John Helms
(EAW intro plays.)
(A recap of the previous week begins to play as we open up with an irate Chris Elite following his controversial loss at Grand Rampage. Chris is confronted by Impact and Sienna Jade as they mock him and reveal it was Impact that screwed Chris Elite out of The National Elite Championship. Chris, originally believing it was Diamond Cage’s doing, turns his aggression to the couple until Serena Bennett enters the situation looking for revenge herself. Serena goes off on Jade and Imp until Kassidy Heart also gets involved. Kass and Jade bond as friends before she turns and chastises Impact for ruining her match. Chris has had enough of it all and uses his GAWD contract to force Kassidy and Serena to team up against Impact and Jade at Gateway to Glory. He also turns down another National Elite title match and forces Jade and Heart to go at it at Pain for Pride for the belt instead. Following this, we see Lisa Wren, Ken Ken, Hevel, and Eddie Terrial in an opening fatal fourway match that is won by Eddie. Next, General Manager Ryan Wilson faced with W1LH3LM before Ryan Wilson would be submitted by his opponent. Afterwards, Sienna Jade and Kassidy Heart have a few words before being confronted by Xander Payne. Xander goes off on both women and especially Kassidy Heart for helping her husband Ryan Adams regain the Answers World Championship at Grand Rampage.)
(After this, we watch clips of Hollywood SOSA Henderson defeating Angel De Plata Jr. in a singles match. Next, we see Kasey Kaos and StarrStan chatting until SOSA Henderson gets involved. Both look for some respect for their Grand Rampage performances and both get them. Kasey Kaos, a relative newcomer, is granted a shot at Minerva and the Universal Women’s World championship. SOSA, a man returning after multiple breaks, gets a title match with Drake King for the World Heavyweight title. Both seem eager and motivated to make history with these championship opportunities. Next, Kasey Kaos and Korey Gaines would have a one on one match on how tough Korey was but also how good Kaos is. Kasey Kaos kills Korey with the Kaos Reigns and wins the match in the end. After this, Justin Windgate comes out to speak on his Grand Rampage title loss to NEW Breed Champion Jalyn Garcia. During this, Andre Walker and W1LH3LM make it their point to interrupt and have words with him. A triple threat between the two newcomers and the veteran is set for Gateway to Glory. After this, we see Andre Walker and Chris Elite have a match up with Chris Elite showing once again his greatness with a win here. Next, we get a very long segment that features The Visual Prophet trying to win back Drake King’s trust. Viz begs Drake to forgive him and goes beyond being annoying until Drake enters the picture. Drake explains why trusting Viz is hard but Viz gives Drake an ultimatum; a Peace Treaty. Viz reveals by having Drake and himself sign it, Viz will not challenge him for the World Championship and that Drizzy and Vizzy will forever be a tag team. Jessica Miller, Drake’s sister, advises him against it but he signs it anyway. Things seem to become brighter for the Unified Tag Team champs until Fire & Ice make a surprise appearance. Raven Roberts and Grand Rampage winner Rex McAllister reveal that they will be enacting their tag team title shot that was won at King of Elite at Gateway to Glory as Viz and Drake stare on.)
(Recap continues as we watch a tag team match with Lethal Consequences and Justin Windgate facing off against Impact and Sienna Jade. The couple with the most chemistry in professional wrestling fell short as LC and Windy took the victory. Next, La Pantera Sexual TLA is seen around the performance center having words with a few trainees before trying to flirt with a disgusted Kensingten Calhoun-Aster. KCA is not amused by TLA despite TLA being rather amusing. They mention Jacob Senn which brings his shoutout total to 63 this season on EAW programming before we cut to a match featuring Specialist Champ Darcy May Morgan. She is challenged in a match with former Universal Women’s champ Serena Bennett but is also defeated by her following a DDD reversed into a clever roll up for the pin. Lastly, our main event of the evening features Cage taking on King of Elite winner The Visual Prophet in a hellacious match. Drake King attempts to aid his partner but inadvertently costs Viz the match as Cage finally earns a win over one half of the Unified Tag Team champions. Before the show can fade out, a surprise run in by a still angry Chris Elite occurs as he blitz and assaults Cage on top of the stage. A pull apart brawl ends the night with Cage and Elite throwing haymakers until the show fades to black.)
(The show begins inside the still empty Performance Center in New Jersey as we see our usual trio at the commentary table.)
Stew-O: Good evening ladies and gentlemen watching around the globe, I am Stew-O here with you to showcase another week of the best professional wrestling in the world; FRIDAY NIGHT DYNASTY!
Jake Mercer: Extra NASTY in case you were wondering. Nasty cause I’ve found out that EAW disgraced legend Jacob Senn has contracted Covid-19 from one of those lucha masks he’s been wearing. Thoughts and prayers to that fella.
Flannery McCoy: Um, ok. Anyway, to more relevant matters…we have a big show tonight don’t we Stew?
Stew-O: Indeed we do. Let me introduce my partners, the lovely Flannery McCoy and the wrestling encyclopedia himself Jake Mercer. How are you two doing?
Flannery McCoy: I’d be better off if we never mentioned Senn, Cloud, Lannister, Wakefield, and the rest of those relics nobody new to EAW cares about. But, Jake seems to love keeping us posted on their business.
Jake Mercer: I am the wrestling encyclopedia and I have to keep the information coming for us inside this bleach dripping Impact Zone.
Flannery McCoy: This is the performance center, Jake. Not the Impact Zone.
Jake Mercer: If Impact says it’s the Impact Zone and keeps giving me 50 bucks, then damn it…we live from the freaking Impact Zone. Feel me? #cartiverseonpainfor1993sucks.
Stew-O: Anyway, we have a huge show for you all tonight but first…we have a video we are being asked to play.
(Sad music begins to play as a video is shown on all the screens in the performance center.)
(A picture of allegedly deceased Kim Jung Un is then posted with the letters “R.I.P.” with a slightly faded question mark at the end of it. “See You Again” by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth begins to play as a familiar voice can be heard singing.)
???: It’s been a looooong day…without you my friend. And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. WE’VE COME A LONG WAY…from where we began.
(Out walks The Visual Prophet in an all black suit, a white collared shirt, a black tie, his black three lens sunglasses, a North Korean pin on his lapel, and tears dripping from his face.)
The Visual Prophet: OHHH I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN…when I SEE YOU AGAIN!!!
Jake Mercer: Baethoven back as The Visual Prophet is here to pay respect and mourn his dear friend, Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Un.
Flannery McCoy: And it seems he isn’t alone!
(Another voice can be heard slurring words and continuing the lyrics to the song.)
Stew-O: Is that…is that…
???: Uh…
Jake Mercer: Dennis fuckin’ Rodman!
??? RAWR!
Flannery McCoy: And Kimmy! The Siberian Tiger!
(Indeed, out comes Five Time NBA Champion, The Worm Dennis Rodman. Dennis is on the back of Viz’s Siberian Tiger, Kimmy. Kimmy, a gift from Kim Jong-Un to Viz way back at last year’s Fighting Spirit, is now fully grown and massive as the 6’7 power forward continues the song created for the memory of Fast and Furious actor Paul Walker and begins rapping Wiz Khalifa’s iconic verse.)
Dennis Rodman: DAMN…Who knew all the planes we flew? Good Things we’ve been through…That i’ll be standing right here…talking to you about another path I…Know we love to hit the road and laugh…But something told me that i wouldn’t last…Had to switch up, look at things different, see the bigger picture…Those were the days, hard work forever pays, now I see you in a better place…
The Visual Prophet: Sing it Dennis!
Kimmy: Rawrrrr!!!
Dennis Rodman: How can we not talk about family when family’s all that we got? Everything I’ve went through, you were standing there by my side! And now you gone be with me for this last ride!
The Visual Prophet: It’s been a long day without you, my friend…And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again!
Dennis Rodman: I see you again!
The Visual Prophet: We’ve come a long way
Dennis Rodman: Yeah, we came a long way…
The Visual Prophet: From where we began
Dennis Rodman: You know we started…
The Visual Prophet: Oh, I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again!
Dennis Rodman: Kim, Let me tell you
The Visual Prophet: When I see you again!
Jake Mercer: Sounds so beautiful, don’t you agree?!
Flannery McCoy: This is the most ridiculous thing i’ve ever witnessed in my professional career. I am at a loss of words to describe this entire situation. Sincerely,
Stew-O: This memorial for the rumored death of their mutual friend and admirer Kim Jong-Un has brought King Viz, NBA legend Dennis Rodman, and Kimmy the Tiger ringside as Viz enters the ring and Dennis hops off Kimmy the tiger and waits outside with said tiger.
The Visual Prophet: It’s been a rough few days for me, I can’t lie. With the alleged death of a friend near and dear to Dennis and my heart, it’s been hard for me to really focus on what’s going on career wise. I know, Kim Jong-Un wasn’t a perfect man. Hell, who amongst us really is perfect? Sure…a few war crimes and a bit of dictatorship can paint a guy as just an evil person to some of you. But, that’s not the guy I knew. That’s not the fella Dennis Rodman here was friends with. Bloody ‘ell, he wasn’t ALL THAT BAD! Jeez, let’s run down something people need to understand; Kim Jong-Un BELIEVED in The Visual Prophet when many of you hated me. Now, it’s wonderful how much love I receive. It’s beautiful that all the fans want to rejoice in my successes and celebrate my whimsical nature. It’s incredible how well liked and loved I am in the wrestling community but just a year ago…I was despised. I was hated. Allegations by past opponents that claimed I was a rapist, a gay man, a pedophile, and such never were believed by this beautfiul person we mourn tonight. Kim never turned his back on Viz. He even gave me this beautiful gift that has become this symbol of his love to me; he gave my KIMMY THE TIGER! Say hello baby!
Kimmy: Rawr.
The Visual Prophet: I know I am supposed to be strong. I know that I am one half of the Unified Tag Team champions. I know that I am your reigning King of Elite. But, DAMN IT…this hurts! I get choked up just thinking about the death of my friend.
Dennis Rodman: TAKE YO TIME, VIZZY!
The Visual Prophet: I will, Dennis. You know I will! I am a talented wrestler, the best wrestler in this company, the most entertaining athlete in the world today…but today I am just a sad guy hoping that things can get better for not just me but everyone around the world. The people dying worldwide from the Coronavirus, the children who have lost so much of their youth due to this pandemic, and the Korean people who are without a leader! If it comes down to it, if you all would like, I will gladly step up and become Supreme Leader of North Korea IF it needs someone worthy of succeeding Kim. I don’t really know how the logistics would work but it’s an option if needed exercising. This is me rambling, I know we have a show to do tonight. I know I have to get back to some kind of normal soon, I know I’ll have to take this frustration I feel out on someone or some people soon…I just wanted to start this show off with showing love to a friend that was near and dear to my heart.
Dennis Rodman: God bless you, my brother!
The Visual Prophet: Inshallah, good night you sweet prince. Now, a moment of silence for our fallen-
(‘This is your Life’ by The Dust Brothers & Tyler Durden plays. Out walks Unified Tag Team and World Heavyweight Champion Drake King as he is not wearing a suit rather than his ring gear and his signature shirt. Drake looks unamused as he has his hair in a man bun and begins stomping down the ramp. Kimmy and Rodman step aside as Drake slides in the ring.)
Jake Mercer: Looks like the World Champion and one half of our tag champs has come to pay respect to Kim as well.
Flannery McCoy: I promise you, he’s not going to do such a thing.
Stew-O: A bizarre beginning may find a bit of normalization as Drizzy and Vizzy stand in the ring and Drake’s music fades out.
Drake King: What is wrong with you?
The Visual Prophet: Ah shit, what I do now?
Drake King: What…what is all of this? What is this circus you are creating for yourself? Dennis Rodman? North Korean dictators? The freakin’ tiger is back in EAW?!?
Kimmy: Ra-
Drake King: Shut up, you stupid tiger! Jesus!
(Dennis, Kimmy, and Viz are taken aback as Drake rubs his hand over his face out of frustration.)
The Visual Prophet: Woah, now. Drake, don’t talk to Kimmy like that. We don’t need a Siegfried and Roy Tiger mauling situation to pop off now do we?
Drake King: Now you are threatening to sicc the tiger on me?
The Visual Prophet: No! I’m not! Just, you seem aggravated. What’s wrong?
Drake King: I feel like, you keep making a mockery of this sport every week with these weird irrelevant tangents. These insane segments. The decisions you make are puzzling and I think you should cut out all this buffoonery and focus on what matters. For Pete’s sake, Viz…we are the Unified Tag Team Champions!
Dennis Rodman: Of the world…
Drake King: Of the world, yes! Thanks…um…Dennis Rodman. We are the tag team champions and we are scheduled to face Fire & Ice at Gateway to Glory and you are moping around here like this over the death of a guy you’ve met maybe once?!
The Visual Prophet: I actually never met Kim Jong-Un and
Drake King: YOU NEVER EVEN MET HIM?! Really? You never met him and it hasn’t even been confirmed if he’s really dead. If he isn’t, then what? If he is…so what? That guy wasn’t a good guy no matter how many gifted tigers he gave to impressionable wrestlers. You even owning a tiger is baffling let alone it being one given to you by him!
The Visual Prophet: IKR.
Drake King: Look, get over this nonsense and focus up. You need to get it together. You wanted to sign the Peace Treaty, you wanted to keep Drizzy and Vizzy as a tag team, and you promised you would get it together and so far…you haven’t. You lost to Cage last week and…
The Visual Prophet: I mean…you were responsible for me losing to Cage if we are being honest, Drake.
Drake King: Look, I tried to help you and you blew it. Don’t blame me for that. You are so busy on Hot Takes with Ronan and having duets with ex-NBA washed up losers…no offense Dennis.
Dennis Rodman: Nah, I understand. I look like a monster in the face. It is what it is.
The Visual Prophet: Hey, at least he got to fuck Madonna and Carmena Electra. I only go to do one of those things.
Drake King: Hey!
(Drake puts a finger in Viz’s face.)
Drake King: Cut. The. Nonsense. Ok? Get your head in the game. Ok?
(Viz gently grabs Drake’s finger and then forcefully moves it out his face.)
The Visual Prophet: ….You’re right, Drake. As always. I’ll get more serious.
Drake King: Good, we don’t want those losers Raven and Rex to-
The Visual Prophet: AFTER ONE LAST SONG! HIT IT, JACK!
(‘Purple Rain’ by Prince begins to play as Dennis Rodman and King Viz begin to light up their lighters that they removed from their pockets. Dennis and Viz begin to vibe as Drake just shakes his head and throws his hands up before leaving.)
Stew-O: This was indeed a weird affair. Drake King tried to come out and reason with his tag team partner to get focused on their future match but I can’t tell if that pep talk worked as Dennis Rodman and Viz continue crooning for their apparently fallen friend.
Flannery McCoy: Drake knows a focused Viz is a problem for any opponents. Ironically, last time Rex and Viz fought…it was at the Fighting Spirit. The same week Kim Jong-Un actually gave Viz that same tiger that’s menacingly roaring ringside.
Jake Mercer: Jesus, that’s a big pussy. Not Kimmy, Dennis. He’s got this weird man-camel toe thing going on right now and it’s disturbing to see.
(The segment cuts to a commercial break as Viz and Dennis are doing their best Prince impressions as the show fades out.)
(EAW Hall of Fame 2020 #1 Announcement airs – //www.youtube.com/watch?v=CE1POeSIbFM&feature=emb_title)
(Dynasty comes back on air as the camera focuses on the commentary table)
Stew-O: We’d like to send a congrats to the first inductee of the 2020 EAW Hall of Fame, Rex McAllister! 2020 is looking like an amazing year for him so far with two huge accomplishments, and he has the chance to put the cherry on top at this upcoming PFP!
Flannery McCoy: Indeed, major props are in order for Rex! Helluva career! Speaking of PFP, up next we get to see a man who has an unsure path to PFP right now but knowing him.. I’m sure that path will be found soon.
(“Judas” by Fozzy hits to imaginary boos.)
Stephie Love: Introducing first from New York, New York weighing in at 210 pounds… HEEEEEEVEL!!!
(Hevel comes out looking arrogant and like he doesn’t want to be here.)
Flannery McCoy: This guy is annoying.
Jake Mercer: Nah.
Stew-O: He is a unique personality to say the least… but tonight we will find out if he is a unique talent as well up against a challenge like this…
(“Friend vs. Friend” by Company Flow hits to an imaginary rage riot.)
Stephie Love: And his opponent from Oakland, California weighing in at 230 pounds he is “The Inevitable” LEEEEEETHAL CONSEQUENCES!!!!!
Jake Mercer: Rrrrr
Flannery McCoy: What are you doing?
Jake Mercer: Purrrrrrrr
Stew-O: *audibly facepalms*
(Lethal Consequences enters the ring laughing at Hevel showing how much he sees him as an unworthy opponent.)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: Here we go. Lethal Consequences and Hevel lock up in the ring. But Hevel quickly pushes Lethal away from him.
(Hevel slaps the shit out of Lethal Consequences.)
Flannery McCoy: Oh shit!
Hevel: I’m better than you!
(Lethal Consequences slaps the shit out of Hevel.)
Lethal Consequences: But I don’t know it!
Jake Mercer: My childhood hero Lethal Consequences immediately locks back up with Hevel again and quickly transitions into a waist lock. Belly to Belly Suplex! Hevel sent flipping and flying across the ring crashing down hard holding his back. He groans and gets right back up only to be met with a flurry of punches from Lethal. Hevel knocked back against the ropes as Lethal is now lighting him up with this pummel attack. The referee warning Lethal but let’s be real he’s not going to listen. Lethal whips Hevel back across the ring with Hevel audibly grunting as his hurt back hits the ropes. But he is no mere rookie and he has completed basic wrestling training so bouncing off the ropes is no big deal for the likes of him. However wrestling training may not have prepared him for Lethal Consequences!
Flannery McCoy: BICYCLE KICK CONNECTS! Hevel goes down with a thud! Lethal Consequences to the cover!
Referee: ONEEEEE! TWOOOOOO!!!
Stew-O: Kick out by Hevel!
Jake Mercer: But Lethal Consequences now transitioning to a ground and pound style like the veteran he is. Forcing Hevel’s arms down to the mat and using his boot to press against the back of his opponents neck. Pulling back and forth on the arms all the while. Has to be painful for Hevel. He is trapped and can’t even use his arms to escape! Hevel desperately pushing with his legs trying to throw Lethal up and off him. He pushes… and lunges… but Lethal holds on! Hevel falls hard on his face with his arms nearly rippling out of their sockets as Lethal’s boot lands down hard on the back of his neck jerking it down. His spine curves in a wave like motion as Lethal forces him right back down into the same position that he was in just a few moments ago. He might have no choice but to tap out here. He is still such a young talent it would be a shame to suffer a severe spinal injury so soon after his debut!
