(EAW Logo Plays.)
(We see the camera rolling as a brief recap of what happened last episode is shown. We see the carnage and devastation Eric Havoc caused on three former EAW rookies with his finishing move and sledge hammer. We then see Havoc forcefully removed from the building by StarrStan as flashbacks of Mark Michaels anti-EAW rhetoric quickly flash over the screen. Karina-Ann is shown beating Damon Diesel followed by Celes Dumont celebrating with Karina but then costing her cousin Miho-Li a match against Osamu Arcichida. We see Vic Venom missing his cell phone and wallet at everyone is privy to what was coming next but him because everybody has watched the show before. We are shown the return of SOSA Henderson as he taunts Vic and throws his possessions in to the audience and then a clip of SOSA being chased by Vic Venom in to the crowd is played after.)
(We then see clips of both National Elite Champion Jack Ripley and World Heavyweight Champion Impact giving their challengers words heading towards their Operation: Doomsday showdowns. A special episode of The Poon Palace is conducted with special guest Darkane being interviewed by TLA. TLA offends Darkane and Darkane proceeds to maul one of TLA’s working girls on the ramp. We conclude with four faces; Darcy May Morgan, Remi Skyfire, Serena Bennett, and Kassidy Heart who made up two of the biggest and highly contested matches so far this season. Both EAW Universal Women’s Champion and number one contender won their matches but Remi and Darcy both looked incredibly close to beating them. The package ends as the show ended with Serena Bennett giving Kassidy Heart a golf clap from the stage following her win as Heart raised her belt high for all to see.)
(The show opens fully as the beautiful Mohegan Sun Arena in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania is broadcasted. A row of girls wearing “Bring back the Funny” shirts with Archimedes J. Manson’s face drawn on it are displayed followed by “#Bigolglutes” hoody worn by a handsome young lesbian as the show opens. We transition to the ringside area as the three man commentary team is shown. Stew-O is wearing a nice tailor suit, Flannery McCoy has a beautiful blouse, and Jake Mercer is seen rocking a “vintage” Battleground shirt from the defunct EAW developmental brand.)
Stew-O: Ladies and gentlemen welcome once again to Friday Night Dynasty! I’m Stew-O here with my partners Flannery McCoy and Jake Mercer as we keep moving forward on our road to Operation: Doomsday here!
Flannery McCoy: That’s right, tonight, we get the official contract signing from Serena Bennett and Kassidy Heart along with some huge matchups including the return of SOSA Henderson in the main event!
Jake Mercer: I want to know what Darkane thinks about TLA’s “peace offering” and if peace can ever been bartered by two of the best wrestlers in EAW.
Stew-O: Well, considering Darkane nearly killed a poor woman that was offered to him from TLA I’d suspect peace isn’t on his mind.
Jake Mercer: Rest in peace Goth Poon and Black Sheep and Rumpke and Damon Di-
(“Friend vs Friend” by Company Flow interrupts Jake as out steps Lethal Consequences. LC is wearing a button down shirt with the top three buttons open as he looks at the crowd menacingly.)
Lethal Consequences: :dave:
Stew-O: Looks like the guy who is set to face Impact in what could possibly be his last chance at the World Heavyweight Championship.
Jake Mercer: Nobody likes to get a door shut in their face and that’s what Impact wants to do with LC, he wants to shut the door at any chance of LC ever become World champion again and he has the power to do so. Two words: GAWD contract, guys.
Flannery McCoy: Some people may think it’s the end of these two chapters come Operation: Doomsday but I can’t say that definitively. Both men have been two of the longest running members of EAW and have been influential to different parts of this promotion since they joined. Both men have been intertwined as allies and enemies so long that picturing Impact never defending this World title he holds again against LC is almost impossible.
Stew-O: Well, unless he manages to win that World title from Impact than he will never get another shot at it as long as he holds it!
(LC enters the ring and is handed a microphone.)
Lethal Consequences: This company ain’t shit, ya’ kno.
(LC begins to pace back and forth.)
Lethal Consequences: I can come out here and spill a litany of reasons why I have come to said conclusion on the ain’t shittiness of this here company but I promise you I was not afforded the time to lecture you all about such facts. I was told I would be allowed to retort, reply to your EAW World Heavyweight Champion and his groundbreakingly, cowardice behavior. I was told I’d be allowed to express my frustration or lack thereof because truth be told, LC ain’t frustrated. Dig, LC is beyond frustrated. This state of emotions I’m in is unethical. I’m like angrier than a racist at the million man march. I can’t stand this man and y’all think i’m just doin what I do when I blast his old ass in the face and leave him bloody. No, you’re wrong. People think I’m just being ol’ crazy LC, baby. Nope. I’m just putting in to the universe what was thrown at me. What was thrown at me? A piece of shit with a magical piece of paper with legalized cheat codes that forgo the common laws us folk have to abide by to stake claim for our desires. What are our desires, kids? Treasure, trophies, gold, of course.
(Lethal scratches his shaved chin as he looks around the building.)
Lethal Consequence: Yea. I want what I want. Simple. I do what I want. Fair? Maybe, seeing as I don’t need no Harry Potter magic contract to grant me any and everything, ya’ kno’? Seeing as I am the rightful heir to that title reign that is falsely allowed to continue, I feel it’s owed to me. It’s owed to me seeing as the last time me and that bitch holding my title went one on one at a PPV, I won. Seeing as that bitch holding my title had to ruin my title shot against the inflatable arm flailing tube man that had it before him, I feel as though this is a formality. I should already be walking around with that belt around my waist but instead, this cock tease has it for the 99th time and I’m beyond frustrated. Not wit’ that, nah. It’s the fact he has the legal authority to tell me I can’t get another World title shot because he has his Yu-Gi-Oh trap card in his hand and I can’t stop him. Somebody needs to git’ out here and figure something out before I rip these ring ropes off this ring and start swinging them at these folks sitting ringside. Fuck what I deserve, I want what I want and I want…
StarrStan: Hold up, now. Let’s figure this out Pal.
(StarrStan appears from backstage, microphone in hand, trying to calm down LC. StarrStan begins to walk down the ramp and enter the ring.)
StarrStan: Let’s not go nuts, LC. What can I do? I understand this is a dire situation for you now seeing as Impact has decided he’s tired of facing you.
Lethal Consequences: I’m tired of his ass, too.
StarrStan: I know, but these fans aren’t tired of you two going at it. Look, Impact said if he beats you, you aren’t allowed another World Heavyweight title shot, correct?
Lethal Consequences: :dave:
StarrStan: As long as he’s the champion…right? So, just beat him and win the title? Is that not fair?
Lethal Consequences: :dave:
(StarrStan begins to enter the ring. LC stands off to the side looking incredulous as StarrStan continues.)
StarrStan: What can I do to make things somewhat unbiased? Imp has a lot of power but I still book the shows. You vs Impact is set up already, how about you pick the stipulation you want? Huh? What do you say LC? You can…
(“Can I Live” by Jay-Z begins to blasts. The crowd gets on their feet as out walks the EAW World Heavyweight Champion, Impact. Impact stands on stage wearing his leather jacket, spikes galore, and his World title around his waist.)
Impact: SS, hey. Quick question; what the fuck do you think you’re doing? Seriously? I have this cuck right where I want him, I have everything I need lined up to end this entire LC/Imp fiasco once in for all and now you are stumbling out here trying to shoot this bastard some bail? I’m so appalled at the audacity.
Lethal Consequences: I’m so appalled at your face, ya’ bitch.
Impact: You should be appalled at that bald spot in your hair and the fact that last time we saw each other, I was cracking you in the face with the very championship you will never get a chance to wrestle me for.
Lethal Consequences: Who won that damn match, by the way?
Impact: Did you pin me? No? You pinned Goldilocks after you cheap shot your tag partner and used him like a frisbee and threw him at me to win that damn match.
Lethal Consequences: I’ll throw every piece of garbage I can get my hands on at you. Jack Ripley was just the biggest piece of garbage I could find at the time!
Impact: Maybe you should mentally prepare yourself to climbing back down the ladder and seeing if Felix Hartley needs a new rival. Maybe try throwing garbage at her and harrassing her as you beg for your 100th title shot you geriatric old fuck.
Lethal Consequences: I’ll slap Sienna Jade with my dick.
Impact: I’ll slap you with my dick.
Lethal Consequences: You bitch I’ll bite your dick off and spit it out a moving car.
StarrStan: My god, STOP!
(LC and Impact stare down each other from the stage and ring as StarrStan stands between them both.)
StarrStan: You two want to throw crap at each other and punch whoever you want, and bite dicks or…well, no dick biting…you two want to just go at it for the EAW World Heavyweight title? How about we settle this once and for all in a no disqualification match at Operation: Doomsday? Huh? You like that proposition LC?
Lethal Consequences: :dave:
StarrStan: What about you, champ?
StarrStan: Well, I guess we have two confirmations. It’s settled. At Operation: Doomsday we will see Lethal Consequences go one on one with Impact for the EAW World Heavyweight championship. If LC does not win this match, he can no longer challenge Impact for the World title during this reign. Deal?
Impact: I’ll be seeing you around, bitch.
Lethal Consequence: See me, you know you wanna be me. Ya’ bitch, you.
(“Can I live plays” as Impact slowly backs away and heads to the backstage area as LC and StarrStan remain in the ring bickering.)
Stew-O: A no disqualification match between LC and Imp is now on! We’ve seen these two brutalize everyone in their path throughout their perspective careers and now we will see them do it once again against each other.
Jake Mercer: LC’s favorite match, NO DQ! I got to say, StarrStan is giving the challenger and us fans something to sink our teeth in with that.
Flannery McCoy: It may be LC’s favorite match but Impact isn’t one to worry about the match type. He shows up, shows out, and usually ends up with the World title still in his possession.
(We cut to a brief commercial break for Showdown’s event Midsummer Massacre featuring Mr. DEDEDE vs Ahren Fournier for the Answers World Championship And a brief shot of Dynasty Star Lethal Consequences laughing as he makes his annual MSM appearance. We return to break with Stephie Love in the ring.)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest… is scheduled for a…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!!
Stephie Love: Introducing first… from Jackson, Michigan, weighing in at two hundred and thirty five pounds… THE LUNATIC… JAAAASSOOOOOOOON MCCCKOOOORRRMIIIICKKK!!!
(“Devil” by Shinedown hits as the crowd boos. Jason McKormick makes his way down to the ring.)
Jake Mercer: I really like what I’ve been seeing from this guy lately!
Flannery McCoy: He’s been pretty disappointing lately if you ask me, he was hyped up like no other, but he hasn’t really been showing up.
Stew-O: He’s definitely looking to prove himself tonight, with Justin Windgate.
Jake Mercer: You are both haters! McKormick has a new found aggression! I’ll put all my money in my wallet on McKormick tonight!
(As Jason McKormick settles himself in his respective corner, “El Diablo” by Machine Gun Kelly hits, Justin Windgate heads down to the ring, receiving more of a warm welcoming from the crowd than Jason McKormick did.)
Stephie Love: AND HIS OPPONENT… from DEEEEEEETROOOIT, MICHIGAN… weighing in at two hundred and twenty five pounds.. The Xtreme Classic… JUUUUUUUSTIIIIIIN… WIIIIIIIINNNNDDDGAAAAATTEEE!
Flannery McCoy: Now THIS is somebody I could get behind, he’s returned to EAW and he’s looking to make an impact.
Stew-O: Yes, years ago, Justin Windgate was in EAW, but obviously that didn’t pan out. He’s looking to change the course of his career.
Jake Mercer: I feel bad for him honestly, this isn’t a good time to return. I predict he’s getting his head kicked in by McKormick!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Flannery McCoy: And the match is underway! Justin Windgate makes a quick effort to get the upper hand, charging Jason McKormick right as the bell sounds!
Stew-O: Windgate goes right to kicking the legs of McKormick, trying to knock him off balance, but McKormick uses the ropes to keep himself on his feet.
Jake Mercer: McKormick pushes Windgate away, who’s still kicking and takes a step forward- WINDGATE COMES BACK FAST WITH A MISSLE DROPKICK KNOCKING MCKORMICK TO HIS BACK!
Stew-O: MCKORMICK RETREATS, ROLLING OUT OF THE RING! He was caught off guard by the quick offense by Windgate! He recovers for a second outside of the ring.
Flannery McCoy: Justin Windgate takes a few steps back, inviting McKormick back into the ring. McKormick accepts the invitation rolling back in without Windgate capitalizing.
Stew-O: Windgate gets into a fighting stance, McKormick follows, getting ready to start from square one.
Jake Mercer: If I was Windgate, I would have caught McKormick off guard when he was rolling in!
Stew-O: Now look at this! The two lock arms!
Jake Mercer: Jason McKormick is overpowering Windgate, dropping him to a knee- and a kick to the gut by McKormick takes Windgate down to his back!
Flannery McCoy: McKormick follows Windgate down to the ground, wrapping his hands around the throat of Windgate!
Stew-O: Come on! That’s gotta be illegal!
Referee: ONE!!! TWO!!!!
Flannery McCoy: Is McKormick gonna get himself dq’d here?!
Referee: THREE!!! FOUR!!!
Stew-O: And McKormick releases the hold. He was so blatantly breaking the rules!
Jake Mercer: It was beautiful :mjcry:
Flannery McCoy: Get out of your feels!
Stew-O: Now look! Jason McKormick is headed up to the top rope, after choking out his opponent.
Jake Mercer: You don’t have to do this Jason!
Flannery McCoy: Jason comes down to the canvas with a flying elbow drop! NO! WINDGATE MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! MCKORMICK CONNECTS WITH ONLY CANVAS!
Jake Mercer: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THIS!
Stew-O: Windgate is back on his feet, he charges the nearest set of ropes and bounces off of them, now running towards McKormick!
Flannery McCoy: NOW HE CRASHES DOWN HARD ON MCKORMICK WITH A SENTON! MCKORMICK IS GRABBING HIS GUT AFTER ALL OF WINDGATES WEIGHT CAME CRASHING DOWN ON HIM!
Jake Mercer: ALL ONE HUNDRED POUNDS OF HIM! :troll:
Stew-O: NOW WINDGATE IS GOING TO THE TOP ROPE!
Flannery McCoy: HE FLIES OFF THE TOP ROPE, SHOOTING STAR PRESS! X-STAR!!!
Jake Mercer: NO! IT DOESN’T CONNECT! THIS TIME IT’S JASON MCKORMICK MOVING OUT OF THE WAY!
Stew-O: Jason McKormick rolls away while Justin Windgate rolls towards the rope, using them to help himself up.
Flannery McCoy: Look how fast McKormick recovered though! He european uppercuts Windgate back into the rope!
Stew-O: Windgate uses the momentum from the uppercut to bounce off the ropes and charge McKormick! NO- MCKORMICK SPEARS WINDGATE!
Jake Mercer: THAT SPEAR HAD TO HAVE SPLIT WINDGATE IN HALF!!
