brawling again as security overheard the commotion and rushes in to break them up. Serena plops down into a chair not far away as she is visibly frustrated at these two partners she chose still bickering and fighting.)
Serena Bennett: How can I reach these two?
(Steroid Dawg humbly walks over and gives Serena a lick on the cheek as the scene fades out.)
Stew-O: Not a lot of time left for these three to figure out their team dynamic!
Flannery McCoy: Can Darkane and TLA stop hating each other long enough to help Serena win War Games? Or are we doomed to witness Team Dynasty lose to Team Voltage or Team Showdown!?
Stephie Love: Our next match is scheduled for
Crowd: OOOONEEEEE FAAAALLLLL!!!
Stephie Love: And it is a single’s match!
(“Friend vs Friend” by Company Flow blasts. The arena is split with cheers and boos. The division is louder as our walks Lethal Consequences. Lethal raises his fist in the air as he laughs and shows off the bruises on his face from Jack Ripley’s earlier attack.)
Stephie Love: ON HIS WAY TO THE RING…HE IS THE CHALLENGER…HAILING FROM OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA…WEIGHING IN AT 230 POUNDS…LEEEEEEEEEETHAAAAAALLLLL…CONNNNNNNNSEQUENCESSS!!!!
Stew-O: This match is one dream match that very much so could have main evented tonight’s show. Lethal Consequences fought an incredible match but ultimately lost to Impact at Operation: Doomsday. Tonight he faces his second champion since the Draft and likely can use this as a tune up for his next title shot at Jack Ripley at Territorial Invasion.
Flannery McCoy: LC went from being the one that had mind games played on him to being the manipulator himself as he got Jack Ripley as mad as anyone ever has with the fake sextape and the taunting of him and his wife tonight!
Jake Mercer: Was it worth getting decked and destroyed by Jack Ripley before having to enter the ring with this viciously focused Kassidy Heart? I don’t know but let’s hope he is ready for what’s in store for him!
(LC rolls in the ring and settles down as he still wears a slight bruise on his face from Jack Ripley’s attack earlier on in the night. As his music fades, all eyes are turned to the stage. “Put Em Up” by Lupe Fiasco hits, the crowd goes insane, and Kassidy Heart makes her entrance out to the ring dressed to compete with the Universal Women’s Championship around her waist. )
Stephie Love: And his opponent, from Melbourne, Australia, she is the EAW UNIVERSAL WOMEN’S CHAMPIOOOONNNNN!!!! “THE MAAAAAULER”, KASSIIIDDDYYYYYYYYYY HHEEEAAAAAAAAAAARTTT!!!!
(Kassidy flashes her black and gold attire while pointing at her Championship belt. She cracks her knuckles and slowly made her way down the ramp.)
Flannery McCoy: One of the toughest competitive elitists today, Kassidy Heart has gone undefeated since joining Dynasty and looks to stay lossless as she herself is set to face a challenger from Showdown. Cameron Ella Ava was very critical of Kassidy and her marriage to Ryan Adams and though it was a forced/arranged marriage, she seems to be becoming more open to the idea of being married to GAWD himself.
Jake Mercer: There hasn’t been this much heated discussion about a marriage license since R Kelly and Aaliyah.
Stew-O: Um, anyway. Kassidy rolls under the bottom rope and rises to her feet. She unhooks her belt and walks to the turnbuckle where she begins to ascend and raise it high for all to
Flannery McCoy: NO! LC JUST SNUCK KASSIDY! He attacks her as she is on that middle turnbuckle with a clubbing blow to the spine! LETHAL STINKS HIS HEAD UNDER KASSIDY AND LIFTS HER OUT OF THE CORNER! HE HAS HER UP! POWERBOMB BY LC RIGHT SQUARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! KASSIDY DIDN’T SEE IT COMING AT ALL! The referee jumps in front of Lethal as Consequences smirks at his evil deed! The ref forces LC in to the corner and walks over to Kassidy to check on her!
Flannery McCoy: Kassidy is on her hands and knees looking shook visibly as the ref tends to her. WAIT! Kassidy just shoved the referee out the way as she slowly gets off the mat. Kassidy is up and she is clearly angry at that dirty move by Lethal. The referee approaches Kassidy to check on her again as SHE SNATCHES THE REFEREE BY HIS COLLAR!
Kassidy Heart off mic: I’m…fine. You start this match and after I’m done, ask him if he’s fine.
Jake Mercer: Kassidy hurls the referee out of her way as she stands in the middle of the ring and LC stays in his corner.
Stew-O: The referee has called for the bell and I guess this match will still be happening. Dirty move by LC with that corner powerbomb bht Kassidy looks like she still wants to fight! She stands in the middle of the ring as Lethal laughs at what he did prior. Kassidy has her hands up as Lethal begins circling the ropes.
Jake Mercer: Lethal is laughing as he keeps circling WAIT, LC CHARGES KASSIDY! He throws a clothesline but Kassidy ducks and Lethal goes running off the opposite ropes and back at her. Lc goes for a grapple but DROP TOE HOLD BY KASS drops him face first on the mat.
Stew-O: Lethal’s head bounces as Kassidy quickly gets to her feet and watches him do the same except he is holding his lip from the impact of that move.
