Anna C. Flowers
(EAW Logo Plays.)
(We are quickly shown a brief recap of Friday Night Dynasty from last week. Mike Gambino stealing a win from Justin Windgate, Darcy May beating Lindsey Kingsley, Fatal Destiny winning, and Provencal defying the odds and beating Landerson. We see Jason leave Ronan for dead against Fatal Destiny, Darcy get some help from Remi, and Eric Havoc appearing and attacking Provencal. )
(Next, we are shown clips of Lethal Consequences interaction with The Valkyrie (Darcy May Morgan and Remi Skyfire). Following that, we see Vic Venom and Jack Ripley have a near match of the year candidate bout only to be spoiled by The Round Table. Rip and Vic fight off Drake and Jake after being assaulted with chairs as StarrStan is shown furious onstage at this outcome. We finally arrive to the main event, Serena Bennett vs Impact. Highlights of them going toe to toe are shown but the feed ends as we watch the horrific attack from Kassidy Heart to Serena. A beating takes place but everything is capped off when Kassidy uses a staple gun to impale Serena’s hand to the ring.)
(We finally arrive to the present as we are shown TD Garden as the fans can be seen getting hype. Freshly minted “Valkyrie” shirts worn by a trio of girls, a Fatal Destiny hoodie worn by a tall guy, a “Queen of Violence” shirt worn by a grown man cosplaying as Kassidy Heart in the crowd as the camera pans. We arrive to the commentary desk as our trio is shown. Stew-O-O has a nice suit, Flannery McCoy with a nice blouse, and Jake Mercer with a vintage “Jaded Wolfe Hearts” shirt on under his blazer.)
Stew-O: IT’S THE GO HOME SHOW AS FRIDAY NIGHT DYNASTY MARCHES TOWARDS OPERATION: DOOMSDAY! I’m Stew-O-O and I’m here with Flannery McCoy and Jake Mercer and we are proud to announce for you one of the biggest episodes of professional wrestling, as we will see tonight some blockbuster match ups.
Jake Mercer: I’m so excited…and I just can’t hide it.
Flannery McCoy: Just don’t pull a Gavin Kirkland at Midsummer Massacre and leave DNA all over this announcer table.
Jake Mercer: Of course not but if The Dropkick Darling hits one of those incredible dropkicks or my Japanese dynamo Miho Li shows up I can’t make a promise I won’t cream these A.P.C. jeans. But, I will try my best, for you Flan!
(“Can I live” by Jay-Z plays. The fans erupt. The smooth hip hop classic bumps in the arena speakers as the crowd gets hype.)
Stew-O: Looks like we are starting off this event with the last man we saw last week!
(Out steps Impact, leather jacket and make up on his face. The World Heavyweight title around his waist as he rubs his belt’s face plate and gives a confident stare. Impact begins to walk down the ramp before stopping midway, spreading his arms, posing as his belt shines in the bright lights of TD Garden. )
Flannery McCoy: I said it last week, I am sick of Impact and his 99 reigns HOWEVER, if he successfully defends his title at Operation: Doomsday and beats Lethal Consequences, I don’t know who can appear to be the one man or woman that’s going to stop him and that GAWD contract he has.
Stew-O: Regardless of your opinion on him as a human being, Impact is one of if not the greatest Elitist in EAW history. Highly decorated, countless big match victories, and Operation: Doomsday could be another highlight for his illustrious career.
Jake Mercer: A lot of sleeping on Lethal Consequences. This man is a former champion and could easily become a champion again! Imp has stacked the deck against him but never count out a man with his back against the wall. Lethal may not be the most loved either but he is the biggest challenge to Impact.
(Impact enters the ring, he is handed a microphone from Stephie Love. The Jay-Z led song fades out as Imp begins to walk around the ring.)
Impact: Fast, so fast. We are approaching the zenith. No, not for me. The pinnacle, not mine. No. We are faced with the end of all of this. Not EAW, not me, not even the career of this gnat that has persistently plagued me for so long. Operation: Doomsday, I get to perform a surgical miracle myself. I get to remove Lethal Consequences from the World title scene like a malignant tumor from a cancer ridden body. I don’t want cheers, I don’t even want a reaction. When I beat LC at Doomsday, the operation will be successful and Dr Imp will put this bastard behind me once and for all. Never again will he get a shot at the title for as long as I reign. Trust me when I say this as well; LC will never get another World title shot because I am not losing this title ever again. Ever. Flat out.
(Impact runs his fingers through his hair.)
Impact: I don’t want cheers, reactions, none of that. I want silence as a show of respect for all I have and continue to do for this company. People come and go, some get out and flame out quicker than they did when they came. Me? I am the longevity that deserves praise. I have the career that statues should be erected in honor of. I am the original poster boy for this company. My world championship reign isn’t just about my in ring greatness. It’s about me claiming the mantle I always am supposed to have. T’Challa to Black Panther, Brady to Super Bowls, Imp and World titles. EAW, greatness, and white mamba will always be synonymous. The mission gets clearer. Whenever, wherever, Imp and this belt will always be together like Shakira. Biased views are laughed at when it comes from anyone but me. I see things perfectly, especially from my ivory tower. Down I look at the sea of people waiting for me to fall. Hoping LC finds a way to catch me slipping. Not in these boots, not in bare feet, not now and not ever. I will not slip up. I will slaughter this cac and I have one more thing to add to this already one sided affair. I, Impact, am using my GAWD contract to-
(“Friend vs Friend” by Company Flow. Out steps Lethal Consequences as the fans pop. LC is looking especially :dave: and annoyed as he stares down the ring from the stage.)
Lethal Consequences: :dave:
Impact: Here goes this mouth breathing, motherfu-
Lethal Consequences: Stop. Stop the press, this mess is already ridiculous. Fucking ridiculous. I go from a literal vacation, a week off, an excursion to Showdown as I show stole the show at Midsummer Massacre to this nonsense once again. I return to a tag team match against two loud sassy lasses and on my side of the battle stands that eyeliner wearing Druid Darkane. All with you in my sights in the next week, at the big show, the explosive culmination to this extraordinary exasperated “feud”. Fucker. Ye, sure. I was resigned to the fact that you and that wicked witch of the west GAWD contract clause let’s you decide my fate if I somehow, impossibly, lose at Operation: Doomsday. I was cool, took a minute to wrap my head around such an asinine stipulation but I got it loud and clear. I had settled with the idea of a world where I can’t challenge you for that gold if I lose at Doomsday. But, now, here comes Dick Karlise about to add his cherry on top of this shit sundae he’s force feeding me. At the very last minute, too! How rude! Messy lil’ bitch.
(Imp smirks, a cocky grin is on his face as LC stands on stage pacing.)
Lethal Consequences: Ye, it’s me. LC. The inevitable. Know why they call me that, huh? You know why ya’ bitch. Cause it’s inevitably clear I am going to be here until the earth explodes. It’s inevitable that I am going to appear on Midsummer Massacre every year. It’s inevitable that I’m going to punt kick your wide load gut like the Raiders special teams unit. It’s inevitable that I am going to beat you at Operation: Doomsday and get that there belt. Lil bitch. This ain’t no make believe fairytale, dr Seuss story. You and that toilet paper contract are going to be used to wipe my ass after I take a shit on your career next week. No dq, i might literally take a shit on your face and
Impact: Yeah, ok. Shut your cock sandwich sucking mouth for two seconds so I can announce who the special guest referee is for this match, you stupid idiot!
Lethal Consequences: :dave: …special ref?
Impact: :troll: You sure you want to know or do you have any more whimsical musings to mutter on and help half this building fall asleep?
Lethal Consequences: :dave: fucking…you son of a…it’s Sienna Jade isn’t it?
(The crowd pops at the idea of Sienna Jade getting involved.)
Impact: nope. Its
Lethal Consequences: Fuck! It’s, um…DEDEDE.
Impact: No, you stupid idiot. Its
Lethal Consequences: God damn. Senn? Carlos Rosso? Nobi? Jackson Blayde? Marshall Mathers? WHO YOU GOT?
Impact: I mean…
(The crowd begins to roar. A figure appears behind LC on stage.)
Impact: You mentioned MSM and that reminded me of a special referee match you refereed where you screwed over a certain someone so…I made a call.
(LC’s eyes light up as he finally is listening to the crowd and turns around.)
Stew-O: HRDO! HRDO! HRDO! He’s behind LC! LC turns! CHAIR SHOT FROM HRDO! HRDO CRACKS LC IN THE HEAD WITH A CHAIR AND LEAVES HIM FLAT ON HIS BACK ON STAGE!
Flannery McCoy: Impact rolls out of the ring as HRDO stands over LC, towering him!
Jake Mercer: LC screwed HRDO in a match many years ago when he was a special referee and it looks like Impact just added him to this match as one more hurdle for LC to overcome! My god, HRDO is back and he’s the special referee for this epic World title match!
Stew-O: Impact walks up the ramp, kneeling down, hovering over Lethal Consequences as he holds his title right in LC’s face! HRDO is fuming as he clutches that steel chair and LC looks hurt as Friday Night Dynasty starts off with a blockbuster move!
Jake Mercer: GAWD contract, BABY!
(We fade out as we see an ad for Miho-Ali’s new Anime series called “Miho-Li’s Wee-Woah-Wee Adventure”. Clips of Miho-Li sailing the open sea with caricatures of Karina and Celes are by her side as a “coming to Crackle very soon” is shown as it ends. We return to the ring as Stephie Love is seen smiling.)
Stephie Love: THEN FOLLOWING TAG TEAM CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!!!
(“Bolt Thrower”by Mercenary starts up.)
Stephie Love: Introducing first, from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 236 pounds, THE MERCENARY… MMMMMMIIIIIIIKKKKKKKEEEEEE GGGGGGAAAAAMMMMBBBBBBBBIIIIINNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!
(Gambino steps out onto the stage with his typical smirk painted across his face as he makes his way down the aisle. )
Stew-O: Mike Gambino feeling confident this week as he is still riding high on the win he scored on our last episode, and if he catches another break like he did last week then he’s all the more likely to have that same confident swagger about him next week!
Jake Mercer: What you call a lucky break I call a well played chess game where Gambino put himself in a position to win!
Flannery McCoy: and I call it a missed call by the referee, but nevertheless Gambino gets a win in the column and might add another here tonight.
(Mike enters the ring and just moments later his music fades out and in its place “Applause” by Lady Gaga starts up.)
Stephie Love: and his tag team partner, from the Divided States of Hysteria, Weighing In at 205 pounds, THE ANIMANIAC… AAAAAARRRRRCCCCCHHHHHHIIIIIIMMMMMMMMEEEEEEDDDDDDDEEEEESESSSSSSS J. MMMMMMAAAAANNNNNNSSSSSSOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!
(Archimedes dances out past the curtain with his Bonkers-zoka on his shoulder.)
Stew-O: And the… ahem his royal Travesty, the clown prince of Dynasty making his way to the ring, and as you can tell by the reaction he’s getting, Archimedes is one of the most divisive EAW Elitist in history, heck I hardly know what to make of him myself.
Jake Mercer: same here, he’s like Dane Cook circa 2009, after everything is said and done you still have no idea if you like him or not.
Flannery McCoy: well whatever we might think of him, you know that Archimedes is out to make a memorable appearance and “entertain” the fans.
(Manson enters the ring and continues dancing till his music cuts out and is replaced with “One Woman Army” by Porcelain Black. )
Stephie Love: and their opponents, Introducing first from Venice Beach, California, Weighing In at 180 pounds, THE ONE WOMAN ARMY… HHHHHEEEEELLLLLLLEEEENNNNNAAAA MMMMMMEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIMMMMMAAAAAANNNNNN!!!
Stew-O: a woman who isn’t afraid, won’t back down, and even loves a good fight, that sums up Helena perfectly! And by the looks of things The One Woman Is more than ready to kick some ass and take a few names!
Jake Mercer: yeah we’ll be that as it may, she better recognize that she’s in the ring with two opponents who want nothing more than to make a name for themselves in EAW wether by hook or by crook!
Flannery McCoy: oh I think she’s well aware of that, I just hope that neither Archimedes or Gambino think she’s gonna go easy on them just because their boys.
(Helena enters the ring. The referee stands between her and the opposing team, not allowing a double team to take place before the bell rings. After a few seconds of taunting from both sides “Bad Decisions” by Demi Lovato and Ariana Grande starts up.)
Stephie Love: and her partner, from Lashing, Michigan, weighing in at 122 pounds, THE MILF HOTTIE… LLLLLLLIIIIIIIINNNNNDDDDDSSSSSSEEEEYYYYYY KKKKKKKIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGSSSSSLLLLLLLEEEEEEEYYYYYYT!!!!
(The crowd cheers as Kingsley steps out onto the stage.)
Stew-O: Lindsey Kingsley getting quite the warm reception from the EAW Universe, and she is soaking it up! She’ll definitely want to feed off the energy from this crowd to try and turn things around from last week when she came up short in her match against Darcy May Morgan.
Jake (Leering): I’d like to turn her around.
Flannery McCoy: WHAT?!
Jake Mercer: Huh? Did someone say something?
Flannery McCoy: Pig. Anyways, Lindsey definitely doesn’t have to look far to get some motivation and encouragement from the crowd here tonight!
(Kingsley enters the ring, after a moment her music fades and the referee calls for the bell.)