Flannery McCoy: But wait! Hevel forcing himself back up with his legs! Even Lethal Consequences looks shocked as he hangs on in this odd hold he has applied. Hevel grinding his feet against the mat trying to obtain some leverage here… he has his toes bent trying to gain some pressure… has he got it…
Stew-O: He pushes back with his toes… AND LUNGES AGAIN!!! GOD DAMN THAT HAD TO BE THE DEFINITION OF SUFFERING! THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENS AS HE COMES CRASHING DOWN! LETHAL’S BOOT TO HIS NECK! HIS ARMS PULLED OUT THE SOCKETS AND MY GOT WHAT KIND OF DAMAGE IS THIS MAN DOING TO HIS BACK? JUST GIVE IN ALREADY HEVEL!
Jake Mercer: Not so fast! It’s not quite so different! As his head snapped down under the boot of Lethal Consequences he landed neck first on the bottom rope! Hevel having the life choked out of his here! I can’t even…
Referee: ONEEEE!!!! TWOOOO!! THREEEEEE!!!! FOURRRR!!!! FIVEEEE!!! IIGHT LETHAL ENOUGH! BREAK IT UP! BREAK IT UP!
Flannery McCoy: Somehow Hevel did it! He made it to the ropes! But at what cost? It doesn’t appear that Lethal Consequences actually wants to relinquish this hold however. But unless he wants to get disqualified he really is going to have no choice here. Lethal reluctantly let’s go as Hevel coughs and gags feeling the oxygen flow back into his lungs sounding like a severe COVID patient out here. Hevel survives for now but the damage may have been done. Lethal reaches down clawing into the forehead of Hevel as he palms his forehead. He forces him back up to his feet… and punches him hard in the face! Hevel falls back against the ropes reeling now from that punishment.
Stew-O: But wait! There’s more! Hevel bounces back off the ropes firing shots at Lethal Consequences like a man possessed! Lethal is shook! He can’t defend himself against this onslaught! Lethal stumbles back from the barrage as he falls into the turnbuckle… but Hevel charges in leaping up onto Lethal’s midsection with both feet. He falls back and throws Lethal high up into the air flipping him over onto his back! Hevel off the ropes! He comes thru and he runs thru as he drops his elbow down hard onto Lethal! Back up as he looks to do it again! This time with extra leaping theatrics for extra impact! It connects! He’s on a roll now! Back up! Off the ropes! Elbow fucking drop! Again! Again! Elbow dr-
Jake Mercer: As Hevel falls with the Elbow Drop his arm is caught by Lethal Consequences! He pulls him down into a Crippler Crossface! Hevel being stretched out here!
Flannery McCoy: Hevel taps immediately!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stephie Love: Here is your winner… LEEEEEETHAL CONSEQUENCES!!!!!
(“Friend vs. Friend” by Company Flow hits as Lethal Consequences has his arm raised.)
Jake Mercer: A dominant victory here tonight by the EAW Hall of Famer Lethal Consequences.
Flannery McCoy: Hevel may have to wait a few years before he gets the call for his own induction but a respectable attempt nonetheless.
Stew-O: Lethal was just extra “lethal” tonight. :mjgrin:
Flannery and Jake: :skip:
(The camera cuts to a commercial for the Reopen EAW Movement. Join the protests today and win back your constitutional right to assemble at a professional wrestling sporting event. The most essential of all businesses.)
(The camera fades to ringside where construction workers are shown laying bricks around the ring.)
Flannery McCoy: What is going on here?
Stew-O: I really have no idea…
(The workers continue working for some time placing brick on top of brick until they have enclosed the entire ring aside from a small area near the ring steps closest to the entrance ramp.)
Jake Mercer: Well at least now we have extra protection just in case the wrestlers get out of hand. I’m getting tired of them breaking my table all the time.
Flannery McCoy: Your table?
Jake Mercer: I said what I said.
(Suddenly the American national anthem begins to play.)
Stew-O: O
Flannery McCoy: I guess we are feeling a little patriotic today…
Jake Mercer: God damn it Flannery stand up! Hand over your heart! Show some respect!
(Jake Mercer is shown standing on top of the commentary table proudly saluting the American flag as a group of armed men in protective vests and helmets make their way down to the ring. The back of their vests reading POLICE and ICE. One of the officers is shown laughing as he swings a baton around in a threatening manner.)
Stew-O: I repeat. O.
Flannery McCoy: Ummm did I do something wrong officer? We don’t usually have law enforcement agents present in the arena during shows. Are we going under martial law due to the coronavirus? I didn’t realize it had gotten THAT bad here.
Jake Mercer: This is ICE Flannery you should be more familiar with our government agencies Flannery! They are an important part of protecting us Americans!
(Several of the officers take positions around ringside with them concentrated around the small opening of the ring steps. The rest each take a corner of the ring holding their weapons as they look from side to side from any disturbances.)
Stew-O: It looks like that guy is going to speak.
(An ICE officer with a bandana and a long matted mullet takes the microphone from Stephie Love. He sets his sniper rifle down in the corner of the ring as he turns to face the cameras.)
ICE Officer: ATTENTION! This is a public service announcement brought to you by the GODDAMN UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! I’m sure you all know who we are. I’m sure all of you out there are feeling a little uncomfortable just seeing our presence here on your television sets. If that is the case then I sincerely apologize… I apologize for you being illegal scum! For you see my name is I am the head official for US Immigration and Customs Enforcement Branch #69696969 and we are here to uphold the law! Our duties include enforcement and removal operations of the most dangerous criminals that society has to offer. We uphold the immigration law of this country in order to protect YOU my fellow Americans! Are you tired of all the illegal criminal gangs terrorizing your neighborhoods? Well just give us a call and we will deal with them. Tired of illegals selling drugs behind your public schools? You call ICE! Tired of seeing that brown guy get a promotion at work before you? You damn well better call ICE!
Jake Mercer: Oh shit I guess I better call ICE.
Flannery McCoy: I already took your phone away.
Jake Mercer: FUCK!
Stew-O: They are already here why don’t you go talk to them?
Jake Mercer: They have guns and look kind of scary…
ICE Officer: We are here today to investigate a number of Fugitive Alien Removal cases related to EAW. We have received numerous complaints about illicit practices being undertaken by this company and we are here to put a stop to it! I see that there are no fans in attendance here today. That is good. Very good. We here at ICE like to see a place with as few people as possible. If there are to be any people around they better be up to our standards! American standards that is! Now let me tell you. We have been spending all our time backstage and we have made numerous arrests already. The EAW roster is filled with illegal criminal elements. Those we have not arrested but intend to keep a close eye on include Angel de Plata Jr., Osamu Arcichida, El Landerson, and Jamie O’Hara.
Jake Mercer: See Flannery. I told you they aren’t racist. They included Jamie in there.
Flannery McCoy: I know Jake. I heard them. I’m not so sure that this makes it better or worse…
Stew-O: He’s not even on this brand… Are they investigating the entire company?!?
ICE Officer: Unfortunately some others were not so lucky… But you at home are lucky because due to mandates by whiny social justice warriors behind their keyboards we have to wear body cameras. So here you go I hope you are all entertained.
(The body camera fades in to the backstage area of EAW. A brightly lit hallway is seen with a couple of performance center talents talking to each other. After a fist bump the two walk away leaving the hallway completely empty.)
Flannery McCoy: I’m not so sure what we are supposed to be seeing here…
Jake Mercer: Shhh Flannery! Seen and not heard!
Flannery McCoy: O
(After a few moments a vent in the ceiling is shown moving. After loud creaking noises the vent cover is broken off. However, suddenly the entire ceiling collapses in a mess of wood and dust.
???: Ohhh my back! Ahh! What in tarnation!
Stew-O: What the hell? There was someone up there? I saw that mess earlier when I was backstage but it was taped off so I didn’t know what was going on…
Flannery McCoy: It looks like someone was crawling through the air ducts backstage. But who the hell is that?
(Eventually the dust clears to reveal a masked luchador with black ninja inspired gear.)
Jake Mercer: Oh shit that’s… that’s!
Stew-O: It’s Santo Muerte! What the hell is he doing here?
Flannery McCoy: Don’t you mean Jacob Senn? I thought he was on Showdown?
Jake Mercer: I thought he was fired…
Stew-O: Looks like he is sneaking in!
(Sennto Muerte slowly gets back up to his feet as he dusts himself off.)
Sennto Muerte: Alright… now it’s time to take my brand back! Where is the GM’s office? Hehehe! I haven’t been this excited since my first cousin said yes to my proposal!
(Suddenly loud whistles and sirens are heard.)
???: FREEZE! TIRARSE AL SUELO! MUÉSTRAME TUS MANOS!
Sennto Muerte: OH SHIT NO!
(Senn is immediately swarmed by ICE agents surrounding him with weapons and forcing him down on the ground. They place handcuffs on him and pull him up.)
ICE Officer: So… you thought you could just hop the border and sneak on in here to Dynasty huh? I’m going to send you right on back to that dirty third world country you came from!
Sennto Muerte: What? No! I’m from Alabama! I’m an American citizen.
(The ICE officers stop for a moment to examine his attire.)
ICE Officer: Oh yeah chico. I can really tell. I guess we will check with the General Manager and find out just if what you say really is true.
Sennto Muerte: YES DO THAT! No wait… then they will know I’m Jacob Senn and I’ll never be able to regain my control over Dynasty… Uhhh shit! Actually… Soy de Mexico. Me gustan tacos. Me wearo uno sombrero.
ICE Officer: I’m completely convinced. This man is clearly a dangerous Mexican criminal. Get him to the truck! He will be transported to a detention center on the double!!!
(Sennto Muerte is apprehended and taken away by the ICE Officers before the footage cuts out.)
Flannery McCoy: Well if that is the kind of person they are arresting then I guess I don’t really see a problem with this…
Jake Mercer: Good good Flannery. Now that’s what I call patriotism!
ICE Officer: As you can see we are making Dynasty great again. But this wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for our benefactor. An absolutely stunning and brave independent woman who tipped us off to the goings on around here in the first place. We are actually out here tonight in order to commemorate her contribution to her country.
Stew-O: Oh shit! Someone snitched?
Jake Mercer: “contributed to her country”.
ICE Officer: Ladies and gentlemen at this time please allow me to introduce to you all… the lovely and fair… KENSINGTEN CALHOUN-ASTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(“Hell on Heels” by Pistol Annies hits as Kensingten Calhoun-Astor comes out in a bright yellow sundress with pretty white flowers all over it. She walks down to the ring with a big smile on her face making sure to stop to pay her respects to the American flag placed at ringside. As she approaches the ring steps her smile widens to look at the ICE officers guarding entry.)
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: Good evening to you fine gentlemen! Keeping the peace I see! Well I do believe this country deserves only the best! Oh yes we need to capture these rascallions faster than a gator in the kitchen. Oh lawd yes we do!
ICE Officer: Glad to have you here Miss Kensingten! Please by all means we grant you entry!
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: Well ain’t you just a peach!
(Kensingten Calhoun-Astor skips through the opening in the brick wall as she climbs the stairs into the ring and takes the microphone from the ICE Officer.)
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: Loooooooooooooooooooooooord! It surely is good to see justice be served! Even here in an urban dump like New Jersey! Really now! If EAW wanted performance they should have sent their trainees down south! We would really set them straight! Isn’t that right good sir?
ICE Officer: Oh you are absolutely right Miss Kensingten. If it isn’t straight we will correct that real quick.
(The ICE Officer twirls his baton menacingly.)
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: Oh yes indeed that is right! Ugh but I have to say. While I do feel a little safer in here nowadays I can’t say that I would feel comfortable bringing my kids to this kind of environment. I mean it’s only a matter of time until we reopen EAW. I know you are worried about catching some little cold or something but EAW has to put its business first! We need to remember that the economy is important y’all! So you just know that little old me is going to be doing all she can to make sure EAW is a better place for all so we can reopen this place as fast as possible! That starts with getting rid of all that illegal criminal scum like the man you all arrested earlier tonight! Now I will say I am disappointed you failed to apprehend the others you mentioned… especially that savage El Landerson. Did you know he sold a bomb to a wrestler before a match last year? Is that really the kind of man who should be in this country? Oh really now… I am getting my feathers rustled worse than a Carolina chickadee! You see there is one man backstage who concerns me above all else and I really hope that you will deal with him sooner than later.
ICE Officer: Yes Miss Kensingten. We will deal with threats such as him swiftly and harshly.
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: You have no idea what a relief it is to hear you say that! You see last week this… man… if you can even call him that… approached me backstage. Can you believe that? ME! Loooooooooooooooooord! You should have heard the things that he said to me! Did you know he called me mamacita? Did you know that he implied that I smell like a wet dog? What is wrong with these people?
ICE Officer: Mamacita? This sure sounds like a serious illegal criminal entity operating out of the shadows right here in Elite Answers Wrestling.
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: Exactly my thoughts. Which is why right now I am going to be calling him out to this ring immediately to face the music! TLA why don’t you get your posterior down to this ring this instant!
Flannery McCoy: Oh shit! Kensingten Calhoun-Astor calling out TLA?
Stew-O: Will the former World Heavyweight Champion answer her challenge?
Jake Mercer: Well if there is one thing that illegals know how to do it is run away…
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac blasts across the speakers.)
Flannery McCoy: I guess we don’t have to worry about him running!
Stew-O: LA PANTERA SEXUAL IS HERE AT THE PERFORMANCE CENTER!
(TLA comes driving out to the ring in the longest lowrider that he has been seen driving. Steroid Dawg is seen barking in the back seat smiling happily as TLA bounces on the entrance ramp. Kensingten is shown backing away behind the ICE Officer as TLA grabs a number of lucha masks out of the glove compartment.)
Jake Mercer: What the hell is he doing with those? Is he going to try to hide his identity so that he can sneak in to the country?
Flannery McCoy: I’m not sure if you realize this but we are actually in New Jersey right now…
(TLA slides across the hood of his lowrider before making his way to the ri-)
ICE Officer: HALT! IDENTIFICATION PLEASE!
TLA: ¿Qué? No te entiendo señor.
ICE Officer: Papeles por favor!
TLA: Oh shit I got you ese. I ain’t always understand the shit y’all gringos be spittin’ until you spell it out like that for yo boi.
ICE Officer: Ahora!
TLA: Tranquilo yo I got that paper right here homie.
(TLA drops something into the ICE officer’s hand.)
ICE Officer: What is this?
TLA: Dinero holmes. You ain’t even needed to see shit. Errybody knows I always be making that paper!
ICE Officer: The audacity!
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: Arrest him now! It’s clear that he doesn’t have any! He’s not legal! Catch him quickly!
TLA: Yo yo yo just hold up a minute now with all that. Just let me look I’m sure I got my papers around here somewhere. Lemme check out over here…
(TLA sets down the lucha masks on the hood of his lowrider.)
TLA: I been working real hard on these ya heard? Been down in my dungeon sewing the shit out these mascaras. Gonna donate them to kids n shit. So they can breathe safely out there. A luchador gotta do his part if you feel me. But yo I’m just one of many gotta contribute to that cause.
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: He’s stalling! Just get it over with and put the handcuffs on!
TLA: Yo give me a minute. You know we in the Performance Center and when it comes to La Pantera Sexual you can never doubt my performance! Now let me see if I can find these things…
(TLA begins rummaging through the trunk of his lowrider. He briefly pulls out a bong but then tosses it aside. He shuffles through an entire pack of fake IDs but then puts them back inside the trunk in a safe place. TLA pulls out a SEGA Dreamcast that he didn’t realize he even owned or was alive long enough to have ever owned. TLA then crawls inside the trunk as he is really digging deep now.)
*CLANK*
Flannery McCoy: What was that noise?
Jake Mercer: I don’t know but that didn’t sound like immigration papers to me.
(TLA crawls out of the trunk bringing behind him a massive ladder. The ladder is adorned with a number of scratches as if to indicate that it has been used frequently. TLA carries the ladder towards the ring.)
ICE Official: HALT! You cannot pass! Put down the ladder boy!
TLA: Hold up I got what you need.
(TLA pulls out a piece of paper from his hoodie and hands it to the ICE Official. The ICE Official calls the others over as they begin to review it. They hold it up to the light as if trying to figure out if it is a forgery before handing it back to TLA.)
ICE Official: Well this isn’t exactly what we were asking for… We are going to need…
TLA: Nah nah good enough. A vato got business to attend to real quick.
(TLA leans the ladder up against the brick wall surrounding the ring before running up the side of it and jumping into the ring over the head of the lead ICE Official to stand right in front of Kensingten!!!)
Jake Mercer: NO! SOMEBODY STOP HIM! TLA HAS HOPPED THE BORDER! HE’S IN THE RING ILLEGALLY AND HE’S GOING AFTER KENSINGTEN!!! MY PRECIOUS SOUTHERN BELLE!!!
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: I’m warning you! Stay away from me!
TLA: Well I will do my best mami but I’m afraid that I ain’t gonna be able to stay away for long. See you wanted my papers and I came out here to bring them to you. So here you go.
(TLA hands the paper over to Kensingten. She looks disgusted as she puts on a long velvet glove before taking the paper from TLA. She looks at it as her eyes widen.)
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: TLA VS. KENSINGTEN AT GATEWAY TO GLORY? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
TLA: It ain’t no joke! It’s real. It’s legal. But yo if you looking for something illegal then what imma do to you in Wyoming just might qualify!!!
Stew-O: What? Is that paper…
Flannery McCoy: It’s a match contract! Signed by the GM himself! TLA vs. Kensingten is fucking confirmed!
Jake Mercer: Oh I don’t like this Flannery! TLA shouldn’t even be allowed in the country and now he’s getting wrestling matches? What has this world come to?
Stew-O: TLA has been wrestling for this company longer than like 90% of the roster…
Jake Mercer: I refuse to believe that.
(TLA grabs the ladder and pulls it over into the ring before hopping out onto the apron. TLA rams the ladder hard into the wall sending bricks flying everywhere. Kensingten is heard yelling things that have to be bleeped out on the broadcast but it is quickly drowned out when TLA’s music begins playing yet again.)
Flannery McCoy: Despite whatever we just witnessed was… I have to say that I am hyped for this match. TLA vs. Kensingten Calhoun-Astor is an unconventional match to say the least but that is what we are all about here in EAW!
Stew-O: Gateway to Glory is really shaping up to be a phenomenal show. The other brands have to be shook! Dynasty just keeps piling classic on top of classic!
(TLA is shown hopping into his lowrider. He briefly drives forward to break even more of the wall before reversing out of the arena. Kensingten is shown yelling at the ICE Officers who shrug and say there is nothing they can do.)
(Camera cuts to a commercial for the Poon Palace. With the President’s executive order to reopen meat packing plants we believe we qualify and are now open 24/7!!! Come pack your meat in some Poon today!)
(Dynasty comes back on air as Justin Windgate and Andre Walker are shown sitting at the commentators table with Stew-O, Flannery McCoy, and Jake Mercer. After a moment, “The News Countdown” by BBC News hits, and Eddie Terial steps out onto the stage, writing in his journal.)