Flannery McCoy: Kassidy is watching Lethal as he gets up and turns around. Both of them locked up in the center of the ring as LC manages to get her in a headlock. Kassidy slips away, pushing LC forward as he stops himself and turns around. Heart sees him off balance and attacks. SPINNING HEEL KICK NO!
Jake Mercer: Kass throws the wild kick but Lethal catches her entire body and slams her right on his knee with a solid backbreaker! Heart’s back bends in an awful fashion as Lethal allows her to hit the mat again after his move. Heart is rolling around clutching her spine as Lethal gets up and follows her around the ring until she rolls on her stomach. ELBOW DROP BY LC TO THE LOWER BACK OF KASSIDY!
Stew-O: Lethal is targeting that back clearly as he gets off the ground after that elbow drop. Lethal pulls Kassidy by her hair and helps her to her feet. Lethal measures her after standing her up right. KNIFE EDGE CHOP TO THE CHAMPION’S CHEST!
Jake Mercer: Ryan Adams definitely isn’t going to like this.
Stew-O: Kassidy clutches at her chest as Lethal smirks at her misery. Lethal grabs her by the back of the neck and EUROPEAN UPPERCUT snaps her head backwards. Lethal slaps her again with another chop before grabbing her wrist and going for an Irish whip. Kassidy bounces off the ropes and runs into a LARIAT by LCas he floors our champion in the middle of the ring! Lethal puts on foot on her chest as he goes for the cover!
Flannery McCoy: The disrespect! :wow: Lethal went for the cover with just his foot as if he isn’t facing one of the best Elitist in the world? Kassidy shoves his foot off her as Lethal steps back to catch himself from falling. Kassidy rolls to her stomach and gets to her feet and her eyes are looking dead centered on Lethal Consequences.
Stew-O: His mind games May have been working on Ripley but he better be careful with Kassidy. Heart takes a deep breath and raises an eyebrow at Lethal who can’t help but enjoy the torment he is bringing to the Undisputed Women’s World Champion.
Flannery McCoy: Kassidy watches as Lethal mocks her before charging again! Kassidy anticipates this and ducks another lariat thrown by Lethal. Lethal is turned around until he turns to see Kassidy and she leaps and MY GOD! SHES BITING HIS EAR! SHE JUMPED IN THE AIR, WRAPPED HER LEGS AROUND HIS WAIST, AND IS GNAWING AT HIS LEFT EAR!
Jake Mercer: THE MODIFIED MIKE TYSON IS WHAT ITS REFERRED TO AS, FLANNERY!
Stew-O: Lethal screams in pain as the referee demands she stop! LC USES ALL HIS MIGHT TO SHOVE HER AWAY AS THEY BOTH STUMBLE BACKWARDS FROM EACH OTHER!
Jake Mercer: Kassidy has been tested and shown she will go to a dark and sick place when confronted. This is a little glimpse of her Mauler personification. Is that…it is! Blood begins to drip down Lethal’s ear and Kassidy’s lips! Heart stares at Lethal holding his bleeding ear full of teeth marks as Kassidy stays on the attack. FOOT STOMP BY KASS MAKES LC GRAB HIS LEFT LEG AND BEGIN HOPPING! THRUSTING SIDEKICK BY HEART FORCES LC TO BEND OVER! Heart runs to the ring ropes adjacent to Lethal and BICYCLE KICK TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD BY KASSIDY HEART!
Flannery McCoy: Lethal turns before dropping to the mat as Kassidy connects on that sick kick to the side of his head where that chewed up ear sits. Heart watches as LC begins to sit up and charges. SLIDING FOREARM TO THE HEAD! Lethal is flattened as Kassidy slowly gets up and stays focused!
Stew-O: Kassidy rolls Lethal over and mounts him. CAMEL CLUTCH! SHE LOCKS LETHAL IN THE BACKBREAKING CAMEL CLUTCH AND PULLS AT HIS CHIN AND DOESN’T LOOK READY TO LET HIM GO!
Jake Mercer: LETHAL IS CLAWING AND FIGHTING HOPING TO BREAK FREE BUT KASSIDY HAS HIM HOOKED UP! WAIT! KASS LETS GO OF THE HOLD AND GRABS HIM BY THE CHIN! PUNCH TO THE EAR! ANOTHER PUNCH TO THE EAR! KASSIDY IS OPENING UP THAT BLOODY EAR AS LETHAL SCREAMS FROM THE PAIN!
Stew-O: Kassidy kicks the camel clutch once again but Lethal manages to free one hand from the position it was in…LETHAL PUSHES OFF THE MAT AND GETS TO ONE KNEE! Lethal is being bent by the champ but wait! Lethal pulls his other hand free and pushes up again. Both knees are on the mat as Lethal powers his way up with Kassidy on his back. Lethal is now standing with Kassidy trying to turn this reversed camel clutch in to a rear naked choke!
Flannery McCoy: SHE LOCKS THAT IN AS LETHAL IS STANDING WITH KASSIDY’S LEGS WRAPPED AROUND HIM AND THE REAR NAKED CHOKE APPLIED! Kassidy is an underrated submissionist and effortlessly turned a potential LC counter in to another hold that has Lehal fighting and struggling again to break free.