Stew-O: this one underway here as we have Helena Merriman starting things off against Archimedes Mason! Lock up her in the center of the ring, Archimedes using his weight advantage to drive Helena back towards the corner, OW! Helena using his own momentum against him and drops down to the mat sending Manson Face first into the middle turnbuckle! Manson getting back to his feet, Merriman there to meet him with a high kick that lands square in the chest! Archimedes knocked back into the corner, Lindsey not done yet as she charges in… and connects with a high knee! The point of the knee landing square on the jaw of Manson who stumbles out of the corner and get taken down to the canvas with a headscissors takedown! What a move by Merriman
Jake Mercer: Helena keeling that Head scissor locked In, Archimedes having a bit of trouble getting out of it, Merriman still keeping that hold as she is reaching out for the tag… and she gets it! In comes Kingsley who drops the elbow right to the heart of Archimedes! Helena Rolling out of the ring as Kingsley pick Manson off the mat by the hair, Irish whip by Kingsley, Manson reverses, AND WOAH KINGSLEY WITH A HANDSPRING BACK ELBOW!! She must have been a cheerleader in her day the way she used the ropes to backflip like that! I wonder if she still has the old uniform and might try it on one day…
Flannery (giving death eyes to Jake): will you focus on the match?!
Jake Mercer: The what?! Oh, you’re right! This reminds me of an intergender tag team match back at Kingdom Wrestling Fed-
Flannery McCoy: *sigh* Anyways Manson is down on the canvas, Kingsley climbs to the top rope, could be looking to put it away early! WWWWEEEEEEE CCCCCCAAAA- OH GAMBINO SHOVES HER OFF THE ROPES FROM BEHIND! The official scolding Gambino as both Kingsley and Manson get back to their feet, And Archimedes with a kick to the back! Kingsley hung up between the middle and top ropes, OH AND COME ON NOW! ARCHIMEDES REACHING OVER THE TOP AND DAMN NEAR PULLING HER HAIR OUT! Kingsley’s spine being stretched in an unnatural position against the ropes! Kingsley screaming in pain And now the ref finally turning his attention back to the match!
Stew-O: Archimedes immediately releases as the referee begins his count, Lindsey able to get herself free from the ropes but Manson waiting for her and lands a kick to the gut! Manson sets Kingsley, and lands the swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker! Archimedes quickly into the cover!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!!! TTTTTWWWWWWOOOOO!!!
Jake Mercer: Lindsey kicking out! Lindsey on the mat trying to crawl over to to the corner to make the tag, but Manson grabbing her by the ankle, Lindsey trying to wriggle free but it’s to no avail, Manson has both legs hooked now as he takes Kingsley up, and brings her down hard with the wheelbarrow facebuster! Manson with another cover!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!!! TTTTTWWWWWOOOOOOOO!!! KICKOUT!!
Flannery McCoy: again Kingsley gets the shoulder up! Manson picking her up off the mat, again pulling her by the hair, and shoots her into the corner! Manson tagging out now to Gambino who lands several hard kicks to the midsection! Gambino now with control of the wrist, And wow what a short arm lariat that nearly took Kingsley’s head off! Bambino skipping the cover and stays on the attack with a knee drop to the head!
Stew-O: quick tag made to Archimedes Manson, and Manson now scaling the ropes… LOL-BOW!!! THE ROPE WALK ELBOW LANDS RIGHT TO THE HEART OF LINDSEY KINGSLEY!!! Archimedes with a cover!
Ref: ONNNNNNEEEEEE! TTTTTTTWWWWWOOOOOOO!!!!! KICKOUT!!!
Jake Mercer: Archimedes visibly upset at that kick out as he makes the tag to Gambino, smart strategy to keep tagging in and out, keeping themselves fresh! Kingsley’s back to her feet, Gambino setting her up, vertical Suplex! But Lindsey blocks it! Small package!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!!! TTTTTWWWWWOOOOO!!!!
Flannery McCoy: Mike kicking out of that one! Both competitors back to their feet, Gambino charges in, and gets met with a kick to the gut, and gets his head driven into the mat with a snap ddt! Lindsey trying to make it towards her corner, Helena reaching out but she’s more than halfway across the ring, in comes Archimedes and he lands with a stomp to the back! Lindsey clutching at her spine, AND ARCHIMEDES AGAIN WITH A HANDFUL OF HAIR AS HE DRAGS HER BACK TOWARDS HIS OWN CORNER!
Stew-O: Gambino back to his feet, and without much struggle props Lindsey Kingsley right on her feet, and sends her flying with an overhead belly to belly Suplex! Lindsey motionless, Gambino sprinting toward the ropes… LIONSAULT!!!! What an incredible move! This has got to be it!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!!! TTTTWWWWWOOOOO!!!! TTTTTHHHHHRRRR-KICKOUT!
Jake Mercer: What a kickout there, Gambino unhappy but undeterred as he picks Kingsley’s off the mat, Lindsey doubled over, Gambino sets her up quickly and lifts her for a powerbomb… but Kingsley’s fighting back whilst atop Gambino’s shoulders with a flurry of Right hands to the skull! Gambino wobbling, and Lindsey sends him chest first into the turnbuckles with a hurricanrana! Gambino tangled up in the corner as Manson tags himself in, Lindsey halfway to making a much needed tag but all the punishment she has suffered has slowed her down considerably allowing Archimedes to cut her off from her corner once again!
Flannery McCoy: Manson with a double ax handle that connected to the back of the head! Lindsey being dragged up off the canvas, and Manson lands with a hadouken punch! And what a combo as he wastes no momentum and lands flush with the discus elbow right to the jaw! Kingsley knocked down from that one! Manson taking a moment to free his partner from turnbuckles. Gambino slumped down in the corner as Archimedes dances and shuffles his feet while motioning for Kingsley to stand! Lindsey slow to her feet, Manson has her in his sights… JK!!! JUST KIDDING!!! BUT KINGSLEY DUCKS UNDERNEATH! Archimedes turning back to face Lindsey, And catches a roundhouse kick to the teeth!
Stew-O: Archimedes still standing but it’s clear from his spaghetti legs that he has no clue where he is right now thanks to that kick! But look out Gambino sprinting out of the corner… SPEAR-MATRIX EVASION!!!!!!! KINGSLEY DODGING A BULLET THERE AND INSTEAD ITS ARCHIMEDES MANSON WHO GETS HIT WITH THAT SPLITTING SPEAR TO THE MIDSECTION!!! A bit of miscommunication there for sure as Gambino is almost beside himself as he realizes who he just hit! Running facebuster!! Lindsey taking advantage of that moment where Gambino wasn’t looking!
Jake Mercer: and now Helena Merriman along with this capacity crowd trying to will her partner over to the corner to make the tag!
Crowd: CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
Jake Mercer: Lindsey dragging herself across the mat, Helena reaches out, Archimedes trying to grab Kingsley’s ankle…. KINGSLEY LEAPS AND MAKES THE TAG!!! Merriman enters the ring as Archimedes goes for a clothesline, but Helena Ducks It and lands a German Suplex! Gambino charges with a lariat of his own, MERRI-GO ROUND!! THAT DEEP SIX JUST PLANTED GAMBINO INTO THE MAT!
Flannery McCoy: Gambino rolling out of the ring under the bottom rope, HEY WAIT! ARCHIMEDES WITH THE SCHOOL BOY WEDGIE ROLL UP!!! SHOULDERS ARE DOWN!!!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTTTWWWWWWOOOOOOOO!!!! TTTTHHHHHHRRRRRRREEEEEEE-
Flannery McCoy: Kingsley breaks up the pin at the last possible second! Archimedes to his knees, but Kingsley’s waiting for him and grabs him by the hair! Manson screams from pain flailing his arms to get free! Lindsey with both hands now firmly at the roots as hits a hair swing toss! Lindsey looking like an Olympic shot put as Archimedes tries desperately to follow wherever she leads! Lindsey releases her grip sending Manson dizzily spinning around the ring, AND RIGHT INTO THE SPINNING WHEEL KICK!!!! HELENA UNLEASHING THAT KICK WITH BAD INTENTIONS AS IT LANDS RIGHT TO THE SKULL!!!
Stew-O: Manson down, Kingsley up to the top rope… WWWWEEEEE CCCCCAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN DDDDDDDOOOOOOO IIIIITTTTTTT!!!! NO!!! MANSON GETS HIS KNEES UP!! KINGSLEY CLUTCHES HER RIBS, SHE IS IN SEVERE PAIN! KINGSLEY ROLLS OFF MANSON’S KNEES AS MANSON SLOWLY MAKES HIS WAY TO HIS OWN FEET!
Flannery McCoy: Manson is up but woozy…Kingsley slowly gets up but her back is to Archimedes…Archi spins her around…lifts her on his shoulders…THE KILLING JOKE!!! FIREMAN’S CARRY IN TO THE CUTTER CONNECTS! THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!!! TTTWWWWWOOOOOOOO!!!! TTTTHHHHHHRRRRREEEEEEEE!!!!
DING! DING DING!!!
Jake Mercer: My goodness!
(“Applause” by Lady Gaga plays as fans are sick and booing at Archimedes and Gambino’s win. )
Stephie Love: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS, ARCHIMEDES J. MAAAAAANSON…AAAAAND MIKE GAMBINOOOO!!!
Stew-O: Kingsley tried but maybe if she tried a little harder, who knows where this match ends for her and her partner?
Flannery McCoy: Gutsy performance for Archimedes and his partner Mike Gambino. They may or may not be a future tag team but they worked together tonight and got the win!
Jake Mercer: They were looking good but you know who needs to take notes? LC and Darkane! They won’t be facing a makeshift team like Kingsley and Merriman! They will be taking on The Valkyrie!
(The scene fades from showing Manson and Gambino getting their hands raised to another part of the building. We open up backstage as Michael Belfort is seen standing with all three members of Fatal Destiny.)
Michael Belfort: Ladies and gentlemen, I am standing here with Miho Li, Karina-Ann, and Celes Dumont. I present to you. all three members of Fatal Destiny! How are you girls this week?
Karina-Ann: Girls? Watch your mouth. We are three women, three tough and undeniable women.
Miho-Li: Facts. You saw what me and my cousin Celes did to those loud mouth, roid heads Jason and Ronan last week. Easy win. Those two couldn’t co-exist and it’s clear they may never co-exist. But, despite what our records may say or what people may think…Fatal Destiny is here for the long haul. Since Empire, we’ve been together and riding for each other and nothing is going to change that.
Karina-Ann: Exactly. We are tired of being the jokes around here. We are sick of people looking at us as if we aren’t talented or aren’t skilled. Miho, Celes, and I are ready to take our fate in our hands and start fucking shit up around here.
Celes Dumont: I could not have said it better myself!
Michael Belfort: I see, I see. You guys started off this season so far trying to recruit Osamu Arcichida into Fatal Destiny and were rebuffed that very night. You guys have been spit on by him and his poison mist over and over and it looks like he will never become a member of your group. How do you feel about Osamu after everything that has transpired?
Celes Dumont: That clown has spit in our faces literally and figuratively. The disrespect he has shown us will not be forgotten and it will not be forgiven. I had a major concussion and he tried to take advantage of my impared state of being. I could have had my career ended by that idiot and he will pay for that. Plus, he’s stolen wins over Miho and Karina definitely wants to send him a message of her own as well.
Karina-Ann: A painful message at that!
Miho-Li: Hell yes!
Michael Belfort: You three also had issues with Vic Venom and especially with the newest tag team formation on Friday Night Dynasty, The Valkyrie. This new group formed by Darcy May Morgan and Remi Skyfire took pride in giving Celes Dumont a serious concussion that had her sidelined briefly after a devastating brain buster. What says you of these two ladies and Vic Venom?
Miho-Li: Vic…he’s a bitch, first off. But, he’s not of our concern. Far as we are expecting, Drake King is going to take him out just like Drake did Cage a few weeks ago in their street fight at Operation: Doomsday. As far as this new team, Valkyrie, are concerned…We aren’t allowing those two broads or Osamu to get away with this constant disrespect any longer!
Celes Dumont: Exactly! You two lesbians took pride in giving me a concussion? Great! Fatal Destiny will take so much pride in beating you two and Osamu Arcichida at Operation: Doomsday!
Karina-Ann: You three vs us three, six person tag team match, at Operation: Doomsday! We have had enough of the disrespect and the bullshit you three have brought to the Fatal Destiny name and we are going to make sure you two sluts and that failed musician get what’s coming to you.
Michael Belfort: Wow, that sounds like a tough challenge! Former National Elite champion Osamu alongside the hottest new tag team in EAW in The Valkyrie!
Celes Dumont: It’s not REALLY a challenge…it’s a threat that will be assured next week when we give Remi Skyfire and her little girlfriend a concussion that will make mine look like a walk in the park.
Karina-Ann: They want to form a team as if they can hold a candle to us three when we are at the top of our game? That’s the funniest thing I may have ever heard!
Miho-Li: Remi Skyfire hasn’t been shit in a long time. Darcy May has gotten by so far based off pure luck and the fact her partner has a schoolgirl crush on her and can’t leave that pussy alone.
Celes Dumont: That Korey Gaines syndrome, Remi clearly is swooning for DMM. But, both of them can take this weird, cougar/cub love affair in to the ICU as they hold hands and get wheeled in together. We are not to be trifled with and at Operation: Doomsday, Fatal Destiny will make this abundantly clear!
Miho-Li: That, you can bet your ass on, Michael! We’re gonna go Super Sayian over these sluts.
Karina-Ann: See you three soon. REAL soon.
(Fatal Destiny brush past Belfort as Mike gets shoulder checked by Karina-Ann.)
Stew-O: WHAT A CHALLENGE!
Flannery McCoy: Hate them or love them, Fatal Destiny want a fight and they just might get it! Osamu and The Valkyrie against the three members of Fatal Destiny at Operation: Doomsday? Who wouldn’t want to see that?!