Flannery McCoy: Windgate is holding his stomach, McKormick has done a great deal of damage to the abdominal section of Justin Windgate and it’s starting to show!
Stew-O: Now McKormick is going for the pinfall! He looks to be putting Windgate away!
Referee: ONE!!!!!! TWO!!! THREEE!!!-
Jake Mercer: NO! WINDGATE KICKS OUT, I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER! I THOUGHT MCKORMICK HAD HIM!
Flannery McCoy: It’s far from over! Windgate may be small, but the kid has a lot of fight in him!
Stew-O: McKormick is pissed! He thought he had him!
Jake Mercer: Look at him yelling at the ref! You tell him, McKormick!
Flannery McCoy: Maybe he should focus on beating Windgate and not yelling at the referee! Windgate rolls him up!
Referee: ONE!!! TWO!!!!
Stew-O: This time it’s a kickout from McKormick! Windgate pops back up to his feet kick and delivers a hard kick slash to the chest of a sitting Jason McKormick, laying him back down!
Jake Mercer: Windgate is in laser focus! He’s really looking to put McKormick away as he’s heading towards the top rope again!
Flannery McCoy: You’ve got to respect the hustle! Windgate wasn’t successful the last time he went to the top, but that’s not stopping him from going right back to it!
Stew-O: He’s a daredevil, that’s for sure!
Jake Mercer: He hesitates, giving McKormick time to get to his feet- HE MOONSALTS ONTO THE STANDING JASON MCKORMICK, CRASHING DOWN TO THE MAT WITH HIM!
Flannery McCoy: BOTH MEN FLY ACROSS THE RING, SEPERATING! MCKORMICK ROLLS OUT OF THE RING TO BUY HIMSELF SOME MORE TIME!
Stew-O: McKormick is using our table in order to help himself up, meanwhile, inside the ring, Justin Windgate is once again using the ropes to elevate himself.
Jake Mercer: WINDGATE BOUNCES OFF OF THE OPPOSITE ROPES, HE LEAPS OVER THE TOP! A SENTON SENDS HIM INTO MCKORMICK, SENDING BOTH INTO OUR TABLE
(The commentary crew scatters different ways, avoiding the carnage.)
Stew-O: Now the referee, taking control of the chaos, starts to count both men out!
Referee: ONE! TWO!
Flannery McCoy: McKormick showing no signs of movement out here, we may need paramedics!
Jake Mercer: Don’t count him out yet!
Stew-O: Look! Windgate is already rolling off of him, trying to get to his feet!
Referee: THREE! FOUR!
Flannery McCoy: Now Justin Windgate is fully on his feet, barely stable, but on his feet nonetheless
Jake Mercer: Windgate grabs McKormick by his long hair and rolls him into the ring.
Stew-O: I think Windgate could have gotten the count out victory, if you ask me.
Referee: FIVE! SIX!
Flannery McCoy: He didn’t want the count out, he wants to pin McKormick!
Jake Mercer: Well then he better get in the ring!
Stew-O: Now Windgate stands on the apron, with McKormick’s head peeking under the rope!
Referee: SEVEN! EIGHT!
Flannery McCoy: A LEG DROP, THAT COULD HAVE DECAPITATED JASON MCKORMICK!
Stew-O: ALL OF HIS WEIGHT COMING DOWN ON THE HEAD AND NECK OF MCKORMICK!
Jake Mercer: And now Justin Windgate rolls into the ring, breaking the count.
Flannery McCoy: A new count starts though as Windgate covers McKormick
Referee: ONE! TWO!
Stew-O: KICKOUT AT TWO! I THOUGHT HE HAD HIM!
Jake Mercer: This is the first that McKormick has voluntarily moved since Windgate had sent him crashing into our table!
Flannery McCoy: Windgate doesn’t seem to be letting up, he’s pulling McKormick up to his feet!
Stew-O: McKormick is barely recovered, Windgate really wants to put him away!
Jake Mercer: SWINGING NECK BREAKER BY WINDGATE! IT TAKES BOTH MEN TO THEIR BACK AND WINDGATE NEEDS TO ALLOW HIMSELF SOME TIME TO RECOVER!
Flannery McCoy: Justin Windgate has been giving this match 110% intensity since his recent offense, high flying and not letting up!
Stew-O: It looks like his daredevil style has taken a toll on his own body as he rolls away from McKormick, and using the turnbuckles to support himself as he makes his way to his feet.
Jake Mercer: He can’t allow himself too much rest time, because it looks like McKormick is moving again, and he’s got to be pissed off that Windgate has been getting the best of him.
Flannery McCoy: Too late for that warning, McKormick is back on his feet!
Stew-O: McKormick storms Windgate head first, while Windgate rests on the turnbuckle, but WINDGATE GETS A FOOT UP, CONNECTING WITH MCKORMICK’S FACE!
Jake Mercer: This knocks McKormick back a few steps and once again, Windgate is headed to the top!
Flannery McCoy: He goes for another moonsault on the standing McKormick! This time he’s caught out of midair!
Stew-O: Oh no! McKormick just caught Windgate! Windgate’s in trouble now!
Jake Mercer: He tosses Windgate up in the air and lands a flying uppercut on Windgate!
Flannery McCoy: That had to have busted Windgate’s jaw!
Jake Mercer: Windgate is holding his mouth and recovering- NO MCKORMICK JUST PUNTED WINDGATE IN THE HEAD, SENDING HIM FLYING ACROSS THE RING!
Stew-O: WINDGATE HAS GONE LIMP! HE’S NOT MOVING!
Flannery McCoy: I THINK HE KILLED HIM, OH MY GOD!
Jake Mercer: I HOPE HE DID!
Stew-O: Oh no, it’s looking like McKormick is setting up for a curb stomp… Dinner Time!
Jake Mercer: MY FAVORITE TIME!
Flannery McCoy: NO! WINDGATE THINKS QUICK AND ROLLS OUT OF THE RING! MCKORMICK STOMPS ON THE CANVAS!
Stew-O: NOW WINDGATE GOING UP TO THE TOP, FROM THE OUTSIDE! MCKORMICK IS STUNNED!
Jake Mercer: A MOONSAULT CONNECTS, DROPPING MCKORMICK!
Flannery McCoy: WINDGATE ISN’T GOING TO ALLOW TIME FOR MCKORMICK TO RECOLLECT THIS TIME!
Stew-O: WINDGATE IS STALKING MCKORMICK AS HE SLOWLY GETS TO HIS FEET!
Jake Mercer: REVERSE CUTTER! LIGHTS OUT! IT CONNECTS!
Flannery McCoy: THE COVER!!!!
Referee: ONE!!!! TWO!!!! THREEE!!!!!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding)
Stew-O: What a win for Justin Windgate!
(“El Diablo” by Machine Gun Kelly hits and the referee raises the hand of Justin Windgate as the crowd cheers him on.)
Stephie Love: HEREEEE ISS YOUUUUURRR WINNNNNEERRRRRRR… JUUUUUUUUSTTIIIIIIIIIIN… WIIIIIIIIIIIIIINDGAAAAAAAATE!!!
Flannery McCoy: So, Jake… About the money in your wallet?
Jake Mercer: Ha! Jokes on you! I keep by money in my clutch!
Stew-O: You carry a clutch?
(We cut backstage as we see Drake King and Jake Smith standing side by side with Michael Belfort.)
Michael Belfort: Ladies and gentlemen I am joined side by side with Jake Smith and Drake King of The Round Table! Fellas, how are you two doing?
Jake Smith: We’ll, I’m ok. I don’t think Drake is seeing as he was attacked from behind by that dirtbag Cage last week following our big win over Jason McKormick and Ronan Malosi.
Drake King: I’ve seen better days. I’ll be fine. Cage won’t be when I get my hands back on him and slap him right across that arrogant face of his one more time.
Michael Belfort: Speaking of Cage, you are set to face him one on one at Operation: Doomsday in a street fight. What are your thoughts on this matter?
Drake King: I’m not mincing words when I say this; Cage is in big freaking trouble! I’m not taking what he did to me in our first match or last week lightly, either. I know who he is and what he is about. Cage told everyone he loves to be beaten, slapped, bitten, attacked. We’ll, I gave him what he loved most when I slapped in right in the mouth not once…but twice. He’s going to get much more than that a Operation: Doomsday when we cross paths, Mike.
Michael Belfort: As for you, Jake, what are your thoughts on Jack Ripley essentially saying you don’t deserve a title shot and that he can’t wait to shoot your single’s career down like your tag team career has been shot down?
Jake Smith: Wha-! He said all th-! Hm…Look, me and Drake King looked excellent last week when we decimated McKormick and Malosi. I even made them kneel and I got the win for us. Jack is talking tough, sounding like he thinks im the biggest underdog he could face and to that I say; suck a dick. I’m Jake Smith, I am the mightiest one, I am one half of The Round Table alongside Drake and we aren’t scared of any body on Dynasty.
Drake King: Or anybody in EAW in general.
???: Maybe you should be scared of your opponents tonight!
(Over walks all three members of Fatal Destiny as Celes Dumont is flanked by Miho-Li and Karina-Ann.)
Celes Dumont: You two are harping and chirping on about Cage and Ripley, that’s weeks ahead. You two need to watch Darcy May Morgan and Remi Skyfire. Those two are looking like an even better team then you two long haired, pretty boys. You saw how they did against Kassidy Heart and Serena Bennett last week, right?
Miho-Li: Or even how they concussed me cousin and had her doing weird things last week.
Karina-Ann: Like attacking Osamu during Miho’s match and forcing a DQ.
Celes Dumont: Look, I apologized before for that! I’m sorry Miho. I thought I was helping but maybe that was just the concussion blinding me to my actions.
Miho-L: I understand, Celes. But we all need to stick together and support Karina as she looks to get rid of Osamu for us once and for all!
Karina-Ann: That I will, because Fatal Destiny isn’t just
Jake Smith: Woah! Hey! Three fugly broads who talk too much! This is the Round Table’s interview! Scram before we put you two on the concussion protocol list along with Celes here!
Celes Dumont: Hey! You watch your mouth before I…
Miho-Li: Hold on, cousin! It’s alright! We will be keeping an eye on these two Jonas Brothers looking idiots when Darcy and Remi drop them on their heads. Then, maybe Fatal Destiny can take Jake’s National Elite title shot and we bring Jack Ripley’s gold home with us!
Drake King: Not a chance, losers!
(Fatal Destiny flee the scene as Drake and Jake are left with a confused Michael Belfort holding a microphone.
Jake Mercer: I guess Mike failed to do his job! Should have had me up there to ask them hard hitting questions like how did Jake grow his hair so long so quickly and what does Drake King thinks about the reddit thread “r/wrestlewiththeplot”.
Flannery McCoy: Or maybe we never do that.
(“Architects” by Rise Against hits and Eric Havoc makes his way to the ring looking determined, just as the week before. This time, however, his beautiful girlfriend Tara graces his side. She rubs the abs of Havoc and nods her head and the two begin making their way to the ring.)
Sophie Love: The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, hailing from Jacksonville, Florida and weighing in at 220 pounds, he is THE ONE! ERICCCCCC HAAAVOOOOOOOOC!
Jake Mercer: This man is coming off a big victory last week on a newcomer to Dynasty and tonight he’s looking to build on that momentum.
Stew-O: You’re not wrong. Don’t blink, ladies and gentleman, because this one could be over just as quick.
Flannery McCoy: Who’s this beauty this guy pulled?
Stew-O: Well we know this is Tara, Havoc’s girlfriend, and I spoke to Havoc and Tara a little bit earlier today and they told me Tara is just as serious about promoting real, talented competitors here in EAW rather than what they called a jobber such as his opponent tonight, Archimedes.
(“Applause” by Lady Gaga hits and the crowd stands to see the incoming Archimedes J. Mason. Archimedes makes his way down the ramp wearing colorful clothes resembling Spongey Steve Box Jorts and Clifton Starr colors. AJM begins throwing colored glitter on the audience, laughing on the way down the ramp. AJM has a microphone in his hand and it looks like he’s going to talk before the match begins. The camera cuts to the reaction of Eric Havoc, who looks furious.)
Sophie Love: AND HIS OPPONENT! Weighing in at 205 pounds, he is from the Divided States of Hysteria, he is the Animaniac, ARCHIMEDESSS J. MASOOONNNNNNNNN!
Jake Mercer: I really do think this guy is hilarious, I mean, where else are we going to get the brilliant parody of Spongy Steve Bo-
Stew-O: WATCH OUT! Eric Havoc almost just took Archimedes head off with a lariat before this match has even begun and he is not having any antics tonight, not going to let Archimedes get another word in. Havoc is now raining down stomps onto the abdomen of The Animaniac and he’s being absolutely ruthless here.
DING! DING! DING!
Jake Mercer: Well here we go, I guess! The bell has rung after Havoc just preemptively took out Archimedes and now he is on top of him pummeling him with lefts and rights. Come on, ref!
Ref: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! COME ON, KNOCK IT OFF!
Flannery McCoy: Well Havoc ends the pummeling and stands up thanks to the referee’s count and now he’s soaking in the reaction of this crowd. Havoc pulls Archimedes to his feet by his hair, grabbing him by the face.
Eric Havoc: (off mic) YOU. DON’T. BELONG HERE!
Jake Mercer: Jesus, that slap sent Archimedes flying backwards and Eric Havoc seems to be taking his time tonight, a lot more of a methodical strategy.
Stew-O: Havoc is back on the attack now, though, dragging Archimedes to his feet by his hair once again. Havoc grabs Archimedes by the throat… AND TOSSES HIM CLEAR ACROSS THE RING! Archimedes snaps back to his feet, Eric Havoc charges AND CONNECTS WITH A HUGE SPEAR! MY GOD! Havoc drops down and hooks the leg of AJM!
Flannery McCoy: No, a quick kick out by Archimedes keeps him in this match!
Jake Mercer: The man from the divided states of hysteria, the bringer of hilarity, is being whipped around like a rag doll right now. Impressive strength from Eric Havoc.
Flannery McCoy: Eric Havoc is motioning for Archimedes to get up, but he loses his patience as Archimedes is still recovering from that massive spear. Havoc once again assists AJM to his feet. Havoc Irish whips Archimedes toward the ropes, he looks for a lariat — BUT AJM DUCKS! — AJM comes back off the ropes once again but he leapfrogs right over Havoc. Once again using the ropes for momentum, AJM charges toward a flustered havoc who swings wildly with another lariat, but Archimedes dodges it once more. Archimedes stops in his tracks and Havoc turns around to meet him, but he’s too late as AJM BEGINS THROWING LEFTS AND RIGHTS!
Stew-O: These fists don’t seem to be doing a whole lot of damage here, but it looks like Archimedes might actually make a comeback here!