Stew-O: Kassidy is swung around as Lethal stumbles and is visibly being worn down by this choke hold. Lethal reaches backwards and tugs at Kassidy hair hoping that can stop her assault but no! She pulled back more and locks that choke hold even more! Lethal is looking woozy!
Flannery McCoy: Lethal can’t take much more of this. He just can’t! OH LOOK! LETHAL IS BENDING FORWARD AS HIS EYES BEGIN TO CLOSE! THE REFEREE NOTICES THIS AS KASSIDY CONTINUES TO CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF HIM!
Stew-O: The referee is standing in front of Lethal as drool pours from his lip and his arms go dead. Kassidy is making him go to sleep as
Jake Mercer: NO! LOOK! The referee reached for Lethal’s hand and Lethal just lit up! His eyes are open! His arms are moving! Lethal slowly stands up straight with Kassidy still choking the life out of him! Lethal begins stumbling backwards, almost falling backwards, and
Flannery McCoy: BAM! LETHAL DRIVES KASSIDY DIRECTLY IN TO THE CORNER AND SMUSHES HER BETWEEN HIS BODY AND THE TURNBUCKLE! KASSIDY MANAGES TO HANG ON AS LETHAL LUMBERS AND STUMBLES BACK TO THE CENTER OF THE RING! Kassidy definitely felt that but looks like he isn’t done. HE CHARGES AGAIN AND BAAM! ANOTHER SPINE CRUSHING COUNTER BY LETHAL AS KASSIDY FINALLY LOSES HER GRIP! Lethal walks forward and gasps for air as Kassidy holds her spine hoping nothing is broken.
Stew-O: Great counter by Lethal but its clear those submission holds did proper damage. Lethal begins to turn and sees Kassidy stuck in the corner. Lethal rushes! HUGE DROPKICK TO KASSIDY’S CHEST AS SHE IS WEDGED BETWEEN LETHAL’S FEET AND THE CORNER! Kassidy crumbles as Lethal is slow to get up, rubbing his chewed up ear and looking more angry then he has looked tonight.
Jake Mercer: Lethal needs to channel that 2011 LC and take advantage of Kassidy while she is on the defense because if he goes back to the taunting, The Mauler will get even more vicious and aggressive with her attacks!
Stew-O: Lethal stands by and watches Kassidy climb to her feet using the ring ropes and he sees his opening as she gets to her feet with her back facing him. Lethal locks her in to position…FLASHBACK!!! Sleeper-slam Backbreaker! Kassidy is down as Lethal gets up and NO HE PUTS HIS FOOT ON HER CHEST AGAIN! COVER!
Flannery McCoy: Before the second count, Kassidy pushes him off again!
Lethal Consequences: :dave: You bitch.
Stew-O: Lethal sees this and looks ready to stay on Kassidy and he does. Boots to the back as Kassidy tries to get off the ground. Kassidy is flattened as Lethal turns and flips off the crowd who boo his cocky behavior. Lethal turns and sees Kassidy struggling to get off the ground and turns to the corner she is facing. Lethal walks over, begins climbing, and makes his way on to the turnbuckle!
Flannery McCoy: Lethal is watching Kassidy struggle to get up and he is biding his time. Kassidy is finally off the mat and Lethal sees this. LC LEAPS OFF THE TURNBUCKLE! FLYING CROSSBODY!
Stew-O: NO! KASSIDY POPS IN THE AIR AND HITS A HEART PUNCH ON LC! LETHAL CRUMBLES TO THE GROUND AS KASSIDY LANDS ON HER FEET AND STAGGERS BACKWARDS! Lethal took a high risk and met a heart punch in mid air for his troubles. Heart watches as Lethal desperately tries to recover, moving too quick then he needs to. LC is clutching his ear in one hand and chest in another as he gets up and charges at Kass
Jake Mercer: SHE SPINS AROUND LETHAL! SHE CONTORTS HER BODY! THE NEIMAN MARCUS OF WRESTLING MOVES IS APPLIED! THE TORNADO DOUBLE ARM SCISSORS IS LOCKED IN AND LC IS SCREAMING IN PAIN!
Flannery McCoy: KASSIDY HAS HIM RIGHT CENTER IN THE RING! BLOOD IS POURING DOWN THE SIDE OF LC’S FACE FROM THE TARGETED ATTACKS AS KASSIDY LOCKS THE HOLD TIGHTER WITH HER LEGS! BAM! NO! BAM! BAM BAM!
Stew-O: KASSIDY IS PUNCHING LC’S BLOODY EAR WITH HER FREE HANDS AS SHE LOCKS THE HOLD TIGHTER! BLOOD IS FLYING OFF THE SIDE OF HIS FACE AS THE REFEREE WATCHES LETHAL SCREAM IN TERROR!
Jake Mercer: LOOK! LETHAL IS TAPPING BEHIND HIS BACK! THE REF SEES THIS!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stephie Love: HERE IS YOUR WINNER BY SUBMISSION…THE UNDISPUTED WOMEN’S WORLD CHAMPION…THE MAAAAAULER KASSSSSSIDY HEAAAAAAART!!!!