Jake Mercer: My little waifu Miho is angry, very angry! I am one happy weeb right now, guys!
Stew-O: Welp, that’s some information.
Jake Mercer: Oh, and the Dropkick Darling isn’t going to disappoint at all!
Flannery McCoy: Yeah, but what was that weeb thing you just mentioned?
Jake Mercer: Huh? Come again?
(We cut back to ringside as we see Stephie Love waving at a few fans by the barricade before speaking.)
Stephie Love: The following contest is set for one fall, and is a triple threat match!
(‘Come Together’ by Gary Clark & Junkie XL plays as Frankie Paradise makes his way onto the stage with a swagger that would make you think he is the reigning World champion.)
Jake Mercer: Better watch yourself, McCoy, there are reports that back when he was in the indies Frankie could impregnate women with just a handshake!
Flannery McCoy: Please, Jake, I took maternity leave once because I was in the same room as Diamond Cage, it was a false alarm, but still…
Jake Mercer:…Wait, what?
Flannery McCoy: Nothing, shutup.
Stephie Love: Introducing first, from Los Angeles California, weighing in at 225 pounds, Frankie Paradise! Introducing his first opponent…
(‘Devil’ by Shinedown plays as Jason McKormick makes his way to the ring, eyes locked on Frankie who is doing everything he can to get Stephies attention.)
Stew-O: A cornerstone of Dynasty over the past couple seasons, Jason is out to prove to both these newcomers that he’s still someone to watchout for!
Flannery McCoy: Well, even if he isn’t, that hair certainly is! Someone needs to tell him you don’t use the entire bottle of product when you style…
Stephie Love: From Jackson, Michigan, weighing in at pounds…Jason McKormick!
(There is a mixed reaction as McKormick is introduced, he plays to the crowd slightly, but remains focused.)
Stephie Love: Introducing the final participant of the match…
(‘El Diablo’ by MGK begins playing as Justin Windgate runs through the curtains full of energy, he plays to the crowd a bit before making his way to the ring.)
Flannery McCoy: Justin Windgate looking to let everyone know he hasn’t lost a step in his extended layoff, this guy can do it all, moonsaults, shooting star presses…
Jake Mercer: Oh, please. I once saw a guy do a quadruple rotation moonsault legdrop. Can Justin do that?
Flannery McCoy: N-no, not on a planet with things like gravity…or physics. You know, if you have all this great wrestling squirreled away somewhere, maybe you should share it with us sometime, let everyone enjoy it?
Jake Mercer: OH! You’d just love that, wouldn’t you?!
Stephie Love: Introducing the final competitor, from Detroit Michigan, weighing in at 225
Pounds, Justin Windgate!
(The crowd cheers as Justin climbs the turnbuckle with his arms raised.)
Stew-O: Well, Justin is certainly winning the crowd over so far, looks like Stephie is exiting the ring as the official…
Jake Mercer: They have names, Stew!
Stew-O: Oh, what is this one’s name?
Jake Mercer: Don’t put your hypocrisy on me!
(DING DING DING!)
Stew-O: Justin Windgate, like a superball, explodes out of the corner and lands a running headscissors takedown on Frankie Paradise, who was distracted, it seems by Stephie. No time for Justin to follow up, though, Jason McKormick immediately closes on him and begins pummeling forearm blows to the head and back of his fellow Michigan native!
Flannery McCoy: Homestate allegiances won’t matter here tonight, Jason is out for blood! Justin is doing his best to cover up, but ultimately it’s Frankie who saves him with a running shoulder tackle, breaking McKormick away. Frankie lands a big right hand to the jaw of Jason, driving him back toward the corner. Jason fires back, though, with a shot of his own, and catches Paradise in a headlock, looks like he might be going for the takedown with it, but Frankie is doing his best to stop this by giving himself a wide base.
Stew-O: He wasn’t counting on Justin, though! Windgate lands a running dropkick that sends Paradise and McKormick crashing to the mat! McKormick recovers just a second before Frankie and manages to dodge out of the way as Justin was looking to land a senton on both men! Instead, Frankie takes the full force of the attack, having the wind driven from his body! McKormick is still playing it smart, though, and meets Justin as he regains his footing with a kick to the gut followed by a quick ddt, leaving Wondgate laid out! Jason is looking to take early control here tonight!
(Jason leans over the fallen Justin Windgate and points to his own chest in anger.)
Jason McKormick (off-Mic) – This is my ring!
Flannery McCoy: Jason looking to make a statement, but look out! Frankie Paradise from behind brings a halt to Jason’s momentum for the time being, and drops Jason to the mat with a snapmare takedown, followed by a harsh kick to the back! Frankie hits the ropes…basement dropkick to McKormick! Frankie bringing it to Jason here!
Jake Mercer: Careful, Flannery, if Frankie hears he might take you to Paradise…
Flannery McCoy: Would you stop?
Stew-O: Frankie turns his attention to Windgate who is still shaking off the effects of the ddt from McKormick. Paradise, perhaps sensing that Justin is still off balance, takes on a boxers stance and begins unloading on Justin! Windgate tries is stunned from the rapid lefts and rights from Frankie…Jumping Bionic Elbow from Frankie, and Justin is back to the mat!
Flannery McCoy: Jason McKormick is back on his feet and looks to be stalking Frankie…loot out! The Legacy…NO! Frankie avoided the superkick! Jason was looking to end things with a surprise attack, but Frankie was just too fast! FRANKIE-STEINER! Paradise lands the standing hurricanrana! McKormick lands hard on the mat and Frankie quickly goes for the pin!
Referee: ONE! TWO!
Stew-O: Broken up by Justin! WIndgate still has something in the tank! McKormick manages to roll away as Justin takes Frankie by the arm and whips him to the ropes…dropdown from Justin, sending Frankie running past, but when he tries to leapfrog over the rebound Frankie catches him and lands a manhattan drop! That’s gonna hurt in the morning! Frankis climbs to the middle turnbuckle, what could he be thinking here?
Flannery McCoy: HIGH DEFINITION! Frankie lands the diving reverse STO just as Wndgate regained his footing! Justin is out! Frankie pulls his opponent back to his feet via a front facelock, could be looking to end things here…YES, El PARADISO! Justin Windgate fell victim to the vicious brainbuster and all Frankie has to do is pin him…THE LEGACY! JASON MCKORMICK! The Superkick lands flush to the jaw of Frankie, sending him tumbling back into the corner as Jason makes the pin on Windgate!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!
(DING DING DING!)
Stew-O: Jason McKormick stole the win from Frankie Paradise here tonight, but regardless, it’s his arm being raised by the official now!
(‘Devil’ by Shinedown begins to play as Jason raises his arms in victory)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by pinfall…The Psycho…JAAAAAASSSSSOOOOOONNNNNNNN MMMMCCCCCKKKKKOOOOORRRRRMMMMMIIIIIICCCCCKKKK!!!!
Stew-O: Like it or not, McKormick takes home victory over to capable opponents!
Flannery McCoy: He May not be challenging for a title at Doomsday but maybe he can build off this and get back in to prominence here on Dynasty!
(We fade away as Jason celebrates in the ring. We open up at a vending machine as StarrStan is seen putting money in to it and choosing a diet Coke. The soda gets stuck as Starr is visibly frustrated. StarrStan slaps the side of the machine, nothing happens. Starr slaps it again, nothing changes. Starr begins rocking the machine over and over until.)
BOOM!
(StarrStan shutters as he is shocked and surprised at the loud voice. In walks Landerson.)
Crowd: LAN-DER-SON! LAN-DER-SON! LAN-DER-SON!
StarrStan: My god, Landerson! Jesus, you scared me right there! You can’t sneak up on me and just yell
El Landerson: Boom!
StarrStan: Yea…yeah, that! Man! I was half way expecting that lunatic Eric Havoc or his creepy little girlfriend to run up with a sledgehammer and just do me in! Glad it’s you, honestly! What can I do for you, pal?
El Landerson: I want to team with Consuela Ava Ella Rose and win the tag team titles of EAW at Operation: Doomsday StarrStan.
StarrStan: I-I’m sorry. I don’t think I am capable of booking something like that, buddy. I know you are the greatest luchador ever but cross brand matches are kind of hard to manage at such short notice.
El Landerson: What about I tag team with Ms Extreme and we face Heavenly Hell at Operation: Doomsday and we wrestled for their EAW World Tag Team championship at Operation Doomsday. That is what I want StarrStan.
StarrStan: Um…again. It’s kind of short notice to mesh together a cross brand team with no experience to face a very experienced and talented tag team like Heavenly Hell at such short notice. Plus, Ms Extreme has a huge match at Bloodsport this weekend. I don’t know if it’d be fair to force her to wrestle this weekend on FPV and follow it up with a tag championship match next week at Doomsday?
El Landerson: Mr StarrStan
(Starr taps the vending machine again as his soda doesn’t move.)
StarrStan: Yes…El…Lan…Der…jesus christ! I can’t get this soda out at all!
El Landerson: Mr StarrStan
StarrStan: I just want my diet Coke, man. This job is way more stressful than it needs to be an
(BOOM! Landerson taps the machine with a flick of his finger and the soda drops immediately. StarrStan’s jaw is ajar.)
StarrStan: God, you really are the goat! Thank you, Landerson!
El Landerson: Add me to Kassidy Heart vs Serena Bennett for the EAW Unified Women’s World Championship match and or add me to Lethal Consequences vs Impact for the EAW World Heavyweight Championship at Operation: Doomsday and we can call this even for me getting you the soda pop you asked for. Deal.
StarrStan: Um, ok.
El Landerson: Really? Yes. I am excited to compete
StarrStan: Wait! NO! I can’t do that either! I appreciate the help though! How about this…you will have a match at Operation: Doomsday, okay? An important match with implications!
El Landerson: What kind of implications?
StarrStan: BIG Implications! Cool?
El Landerson: What kind of implications?
StarrStan: Um, I can’t just tell you the
El Landerson: What kind of implications?
StarrStan: I love you, Landerson. I-I gotta go. Just be ready, we all need you to bring that boom to Operation: Doomsday!
(We see StarrStan pat Landerson on the back as he walks out of the scene.)
El Landerson: What kind of implications?
(The scene fades out. We see a small commercial bring for Kassidy Heart’s new denim line with Fashion Nova. For curves so Ultraviolent, they will make you want to staple your hand to her ass. Wild tagline. We return to Dynasty as Stephie Love raises the mic to her lips.)
Stephie Love: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first…
(‘Architects’ by Rise Against plays and Eric Havoc, accompanied by his girlfriend Tara Celeci, begins making his way to the ring through a chorus of boos. The camera pans to a sign that reads ‘Suspend Eric Havoc.’)
Stephie Love: Weighing in at 220 pounds, hailing from Jacksonville, Florida, he is ‘THE ONE’ — ERRRRICCCCC HAVOOOCCCCCC!!!!
Flannery McCoy: The past few weeks, we’ve seen some odd conflicts between Eric Havoc and Dynasty GM StarrStan. Last week, after Provençal defeated Landerson in a ‘winner takes all match’, Eric Havoc attacked and made some demands and tonight he’ll get an opportunity to take … ‘all’ … from Provençal.
Jake Mercer: Yeah, I’m starting to think this Eric Havoc guy might have a point. I mean, what is this ‘all’? What are they fighting for? Why is it a mystery?!
Stew-O: :lupe:
Stephie Love: AND HIS OPPONENT …
(‘La Marmelade de Ma Grand Mère’ by Florent Caubien begins to play and Provençal comes out to the entrance ramp to cheers from the crowd, happy to see him. He bowed for the crowd before beginning to make his way to the ring.)
Stew-O: Folks, last week we saw Provençal take on Landerson in a classic Dynasty match and he — at least in my opinion — is being offered up to Eric Havoc rather unfairly here. I mean, he already won the ‘winner takes all match’ against Landerson. Part two seems rather unfair.
Jake Mercer: StarrStan believes in equal opportunity and Eric Havoc has earned a shot here tonight.
Flannery McCoy: What the hell are you talking about?
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Jake Mercer: Nonetheless, we are underway here! Eric Havoc, right out of the gate, charges toward Provençal… but he ducks. Havoc bounces off the ropes and goes for a lariat, but Provençal leaps right over him! What athleticism from the Frechman! Did you know, when wrestling in France, many-
Flannery McCoy: We ain’t got time for that! Look out, Eric Havoc just bounced back with a huge drop kick to Provençal, knocking him to the ground. Havoc pounces on top of Provençal and is now delivering a series of ground and pound blows to the funny-man. Vicious blow after vicious blow! Watch out, Havoc hooks the leg early!
ONE!!!!!
Stew-O: Quick kick-out by Provençal, this thing is far from over. Havoc understands this and grabs Provençal by his red hair, shooting him over into the corner turnbuckle. Havoc is now delivering several boots to the abdomen of Provençal, stomping a hole right through him. It looks like Havoc’s strategy early on here is to deliver as much damage as possible.
Flannery McCoy: We know this nutter butter wants nothing more than to destroy the ‘comedy acts’ in EAW and he believes Provençal to be one of the worst offenders. Provençal is now sitting down in the corner, trying to recover from those kicks, but Havoc is now positioned on the opposite side of the ring. He’s signaling for Provençal to get up… it looks like he’s measuring him up here! WATCH OUT!
Jake Mercer: OH MY GOD!! Eric Havoc just went for a huge spear on Provençal, but he was able to get out of the way just in the nick of time, and Havoc just drove his shoulder into the corner turnbuckle with a huge thud. Havoc seems to be stuck in that corner, his shoulder could very well be broken here. Provençal isn’t waiting time here, though, he has placed his arms around the waist of Havoc… GERMAN SUPLEXXXX!