Flannery McCoy: Yes! Another left, another right, Eric Havoc is actually stumbling on his feet now. Archimedes notices and CONNECTS WITH A HUGE DROP-KICK! This knocks Havoc back toward the ropes. Archimedes signals to the crowd once again and he now CONNECTS with a super-kick! This brings Havoc to a single knee. Archimedes uses this time to begin climbing to the top turnbuckle. Look at this, Havoc is stumbling back to his vertical base, ARCHIMEDES IS GOING HIGH RISK! CROSS BODY?!?!
Jake Mercer: NOOOO! LOOK OUT, ANIMANIAC! HAVOC CAUGHT HIM!
Stew-O: HAVOC DRIVES ARCHIMEDES INTO THE MAT WITH A HUGE SPINEBUSTER! WHAT FORCE!
Flannery McCoy: He’s looking to end it right here! This is it, he covers him!
Jake Mercer: YES, KICK-OUT! GAFFES AND LAUGHS SURVIVE!
Stew-O: I think my ears are bleeding because Tara, Havoc’s girlfriend, is screaming at the top of her lungs. She can’t believe Archimedes is still in this after that huge spine buster. She’s now screaming at Havoc to end him! Could that mean…
Flannery McCoy: Eric Havoc makes his way back to his feet and immediately begins stomping on Archimedes. Havoc bends down to once again mercilessly drag AJM up to his fee-
Jake Mercer: SMALL PACKAGE! SMALL PACKAGE! ARCHIMEDES HOOKS HAVOC!
Stew-O: NO! NO! NO! Havoc kicks out, and I thought it was over for sure! Archimedes almost ended this out of nowhere!
Jake Mercer: Look at Havoc’s face! He can’t believe it!
Flannery McCoy: Eric Havoc springs into action and grabs Archimedes’ arm. AJM tries to fight him off with a few strikes, but Havoc retaliates with a huge uppercut which sends Archimedes stumbling to the ground.
Tara: (off mic) KILL THAT JOBBER! END IT NOW!
Jake Mercer: Wow, she’s ruthless!
Flannery McCoy: It looks like Eric Havoc has had it with the games. Havoc is hammering AJM with stiff forearms in the corner. Wait, what’s he doing?! OH MY GOD, ARE WE GOING TO SEE ANOTHER CHAOS DRIVER?!??!
Stew-O: Havoc is lifting Archimedes into the electric chair position… and now he’s climbing the ropes! This is an incredibly dangerous maneuver which could have long standing impact. HE’S ALMOST REACHED THE TOP!
Tara: (off mic) DO IT! END IT!
Flannery McCoy: Watch out, he’s about to hit the CHAOS DRIVER! Wait a minute!
Jake Mercer: HE’S ALIVE ONCE AGAIN! Archimedes, on the shoulders of Havoc, drives several fists into his temple. Look out, Archimedes twists around, into powerbomb position……
Flannery McCoy: AND ARCHIMEDES CONNECTS WITH A HURRICANRANA OFF THE TOP ROPE ONTO ERIC HAVOC FROM THE TOP ROPE!
Stew-O: A huge counter! But Eric Havoc looks unfazed as he bounces right back to his feet! He runs toward Archimedes, but Archimedes dives out of the way of a huge lariat… LOOK OUT, ARCHIMEDES TAKES ADVANTAGE AND ROLLS UP HAVOC! WAIT, ARCHIMEDES IS HOLDING THE ROPE AND IS STACKED ON TOP OF HAVOC! TARA IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RING!
Jake Mercer: OH. MY. GOD. TARA IS RUNNING TO TRY AND SAVE HER BOO!
Flannery McCoy: HE DID IT!
DING! DING! DING!
Jake Mercer: THE ANIMANIAC WINS! A CELEBRATION BIKINI BOTTOM!
Stew-O: We have to watch a replay of that. Look now as Archimedes rolls Havoc up after he miscalculated on that lariat. AJM dived out of the way and as Havoc was facing the other way, he rolls him up… and watch… he grabs the rope for leverage!
Flannery McCoy: You can see as Tara, the girlfriend and manager of Havoc, runs to his aid. She got there just at the count of three and struggled to try and knock the hand of Archimedes off the rope to stop the leverage.
(Archimedes escapes the ring quickly as the camera zooms in on Havoc, sitting next to the ropes, looking down the ramp at him with rage. Spit is coming out of the mouth of Havoc as Tara tries to calm him down.)
Jake Mercer: Well, I have a feeling this won’t be the last we see of these two together, but what a win for Archimedes! And a win for real comedy!
Flannery McCoy: Right…. well, I’m not sure I agree with the method, but after we saw Havoc absolutely annihilate his opponent last week, this certainly was a positive result for the Animaniac, Archimedes J. Mason
(We cut to the lonely stairwell in the bowels of the arena. A lit cigarette appears as we see a man covered in hair move his locks from his eyes and reveal himself.)
Darkane: Each chapter in this business is marked by highs and lows before we can close them. My chapter last season closed unceremoniously and I didn’t achieve what I wanted. I didn’t cry, moan, or piss myself. I sat back and waited. I spoke to each and every member of this roster the week following the draft and I spoke as true as I ever could. I told each and every insignificant bed wetter that crawls out of their cot and tries their hand at my profession that I am prepared for anything and everything. I also made a suggestion to you all; be prepared for me as well. Apparently, TLA was not prepared for me. Apparently neither was his whore he threw at me last week at his god awful palace.
(Darkane takes another puff of the cig and continues on.)
Darkane: I spoke candidly about quite a few people. Kassidy Heart-Adams, Diamond Cage, Serena Bennett, Imp…TLA wasn’t anybody special to be chastising me for chastising him. Nope, he just so happened to be the one who was so emotional about me venting that he felt he needed to see me face to face and ask for an answer. His people got in contact with me and invited me for a sit down interview. Shame for me on assuming he would take my words seriously and ask me man to man how I felt and tell me man to man how he felt and then we could figure out how to handle our disagreement as two men.
(Another pull from the cigarette, Darkane continues speaking.)
Darkane: Instead, he proceeded to mock me and everything I stand for. Silly shit to be honest. I know I’ve been a humorous guy at times but when it comes to square business, life or death, one on one disagreements, I know they can only be resolved with hand to hand combat. I expected a challenge and instead I got a charade. So, I responded to his jokes with a joke of my own. I don’t know about anybody else but I did enjoy that. I laughed inside my soul after I turned Michelle in to Michelin after turning your whore’s face in to roadkill. Meaning, TLA…I beat that prostitute you have on your payroll and left you huddled next to her trying to save her. Why did I do this? Why? Well, because that was my warning to you.
(Darkane chucks the cig as the flame dies out as it goes by.)
Darkane: At Operation: Doomsday, you better be prepared. I told you once, I’m telling you again. I hope for your sake, that dumb dog, and any more messicans you have by your side that get in involved take what I did to Michelle as a sign to stay back going forward. You heard me tell everyone that i have smaller fish to fry before I make my way back to Impact and you swam right in to the grease, TLA. These hands are going to wrap around your throat and rip every bone inside your neck right out and I’m going to take a shower in your blood at Operation: Doomsday. You keep being referred to as a future world champion yet I don’t see that at all.
(Darkane lifts his head and stares right into the camera.)
Darkane: Want to know what I see when I look at TLA? A joke. A comedian. A guy that’s only here to make us laugh, humor us, wear thongs when cutting promos with those Ava sisters. A cunt that recreates Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas memes only to lose when the biggest match of his career is placed in front of him. I see a cartoon character who shouldn’t be as popular as he is. A guy that should be mingling with the Archimedes J. Manson’s of this world. A guy who is on the midcard who should never been given so much respect by this company to even be allowed back after being fired the first time. I see a wasted roster spot with a stupid Mexican flag as his symbol. A low rider driving stereotype who is about to swap hands with the meanest, most diabolical man in this company. You hear these words more intently then you did those previous ones you chicano shit stain. I am going to harm you in ways you haven’t seen since your mother cut her wrist on that barbed wire when she hopped the border to even come here, TLA.
(Darkane snarls, part of his face twitches before he goes back to his somber motif.)
Darkane: I’m going to burn you and that fucking palace of yours to ashes and dust, TLA. You hear me? Ashes and dusts. I will bury you my little mexican. And your little dog, too.
(The camera fades as we cut away from Darkane and back to the announcers.)
Stew-O: Chilling words from Darkane as he essentially announced right there that he wants TLA one on one at Operation: Doomsday!
Flannery McCoy: This card is shaping up to be a wild one, guys!
Jake Mercer: Has TLA gives us any updates on poor goth poon? I was hoping she would be alright maybe Me and Gavin could have used that discount and had us a good old fashioned train on
Flannery McCoy: Oh my god…
Jake Mercer: In Japan Pro Extreme Wrestling, running trains with announcers is a sign of respect and love amongst peers. Flannery, you down?
Flannery McCoy: …
Jake Mercer: Stew-O?
Jake Mercer: We will never build chemistry if we keep distancing ourselves from each other, guys! Guys?!
Stephie Love: The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first…
(‘Sensei’ by Dastik plays as Osamu Arcichida makes his way down the ramp.)
Stew-O: Osamu looking confident tonight before his match with Karina-Ann, he does have the size advantage, but that’s not everything in-
Flannery McCoy: LOOK OUT! THe Fatal Destiny, Celes and Karina, attacked Osamu from behind! Celes and Karina are beating him down as the official tells Stephie to leave the ring, and calls for the bell!
(DING DING DING!)
Stew-O: Look at that, as soon as the bell rung Celes backed away, avoiding the disqualification! Karina is laying in forearms to Osamu before rolling him into the ring. Arcichida is having trouble as he is still tangled in his ring coat, but Karina isn’t hampered at all as she drives the heel of her boot into his solar plexus, driving the breath out of him!
Flannery McCoy: The official is starting to restore order and finally Osamu has a chance to untangle himself from his coat before rushing forward and leveling Karina with a running back elbow. The Siren assassin is nearly turned inside out with that move as Oasmu has immediately turned the momentum back in his favor. Karina is struggling to regain her feet as Osamu drops an elbow across her back, driving her back to the mat. As he does, Celes slaps the mat in anger, drawing Oasmu’s attention.
Stew-O: Arcichida gestures to Karina struggling to lift herself and laughs at Celes as he straddles his opponents back and grabs the top of her head, pulling her neck at a nasty looking angle! Celes can’t do anything but look on as Osamu wraps a forearm across Karina’s face before pushing her face back into the mat. Celes is seething as Osamu looks to continue the methodical destruction of Karina before her. The momentary distraction may have cost him, though, Karina skips out of Osamu’s grasp and d\rives her heel into the back of his knee, sending him to the mat holding his knee in pain! Karina hits the ropes…Headscissors takedown! Osamu quickly rolls out of the ring to regain his bearings, but Karina is hot on his trail!
Jake Mercer: Osamu needs to remember this unfortunately isn’t Japan, he doesn’t have the traditional twenty count afforded Puroresu competitors!
Flannery McCoy: He’s been in EAW for a while, he knows we do a ten count…Celes is getting dangerously close to Osamu, though, he needs to be aware of her. The numbers game is going to come into play many times here tonight, I think, Celes and Karina are a veteran team…CASE IN POINT! Celes had distracted samu long enough for Karina to evade the referee and land a baseball slide kick! Osamu is sent sprawling into the barricade! Karina pulls Osamu to his feet and moves to roll him back into the ring…NO! Osamu counters by rushing forward, driving her spine into the ring apron! Laughing at her agony, he rolls Karina into the ring as the referee checks to make sure he can continue!
Stew-O: Celes with the forearm! Osamu had his back turned and she capitalized! Osamu gives her a look, what’s he thinking here…? LOOK OUT! Osamu with the poison mist! Celes drops to the mat in agony! Satisfied that he’s evened the odds, Osamu rolls into the ring where Karina is waiting, holding her back in agony. She ducks beneath Arcichida as he goes for a collar and elbow, and catches a rear waist lock. Osamu tries to break the hold, but Karina pops her hips and somehow manages to lift Osamu off his feet with a German Suplex!
Jake Mercer: Considering it’s source, I would call it a Canadian Suplex…
Flannery McCoy: You’re the absolute worst. Karina runs forward and catches a bulldog as Osamu was trying to stand, driving him face first to the mat! Standing at his head, she kicks her leg high and grabs the foot before dropping into a split leg drop! Osamu took the leg of Karina right across his throat! She goes for the pin!
Referee: ONE! TWO!
Flannery McCoy: Kickout! Osamu is still in this! Karina takes him by the head and drags Osamu to the corner pulling back to slam him face first into the turnbuckle! Osamu blocks it, though, getting his hands up to halt the forward progress. He grabs a handful of Karina’s hair and slams her hard into the turnbuckle, dropping her in a heap to the mat! Osamu slides outside the ring and grabs Karina’s leg, looks like he might be looking to wrap it around the ring post…HE DOES! Karina cries out in pain as she reaches for her leg! He pulls back to do it again…*CRACK*
(DING DING DING!)
Stew-O: It was blatant, right in front of the official, but Celes blindsided Osamu with a steel chair! Look at the rage in her face as she wipes the mist from her eyes! She throws the chair down and kicks Osamu in the side of the head hard, rocking him even more! Karina is still down, holding her knee, as the action continues on the outside. Celes pulls him to his feet….DEVIL TRIGGER! Osamu is leveled with the roundhouse! He drops to the floor as Celes rolls into the ring and checks on Karina who is holding her knee in agony! The Siren Assassin clutches to her friend who is threatens the official as they were trying to help…looks like that knee might be injured a bit.
Flannery McCoy: The Fatal Destiny may have lost the match, but it’s not unfair to say they won the war, Celes’ face is covered in mist and Karina can barely stand bu-HOLY SHIT! OSAMU FLATTENED CELES WITH THE CHAIR! Dumont is not moving, ladies and gentlemen, remember not too long ago she was diagnosed with a concussion and prohibited from wrestling…this could be bad!
(Osamu drops the chair and laughs to himself as he holds his arms up in victory and his theme begins playing.)
Stew-O: We need help down here right away, Celes isn’t moving at all!
(A medical team rushes to ringside as Osamu celebrates and Karina is checking on Celes. A brief commercial break is shown as an ad for Vic Venom Surfboards is shown. “Surfs up, yo” is said as he catches a big wave. We cut to the ring as Stephie Love is about to speak.)
Stephie Love: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!
( “Ronin” by Within the ruins starts up over the arena speakers speakers as Vic Venom steps out past the curtain.)
Stephie Love: Introducing first, from Oslo, Norway, weighing in at 225 pounds, THE MORNING STAR…. VVVVVVVVIIIIIICCCCCC VVVVVVVEEEEENNNNNNNNOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!
Stew: It was an interesting turn of events concerning Vic Venom and former new breed champion Sosa Henderson. Sosa straight up jacked Vic’s cell phone and wallet and when venom confronted him, Henderson high tailed it out of the building with Vic in hot pursuit!
Jake: I hope he got a new lock for his locker, otherwise who knows what Sosa might take next?
Flannery: I just hope that he has his mind on this match and not on Sosa Henderson, otherwise this one could be over quicker than you can say blueberry pie.