(Kassidy finally releases LC as she gains a very calm look on her face. Heart gets to her feet as “Put em up” by Lupe Fiasco plays and she is handed her championship. She stands over LC before mockingly putting her foot on his chest as he lays on the mat clutching his ear.)
Stew-O: God, this woman is indeed the Queen of Ultraviolence! She bit LC’s ear early in the match and routinely made it a point to attack it and none more apparent than during that finishing sequence. She countered a diving crossbody with a leaping heart punch that connected precisely at LC’s chest, and then tied him up in that submission and he had nowhere to go.
Flannery McCoy: Even after that, she used her free hands to attack his bloody ear some more as it sprayed all over his face with each jab! Kassidy has made it clear she is not playing around with anyone ever again!
(Kassidy rolls out of the ring, avoiding fan interactions and walks up the ramp with her belt on her shoulder and her head held high.)
Stew-O: The Mauler did what the mauler does!
Jake Mercer: That was a fucked up situation, even my ears are shaking!
Stew-O: Kassidy Heart remains undefeated this season as she looks forward to taking on Miho-Li next week on our final show before Territorial Invasion!
(We see this scene fade away as we move on in the show. We open up with StarrStan alone in his office frustrated and looking visibly tired.)
StarrStan: I knew this Eric Havoc crap was going to be bad business but damn him and this whole situation to hell. Got Lance Blackfyre, Santo Muerto, and Viktor Stone sneaking in and attacking two guys that had nothing to do with this situation! What the hell is going on around here? I hope Justin, and Provençal are fine because I can’t deal with more consistent workers getting put on the shelf via injuries.
StarrStan: Ah….grr…alright. Here I come. Let me guess, Matt Daniels is back to chastise me and tell me I’m failing to make his job easier and
(StarrStan opens the door and in walks Showdown general manager Jenny Punk who is clearly enjoying StarrStan’s misery.)
StarrStan: Let me guess, you here to rip me a new one over Havoc, Malosi, and Gambino?
Jenny Punk: You know it, Starr.
StarrStan: Alright hold on…
(StarrStan walks behind his desk, plops down, and takes a deep sigh.)
StarrStan: Ok, do your worst.
Jenny Punk: Do my worst? Do my WORST? Starr, your worst is the only reason why I’m here tonight. Your worst has caused chaos on not just Voltage by Showdown as well! It’s gone far enough! Eric Havoc, Ronan Malosi, and Mike Gambino attacked my stars and tried to ruin my show. You think Captain Charisma has it bad, imagine having to deal with the chairman who happens to be your Answers World Champion even mentioning this insect and his pack of goons. So, tonight we stood up and said if Eric Havoc and Dynasty wants a war, we are willing to fight right back!
StarrStan: Dynasty doesn’t want a war! Legitimately! It’s Eric Havoc and his friends getting their hands dirty, I do not co-sign this foolishness at all!
Jenny Punk: But, you actually did. You did co-sign it because instead of taking care of Eric Havoc and squashing this problem early, you have allowed him to build this little group and bring this crap to my show. So, instead of sitting down on my hands and letting Eric just smack Showdown in the mouth and walk back home here to Dynasty, I decided to bring my own group with me to Dynasty and smack it right back!
StarrStan: You are behind these attacks? Jenny! You and those three thugs may have hurt Provençal and Justin Windgate!
Jenny Punk: I can’t say they were our targets. But, we wanted to send a message to Eric Havoc and anybody that even gets any wise ideas about pulling up on any other brands and starting war again. This better stop here tonight or else blood will be all over Eric, Ronan, and Mike’s hands. It’ll also be all over yours, too!
StarrStan: I’m just trying to run a show full of great matches and entertaining moments, why do these attention starved rioters keep showing up? First Mark Michaels and now Havoc, Malosi, and Gambino! Then casualties are left on all sides. Korey Gaines, Provençal, Justin Windgate, I mean come on! People are suffering and we can stop this tonight if you call off your guys and I try to reason with Eric Havoc one last time.
Jenny Punk: You just don’t get it. You don’t reason with a guy like Eric Havoc. He doesn’t learn unless he’s beaten and battered in to a pile of bones and blood. Eric Havoc thinks he’s smart with his little T.R.U.E. initiative nonsense. Well, if he wants a war then we can settle this at Territorial Invasion. But, hopefully they all lay down and accept this as the final shot in this little feud and we can go back to regularly scheduled programming!
StarrStan: I’ll try one last time to reason with him but like I said I can’t undo what’s been done by not just him but both sides!
Jenny Punk: That’s fine, I understand. But…
(Jenny stares deeply in StarrStan’s eyes as she pauses before speaking once more.)
Jenny Punk: If you don’t finish this, we will!
(StarrStan stays seated as Jenny turns around and disappears. Starr stays sulking and wallowing in the mayhem that’s been caused by his own elitist. Until…)
???: What the hell was that?!
(Helena Merriman walks in to StarrStan’s office followed by Justin Windgate.)
Justin Windgate: I’m so confused! I don’t know if it’s from the weed I hit or the double ddt but I do know that me and Helena just got robbed out there by those punks Viktor Stone and Santo Muerte.