Flannery McCoy: NOPE! HAVOC COUNTERS BY FLIPPiNG OVER THE HEAD OF THE UNVICTORIOUS ONE! Havoc immediately goes for a lariat, but Provençal catches it and ducks! Havoc charges toward Provençal once again…. NO!!!! THE BON APPETIT! POP-UP EUROPEAN UPPERCUT FROM PROVENCAL! AND THE COVER!
ONEEE!!!!!!!
TWOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: A huge kickoff from Eric Havoc saves him from the grips of defeat and Provençal looks impressed that Havoc was able to find himself a way out of that pinfall. Wait, what’s this? Tara Celeci is on the ring apron and she is screaming at Provençal. The referee here is telling Tara to get off the apron, but she isn’t listening. Provençal walks over to try and talk Tara down… BUT SHE SLAPS HIM! AND LOOK OUT, HAVOC IS BACK TO HIS FEET! CHAOS IMPACT-
Jake Mercer: NO!!! Provençal is able to block the jumping cutter and he sends Havoc flying toward the ropes. Havoc bounces back… SPEAR! A HUGE SPEAR CONNECTS TO PROVENCAL AND HE WASN’T READY AT ALL FOR THAT ONE!
Flannery McCoy: Yeah, Jake, but look at this. Havoc’s shoulder was hurt from that earlier spear attempt and he isn’t able to take advantage and make the quick cover here. Havoc is crawling with one arm to try and cover Provençal… he finally makes it! Could it be over?!
ONEEEE!!!!!
TWOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: NO! NO! Provençal kicks out again and Tara on the outside is absolutely livid, screaming her lungs off, she thought Havoc had just won the winner take all match. She knows how important this match is!
Jake Mercer: She does?! How come we don’t?!
Flannery McCoy: The crowd is getting into this match. They’re stomping their feet, urging Provençal to get to his feet before Eric Havoc is back to his vertical base. Both men are making their way to their feet… Havoc is on his! Provençal is on his! SUPPPPERRRRR KICKKKKK!!! Havoc just connected with a huge super-kick to Provençal, and he falls on top of him for the cover! This has to be it!
ONEEEEE!!!!!!!
TWOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Provençal stays in this once again! Havoc needs to do more damage to this man if he wants to walk away with it all tonight and so far, he hasn’t gotten the job done. Look at this crazy woman on the outside, pounding on the mat, furious that Havoc hasn’t put this away yet.
Jake Mercer: At least she knows her place is on the outside…
Flannery McCoy: There’s been a few points in this match that Provençal has had the upper hand, but so far, Eric Havoc has been delivering a lot of punishment. Havoc is now back to his feet and he grabs Provençal by his hair again. Havoc is dragging Provençal to his feet. FALCON ARROW! FALCON ARROW! AND WAIT, HAVOC ISN’T DONE! HE LOCKS ON THE CHAOS-LOCK! PROVENCAL IS SCREAMING IN PAIN. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
Jake Mercer: This could be over! He’s wrenching on the chaos-lock! It looks like Provençal is gonna tap out! You know, a famous Japanese wrestler used this maneuver to win many, many matches in the famous Tokyo-
Stew-O: Look at this, Provençal is actually making his way toward the ropes. He might make it! HE’S CRAWLING AS FAST AS HE CAN TO TRY AND BREAK THIS HOLD!
Flannery McCoy: NO! TARA IS PULLING THAT BOTTOM ROPE OUT TO TRY AND ENSURE PROVENCAL DOESN’T BREAK THIS HOLD… BUT THE REFEREE IS ADMONISHING HER! HAVOC IS WRENCHING AS HARD AS HE CAN TO END THIS MATCH, HE IS DESPERATE TO END IT IN ANY WAY HE CAN!
Stew-O: Tara is forced to let go of the rope!
Jake Mercer: PROVENCAL IS CRAWLING… HE MAKES IT! THE CHAOS-LOCK MUST BE BROKEN! HE HAS THE ROPE!
Flannery McCoy: Yeah, but look! Havoc isn’t releasing the hold, he’s putting as much pressure as he can on Provençal, even as he’s holding the bottom rope!
Referee: One! Two! Three! Four!
Flannery McCoy: Havoc breaks the hold before the referee can reach five, but clearly the damage is done. Oh, no, Eric Havoc is frustrated and now he’s in the referee’s face. Eric Havoc is putting his finger in the face of the referee…
Eric Havoc: (off mic) You’re on StarrStan’s payroll! I’ll sue you, you bastard! This is bullshit!
Flannery McCoy: Havoc is throwing a fit right now and Tara is on the apron screaming at the referee as well. I imagine… LOOK OUT!
Jake Mercer: LE PETIT PAQUET! SMALL PACKAGE ONTO ERIC HAVOC!!!!
ONEEE!!!!!!!!!
TWOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
THREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: HE DID IT!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Jake Mercer: Oh my god!
Stew-O: Tara is screaming on the apron, she can’t believe what she just witnessed, but Provençal has won this match and he — once again — is taking it all tonight in this part deux winner-takes-all battle and he earned all of it.
Jake Mercer: Havoc had this match won…
Flannery McCoy: Havoc turned his back, blamed StarrStan and everyone else for not being able to get the job done with the Chaos-Lock, and he paid for it. Provençal is on the outside with his hand raised and meanwhile Havoc is in the ring completely disappointed.
Stew-O: WAIT!! LOOK! TARA CELECI IS RINGSIDE HOLDING A WEAPON! SHE SLIDES IT IN TO HAVOC! IT’S A SLEDGEHAMMER! ERIC GRABS IT AND SMILES! PROVENCAL HAS HIS BACK TO ERIC! ERIC SWINGS THE WEAPON AND BAM!! TO THE BACK! SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE BACK OF PROVENCAL MY GOD! PROVY IS DOWN! THE FANS ARE FURIOUS!
???:GOD DAMN IT GOD DAMN IT!
Flannery McCoy: It’s StarrStan! He looks pissed off! Provencal is on his stomach clutching his back as Eric stands over him holding that weapon ready to strike once more!
StarrStan: SERIOUSLY! What is your problem? You attacked Provencal last week and claimed I was being unfair for giving him and Landerson a chance in that “Winner Takes All” match. Yet, you lose FAIR AND SQUARE right here, right now, and you attack him again? How dare you? I should actually suspend you for real live on TV now!
(Tara grabs a microphone and slides in the ring.)
Tara Celeci: DO IT! Do it but don’t lie and say you didn’t do it last week! We were handed a paper from the head of security that says…
StarrStan: Shut up, you don’t even work here little girl! The head of security doesn’t sit at entrances and hand out suspension papers. If EAW suspends someone, we must release a press release to let the fans know who is available to perform at any given show. So, once again, you were not suspended Eric Havoc and if you keep spreading lies about me…I may have to settle this the only way I know how!
(StarrStan begins walking down the ramp, undoing his suit as the crowd pops so loudly.)
Crowd: STARRSTAN’S GONNA KILL YOU! STARRSTAN’S GONNA KILL YOU!
StarrStan: Oh…I’m not the one to worry about, Eric! I’m just the distraction! I knew Provencal had a good chance of beating you. But, I knew you would cry like a baby and do something stupid if you blew this chance tonight. So…I am settling this at Operation: Doomsday! Provencal vs Eric Havoc…and this man!
(Eric and Tara look up the ramp but are looking at the wrong way. A man slides under the bottom rope and the building loses its fucking mind.)
Crowd: LANDERSON!!! LANDERSON!!! LANDERSON!!!!
Stew-O: LANDERSON IS HERE!!! HE IS BEHIND HAVOC!!! HE SNATCHES THE SLEDGEHAMMER AWAY! TARA FLEES! ERIC TURNS! BAM!!! LANDERSON SWINGS THE HAMMER RIGHT IN TO HAVOC’S GUT!!! HE’S LIFTED OFF THE GROUND AND LANDS FLAT ON HIS STOMACH!! ERIC ROLLS ON THE GROUND AS PROVENCAL CRAWLS TO A NEARBY CORNER! LANDERSON WINDS THE WEAPON UP AND SWINGS AT THE GROUNDED ERIC!!! BAM!!!! NO!!!
Flannery McCoy: Eric is pulled out by Tara Celeci before the hammer can slam right where his head was! Landerson stands tall as Provencal looks around to a sea of fans going nuts. Tara huddles up with her boo as StarrStan approaches them both ringside.
StarrStan: That’s right! Winner Takes all; The FINALE! Landerson vs Provencal vs Eric Havoc! Winner TAKES…ALL!!!
Stew-O: Havoc and Tara are shocked! Landerson stands tall! Provencal wins again but can he do it one last time at Operation: Doomsday?!?
Flannery McCoy: Things just got interesting! StarrStan teased like he was about to give Eric that work but he held his composure and exposed Eric Havoc’s lies about being suspended! What’s next for these three? A winner takes all match at Operation: Doomsday!!!
(We fade away from Landerson being the most over superstar in the company and away from this iconic moment. We cut backstage as we see Ronan Malosi walking furiously towards a locker-room. He pushes the door open furiously as we see inside and find him walking straight towards someone. Ronan approaches the man with his back to him and grabs his shoulder and spins him around. It is Jason McKormick standing there, looking surprised at the sudden barging done by Malosi.)
Jason McKormick: What the fu-! What’s going on, you big asshole! I heard that crap you had to say earlier this week! You come to apologize?
Ronan Malosi: Apologize? Excuse me? You are the one that owes me a goddamn apology?
Jason McKormick: Oh yeah? For what?
Ronan Malosi: For what? For what?! You left me hanging in that tag team match last week! We could have squashed those Fatal Destiny whores in the middle of that ring if you would have put that stupid ego aside and listen to me!
Jason McKormick: Listen…listen to you? You overrated, rookie! You have some nerve to storm in here after I fought my heart out against Paradise and Windgate just to cry to me about an apology? You think I should have followed your lead? What lead? I was beating those girls up by myself and you just had to try and steal my glory. You had to steal my momentum! You are a crazy person and that says a lot coming from me!
Ronan Malosi: Really? You look at things from a slanted view! You were in there fighting two people and holding your own but you clearly couldn’t see what I saw! I saw a man tired, worn down! Those knees looked shaky and I knew I had to make a move! Blame me for getting pinned, sure. But if you were doing your job and broke that pin up, we could have kept fighting and beat those two chick clean in that ring and maybe we could have moved up the rankings and earned us a World Tag Title shot!
Jason McKormick: World tag title shot? Shut up! You are too selfish to team with and you blew that match by yourself! I can’t carry you week to week, Ronan! My back my give out!
Ronan Malosi: Carry me? Are you serious? What about when we faced The Valkyrie and you were the one eating the pin to those chicks? You JUST started taking this shit serious again and I have my first bad week since joining and you just walk away from me? You’re right…we might never get tag title shots with that type of behavior. Matter of fact, you might just end up in the emergency room with that type of response!
Jason McKormick: and who is going to be the tough guy to put me there? You? The guy Darkane beat the hell out of two weeks ago?
Ronan Malosi: You think Vic Venom’s kick to the head last month was hot shit, wait until I’m the one cracking you in the face.
Jason McKormick: You want an apology? Fine. I’m sorry…
(Jason shoulder bumps Ronan as he walks past him.)
Jason McKormick: Sorry I allowed you to hold me back this past month with your bullshit and inconsistency.
Ronan Malosi: Watch your back, bitch! You’ve pissed off the wrong motherfucker!
(Ronan is seen shaking his head as he watches Jason leave the scene.)
???: Lover’s quarrel? The honeymoon period is over? Such a shame…I guess all good things must come…
(In walks by Vic Venom, smirking ear to ear.)
Vic Venom: …And end…
(Vic shakes his head at the cheesy joke he just made.)
Vic Venom: Who’s writing this…hey! You doing ok, Ronan? You look like you lost your best friend or your dog died or your Grandma has diabetes or something. Maybe all three. I don’t know. What I do know is…if you happen to be running around backstage like a Rhino and bump into Jake Smith or Drake King…tell them I’m going to knock the little one out tonight and knock the bigger one out at Operation: Doomsday.
Ronan Malosi: Oh yeah? How about you try knocking me out right here right now?!
Vic Venom: Nah…you’re not worth it! Maybe after Operation: Doomsday, i’ll make room for a loser like you. Until then, enjoy the catering. By the way…I’d have kicked your head off the same way I kicked his off, Jason’s. He’s also twice the wrestler you are. Take that as you will, and enjoy watching me main event tonight!
(Vic gives him a wink as Ronan snarls and then smacks his hand against a nearby locker in anger at the disrespect he has been shown.)
Stew-O: I guess the emerging team of Ronan and Jason are finished.
Jake Mercer: Faneto as SOSA Henderson’s theme music eloquently put it.
(We see Stephie Love in the ring, holding court, as she clears her throat before speaking.)
Stephie Love: This next contest is scheduled for
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Stephie Love: and it is a Single’s match!
(“Sensei” by Dastik plays out walks Osamu Arcichida, to a chorus of boos. Osamu poses on top of the stage, serenading the crowd as his music plays and he mocks their hatred for him to his own delight. The stain of his poison mist is still on his face as he walks down the ramp.)
Stephie Love: Introducing first…making his way to the ring…from Osaka, Japan…weighing in at 235 pounds…HE IS THE ORCHESTRATOR…OSAAAAAMU AAAAARCICHIDA!!!!
(Osamua poses on the ramp before revealing his baton that he had hidden with him, playing the crowd like a band once more.)