Stephie Love: The following contest is set for ONE FALL!! Introducing first.. From New York, New York.. Weighing in at 185lbs!!! THE HEADLINER!!! EDDIE TERIALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!
Andre Walker: What the hell is he writing?
Jake Mercer: Probably about how the greatest wrestling journalist is having his match called by the greatest commentator in pro wrestling history :smugcena:
Flannery McCoy: How could you be the greatest commentator when all of your “facts” are fiction? :bronfoh:
(Eddie Terial raises his journal up as the page has the words “THIS JUST IN! Eddie Terial on his way to beat W1LH3LM” written on it. He then struts down the ramp and towards the ring with a cocky attitude.)
Stew-O: Last week, Eddie Terial made his in-ring debut as an EAW Elitist. He ended up winning a fast paced fatal 4 way match with three other young stars on the Dynasty Roster.
Jake Mercer: People don’t really like Eddie’s chances here tonight as he’s going up against one of the top contenders for the New Breed Title. But what people don’t understand is that Eddie is undefeated. He has never taken a loss! He went from journalist to winning an EAW match just like that. He is the future of this company and I think he has what it takes against anyone!
Andre Walker: You’ll never catch me on one of his headlines unless I’m the one showing out. I have a New Breed title to fight for. I need to keep myself known as one of the top rising stars in this company. There’s no room for questionable outcomes against journalists.
(Eddie Terial is seen inside the ring, as he tosses his journal to the ground at ringside. After a moment, the lights switch off as “Ricky” by Denzel Curry hits. Once the pre-chorus hits, the lights turn back on and W1LH3LM is seen shooting up onto the stage. He has a mini statue, called Quantum, that he is carrying to the ring. He looks into the camera, and begins shuffling down the ramp while hyping up the fans sitting at home by screaming out some chants to the camera following him)
Stephie Love: And his opponent!! From Toronto, Canada, weighing in at 205lbs!!!! W1LH3LM!!!
Stew-O: Last week, W1LH3LM picked up a big victory over Ryan Wilson after making him tap out! W1LH3LM has been phenomenal since debuting here in EAW. Being the former New Breed Champion, this man probably caught your attention as a potential contender for you, right Windgate?
Justin Windgate: (Seen sparking up a blunt) Yeah of course! Every time someone with potential stepped into the EAW ring for the first time, I’d have my eyes glued to my television screen because that person could have been my next number one contender. W1LH3LM has definitely been on my radar the past few weeks. The way he gets the crowd involved and stays true to his style is impressive. You can definitely see the influence that legends like Mr. DEDEDE, Cage, Brody Sparks, and Heart Break Boy had on him. That statue though? I don’t know how I feel about it.
Jake Mercer: Did you have to bring the marijuana back here?
Justin Windgate: (Blowing smoke into Jake Mercer’s face) Of course I did. Hey Flan, you gon’ let me hit?
Flannery McCoy: Yeah!
Jake Mercer: What?!?!
Justin Windgate: (Handing the blunt to Flannery McCoy) I just asked if she wanted to take a hit, damn..
(Flannery McCoy takes a hit then begins to cough before handing the blunt to Stew-O. Stew-O hesitates for a second then takes a hit of the blunt, and begins to cough himself. The blunt makes its way back over to Justin Windgate, as he extends the blunt out to Andre Walker)
Justin Windgate: You tryna take a hit too?
Andre Walker: (Looks at the blunt in disgust, then back up at Windgate.) I don’t smoke reggie bro..
(W1LH3LM is seen standing on the top turnbuckle taunting for the camera. He hops off of the top turnbuckle and places “Quantum” on the steel steps behind him. W1LH3LM then turns to face Eddie Terial who stands at the other end of the ring)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O & Flannery McCoy: …………………………………………….
Jake Mercer: Are either of you going to say anything?
(Mercer looks over at Flannery and Stew-O who are trying to keep themselves from laughing. The marijuana has definitely kicked in. Flannery and Stew-O whisper to each other before Flannery turns to Jake Mercer and whispers into his ear)
Jake Mercer: YOU GUYS CAN’T COMMENTATE BECAUSE YOU’RE TOO HIGH!?!?!
Justin Windgate: Chill out Jake. Stew and Flannery, just sit back and relax. Enjoy your front row seat match. I’m sure Andre, Jake, and I got it all covered.
Stew-O: (Giggling) Sounds like a plan!
Flannery McCoy: (Smiling wide) I second that!
Justin Windgate: WOAHHH!!!! RUNNING FOREARM BY EDDIE TERIAL ONTO W1LH3LM!!!
Andre Walker: NO! Eddie misses as W1LH3LM manages to duck under the arm! W1LH3LM continues to the ropes, he bounces back! Running clothesline by W1LH3LM!!! NO!!! Eddie Terial reverses it by side stepping and tossing W1LH3LM through the ropes!!
Justin Windgate: Not so fast! W1LH3LM adjusts his body so that he can spring back!!! AND W1LH3LM connects with the rebound lariat!!! Eddie Terial hits the canvas hard but pops right back up!! JUMPING CALF KICK BY W1LH3LM!!! It connects and this time Eddie Terial is down!
Jake Mercer: The Journalist is definitely seeing stars right now as W1LH3LM brings him up to his feet. Eddie Terial stands groggy but is hit with a powerful back handed chop to the chest! And another! W1LH3LM now grabs Eddie Terial by the arm and whips him to the corner!! Eddie crashes against the turnbuckle hard! W1LH3LM now at the other end of the ring. He’s staring down Eddie! And now..
(W1LH3LM turns to his mini statue, Quantum, and begins to speak to it)
W1LH3LM(Off-Mic): Thank you for the support Quantum!! I’m so glad you’re able to watch me compete!
Flannery McCoy: :yikes: Am I really that high? Or did W1LH3LM just talk to his statue?
Andre Walker: Nah, you’re right. He’s being an idiot.
Jake Mercer: And W1LH3LM charges at Eddie Terial with a running body splash!!! NO!!! Eddie gets his boots up as W1LH3LM goes face first into them!! The force from that boot causes W1LH3LM to turn around in pain. Eddie Terial is now climbing up to the top turnbuckle! W1LH3LM turns around!!!! DIVING MOONSAULT BY EDDIE TERIAL!!!!
Justin Windgate: NO!!! W1LH3LM runs towards the turnbuckle as Eddie flips right past and behind him!! Eddie stumbles on the landing but quickly turns W1LH3LM around and kicks him in the gut!!! SNAP DDT!!!!! IT CONNECTS!!! Eddie now gets up to his feet and stands beside W1LH3LM!! STANDING MOONSAULT!!! IT CONNECTS!!!! Eddie hooks the legs!
Referee: ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
THR-
Andre Walker: Kickout by W1LH3LM!
Justin Windgate: Eddie Terial now gets up to his feet. He grabs W1LH3LM by the head and brings him up to his feet as well. Eddie wraps his arms around W1LH3LM!! GERMAN SUPLEX BY EDDIE TERIAL!! W1LHELM is down!!
Andre Walker: Is this really what I’m up against at Gateway to Glory? If so, then I’ve got this in the bag.
Justin Windgate: Don’t forget that I’m in that match too. The bag’s mine.
Jake Mercer: Eddie Terial has gotten back up to his feet. He makes his way over to the side of the ring, where he exits through the ropes and steps out onto the apron! W1LH3LM has gotten up to his hands and knees!! Eddie looking to slingshot himself back into the ring!!!
Justin Windgate: But no!! W1LH3LM charges at Eddie Terial with a quick bolt of energy and connects with a forearm to the face! Eddie nearly falls off of the ring apron, but he hangs onto the ring ropes to prevent that from happening! W1LH3LM with a strong right hand to the top of Eddie’s head! Another! And another!!! Eddie Terial almost losing his grip and falling to the ringside floor, but W1LH3LM grabs a hold of him and turns his body around so that Eddie’s back is against the ring ropes on the ring apron!! W1LH3LM holds him in place.. AND CONNECTS WITH HUGE INVERTED FOREARM CLUBS THAT BASH AGAINST THE CHEST OF EDDIE TERIAL!!!! Eddie falls to the ringside floor!!!!
Andre Walker: W1LH3LM is really feeling himself right now. He looks over at.. Wait.. You can’t be serious..
(W1LH3LM is seen staring at Quantum the mini statue again)
W1LH3LM(Off-Mic): This one’s for you Best Friend!!!
Stew-O: He said best friend!?
Flannery McCoy: (laughing) Yeah! What the hell is going on!?! Why is he talking to an inanimate object!?
Justin Windgate: W1LH3LM IS CHARGING TOWARDS THE ROPES!!! EDDIE STANDS UP ON THE OUTSIDE!!!!! SUICIDE DIVE THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPES BY W1LH3LM!!!!!!
Jake Mercer: W1LH3LM just took Eddie out with that move right there! Both men are down!!
Justin Windgate: I heard that he had something going on with a statue.. I just didn’t believe it.. I’m starting to question whether this weed is laced or not…
Andre Walker: No.. The dude is really speaking to a rock. Or maybe I’m just getting high from second hand smoking that reggie you were had moments ago..
Justin Windgate: Fuck off dude..
Andre Walker: Right now, I’m not trying to be your friend or W1LH3LM’s friend. I’m just trying to get in the right mindset to beat you both at Gateway to Glory.
Justin Windgate: You may not want the smoke now, but you’re getting all the smoke available on May 16th. Remember that Dre..
(Justin Windgate and Andre Walker continue arguing with one another as W1LH3LM walks their way. W1LH3LM stops by his statue, Quantum, and bends down next to it and points at Windgate and Andre Walker)
W1LH3LM(Off-Mic): You see those two? Those are the guys that you get to see lose to me at Gateway to Glory!!
Flannery McCoy: He’s actually talking to it..
Jake Mercer: W1LH3LM now begins to make his way over to Eddie Terial-
Andre Walker: SUPERKICK BY EDDIE TERIAL!!! It catches W1L053R in the face as he leans his chest against the ring apron! Eddie walks up to W1LH3LM and bashes his head against that ring apron before rolling him back into the ring!!!! Eddie slides in right after wards!!
Justin Windgate: Eddie Terial now climbs up to the top rope!! He’s looking down at W1LH3LM!!! EDDIE LEAPS!!! BREAKING NEWS!!!! SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!!!!!
Jake Mercer: NO!!!! W1LH3LM rolls out of the way as Eddie slams straight down onto the canvas chest first!! The momentum forces him to pop up to his feet!! W1LH3LM stands up behind Eddie and wraps his arms around him!!! DEATH BY W1lH3LM!!!! THAT’S THE BACK SUPLEX DOUBLE KNEE BACKBREAKER!!!! IT CONNECTS!!!!! EDDIE TERIAL IS OUT COLD AS W1LH3LM LOOKS BACK AT HIS STATUE, QUANTUM, AND GIVES IT A THUMBS UP!! W1LH3LM FOR THE PIN!!!
Referee: ONNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
TWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
THHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Ricky” by Denzel Curry hits as W1LH3LM stands up and gets his hand raised by the referee)
Stephie Love: Here is your winner… W1LH3LM!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Impressive victory by W1LH3LM!! But that statue!?
Flannery McCoy: Is the statue alive or something? I’m way too high to comprehend what’s going on with him. This is way too much.
Jake Mercer: No Flannery, it’s enchanted with powers and comes to life at night!
Flannery McCoy: (stoned) really???
Andre Walker: No, Jake is just being a dumbass as well..
(Andre Walker stands up from his seat at the commentary tables and heads over to the ring. He picks up W1LH3LM’s statue, Quantum, and walks around the ring. Eventually W1LH3LM notices that Andre has his beloved statue)
W1LH3LM(Off-Mic): Wait! What are you doing!! Bring it back!!! That’s my best friend!!!
(Andre Walker slides into the ring with Quantum)
Andre Walker(Off-Mic): (Tossing Quantum up and down like it’s just a toy ball) You want this back? Well too bad. You sound like you’re the one that’s been smoking weed by talking to this statue the way you have. It’s not real dude..
W1LH3LM (Off-Mic): Stop tossing it like that!! You’re scaring it!!! Give it back Andre!!!
Andre Walker(Off-Mic): I’m scaring it?? You’re scaring Flannery McCoy and Stew-O. Actually, you’re scaring all of us. Like what the hell are you doing talking to a rock? You have those idiots down there thinking this thing is alive..
(Justin Windgate takes gets out of his seat and slides himself into the ring. He stands beside W1LH3LM)
Justin Windgate: Hey yo.. I don’t like that statue either, but just give it back to him. Maybe that statue is to him what marijuana is to me. Don’t take that away from him…
Andre Walker(Off-Mic): Now I’ve got the drug addict lecturing me about what’s right and wrong.. Ironic..
W1LH3LM(Off-Mic): Give it back Andre. I won’t say it again..
Andre Walker(Off-Mic): Is that a threat?
W1LH3LM(Off-Mic): Well if the shoe fits-
(BANG!)
Stew-O: AND ANDRE WALKER CRACKS W1LH3LM OFF THE TOP OF THE HEAD WITH THAT STATUE!!!!! W1LH3lM IS DOWN!!! AND ANDRE TURNS AND BASHES JUSTIN WINDGATE’S HEAD WITH THE STATUE AS WELL!!!
Jake Mercer: NO!!! WINDGATE DODGES IT AND GETS BEHIND ANDRE!!! ANDRE TURNS AROUND!!!
Flannery McCoy: AND ANDRE WALKER CHUCKS THE STATUE RIGHT INTO JUSTIN WINDGATE’S FACE!!!! WINDGATE AND W1LH3LM ARE DOWN AND OUT!!!!
(Andre Walker picks up the statue from the canvas and slides out of the ring with it. He begins walking backwards up the ramp as he tosses Quantum up and down while staring back at both of the unconscious Elitists laying in the center of the ring)
Stew-O: Well there is no questioning it!! Andre Walker is focused on one thing. Winning at Gateway to Glory!! The confusion with Quantum the statue isn’t fooling him a single bit. He’s even leaving with the statue with him!
Flannery McCoy: So the statue isn’t alive?
Jake Mercer: It is :mjlit:
Flannery McCoy: Since Jake said it is, I guess it’s not..
Jake Mercer: Ugh, you’re sobering up..
Flannery McCoy: Right on time too. That was wild!!!!
Stew-O: Yeah it was! We just smoked a little bit of weed, watched Eddie and W1LH3LM go at it, then witnessed these three top contenders exchange verbal strikes at one another before Andre took everyone out himself!!! These three men bring excitement to EAW’s New Breed Division, but only one of them can call themselves the number 1 contender for Jalyn Garcia’s New Breed Championship after Gateway to Glory!!! Who will it be!?!
(The camera shows Andre Walker standing at the top of the stage tossing Quantum up and down with one hand like it was a baseball. The screen then shows Windgate and W1LH3LM clutching their heads in pain as they both lay on the canvas of the ring. The screen then fades to black)
(Dynasty cuts from the ring area and fades to a backstage area of the Performance Center. In what resembles the same setting from last week, both Sienna Jade and Kassidy Heart are leaning against the wall, both dressed in their gear because they have matches later, and both of them are still trying to come to terms with the situation they have been put in. Both had interesting perspectives that were revealed during the week, to say the least.)
Sienna Jade: Have you given any more thought to what we talked about on Wednesday?
(Kassidy finally looked over at her bestie, and she couldn’t help but give her a guilty look. Sienna let out a dramatic sigh and folded her arms across her chest.)
Sienna Jade: Kassi-Poo! What purpose does fucking Ryan Adams serve if you aren’t going to use that magical little va-jay-jay to your advantage??
Kassidy Heart: Well first of all, I love him. I’m not exactly with him because I want status…
Sienna Jade: :usure:??
Kassidy Heart: I love him. Period. I’m not having this conversation with you again.
(Sienna smiles sweetly at Kassidy.)
Sienna Jade: You are so cute, Kassi Wassi. I know you’re in ‘wuv’ and it’s so sweet. I’m sure he just ‘wuvs’ you back, which is why I’m really shocked that you didn’t bring this situation up with him. Ryan can snap his fingers and make this match at Pain for Pride go away. Surely you haven’t come around to the thought of it, have you?
(Kassidy can not help but roll her eyes.)
Kassidy Heart: Yes, Sienna. I truly love being a pawn in Chris Elite’s game. I love it about as much as being a pawn in Impact’s game back at Grand Rampage, and you just know how much I LOVED that.
Sienna Jade: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Fair enough. Look, I told him that was a bad idea, but you know my baby. Ultimately he is going to do what he wants to do, and that’s that.
Kassidy Heart: That’s fine. All bets are off come Gateway to Glory.
Sienna Jade: And I agree, because I want that nasty little section-8 cuntrag expunged from this company for good, and even though it’s going to put a ‘L’ on your little record, I can’t help that. Serena Bennett has to die, and unfortunately this time around you’re going to end up as collateral damage.
Kassidy Heart: :mjgrin: We’ll see how the match goes, even though I’m not walking out of Wyoming with anything less than another win under my belt.
Sienna Jade: Ugh. Wyoming. Is that really the best EAW could do on such short notice??
Kassidy Heart: :lupe: And that’s part of the reason why I haven’t spoken to Ryan yet. He is pissed. He plans to strip Chris of the Gawd Contract tomorrow night. Trust me, once he gets that thing away from Chris, and there is no threat of the match coming back, I’ll get him to work something else out for us at Pain for Pride. You deserve that third straight main event, and I would love to see you win the Universal Women’s Championship. That belt would look perfect on you.
Sienna Jade: All gold looks perfect on me, but when you give me the compliment, it gives me butterflies.
Kassidy Heart:
Sienna Jade: It will be a relief to get the match changed. The thought of seeing you upset at Pain for Pride is too much for me to bear. I would never be able to celebrate with the National Elite Championship knowing it came at your expense.
Kassidy Heart: Well don’t worry your pretty little head about that, my flawless queen. I’ll make sure you don’t get to celebrate with that championship at all
(Sienna and Kassidy flash one another identical, brilliant smiles, and then they both speak at the same time.)
Sienna Jade and Kassidy Heart: We need to get the match changed.
(The two girls giggle and grab hands, linking their pinkies together. They start to walk, but as they turn the corner, Chris Elite steps directly in front of them. Kassidy and Sienna come to a stop, and immediately both girls glare up at the Gawd Contract holder.)
Chris Elite: Two little jaded bitches. You hate to see it.
Sienna Jade: You know, you’re real lucky I don’t jam my fist up your ass right now.
Chris Elite: Just shut the fuck up. I’m not in the mood to hear two menstruating bitches bitch and whine about being put in an unfair predicament. Suck my dick. You got a championship match at Pain for Pride that you don’t deserve, and you…
(Chris looks at Kassidy and grins.)