Helena Merriman: More than just robbed. They almost took Justin out. They forced our match in to a no contest. Who the hell is joining Jake Smith and Osamu for Dynasty’s half of the Divide & Conquer match? This is insane! How did those two AND Lance Blackfyre all sneak in tonight?
Justin Windgate: Maybe I should have joined up with Eric Havoc because it looks like him and his boys went untouched. Meanwhile us, Valkyrie, and even Provençal caught the retaliation from their initial attacks!
Helena Merriman: I have been a good soldier and elitist since joining but if we can’t really on security or you to keep this type of nonsense out of our way I don’t know what I will have to do to feel peace of mind around here!
Justin Windgate: Maybe we join Eric and get some revenge!
StarrStan: I will handle this, please guys! I know tonight wasn’t fair and I’ve thought about all of this and have reviewed the footage. They definitely snuck in together because Jenny Punk just came and laid it all out to me right before you two walked in. Thing is, they managed to hit Remi Skyfire before they touched Justin so by the letter of the law…The Valkyrie technically won your match.
Helena Merriman: That’s a load of crap!
Justin Windgate: Yeah! It wasn’t looking great but shouldn’t Remi have been disqualified for using that fireball? It’s like the second week in a row she pulled that shit out of her ass!
StarrStan: I’m sorry guys, my hands are tied. The Valkyrie will join Osamu and Jake in the Divide and Conquer match. BUT! I feel like I need to make things right SO! Helena, you have made quite the impression these past few weeks and despite tonight’s debacle of a match courtesy of some pesky invaders, I am going to reward you. For your consistent performances, your string of wins prior to tonight, and for how you helped your partner here out after he was assaulted by Viktor Stone and Santo Muerte…you will face Andrea Valentine one on one for the Specialist title!
Helena Merriman: Oh yeah? That’s great and I’ll gladly take that belt off her next week! Thing is, I still want a piece of these garbage bin boys that came to our show and beat us up!
StarrStan: I know, we will figure out a way to get revenge. I don’t agree with Eric Havoc or his methods but we are in the thick of things now and innocent bystanders have been harmed. Speaking of which, Justin Windgate!
Justin Windgate: What are you thinking StarrStan?
StarrStan: I’m thinking you too might want some revenge on these invaders, correct?
Justin Windgate: I want my chance to show these pieces of crap that Dynasty and especially Justin Windgate aren’t going to just take this one on the chin.
StarrStan: Good. I’m giving you a shot at one of the men that snuck in here and disrupted our show. How’s a match with one of those three men sound?
Justin Windgate: Sounds like a fucking plan to me!
StarrStan: Great. Like I said, I’m sorry this happened but we can only do our best to move forward and insure this crap doesn’t keep on going. Territorial Invasion is right around the corner and we can’t afford anybody getting hurt around here.
(StarrStan gives a head nod to both Helena and Justin before they turn around and leave. )
Stew-O: Jenny Punk is the one responsible for the two attacks from earlier in the night!
Flannery McCoy: She has rallied her own support group of pissed off elitist that Eric Havoc, Ronan, and Gambino have attacked and brought the fight to Dynasty!
Jake Mercer: But, StarrStan is at least trying make things right for these two! A Specialist title match next week for Helena against Andrea Valentine? Justin Windgate one on one with one of the men that invaded the show tonight? It’s as close to an eye for an eye as I’ve seen lately! And I have two eyes myself!
(We reach our final commercial break as we see an add for this year’s Territorial Invasion with shots of all three team captains for this year’s War Games. Plus, all the title matches announced that will be shown at the FPV this year. We return from the final commercial break as Stephie Love is seen in the ring.)
Stephie Love: Our next match is scheduled for
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOONNNNNEEEEEE FAAAAAALLLLL
Stephie Love: And it is a tri-branded triple threat match in tonight’s MAAAAAAAIN EEEEVENT!!!
(“Gangsta” by New Year’s Day plays as the Dynasty crowd goes crazy for the return of Ms Extreme. Out walks Camille wearing her black and gold attire.)
Stephie Love: ON HER WAY TO THE RING…from Calabasas, California…weighing in at 135 pounds…representing Team Voltage…SHE IS THE REEEEED QUEEEEEN…MS. EEEEXXXXXXTREME!!!
(Camille looks pumped as she walks down the ramp and slaps hands with the fans happy to see her on Dynasty again.)
Stew-O: Former Pure Champion, the longest reigning one in Elite Answers Wrestling history, Ms Extreme achieved that incredible milestone as a member of Dynasty last season before being sent to Voltage via the draft!
Flannery McCoy: I can’t lie, she is behind Serena Bennett on the list of people I’m ok with winning tonight. Anybody but Ahren!
Jake Mercer: Ms Extreme, Raven Roberts, and Andrea Valentine might have the best chemistry given all the adversity they have gone through in their EAW careers. She may not be the captain of the team but Camille is very capable of being arguably the best wrestler in not just this match but War Games. So many stars and champions are going to go at it!
(Camille rolls in to the ring and gets up with her arms spread as she poses in front of the ring ropes. Her music fades out as the crowd is still very excited and hot for her.)