( Venom enters the ring, he gets in a few last minute stretches to loosen up his hips and hamstrings for The Legacy. As he does his music fades out and in its place “Smells Like teen Spirit” by Nirvana hits to which the crowd responds with a huge ovation.)
Stephie Love: and his opponent, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, Weighing In at 227 pounds, THE EDGECRUSHER… CCCCCAAAAGGGGGGEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
( the crowd goes into a full on frenzy as cage steps out past the curtain.)
Stew: This man here has never been one to take being assaulted lightly, and you heard the challenge he laid down to Drake King last week, and in street fight I wouldn’t even try to imagine everything that is racing though the head of cage. All the different weapons he could pull out, all the ways he can inflict pain and punishment!
Jake: That mad man outta be locked away! Facing Cage in a street fight should be considered cruel and unusual punishment! But I’ll tell you all this right now, I have a feeling that Drake King has a much crueler and sadistic side than we’ve seen from him thus far, and you know he may just be the kind of king who will epicure Cage himself in front of the whole world.
Flannery: I have a feeling that Drake is gonna regret assaulting Cage a few weeks ago, because win, lose, or draw, Drake will be in for a hard day’s night that’s for damn sure.
(Cage rolls into the ring under the bottom rope, he gets up to his feet and after asking if he’s ready the referee calls the bell.)
DING DING DING!
Stew: this one underway, and despite all the drama surrounding these two competitors, this match has all the makings of a hotly contested clinic! Both men standing in the center of the ring, collar and elbow tie up and both men jockeying for position! Venom gets a side headlock, now transitions into a hammerlock! Cage finding a backdoor and now gets a hammerlock of his own, Venom reaching back and is able to take Cage over down to the mat with a modified snapmare! Impressive chain wrestling against the veteran here as Cage tried to fight his way up and out of the rear chinlock, Cage back to his feet, he breaks the hold and keep control of the wrist, he gets an arm wringer… BITCH MAKER!! Oh what a slap right across the jaw of Vic Venom!
Jake: Venom’s jaw hanging open, I don’t think he was quite expecting that and the ones you don’t see coming always hurt the most! But Vic looks Angered by that shot, THE LEGACY!!! OH IT MISSES! Vic trying to catch Cage off guard with that black mass heel kick, but Cage backing just out of range on that one!
Flannery: That kick came inches away from cage’s face! AND CAGE NOW WITH A TACKLE! both of these two rolling around in the mat laying in with right hands to the face! Cage getting the advantage with the mounted position and wales away with a flurry of punches! The referee breaking it up because of those closed fists! Cage not allowing any breathing room as he drops a knee right to the head, AND HEY CAGE IS NOW BITING AT VENOM! Vic fighting away from Cage and back to his feet, cage lands another right hand to the skull, Venom Answers back with a shoot kick to the ribs! That one hurting Cage as he’s clearly wincing from the pain! Venom with another kick and that one has Cage against the ropes! Venom charging at Cage looking for a clothesline, BUT CAGE COUNTERS WITH A BACK BODY DROP THAT SENDS VIC ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FLOOR!!!
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Stew: venom getting up a little gingerly, he seems to have landed the wrong way and those educated feet of his may have been compromised! Venom trying to work out the kinks in that leg-SUICIDE DIVE!!! CAGE JUST LAUNCHING HIMSELF LIKE A MISSILE AT VIC VENOM DRIVING HIM INTO THE GUARDRAIL!! Venom nearly had his sternum crushed from the impact of that one! Both men on the outside, Cage back to his feet quickly while the only thing holding up Vic is that guard rail! Cage rolling back inside the ring and immediately hits the far side ropes, Cage sprinting full speed ahead… ANOTHER SUICIDE DIVE!!!
Jake: Venom collapses from the impact of that second dive, but Cage with that wild energy he possesses not letting him rest on the floor as he drags him up by the head and rolls him back into the ring! Cage with the first cover of this match! Will it be enough?!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTWWWOOOO!!!
Flannery: Vic getting the shoulder up! Cage staying on the attack as he scoops venom up onto his shoulders, Ushigoroshi!! No Venom slipping behind Cage, Venom with a hook kick! Literally Cage didn’t see that coming! Cage shaken a bit from that kick, Venom turns him around, AND LANDS A SERIES OF BLOWS! VIC-TORY!!! Venom skipping going for the cover, instead he sprints to the ropes and springboards up to the top! DOUBLE V!!! MISSES!! Cage rolling out of the way!
Jake: speaking of rolling, Vic Venom is clutching at his ankle, he may have come down the wrong way on that one! Cage sensing blood in the water, from behind gets a waist lock, Venom with a stiff back elbow following with a standing switch, and what a German Suplex! Venom with the bridge!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTWWWWWOOOOO!!!!
Stew: oh that ankle gave out, and now you have wonder how Vic Venom land the Legacy if he cannot stand?! Both men getting back to their feet, a noticeable limp on Venom as Cage connects with a right hand! Another right lands! A third followed by an Irish whip, SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT PRESS!!! Venom with a huge move out of nowhere!
Jake: but he made the mistake of not taking advantage with a cover! Instead he waits as Cage starts to stir, Cage back to his knees, Shining Wiza-ANKLE LOCK!! THE VETERAN CAGE WITH ONE HELL OF A CRAFTY COUNTER AS HE HAS THAT ANKLE TWISTING IN AN UNNATURAL POSITION! Venom flailing around! Cage standing up to add more torque to that move! Vice screaming in pain as the referee checks if he wants to submit…. NO! Venom it giving up here! Venom trying to crawl to the ropes, But cage dragging him back towards the center of the ring, Vic has got to be in agony as the ligaments in the ankle are being stretched to their breaking point! Vic trying to fight out of this hold…. AND VENOM ABLE TO ROLL THROUGH SENDING CAGE OUT OF THE RING TO THE ARENA FLOOR!
Flannery: Cage taking a bad spill out of the ring, he went head first through the ropes. Cage getting back to his feet, now up to the apron, Oh my! Vic Venom with a huge knee strike! Cage tumbling back down to the floor! Venom unable to put any weight on that leg however, and he collapses down to the mat! Vic obviously in a lot of pain here as he rolls out onto the ring apron. Cage back up and goes right after that ankle smashing it against the apron! That’s the hardest part of the ring, and you can tell that it is by the pained expression on the face Of Vic Venom. Cage climbing onto the apro-and no you’ve got to be kidding me?! Cage setting up Welcome to Canada Motherfucker on the apron! He’s gonna splat Venom across the floor, Cage has those double underhooks, don’t do it Cage!
Cage ( off mic, at camera): this is for you Drake!
Stew: Cage lifting, but venom threading his leg inside the ropes to block it! Cage with several hard shots to the back that force Vic down to a knee! Cage now with a boot to the face that has Venom down on the arena floor! Cage now climbing up to the middle rope, what I. The world is he thinking? Vic using the guardrail to get back to his feet, Cage leaps… DIVING ELBOW DROP!!! Cage catching the point of that elbow right across the head of Vic Venom!
Ref: 1! 2! 3! 4!
Jake: Cage picking up venom and rolling him into the ring, makes the cover, leg is hooked!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTWWWWOOOOOO!!!! TTTTHHHR- KICKOUT!!
Jake: Venom gets the shoulder up, but personally I think that’s a mistake, he should have just let the ref count three and live to fight another day!
Flannery: Well there are few in EAW who I think would agree with your sentiment, especially someone in there who has the chance to prove himself against someone as decorated as Cage.
Stew: Vic being dragged off the mat, but fighting back with a forearm to the ribs! Another! A third! Vic sprinting towards the far side ropes, AND THAT LEG JUST GAVE OUT IN HIM! Vic Venom down on a knee trying to get back up, CURBSTOMP!!!
Cage( off mic): IDIOT!
Stew: Venom dazed from that last one, but still trying to fight to his feet! ANOTHER CURBSTOMP!!
Cage (off mic): IDIOT!
Jake: Venom nearly out of it, barely on both knees, A THIRD CURBSTOMP!! What force behind that last one! Cage with a cover!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTWWWWOOOOO!!!! TTTTHHHHRRRREEEE!!!
Flannery: HOW DID VIC VENOM GET THE SHOULDER UP ON THAT ONE?!? Cage in disbelief as this match continues! Cage picking Venom up off the canvas, and sends him crashing back down with a scoop slam! Cage stepping over Vic as he heads to the outside, and scales the turnbuckles! Vic motionless as Cage is perched up on the top rope… DIVING HEADBUTT!!! VENOM MOVED OUT OF THE WAY AT THE LAST SECOND AND CAGE CRASHES AND BURNS ON THAT ONE!!! I don’t have a clue as to how Vic had the wherewithal to even know where he was after having his head driven into the mat from the idiot stampede!
Stew: both men slow to their feet, Cage up first and going on the attack as he grabs Vic by the head… MORNING STAR!!!! CODE BREAKER CONNECTS SENDING CAGE FLYING BACKWARDS TO THE MAT!!! Vic crawling across the canvas, dragging himself towards Cage… Venom inching his way… and is able to drape his arm across the chest of Cage!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTWWWWOOOOOOO!!! TTTTHHHHHRRRREEEE-
Jake: CAGE GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPE AND THE REFEREE CALLS FOR A BREAK! Again the veteran instincts of the former world champion coming into play here! Venom on one leg, he’s fought as hard as he can against an amazing competitor and you have to give the kid props as he raises Cage to his feet, Vic with an Irish whip, Cage reverses, Venom springboards off the middle rope… VVVVVEEEEENNNNNOOOOMMMM 2.OHMY GOD! COQUINA CLUTCH!!! CAGE HAS THE REAR NAKED CHOKE CINCHED IN!!!
Flannery: VENOM TRYING TO KEEP HIS VERTICAL BASE AS CAGE CUTS OFF HIS AIR SUPPLY! VIC LOOKS TO BE FADING… THE REFEREE ASKING IF HE WANTS TO CALL IT! VENOM WITH A FAR AWAY LOOK IN HIS EYES!!
Stew: HEY LOOK VIC REACHING OUT WITH HIS FOOT… TRYING TO PUSH OFF THE TURNBUCKLES… AND VENOM NOW ON TOP, CAGE’S SHOULDERS ARE DOWN!!!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!!! TTTTTWWWWOOOOOO!!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“Ronin” by Within the Ruins plays as Cage shoves Venom off him and both men roll on to their knees.)
Stephie Love: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…VIC VENOM!!!
Stew-O: Venom does it with the huge upset over a former World champion!
Flannery McCoy: He came close against Malcolm Jones, close against Noah Reigner, but what a huge win for Vic Venom!
Jake Mercer: Cage fought hard but let’s hope this isn’t a preview to his street fight with Drake King at Operation: Doomsday!
(Cage slaps the ring mat as he stares over at Vic Venom gasping for air and getting his hand raised. Cage is on his knees, off to the side as the in arena fans are going crazy. Someone slide in the ring, holding a weapon…)
Stew-O: MY GOD! STEEL CHAIR SHOT TO THE BACK OF VIC VENOM’S SKULL! VIC ROLLS OUT OF THE RING, CLUTCHING THE BACK OF HIS HEAD AS…ITS DRAKE! DRAKE KING IS IN THE RING WITH A STEEL CHAIR! WAIT! CRACK!
Flannery McCoy: MY GOODNESS! STEEL CHAIR SHOT TO THE SKULL OF CAGE! DRAKE KING IS BASHING CAGE’S SKULL WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR! OVER AND OVER AGAIN!
Jake Mercer: The referee is using all his strength to pry Drake off of Cage but it’s nothing he can do!
Stew-O: Cage is face down and Drake is winding up and SMACKING that steel chair to the back of his head over and over again! God! Blood is pouring out of Cage’s mouth!
Flannery McCoy: Drake is getting revenge for that attack last week by Cage but he looks to be going way too far, guys! He isn’t slowing down at all as
Jake Mercer: VIC VENOM IS BACK IN THE RING! VIC SHOVE KING OUT OF THE WAY AS THE REFEREE SLIDE DOWN AND COVERS CAGE’S BLOODY HEAD! Drake backs up, he winds up the chair again…
Flannery McCoy: LEGACY KICK TO THE CHAIR AS IT FLIES OUT OF DRAKE’S HANDS! VENOM IS STANDING FACE TO FACE WITH DRAKE AS DRAKE IS NO WEAPONLESS!
Stew-O: VIC AND DRAKE ARE STARING AT EACH OTHER IN THE EYES AS VENOM ISN’T BACKING DOWN FROM KING AT ALL!
Drake King (off mic): This isn’t you business, get out of my way!
Vic Venom (off mic): You made it my business when you hit me with that damn chair! Try it now! Hit me!
(Drake peels around Vic and sees Cage is out cold, severely hurt, bleeding profusely.)
Drake King (off mic): …My work here is done…
Stew-O: Drake is leaving the ring! The fans are so upset, they are throwing trash at him as he slides out of the ring and heads up the ramp. Vic became an impromptu bodyguard for Cage by interfering with this assault but the damage may have been done. I don’t think Cage is going to be wrestling any time soon.
Jake Mercer: Drake King May have just ruined one of our Operation: Doomsday match ups with that brutality he displayed!
(We open up just outside StarrStan’s office as we see Provencal and Landerson outside looking anxious.)
Landerson: I want World championship match.
Provencal: I earned World championship, I won last time.
Landerson: No, I won. I winner.
Provencal: I won. You not win. I won.
Landerson: I pinned RAYBAO.
Provencal: No, I pinned Rumpke.
Landerson: I defeated Black Sheep, badly.
Provencal: Which one did we even face?
Landerson: Doesn’t matter, I won.
Provencal: I won as well. I won.
Osamu Arcichida: My god, why are you both just out here bickering like some school kids?
(Osamu Arcichida appears as fans begin booing.)
Osamu Arcichida: Where is StarrStan? I need to see that bald man and figure out what exactly has afforded me the painful luxury of having to deal with Fatal Destiny and their concussed leader these past few weeks? I am a former National Elite champion and I deserve another shot over that loser Jake Smith!
Landerson: But you lost your last title shot at Pain for Pride XII marquee event ppv.
Provencal: Yeah, you lost that title shot match.
Provencal: Yea, you lost. Meanwhile, we won our match.
Osamu Arcichida: Yeah, so? I’m still better than each and everyone on this moronic show! I’m better than you and you! I am sick and tired of being marginalized with you weak links!
Provencal: But you stay being beat up. You beat Miho and whatever but you stay getting beat up.
Landerson: Like, all the time.
Osamu Arcichida: I don’t know what you two have been seeing but maybe I need to spray some mist in your French face and your mask covered one and let you see what Celes Dumont, Damon Diesel, and anybody that disrespects the Orchestrator sees!
StarrStan: My god! What’s going on now?
(StarrStan appears, looking visibly frustrated at the commotion.)
Provencal: Oh my, yes! StarrStan! I won last time I have match and
Landerson: Yea. I won last match I had also.
Provencal: So Landerson and I have settled on this. Me vs Landerson and winner gets World Championship title shot, yes.