Chris Elite: You basically got saved from getting fucking mauled for a second straight free-per-view. Mauler my ass.
(Kassidy takes a deep breath, curbing the urge to slap the shit out of Chris Elite and take a chunk out of his face.)
Kassidy Heart: I’m not about to go there with you right now. Ryan is going to take your Gawd Contract away from you, and then I’m going to get him to change the match. Then what? You lose, regardless. You could have had a rematch for the National Elite Championship, and shown everyone that your performance the other weekend wasn’t a fluke, that you haven’t lost a step, and that you really are better than me. But instead, you pissed it down the toilet by being petty and trying to pit me against my bestie, only for it to all blow up in your face and you actually end up getting left with nothing.
Chris Elite: The match is happening whether your simp takes my Gawd Contract or not. I have a cancellation order for Pain for Pride already in place should anyone even remotely attempt to fuck with anything I’ve already scheduled, and don’t think I won’t pull the trigger if your pouty little lips even think of uttering the phrase, ‘Daddy, pwease change my Pain for Pride match so I don’t have to fight my best fwend!’ I’ll cancel that shit right now. Shittin’ me. Stop trying me, bitch. I’m telling you it’s not a road you want to go down.
Kassidy Heart: And you should know by now I’m not fucking scared of anything.
Chris Elite: :usure:??? You really want to be around Ryan Adams when Pain for Pride gets cancelled and it’s all because you refused to be good, fall in line, and handle your business like a big girl?
Kassidy Heart: There is no fucking way you even have the power to cancel Pain for Pride. Cancelling the Asia tour is one thing, but Pain for Pride? Never going to happen. Ryan’s legal team will put a stop to anything that even remotely threatens Pain for Pride, and that includes anything your stupid piece of paper could possibly do. You know that Ryan has more money than even he brags about and more clout that any of us can imagine. This could get tied up in courts for months, and for what? Your ego?
Chris Elite: :mjgrin: That’s just gunna cause more shit to get held up, and your daddy is gunna continue to lose even more money, beloved. This is a fight you’re not gunna win.
Sienna Jade: You know what? How about you just give one of us a fighting chance then? Let’s settle the business in the ring, one on one, or even in a tag team match. I don’t give a fuck. Put the Pain for Pride match on the line. If you’re so fucking confident that you truly had the match won at Grand Rampage then you should have no problem accepting the challenge.
(Chris raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by this counter offer. He thinks it over for a moment.)
Kassidy Heart: Well?
Chris Elite: Well, it’s a good thing I have a Gawd Contract and can pretty much do whatever I want. And since I’m more than confident ole boy will never be able to take the Gawd Contract from me, let’s have a match then! I’m fine with being the second coming of Ike Turner once again and beating the shit out of not one, but two snotty little cunts who should have been disciplined when they were children. After the well deserved mauling *Chris winks at Kassidy* is handed out once again, I’m going to enjoy watching you two rip each other to pieces at Pain for Pride.
(Kassidy and Sienna roll their eyes at one another.)
Sienna Jade: Then it’s settled. You can even pick the time and place for the match. Good luck finding a partner.
Kassidy Heart: You better hope that Ryan really isn’t able to take that contract from you because that’s the only way you’re gunna be able to get a partner. There’s no way in hell anyone will ever team with you.
(Kassidy and Sienna smile sweetly at Chris and both bump him as they pass him. They link their pinkies together once again and make their way down the hallway. Chris stares at them, the expression on his face one of pure aggravation.)
Chris Elite: Fuck! I’m really about to make sure a motherfucka don’t have no choice but to team with me.
(Dynasty takes a final shot of the former world champion before fading back to the ring.)
( RETURN TO THE PERFORMANCE CENTER: We see a potted plant, the wooden desk, the two chairs, and a flat screen hanging inside the ring. )
Jake Mercer: The moment I’ve been waiting for from the beginning of my days as a pro-wrestling broadcast journalist has arrived upon us! What time is it you guys?!
(Interrupting)
HOT TAKES TIME!!!!
( Waterproof Blonde – “Come On” plays over the sound system and out comes Ronan Malosi, wearing a cheap two-dollar suit and a baseball cap that reads “HOT TAKE HELLFIRE”. He pulls the pair of douchey shades from his eyes and ‘scans’ the audience full of ‘people’ not even there, and allows the imaginary warm embrace of a captive audience to serenade him in his own mind. Ronan continues to the ring. )
Jake Mercer: The ratings juggernaut himself has arrived!!! Look at this handsome devil, he would make a great catch for you Flannery! He’s confident, well spoken, and I would argue one of the most influential tastemakers of our time! Why haven’t you asked him out already?!
Flannery McCoy: Because I have a thing called standards, thank you.
Jake Mercer: Easy now that’s Cape Town’s greatest export you’re talking about!
Stew-O: More like Cap Town’s greatest expert.
Jake Mercer: What is wrong with you?! We need to give Ronan Malosi his flowers while he can still smell em, this is a new environment for him after all, he’s still adjusting! Ronan is used to tens of thousands of people in sold out arenas eating out of the palm of his hands, and now that we have no audience it’s our obligation to show him the support that he deserves! (stands up) RO-NAN! RO-NAN! RO-NAN! RO-NAN! RO-NAN! RO-NAN!
Flannery McCoy: Jake sit down.
( Jake continues chanting for Ronan long after his theme music fades away. He points off-camera, to Jake, soaking in the admiration of his loyal fanbase. )
Ronan Malosi: Thank you thank you! Welcome to another edition of HOT TAKES: WITH RONAN MALOSI! And I am your host, RONAN MALOSI!
( Jaker Mercer gives an overly enthusiastic round of applause that can be heard from the ring. Ronan soaks in the fanfare. )
Ronan Malosi: Thank you. I appreciate the love. I am floored, as always, by the admiration of you good people. The thousands in attendance, and the millions watching at home. Speaking of admiration, I’ve been doing a little bit of ‘mirin myself, actually. There’s this amazing new documentary out now titled “The Last Dance” featuring Michael Jordan and The Chicago Bulls.
Jake Mercer: HEY cultural reference that the general public can understand!
Ronan Malosi: Any of you seen it? Great stuff. I for one find it to be a damn good watch. After all, it is modeled after the story of my career you know.
Jake Mercer: I KNEW IT!
Flannery McCoy: Oh brother.
Ronan Malosi: Go ahead ask Jason Hehir, he directed the masterpiece thriller with yours truly in mind. I’ll give him all of the props in the world, they sure know how to prop up a team of washed up dinosaurs! It’s very hard to compare the incomparable Ronan Malosi to a team that played against milk men and paper delivery boys, but they sure managed to do the trick. That brings me to my first official HOT TAKE:
( Screen Bar: :fire: )
Ronan Malosi: My victory tonight against Korey Gaines will be the EAW equivalent of Jordan’s Game 6 winning shot against the Utah Jazz!
Stew-O: :snoop:
Ronan Malosi: Except what was an OBVIOUS ILLEGAL PUSH-OFF from some baldheaded sociopathic bozo will be the beginning of the push of a lifetime for the Capetown Crippler! You think the 1998 NBA Finals were a ratings juggernaut? Wait until you see the numbers Friday Night Dynasty does when I make Korey Gaines my personal bitch! And speaking of making Korey Gaines their personal bitch, I know somebody else who can tell you all exactly how it feels like. She is my special guest of the evening. Please put your hands together for the one and only – KASEY KAOS!!!!
( Marilyn Manson – ‘Cry Little Sister’ comes on the sound system and Kasey Kaos walks to the ring with a cheshire cat-like grin on her face. Ronan Malosi applauds her on her way to the ring, and does so much as hold down the middle rope for her to enter the ring. She drops from the apron and rolls underneath the bottom rope out of defiance, and she picks up her designated microphone from her tall chair. )
Ronan Malosi: Why don’t we have a seat shall we?
( Kasey and Ronan take their respective seats. )
Ronan Malosi: Again everybody please welcome KASEY KAOS!!!!
Jake Mercer: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Ronan Malosi: Kasey, other Kasey, a pleasure to have you both.
Kasey Kaos: The pleasure’s ours. Just kidding actually, the pleasure is all yours.
Ronan Malosi: So Kase’ , what’s the story behind this whole “we, our, us” thing? Because I’ll be truthfully honest with you, HOT TAKE: The gimmick isn’t over with me quite yet brother.
Kasey Kaos: Not sure what you’re referring to.
Ronan Malosi: Oh come on you know exactly what I’m referring to. The way you refer to yourself! It’s weird. I don’t like it. It reeks of desperation. It seems more like a cry for attention, actually. Speaking of cries for attention, and attention begging, I’m not particularly fond of the way you used my glorious name in vain over the past week during your little promo video, but I’ll leave that alone for now.
Kasey Kaos: Are you talking about when we referred to you as a blithering idiot?
Ronan Malosi: DON’T-
Kasey Kaos: :shrug: A blithering idiot is a blithering idiot. Would you rather we be honest about you or lie in your face and give you false pleasantries?
Ronan Malosi: You know what that’s fair. Everybody has a right to their own wrong opinions. In my very correct and super legitimate opinion, your victory over Korey Gaines was a hell of a showing. Probably the most impressive showing you’ve had in your EAW career thus far.
Kasey Kaos: Much appreciated. We warned the little kitten that he’d better bare his fangs if he wished to stand a chance against us, but he didn’t listen, Ronan. He was hard headed, a lot like you are. And he paid a mighty penance for it. A hefty price indeed.
Ronan Malosi: As nice as the win was and all it’ll still pale in comparison to the absolute ownage he is in for later this evening by my hands. But still, I’ll give you your props, it was a career performance. Better than that pitiful night you had in the Grand Rampage match.
Kasey Kaos: Excuse us?
Ronan Malosi: Gesundheit.
Kasey Kaos: No no no, run that back just a little bit. Pitiful night??? We lasted thirty damned entries into the Grand Rampage match, we nearly ran the gamut for that entire match you insufferable oaf! You didn’t so much as last a quarter of the time we did, you were eliminated by a man who has had record low performances in the Rampage. Who are YOU to sling stones from that glass house of yours, and run your mouth with that glass jaw of yours?!
Ronan Malosi: Glass house?! Glass jaw?! The only “glass” I see is that glass CEILING that I’m about to break over your head baby!
Kasey Kaos: We are not your baby.
Ronan Malosi: Your boy has been dealt crappy hand after crappy hand from the beginning, and I’ve made cordon bleu out of shit sandwiches, lady. I pushed Drake King past his limits with a god damned stomach bug! HOT TAKE: Michael Jordan’s Flu Game had absolutely nothing on Ronan Malosi’s Food Poisoning Game! – Match! – Whatever! And how dare you criticise my Grand Rampage showing? I was the star of the entire show! There wasn’t an empty seat in the house because of me!
Kasey Kaos: There were a lot of empty seats in that house, actually.
Ronan Malosi: You get the point. You know Kasey, despite some of the fundamental disagreements you and I share, I still believe there is greatness inside of you. Potential that has yet to be tapped. And another person who believes this is the Dynasty General Manager himself, Starr “The Man” Stan Lee. After all he was so impressed by your game lately, that he has given you a Universal Women’s Title opportunity against Minerva!
Kasey Kaos: He sure did. While you’ve gotten nothing. Not even an appearance on last week’s Dynasty. Sucks to suck, doesn’t it?
Ronan Malosi: Oh pls. I was too busy for last week’s Dynasty anyhow.
Kasey Kaos: :usure:
Ronan Malosi: I’m positive. I’ll have you know I was auditioning for my upcoming breakout role starring as “Joe Exotic” in the Tiger King cinematic release. Yes yes I put on a performance that will put tears in the eyes and pull strings on the hearts of millions! It’s the method acting commitment that would make Daniel Day Lewis cry. It’ll send Denzel Washington to training day and force him to relearn the art of the silver screen! Hollywood SOSA couldn’t see me on his best day!!!
Flannery McCoy: Somehow I believe him on this one, the resemblance between him and Joe Exotic is uncanny.
Kasos Kaos: You would know a lot about method acting considering you’ve been method acting as someone who is actually relevant for months now.
Stew-O & Flannery McCoy: :mjlol: !!!!
Jake Mercer: THAT’S NOT FUNNY! :dahell:
Ronan Malosi: Oh yeah? Well YOU would know a lot about method acting yourself, since you are “acting” like you’re deserving of a shot against Minerva in the first place! I feel compelled to throw the generic interview softball question and ask you “how do you feel” over this “big opportunity” but I’d rather conduct my own style of interview question with a HOT TAKE: Minerva is going to eat you for breakfast, take your lunch money and take that Universal Women’s Title – and me – out to dinner AFTER she beats you! Admit it Kasey, you’re scared. You’re officially in “jump the shark” territory. You’ve gotten way too big for your britches and you realize you’re officially in too deep now.
( Kasey chuckles. )
Kasey Kaos: We are very excited for the opportunity at competing for the Universal Women’s Championship. Being able to compete for such an accomplishment at this time of year, under these levels of stakes, against that calibre of an opponent is quite validating. We fully intend on cementing our 11 year journey and realizing the ultimate ambition for every competitor who bleeds for this sport. Pain for Pride is an event aptly named for us, built for us, and it is calling for us. We will do everything in our power to make it to Pain for Pride carrying the Universal Women’s Title, regardless of how much of Minerva’s blood must be spilled to do so.
Make no mistake about it, the last emotion we will ever feel in the middle of this ring, is fear. It is easy for a ninny such as you to be afraid because people often fear what they do not understand. Many are taken aback by the mystique of Minerva, but we do not represent the “many”. We have spilled far too much blood, of others and also our own, to experience fear. We have taken some of the biggest challenges that EAW has to offer to date and we have embraced these challenges – win or lose. Minerva may be a formidable opponent, but she does not pose a threat. In our eyes Minerva is nothing more than fair game. And Kasey Kaos lives for the thrill of the hunt.
Ronan Malosi: HOT TAKE: I’m losing interest. Fast. Don’t get me wrong, I do find you amusing, but I don’t actually care whether or not you win the Universal Women’s Title or not. I am just fucking baffled by how Starr gives YOU a title opportunity when the absolute best representation Dynasty could possibly have is Ronan Malosi!!!
Kasey Kaos: HOT TAKE, if you interrupt us one more time, you are going to lose a lot more than “interest.”
Ronan Malosi: Look my point is Minerva isn’t a formidable challenge anyways, she’s holding a fourth rate World Title that none of the women in this company even care about anyways! If you really want to become a big baller draw the way I am how about you bring back Constance Blevins’ dead body and have a three way necrophilia tongue kissing match, that’ll do YUGE numbers brother-
( The lights go out. )
Stew-O: What now?!
Jake Mercer: You know with all the time the lights go out and come back on around this place I’m gonna get a fucking seizure!
**CRASH**!!!!
( The lights return. )
( “Children of the Son” by Pipe Choir begins to play. )
Flannery McCoy: LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE!!
Jake Mercer: OUR LEADER IS DOWN!!!
( Ronan Malosi is on the floor rolling around in pain, with the chair he was sitting on broken into pieces after being smashed into him. Minerva is now standing in the ring with her music blaring and her lighting engulfing the Performance Center. She stands across Kasey Kaos with the Universal Women’s Championship in her hand, and Kasey gets up from her chair to come face to face with the champion. )
Stew-O: MINERVA IS HERE! The Universal Women’s Champion is laying eyes on her challenger, and you can see by the way neither of these women are willing to back down that there’s a palpable chemistry between the both of them!
Flannery McCoy: That’s because they both know what kind of sadistic measures the other will take to secure the victory, they both have that dark place they’ll go to in their minds in order to win, but you can just see the confidence beaming out of the Universal Women’s Champion!
( Minerva holds up her title, and the two refuse to break from their staredown for what feels like an eternity. Kasey Kaos motions a “tick tock” expression with her hands, and takes her leave while keeping as much eye contact with Minerva as she can. )
Stew-O: Kasey Kaos with a last little message for Minerva, warning her that as far as her Universal Title reign is concerned, time could most certainly be up.
(Commercial Break)
(Kassidy Heart stars in a commercial for ZzzQuil)
(The Camera fades to Stephie Love in the ring)
Stephie Love: The following triple-threat contest is scheduled for… ONE FALL!!
( The camera then moves away from the broadcasting booth to the stage as ‘Come On’ by Waterproof Blonde is playing, Ronan Malosi is shown recovering from the attack from Minerva and talking to the referee about his status )
Stephie Love: Introducing first… already in the ring… from Cape Town, South Africa… weighing in at 280 pounds… THE CAPE TOWN CRIPPLER… RONAN MALOSI!!
Jake Mercer: Hot Takes certainly didn’t go his way but hopefully this match will!
( ‘Thunderstruck’ By ACDC plays throughout the arena as Korey Gaines begins to come down to the ring prepared for his match and focused as he makes his way down the ramp and inside the ring. )
Stephie Love: Annnnd his opponent! From Oklahoma City, Oklahoma! Weighing in at 170 Pounds!! He is “The AERIAL WONDER” KOOORREEEEEYYYY GAAAAINNNEEEES!!
Jake Mercer: Look at the intensity in Gaines’ eyes! He has a fire unlike we never seen out of him!
Flannery McCoy: He will need more than just that if he wants to beat Malosi! This should be fun!
( DING! DING! DING! )
Stew-O: AND HERE WE GO!! These two have been foul mouthing each other all week long leading up to this moment I don’t expect this battle to be one with respect in mind between both opponents! Gaines is right up Malosi’s face showing no fear against the man who is six inches taller than him!
Ronan: I will crush you like a King would an unruly peasant!
Gaines: How about you shut the fuck up you braindead bastard.
Ronan: I am a future Hall of Famer! Show me some fucking respect!
Gaines: Sure! Okay!
Stew-O: KOREY IS FLIPPING THE FINGER TO THE CAPE TOWN CRIPPLER!! Ronan throws himself at Korey with a big boot to the face trying to shut the loudmouth up this way but Gaines is quick and dodges the attack! To the side of Ronan he goes for a series of leg kicks that get Malosi down to his knees! Are we going to see the Superkick Party already? Gaines backs up and shoots his foot THAT GETS CAUGHT BY MALOSI! He holds Gaines’ foot with boot hands as he smirks! He goes for a Lariat but Gates catches the arm and forces Malosi down with an armbar takedown!! The Leg trap Lariat failed by the Crippler and now he is under Gaines’ control as the official goes to check on Malosi. Gaines doesn’t give enough time for the referee to finish his job. He actually climbs atop of Ronan throwing in jabs across the face of the man yelling as he does it! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Wait a minute Malosi is actually getting up as he gets nailed over and over with Korey on his back! Malosi looks to be hurting but he keeps using his strength to get to his feet, reaching up he grabs a hold of Gaines and Slams Him Down On The Ground Before Him!! Gaines is quickly getting up and runs past Malosi bouncing off the ropes he leaps for a crossbody But MALOSI CAUGHT HIM!!