Crowd: MISS EX-TREME!!! MISS EX-TREME!!! MISS EX-TREME!!! MISS EX-TREME!!!
(She responds with positivity until the sounds of “Starboy” by The Weeknd plays and all the cheering turned to unadulterated boos. Out walks Ahren Fournier enjoying the hate he is getting from the crowd.)
Stephie Love: HER OPPONENT…hailing from Pawtucket, Rhode Island…weighing in at 210 pounds…representing Team Showdown…THE GOAT…AAAAHREN FOOOOOURNIER!!!
(Ahren mocks the fans as he walks down the ramp circles the ring avoiding everyone trying to reach him.)
Stew-O: Former EAW World Champion, former Interwire champion, Ahren Fournier is one of the most successful elitist to ever step foot in the ring.
Flannery McCoy: One of the most hated as well.
Jake Mercer: Hate him of love him he’s a baaaaad baaaaad man!
Flannery McCoy: I wonder if he was ducking Kassidy Heart backstage tonight.
Jake Mercer: I overheard Ahren face timing Chris Elite for a few hours before the show. Their bond is getting stronger by the week.
Flannery McCoy: I must say, looking at the current teams it’s hard to argue against the potential of Ahren, Jamie, and Chris together as a unit. Three former World Champions with two men already looking to snag tag team gold soon enough.
(Ahren climbs the apron and flexes on the ring apron before entering the ring and staring down and Extreme. His music ends and all the lights in the building turn blue as all eyes are turned to the stage. “Surfin” by Kid Cudi and Pharrell as out walks Serena Bennett.)
Stephie Love: AND LASTLY…ON HER WAY TO THE RING! From Compton, California…residing in Los Angeles, California…weighing 114 pounds…SHE IS THE CAPTAIN OF TEAM DYNASTY…SEEEEREEEENNNAAA BEENNNNNEEEETTTT!!!!!
(Serena poses on the stage showing off her jewelry as the entire building goes nuts.)
Crowd: SE-RE-NA!!! SE-RE-NA!!! SE-RE-NA!!!
Stew-O: Captain of team Dynasty, former Specialist’s Champion, Grand Rampage winner, the woman who dethroned Sienna Jade to become Undisputed Women’s World champion at Pain for Pride…Serena Bennett is back in action tonight!
Jake Mercer: First match since that horrific beating she suffered at Operation: Doomsday at the hands of The Mauler, Serena looks ready to lead by example to all of Dynasty and especially her teammates for War Games!
Flannery McCoy: Serena and her teammates all shared gifts that held sentimental value to them and it seemed all three were starting to create a tighter bond until TLA’s lust for revenge and Darkane’s affinity for making fun of and disrespecting people caused another fracture for their group. Both men clashed again and a brawl was started in her locker room.
Jake Mercer: If TLA would have given me that hair brush I maybe could have sold it on stock x for like 12k! That’s wrestling history, man! I stan asteroid Dawg! I saw him defeat Barker Wolfe in the World Championship Dog Fighting League! Michael Vick was the commissioner!
(Serena enters the ring and flashes her jewelers again as the beat bangs over the stereo system in the building. All three competitors find their way in a corner of the ring as the music fades and the referee begins the match.)
Stew-O: Or main event is underway! All three are jockeying for position as Ahren flails at Ms Extreme but stops short of a full attack. Extreme looks ready for anything as Serena stands opposite both of her opponents with her hands on her knees. Fournier turns to Bennett and throws a punch but Bennett sucks it. CLOTHESLINES FROM MS EXTREME FLOORS SERENA AS AHREN TURNS TO SEE THIS. Fournier charges Camille and she drops to the ground as he hops over her and runs the ropes. Camille is up and she watches Ahren return and HIP TOSS TO FOURNIER BY EXTREME!
Flannery McCoy: Serena is up and Ms Extreme turns to see her charging. She grabs the red hair of Ms Extreme and hits a clean bulldog on her! Ahren is getting to his feet as Serena hops off the ground and sees him as well. Bennett grabs Fournier by the wrist and Irish whips him
Stew-O: COUNTER! Ahren plants his feet and pulls Serena back to him…he catches her as she is pulled to him…BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX SENDS SERENA FLYING OVER HEAD! Ms Extreme is getting up and sees Ahren’s back to her. She places a hand on his shoulder and spins him around. Kick to the gut by Camille as Ahren bends forward…TWIST OF FATE! NO! AHREN BLOCKS THE CUTTER AND SHOVES MS EXTREME FORWARD! Ms Extreme stumbles but turns to see KICK TO THE GUT FROM AHREN TK CAMILE!
Jake Mercer: Ahren has her in a piledriver position. He hooks both arms. HE LIFTS HER! DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB PLANTS CAMILE ON THE MAT! AHREN COVERS HER!
Flannery McCoy: SERENA FLIES IN AND NAILS FOURNIER WITH A FOREARM TO BREAK UP THE PIN! Fast paced action as many triple threat matches tend to be, right guys?
Stew-O: Yes indeed. When you have the caliber of athletes in a match like this battling in a War Games preview, there is a lot of emotions involved. Ahren Fournier and Ms Extreme are foreigners to this brand being that they perform on Voltage and Showdown, so winning this match becomes a badge of honor for not just them but their fans and their team heading towards Territorial Invasion.