Landerson: Here comes the
Osamu Arcichida: Hold on! How the hell can these fourth wall breakers just make themselves title shots? Do they both have GAWD contracts?
Landerson: Boom, Tell them Vizzy
StarrStan: LOOK! Osamu has…a point, I guess. I love you Provencal and of course I adore you Landerson.
StarrStan: But, I can’t just give you guys a World title shot just because you two have an issue with each other. Next week, we get the match we all want…Provencal vs El Landerson! Winner takes all!
Provencal: But I already winner, I take all now?
Landerson: I take what he take.
Provencal: No, you cannot take what I take. I have kids.
Landerson: I have wins.
Provencal: I have children.
Landerson: I have the boom. I give you the boom, Osamu the boom, then Impact and or Kassidy Heart the boom. Ye.
Osamu Arcichida: Oh my god…whatever! Look, I want to know what’s going on for me at Operation: Doomsday by next week, StarrStan. No fucking kiddie games, ok?
Landerson: Here comes the boom.
Provencal: …I really was the winner.
Landerson: No I was the-
(We finally cut away from the backstage area as we see the announce team again.)
Stew-O: Big opportunity for some of these EAW elitist come Operation: Doomsday!
Flannery McCoy: A lot of madness is on StarrStan’s plate but lets see if he can keep everything and everyone satisfied!
Jake Mercer: So wait, can I enter this battle royal and get myself a shot at the tag titles? I know Remi and Darcy are solid but maybe me and the Dropkick Darling can take Heavenly Hell out!
Stephie Love: Our next contest is scheduled for
Crowd: ONE FALL!!
Stephie Love: and it is a TAG TEAM MATCH!
(“Resistance” by Skillet plays and out walks Drake King and Jake Smith side by side as fans begin to boo.)
Stephie Love: At a combined weight of 430 pounds…from Brooklyn, New York… and from Venice, California…Jake Smith and Drake King…THE ROOOOOUND TAAAAABLE!!!
Stew-O: Momentum is looking high for these two after they beat Ronan Malosi and Jason McKormick last week but afterwards, Drake King was assaulted by Diamond Cage at ringside!
Jake Mercer: Yeah and Jack Ripley dissed Jake Smith like Pusha T did Aubrey Graham! These two are headed to Operation: Doomsday with momentum but will it be enough to bring gold and redemption to The Round Table?
(Drake and Jake slide in the ring as their music fades. “Space lord” by Monster Magnet plays as out steps Remi Skyfire and Darcy May Morgan side by side as the crowd roars.)
Crowd: RE-MI! DAR-CY MAY! RE-MI! DAR-CY MAY! RE-MI! DAR-CY MAY!
Stephie Love: On their way to the ring…weighing in at a combined weight of 280 pounds…from Kent, United Kingdom and from Somerset, Kentucky…REMI SKYFIRE AND DARCY MAY MORGAN!
Stew-O: Closer than most, Remi and Darcy May both looked to upset Kassidy Heart and Serena Bennett last week on Dynasty but both came up short. Both women could possibly be inline for a title shot against either woman or many other viable championship holders if their time arises. The consistently they have shown since this season began has clearly given StarrStan some confidence in them also as a tag team.
Flannery McCoy: I love seeing these two together, they have built such amazing chemistry in such a short time together!
Jake Mercer: Yeah but can that sustain them and help them defeat Jake and Drake here tonight?!
(Darcy is helped to the ring by Remi and DMM helps her enter by holding the rope for her. Both women stand in their corner as Drake King taps Jake and lets him know he will be the one starting things off. Remi looks at Darcy who gives her a nod and she herself lets it known that Skyfire will be the one starting things off for their team.)
Stew-O: We see Remi Skyfire and Drake King eyeing each other as Darcy and Jake stand on the aprons. Remi is charged by Drake and they lock up in the center of the ring.
Flannery McCoy: Jake
Jake Mercer: Yes, Pawgy Mc Coy Coy?
Jake Mercer: That’s you nickname on thecoli.com! You should see the dedication they have of you!
Flannery McCoy: Nevermind…Anyway, Remi is caught in a headlock as she shoves away Drake King towards the ropes. Drake bounces the ropes and charges Remi who sideswipes him and runs to the ropes herself to his left. As King returns to the center of the ring, Skyfire leaps…BULLDOG as she runs and catches Drake midway. Remi is on King now, forearm strikes as he fights to get to his feet. Drake shoves her back and gets up but Remi charges at him once again. SHOTGUN DROPKICK…NO! Drake moves out the way as Skyfire crashes to the mat. King is on her and ELBOW DROP TO THE RIB CAGE! Drake lifts Remi up to her feet as he underhooks her and HIP TOSS SENDS HER BACK TO THE MAT AGAIN!
Stew-O: Former Interwire Cha
Jake Mercer: INTERWIRE KANG AS MY FAVORITE DISCORD CHAT LOVED TO CALL HIM!
Stew-O: Yes, he is the former Interwire “Kang” and he is now on his feet. Drake stomps away at Remi before getting her up again. He irish whips her as she bounces off the ropes, ARM DRAG DROPS HER ONCE MORE AS DRAKE IS IN FULL CONTROL! Drake King has Remi on her back and still is holding her arm. Arm bar by Drake as Remi squirms. Remi is fighting as Drake twists her arm around in a way it should not be bent as Darcy May Morgan pleads for her to fight back!
Flannery McCoy: And she does! KICK to the side of the face as Drake loosens his grip. Another kick as Remi begins to wiggle away. BIG KICK to the temple as Drake King lets go of the arm bar and falls to the mat clutching the side of his head. Remi smirks before hitting the nearby ropes and dropping an elbow across Drake’s sternum.
Stew-O: Remember, Remi is extremely dangerous with her strikes, particularly her kicks. Drake is feeling the result of years of training right now as Remi pulls him to standing…quick shot to the midsection stops her mid move though. One more for good measure then King follows up with a forearm flush to the jaw before hooking Remi’s tights and delivering a snap suplex.
Flannery McCoy: Remi needs to start mounting some offense here, momentum is a real thing and all the more so when your opponent has the weight advantage on you that Drake does. As Remi returns to her feet, Drake whips her to the ropes…Skyfire with the flying forearm off the rebound, and Drake is down! Kick to the gut from Remi throws Drake off balance long enough for a headlock takedown, which she follows through with by applying a rear chin lock. It’s cinched in deep as Drake groans in pain and reaches for the ropes!
Stew-O: Dracy is slapping the turnbuckle, doing her best to get the crowd behind Remi, as her partner is really cranking in that hold! Look out! Jake enters the ring, looks like he’s trying to break the hold, but the official is there to cut him off! Remi releases the chinlock and quickly drags Drake to her corner before…high fiving herself? After the clap she motions for Darcy to come into the ring as she holds Drake’s leg for an open shot…One which Darcy accepts by kicking King in the side of the knee! The referee turns his attention to the in ring action as Remi exits the ring and Darcy takes control.
Flannery McCoy: The Leading Lady takes Drake’s foot and drops an elbow onto the knee, digging in and twisting the leg! It’s a sound strategy from Dracy and Remi here, if they can take away the mobility of Drake then the Roundtable will be in serious trouble! Drake is struggling here, trying to break the hold, but he can’t seem to pry Darcy’s fingers loose, but his ring awareness kicks in and King manages to reach the ropes! The referee is calling for the break, but Darcy won’t relent! He begins his count!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
Stew-O: Darcy releases the hold with a second to spare, she wanted to inflict as much pain as possible to Drake before letting go! Drake tries to stand, but Darcy is there with a headlock, cranking Drake’s skull tight with her arm…Big back suplex! Drake escaped the hold and looks to Jake’s outstretched arm! Darcy is regrouping as Drake makes his way to his partner, but it’s slow going, Remi and Darcy seem to have done some damage to Drake’s knee…Remi, seeing Drake is so close to tagging, yells to Darcy to get up! Darcy gains her feet just as Drake makes the tag and Jake is in the match here for the first time!
Flannery McCoy: Smith runs forward and…Outch! He openhand slapped Darcy across the face hard, sending Morgan reeling! Jake takes her wrist and whips her to the ropes…big boot from Jake leaves Darcy on the mat! She’s the smallest person in this match and that glaring disadvantage is full on display here as she is being overpowered by Jake Smith! Jake looks to pull Darcy to her feet…WAIT! Darcy with a small package!
Referee: ONE! TWO!
FLannery McCoy: Kickout by Jake, but it was enough of a break for Darcy to regain her bearings, and she is back to her feet! Morgan ducks a wild swing by Jake and answers with a very nice looking standing dropkick!
Jake Mercer: It’s a shame the ‘Dropkick Darling’ moniker went mainstream, because that right there was a perfect example of why Darcy was called that all over the Southern England indy scene!
Flannery McCoy: You know, I looked into that…I wasn’t able to find any kind of confirmation at all that that Darcy was called that…
Stew-O: Why do you encourage him so much? Darcy delivers a nice looking step up enziguri to Jake, sending him back to the mat! Morgan makes another fast tag to Remi, these two are working like a well oiled machine in there, making quick tags and doing their best to keep their opponent in their corner of the ring. Jake is back to his feet as Remi seems to be almost stalking him like a predator before landing a hard looking right hook to the hip of Jake! That’s an interesting tactic, if Remi can land a few of those then it’s going to seriously hamper Jakes mobility!
Jake Mercer: Remi using a strategy that lead to her winning an underground kumite in Thailand some years ago…course she was wearing gloves covered in razors then, and the losing fighter was shot…
Stew-O: There’s zero chance that happened. Remi with a rear waistlock, probably looking for a German suplex, but Jake stops her with a back elbow, good thing she wears a gum guard, that elbow meant business! Remi has been knocked to a seated position as Jake, briefly rubbing his hip, hits the ropes…shining wizard from Smith! Remi looks a little out of pocket here as Jake mounts her and, while grabbing the back of her head, starts landing big forearms into her face and jaw!
Flannery McCoy: Remi is scrambling, reaching towards Jake’s face to do anything she can to break the hold…eye poke! I don’t think it was intentional, but it done the job, Jake rolls off Remi holding his eye and Skyfire starts crawling toward her corner! That back elbow must have really clocked her, but she’s inching closer to Darcy’s outstretched hand…WAIT! Drake saw that the tag was going to happen and ran to his opponent’s side of the ring on the outside, pulling Darcy from the apron! Remi look on in despair as her partner drops face first to the mat!
Stew-O: Jake looks like he is still having trouble seeing right, but manages to grab Remi by the foot. Skyfire gets vertical, hopping on one foot as Jake is holding her other…Look at that! Remi pulled the foot Jake had toward her body, pulling Jake along with it, and clocks him with a forearm! She grabsJake and forces him to the corner before unlading with a series of left and rights, throwing the occasional knee and elbow strike in for good measure! Jake does his best to cover up, but a lot of those strikes are landing and you can already see welts being raised on his body and arms as Remi rains down the blows!
Flannery McCoy: Is there is one thing Remi takes pride in it’s her speed. She constantly works to improve it, and you’re seeing it on display here tonight. Jake is continuing to take punishment, but breaks the offense with a hard headbutt to the bridge of Remi’s nose! Remi drops but so does Jake who is looking for his partner! Drake is slapping the turnbuckle, trying to get Jake’s attention…it works as Jake, still rubbing his eye, stumbles to his corner and is tagged by Drake. Remi, in the meantime is back to her feet and walks forward to meet King in the center of the ring!
Stew-O: These two are the veterans of their respective teams here tonight, and each wants to prove to the other that they’re the superior. Remi fires off a jab that catches Drake, but doesn’t stop him from throwing a forearm to the jaw of Remi. Skyfire fires back with a quick kick to Drake’s previously injured knee, causing him to stumble just enough for Remi to catch a Thai clench…she can do a lot of damage from this position!
Flannery McCoy: Pulling Drake’s head down, Remi fires a knee upward…Drake catches it and powers free before pushing Remi to the mat and taking her other leg! With both legs hooked, Drake falls backward, launching Remi upward and landing her face first to the turnbuckle! As she stumbles back, Drake is quick with a roll up!
Referee: ONE! TWO!
Flannery McCoy: Remi kicks out and tries to scramble to her corner, but Drake, looking to cut her off, hits the ropes and lands a senton…NO! Remi moved just in time and leaps to her corner, tagging Darcy in!
Stew-O: Darcy May runs forward and lands a flying armdrag to Drake, sending him sprawling to the mat. As Drake rolls to his knees Darcy lands an elbow to the back of his head, sending him back to the mat. Morgan quickly takes Drake’s leg, the same one she’s been trying to work on all night, and drops into almost a knee bar! Drake could be in trouble here, Darcy has good position in the center of the ring! Drake calls out in pain causing Jake, whose eye is still watering, to run in, breaking the hold. The referee is trying to force Jake out, which gives Remi the opportunity to run in and deliver a nasty looking kick to the side of Drake’s head!
Flannery McCoy: Drake and Jake seem to have underestimated Remi and Darcy’s ability to work as a team here tonight as so far they’ve been able to gain an advantage several times. Darcy takes advantage this time by first stomping the leg of Drake, then grabbing him by the hair and pulling him to his feet as the referee admonishes her. King breaks the hold, tho by grabbing the top of Darcy’s head and dropping to his knees, delivering a jawbreaker. The knee drop may have been a mistake, though, Drake is holding that injured right knee after dropping his full weight on it. Slowly he tests its strength and seems comfortable that it will hold him.
Jake Mercer: Drake is fine, this is the same man who won a One legged Ass Kicking contest several years back in the Upstate New York Rochambeau League. If anyone can fight through it it’s the Kang!
Flannery McCoy:…Darcy is on her feet, Drake with a flurry, lands a forearm shot, then a spinning back fist, then ends with a quick kick to the gut, doubling Darcy over…Superkick from Drake! Darcy is laid out! King fired off that combination lightning quick, proving he’s still very much in this match here tonight! Darcy looks like she doesn’t know what hit her, as Drake makes his way to his corner, tagging Jake in . Smith has a confident swagger to his step as he moves toward Darcy, he must feel like he has the match locked up now that she’s in such a disadvantageous situation, but he needs to look out, Darcy just went toe to toe with the Women’s champion and proved to the world how resilient she is…case in point! As Jake leans over to pull her up she lands a kick to the back of his head and quickly repositions herself to lock in an arm bar on Smith!
Stew-O: Darcy has that arm bent at a crazy angle, much like Drake has earlier, and Jake wants none of it! He manages to grab the ropes causing Darcy to release the hold in frustration. Looking to keep up the pressure, she hits the far ropes, coming forward as Jake stands…tilt-a-whirl headscissors! Smith doesn’t know what hit him! She tops this off with a hard kick to the side of Jake, knocking the wind out of him! Wait, what’s Remi doing? Looks like she’s calling the referee over as Darcy is pulling something out of her tights…It’s a roll of quarters! She’s going to obliterate Jake! Remi still has the referee’s attention as Darcy is loading up for that hard left she likes to throw…GUILLOTINE! Drake King cut Darcy off with the Guillotine! Darcy drops to the mat, the roll of quarters rolling away from her as Jake looks to finish things off now, he makes the pin and finally the referee is turned away from Remi and quickly moves into position, this is it!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Jake Mercer: ROPE BREAK! Darcy’s foot was on the rope!