Flannery McCoy: Former National Elite champion, Osamu Arcichida may not be facing Jack Ripley at Operation: Doomsday for his title like he did at Pain for Pride XII but he is got a huge match up he should be preparing for. StarrStan has officially made it apart of the card; Osamu alongside The Valkyrie will take on The trio known as Fatal Destiny as the paths all six people involved have been on converge next week on FPV!
Jake Mercer: “Oh So Bomb” Osamu is what I knew him as back in the day, he is going to have to blow up not just Fatal Destiny’s hopes of victory next week but he has to explode TLA’s chances of walking in to Doomsday with momentum as well!
Stew-O: Kind of hitting nose on the head with those bomb references, huh?
Jake Mercer: Did I? I guess I wasn’t ticking correctly…I MEAN THINKING CORRECTLY! What’s it with me seeing Osamu and thinking of bombs?
Flannery McCoy: Are you making Pearl Harbor jokes here on
Jake Mercer: OH LOOK OSAMU IN THE RING NOW SHUSH!
(Osamu enters the ring and poses. His music begins to fade earlier then he would like as he shakes his head and hops down. “Ambitionz az a ridah” blast out the public announcement system and the entire crowd erupts.)
Stephie Love: AND HIS OPPONENT…
Crowd: TLA! TLA! TLA!
(A beautiful, pearl white, 67 Impala Low Rider hops onto the stage as in the passenger seat sits Michelle McGillislutty with Steroid Dawg on her lap and TLA behind the wheel of the beautiful car.)
Stephie Love: FROM THE POON PALACE IN MIAMI, FLORIDA…WEIGHING IN AT 210 POUNDS…HE IS LA PANTERA SEXUAL…T…L..AAAAAAAA!!!
(TLA hops out of the window of the car as Michelle and Steroid Dawg reverse the car and take it back off the stage. TLA shimmies down the ramp as fans reach frantically over to touch him.)
Stew-O: Arguably the most beloved man in professional wrestling, the fun and always funny TLA has his own work cut out for him.
Flannery McCoy: a 20 pound weight disadvantage along with the looming threat of Darkane and his shovel in the air can be considered a huge threat for him now and every second until their match at Operation: Doomsday actually occurs.
Jake Mercer: Don’t skip past Osamu! Osamu would love nothing more than to spit in TLA’s face and beat him clean in that ring tonight!
(TLA slides under the bottom rope and gets up as he blows a kiss and wink at Osamu who is not amused one bit. Tupac’s voice fades out as the ref makes sure both men head to their side of the ring.)
(Ding! Ding!)
Flannery McCoy: TLA And Osamu begin circling each other in the ring. TLA shoots for a take down but Osamu wiggles away. TLA tried again and snatched and latches on to Osamu’s left leg. Osamu wiggles and struggles…but…he slips away again. TLA is now on his back, in a defensive position. His feet in there are as he slides away from Arcichida. Arcichida looks for an opening and throws a solid kick to the thigh of TLA. TLA slides back while on his back and
CRACK!
Stew-O: Another kick to TLA’s thigh by Osamu. TLA Is watching Osamu and he tries to slide away once more. KICK BY OSAMU…CAUGHT BY TLA! The MMA guard he had up works as he takes Osamu’s foot and shoved him backwards with all his might allow him time to get back to his feet. Osamu gets his balance and charges TLA…SUPERKICK…DUCK BY TLA! Osamu goes right over the luchadore and is turned around. TLA sees this…SWAG SHOT! HUGE PIMP SLAP TO THE FACE OF OSAMU! THE DISRESPECT! Osamu is hurt but more or less his pride after that. He almost looks shocked!
Flannery McCoy: The audacity of a pimp slap like that in the middle of the fight has Osamu holds his cheek.
Osamu Arcichida: You dirty Mexican piece of…
Stew-O: Osamu charged again! ANOTHER SUPERKICK THROWN…NARROWLY MISSES TLA’S FACE AS TLA MIRACULOUSLY BENDS BACKWARDS IN A WAY REMINISCENT TO
Jake Mercer: TO NEO IN THE MATRIX! KEANU REEVES IS A TREASURE AND SO IS TLA FOR THIS FLEXIBILITY!
Stew-O: I must say I agree with that! TLA bends back up right as Osamu spins around again from that failed superkick but this time he looks prepared! Osamu sees TLA and SLAPS a vicious knife edge chop to his chest! Osamu grabs the back of TLA’s head…STIFF UPPERCUT BY ARCICHIDA TO TLA! ANOTHER KNIFE EDGE CHOPPED AND HE CONTINUES IN FLUID MOTION BY GRABBING THE BACK OF HIS HEAD AGAIN! STIFF UPPER CUT! SIDE KICK TO THE GUT BY OSAMU BENDS TLA FORWARD! Osamu drops down…UPPERCUT…NO! TLA LIFTS HIS HEAD UP AND AVOIDS THE PUNCH! OSAMU IS ON THE GROUND WITH HIS FIST IN THE AIR, TLA COCKS HIS HAND BACK…SWAG SHOT AGAIN RIGHT TO THE FACE BY TLA! OH MY!
Flannery McCoy: Another pimp slap from TLA to Osamu has Osamu holding his other cheek staring at TLA like he sees red! TLA smirks, shrugs his shoulders, and mocks Osamu’s face getting slapped by mimicking the slappings in front of him! Osamu OH MY! Arcichida hops off the mat and leaps in the air…DROPKICK TO THE JAW OF TLA SENDS HIM DOWN ON THE MAT HARD!
Stew-O: Beautiful dropkick by Arcichida and he has had enough of TLA slapping and mocking him tonight! Osamu gets to his feet, waiting for TLA to move. TLA is a little shocked by that quickly executed kick but manages to get to his hands and knees. TLA pushes off the mat and runs up and on to his feet as he charges…NO! DROPKICK TO THE KNEES BY OSAMU DROPS TLA RIGHT…BACK…DOWN!
Flannery McCoy: TLA IS CLUTCHING THAT LEFT KNEE AS OSAMU SEES THIS! Osamu manages to get behind TLA as La Pantera Sexual limps to get to his feet. Arcichida is behind TLA…he charges…arms around his body…GERMAN SUP-NO!
Stew-O: TLA FLIPS OVER AND ABOVE OSAMU’S HEAD, LANDING AWKWARDLY ON THAT KNEE! TLA hops on his good leg as Osamu turns around and targets that one now…BASEMENT DROP KICK…NO!!!! TLA HOPS RIGHT ABOVE THE DROPKICK AND OVER OSAMU WHO IS NOW ON THE MAT! TLA turns and rubs his knee and shrugs off the pain as Osamu quickly gets off his back and attacks again. Osamu charges but TLA side steps him. Osamu runs to the ropes and bounces off…TLA side steps him again. Osamu runs to the ropes once more, TLA…SIDE STEPS HIM AGAIN! Osamu runs to the ropes one more time, he charges…TLA HOPS OVER HIM…Arcichida bounces off the ropes once again and TLA…HURRICANRANA!!! FLIPPING OSAMU ON TO HIS UPPER BACK AND TLA HOOKS HIS LEGS IN ONE SMOOTH MOTION!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!
TWO!!!!!
NO!!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: Kick out at two! Osamu was not ready to be put down but solid move by TLA. The crowd is roaring at this man’s athleticism and natural ability!
Crowd: TLA!! TLA!!! TLA!!! TLA!!! TLA!!!
Stew-O: TLA and Osamu both get to their feet following that counter into a pin attempt. TLA charges Osamu and WOW!!!
Jake Mercer: THE BEST NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX IN THE BUSINESS BY OSAMU ARCICHIDA! OUT OF NOWHERE! HE HITS THE NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX AND BRIDGES IT FOR HIS OWN COVER!
Ref: ONE!!!
TWO!!!
NO!!!!
Stew-O: Kick out at the last second by TLA! But that could have been it! Osamu has won several big matches with that perfectly completed Northern Lights suplex and he almost did again right here! TLA pushes Osamu off at the second count and both men get to their feet again. TLA runs and VERY MEXICAN UPPERCUT SNAPS OSAMU’S HEAD BACKWARDS! TLA hits the european uppercut and nearly takes Arcichida’s head clean off! TLA takes off from the ring mat and wraps his legs around his head…HEADSCISSORS TAKE-NOOOOO!!!!! MY GOODNESS!!!
Jake Mercer: IMPOSSIBLE! OSAMU REVERSES THE HEADSCISSORS IN TO AN OSAMU LOCK! INVERTED ROLLING KNEE BAR! HE LOCKS IT RIGHT IN! TLA IS IN MASSIVE PAIN RIGHT NOW!
Flannery McCoy: WAIT…TLA IS FIGHTING IT! THAT’S THE KNEE OSAMU HIT WITH A DROPKICK BEFORE BUT…TLA IS FIGHTING WITH ALL HIS MIGHT! OSAMU IS TRYING TO KEEP HIM IN…HES TRYING HE’S…NO!!! TLA WIGGLES AWAY! HE SLIPS OUT!! TLA hops to his feet, Osamu crawls to the ring ropes. Osamu gets to his feet and turns…CARTEL KICK!!! TLA CRACKS OSAMU WITH A PERFECTLY PLACED CARTEL KICK! PELE KICK SENDS OSAMU HEAD FIRST TO THE MIDDLE ROPES! Osamu is laid on the middle rope helplessly as TLA gets up and sees his chance! TLA charges…TLA ATTACKS!!! 305!!! Tiger Feint Kick hits as Arcichida flies backwards and towards the center of the ring! TLA IS ON FIRE!
Jake Mercer: Osamu is dazed, slowly getting to his feet. TLA is standing on the apron begging for him to get up! Osamu stands, looking out of it on his feet! TLA grabs the top rope, leaps from the apron, bounces off the ropes, FLIPS FORWARD IN THE AIR…DRAGONRANA!!! WAIT!!!! OH GOD NO!!!! OSAMU CATCHES HIM!! HE HAS HIM ON HIS SHOULDERS AND…POWERBOMB!! POWERBOMB! POWERBOMB!!! TLA LANDS FLAT ON HIS BACK! HIS LEGS IN THE AIR! OSAMU SEES THIS AND…
Stew-O: OSAMU LOCK AGAIN!!! OSAMU LOCKS HIS INVERTED KNEE BAR IN THE CENTER OF THE RING BUT…NO!!! TLA KICKS HIM OFF AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND! Osamu runs to the ropes and stops himself this time! Osamu won’t allow himself to set himself up for another 305! Arcichida turns and sees TLA barely on his feet bent forward and attacks! Osamu charges…KICK TO THE GUT BY TLA! OSAMU BENDS FORWARD…OSAMU IS CAUGHT! TLA HAS HIM IN POSITION! WAIT…NO…WAIT YES! MEXICAN DESTROYER!!! The flipping piledriver! THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT! TLA ROLLS HIM OVER! COVER!
Ref: ONE!!!
TWO!!!
THREE!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“Ambitionz az a ridah” by Tupac plays as fans go insane. TLA gets to his feet as Osamu rolls out of the ring.)
Stephie Love: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…LA PANTERA SEXUAL…T-L-AAAAAA!!!!
Flannery McCoy: Incredible match! Spectacular counters in to an incredible finishing sequence from TLA! No doubt, TLA fought hard but Osamu came closer and closer to taking TLA’s knee with him with that Osamu lock! But, both men will need to bring that intensity plus more at Operation: Doomsday if they want to walk away as winners!
Stew-O: Yea, TLA is seen as a joke to guys like Darkane and Eric Havoc but anybody can see when he turns it on in that ring that he is one of the best wrestlers alive!
Jake Mercer: How he hasn’t won a world title yet is a travesty!
Flannery McCoy: Maybe a win over Darkane can lead him on the path to facing the winner of Impact and Lethal Consequences?
(We cut backstage as we see The Round Table standing by a brick wall, eye to eye with one another, as Drake King hypes up Jake Smith.)
Drake King: Hey! Hey! This is your main event! Your time, Jake!
Jake Smith: You’re right! You are absolutely right! My time!
Drake King: Your time! The mightiest one’s time to let everyone here in this building and in EAW know two things!
Jake Smith: Two things!
Drake King: First thing…you are better than Vic Venom and his peel and stick tattoos!
Jake Smith: Ugly ass tattoos!
Drake King: Second thing…you are better than Jack Ripley and his moronic gun puns!
Jake Smith: Stupid ass puns. Jack can’t stand a chance with me!
Drake King: No he cannot! This guy is a warm up, he’s not even a threat! You beat him down here tonight and I’ll finish him off at Operation: Doomsday!
Jake Smith: Finish him like Mortal Kombat!
Drake King: Then, you go on and win that National Elite title and put it right in front of the eyes of all those haters, doubters, and nonbelievers! You prove to everybody what you have been saying; Jax and Joshua held us back. Joshua especially held you back!
Jake Smith: Held me back like when Ripley flunked the 12th grade!
Drake King: That’s right! This is your night and Operation: Doomsday will be ours!
Jake Smith: Yes! OH YE-Wha-…
(Over strolls Jack Ripley, as the crowd goes wild.)
Crowd: SHOOT-ER!! SHOOT-ER!! SHOOT-ER!!
Jack Ripley: Ok, looks like this little cheerleader pep talk has worked! Nice job last week with those chairs, boys. It was a good move. Smart one, indeed. It was even smarter to turn your backs on Vic and I and I must say…watching you two shoot up that crowd and those stairs was faster than any speeding bullet I’ve ever seen! Here’s the thing…Drake King here tries any of that interference crap tonight in this match…I’ll make my way down to that ring faster than you two ran last week and crack you both in the face with me foot. At Operation: Doomsday, though…no running will be had. Just you running your mouths for about a week or so…
(Jack walks right up to Drake Smith and is eye to eye with the former Interwire champ.)