Jake Mercer: Gunslinger!
Flannery McCoy: To The Outside Of The Ring!!
Stew-O: The side fallaway slam sends the high flyer down on the mat hard OUTSIDE of the ring as he holds his back in pain.
Ronan – And to think they cheer for you! You’re Pathetic!!
Stew-O: The mouth on that man as he rolls to the outside of the ring prowling over his opponent smacking the back of his head to humiliate Korey a little bit this does not bode well for the Oklahoma native who tries to get to his knees but is greeted by a knee to the back of the neck sending him once more on the ground and against the barricade! He gets kneed several times by Malosi who looks to have some malicious intent aimed towards his finger flipping opponent! He grabs Gaines by the trunks and drags him on the side of the ring before moving to circle his arms around his waist and belly overhead suplex Gaines INTO THE CROWD!!
Jake Mercer: The official finally begins the count!
Official: ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! FOUR!!!!
Stew-O: Malosi quickly jumps over the barricade joining with Gaines who tries to get on the offensive with a series of elbow strikes that surprised Ronan!
Official: FIVE!!!!! SIX!!!!!!
Stew-O: But Ronan throws in a knee to the midsection of Korey before Irish whipping him over the barricade! Gaines jumps over hopping and slides inside the ring.
Official: SEVEN!!!!!!! EIGHT!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Malosi took his time but he is now back inside the ring! He grunts muttering insults under his breath and stomps towards Gaines who is near the ropes, Malosi attempts to go for a clothesline trying to get the smaller Korey out of the ring again but he ducks low holding the top rope lowering it which gets Ronan to tumble down to the outside on the other side of the ring! He quickly gets up however as he landed on his feet and goes to slide back into the ring. Getting to his feet he is greeted with a Superkick that gets him out of the ring again!! Malosi to the outside holding his face he doesn’t see as he gets close to the apron Korey bouncing off the ropes for momentum and clips him in the face with a well-aimed dropkick from between the first and second ropes! Ronan staggers back and leans against the barricade near the timekeeper’s table and is jumped on by Korey who throws in a few elbow strikes to the face of his opponent! Ronan grunts getting angry as the two nears our announce table and grabs a handful of Gaines’ face and shoves him almost over the desk! But wait, Korey is unfazed; he gets on top of the table and leaps on Malosi!! RONAN GOT HIM BY THE THROAT!! He lifts him up and gets him down into a backbreaker!! HE Keeps The Hold! He moves up and Drops Down Into another Back breaker!!
Jake Mercer: He wants to break his back like Bane on Batman!!
Flannery McCoy: Holy McCoy Batman! But this is serious trouble for Gaines though!
A CHOKESLAM ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE AFTER THE BACK BREAKERS!! Malosi callously looks down on the downed Korey Gaines disdain on his face as he goes and rolls into the ring while the official is counting. Is this going to be how the Capetown Crippler wins tonight?
Malosi – He can’t handle me! No one can! You show BOW before me, runt! I’m the next KING of Elite Answers Wrestling!
Stew-O: The official begins the count!
Official: ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! FOUR!!!! FIVE!!!!!
Jake Mercer: Look at Gaines!!
Flannery McCoy: He is crawling to the ring!!
Malosi: Stay Down Ant! You are but a
Gaines: F*** off Ronan.
Malosi: Why you little…
Stew-O: Malosi grabs Korey by the hair pulling him into the ring! He smacks him a few times and calls for his finisher The Souvenir!! BUT WAIT GAINES BLOCKS THE ELBOW WITH ONE OF HIS OWN! WRAP AROUND MALOSI FOLLOWED BY A HARD DDT!! RONAN IS DOWN!! RONAN IS DOWN!! This is a big opportunity for Gaines who quickly moves to the nearest turnbuckle and calls for his Ultra Finisher! He is going for Okie Nap Time!! THE CORKSCREW MOONSAULT CONNECTS! He goes to the ropes and then lands on Ronan’s chest with a leg drop!
Jake Mercer: COVER!!
Referee: ONE! TWO!! THREE!!!
Flannery McCoy: This one is OVER!!
( DING! DING! DING! )
( ‘Thunderstruck’ By ACDC plays throughout the arena as Korey Gaines gets his arm raised by the official. )
Stephie Love: Here is your winner… KOREEEEYYY GAAIIIIIIIIIIINES!!!!
Stew-O: Much needed victory for the disgruntled high flyer! His aggressivity is paying off!
Jake Mercer: Ronan won’t be too happy about that!
Flannery McCoy: He’ll get over it, if he is a King as he claims he will brush it off quickly. We’ll see!
(Dynasty cuts to the backstage catering area. The sister of the World Heavyweight Champion Drake King, Jessica Miller, is seen standing just off to the side. She appears to be texting someone on her phone, but the expression on her face isn’t easily read. She’s clearly engrossed in whatever back and forth she’s engaging in because she’s completely unaware that EAW Hall of Famer, Lethal Consequences, has walked up behind her. LC stands there for a moment, admiring Jessica, and a sleazy smirk comes across his face.)
Lethal Consequences: Not bad if I hit it from behind.
(Jessica’s dark eyes widen and a disgusted look crosses her face. She slowly turns around and sees LC. He flashes her a smile and reaches into his pocket, withdrawing what appears to be a key card.)
Jessica Miller: Ummmm, can I help you??
(Jessica shoves her phone into the back pocket of her jeans and folds her arms across her chest. LC gives her a wink and motions his head towards the hotel key.)
Lethal Consequences: I just wanted to drop this key off for you.
(LC smoothly reaches out and slips the key into Jessica’s hand. She looks down at it and her expression sours even more.)
Jessica Miller: Knights Inn Elizabeth?
Lethal Consequences: The room number is on the back of the key. Fine, fine establishment if you don’t pay any attention to the reviews on Tripadvisor. All we need for what we’re gunna do is a bed, unless you like to try other areas. I can only assume the shower will be clean, and if you truly believe everything you read in them reviews, then gangbangers might be around if you want to be passed around.
Jessica Miller:
Lethal Consequences: I said I was gunna bag you after Grand Rampage, and I’m coming to collect on that. Damn Viz. I could be fucking you while wearing the World Heavyweight Championship, but ehhh. Details. Details really aren’t that important.
(Jessica lets the key drop to the ground and she visibly shudders.)
Jessica Miller: You are disgusting and a freaking creep, and old enough to be my father.
Lethal Consequences: Isn’t what what women in EAW go for these days? :dave:
Jessica Miller: I would literally never ever let you touch me even with someone else’s dick. I don’t know how you got it in your head that I would ever sleep with you, but you really need to get a life and leave me alone.
Lethal Consequences: Playing hard to get. Sure. Games aren’t really my cup of tea, but for you, Drake’s sister, I’ll make an exception.
Jessica Miller: You need to get the heck away from me.
???: Is there a problem?
(Before LC can reply, The Visual Prophet saunters into the picture. He looks down his nose at LC and lets out a sassy sigh, before turning his attention to Jessica.)
The Visual Prophet: Are you okay, sweetie? Did he touch you? Did he ask you what school you go too and for other personal information?
(Jessica gives LC a bewildered look.)
Jessica Miller: No…
Lethal Consequences: :dave:
Jessica Miller: But for whatever bizarre reason, he seems to think I’m going to head to some weird motel with him in Elizabeth, New Jersey, and sleep with him.
Lethal Consequences: Look, Drake’s sister, the Knight’s Inn Elizabeth is most certainly a high class establishment for someone such as yourself. $72 dollars a night?? Do you think I would spend that kind of money on just anyone??
The Visual Prophet: No World Heavyweight Championship and you’re certainly not going to smash Drake’s sister. Take a hike, LC, and leave Jessica be. You said all that shit to get under Drakey’s skin last week, and clearly it had little to no effect on him. He still walked out of Grand Rampage as the champion. Continuing to play mind games is completely unnecessary.
(Jessica raises an eyebrow at Viz, but she doesn’t say anything. LC takes note of this, and takes a step back.)
Lethal Consequences: Well there’s a reason I didn’t walk out of Grand Rampage as the champion, isn’t there? I wonder what that reason was, or who the reason was? This is the second time in three weeks that you’ve cock blocked me, and that’s not really something I appreciate. But that’s okay, Viz. Because we both know what happened the last time the two of us truly crossed paths in this company.
(The Visual Prophet can’t help but roll his eyes as he directs all his attention towards Lethal Consequences.)
The Visual Prophet: I don’t think you want to go down that road again.
Lethal Consequences: Keep trying me, Viz. Vizzy. King of Elitey. I never forget, and I’ve never been the one to forget about being screwed out of a world championship.
(LC gives Jessica another lecherous look, and claps Viz on the shoulder.)
Lethal Consequences: Just some food for thought, my friend.
(LC pushes past Viz, and leaves the area. Jessica glares at him the entire way, clearly feeling violated. She’s not happy at all about what just happened and once LC is no longer in her line of sight, she pulls her phone out and goes back to texting. Viz watches her and once she finishes typing out her message, she goes to walk off. Viz quickly catches her by the arm.)
Jessica Miller: Hey!
(She pulls her arm free and narrows her eyes at Viz.)
The Visual Prophet: Hey, yourself. Don’t I at least get a thank you?
Jessica Miller: A thank you? I’m not exactly a damsel in distress.
The Visual Prophet: Well you weren’t exactly getting LC to back off either.
(Jessica gives Viz a defiant look and places her hands on her hips.)
Jessica Miller: I had the situation handled. There was really no need for you to butt in. The last thing I would ever do is give you thanks for anything. You’ve made my brother miserable, and it’s really annoying having to deal with him right now. I tried to tell him that you were a snake, and he didn’t listen to me because for whatever reason, Drake always thinks he’s right. But whatever. I know you’ll never have his best interests at heart, which is why I’m watching you.
(A slow smile spreads across Viz’s face and he lets out a velvety little laugh.)
The Visual Prophet: I can see why LC is so enamoured with you.
(Jessica blinks.)
Jessica Miller: Excuse me?
The Visual Prophet: Other than the obvious, you seem to be quite the complex creature. A fiery personality, with overly protective instincts, but when you look into those soulful brown eyes, there’s an innocent little angel just begging to have someone give her the go ahead to unleash that wild side. I see right into your soul, Jessica Miller.
(Viz’s gaze is intense, and Jessica’s face flushes just a bit. She takes a step back to put some distance between the two of them, and for a brief moment, uncertainty flickers in her eyes. She quickly regains her composure and squares her shoulders.)
Jessica Miller: You don’t know the first thing about me, Viz.
(Viz gives her a thoughtful look, his smile softening just a bit.)
The Visual Prophet: I know a lot more than you think. Viz sees all, baby.
(The King of Elite gives her a wink and spins on his heels, sauntering down the hallway. Jessica seems a bit unsettled now, but it’s her phone buzzing that snaps her out of the trance Viz left her in. After a moment, she goes back to her phone and Dynasty fades back to the ringside area.)
(‘Land of the Innocent’ by Feathers hits as Sarah Price makes her way up the ramp, she does her usual routine before making her way past the announcers table and grabbing a chair nearby to sit ringside to witness the match about to take place)
Stew-O: The #1 contender to the Specialists Championship is here, so we know what match must be up next! Sarah has had quite the interesting last few months from witnessing her best friend be put on the shelf during the biggest match of their careers to date to now having to fend for herself in yet another title opportunity that could be huge for her!
Jake Mercer: Oh I thought Drake’s match was next and she was just here to support.
(Camera then pans to Stephie Love standing inside the ring awaiting the next match as we turn and see Melissa O’ Malley standing in the ring already preparing herself)
Stephie Love: The following contest is set for ONE FALL!!! Introducing, already standing in the ring, From the Las Vegas, Strip! Weighing in at 122 Pounds!! MEELISSSAAAAAAA OOOO MAAAALLEEEYYYYYYY…!!
(“Spotlight Saviour” By Iggy Azaela plays throughout the performance center as the Specialist Champion confidently makes her way down the short ramp and into the ring)
Stephie Love: Introducing her opponent, From Kent, United Kingdom! Weighing in at 130 Pounds.!!! The current EAW SPECIALIST CHAMPION..!!!! “The Leading Lady” DAAARRRCYYY MAYYYYYY MORRRGANNN..!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: And here we go, both women strongly locking up for a collar and elbow tie-up! Melissa grappling with the specialist champion as Sarah Price looks on from outside the ring! Melissa quickly pushes Darcy off to break the collar and elbow tie-up, Darcy walks over towards Melissa but MELISSA DELIVERS A FOREARM SMASH TO THE FACE OF DARCY!! Backing the Champion up, BUT THE CHAMPION QUICKLY COMES FORWARD WITH THE RUNNING BICYCLE KNEE!!! DON’T DISS DARCY CONNECTING!!! AND SHE HOOKS THE LEG!!
Referee: ONNEEEEEEE…TWOOOOOOOOOOO….THRRREEEEEEEEEEEE…!!
(“Spotlight Saviour” By Iggy Azaela picks up quickly as Darcy holds her jaw and has her hand raised high in the air)
Stephie Love: Here is your winner…. DAAARCCYYYYY MAAAYYYY MORRRRGANNNN..!!!
(Darcy ask for a microphone as she is handed her specialist championship and begins dusting her hands obviously poking fun of the quick work she made of her opponent as Sarah Price stands up out of her chair and begins looking from outside the ring at the Specialist Champion)
Darcy May Morgan: Sarah, I’m glad you were here to watch what is coming to you in the very near future. Because it’s obvious that this woman shouldn’t have been in the ring with the Leading Lady, it’s obvious she was just a moment in MY spotlight. And that brings me to you, I’ve faced a lot of people with this championship on the line and I’ve beaten all of them. You’ll be no different because you have nothing different and bring nothing different to the table compared to the women who have fallen at my feet, that doesn’t make you a challenge.
(Darcy smirks)
Darcy May Morgan: That makes you the easiest championship defence of my life. The difference between those women and you is the fact that you have been hand-delivered on a silver platter every monumental win you ever had in your career. And unfortunately, when you step inside the ring with me when my Specialist Championship is on the line, nobody is going to be able to hand you anything because we both know you don’t have it in you to earn it.
(After pondering on what Darcy said, Sarah grabs a mic and retorts)
Sarah Price: You have me all wrong Darcy, you think I wanted anything to be “handed” to me? You think that I have asked for weeks on end for people to continue to selfishly make my match about themselves only for me to get tainted wins. Nothing about my character is tainted and that is why I’m even MORE determined to show you what I’m about come Gateway to Glory. I have a lot to prove and I plan on showing that I can hang with the best of the best with no distractions, no run-ins, just me and you!
Darcy May Morgan: Awww your inspirational speech is so adorable. Listen kiddo, come Gateway to Glory, I’ll try to make quick work of you but if you refuse to stay down and act stubborn like your partner, well then you’ll just be sitting right on the shelf with the bitch. I am merely WEEKS away from wiping Andrea out of the history books and snatching the title of “longest reigning Specialists Champion” of all time the same way I snatched that belt from her. If you think you and your delusional fairytale bullshit is going to get in my way you have another thing coming. This ironic rise of yours ends in two weeks, savor the moment while you can.
(“Spotlight Saviour” By Iggy Azaela picks up quickly as Darcy holds up the Specialist Championship and begins leaving with her back turned to Sarah Price who has heard everything the champion has to say)
Stew-O: Choice words by the Specialist Champion never lacking any confidence! Sarah though seems to be taking heed to those words.
Flannery McCoy: This is just how the champion operates, she gets you mentally before you dissect you physically and Sarah is falling right into the trap!
Jake Mercer: My beautiful Melissa, Darcy always so fucking aggressive :noah:
(Camera fades elsewhere)
(The scene begins in the ring as everything is quiet until the Butch Vig mix of ‘Smells like Teen Spirit’ by Nirvana begins to play. Out walks Cage as he looks in a foul mood wearing a leather jacket, a tank top, and a pair of denim jeans with black boots. Cage rubs his fist against his nose and walks down the ramp.)
Stew-O: Big win last week, Cage defeated The Visual Prophet in our main event only to be blindsided and attacked afterwards by Chris Elite. Both men have been waging war with each other since Chris Elite revealed he was the one that screwed Cage at King of Elite months ago in a match with Impact. Chris used his GAWD contract to leave Showdown and come to Dynasty to take over and ruin Cage’s life but it seems things haven’t gone perfectly to his plan.
Flannery McCoy: Granted, Cage was forced to enter the Grand Rampage match first by Chris, Cage came very close to actually winning the entire thing until Rex McAllister pulled out the W. Now, with no clear path to Pain for Pride for either men, it looks like they have more time to focus on their mutual hatred.
Jake Mercer: Which could mean an incredible match or another memorial for a fallen star. Maybe Viz can sing at Cage or Chris’s funeral like he did earlier tonight?
Flannery McCoy: As long as he doesn’t have Dennis Rodman rapping again…maybe!
(Cage enters the ring and grabs a microphone as his music fades out.)
Cage: You know, last week should have been a celebration for me. You know, with me finally getting the better of those two butt buddy bitches Drake King and The Visual Prophet. I’ve been screwed over and screwed by those two screwjob sissies but look how god works in the end. Better yet, look at how I worked it all out in the end. Despite the Drake King distraction and a well placed effort from EAW’s residential Pootie Tang impersonator, I came out on top. Life looked bright for my bleak and angry life but then reality came right back to remind me never to get too comfortable around here. Life came, better yet, a bitch named Chris Elite came and punched me in the head and tried to make me humble myself as the show was going off. Thing is, I’m too tough for some cheap shots. I’m too tough for some blindeside effort from a frail little hoe like Chris Elite. I know you hate me Chris, it’s beyond description. You literally used me as a bridge to get off of Showdown and away from your failures these past few years. You are a star to some but you haven’t been a champion in anyone’s eyes in a long time. Including my eyes. You tried to use my name and my status as a stepping stone to gold yet it didn’t work. Despite all the effort you put in, how hard you fought, and how good you looked…you choked away another title match. This time, to that cunt Kassidy Heart. Good job, great effort. But wait! It was because someone fucked with the lights in the building and Kass was able to use that situation to benefit herself and retain her belt. Same way someone fucked with the lights during my match with Impact at King of Elite. Except, we learned it was you who messed with the lights then and you and everyone assumed I was the one that fucked with the lights this time. Turns out, it wasn’t me like the Shaggy song says. It was Impact that did it and you focused some attention to getting back at him, huh? BUT WAIT! Instead of taking that as a cue to finally get off my dick…you decided that you STILL wanted smoke with me and tried to hurt me last week. Yet, it didn’t work. Again. You have failed every time when it comes to trying to screw me over since coming over from Showdown but you just won’t quit, huh?
(Cage shakes his head.)