Stew-O: It’s true, her foot was on the rope as the official waves off the three count. It looked more like luck though, as it seems like her foot just happened to fall that way, still the match continues! Jake is incensed, and slams the mat in frustration. You gotta feel for him at least a little, he felt like he had things wrapped up for Drake and him here, but Darcy and Remi are proving very much up to the challenge the Roundtable presents. Drake yells at Jake to pull it together, as Smith nods and pulls Darcy up….TALK TO YOU NEVER! Darcy had just enough left in the tank to deliver that hard left cross, albeit without the roll of quarters! Jake drops to the mat along with Darcy who immediately looks to her corner.
Flannery McCoy: She’s making her way toward Remi as Jake starts to stir slightly…Darcy pulling herself along with the ring ropes, Jake has rolled over and is crawling toward Drake…They both make the tag! Remi and Drake once again rush into the ring, each face a mask of fury! Drake ducks a roundhouse kick thrown by Remi and lands a kick to her knee, the same knee that was surgically repaired a few months ago, dropping her to the mat! Remi screams in pain as a smile spreads across the face of Drake…he may feel like he’s found an opening that he can use to put Skyfire away for good!
(As Drake stalks Remi ‘Ronin’ by Within the Ruins begins to play, causing a roar from the crowd.)
Stew-O: VIC VENOM! Vic makes his way to ringside, drawing Drake’s attention away from Remi, is this the plan Remi and Darcy had all along? These three recently teamed against the Fatal Destiny, regardless of if it were planned or not, though, it’s working, Drake being distracted has given Remi a chance to recover…LOW BLOW! Remi delivers a hard uppercut to Drake that the referee didn’t see because Vic’s distraction! Jake is still out at ringside, this could be the best chance Remi and Darcy have to end things!
Flannery McCoy: Vic is grinning from ear to ear as Drake lays in a heap, incapicated from the low blow Remi delivered! Skyfire quickly tags Darcy and the two pull Drake to his feet, looks like they’re planning a double team move here…Double Brainbuster! That’s the move they put Celes out with! Remi, with a slight limp, rushes to make sure Jake is still out as Darcy makes the pin!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!
(DING DING DING!)
Stew-O: Darcy and Remi done it! They beat the Roundtable!
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners…Darcy May Morgan and Remi Skyfire!
(‘How Bad Do You Want It’ by Sevyn Streeter plays as Darcy andRemi celebrate in the ring and Vic is shown at ringside laughing at Drake, mocking his pain from the low blow.)
Flannery McCoy: What a match from Darcy and Remi! The Roundtable were dominating large portions of the match, but they endured and, with a little help from Vic Venom, managed to pick up the win!
(We see a brief ad for Ronan Malosi steaks as the show heads for commercials. We return from the commercial break as we see StarrStan in the ring in front of a table and a contract with a pen on it.)
StarrStan: Ladies and gents, Midsummer Massacre may be this weekend but soon Friday Night Dynasty will be having its very own brand exclusive free per view event. That’s right, Operation: Doomsday on August 17th live from the XL Center in Hartford, Connecticut. As I try my best to rangle the sociopaths and cast of characters here weekly, I have been planning for the best event possible as well! Cage vs Drake King in a street fight, Vic Venom vs Sosa Henderson one on one, Jack Ripley defending his National Elite championship against Jake Smith and of course the World Heavyweight title match between Impact and Lethal Consequences under no disqualification rules! That is soon to come but one match in particular will be officially announced and confirmed right here, right now! I have two of the best women’s wrestlers of all time right here on Friday Night Dynasty. One, defeated Sienna Jade and ended her reign as champion at Pain for Pride XII. The other, cashed in her Iconic Cup opportunity and dethroned her minutes after. I am here to introduce first the challenger…
(“Surfin” by Kid Cudi and Pharrell plays as the fans all roar with excitement.)
StarrStan: SERENA BENNETT!!!
(Out walks Serena, looking radiant as her make up was corrected, her jeans hug her curves, and her t-shirt fits perfectly over her slim torso. Serena’s purple hair bounces as she walks down the ramp and enters the ring via the bottom rope.)
Stew-O: Former Specialist champion, the winner of last season’s Women’s Grand Rampage, Serena Bennett held that EAW Universal Women’s Championship for merely moments before being blindsided and attacked by Kassidy Heart at Pain for Pride XII!
Flannery McCoy: Many people were blindsided as Kassidy took advantage of the situation and waited until after Serena defeated Sienna Jade to make her move.
Jake Mercer: Kassidy Heart was well in her rights if you ask me! You win the Iconic Cup, you are an icon and are able to realize your destiny. She made her mark and is the EAW Universal Champion and deserves the respect it is supposed to come with.
(Serena walks over, grabbing a microphone, and stands on the other side of StarrStan.)
StarrStan: Next is a woman who has been through hell, fire and brimstone, forced marriages, goat related rivalries, a Big stalker named Mike, and anything you can imagine in her journey here in EAW. She is the champion set to face Serena Bennett in the rubber match of the century. One of the most talented and beautiful woman in the world…
(“Put ‘em Up” by Lupe Fiasco blasts as the entire crowd is back on their feet. Serena rolls her eyes as the blonde hair is shown and the supremely built figure of Kassidy Heart appears on stage with the Universal Women’s Championship on her shoulder shimmering in the lights.)
StarrStan: THE EAW UNIVERSAL WOMEN’S CHAMPION…KASSIDY HEART!
(Kass looks around as the crowd is split but so very loud for her arrival. Kassidy makes her way down the ramp and then stands ringside.)
Stew-O: A woman who created a championship opportunity for herself months ago after winning the Iconic Cup, Kassidy Heart’s cashing in of said opportunity may have created division to fans of both women. On one hand, Serena felt Kassidy took the coward’s route by waiting until after her classic with Sienna Jade to take advantage of her and win the belt off of her. On the other side, many look at it as justice for a loss Kassidy suffered to Serena back on Empire when she was distracted by her former associate Ahren Fournier and Bennett took advantage of her back then.
Flannery McCoy: I must say, personalities to the side, both of these women are incredibly talented and sure fire hall of famers here in EAW even before they held that championship. But, Kassidy also has a point considering her entire time on Empire that she was never allowed a single’s title opportunity. Not for the Specialist, Openweight, New Breed, or even the Universal Women’s title. She earned the opportunity to pick and choose her spot. She just chose it at the biggest show of all time following one of the greatest matches in EAW history.
Jake Mercer: I have no problem with what Kassidy did, what so ever. In KCW, Kingdom Championship Wrestling, I watched Vincent Viral cash in his Ironic Cup opportunity and defeated Rory Naynard for his for his title after Rory fought 26 men back to back in the longest Gauntlet match in UK History. You guys should have been there, it was more guys in the ring then fans at the show!
(Kass enters the ring and stands opposite Serena with the table in front of them and StarrStan at the head of the table facing the hard camera.)
StarrStan: You two ladies have been going back and forth for quite some time, both of you have been candid and open with your dislike for each other. Serena, you hate what Kassidy did to you at Pain for Pride and Kassidy feels she was 100% right in doing what she did. Now, this is professional wrestling, so before I let you two speak and sign this paper making your match official, how about you two say your peace and we make this match up the first EAW Universal Women’s Championship of this season and of the post Empire era!
(Serena is raising her microphone to her lips.)
Serena Bennett: Well, first off, I
(Kassidy Heart snatches away StarrStan’s microphone as the crowd goes “OOO” loudly and she interrupts Serena.)
Kassidy Heart: ACTUALLY, no. You have been talking more than enough for my liking so how about you hush your mouth and the champion speaks first, k?
(Serena raises both eyebrows at the audacity of Kassidy Heart.)
Serena Bennett: Wow! Ok. Speak, bitch!
Kassidy Heart: Yeah, ok. First off…I know everyone thinks im the cry baby, whiny, “woe is me” one in this situation…but nope. Save that narrative for someone that may be dumb enough to believe it. For weeks I have listened to you run your mouth, flap your lips, and speak ill on me and my decision to take you out and cash in my Iconic Cup Opportunity. I’m not going to stand out here and justify my actions over and over again, that’s a tired concept. I will, however, say that this is all just a formality. After we sign this contract and make this official, I’m going to finally show the world how much better than you I am. People think I’m this or that or just a damsel in distress. How wrong will they be when I catch you at Operation: Doomsday, Serena. I’m the coward, I’m the one that did it the wrong way, I’m not the true EAW Universal Women’s Champ…whatever. People will think what they want and say what they say but the only voices that matter is mine and that girl over there…
(Kassidy Heart points over to Stephie Love, standing ringside, who is confused and shocked.)
Kassidy Heart: Because when I speak, the world listens. I am going to beat Serena Bennett once and for all, the “right” way, and that girl will be the last voice we hear about this situation. When that bell rings at the end and Stephie Love stands up with that microphone in her hands, all we will hear is…
(Kass adjusts her attire before tilting her head back, raising the microphone high, and doing her best Stephie Love impression.)
Kassidy Heart: AND YOUR WINNER…AND STILL…EAW UNIVERSAL WOMEN’S CHAMPION…KASSIDY HEA-
Serena Bennett: *loud, exaggerated, obnoxious yawn*
(Serena cuts Kassidy Heart mid sentence as Kass lowers the mic, sighs, and stares back across the table at her challenger.)
Serena Bennett: *yawns* Are you done? Seriously? Are you done?
(Kassidy tilts her head towards StarrStan as StarrStan shrugs his shoulders.)
Serena Bennett: Yeah, you’re done. Not just with that tired as speech but with this facade of a title reign you got going on. At my expense I may add. Yeah, cute speech. Wish it was all true, maybe you wouldn’t be out here reinforcing that victim mentality you always cry about. You think we just make up these things about you, Kass? Like there is no evidence of you being nothing more than a damsel in distress? Nothing more than a bitch pretending to be a World champ when the real World Champion is standing right here? Like, you want us to look over and see this busty, make-up covered, barbie doll looking, “Ultraviolent” queen, right? But, we don’t see that. All we see is a coward ass bitch that snuck me from behind, waiting until I defeated Sienna Jade, and took my belt from me. You sneaky little cac! You won’t be able to hide and attack me from behind this time. This time? Bitch, I’m going to take my time and enjoy this shit! You gonna be hella tight, tighter than a tight end when I’m finished kicking your ass all over Hartford. Stephie Love won’t even be heard because all we are going to hear is your ass whining and crying per usual as I put my foot all over that pretty little face and get back the belt I should have never lost in the first place!
Kassidy Heart: You might want to pump the brakes, “sis”. You getting this championship back? Over my dead body!
Serena Bennett: We can arrange that, bitch!
Kassidy Heart: You going to take time out of your busy schedule of sucking SOSA’s dick to do that, huh?
Serena Bennett: I know Ryan Adams trophy wife isn’t talking! Did you sneak out the house while he was preoccupied tossing the salad of some Mexican pool boy to even make it to this show?
Kassidy Heart: You got a big mouth, you know that?
Serena Bennett: You got some big lips, lets see how bigger I can swell those bitches up!
Kassidy Heart: Big lips? I know you aren’t talking with that Area 51, alien size forehead on your face. Tyra Banks, Rihanna, and Bruce Willis called…they say you and that five head need to take it easy.
StarrStan: OK! Enough! Let’s keep this with some order and respect, please!
(The fans boo StarrStan as they are begging for a preview of Operation: Doomsday here tonight.)
Serena Bennett: Give me that goddamn pen.
(Serena snatches the pen and signs her name on the contract first.)
Serena Bennett: Hurry up and sign before you back out like the coward I know you to be, Assidy!
(Kassidy Heart sighs as she snatches up her own pen, kneels down, and begins signing. As she finishes, she looks up at an angry Serena seething.)
Kassidy Heart: After this, you try not getting a single’s championship shot and see how you like it you yellow faced, Simpson’s looking…
Stew-O: OH MY GOD!
Flannery McCoy: SERENA JUST SLAMMED KASSIDY’S FACE IN TO THAT TABLE!
Stew-O: Serena just shoved StarrStan out the way as she makes her way around the table. ELBOW SHOT FROM SERENA TO KASSIDY’S FACE! KASS IS REELING! SERENA IS ATTACKING THE CHAMP AS KASS DROPS HER BELT! WAIT! KASS BLOCKS A PUNCH AND CRACKS SERENA IN THE FACE WITH AN ELBOW OF HER OWN! ANOTHER ELBOW! ANOTHER ELBOW! SERENA IS BACKED INTO A CORNER! THE CROWD IS GOING WILD AS KASSIDY IS PUMMELING SERENA IN THE CORNER!
Flannery McCoy: KASS IS ON HER AND
Jake Mercer: KICK TO THE KNEE! SERENA KICKS KASSIDY IN THE RIGHT KNEE AS KASSIDY CLUTCHES AND DROPS DOWN TO HER OTHER KNEE! SERENA POSITIONS HER…SHE LIFTS HER UP HIGH!
POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
Stew-O: MY GOD! RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE! STARRSTAN IS UP AND HE’S FORCING SERENA OUT OF THE RING AS KASSIDY ROLLS IN PAIN ON THE MAT!
StarrStan: GET OUT! GET OUT RIGHT NOW!
Serena Bennett: See you later, Mrs. Adams!
Stew-O: Kassidy Heart is down! Serena is out of the ring and she has the EAW Universal Women’s Title in her hands! She places it on the apron, sitting it up as Kassidy holds her ribs surrounded by splinters!
Serena Bennett: See you real soon, baby!
(Serena gives the title a huge kiss as she begins walking up the ramp and “Surfin” by Kid Cudi and Pharrell plays.)
Stew-O: You can’t tell me this match isn’t personal or isn’t one of the most anticipated faceoffs in EAW history!
Flannery McCoy: Serena just sent the champ through a table at the contract signing, imagine what they do to each other in a few weeks at Operation: Doomsday!
(We cut to a commercial break as we see an ad for Shovels by Darkane. He is seen swinging a heavy graveyard shovel with a discomforting stares from his eyes right in to your soul. We return to the ringside area as Stephie Love stands in the squared circle. She flashes the audience a dazzling smile.)
(The camera cuts to Stephie Love in the ring.)
Stephie Love: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Stephie Love: Introducing first…
(“Celldweller – Eon (Paul Udarov Remix)” hits to boos from the crowd.)
Stephie Love: From Cape Town, South Africa weighing in at 251 pounds he is “The Alpha Wolf” ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAN MALOSI!!!!
(Ronan Malosi comes out to the ring scaring fans with his mere presence before entering the ring and lurking in a corner.)