Jack Ripley: Just to get kicked in your teeth by Vic Venom…
(Ripley walks over and is now face to face with Jake.)
Jack Ripley: …And ripped apart by me! Good luck tonight, Jakey and Drakey…let’s see if that luck lasts for one more week. Spoiler alert: it won’t!
(Jack laughs as he points finger guns at both men and backs away as Drake and Jake left fuming.)
Stew-O: Ripley shoots another barb at The Round Table right before Jake’s big main event match with Vic Venom!
Flannery McCoy: The National Elite champ is confident and cocky but can you blame him? He wants to hold that title longer than Ms Extreme held the Pure Championship when she was here on Dynasty and if he can get past Jake Smith, he will be one step closer to achieving that.
Jake Mercer: Anybody counting out my long flowing haired, first name twin are going to be in for a rude awakening. Jake Smith is going to shock the whole world and win that National Elte title. This has the makings of being a modern day “Susan Sarambo vs NightWylder” from AWF’s Flight or Fight ppv from 2006! One of the best indie wrestling events ever…me and 9 others paid 9 dollars to watch that feud and that ending…god! Nobody saw it coming!
Flannery McCoy: I’m pretty sure no one saw it…period!
Jake Mercer: (checks his phone.) OH! My StockX order for those new Yeezys just arrived at my house! Happy birthday to me!
(The camera cuts to Stephie Love in the ring.)
Stephie Love: The following tag team match is scheduled for ONE FALL!!!
(“Evil of the Sky” – CFO$ hits!!!)
Stephie Love: Introducing first they are the tag team of Remi Skyfire and Darcy May Morgan… VALLLLLLLLKYRIE!!!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: Oh my God. This tag team!
Jake Mercer: This is what I’m talking about. These bitches give no fucks but maybe I can persuade them…
Stew-O: Somehow I don’t think they would be interested…
(My Own Summer (Shove It)” by Deftones hits!!!
Stephie Love: And their opponents… first from New Orleans, Louisiana… DARRRRRRRRKANE!!!
Stew-O: Darkane looks annoyed that he has to work a tag team match this week. He doesn’t like working with others.
Flannery McCoy: He needs to learn to make friends. Friendship is one of the things that makes life great!
Jake Mercer: Meh friends are overrated. You can’t trust anyone but yourself! I avoid talking to anyone unless absolutely necessary and even then I try to get away as soon as possible!
( ‘Friend vs. Friend’ by Company Flow hits!!!)
Stephie Love: And last but not least his tag team partner for tonight from Oakland, California please welcome LEEEEEEEETHAL CONSEQUENCES!!!!
Stew-O: Here comes the man who could be the next champion here on Dynasty.
Flannery McCoy: Only if he defeats Impact! That is no easy task!
Jake Mercer: But if anyone can do it it is this legendary veteran competitor Lethal Consequences!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: We are underway and it looks like Darkane will be starting things off against Darcy May Morgan. This should be an interesting confrontation here. They lock up in the ring with Darkane pushing Darcy back. But Darcy rolls over pulling Darkane with and tosses him into the corner. Darkane lands on the second turnbuckle and springboards off with a Crossbody onto Darcy but Darcy rolls through into a pin!
Referee: ONE!! TWO!!!
Jake Mercer: A KICKOUT! Hahaha Darkane almost lost to a girl in like 10 seconds!!!
Flannery McCoy: Yes he did Jake and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. Darcy is a great competitor and a great choice for Remi as a tag team partner!
Stew-O: Darkane back up now looking extra serious as he again locks up with Darcy looking a little less aggressive this time. He powers her down to the ground and twists her arm around into a tight armband. Darcy reaches out with her other arm..
Jake Mercer: And Remi Skyfire tags it! Remi leaps over the top rope and collides her boot to the head of Darkane! Curb Stomp! Darkane collapses releasing the hold as Darcy rolls to the outside. Remi continues the assault battering Darkane in the face with hard forearms keeping him grounded.
Flannery McCoy: A queen. Remi now being shoved back by Darkane but she grabs one of his arms and yanks both of them down to the mat together. Remi is thrown off Darkane and falls backwards but manages to catch one of his legs. She grabs the other one quickly as Darkane tries to throw her off. But fails as she twists him around…
Stew-O: Sharpshooter applied! Darkane struggling to get to the ropes! He thrashing and squirming doing all he can to get out of this one! He lunges!!!
Jake Mercer: BUT HE MISSES THE ROPES! NO WAIT! DARKANE MISSED BUT HE LANDED ON HIS BACK AND TWISTED REMI OFF HIM! HE LEAPS TO MAKE THE TAG!!!
Flannery McCoy: TAG TO LETHAL CONSEQUENCES!
Stew-O: Lethal comes in and tosses Remi off Darkane! Lethal kicks Remi hard in the head and begins toying with her wiping his boot on her large forehead. And he spits on her. Remi looks up at Lethal in disgust as he reaches down and grabs her by the face bringing her up and shouting profanities into her ear.
Flannery McCoy: REMI SWINGS FOR THE FENCES!!!
Jake Mercer: AND MISSES! REMI FLAILS AROUND LANDING ON THE TOP ROPE! Lethal Consequences lifts her up and drops her throat first over the top! She falls backwards… Lethal rolls her up!!!
Referee: ONE! TWO!
Stew-O: NO! DARCY MAY MORGAN IN THE RING TO BREAK THE COUNT! SHE SHOULDN’T BE IN THERE! SHE’S NOT LEGAL!
Flannery McCoy: WATCH OUT!!!
Jake Mercer: DARKANE WITH A SPEAR TO DARCY! Darkane gores Darcy between the ropes and they go rolling to the outside! Meanwhile in the ring Lethal Consequences turns and pulls Remi back up… What is he thinking here?!?!?
Stew-O: ACID REIGN!!!
(“Can I Live” by Jay-Z hits!!!)
Flannery McCoy: WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!
Jake Mercer: THAT’S IMPACT’S MUSIC! THE CHAMP IS HERE!!!
Stew-O: Lethal Consequences turning towards the entrance as he yells angrily.
Lethal Consequences: COME OUT HERE I’LL BEAT YOUR ASS! I WON’T EVEN HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL NEXT SATURDAY! YOUR ASS IS MINE! ALL MINE!
(The music fades as Lethal Consequences shrugs and mutters “coward” under his breath.)
Flannery McCoy: WAIT FROM BEHIND REMI WITH A ROLLUP!!!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stephie Love: Here are your winners the team of Remi Skyfire and Darcy May Morgan… VALLLLLLLKYRRRRRRRIE!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Lethal can’t believe it! And neither can Remi! She just stole one here tonight!
Flannery McCoy: YES THE LESBIANS WON!!!
Jake Mercer: I’m sure you want to party with them tonight Flannery.
Flannery McCoy: I’m sure you want to watch.
Stew-O: Impact must really be getting under Lethal Consequences’ skin. He didn’t even have to make an appearance to cost him this match! But it could backfire… Impact still has to actually beat Lethal if he wants to keep that title. And after tonight Lethal is going to be out for blood!
(The camera cuts to a commercial for the new EAW dating service. Find a partner who knows how to finish you just like the EAW Elitists finish their opponents in the ring!!!)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen our next match is THE MAIN EVENT and is scheduled for
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
Stephie Love: And is a Single’s match!
(“It’s Not A Fashion Statement, It’s A Fucking Deathwish” by My Chemical Romance plays as fans immediately boo the appearance of Jake Smith. The lights are dimmed for the intro of the song as strobe lights flash everywhere. The main vocals kick in and out steps Jake Smith in the flesh. Smith runs his fingers through his hair as he smirks at the hate filled fans watching and booing him on the stage.)
Stephie Love: On his way to the ring…from Atlantic City, New Jersey by way of Venice, California…weighing in at 210 pounds…THE MIGHTIEST ONE…ONE HALF OF THE ROUND TABLE…JAAAAAAKE SMMMIIIITH!!!!
Flannery McCoy: The cocky, middle finger raising, Joshua Nicholls dumping, forever feuding with Eric Havoc man in front of us can tell all his doubters to hush and put respect on his name. That is…if Jake Smith can beat Vic Venom tonight and defeat Jack Ripley at Operation: Doomsday next week!
Stew-O: Jake has come up short in title matches before. Many put the blame on his partner failing to help elevate their tag team, there is no Joshua Nicholls to blame come next week. Jake is facing Jack Ripley for the North American title and he’s gotta do it by himself!
Jake Mercer: I believe in the divorcee Jake Smith to not only beat Jack Ripley, overcome all odds saying he can’t win a championship, but also make everyone that doubts our long haired legend…KNEEL!!
(Jake enters the ring and makes himself comfortable with his back against a turnbuckle as he goes full HEEL with double middle fingers to the fans still booing The Mightiest One. Jake laughs until his music ends and “Ronin” by Within The Ruins blast as fans go wild.)
Stephie Love: AND HIS OPPONENT…from Oslo, Norway…
(Out steps Vic Venom to a chorus of cheers from the fans. Vic stands on the stage, an intensity washes over his face as he has a laser beam focus on his opponent standing in the ring.)
Stephie Love: He weighs in at 225 pounds…HE IS THE MORNINGSTAR…VICCCCCCC VEEEEENOOOOOOM!!!
Flannery McCoy: The man that was seconds away from defeating the current National Elite champion looks absolutely focused on thrashing the man that ruined that match AND could be the next National Elite champion himself if he does what he denied Venom from doing at O:D! Jake is an underdog at that show but could he be a favorite in this match?
Jake Mercer: People take Jake for a joke but if you ask Eric Havoc or Fatal Destiny if Smith is an underdog…I doubt they would let that escape their lips!
Flannery McCoy: Maybe, but Vic Venom isn’t those men or women. He’s The MorningStar. Son of Scott Venom. First of his name. Maybe a win here and a possible Jake Smith title win and a future National Elite title shot is in Vic’s future?!
Stew-O: Anything can happen here in EAW but that path for Vic could write itself. Don’t forget…if he beats Drake King, maybe this is his future. But, say he doesn’t…what’s likely his future?
Flannery McCoy: Vic is one of the best newcomers thats come in to EAW and his future is bright but, seeing how Drake did Cage with that steel chair and being as their match is a street fight…Vic better hope his career isn’t put in to jeopardy going to war with Drake King!
(Vic rolls in to the ring and doesn’t waste a second.)
Stew-O: WOAH! VIC ISN’T WASTING TIME! HE CHARGES RIGHT AT JAKE AS JAKE IS STUCK IN THE CORNER! A FURY OF BLOWS FLY AS VIC BATTERS JAKE IN THAT TURNBUCKLE!
(Ding! Ding!)
Stew-O: The bell rings! The ref starts the match as Vic Venom is all over Jake Smith like white on rice! Jake covers up, cowering in the corner as Vic throws elbows, knees, forearms, and punches all over his body! Jake drops down to the bottom turnbuckle as he keeps his hands up hoping to block the blows but Vic is so solid as a striker that blocking them all is near impossible! Jake is seated in the corner as Vic drives his boot through his guard! Stomping right in to his chest!
Jake Mercer: Vic is stomping a mudhole in him. Or a Purvo skylė as they say in Lithuania!
Flannery McCoy: What? Vic is from Norway, tho!
Jake Mercer: Yeah but Venom and his dad won the Lithuanian Tag Team titles in a tag team tournament in 2009! It was incredible, I was there live…the popcorn was made and sold by Zydrunas Illgauskas’s uncle Steve.
Stew-O: Venom is forced to back away as Jake sticks his head between the bottom and middle rope to force the referee to make him relent. Vic backs up and walks all the way to his corner before putting his hands on his knees and daring Jake to get up. Jake slowly gets up as the referee checks on him to make sure he is fine. Jake is visibly upset at the fast paced attack but is regaining his composure.
Flannery McCoy: The ref steps back and gives Vic the signal and…VENOM CHARGES AGAIN! HE MEASURES JAKE AND…BOOM! SHOOT KICK TO THE CHEST SENDS JAKE BACK IN TO THE TURNBUCKLE! Vic is RIGHT back on him! Vibrant strikes being mixed in and out as they all start connecting on various parts of Jake’s body! Jabs to the face, knees to the gut, elbows to the neck, followed by a shoot kick to the chest again! Jake is lifted off the ground and falls right on his back side in to the bottom turnbuckle like before! Vic is stomping him out once again as Jake can barely block any of the strikes!
Stew-O: Smith sticks his head under the middle rope again and yells for the ref who has to literally drag Vic off of him to stop the illegal strikes once again. Vic is breathing heavy but this time he walks back to his corner, crosses his legs, and sits indian style as he stares at Jake in his corner holding his body riling in pain!
Flannery McCoy: Intense stare down from Vic Venom to Jake Smith as Vic is still obviously pissed off at Jake ruining his chance to pin the North American champion last week. Jake has to find a way out of this ring corner because Vic has him stuck with nowhere to go and is picking him apart every time there! Listen to the crowd, guys!
Crowd: VE-NOM!! CLAP CLAP CLAP! VE-NOM!! CLAP CLAP CLAP! VE-NOM! CLAP CLAP CLAP!