Cage: You just won’t quit. You give me a terrible spot in the Grand Rampage match and I fucking went the distance. I was one man away from headlining Pain for Pride weekend and I came up short. But, not because of where you placed me. I could give a fuck about what spot I had. I lost because Rex got lucky but I survived the longest despite you trying to ruin my chances and that proves you failed to stop me, Chris. So what’s next? What’s BVU and Chris Elite going to concoct to destroy Diamond Cage next? I really want to know because I have nothing but time and opportunity to kill from now until Pain for Pride and I’d rather spend that time killing your pathetic-
(‘Invincible’ by Pop Smoke begins to blast out the speakers. Out steps Chris Elite, BVU attire fully on as he rocks a Varsity jacket with his team’s logo all over it.)
Stew-O: Looks like GAWD GIVEN GREATNESS has had enough of Cage’s banter.
Flannery McCoy: Chris Elite also won his match last week with Andre Walker, he and Cage both seem to be at an impasse and have nothing but their hatred for each other as focuses right now.
Chris Elite: Yo, Dick Chewer! I can smell the smell of dicks on your breath way from up here. Fuck you and fuck all that wordy bullshit you just said. Let’s get to the reason of why you are so angry and why I am so angry. Reason 1; You are an entitled cac who has been treated like a star even though you don’t deserve that shit no more. I may not have been a champion in a while…I at least perform well compared to you. You finally beat Viz last week, congratulations. I’ve beaten him TWICE already. Reason 2 why your dick eating ass still angry; because despite what you said, my plan DID work. You didn’t win Grand Rampage and I didn’t have to fuck with the lights this time to make sure you blew it. Reason #3…you ugly. That’s something you can’t change and I know for a fact your mother cried tear drops of shame when your big coconut milk gallon shaped head came out of here. Reason number –
Cage: You done?
Chris Elite: No I am not done. You stink and you pussy. Um, what else?
Cage: Nah, you clearly done. I don’t mean talking shit. You are going to be talking shit for the rest of your living days but I promise you those days are numbered.
Chris Elite: Who are you threatening, bitch? I know you not talking to me.
Cage: I am 100% talking to you. You got all this power and you can have me fired on the spot. Yet you won’t. You could have did it as soon as you came out, as soon as last week before Impact revealed he was the one fucking with the lights at Grand Rampage, or even before you came to Dynasty. But nope. You are obsessed with trying to ruin my career instead of getting rid of me. Right?
Chris Elite: Big Fax! Fax Kellerman type shit you dick eating dyke!
Cage: That’s cool. But, I can’t lie. This obsession you have with me is borderline gayer than that Ken Ken guy. So gay that I feel like you should be wearing a rainbow colored ski mask or something. How are you from the Bozo Victim Unit yet you the biggest Bozo alive? How are you going to keep trying to ruin my life without ever really just having a match with me and doing it yourself?
Chris Elite: You don’t want a match with me.
Cage: Nah, I do. I want it more than I wanted to win Grand Rampage. I think YOU are the one that doesn’t want a match with me.
Chris Elite: What?!
Cage: You jumped me last week, have tried to ruin my career for months, and say up and down that you hate me. Yet…you won’t just make a match for us to settle this shit. Sounds like Chris Elite is either softer than cotton or scared as Courage the Cowardly dog to get in this ring with me.
Chris Elite: Listen, I have successfully ruined your already bleak career. You are lower on the totem pole in EAW because I decided to derail your run. You are as close to the bottom as anyone. You got one lucky win against Viz but other than that you have been trash, Cage. But…since you think I’m scared…how about I finally take the trash out myself?
Cage: Say less, bitch.
Chris Elite: I’ll say more, thank you very much. Gateway to Glory. You want to fight? We are going to fight alright. I’ll beat your ass and end your career live on FPV and then show everyone that me whipping Kassidy Heart’s ass the way I did wasn’t a fluke. Other people fell and got overwhelmed but not me. I gave her the fight of her career and was robbed of my chance at a triple crown. But, at Gateway to Glory…I’ll rob you of your damn life DC!
Cage: Rob my balls you idiot. You can’t be serious, surely you can’t be. But, you think you are finally ready to stop playing meaningless mind games and get right down to business. That’s fine with me. Gateway to Glory, I’ll remind you who is really invincible between you and I. I overcame everything you put me through and now it’s my turn to put you through even more.
*MIC DROP*
(‘Smells like Teen Spirit’ plays once more as Cage stands in the middle of the ring staring at a pissed off Chris Elite on stage. Both men lock eyes as the heated rivalry comes to ahead at Gateway to Glory.)
Stew-O: Another match added to one of the biggest FPV shows in recent memory! Gateway to Glory is shaping up to possibly be the best iteration we’ve ever seen as Chris Elite and Cage agree to a match on that night!
Jake Mercer: Sadly, we won’t be on our famous Asian tour due to the Corona Virus pandemic but I’m sure the Impact Zone will be rocking loudly for these two hellacious elitists!
Flannery McCoy: One man obsessed with reminding everyone how great he is in Chris Elite and the other looking to continue reminding everyone just how tough he is, Chris and DC are going to be my sneaky pick for match of the night!
(The scene fades to commercial with Cage and Elite still mouthing off obscenity after obscenity to one another.)
(The camera cuts to Stephie Love in the middle of the ring)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for… ONE FALL!!!
(‘I Gave You Power’ by Nas plays up as strobe lights play around the arena so it’s clear who it is. Impact makes his way out to the stage as he stands at the center of it for a moment. Obviously he has a face of frustration over the situation he’s been put through this week as he shakes his head and begins to make his way down the ramp and to the ring)
Stephie Love: Introducing first… from Seattle, Washington… weighing in at 240 pounds… HE IS… IMPACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: In my opinion I could say it was a very confusing episode of a Dynasty last week for Impact. Not only did he get screwed out of his tag match, not only did he find himself an opponent the next day in Xander Payne, BUT, if he doesn’t participate in this match, he’s going to be fired!
Flannery McCoy: Knowing Impact this is the least of concerns on his mind about getting fired but the backtrack on his face shows. But is that going to stop him from wrestling tonight? No, because what would that show of the 9 time World Champion? I think despite the roadblock placed in front of him Impact is going to make sure no matter what that he wins.
Jake Mercer: YEAH SO WHAT IF THEY HAVE SEXUAL ATTRACTIONS TO EACH OTHER! YOU GO GET THEM WIFE BEATER IMPACT! WOOOOO!!!!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!
(Impact makes his way to the bottom of the ramp and up the steel steps and onto the apron. He looks around for a moment before entering the ring and heading to the center of the ring spreading his arms out keeping his eyes shut before opening them and heading to his corner with an emotionless look on his face as ‘I Gave You Power’ fades out. ‘Unfuckwithable’ by Deez Nuts then plays up as Sienna Jade makes her way out to the stage. She gives a pose, obviously she’s not very happy with this, possibly much more than her significant other. She manages to give a smirk before making her way down the ramp, she’s slightly shaking her head but otherwise has a normal expression on her face)
Stephie Love: And his opponent… from Calgary Alberta, Canada… weighing in at 135 pounds… UNFUCKWITHABLE… SIENNA JADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: As for Sienna Jade she hasn’t been handling not just this match but this whole situation involving Chris Elite and his GAWD Contract so well. This is not the situation she cared to put herself in and it’s left her clearly disgruntled especially with having to face her best friend, Kassidy Heart come Gateway To Glory, it’s clear no one is happy with what Chris Elite has had in store for the Dynasty roster hell not just them the entire landscape of EAW, and it’s just taking its course now especially since Impact revealed himself to be the one to cost Chris the National Elite Championship.
Flannery McCoy: But will that derail that Pain For Pride journey that Sienna has been traveling forth on? Let’s admit probably not, sure it was a rocky start but it’s nothing she isn’t able to bounce up and onto her feet from, who knows things might just get better, but for that she needs to get past the challenges put in place by the absolute tyrannical Chris Elite, and I’m sure despite the rational feelings, she won’t be afraid to do so.
Jake Mercer: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WIFE BEATER-
Flannery McCoy: Shut up.
Jake Mercer: :damn: Ok just expressing my bias tho.
(Sienna makes her way down the ramp as she slides right into the ring. She climbs up the turnbuckle to the top rope raising her arms in the air before jumping down to the mat and circling around and posing once more before heading to her corner as ‘Unfuckwithable’ fades out and the Ref signals for the bell)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: Here we go as this match is officially underway! Both Impact and Sienna are circling around the ring, taking their time as they do so. They quickly lock up into a collar-and-elbow tie-up! There is no need for Impact to jockey for position as he quickly begins to push Sienna to the ropes, but Sienna manages to slip under Impact and go behind him and lock in a waist lock! Impact quickly bringing his arms behind him and wrapping it around Sienna forcing Sienna to let go as Impact locks in a headlock on her!
Flannery McCoy: Impact wrenching at her head as Sienna drops down to a knee in the middle of the ring. Sienna trying to reach her arms out as she begins to crank at the neck of Impact! Impact finally bringing her down with a snapmare as Sienna falls to a sitting position and Impact runs to the ropes, IMPACT STOMPING ON SIENNA-
Jake Mercer: BUT SIENNA ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Impact quickly scambling forward and wrapping that vice grip on Sienna once more as he pulls her right back into a headlock! BUT SIENNA LIFTING IMPACT UP WITH SHEER STRENGTH AND SLAMMING HIM DOWN TO THE GROUND WITH A BACK SUPLEX! Impact bounces off the canvas as he pulls himself up to his feet quickly, SIENNA WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK-
Deadprez: BUT IMPACT MANAGES TO GRAB THE LEG JUST IN TIME AS HE PUSHES IT AWAY FROM HIM! Sienna falling flat to the ground but she quickly gets up to a knee, BUT IMPACT WITH A STEP-UP ENZIGURI STOPPING SIENNA RIGHT IN HER TRACKS AS SHE FALLS RIGHT BACK DOWN TO THE GROUND!
Flannery McCoy: Sienna crawling away as she begins to move towards the ropes and climb up it but Impact quickly grabs her by the head and brings her over to the center of the ring, IMPACT WITH A DROPKICK! Sienna stumbles back as she’s still upright and grabs the ropes, IMPACT CLOTHESLINING SIENNA OVER THE TOP ROPE! Impact quickly grabbing her by the hair and pulling her up, BUT SIENNA RAMMING HER SHOULDER RIGHT INTO THE GUT OF IMPACT! Impact stumbling backwards as Sienna quickly runs and begins to climb the turnbuckle, SHE LEAPS-
Jake Mercer: BUT IMPACT MANAGES TO PUNCH HER RIGHT IN THE FACE BEFORE SHE DESCENDS LEAVING HER STUNNED! Impact quickly climbing up the turnbuckle joining Sienna as both of them are quickly trading lefts and rights hoping neither one of them is the one taking the fall! BUT IMPACT LEAPS UP AND HITS SIENNA RIGHT IN THE JAW WITH A KNEE!
Deadprez: Impact stabilizing himself as he grabs her I think he’s looking to go for a superplex! BUT SIENNA IS FIGHTING OUT WITH PUNCHES AIMED RIGHT TO HIS GUT AS IMPACT IS FORCED TO LET GO AND RETREAT AWAY AS HE STUMBLES OFF! IMPACT DOESN’T SEE IT AS HE TURNS AROUND TOO LATE AND SIENNA CONNECTS WITH A DIVING CROSSBODY SENDING BOTH OF THEM DOWN TO THE GROUND!
Flannery McCoy: Both Impact and Sienna are giving it their all as none of them seem to want to give in for the long run to say the very least! Both of them are slowly getting up to their feet but Sienna seems to be faster as she grabs Impact by the head and pulls him up to his feet. Sienna firing forearm shots right at his face! BUT IMPACT QUICKLY FIRING BACK! Both of them quickly fighting yet it’s Impact who’s sent down to a knee! Sienna quickly grabbing Impact as she begins to push him into the corner, BUT IMPACT QUICKLY GRABBING SIENNA AND SLAMMING HER SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST!
Jake Mercer: YEAH IMP TURNER WOOOOOO! Anyways, Impact grabbing Sienna as he slams her shouiderfirst once more into the turnbuckle paddings! Sienna quickly stumbling away as Impact grabs her by the arms and sends her into a irish whip! Sienna rebounds off the ropes as Impact is ready, BUT IMPACT IS MET WITH A KNEE AS SIENNA SLAMS HER KNEE RIGHT INTO THE FACE OF THE 9 TIME WORLD CHAMPION SENDING HIM DOWN TO THE GROUND!
Deadprez: Sienna quickly bringing him up as she pushes him up against the ropes and forcing him to run to the other side and back, SIENNA CONNECTS WITH A HIGH DROPKICK RIGHT TO THE HEAD OF IMPACT SENDING HIM DOWN TO THE GROUND! Impact is up in a sitting position as Sienna runs towards the ropes and back in a blitz of speed, SIENNA KICKING IMPACT RIGHT IN THE FACE SENDING HIM BACKFIRST BACK DOWN TO THE GROUND!
Flannery McCoy: Impact trying to pull himself up to his feet quickly as Sienna is just waiting for him to pull himself up as she seems ready to pull the trigger on this matchup! WITCHES HAMMER! NO! IMPACT DUCKS UNDER THE RIPCORD ROLLING ELBOW! IMPACT QUICKLY TURNING SIENNA AROUND AS HE TRIES TO LOCK IN THE REAR NAKED CHOKE! MILLENNIAL INCARCERATION-
Jake Mercer: BUT SIENNA WITH A ELBOW RIGHT TO THE FACE OF IMPACT BEFORE HE CAN CONNECT WITH IT! Impact stumbles backwards as Sienna runs right to him, SHINING WIZARD RIGHT TO THE HEAD OF IMPACT! Impact falls right to the ground as Sienna is taking the time to go up to the top rope, what could she be thinking! STARSTRUCK-
Deadprez: NO! IMPACT MANAGES TO GET HIS KNEES UP AS SIENNA LANDS! SIENNA TUMBLES OFF IMPACT AS IMPACT GETS UP TO HIS FEET AND LEAPS OFF THE ROPES! FLIGHT SIGHTS! SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT RIGHT ONTO SIENNA OUT OF NOWHERE AS IMPACT GOES FOR THE PIN ON SIENNA!
OOONNNEEE!!!
TTTTWWWWOOOO!!!!
TTTTTHHHHHHRRR-
Flannery McCoy: SIENNA JADE KICKS OUT! Impact looks disgruntled as he gets up to his feet now waiting for Sienna to get up as well. Sienna stumbling up to her feet as Impact seems ready to top this all off as it’s clear Sienna is not ready! IMPACT RUNS FORWARD! FIST OF FURY-
Jake Mercer: BUT SIENNA MANAGES TO DUCK UNDER IT! SIENNA QUICKLY RUNNING AWAY FROM IMPACT AS IMPACT DOESN’T REALIZE! RAW SIENNA- IMPACT! IMPACT MANAGES TO ROLL OUT OF THE WAY! EVISCERATION! NO! WHAT RAW STRENGTH! SIENNA MANAGES TO KEEP IMPACT UP, SHE TRANSITIONS IT INTO A FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX! BOTH OF THEM ARE DOWN!
Deadprez: They’re slowly beginning to rise up once more as both of them again have a fire to succeed. IMPACT AND SIENNA QUICKLY RUNNING AT ONE ANOTHER AS THEY TRADE LEFTS AND RIGHTS! BOTH OF THEM ARE QUICKLY HAMMERING AWAY ON ONE ANOTHER AS IT’S CLEAR THEY REALLY DO WANT TO WIN THIS MATCH! IMPACT WITH A GUT KICK AS HE KICKS SIENNA AWAY FROM HIM! IMPACT QUICKLY RUNS FORWARD! BUT SIENNA QUICKLY MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! SIENNA SENDING IMPACT TO THE ROPES, BUT IMPACT MANAGES TO GRAB A HOLD OF THE ROPES BEFORE SIENNA CAN DO ANYTHING! WAIT WAIT! WHAT THE FUCK?!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Flannery McCoy: XANDER PAYNE WITH A CHAIR SHOT RIGHT TO THE BACK OF SIENNA JADE! SIENNA CRUMBLES TO THE GROUND AS IMPACT LOOKS IN SHOCK AND QUICKLY RUNS AT HIM! LAST SEDATION! THE PAYNE KILLER SLAMS IMPACT DOWN TO THE GROUND WITH A POP-UP POWERBOMB!
(Xander looks with a chuckle as the Ref quickly runs over to Stephie Love and begins to tell her the result of the match)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen due to the interference of Xander Payne, this match is a… NO CONTEST!
Jake Mercer: THE MATCH IS DONE MEANWHILE IT SEEMS LIKE GODZILLA ISN’T! Xander quickly grabbing Sienna Jade as slowly but surely he begins to pick apart both of them, XANDER THROWING SIENNA SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST! SIENNA QUICKLY STUMBLING OUT OF THE CORNER AS XANDER KICKS SIENNA RIGHT IN THE GUT! PAYNEKILLER! PACKAGE PILEDRIVER!
Deadprez: IMPACT QUICKLY RUNNING FORWARD AS HE TRIES TO LAND SOME PUNCHES AT XANDER! BUT XANDER IS READY! ANOTHER LAST SEDATION SLAMS IMPACT RIGHT BACK DOWN TO THE GROUND!
(Xander looks down on Impact with a smirk before looking up to the camera. He mockingly places a foot onto the body of Impact with Sienna near him as he spreads his arms with a cocky expression as Dynasty fades out with that being the last shot seen)
(The broadcast feed transitions to a close up shot of a pair hands as an individual is shown slowly taping up their wrists, presumably before heading into in-ring competition. As the roll of tape finishes, the camera slowly zooms out, revealing that these hands in the frame belong to SOSA Henderson, the number one contender to the EAW World Heavyweight Champion. He stands tall in the locker room and lets out a puff of air as he grasps his wrists, checking the stability of his wrist tape. As he reaches behind him for his denim jacket to throw over his ring gear, Michael Belfort swoops into view of the camera with a microphone in hand.)
Michael Belfort: Hi, SOSA! Do you have some time to spare before tonight’s main event matchup?
SOSA Henderson: Ayo, Michael! Of course! What’s good with you?!
(SOSA excitedly punches Michael in the arm, sending him back a few steps. He massages his bicep with a smile as he raises the mic back to his mouth.)
Michael Belfort: I believe the question that the EAW Universe wants an answer to is what’s good with *you*, SOSA? How are you feeling heading into the main event on Dynasty tonight?
SOSA Henderson: Feels reeeeeal, good. ‘Bout as good as it felt to leave that Grand Rampage match knowing that I made it to the final five out of forty of EAW’s finest set of competitors. Even though I was still gunning for a win–shiiiid, I might have even preferred to be final four, final three woulda been a dream come true. ‘Cause even without a Grand Rampage victory, I still found my way smack dab in the middle of the championship scene, takin’ on Drake King one-on-one for the EAW W-H-C. And they tried to tell me HOLLYWOOD SOSA HENDERSON (as SOSA yells into the microphone, Michael is seen jumping in surprise) wasn’t ever gonna amount to anything in EAW. Here I am already, in the main event of Dynasty, too. As some loose lipped, fat-headed forehead, lowly bitchass whore might say, “talk to me nice.”