Jake Mercer: I stan Ronan hard. He is a beast to be reckoned with. Not only that but one day he could be the first African champion in EAW history! What a trailblazer!
Flannery McCoy: I feel like there has been other African champions in EAW but am too lazy to look that shit up. Still Ronan is a beast and I look forward to seeing what he can do tonight in that ring.
Stew-O: This will definitely be a test for the young monster here tonight…
(“My Own Summer (Shove It)” by Deftone hits to cheers from the crowd.)
Stephie Love: And his opponent from New Orleans, Louisiana weighing in at 240 pounds DARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKANE!!!!
(Darkane makes his way to the ring with a scowl on his face looking unimpressed by his competition.)
Jake Mercer: Darkane can’t compete with the size of Ronan. Size matters! I should know!
Flannery McCoy: I’m sure that’s why you get turned down all the time.
Jake Mercer: Don’t be hatin’ Flannery. I just have good taste is all. EAW has been dominated by big sweaty men for many years and that isn’t going to change!
Stew-O: Really though don’t count Darkane out. He is a former champion and one of the most dangerous men on the Dynasty roster. He might be at a size disadvantage here tonight but with his skillset no match is out of his reach when it comes to achieving victory.
(DING! DING! DING!)
Flannery McCoy: We are underway… BAM! Holy shit!
Stew-O: Ronan Malosi just took Darkane’s head off with a Big Boot!
Jake Mercer: I told you. I told all of you!
Stew-O: Ronan Malosi starting things off strong with a power move that just completely dazed Darkane. And now Ronan begins to rain down fists of fury upon Darkane. Darkane moves out of the way but the long reach of the big dog Ronan reigns supreme by capturing him with even more blows! Darkane’s face looking bruised but I don’t know if that is from this match or something else he has been involved in.
Flannery McCoy: Hard kick to the leg by Darkane! Ronan reels backwards as Darkane grabs his arm pulling him down to the mat. Darkane connects with a hard right into the face of Ronan putting him firmly down on the mat. Then he locks the arm! Cross Armbreaker applied! We have seen other wrestlers use this move but Darkane really has it locked in tight! Ronan trying to grab the ropes with his other arm but Darkane kicks the limb away to prevent that from happening! Good awareness there by Darkane but Ronan trying to spin himself around!
Jake Mercer: And of course there is nothing that puny Darkane can do to stop him! What a tiny little man! Ronan manages to twist himself all the way around as you can see the frustration on Darkane’s face. Almost as frustrated as he is now… RONAN GOT THE FOOT ON THE ROPE! HAHAHA!
Stew-O: I’m glad you are so concerned for his well-being Jake. But Darkane is sad now as he is forced by the referee to release the Cross Armbreaker on Ronan who pulls himself up using his other arm and snarls at Darkane. Darkane measuring his opponent as he dives at the leg looking for a takedown… NO!
Flannery McCoy: RONAN HAD IT SCOUTED! ANOTHER BIG BOOT RIGHT TO THE SKULL OF DARKANE! A thunderous shot to be sure.
Jake Mercer: I almost didn’t realize Darkane was still in the ring with Ronan. Didn’t see the little buddy over there!
Stew-O: Come on he’s not that small man. What is getting smaller however is Darkane’s chances of victory as Ronan goes for the cover!
Referee: ONE!!! TWO!!!
Flannery McCoy: Kickout!
Jake Mercer: WOW! RONAN ALMOST BEAT A FORMER WORLD CHAMP! WHAT A GUY!
Stew-O: Unfortunately almost isn’t good enough. Ronan grabs Darkane by the throat lifting him all the way up from the ground and into the air. CHOKESLAM CONNECTS! The entire ring shook from the momentum behind that chokeslam. And Ronan is not done! He pulls Darkane back up once more this time by the hair. Ronan drapes Darkane up over his shoulder… Running Pumphandle Slam connects! The cover!
Flannery McCoy: No wait! Ronan still is not done! He yanks Darkane back up by the neck with both hands. And he tosses Darkane up onto the top rope. I’m not sure I like where this is going… BAM!
Jake Mercer: BIG BOOT CONNECTS! DARKANE GOES TUMBLING OFF THE TOP OF THE TURNBUCKLE! DARKANE BASHES HIS HEAD OFF THE APRON AS HE ROLLS DOWN TO THE FLOOR IN A CRUMPLED HEAP! NOW RONAN STANDS TALL IN THE RING. EVEN TALLER NOW AS HE LOOKS DOWN FROM HIS PERCH UPON HIS PREY! WHAT YOU DOING DOWN THERE DARKANE? HUH LITTLE BUDDY?
Stew-O: I swear to Allah you liked Darkane last week. You are so damn inconsistent. Meanwhile Darkane is totally motionless as the referee begins a count.
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE!
Flannery McCoy: BUT WAIT! RONAN STEPPING OVER THE ROPES! NO!
Jake Mercer: …! NO!
Stew-O: Darkane up and he trips Ronan Malosi over the top rope! Ronan goes tumbling down to the outside and lands head first on the barricade! Darkane leaps off the apron! Scizzors Kick to the head of Ronan as he is leaning across the barricade! Ronan falls back to the outside mat lying motionless. How did Darkane recover so fast?
Flannery McCoy: I don’t get it I think we need to take a closer look.
(A slow motion replay shows Ronan kicking Darkane off the top rope. However in the slow motion you can tell that Ronan’s boot did not actually make contact with Darkane’s head. Also when Darkane fell and hit the apron he was actually lessening the impact of his fall to the outside.)
Stew-O: I’ll be damned. Darkane was playing possum! The ultimate madman!
Jake Mercer: He cheated!
Flannery McCoy: I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count as cheating.
Jake Mercer: Disqualify him!
Stew-O: Nah. How about you declare him the winner instead? Darkane rolls Ronan back into the ring and climbs to the cover!!!
Referee: ONE!!! TWO!!! THR-
Jake Mercer: Yay he kicked out! I believe in you Ronan! Ronan out here fighting harder than a cancer survivor!
Flannery McCoy: Darkane pulls Ronan up to his feet as he grabs his head under his arm… NO RONAN BROKE FREE!!! BIG BOOT!!!
Stew-O: NO! DARKANE MOVED OUT THE WAY!!! DARKANE SLID UNDERNEATH THE LEG OF RONAN MALOSI?
Jake Mercer: WHAT?!?!? DARKANE USED RONAN’S SUPERIOR HEIGHT AGAINST HIM? HOW CAN THIS BE?
Flannery McCoy: He’s literally only three inches taller… DEVIL MAY CRY CONNECTS!!!
Stew-O: SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR! Darkane with the cover!
Referee: ONE!!! TWO!!! THRRRRRREE!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stephie Love: Here is your winner… DARRRRRRRRRKANE!!!
(“My Own Summer (Shove It)” by Deftone hits as the referee raises Darkane’s arm in victory.)
Jake Mercer: Wow. I guess I have to give him props.
Stew-O: I mean I guess you don’t have to but…
Jake Mercer: Oh okay then I won’t.
Flannery McCoy: Well I certainly will! Great job Darkane! First he came out and I was all like omigosh he’s so brooding and cool! Then he won and I literally could not even.
Stew-O: What my partner is trying to say is that Ronan Malosi came out like an absolute beast this week. He even nearly scored an upset victory! Yet the intelligence and veteran experience of Darkane came into play to secure him the win here tonight.
(The camera cuts to a commercial for Mid Winter Massacre. Because blood is easier to see in the snow. We are back and see Stephie Love smiling in the ring.)
Stephie Love: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
Stephie Love: AND IT’S YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!!!
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac begins to play, and the crowd erupts as TLA makes his way onto the stage.)
Stephie Love: INTRODUCING FIRST… RESIDING IN THE POON PALACE IN MIAMI, FLORIDA… WEIGHING IN AT 210 POUNDS… HE IS ‘LA PANTERA SEXUAL’ TLA!!!
Flannery McCoy: I have been waiting for this match all night, guys! TLA and his opponent tonight, the returning SOSA Henderson, are two of the very best in EAW right now. There’s no doubt in my mind that this match will be amazing, and I can’t wait to see what these two have in store for one another!
Stew-O: TLA and SOSA both have a lot going on right now, but hopefully they’ll be able to put aside whatever is going on with Darkane and Vic Venom respectively and just focus on having an incredible match against one another.
Jake Mercer: Look, it’s no secret how I feel about TLA, but I know there’s a lot of people who are going to have their eyes on this match. TLA is fighting to break out this season and become a world champion, and SOSA is a former New Breed Champion with all the talent in the world. This is certainly a worthy main event we have tonight here on Dynasty.
(TLA climbs inside the ring and takes his corner, getting himself set for the match. His music fades out and is replaced by “Love SOSA” by Chief Keef.)
Stephie Love: AND HIS OPPONENT… FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA… WEIGHING IN AT 191 POUNDS… HE IS ‘BULLETPROOF’ SOSA HENDERSON!!!!
(The crowd greets SOSA warmly, excited to see the former champion back in action. SOSA steps on stage, looks around confidently, and begins to walk down to the ring.)
Jake Mercer: Here comes SOSA! We haven’t seen him since Pain for Pride where he was defeated by Felix Hartley with the New Breed Championship on the line. This will be his official Season 13 debut and I’m curious to see how he performs tonight.
Flannery McCoy: Something tells me SOSA is going to be more than game!!! He’s always up for a fight and since he’s been here in EAW, he’s been a part of some incredible matches. There’s no doubt he’ll be ready for whatever TLA has in store for him throughout the course of this match.
Stew-O: This is going to be a good one. Settle in, folks. SOSA is in the ring now and the referee is calling for the bell!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Flannery McCoy: SOSA charges TLA and spears him to the mat! This match has started off with a good ole fashion brawl because why the fuck not?! SOSA and TLA hammering away on one another now, rolling around the ring, and the referee is trying to break it up. SOSA gains the dominant position and begins punching TLA in the face, but TLA is quick to kick him off, and he gets to his feet! He jerks the returning SOSA up to his feet and begins smashing him over and over in the face with forearms! SOSA fights back with stiff forearms of his own and these two are just beating the shit out of one another right now.
Stew-O: SOSA drives his knee up into TLA’s gut and he throws him to the outside of the ring! SOSA rolls out himself and this fight continues! SOSA grabs TLA and he’s dragging him over here! He slams TLA’s head right off our announce booth and throws him into the steel barricade! I think SOSA came out here tonight more than ready to get back in action! SOSA charges towards TLA, but TLA manages to get his foot up! SOSA staggers back and TLA pushes himself off the barricades! VERY MEXICAN UPPERCUT! SOSA is reeling! TLA with a series of fast striking combos now, and now he grabs SOSA, slamming him face first into the ring post!
Jake Mercer: To quote SOSA’s significant other, ‘yawn.’
Stew-O: TLA scrambles onto the ring apron, and SOSA reaches for him, but there is TLA with a series of kicks that catch SOSA in the face! SOSA drops down to the ground and TLA jumps onto the top of the ringpost. 420! 420! SHOOTING STAR PRESS TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING AND HE LANDS ON SOSA!!!
Jake Mercer: That was so unnecessary.
Flannery McCoy: You literally shit on TLA every match and I don’t get it.
Jake Mercer: Of course you don’t. You’re simple-minded.
Flannery McCoy: :skip:
Jake Mercer: TLA is back up and he slips inside the ring to break up the count. He’s back to the outside now and grabbing SOSA. TLA throws the former New Breed Champion back inside the ring and goes for a quick cover.
Stew-O: SOSA with a kick out at one!
Flannery McCoy: TLA climbs up to his feet and he pulls SOSA up with him. He looks for a second Very Mexican Uppercut, but SOSA gets his knee up and catches TLA in the stomach! SOSA runs past TLA AND HE JUMPS UP ON THE ROPES! SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK! TLA IS TAKEN DOWN! TLA rolls to the opposite set of ropes and pulls himself up, and SOSA charges forward looking to clothesline him over the top rope! TLA is able to duck and he lifts SOSA up and dumps him over the top rope! SOSA lands on the apron and he ducks beneath the ropes, driving his shoulder into TLA’s gut! SOSA springs over the ropes, grabbing TLA and plants him into the mat with a DDT! SOSA with the cover!
Jake Mercer: TLA kicks out!
Stew-O: SOSA quickly pulls TLA up and throws him into the corner! SOSA runs and he is able to hit TLA with a corner clothesline! SOSA latches onto TLA and sends him flying across the ring with a monkey flip, and now he’s scaling the ropes, and standing on the top turnbuckle! SOSA BOMB! SOSA’S VERSION OF THE SWANTON CONNECTS AND HE HOOKS THE LEGS!!!!
Flannery McCoy: TLA KICKS OUT AGAIN!
Jake Mercer: I will say that SOSA has not lost a step despite being out since Pain for Pride. He’s showing very little signs of ring rust and has come out on fire tonight. SOSA is back to his feet and he’s grabbing TLA up now. He hits TLA with a forearm shot, and that prompts TLA to fire back with one of his own! These two are exchanging stiff looking shots now, and it’s SOSA who finally gains the advantage! He looks for a roundhouse kick but TLA is able to duck underneath! TLA shoves SOSA into the ropes and rolls him up for a pin! SOSA rolls through, but TLA hits the ropes! SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! HE TAKES SOSA DOWN TO THE MAT! TLA IS BACK UP AND HE QUICKLY WRAPS SOSA UP IN THE AR15!
Stew-O: TLA HAS HIS VERSION OF THE LASSO FROM EL PASO LOCKED IN AND SOSA IS IN TROUBLE! HE MIGHT HAVE TO TAP OUT HERE!
Flannery McCoy: There is absolutely no way SOSA is going to tap out! This is his Season 13 debut! He’s digging deep right now and he’s making his way towards the ropes! SOSA is determined to force TLA to break this hold and there it is! He grabs the bottom rope!
Referee: ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR…
Stew-O: TLA breaks the hold!
Jake Mercer: That criminal gets back to his feet and this disgusting crowd is rallying behind him. They really wanted to see TLA make SOSA Henderson tap and that’s pretty disgusting. TLA helps SOSA back up and SOSA throws a right hand that catches TLA square on the jaw! TLA fires back, and here they go! They’re fighting again! It’s TLA who finally gains the advantage and he runs forward, springs up on the ropes! TLA WITH A DIVING CROSSBODY BUT SOSA CATCHES HIM AND PLANTS HIM WITH A POWERSLAM! SOSA QUICKLY POSITIONS HIMSELF ON TLA’S SHOULDER AND HE BEGINS WORKING ON THE ARM! HE GRABS AT TLA’S FINGERS, PULLING THEM BACK, AND NOW HE’S GOT THE ENTIRE ARM, TWISTING IT IN AN UNNATURAL POSITION!
Stew-O: TLA fights back, looking for a headscissors, but SOSA slips out and drags TLA back up. He whips TLA into the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a massive kick to the face! TLA drops to the mat and here comes SOSA!!! ROLLING THUNDER!!! SOSA NOW WITH THE COVER!!!