Stew-O: The fans are loving this intensity from Vic as Jake is now pissed off as can be. Jake uses the turnbuckles and pulls himself up. Venom, sitting in his corner, does the same thing. Both men slowly begin walking towards the middle of the ring. Jake and Vic are…face to face. Jake places his forehead against Venom’s and shoves him backwards as the fans are letting out a unison “OOOH” at that. Vic puts his forehead on Jake’s and shoves his head back and the fans cheer. Jake puts his forehead on Vic’s and tries to shove him again but Vic isn’t budging. Both men are standing their ground right in the middle of the ring. Vic is pushing and so is Jake. Jake shoves Vic with one hand and moves him. Vic walks right back and shoves Jake with one hand!
Vic Venom (off mic): You cost me the biggest match of my career, you cunt!
Flannery McCoy: Jake takes both hands and moves Vic backwards with full force!
Jake Smith (off mic): Nobody is pinning that wannabe gunslinger but ME!
Stew-O: Vic cocks his hand back and SLAPS JAKE RIGHT IN THE FACE! Jake turns, cocks back, SLAPS VIC RIGHT BACK IN THE MOUTH! Both men are turning red from those slaps as Smith and Venom begin trading blows! Slap from Venom, slap from Jake! Elbow from Vic, elbow from Jake. Forearm by Jake, punch by Jake. Elbow from Vic, jab from Venom. Both men are throwing blows and both continue fighting right in the ring. Jake throws a punch…
Crowd: NO!!!!
Stew-O: Vic throws a forearm!
Crowd: YES!!!
Stew-O: Jake slaps Vic’s chest with a knife edge chop!
Crowd: NO!!!!!!
Stew-O: Venom throws a shoot kick that backs Jake WAY UP!
Crowd: YES!!!!!!
Stew-O: Smith charges right back at Venom and leaps in the air! RUNNING FOREARM SENDS VENOM BACKWARDS INTO THE ROPES!!
Crowd: NOO!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: …Vic bounces off the ropes and RUNNING KNEE STRIKE TO THE TEMPLE OF JAKE SMITH SENDS HIM FLYING BACKWARDS…INTO THE ROPES!
Crowd: YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
Jake Mercer: Vic plants his feet, he’s waiting for Jake to come back…Vic locks his hips before spinning around and throwing his feet at oncoming Jake…THE LEGACY KICK!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Vic spins around and Jake waits for him to make a complete 360…PARALYZER!!! Jake hits his spinebuster on Vic and finally takes his opponent down! Smith hooks the leg! Cover!!
Ref: ONE!!!
TWO!!!
THREE!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Stew-O: CLOSE! VERY CLOSE! Vic was on fire in the opening of the match but Smith pulled that spinebuster out of nowhere and rocked Vic Venom right in the middle of the ring! Jake has control of the match as he gets to his feet and raises a middle finger to some fans in the front row! Jake smiles, his cocky grin returns to him. Smith slowly drags Vic up by his head, scooping him up to his feet. Smith lifts Vic in the air…he’s going for it…CROSSFIRE!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! VIC ELBOWS JAKE BEFORE HE CAN HIT THE FALCON ARROW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! ANOTHER ELBOW! VIC SLIPS BEHIND JAKE SMITH! Venom drops down low and LEG SWEEP! HE KICKS THE BACK OF JAKE’S LEGS AND HAS HIM FLIPPING BACKWARDS!
Flannery McCoy: GOD! Smith lands on the back of his head from the force of the leg sweep by Venom! Smith rolls over to his front, looking to be in bad shape after landing awkwardly on his head and neck area! Smith is pushing himself up but so is Venom. Vic is getting to his feet quickly as Jake takes his time. Venom sees his opening and sprints to the ropes, jumping on the middle rope, LEAPING IN THE AIR AND TURNING AROUND AT THE SAME TIME! VENOM 2.0!!!!
Jake Mercer: NO!!!! JAKE LEAPS AND CRACKS VENOM WITH A DROPKICK TO THE BACK AS VENOM GOES FOR THE SPRINGBOARD CUTTER! IT FAILS! IT FAILS AND JAKE SMITH AND VENOM ARE BOTH ON THE MAT LOOKING ROUGH A WAY RIGHT NOW! They look worse then the projected sales of Popsmoke’s album, my god!
Stew-O: Vic rolls around as Jake crawls to the ropes and looks to take advantage of his opponents pain! Jake climbs to his feet, turning, and staring down Vic Venom once again. Vic is slowly getting up as Jake crouches low, measuring his foe! Venom…gets…to his…knee. A smirk hits Jake’s visage.
Jake Smith (off mic): KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!
Flannery McCoy: JAKE CHARGES! HE LEAPS!!!
Stew-O: SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT!!!! THE BOMAYE KNEE LANDS RIGHT ON THE BUTTON AS VIC FALLS FLAT OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
Jake Mercer: THAT’S IT!!! IT’S OVER!! COVER!!!
Ref: ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
THREE!!!!
NO!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: LAST SECOND KICK OUT!!! THE CROWD IS GOING BONKERS! VIC FOUGHT OUT OF THE PIN AT THE LAST AVAILABLE MOMENT AND JAKE IS LIVID! JAKE SLAPS THE MAT AND LETS OUT A GUTTURAL SCREAM AS HE PULLS AT HIS OWN HAIR!
Jake Mercer: That poor, poor, beautiful hair!
Flannery McCoy: Smith has to regain his composure. The match isn’t over because Vic just can’t quit but Smith has to stay on his opponent! Smith gets up, hes screaming for Vic to get up to. Vic is on his stomach, breathing hard, trying to push himself back up. Smith doesn’t want to wait, he stomps right over to his opponent. Smith bends down, grabbing Vic by his neck…Jake gets behind Venom…
Jake Smith (off mic): IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNEEL…THEN YOU ARE GONNA TAP!!!
Stew-O: DISENCHANTED!!! REAR NAKED CHOKE HOLD! JAKE LOCKS IN THE…WAIT!!! JAKE IS TRYING TO LOCK IN THE CHOKE HOLD BUT VIC IS FIGHTING!! VENOM IS FIGHTING!!! VENOM…THROWS A REVERSE HEADBUTT RIGHT IN TO JAKE SMITH’S NOSE AND BREAKS THE HOLD! JAKE STEPS BACK, HE CAN’T SEE! VENOM LINES HIM UP…THE LEGACY CONNECTS!!! THE BLACK MASS KICK CONNECTS MY GOD! VIC DROPS JAKE SMITH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING AND
Flannery McCoy: LOOK! THE BARRICADE! IT’S DRAKE KING! DRAKE’S HOPPED THE BARRICADE AND LEAPS ON TO THE APRON!! THE REF TURNS TO SEE DRAKE AND SCREAMS FOR HIM TO LEAVE! MY GOD! DRAKE IS DISTRACTING THE REF AS VIC GOES FOR THE COVER!
Crowd: ONE!!!
TWO!!!
THREE!!!
FOUR!!!
FIVE!!!
Stew-O: Jake is out! Drake is snatching the referee’s attention as an out of breath Vic Venom turns to see King bothering the official! WAIT!!! LOOK! SPEEDING LIKE A BULLET DOWN THE RAMP!!! HE GRABS DRAKE KING’S FOOT, RIPS IT OFF THE APRON! DRAKE LANDS FLAT ON HIS BACK ON THE APRON AND BOUNCES OFF THAT TO THE ARENA FLOOR! LOOK! ITS
Jake Mercer: JACK RIPLEY!!! THE SHOOTER IS HELPING VIC VENOM!!! HE’S TAKEN DRAKE KING OUT OF THE EQUATION AS THE REFEREE TURNS TO SEE VIC VENOM STANDING AND TRYING TO GET HIS ATTENTION! VIC TELLS THE REF TO COUNT AND TURNS AND
Stew-O: SMITH IS UP!!! JAKE SMITH IS UP!!! JAKE KICKS VIC RIGHT IN THE GUT! MY GOD! HE TOOK THAT DISTRACTION TO WAKE BACK UP AND NOW SMITH HAS VIC RIGHT WHERE HE WANTS HIM!!!! BROKEN WINGS!!!! SNAP SWINGING NECKBREAKER!!!!
Flannery McCoy: MY GOD MY GOD NO!!!! JAKE IS SHOVED AWAY RIGHT AS HE GOES FOR THE CUTTER AND RUNS TO THE ROPES! SMITH BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES AND BACK TOWARDS VIC!
Jake Mercer: THE LEGACY!!!! THE LEGACY!!! THE LEGACY!!! THE BLACK MASS KICK CONNECTS AGAIN! JAKE IS OUT!!! HE IS OUT COLD!!! VIC COLLAPSES ON TO JAKE!!! HE BARELY HOOKS THE LEG!!! COVER!!!
Ref: ONE!!!
TWO!!!!
THREEE!!!!!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stephie Love: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…THE MORNING STAR…VIC VEEEEEEEEENNNNNOM!!!!!!!!!!!
(“Ronin” by Within The Ruins plays as we see Jack Ripley roll in to the ring and Vic climb to his feet and get his hand raised by the referee.)
Stew-O: Major win not just for Vic Venom but for Jack Ripley as well! Nothing like lowering the confidence of a future challenger by helping him fail in a main event match on the go home show before a marquee event like Operation: Doomsday!
Jake Mercer: You can say that again and twice more for the people in the back! I can’t say I was surprised at Drake King showing up but I will say I am surprised Jack showed up to help Venom out at this moment. They fought last week but it’s clear they have a mutual respect for one another.
Stew-O: That and Ripley and Vic fought The Round Table back and away last week after both being jumped by Drake and Jake. It’s only fitting they stand tall as Drake and Smith meet ringside and hobble and crawl their way up the ramp!
Jake Mercer: This wasn’t the night for Drake or Jake but things can change quickly here in EAW. Ripley and Vic stand tall with their heads up high now but who knows exactly what’s going to happen at Operation: Doomsday!
Stew-O: Jake Smith was fantastic even before Drake came to save him briefly. He needs to bring that cunning behavior and even more confidence because though he may have lost tonight, nothing is stopping him from becoming our next National Elite champion!
Flannery McCoy: Actually, Stew…there is something stopping him. His name is Jack Ripley and everybody better put some respect on the shooter’s name is all I have to say!
(We fade to a commercial break as Ripley raises Vic Venom’s hand high in the sky and mouths “The Future of EAW RIGHT HERE!” as the camera cuts to a Dairy Queen commercial starring Lyndsey Kingsley. The hottest milf enjoying ice cream with milk. Yum. We return from the break back to EAW programming.)
(Commercial break, featuring an ad for Crip-A-Cola soda, with EAW Elitist Serena Bennett. Made with real cane sugar and free of artificial flavors and preservatives. #MakeAmericaTrapAgain.)
(The camera cuts back from commercial break as we see the ring at the center of TD Garden dripping with blue carpet. Two blue armchairs and pillows are in the center of the blue-carpeted ring, along with bottles of iced “Crip-A-Cola” drinks in ice buckets. The fans are going nuts as two EAW crew members appear on stage and unroll a tremendously long blue carpet from the stage and down the ramp.)
Flannery McCoy: Guys…this set up looks VERY familiar!
Jake Mercer: This is a new one for me and Stew, Flan, who is it?
Flannery McCoy: Oh. You’ll know who it is. :mjlit:
(Lights begin to flash around the arena as “Surfin’ (ft. Pharrel Williams)” by Kid Cudi begins to play as the crowd loses its composure with excitement. Out runs Serena Bennett, a bandage over her hands that were stapled to the ring a week ago by Kassidy Heart.)
Stew-O: Former Specialist’s champion and previously EAW’s Universal Women’s World champion…Serena Bennet is here in Boston tonight!
Flannery McCoy: She’s here, and the setup tells us all–The Blue Carpet Treatment has finally come to Dynasty! :blessed: Allow me to fill you gentlemen in: The Blue Carpet is a talk show which has had quite an array of guests throughout its tenure on Empire. Stephone Hunte, Sienna Jade, Veena Adams, Minerva, Andrea Valentine–even Kassidy Heart had a quick appearance once before, the week before her Iconic Cup match, where she eventually won the very cup that brought her the Universal Women’s Championship.
Jake Mercer: :notbad: A little ironic though, isn’t it? That Serena once gave Kassidy Heart as well as the other Iconic Cup competitors a proper “send off” for that Iconic Cup opportunity on her show, not knowing that she’d be falling victim to that Cup less than half a year later.
Flannery McCoy: Right you are, Jake. The Blue Carpet is full of possibilities. Considered one of the greatest Elitists on the microphone of the decade, Serena Bennett has yet another opportunity to make an impactful statement on the show she brought to Empire on her very own–something Empire desperately needed, if you ask me.
Jake Mercer: I just wonder who she’ll bring on this time?!
(Serena enters the ring through the middle rope, surveying the audience of adoring fans. Stephie Love slides her a microphone as she bends over and gives a small wiggle of her behind to tease the crowd before grabbing the microphone and raising it to her lips as her music fades out.)
Serena Bennett: Boston, what’s goin’ on?!
Crowd: SE-RE-NA!! SE-RE-NA!! SE-RE-NA!!
(Serena giggles as she takes a seat in her comfortable blue velvet armchair.)
Serena Bennett: Yeah, I thought so. Happy to see y’all! Welcome everybody to a VERY special edition of the Blue Carpet Treatment! The first of MANY on Dynasty! I can’t believe it’s only one week before I finally get my chance and get to walk out of Operation: Doomsday with my Universal Women’s Title back around my fuckin’ waist. Talk to me nice.
(The crowd happily obliges, and talks nicely to Serena with more chants and cheers of praise and admiration.)