Michael Belfort: Very interesting! Do you have any thoughts on teaming up with Drake King tonight? Quite the pickle you’ve found yourself, in, SOSA, I can’t imagine that the two of you will make much of a well-composed team knowing that you have a title shot in the near future–only two weeks to be exact!
SOSA Henderson: I’m just lookin’ to get a W, man. He’ll be in the prime spot to bear witness to this greatness right here in the flesh, better make sure he’s ready for SOSA come Gateway To Glory. And I’m ‘bout to make sure Kassidy Heart and Serena Bennett learn to understand that I’m not the one to play with too, they both had far too much negativity to throw at me this past week, my ex especially. Surprised Drake didn’t have too much to say about me this week, though, other than he doesn’t expect much from me tonight. Young bull went soft on me, did he? Had all that shit to talk about me before I came back, even been caught talking down on the Hall-of-Famer and legend, the Heart Break Boy after his fluke ass “retired” him. Maaaaan, fuck alldat! I’m not about to let all that slide. Regardless of tonight’s outcome, regardless of how we head into Gateway To Glory, I’m leaving by accomplishing at least two things–first off, walking out with that belt, ya digg? And second, making sure he won’t dare speak down on Heart Break Boy’s name ever again.
(SOSA folds his arms over his chest and flashes a confident smile.)
Michael Belfort: I’m getting the impression that you don’t take the shots Drake has thrown over the last few months at Heart Break Boy lightly. I know Drake takes a lot of credit for having retired the Hall-of-Famer.
SOSA Henderson: (He sighs.) Yeah, I know that, Michael. But Drake King needs to take a step back and understand that he can’t keep acting like Heart Break Boy wasn’t a formidable opponent, even in the last few months of his time in EAW. There’s a reason I’ve followed the Heart Break Boy’s footsteps. We share similarities in survival. He was raised in such a violent city that has accumulated the most deaths in the United States but was still able to become the man that some are willing to call, ”Greatest of All Time.” This man single-handedly took over what you call side-parties and outside territories and STILL did all that he could do in the EAW Universe. He was the true definition of hustle. The young bull did it with no help, and nobody to vouch for him. I admire him deeply, and he had a big hand in helping influence the man that I am today. Granted, he and I are far different from one another, but I picked up a thing or two in that ring, about my life philosophies, about what’s necessary to take a man like Drake down, to stay afloat in this business. That boy tried to say he would have beat the old man whether or not he was in his prime, like, this bull is crazy. He needa put some respect on that name right quick–and if I have to be the one to make him realize it, then you know what, fine, I can do that.
(Suddenly, SOSA snatches the microphone out of Michael Belfort’s hands, then turns away to stare directly into the camera.)
SOSA Henderson: Drake King, I’m talkin’ directly to you. This not a threat, this is a warning, young bull. Nah fuck that, it’s a guarnatee that at Gateway To Glory, you gonna regret speaking badly about my mentor, the Hall-of-Famer, a pioneer in this damn industry. I’m making it a promise to myself that I will avenge Heart Break Boy, whatever it fucking takes. I’ll stand up for him and against all that shit you had to say about him ‘cause he’s not here to defend himself against you right now. Like my mentor once said, it’s about time that his generation starts a fresh era in wrestling, an era that is meaningful. It doesn’t need any “simple” champions blocking our relevance, or tryna diminish the efforts those who came before them put forth into making it so we can have a place to call home. It needs a leader. It needs a TRUE champion. You’ll find that true champion once we finally get to crown SOSA HENDERSON the E-A-W WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! I’m comin’ for ya head, lil’ homie, I’m taking that belt right out your hands and putting an end to your joke of a title reign once and for all. I’m here to correct everything negative you ever had to say about SOSA Henderson AND the Heart Break Boy. Never in your life will you make the mistake of doubting either one of us again.
(SOSA forcefully pushes the microphone into the chest of Michael. He then reaches into his jacket pocket to pull out his signature sunglasses. Glaring, he throws the shades over his eyes, then shakes his arms and hands out before stomping out of the locker room. The camera focuses on an inspired Michael Belfort as the broadcast feed transitions to commercial break.)
(Commercial break — an ad for King’s Hawaiian Rolls featuring EAW Elitist Serena Bennett. Serena Bennett and King’s Hawaiian have partnered together to donate $1 million to assist hospital workers in the United States. Additionally, for every consumer purchase, King’s Hawaiian will donate a bag of their signature 24-count Hawaiian rolls to a family in need. :wow: )
Stephie Love: The following contest is your main event match of the evening, and it’s scheduled for ONE FALL!……
(‘Monster’ by Kayne West blares and echoes from the speakers throughout the performance center as Kassidy Heart makes her way out on the stage in her ring gear ready to go. She has a rather perturbed expression upon her face as she makes her way down the ramp to the ring.)
Stephie Love: Introducing first, she hails from Sydney, Australia…She weighs in at ONE HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE POUNDS…She’s THE CURRENT ELITE ANSWERS WRESTLING NATIONAL ELITE CHAMPION… She’s ‘THE MAULER’…. KASSIDY!!!!!!!! HEART!!!!!!!
Stew-O: This lady certainly has a lot on her mind as we approach Gateway To Glory. If you caught Dynasty last Friday, Chris Elite was at it again with his Gawd Contract and this time he stuck it right to his haters with this woman being at the center of it all.
Flannery McCoy: Right you are on that, Stew, and the woman she’s teaming with tonight will also be her partner at Gateway To Glory, reluctant or not, to take on her bestie Sienna Jade and Sienna’s boyfriend the former nine time world champion, Impact!
Jake Mercer: Yeah, everyone’s just about up in arms about it because Chris Elite flexes some of his corporate leverage that he has. Big deal. There’s no way you could tell me with a straight face that you wouldn’t do the same that Chris Elite has provided you had the power. The man hellbent on keeping himself and everyone else in this company safe, but mostly himself! Therefore we should all be thanking him for that! We should thanking him for putting a good match on the card that promises to make more money for this company than it’s made all season by placing four of the top names anywhere in this business together, and the fact that it adds soap opera drama that Dynasty is known for? What more could ask for, and now unlike Showdown Chris has great talent to work with such as this woman!
(‘Surfin’ (ft. Pharrell Williams) by Kid Cudi begins suddenly just as Kassidy Heart had entered the ring. This causes Kassidy to drop her usual in-ring pre-match routine and focus all her attention toward the entrance stage. With that out struts Serena Bennett, who’s smiling wide as usual while flaunting her jewelry. She eyes Kassidy who stands near the center of the ring looking on, her expression unchanged from a moment ago.)
Stephie Love: And her partner for the evening, she resides in Los Angeles, California…She weighs in at ONE HUNDRED FOURTEEN POUNDS….SERENA!!!!!!! BENNETT!!!!!!
Stew-O: This woman always manages to make some sort of a splash on any scene she walks into. She made an appearance back at Grand Rampage, interrupting Hot Take’s Ronan Malosi and since then she’s been back in the ring, and just last week she defeated the current Specialist Champion Darcy May Morgan, and it was like she’d never left.
Flannery McCoy: There are just some individuals that are as charismatic and polarizing, and almost right from the start this lady has shown why she’s one of the best at what she does, and this week is yet another chance to prove it! With her partner being Kassidy Heart, despite their issues in the past, she has a great chance of coming out on top this week too.
Jake Mercer: We’ll see about that. With Drake King on the side, our Paragon and savior, I don’t care how good you think you are, Dynasty is Drake King’s kingdom and the rest are just lucky to be able to dwell within it! He’s got Sosa Henderson, who’s his opponent for Gateway To Glory, tonight as a partner for our main event but if you saw how he came through big at the Grand Rampage then you know he’s certainly capable of bringing it on a weekly basis as well. But if he knows what’s good for him he’ll follow the lead of our Paragon and World Heavyweight Champion.
(Serena half-waves at Kassidy in a mocking manner and lends a wink. She skips down the ramp until reaching the ring where she slides in. Upon entry to the ring, she jumps onto the middle turnbuckle to pose before jumping down and walking right up to Kassidy Heart, and both ladies have a stare down and a few words as Serena’s music still plays for a moment.)
(‘Earned It’ By Chief Keef begins to play and out walks Sosa Henderson sporting his usual dark tinted sunglasses, black leather jacket, gloves, and a chain. He spins the chain some before slightly lowering his head and his sunglasses to view the intensified chatter going on between Serena and Kassidy. This brings a smirk to his face as he begins strolling down towards the ring.)
Stephie Love: And introducing their opponent, he resides in Hollywood, California…He weighs in at ONE HUNDRED NINETY ONE POUNDS….He now refers to himself as ‘HOLLYWOOD SOSA’, ‘THE SEXY MAJESTY’……SOSA!!!!!!!! HENDERSON!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Sosa Henderson, as was just mentioned, came out and made a big statement at Grand Rampage by coming in at number twenty eight but lasting until the final five. This after making his return a little over a month ago. He’s got a great opportunity tonight in our main event to make an even bigger statement!
Flannery McCoy: Sosa Henderson came into EAW proclaiming himself to be bulletproof, and he made a splash just before Pain For Pride last year by upsetting the Visual Prophet to win the New Breed Championship. He’s had a problem staying motivated if you were to talk to some about his time here on Dynasty, but it seems like he’s now ready to finally take off and shoot straight for the top. Starr Stan noticed his performance and now has started putting him in the bigger situations with more at stake, now let’s see if he can take advantage.
Jake Mercer: Not so fast! Fat check, Flannery. Now I know what I’ve just said about his Grand Rampage performance a moment ago too, but let’s not start jumping to conclusions when it comes to his future world championship opportunity against Drake King. Sosa is not the bottom of the food chain, but he’s gonna make for a good appetizer before the main course. I admire Starr Stan for recognizing the talent he has on Dynasty, but there’s nobody whose star shines brighter than Drake King’s.
(‘This is Your Life’ by The Dust Brothers & Tyler Durden blares suddenly over ‘Earned It’, and out walks Drake King with the World Heavyweight Championship draped over his right shoulder and his half of the Unified Tag Team Championship belts around his waist. He stares straight ahead to the ring, but his focus is mostly on his next Challenger for the World Heavyweight Championship, Sosa Henderson. Sosa too has a fascination with the World Heavyweight Champion and begins applauding Drake as he makes his way toward the ring, but it doesn’t appear to be genuine.)
Stephie Love: And introducing their opponent, he hails from Charlotte, North Carolina….He weighs in at TWO HUNDRED TWENTY POUNDS… He’s THE CURRENT ELITE ANSWERS WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…. He’s ‘THE PARAGON’…..DRAKE!!!!!!!!! KING!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: The World Heavyweight Champion, as we’ve covered over the last week or two since Grand Rampage, has been under a lot of stress having to deal with the circumstances involving his girlfriend Sierra Bradford after suffering an injury to her foot at the hands of his own partner the Visual Prophet. Since then Viz has made every effort to make up for his part in possibly breaking them up, even having Drake sign a Peace Treaty!
Flannery McCoy: One that Drake signed off on that states that Viz will not cash in his King of Elite crown for a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship while Drake is the Champion. His sister, Jessica, seems to believe her brother is being manipulated by his partner, and there’s certainly signs of that being the case. But nonetheless in two weeks time Drake and Viz will be defending their Unified Tag Team Championship belts against the current number one contenders, this year’s Grand Rampage winner Rex McAllister and former Universal Women’s Champion, Raven Roberts, a matchup that promises to be off the charts. However, tonight he’s got another man that’s his partner tonight, but will be his opponent come Gateway To Glory, in Sosa Henderson that he’s possibly got to worry about as well.
Jake Mercer: I, for once, am in complete agreement on that assessment, Flannery. Sosa Henderson has his own aspirations in mind, and our Paragon NEEDS to be aware of this. Drake has been given a bad rep about the competition he’s taken on and defeated since becoming Champ, which is quite unfair. When you’re the champ, it’s everyone else that has something to prove to you, not the other way around. He’s got Sosa to worry about before Pain For Pride, yes, but Sosa Henderson is nowhere ready to fulfill those aspirations. He’s still got a ways to go before he can be on the same level of best in the biz, especially Drake King!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: The tension in this ring right now is unmistakable between these four, so thick you could cut it with a knife. There’s so many combustible elements in play right now, and if any of them simmer down even just a tad bit we might actually experience a great main event match without all the calamity we usually see.
Flannery McCoy: Well, I second this thought, Stew. But I think it’s more ideal to hope at least that both sides will coexist enough in order to get the victory. Kassidy Heart and Serena Bennett, with them there’s no love loss there. These two ladies nearly destroyed each other at Operation Doomsday last year, and let’s not forget that it was Serena Bennett who became the first ever Universal Women’s Champion and Kassidy Heart was the one who cashed in her Iconic Cup to win the title. Then on the other side we Sosa Henderson, who’s outstanding showing in the Grand Rampage match has earned him a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship, while Drake King has experienced almost nothing but drama since becoming the World Heavyweight Championship. Some of it brought upon by his own girlfriend, Sierra Bradford, or ex depending who you are and how close you are to the situation.
Jake Mercer: Oh, please! Stop all the gossiping, Flannery. I mean this isn’t TMZ, geezus! I mean so much more entertaining to actually hear them argue, let’s listen in.
Serena Bennett (off mic): What, you wanna start the match?
Kassidy Heart (off mic): I’d love to start the match.
Serena Bennett (off mic): Be my guest. Wouldn’t be the first time you started something you couldn’t finish.
Kassidy Heart (off mic): What the fuck are you talking about?
Serena Bennett (off mic): ME, bitch!
Sosa Henderson (off mic): Damn, Drake. You want in on all that?
Drake King (off mic; shakes his head in disbelief):….
Stew-O: Well it looks like we’ll be starting off the match with Kassidy Heart and Sosa Henderson! Sosa looking like he’s all business now that he sees Kassidy moving in for a collar and elbow tie up, and it’s the bigger and stronger Sosa grabbing the early advantage with a side headlock! Sosa Henderson wrenching on the head of Kassidy, who’s trying to reach for the ropes but Sosa not letting up! Kassidy though is looking to sweep the leg of Sosa Henderson, and does! Both went down there which allows Kassidy to eacape and both competitors spring back up to a vertical fighting stance. Kassidy goads Sosa in this time, he was anticipating another lock up but Kassidy sticks him in the back of the head with a back elbow! Sosa felt that one! He didn’t take too kindly to that sharp elbow to his skull! And a wild swing for a clothesline attempt by Sosa, but the missed attempt is met with a hard shoot kick to the chest of Sosa Henderson who feels the effects of it and backs away and so far Kassidy Heart has shown how determined she is to grab the early advantage for her side.
Flannery McCoy: Well it’s still early and you get the sense that this one is already going to be an exciting one, and they lock up again. This time it’s Sosa that jostles for the position he likes and uses his overall strength advantage to force Kassidy into the corner, and a knife edged chop to the chest of Kassidy Heart, but Kassidy fires back with a knife edged chop of her own, and high knee from Kassidy Heart! No! Sosa catches the knee of Kassidy! Sosa pulls Kassidy in, and now Sosa has Kassidy up now! Overhead belly to belly!!?? No! Kassidy Heart headbutts Sosa Henderson! Another headbutt! Now an elbow to the eye of Sosa Henderson, and finally Sosa releases Kassidy! Now Sosa catches the high knee but Kassidy doesn’t let Sosa Henderson fall, instead she grabs him from and delivers the Russian leg sweep to Sosa Henderson! And Serena Bennett anxiously extending her arm out, and Kassidy sees this but will she really let this woman who’s tried to steal her spotlight before have the chance to do it again!!??
Serena Bennett (off mic): Give me that dirty ass Philly jawn who thinks he superstar material!
Kassidy Heart: You better not fuck this up for us, or I’ll make you personally regret it!
Serena Bennett: Yack! Yack! Yack! Shut yo bitch ass up already! DAMN!
***TAG***
Jake Mercer: And there’s a tag! Not too sure Kassidy loves being in this affair, but if her and Serena are going to be anything of the team that they could be and pick up momentum going into Gateway To Glory then this is the time to do it! Serena wastes no time going after, well, she calls her ex. Serena applies a chin lock to Sosa! Serena torques at the chin of Sosa, but not for long! Sosa forces his way back to his feet and escapes the grasp of Serena! Serena with the shoot kick but it’s sidestepped by Sosa, and it’s Sosa that catches Serena off guard with the tornado kick which takes Serena Bennett down! Serena is slow to recover after suffering the affects of that kick square to the skull of Serena! Now a snapmare by Sosa followed up by a leg drop! Now Sosa slapping Serena disrespectfully just like a man should when his woman gets outta line! But Serena being a stubborn one here as she throws a couple of closed fists to the midsection of Sosa, but they don’t seem to have much effect as Sosa pulls Serena up by her hair! Serena tries fighting out but Sosa manages to extend his arm out looking for the tag from our Paragon!
Sosa Henderson: Ya bruh! You want in on this or what!!? What we have coming up will come. I’m here to earn this shit!
Drake King: I’m watching you.
***TAG***
Stew-O: And there’s a tag, wow. The two have words for each other but it’s clear they both are on the same page, at least for the time being. Drake high knee to the midsection as Sosa held Serena in position! Serena keels over in some pain but Drake adds to the attack with a clubbing blow to the back that makes Serena Bennett drop down to her knees! Drake knocks Serena backwards after rocking her with that superkick! Now Drake drops a knee onto the head of Serena and now goes for the cover!
Ref: ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: And a kick to the head by Kassidy Heart that sends Drake King tumbling off Serena Bennett! Drake King gets up though as the referee is ushering Kassidy back, but this just allows Drake to stomp on the limbs of Serena, and now a grounded headlock by the current World Heavyweight Champion on the former Universal Women’s Champion, so far keeping her stationary! Now Drake drives a knee into the back of Serena Bennett who yelps out in pain from that! Drake drags her to the ropes and begins choking her in the ropes and the referee begins his count! Drake let’s up at the count of five, and Drake gets in the face of the referee trying to intimidate him but the referee is standing his ground! Serena is now using the ropes to slowly pull herself up, and she turns around and Drake tries for a clothesline but a baseball slide by Serena evades the attack! Double leg takedown from behind! That takes Drake King by surprise, and Drake scrambles to try getting back to his feet but Serena cuts Drake off by pulling him back! Serena appears to be trying to lock in a hold here. The backwards bridge into an inverted headlock! She’s got it locked in! Drake’s in some agony, yelling out loud, but Serena gives up over a hundred pounds in this exchange so I don’t know how long this submission maneuver will prove to be effective!
Jake Mercer: This is so disrespectful! How can Serena Bennett treat our Paragon, the greatest World Heavyweight Champion of all time, this way!!?? I gotta get in there and help him!