Flannery McCoy:TLA GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
Stew-O: SOSA is quickly back up and he grabs TLA, tossing him into the corner! SOSA runs forward… BUT TLA WITH A VERY MEXICAN UPPERCUT! SOSA IS ROCKED!!! SOSA REGAINS HIS COMPOSURE AND HE COMES BACK AT TLA! TLA JUMPS UP AND OVER, AND SOSA CRASHES INTO THE CORNER! TLA DIVING THROUGH THE ROPES WITH A MODIFIED 305, AND HIS FEET CONNECT WITH SOSA’S BACK! TLA IS BACK INTO THE RING AND HE GRABS SOSA FROM BEHIND! ZIG ZAG! SOSA IS DOWN AND TLA GOES FOR THE COVER!!!
Jake Mercer: SOSA KICKS OUT AND IMMEDIATELY TLA GOES BACK TO WORK! HE MOUNTS SOSA AND BEGINS UNLOADING STIFF RIGHTS RIGHT TO SOSA’S SKULL!! SOSA FIGHTS HIM OFF, JUMPS ON TLA, AND NOW HE IS UNLEASHING HIS OWN SERIES OF PUNCHES!!! SOSA WITH SEVERAL RIGHT HANDS THAT CONNECT RIGHT ON TLA’S JAW! SOSA IS BACK TO HIS FEET AND HE QUICKLY JUMPS TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! 450 SPLASH!!!!
Flannery McCoy: TLA MOVES AND SOSA LANDS, BUT ROLLS THROUGH! TLA SPRINGS IN THE AIR AND TAKES SOSA DOWN WITH A DROP KICK AND NOW HE’S GOING UP TOP! MOONSAULT! TLA LANDS ON SOSA HENDERSON AND GOES FOR THE COVER!
Jake Mercer: SOSA KICKS OUT!
Stew-O: BOTH GUYS ROLL TO OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE RING AND BOTH ARE BACK UP! TLA WITH THE CARTEL KICK! HE CONNECTS ON SOSA! IMMEDIATELY TLA DIVES ON TOP OF SOSA FOR ANOTHER COVER!!!
Jake Mercer: NOPE! SOSA KICKS OUT!
Flannery McCoy: TLA jerks SOSA up by the hair and throws him into the ropes! TLA takes off running and HITS ANOTHER 305 ON SOSA! TLA JUMPS ON SOSA’S BACK AND IS CHOKING HIM WITH THE ROPES!!!
Referee: ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR…
Stew-O: TLA gets off SOSA, slips to the outside, and he drops down… SNAPPING SOSA’S THROAT ACROSS THE MIDDLE ROPE!!! SOSA IS CLUTCHING HIS THROAT AND GASPING FOR AIR AND THIS CROWD IS URGING TLA TO KEEP UP THIS FLURRY OF OFFENSE!
Jake Mercer: Neither man has had a clear advantage in this match. It’s been pretty back and forth. TLA is wasting time though, giving a crap about what these people think of him. TLA finally goes back to the top rope and I think this match is about to be put away! TLA GETS HIMSELF SET… HE FLIES!!! ‘BURNOUT’!!! ‘BURNOUT’!!!
Flannery McCoy: TLA WITH A PICTURE PERFECT CORKSCREW 360 SENTON!!!!
Stew-O: SOSA MOVES! SOSA ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY! TLA IS DOWN AND HE MIGHT HAVE HURT HIMSELF ON THAT!!! TLA ROLLS TO THE APRON! The referee is over there checking on him, and in the meantime, SOSA has made his way back up! SOSA sees what’s going on and he goes to the ropes! What the hell is SOSA about to do?!
Jake Mercer: SOSA JUMPS OFF THE TURNBUCKLES AND HE HITS TLA WITH A DOUBLE FOOT STOMP ON THE APRON AND HE DROPS DOWN TO THE GROUND! TLA GRABS HIS CHEST BUT SOSA GIVES HIM ABSOLUTELY NO TIME TO RECOVER! HE JERKS TLA OFF THE APRON AND THROWS HIM INTO THE RING STEPS! TLA LANDS SHOULDER FIRST AND HERE COMES SOSA! BASEMENT DROPKICK INTO THE STEPS! SOSA GRABS TLA, SLAMS HIS FACE OFF THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, AND THROWS HIM BACK IN! SOSA LEAPS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND LANDS A LEG DROP ACROSS TLA’S THROAT! SOSA HOOKS THE LEG AND GOES FOR THE COVER!
Stew-O: TLA KICKS OUT!!!
Flannery McCoy: SOSA IS SHOOK! HE THOUGHT HE HAD THE WIN!
Stew-O: SOSA is wasting time right now. TLA is sitting up and doing his best to get his bearings. TLA is crawling towards the ropes and SOSA pushes himself up and starts stalking him. SOSA grabs TLA from behind and wraps his arms around his neck! SOSA trying to lock in that sleeper now, but TLA is clawing at his forearms! TLA manages to pry SOSA’s arms away and he’s trying to transition into a wrist lock now! SOSA is fighting him, and both of them have locked up and are struggling with one another for the advantage! TLA finally gains control and attempts to whip SOSA across the ring, but SOSA plants his feet and nails TLA with a chop to the chest! TLA fires back with a chop! AND NOW THEY’RE BOTH FIRING OFF THOSE BLISTERING CHOPS!
Jake Mercer: SOSA FINALLY KICKS TLA IN THE GUT AND WHIPS HIM INTO THE ROPES! HE CATCHES TLA WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK OFF THE REBOUND! TLA IS DOWN, BUT HE IMMEDIATELY ROLLS TO THE ROPES TO PULL HIMSELF UP, BUT SOSA IS RIGHT THERE! HE GRABS TLA AND HOISTS HIM UP IN THE AIR! DELAYED VERTICAL SUPLEX! TLA IS DOWN! SOSA THINKS ABOUT GOING FOR THE COVER BUT INSTEAD HE SCREAMS AT TLA TO GET UP! SOSA IS GETTING SET FOR ‘PAID IN FULL!’ THIS MATCH WILL BE OVER IF HE HITS THAT DOUBLE CURB STOMP!
Flannery McCoy: HE’S GOING FOR IT! SOSA LOOKS TO CONNECT WITH ‘PAID IN FULL’ BUT TLA SPRINGS UP AND SOSA MISSES! HE CRASHES INTO THE ROPES AND TLA TAKES ADVANTAGE! HE ROLLS SOSA UP!!!
Stew-O: SOSA KICKS OUT AND IS QUICKLY BACK UP! HE GRABS TLA, THROWS HIM IN THE CORNER, AND CONNECTS WITH A CORNER CLOTHESLINE! SOSA RUSHES TOWARDS THE OPPOSITE CORNER BUT TLA IS RIGHT THERE! HE SLAMS INTO SOSA! TLA GRABS SOSA AND LOOKS TO THROW HIM INTO THE ADJACENT CORNER, BUT SOSA GRABS TLA AND THROWS HIM ACROSS THE RING! SOSA CHARGES BUT TLA LEAPS ON THE ROPES AND FLIES OFF! SOSA CATCHES THE CROSSBODY! BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! ANOTHER COVER!!!
Flannery McCoy: FRUSTRATION IS GROWING FOR SOSA! TLA IS ALREADY MAKING HIS WAY BACK UP! THESE TWO MEN ARE JUST GOING TO WAR TONIGHT AND THIS IS WHY DYNASTY IS THE BEST!
Jake Mercer: tHiS iS wHy DyNaStY iS tHe BeSt. Dynasty is the best because I’m on commentary and bring actual personality to these matches. If the audience had to sit around and listen to both of you, they’d tune out quicker than the audience does when they turn on Voltage.
Flannery McCoy: :wow:
Jake Mercer: This crowd is on their feet, clearly wanting more from both of these men. This match has been nothing short of incredible and trust me. It kills me to give TLA any kind of credit.
Flannery McCoy: :wow:
Stew-O: TLA and SOSA are once again back to their feet, and both are staring at one another! What is it going to take for either of them to win this match??
TLA (off-microphone): Hit me, hombre!
Jake Mercer: TLA wants to square up again and we all know that SOSA loves to fight! He’s never one to back down!
SOSA Henderson (off-microphone): Ight, bruh.
Flannery McCoy: THERE THEY GO! RIGHT HAND FROM SOSA! TLA FIRES BACK! NOW IT’S SOSA! NOW IT’S TLA! SOSA! TLA! SOSA! TLA! SOSA! TLA! SOSA! TLA! STRAIGHT UP CLOSED FIST PUNCHES TO ONE ANOTHER’S FACE AND IT’S TLA WHO GAINS THE ADVANTAGE! HE CATCHES SOSA IN THE NOSE, DRAWING BLOOD, AND SOSA BACKS UP AGAINST THE ROPES! VERY MEXICAN UPPERCUT! AND ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER! TLA WITH RAPID FIRE STRIKES TO SOSA NOW! SOSA IS REELING AND TLA GRABS HIM, SNAPMARING HIM TO THE GROUND! HE UNLEASHES A SERIES A STIFF KICKS RIGHT INTO SOSA’S BACK, AND TLA SEEMS TO HAVE THIS MATCH FIRMLY IN HAND! TLA HOISTS SOSA UP AND THERE IT IS!!! MEXICAN DESTROYER!!! TLA WITH THE COVER FOR THE WIN!!!!
Stew-O: TLA HAS WON!
Jake Mercer: NO! SOSA’S FOOT IS ON THE ROPES! THEY WERE TOO CLOSE TO THE ROPES!!!!
Flannery McCoy: TLA doesn’t know what to do at this point! He had this match won! He grabs SOSA and pulls him into the center of the ring and goes for another cover!
Flannery McCoy: SOSA KICKS OUT!!!!
Jake Mercer: TLA rakes a frustrated hand through his hair and gets up. He begins stomping the shit out of SOSA, making sure those stomps connect with SOSA’s face and chest! TLA is not holding anything back right now! He’s completely pissed SOSA got his foot on that rope! TLA grabs SOSA’s arm… ‘CROSSED PATHS!’ THE CROSS ARMBREAKER!!!
Stew-O: SOSA IS FIGHTING HIM THOUGH! SOSA ROLLS UP TO HIS SIDE AND HE CATCHES TLA WITH A PUNCH TO THE TEMPLE! SOSA LOCKS HIS HANDS TOGETHER AND TLA IS TRYING HIS DAMNDEST TO PRY SOSA’S HANDS APART SO HE CAN FULLY LOCK IN THAT SUBMISSION! THESE TWO ARE BATTLING THEIR WAY BACK UP TO THEIR FEET NOW AND IT’S SOSA WHO CATCHES TLA IN THE GUT WITH A KNEE! TLA LETS GO OF SOSA AND SOSA THROWS TLA INTO THE ROPES! BICYCLE KNEE OFF THE REBOUND!!!!
Flannery McCoy: NO!!! TLA DUCKS THE BICYCLE KNEE!!!! SOSA PUTS THE BRAKES ON BUT TLA WITH A DROPKICK TO THE BACK THAT SENDS SOSA INTO THE ROPES! TLA WITH THE ZIG ZAG ONCE AGAIN!!! SOSA IS DOWN! TLA WASTES ABSOLUTELY NO TIME AS HE GOES FOR THE TOP ROPE! TLA GETS HIMSELF SET AND HE FLIES!!! ‘BURNOUT’!!! THIS TIME HE CONNECTS WITH THE CORKSCREW 360 SENTON!!! TLA HOOKS BOTH LEGS FOR THE COVER!!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stephie Love: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… HERE IS YOUR WINNER… TLA!!!!!
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac begins to blast across the public address system and an exhausted, but victorious TLA rises to his feet.)
Stew-O: That was one hell of a war between these two incredible Elitists. TLA and SOSA poured their hearts out onto that mat tonight, but it was TLA who managed to win in the end.
Jake Mercer: I hate to admit it, but that was a great performance from TLA. He did his thing and came out with a huge win. It’ll be interesting to see how SOSA Henderson rebounds from this because I’m sure he’ll be disappointed.
(The lights go out. Everyone is screaming and wondering what is happening. The lights return as we see Darkane in the ring with his graveyard shovel. TLA turns and sees this as Darkane stares him down. Sosa begins to rise to his feet as well, confused at what was happening.)
Stew-O: BANG! DARKANE JUST BUSTED SOSA HENDERSON IN THE MOUTH WITH THAT SHOVEL! SOSA IS BLEEDING HEAVILY! TLA CHARGES BUT DARKANE HITS HIM RIGHT IN THE STOMACH WITH THE SHOVEL!
Flannery McCoy: SHOVEL SHOT ACROSS THE SPINE AS TLA HITS THE GROUND AND ROLLS AROUND ON THE MAT!
Stew-O: SOSA IS COVERING HIS FACE AS BLOOD POURS THROUGH HIS HANDS! Darkane isn’t done with him…OVERHANDED SHOVEL SWING KNOCKS SOSA RIGHT OUT! Somebody get the emts! First Drake takes out Cage and now Darkane May have ended Sosa Henderson in his return match tonight!
Jake Mercer: The agony on display is insane! What if Cage and Sosa aren’t able to compete at Operation: Doomsday now?
Stew-O: WAIT! TLA IS BACK UP, HE SLIDES IN THE RING, HE CHARGES DARKANE! SWING…MISS BY DARKANE WITH THAT BLOODY SHOVEL! DROPKICK BY TLA SENDS DARKANE FLAT ON HIS BACK AS THAT SHOVEL LEAVES HIS HAND. DARKANE QUICKLY ROLLS OUT OF THE RING…WAIT…TLA ISNT DONE! RUNNING SENTON FROM INSIDE THE RING ON TO DARKANE AS THEY BOTH CRASH TO THE RING SIDE BARRICADE!
Flannery McCoy: TLA HAD HIS POON BEATEN LAST WEEK BUT NOW HES ON THE OFFENSE THIS WEEK!
Jake Mercer: I know this is supposed to be serious but do you hear yourself?!
Flannery McCoy: TLA IS PUNCHING DARKANE ON THE RING FLOOR AS EMTS ARE OUT HELPING SOSA! SECURITY FINALLY INTERVENES AS DARKANE AND TLA ARE FIGHTING BY THE BARRICADE…BUT TLA CLOTHESLINES DARKANE IN TO THE CROWD! SECURITY SWARMS THEM BOTH AS FANS BEGIN TO CLEAR AWAY FROM THE ACTION HAPPENING RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM! THIS IS PURE MADNESS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
Stew-O: And sadly we are out of time! Operation: Doomsday just got even more unpredictable with Cage and SOSA’s futures in the air after two brutal attacks by Darkane and Drake King! From Flannery, Jake, and the rest of Dynasty…I’m Stew-O and we will see you next week!
(Chaos ensues as dozens of security members try to pry TLA and Darkane away from each other and attempt to keep the fans safe. TLA throws a folded chair as Darkane continues screaming at him and the show fades to black.)
(EAW Logo Buzzes.)