Serena Bennett: Real talk, though, this city is kewl and all, but Boston left a real bad taste in my mouth–and no, I’m not talking about Kemba Walker. (She pauses and gives a wink to the camera as she slips the tip of her tongue out of her mouth.) Nah, the last time we were here, Empire was cancelled–I was on my way out of the arena, tryna get to my hotel in Boston, Mass when the announcement was made and lemme tell you, the aura in this place was unlike anything I ever felt before. Made me feel like we were all gettin’ ready for a funeral or somethin’, you know? I know I said that I wasn’t stressin’ when the doors were closing on Empire–and that still rings true today. And I was never at all surprised. It was only a matter of time before the mindsets and disgruntled personalities that couldn’t be satisfied with a damn thing that was given to them only put the nail in the coffin for that brand. Complainin’ for no reason each and every week, tryna sell that “woe is me” story. All them lil’ biddies that mope and bitch and moan and cry about how they been tossed aside time and time again. Yawn. And now she’s the face of the division, she wants to deeemaaaaaannnd respect from motherfuckers, as if they can’t see right through her lil’ plastic ass. Oh, yeah, in case you haven’t caught on, I’m talkin’ about Kassidy Heart, my fault, I thought it was obvious, I see the look on some of your faces and I guess I wasn’t clear enough–that or you’re a closeted Kassidy Heart fan too scared to cheer for her in my face. :mjpls:
(Serena lowers the microphone momentarily, continuing to :mjpls: at the fans around the arena. She tries to keep a straight face, but it eventually breaks with a smile and she begins to address the audience again.)
Serena Bennett: But that’s okay! I can’t be mad or say that I really blame any of y’all since she is your Universal Champ and all that. (Serena dramatically rolls her eyes.) But you all need to come to terms, and quick, that Kassidy is a good for nothing snake. I’ma let the whole world know you ain’t shit but a thief. You should know better than to fuck around with me, bitch. I’m not the one, you don’t need no beef with me and my bad mood so I hope to god you finally came to your senses after investing in a negative-aura repelling track suit courtsey your husband and have finally decided to slow your fucking role when it comes to talking to me. I’ll knock the shit out a bitch, I’m finna be disrespectful come next week, sis. I’m pissed as hell that it was you who got all the congratulations instead of me, all the praise and glory for that sissy shit y’all think for some reason is acceptable. I been tossed aside, yet again, ‘cause some other blonde white bitch is the face of the company yet again, after all I’ve done and promised to do when it came to putting talented, worthy Black female stars back on the map. Motherfuckers done looked right over me and my claim to the title of inaugural Universal Women’s Champion, ran straight to you, handed you all the credit you complained you never got–and how the fuck you think that makes me feel goin’ into Operation: Doomsday? Think I’m scared of you, Kassidy? A staple to the knuckle pales in comparison to the emotional distress I experienced the night of Pain for Pride. You’re the motherfucker reaping all of the rewards now because of my hard work and my Pain for Pride Main Event match that gave you the perfect opportunity to slide right in like the dirty fucking snake I always knew you to be. And sneaking up behind a bitch in the middle of her very own match like you did last week to try and get your point across only proves my point. Shady piece of shit.
(Serena glances down at her free bandaged hand, which is now clenching a fist.)
Serena Bennett: But I didn’t come out here just to air my own grievances with that busted bitch. In fact…in my travels, I think I may have just found someone with just as much disdain in their heart for Kassidy as I do. Someone who has agreed to fill us in with a behind-the-scenes look at Kassidy Heart’s life. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…uh…I didn’t get her name actually, but she used to work at the Ryan Adams’ Estate, makin’ a pretty penny, so give it up for her, Boston!
(“Surfin’” picks back up throughout the arena as a former employee of Mr. DEDEDE begins her way down the ramp to a slow series of crowd claps and cheers. The camera takes a moment to focus in on the faces of the audience, who wear confused looks as they watch the former Ryan Adams’ Estate staff member walk up the steel steps.)
Jake Mercer: Now, what is the #1 Contender for the Universal Women’s Championship trying to prove by doing this tonight?! How on earth did Serena managed to convince a former employee of Mr. DEDEDE to come out here and speak against the Heart-Adams family?!
Stew-O: I would not be surprised at all if we were to find out that this woman hasn’t worked for the Chairman a day in her life–I mean, look at her! She looks like she belongs on the street corner!
Flannery McCoy: Looks can be deceiving, Stew. For all we know, this woman may hold a fair bit of secrets about Kassidy and Mr. DEDEDE and could give us all a very good look on what might have actually gone down between those two since the Draft show–plus, she’s already been fired, what does she have left to lose?!
Jake Mercer: Her life. :lupe:
(Serena applauds, standing up from her velvet blue chair and motions for the former servant girl to take a seat. “Surfin’” dies down and the crowd in the arena continues to awkwardly applaud.)
Serena Bennett: Welcome to the Blue Carpet, sis! Have a Crip-A-Cola or two.
Servant Girl: Gracias. It means a lot that you asked me to be here–I’ve been discouraged from coming out here and saying anything by some of my old coworkers, but after what those people put me through…I feel as though it’s only right that I speak up, and let people finally know the truth.
Serena Bennett: That’s brave of you. :notbad: Well, let me hear it, cuz. (Serena pulls out a stack of notecards from her back pocket.) I even wrote down a few questions for you to get the ball rolling–now, first things first, I wanna know what your opinion is about the whole Kassidy x Ryan relationship. Publicity stunt? Is she really as prude as she claims to be?
Servant Girl: My gawd, you should see it for yourself, Serena. Canoodling by the fireplace, playing cards and board games, eating meals together. True love if I’ve ever seen it. Don’t even get me started on the noises that come out of their bedroom late at night–”ayyyyeee, Papi!”
Serena Bennett: :oh: !!!! You don’t say?! So they out here ridin’ the hobby horse, after all that shit Kassidy was talkin’ about how much she hates this man, she bussin’ it open for him?!
Servant Girl: Oh, si. She’s just like all the other girls who come to the estate with Ryan–looking for his money. Golddiggers you may call them. Kassidy acting like she’s too good to accept our help–and I think it’s because I speak Spanish with my sisters who work there before, too. We’re only trying to do our jobs, and she won’t let us! “Kassidy, let us do your laundry,” “Kassidy, we can help you clean the room if you want,” “Kassidy, please let us clean the kitchen.” And you know what she says, Serena?
Serena Bennett: What she say?
Servant Girl: She says no! She won’t let me work–because she knows that I am not salaried. I only get paid for the work I get done. If I’m not working, I have to clock out! I won’t get paid for her telling me “no”! I can’t be inside of the Adams’ Estate and get paid for not working at all, I need to be busy! But she says “no” to everything, and it looks like I’m lazy, like I don’t want to help, like I’m trying to steal from Mr. Adams. So he fired me.
Serena Bennett: :damn: Damn, sis! That’s why?! Here I was thinkin’ it was so much more scandalous.
Servant Girl: Nope. Let go because my services were “no longer needed.” Stupid cunt. If it weren’t for her, I’d still have a job. You know I once heard her say she was happy that ICE was breaking our families apart, that she was happy to see the American government putting so much work in to keep immigrants out–I’m not even MEXICAN! But I don’t expect her to know the difference. I was in the middle of applying for my Green Card because I worked for the Adams’ Estate, but now? I have nothing. They’ll deport me! And it’s all Kassidy’s fault! KASSIDY HEART…IS A SPITEFUL, RACIST, BITCH!
(The crowd in the arena collectively gasps.)
Serena Bennett: Whew. The tea is HOT today, boys and girls. Can’t say I’m all that surprised, tho, to tell you the truth. But, girl, you gotta tell me more about what goes on in that bedroom–
(“Put Em Up” by Lupe Fiasco begins to play throughout the arena speakers, cutting Serena off mid-sentence. Serena stands up from her velvet armchair and watches as Kassidy Heart bursts from behind the curtain, the Boston crowd on their feet as they cheer for the Universal Women’s Championship. Kassidy hoists the title up in the air as she struts down the ramp, glaring at Serena.)
Stew-O: Kassidy Heart has heard ENOUGH! She’s coming out here with a purpose, ladies and gentlemen, and it is to put an end to the level of embarrassment she’s probably facing having all of her secrets thrown out in the open like this!
Flannery McCoy: I dunno, Stew…a lot of what was said here seemed a little over exaggerated if you ask me…
(“Put Em Up” dies down as Kassidy Heart reaches for a microphone from the timekeeper’s area, Serena smiling with her arms crossed over her chest.)
Serena Bennett: Excuse me, bitch, but were you invited to the Blue Carpet this evening? Didn’t think so, so get to stepping.
Kassidy Heart: Save it, hun. Leave it to you, Serena, to pull a dirty trick like this out of the books and try to yet again, turn the narrative in your favor. Anything to make yourself look better, anything to try and tear me down. What a load of garbage. It was clever, though. But you really didn’t expect I’d continue to sit back there for another moment and let you feed these people another series of lies? You really expect these people to believe that I would EVER share a bed with Ryan Adams? Or that I’d be caught dead trying to manipulate or cost an employee their job? And here I was, thinking I was being nice by refusing to abuse the staff members at the Estate. I’ll have you know that this woman was fired for being caught trying to STEAL from my wardrobe.
Serena Bennett: Oh, so y’all have something in common then? Y’all are both dirty little thieves, hm?
Kassidy Heart: Fuck off. Only ignorant, unoriginal bitches like you have the audacity to criticize me because of what happened at the Draft Show and because I’m married to Ryan, like I really had a choice in the matter. Fuck that man, and everything about him, and fuck anyone who actually thinks I’m happy about this situation and using it to my advantage. And fuck you especially, Serena, for trying to do all that you can to bring me down and tear me apart. You’ll never have the upper hand on me. How’re those hands healing, by the way? :mjgrin: And of course you’re going to resort to these petty and exaggerated tactics to try and get the upper hand on me. It’s not working tonight. And it won’t work come Operation: Doomsday. I don’t give a damn how the way I started my title reign made you feel, Serena. The only thing I care about is putting an end to your antics, putting you back in your place, and proving to any and everybody that I deserve this Title more than you can possibly comprehend, dumbass.
Flannery McCoy: AND JUST LIKE THAT KASSIDY HEART JUST CHARGED STRAIGHT AFTER SERENA BENNETT, TOSSING THE UNIVERSAL WOMEN’S TITLE ON THE GROUND! HER FORMER EMPLOYEE DARTING OUT OF THE RING AS SERENA AND KASSIDY HAVE JUST FLIPPED OVER A BLUE VELVET CHAIR!
Stew-O: Kassidy Heart is RELENTLESS! She’s on top of Serena, laying punch after punch, slap after slap to Serena Bennett’s face who is trying her hardest to fight back and push Kassidy from on top of her–WAIT, SERENA’S REACHING FOR A BOTTLE OF THE CRIP A COLA–SERENA BENNETT JUST SMASHED KASSIDY HEART IN THE BACK OF THE SKULL WITH A GLASS BOTTLE OF CRIP-A-COLA!
Jake Mercer: :damn: !!! SODA IS EVERYWHERE! ALL OVER THE RING, THE CARPET, ALL OVER KASSIDY’S BLONDE HAIR, ALL OVER SERENA’S FACE–Kassidy falls back, grabbing the back of her skull–guys, I think she might be bleeding–and Serena is quick to get back up on her feet, brushing off some shards of broken glass–OHMIGOD! SHE REACHES FOR ANOTHER BOTTLE AND SMACKS KASSIDY HEART ACROSS THE FACE! SENDING BROKEN GLASS AND SODA ALL OVER THE RING!
Flannery McCoy: Kassidy’s cheek is now GUSHING with blood! I think Serena might’ve gotten a shard stuck in her face, oh my goodness! Kassidy now bent forward, and–Serena with a kick to the midsection! AND A MOONLIGHT OUT OF NOWHERE! SERENA WITH A RUNNING NECKBREAKER ONTO KASSIDY, AND KASSIDY FALLS TO THE GROUND–SERENA WITH ANOTHER MOONLIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! ANOTHER! AND–ANOTHER MOONLIGHT! A NECKBREAKER TO KASSIDY HEART RIGHT ON TOP OF THE UNIVERSAL WOMEN’S WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BELT!
Jake Mercer: Holy shit…poor Kassidy…
(“Surfin’” begins to play yet again as Serena leans over Kassidy Heart, talking smack as Kassidy clutches onto her cut up cheek and bloody skull. Serena spits directly in Kassidy’s face before grabbing the Universal Women’s Title and holding it over Kassidy’s face.)
Serena Bennett (off-mic): I told you to think twice, didn’t I? First thing I told you was not to fuck with me, bitch. Now look what happened to you.
(Serena holds the Universal Title up in the air, smiling and posing as the crowd throws a thunderous mixed reaction her way.)
Flannery McCoy: Ladies and gentlemen, we could be getting a direct glimpse of what is to happen in the future right here, as Serena Bennett is determined as hell to win back the Universal Women’s Championship!
Stew-O: This next week cannot go by any faster! If you weren’t hype for this match up before, you better be now. Kassidy Heart defending against Serena Bennett is going to be a slobberknocker if I ever saw one.
Jake Mercer: Whatever, you two. Kassigoat’s got it in the bag. I’m sure of it. Serena is going to regret stepping up to the Queen of the Ultraviolent this way, ‘cause I don’t think she has it in her to dethrone the rightful Queen of this division! :wow:
Flannery McCoy: I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we? Catch us LIVE next week, for Operation: Doomsday, only on the EAW Network! For Jake and Stew, I’m Flannery. Goodnight everyone!
(Our final scene before fading to black is of Serena dropping the heavy Universal Title belt directly onto Kassidy’s already sore and bloody face before popping open a bottle of soda and exiting the ring.)
(EAW logo buzzes.)