Stew-O: You will do no such thing, Jake. And as predicted, Drake is powering through and inching his way to the ropes but Serena smartly keeping the hold cinched in to make Drake exert more energy. Certainly Serena appears to have a game plan, and she’s looking to execute it tonight! And Drake finally reaches the ropes! Serena wastes no time at all after that five count to rise back to her feet! Serena grabs up Drake and presses him against the ropes, and a roundhouse kick to the chest of King followed up immediately with a running bulldog that drives the face of Drake King…No! King blocks the attempt and Serena lands awkwardly and tries to quickly recover! She turns right into Drake King rushing right to her, running DDT…No! Serena blocks the attempt! Swinging heel kick is dodged by King! King locks the arm of Serena and looks for the hiptoss, but it’s being blocked by Serena! High knee to the midsection and that makes King keel over. Serena looking to chop King down to size with a headscissors takedown, but King transitions out and delivers an elbow at full force toward Serena! No! It’s sidestepped by Serena, and a tornado DDT by Serena and this connects with the face of King being smashed into the canvas! And a cover by Serena!
Ref: ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: And this time it’s broken up by Sosa Henderson! And Kassidy Heart steps in now as Serena has some words for Sosa laying that boot to her back to break up that pinfall, but the referee right there to come between them! He has his back turned while Kassidy lends a cheap shot to the Drake King after he had something to say in Kassidy’s direction. Now the referee is rushing to come between Kassidy and Drake. The referee has a tall order in there to control all these egos, and now look at Serena! Drake had his back turned, his attention still on Kassidy, and Serena with a roll up!
Ref: ONE!!!! TW-
Jake Mercer: Thankfully Drake King kicks out! Get Serena Bennett out of there! All she wants to do is try to embarrass our Paragon! This is disgraceful, such disrespect being shown to the Champion of all people, and Kassidy Heart extending her hand out for the tag! Serena somersault rolls over to her corner and she reaches for the tag! Don’t you dare THINK of eating one nibble off our Paragon, Kassidy!
***TAG***
Stew-O: Can you get a hold on yourself, Jake? Kassidy Heart is a fierce competitor just like anyone else, the most fierce in some walks of this company, and she’s here to win tonight on Dynasty in our main event. Her motives are clear. She’s out to win! They’ve both locked up, and Kassidy grabs the advantage with a side headlock but the strength of Drake shoves her towards the ropes. Kassidy has other ideas, however, and refuses to let go of the side headlock, taking Drake down to the canvas! Drake on his knees while Kassidy is in a sitting position tightening her hold! Now Drake is pulled all the way down to the canvas! Now Kassidy laying vicious closed fist blows to the head, but Drake still has the strength advantage and he uses that advantage to transition in a pin attempt! Kassidy’s shoulders are down!
Ref: ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: And Kassidy releases the hold just in time to keep from getting counted down! Both Drake and Kassidy race to their feet close to their respective corners! ***Simultaneous TAGS*** WHAT!!??? Both Sosa and Serena Bennett just tagged themselves in! And as you can imagine that’s not sitting well with either Kassidy Heart or Drake King at the moment!
Kassidy Heart: What did you do that for!!?? I had that faux Messiah right where I wanted him!
Serena Bennett: You ain’t gonna be havin’ all the fun here tonight, don’t worry Caccidy, I got dis!
(Over on the opposite side the commotion is no different)
Drake King: What the HECK are you doing? I’m the Paragon, this MY show! Why I’m even trying so hard to work with someone who’s going to be my opponent, WHO I AM ONLY GOING TO BEAT ANYWAYS, I’ll never know!
Sosa Henderson: See, that’s where you got it wrong! HOLLYWOOD is running this show now! But at least I’ll tell you how it be, unlike yo partner who hides his true intentions.
Jake Mercer: He cannot talk to our World Heavyweight Champion like that! Who does this guy think he is??? At any rate we now have a battle of exes! This should be interesting, and probably even more so is the fact that neither of them had anything to say they just go right at each other! Sosa grabs for Serena looking for a tie up but Serena tags him good with that closed fist punch right to the head of Sosa! Oh man, Sosa is not looking Hollywood happy right now, and Serena’s hand smarting after that! Sosa throws a wild punch that’s fast and furious but Serena Bennett is still able to avoid the contact and now she delivers a couple of forearm shivers to the face of Sosa Henderson! Now an Irish whip by Serena to Sosa Henderson but it’s reversed by Sosa! Sosa doesn’t let go, instead he pulls Serena back in and is looking for a short arm clothesline. No! Serena ends up behind Sosa instead and Serena shoves Sosa towards the ropes but Sosa with a devastating bicycle knee strike to Serena that takes her off her feet! Sosa yanks Serena up by her hair and lifts her upward for a vertical suplex but he just sort lets her hang in the air! Sosa showing off his strength! Wait a minute! Here comes Kassidy Heart, and Sosa turns to see Kassidy! Kassidy with a thrusting side kick to the chest of Sosa that knocks him back and Serena lands on top! Sosa’s shoulders are down!
Ref: ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!!
Stew-O: Sosa powers Serena off, and Drake King looks on in amusement! It could have been over right there and Drake is really smiling over this! Serena is back to her feet first and she grabs Sosa up and whips him but Sosa reverses it and sends Serena toward Drake King but Serena with a flying dropkick that sends Drake King flying off the apron and crashing right smack-face-first into our announce table! Sosa Henderson with a jumping DDT that spikes the head of Serena Bennett right into the canvas! Sosa looks to take advantage, NORVINA LIGHTS! THE SPIKED HURRICANRANA BY KASSIDY HEART! Things are getting out of hand here suddenly and the referee has a bit of order in this match! Drake King is just about back to his feet, Kassidy using the ropes to build up momentum here, and there she goes! SUICIDE DIVE THROUGH THE ROPES TO THE OUTSIDE RIGHT ON TO THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!! KASSIDY MOUNTS THE HEAD OF DRAKE AND BEGINS LAYING BLOW AFTER BLOW! DRAKE IS TRYING TO BLOCK SOME OF THESE BLOWS BUT IS NOT HAVING VERY MUCH SUCCESS! IN THE RING SERENA IS BACK UP AND SO IS SOSA! SOSA WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX! BUT SERENA LANDS ON HER FEET! A SHOOT KICK BY SERENA! AND ANOTHER! AND A JUMPING BACK KICK! SHE CALLS THAT WITH THE SHITS!! AND SOSA STAGGERS BACK! KASSIDY HEART CLIMBS UP ON THE APRON, AND NOW SHE ASCENDS TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! SHE’S GETTING READY TO FLY! SHE’S GOING FOR THE HEART ATTACK! BUT LOOK AT DRAKE HE JUST SHOVED KASSIDY OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE WHERE SHE CRASHES AND BURNS ON THE CANVAS! SOSA COMES TO AND SPEARS SERENA! NO! REEL IT IN!!! THE TILT A WHIRL HEADSCISSORS TAKEDOWN TO SOSA HENDERSON!!! SERENA GOING-OH MY GOD!!! THE GUILLOTINE!!! THAT SICK KICK BY DRAKE KING AND SERENA IS OUT!!! DRAKE GRABS THE ARM OF SOSA AND DRAPES IT OVER SERENA!!
Ref: ONE!!! TWO!!!! THR-
Flannery McCoy: And Serena Bennett shoots an arm up, and this match continues! Kassidy Heart is back up now and Drake King realizes it but is powerless to do anything as Kassidy clotheslines Drake to the outside and now takes the match to the outside! Spear by Kassidy! She just speared Drake back against the barricade! Kassidy precise kicks and devastating strikes to the chest area of King! Kassidy is not done! She whips Drake toward the steel steps but Drake reverses the momentum and sends Kassidy to the steps instead and Kassidy goes tumbling over the steps and crashing to the floor on the other side! Drake falls to a knee to catch a breather!
Jake Mercer: These two women, AND SOSA HENDERSON ARE GONNA PAY FOR HOW THEIR TREATING THE GREATEST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF ALL TIME LIKE THIS!! THIS IS A DAMN TRAVESTY! Sosa and Serena are slowly struggling back to their feet, Sosa is using the ropes. Serena is up and she goes up on the corner turnbuckle and she awaits Sosa turns right into a diving crossbody by Serena Bennett, she hooks the leg, he’s got the pin!
Ref: ONE!!!! TWO!!!!
Stew-O: Now Sosa, the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship is the one that fights out this time! Drake King and Kassidy Heart have made it back to their corners now, and as strange as this match has been both are too competitive to want to give in to the other, they want to win! Now Sosa and Serena are on all fours trying to reach their respective corners. They’re almost there, both Drake and Kassidy are reaching out for the tag! And they both get it!
***Simultaneous TAGS***
Flannery McCoy: And now Kassidy and Drake are in and neither competitor is wasting any time, both begin slugging it out back and forth! KASSIDY WITH A FOREARM THAT STAGGERS DRAKE! DRAKE FIRES BACK WITH A FOREARM THAT ROCKS KASSIDY! BUT KASSIDY COMES RIGHT BACK WITH ONE OF HER OWN! NOW DRAKE FIRES BACK! KASSIDY AGAIN! DRAKE AGAIN! NOW A KICK TO THE MIDSECTION BY DRAKE TO KASSIDY! ANOTHER KICK BUT KASSIDY CATCHES THE LEG! ENZIGIRI TO KASSIDY HEART! KASSIDY FALLS BACK AGAINST THE ROPES! DRAKE HAS KASSIDY! HE’S LOOKING FOR THE RIPCORD KNEE STRIKE, BUT KASSIDY COUNTERS INTO THE TORNADO DOUBLE ARM LEG SCISSORS! THE NEIMAN MARCUS OF WRESTLING MOVES! DRAKE IS TRAPPED! DRAKE YELLING OUT IN PAIN! WILL DRAKE KING TAP!!??
Jake Mercer: MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILL KASSIDY SPARE OUR PARAGON!!?? DON’T EAT HIM KASSIDY! THIS IS THE HEART THAT PUMPS BLOOD INTO DYNASTY! DRAKE INCHING CLOSER! HE’S ALMOST TO THE ROPES! HE’S REACHING OUT FOR THE ROPES, AND NOW KASSIDY PULLS AWAY FROM THE ROPES! KASSIDY MIGHT HAVE HIM HERE! NOT SO FAST! HAHAHA!!! SOSA PULLING THE HAIR OF KASSIDY NOW WHILE STANDING ON THE OUTSIDE! KASSIDY FINALLY LETS GO OF DRAKE AS HER HAIR IS BEING PULLED! DRAKE ROLLING AWAY TRYING TO FIND SOME ROOM TO RECOVER! AND SERENA BENNETT WITH A SUICIDE DIVE ON TO SOSA! SHE CAME THROUGH THE ROPES! THAT SENT BOTH HER AND SOSA HENDERSON INTO THE BARRICADE! KASSIDY CALLING FOR DRAKE TO RISE UP! SHE’S READY TO FINISH DRAKE! DRAKE IS UP BUT KASSIDY BEAT HIM TO THE PUNCH WITH A CLUBBING BLOW TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD, NOW SHE’S LOOKING FOR A STRAIGHTJACKET GERMAN SUPLEX ON DRAKE! NO! THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION WAS ALERT FOR IT! A BACK ELBOW BY DRAKE! UNTIL DAWN! NO! KASSIDY SHOVES DRAKE AWAY INTO THE ROPES! DRAKE IS TRIPPED UP BY SERENA BENNETT! DRAKE TAKING EXCEPTION TO THAT! HERE COMES KASSIDY! AND A CLOTHESLINE BY KASSIDY SENDING DRAKE OVER THE TOP ROPE! DAMMIT!
Stew-O: Serena and Kassidy may not like each other or the situation they’ve been put in, but they’re sure working together right now! Precise kicks and strikes by Kassidy on Drake King! With the Shits by Serena on Drake King! The World Heavyweight Champion taking a lot of punishment! Both are now looking for a double suplex on Drake! They’re going to suplex Drake on the ramp way! But here comes Sosa Henderson from behind now! He turns Serena around, STOLE YO BITCH!! THAT JUMPING CUTTER CONNECTS! DRAKE FIGHTS OUT OF KASSIDY’S GRASP! SOSA JOINS IN AND NOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED! BOTH SOSA AND DRAKE SUPLEX KASSIDY ON THE RAMP INSTEAD! OUCH! AND KASSIDY ECHOES MY THOUGHTS AS SHE YELLS OUT IN PAIN AFTER BACK CRASHED AGAINST THE RAMP!
Flannery McCoy: Drake rolls into the ring and rolls back out to break the referee’s ten count. Sosa goes back to his corner while Drake ushers Kassidy up and rolls her in the ring. The intensity has picked up over the last few minutes, you have to wonder if we’re nearing the end. Drake climbing up to the top. What’s he gonna do here? PHOENIX SPLASH CONNECTS!
Ref: ONE!!!! TWO!!!! THRE-
Jake Mercer: THAT WAS THREE! Mother-fff, DAMN!! Our Paragon should have had his arm raised there! That ref should be fired! Drake is frustrated, as he should be, but he’s pressing on. Now Drake grabs up Kassidy and whips her to the corner opposite of her’s. And a knee to the back by Sosa Henderson to Kassidy Heart, followed up by a clothesline from Drake taking Kassidy down again! Serena Bennett is stirring, but if she knew what was best for her! Now Drake laying a couple of hard stomps to the back of Kassidy!
***TAG***
Drake King: What are you doing? I’ve got this match won!
Sosa Henderson: You right, and Hollywood thanks you for fine work! But now it’s time to finish this in style.
Stew-O: Well, the ego once again coming into play here as the referee indicates to Drake that Sosa is the legal man, and Drake is not happy about that in the least! Sosa has Kassidy Heart up and he’s looking for the JML Driver
***TAG***
Flannery McCoy: Drake King just tagged himself back in! And Sosa Henderson is steaming now, and Drake is laughing as he shrugs! Unbelievable! Wait a minute! Running bulldog by Serena Bennett who’s back in this! She just drilled Sosa Henderson right into the canvas! Drake didn’t see her, now he does and he goes right for Serena who was ready! CAPTAIN HOOK! THE UPPERCUT JUST KNOCKED DRAKE KING OFF BALANCE! KASSIDY ROLLS UP DRAKE KING!!!
Ref: ONE!!!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!!
(Drake kicks out a millisecond late)
(DING! DING! DING!)
(‘Monster’ by Kayne West as Kassidy Heart immediately holds her back area, clearly from being nicked up a bit while the referee raises her hand along with Serena Bennett’s who’s also holding the back of her head.)
Stephie Love: Here are your winners…the team of SERENA BENNETT and KASSIDY HEART!!!!
(Kassidy Heart and Serena Bennett are certainly hurting, but they can’t help but stare each other down despite getting the win. These two don’t like each other, but for one night they’ll take the win.)
Stew-O: Well, we just saw one hell of a main event. Four of the top names on this brand went put their outstanding talent on display tonight. The chemistry was not there at all times, on either side, but the sense of urgency to win was there for both Kassidy Heart and Serena Bennett!
Flannery McCoy: That it was. Drake and Sosa had the match in hand at the end, but both men wanted the glory and that was the beginning of the end of this brief partnership. Congratulations to both Kassidy and Serena on picking up the win tonight!
Jake Mercer: CONGRATULATIONS!!?? REALLY!!??? IN THE WORDS OF OUR GREAT PARAGON, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!! WHAT THE HECK!!?? WERE YOU TWO EVEN WATCHING THE SAME MATCH!!?? DRAKE HAD THE MATCH WON BEFORE SOSA HENDERSON DECIDED TO GET GREEDY AND TRY TO TAKE DRAKE’S MOMENT! HOW CAN THOSE WOMEN BE HAPPY WITH THIS VICTORY!!??
(Both Kassidy and Serena are seen at ringside. Kassidy is at the ramp way already walking up the ramp, while Serena is enjoying having gotten the best of her ex and the current World Heavyweight Champion, sporting a sense of satisfaction as she looks on one last time before making her way to the ramp. Drake and Sosa have reached their feet finally.)
Stew-O: At any rate-whoa-uh-oh. Hold on. Drake and Sosa have recovered, and neither looks happy with how this bout ended.
Drake King (off mic): What the hell were you doing!!?? You couldn’t let me end things just like I promised all week that I would. You had to let your stupid idiotic pride shine through, didn’t you? You’re worthless, and there’s no way I will go down to a worthless loser like you!
Flannery McCoy: DRAKE JUST SLAPPED SOSA HENDERSON, AND SOSA HENDERSON IMMEDIATELY TACKLES THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION TO THE CANVAS! BOTH MEN SHOWING A GREAT DEAL OF ANIMOSITY TOWARD THE OTHER AS THEY TRADE BLOW FOR BLOW! DRAKE HAS NOW SWITCHED THE MOMENTUM! DRAKE GOING WILD WITH THOSE FISTS OF FURY! NOW SOSA HAS TURNED THE MOMENTUM BACK TO HIS ADVANTAGE! DRAKE TRYING TO SCRAMBLE AWAY! HE’S RIGHT HERE OUT FRONT OF OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE! DRAKE JUST SNATCHED UP HIS WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! HE’S TRYING TO MAKE A BEE-LINE, BUT SOSA SLIDES OUT TO MEET DRAKE KING! DRAKE GOES FOR A SWING OF THE TITLE AT SOSA HENDERSON, BUT SOSA AVOIDS THE ONCOMING ATTACK! NOW SOSA WITH A SPEAR ON DRAKE! BOTH OF THESE MEN WILL BE IN A WAR IN TWO WEEKS TIME, BUT THEY COULD VERY WELL KILL EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW! DRAKE JUST HAD THE AIR TAKEN RIGHT OUT OF HIS SAILS! SOSA ROLLS DRAKE INTO THE RING! THAT SPEAR REALLY ROCKED HIM! SOSA GRABS DRAKE AND WHIPS HIM TO THE ROPES! PAID. IN. FULL. THE DOUBLE CURB STOMP, AND THE CHAMP IS OUT!
Jake Mercer: This is a horrible night, an absolute atrocity! Sosa Henderson is going to pay for his wrongdoings, rest assured on that!
Stew-O: This is exactly what happens when you put two men who will be opponents at a big FPV with the big prize up for grabs. Sosa Henderson has just snatched up the World Heavyweight Championship belt from the floor and re-enters the ring. Sosa Henderson is holding the World Heavyweight Championship up high! Could this be a sign of things to come at Gateway To Glory?? Will Serena and Kassidy be able to coexist enough to pull off the same result they did tonight?? All that and more is still yet to unfold, and we’ll just have to wait and see what happens! For Jake Mercer and Flannery McCoy, I’m Stew-O. We’ll see you all next week on Friday night Dynasty!
(The last shot is of Sosa Henderson still holding up the World Heavyweight Championship belt while glaring down at his adversary as the shot fades to black.)
(EAW Logo Buzzes)