Flannery McCoy: It’s also very important for Team Captains to try and defend their shows as well. I honestly believe the pressure is on Serena to win especially with the place where her team is currently!
Stew-O: All three are back to their feet as Ahren charges Serena who side steps him and shoved him in to a corner. Ahren plants his foot in the middle turnbuckle to block the collision before turning to see…!!! WOW!
Flannery McCoy: SERENA AND MS EXTREME WORK TOGETHER HERE! SERENA IRISH WHIPS CAMILE AND SHE HITS A FLYING SPINNING HEEL KICK THAT LANDS RIGHT ON THE BUTTON OF FOURNIER! Ahren is leaning against the turnbuckle and look! SERENA CHARGES AND LEAPS! SHE LANDS FEET FIRST ON AHREN AND GRABS THE BACK OF HIS HEAD! MONKEY FLIP FROM THE CORNER AND FOURNIER IS FLIPPED AND DROPPED IN TO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
Stew-O: Insane team work by two thirds of our main event! First Ms Extreme is Irish whipped by Serena and hits a flying heel kick to Ahren, then Serena follows it with a beautiful monkey flip as Ahren is on his back in pain!
Flannery McCoy: #queensonly as Serena gets off the ground and sees Ahren on his back. Serena walks towards Ahren BUT WAIT! MS EXTREME IS BEHIND SERENA! SHE GRABS HER! GERMAN SUPLEX TO SERENA FROM MS EXTREME!
Stew-O: Teamwork dons as Ms Extreme plants Serena on her head with that move! Ahren rolls to his stomach and begins to get up as Extreme does the same. Fournier tried to sneak Extreme but she blocks his attack with a stiff jab to his jaw. Fournier is rocked as Extreme runs backwards and bounces off the ropes. She charges Ahren and BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX FROM FOURNIER DROPS MS EXTREME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! Fournier gets to his feet and turns to see
Flannery McCoy: REEL IT IN! SERENA HITS THE TILT A WHIRL HEADSCISSORS OUT OF NOWHERE! BENNETT GOES FOR THE COVER!
Jake Mercer: MS EXTREME LEAPS FROM THE GROUND AND SMASHES AN ELBOW TO SERENA’S SIDE! PIN BROKEN UP AS ALL THREE ARE ON THE GROUND ROLLING AROUND! Ahren rolls to the ropes and uses them to get up. Ms Extreme does the same and Serena pushes her self off the mat as all three are on their feet. Ms Extreme charges Serena and she ducks the clothesline but Extreme keeps running.
Stew-O: OVER THE HEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX BY FOURNIER SENDS EXTREME OVER THE ROPES AND FLYING OUT OF THE RING! MY GOD SHE LANDS ON HER SHOULDER IN THE APRON BEFORE TUMBLING TO THE ARENA FLOOR! THAT LOOKED FILTHY!
Flannery McCoy: Ms Extreme has battled many injuries in her past but a sickening move like that can sideline anyone if they land wrong and I’m no doctor but she couldn’t have landed right!
Stew-O: Fournier is in the ring looking outside st the damage he has done as a sick smile is on his face now!
Crowd: FUCK YOU FOURNIER!!!
*clap clap clap-clap-clap*
Crowd: FUCK YOU FOURNIER!!!
*clap clap clap-clap-clap*
Flannery McCoy: Dynasty faithful are letting him hear it as the Starboy relishes in possibly taking Ms Extreme out of this match!
Stew-O: LOOK! SERENA WITH THE SCHOOL GIRL AS AHREN HAS HIS BACK TO HER! COVER!
Flannery McCoy: Kick our by Fournier as Serena flies off his body. Serena scrambles to her feet as Ahren clearly was caught off guard by that pin. MOONLIGHT! Serena hits the running neckbreaker on Ahren as he tries to get to his feet. MOONLIGHT AGAIN! Fournier tried to hurry off the ground and eats a second running neckbreaker. Serena is back up and waiting, stomping in place, Fournier looks thrown off as he somehow gets to his feet for the third time. MOON-NOOOO! Ahren avoids the third neckbreaker. KICK TO THE SHIN…Serena drops to her knees. STAR STRUCK! STAR STRUCK CONNECTS!
Stew-O: SUPERKICK FLOORS THE TEAM CAPTAIN AS AHREN POSES FOR THE DYNASTY FANS THAT BOO HIM RELENTLESSLY!
Flannery McCoy: Hate him all they want, it was a great counter to stop Serena in her tracks. Fournier is posturing now and he should focus on finishing this match. Fournier points to the turnbuckle as he walks to it and begins climbing it! Ahren is perched up top as Serena lays on her back in the middle of the ring.
Stew-O: LOOK! MS EXTREME JUST HOPPED ON THE APRON! SHE RUSHES AHREN AND SHOVES HIM OFF THE TOP ROPE! AHREN FLIES AND BOUNCES NECK FIRST ON THE TOP ROPE AND TUMBLES RINGSIDE!
Flannery McCoy: Ahren is climbing back up and leaning against the apron as he stands ring side. Ms Extreme is now climbing that same turnbuckle Fournier was just perched on top of. She sees Serena still down and Ahren also in position. LOOK! SHE AIMS AT FOURNIER! MS EXTREME LEAPS!
Jake Mercer: BLIND FURY!!! IT CONNECTS AS EXTREME DELIVERS THE DOUBLE FOOT STOMP TO THE BACK OF AHREN’S HEAD AND BOUNCES IT BETWEEN HER FEET AND THE RING APRON! MS EXTREME LANDS AWKWARDLY RING SIDE AND GETS UP LIMPING BUT THAT PAIN IS NOTHING TO HER! SHE STANDS AND ROARS TO THE CROWD AS EVEN THE FANS HERE ON DYNASTY ARE IMPRESSED BY THAT MOVE!
Stew-O: She’s favoring that leg but with the way Fournier collapsed ringside, it’s likely he has a concussion from that double foot stomp! Extreme begins walking towards Ahren as she places one hand on the ring apron to help her from putting too much weight in that ankle she landed on badly as
Jake Mercer: BASEBALL SLIDE! SERENA SLIDES FROM IN THE RING AND KICKS EXTREME ON THE SIDE OF HER FACE AS CAMILE FLIES AWAY FROM THE APRON AND BOUNCES AGAINST THE RING BARRICADE! Bennet had been down from that Starstruck superkick but she is back up and the last person standing in our triple threat main event match!
Flannery McCoy: Fournier is slow to get up as he clutches the back of his head. Ms Extreme is also moving but slow as well. Both are near each other ring side as Serena begins hopping up and down inside the ring. Serena sees her chance and she’s going to take it! Serena bounces off the opposite ring ropes and sprints to the other side. Serena leaps HIGH AND ABOVE THE TOP ROPE AND HITS A FLY OR DIE SOMERSAULT DIVE ON BOTH EXTREME AND AHREN! SERENA LANDS ON BOTH HER OPPONENTS AS THE DYNASTY CROWD GOES BANANAS!
Jake Mercer: SHE IN HER BAG TONIGHT, YA’LL!!
Stew-O: Serena crawls out of the pile of bodies and manages to help get Ahren Fournier to his feet and uses her entire body to shove him in the ring. Bennett gets in the ring and stalks Fournier as he looks discombobulated and unaware of what’s happening.
Jake Mercer: That’s what a concussion can do, Stew!
Flannery McCoy: Serena seems very aware as she stalks Fournier who stands with his back facing her.
Stew-O: Serena charged and leaps as Ahren turns to see her. REEL IT IN-NOO! AHREN DOES A CART WHEEL FOLLOWING SERENA’S HEADSCISSORS TAKE DOWN AS FOURNIER GETS TO HIS FEET! Fournier sees Serena rise up and charges her this time. PROTECT YA NECK!!! THE NECKSNAPPING CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL HITS AS SERENA FLIPS OVER AND ON TO HER FACE! AHREN FLOPS TO THE MAT AND BEGINS CRAWLING TO HER BODY!
Flannery McCoy: LOOK! MS EXTREME IS CLIMBING FROM THE APRON TO THE TURNBUCKLE! FOURNIER RAISES ONE ARM HIGH FROM THE GROUND! CAMILLE IS CLIMBING THE TURNBUCKLE! FOURNIER FOR THE COVER!
Stew-O: BLIND FURY TO AHREN FOURNIER AGAIN BY MS EXTREME! SHE STOMPS THE BACK OF HIS HEAD AND BREAKS UP THE COVER AS FOURNIER ROLLS OFF SERENA AND EXTREME HOOKS THE LEG ON AHREN! COVER!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“Gangsta” by New Year’s Day plays as Ms Extreme rises from the bodies and receives a modest cheer from the fans who likely wanted Bennett to win this triple threat bout.)
Stephie Love: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…FROM TEAM VOLTAGE…MS EXTREEEEEEEMMMMMEEEE!!
Flannery McCoy: Miraculous victory by the visitor Ms Extreme as she soars in to stomp on Ahren’s head for the second time and pin him for the win tonight! Huge victory for her as she collects a win for her and her brand in the first of three big inter branded triple threat main event matches this weekend!
Stew-O: Can’t take a thing away from Serena or Ahren but it’s clear Ms Extreme was walking in to this match wanting to steal the win from her old show and set the tone for everybody else this weekend heading in to this year’s War Games match!
Flannery McCoy: Lots of countering and a brief moment of team work between Extreme and Serena but in the end the Voltage elitist held out and flew into stomp on Ahren and Serena’s chances at a win in this main event match!
Jake Mercer: She is The Red Queen and she just made both our team captain and the representative from Showdown humbled with her incredible high flying antics. I can’t wait to see what these three and the rest of the War Games performers bring at Territorial Invasion!
Stew-O: The go home show is next week as we head to The KFC Yum Center in Louisville, Kentucky for the final show before Territorial Invasion! I’m Stew-O and from Flannery, Jake, and the rest of Dynasty…we will see you next week!
(A shot of Ms Extreme exiting the ring and walking to the barricade where she finds a young girl holding a team Voltage flag and she makes sure the camera gets a good look at it as the feed fades to black and the show ends.)
(EAW Logo buzzes.)