(EAW Logo flashes.)
(A recap is shown from last week’s episode. The empty Pensacola Bay Center set the stage for another classic episode of Friday Night Dynasty. We start with a segment featuring Sierra Bradford and Sarah Price as they show up on Dynasty and accept The Visual Prophet’s challenge for Grand Rampage to wrestle he and Drake King for the Unified Tag Team Championships. Conflicted, Drake refuses the match until he is forced to accept by his girlfriend Sierra Bradford but isn’t happy at all with the result. Afterwards, we see a battle royal that includes Dray Fontana, W1LH3LM, Angel De Plata Jr, Gwyn Gilfried, Hevel, El Landerson, Melissa O’Malley, Lisa Wren, and Osamu Arcichida. The over the top rope battle royal ended with newbie W1LH3LM and veteran Osamu going at it until Osamu hits his finisher and tosses him out of the ring. Osamu’s reward for his win is a later entry into the Grand Rampage match. Next, we get a segment with BVU and Shaker Jones where they take the piss out of Cage and “Kassidy Heart” who is caught dick eating as she apparently is known to do. Next, we watch newcomer Andre Walker take on Kasey Kaos. Both competitors fight hard but it is Walker who walks away with the win.)
(Later, we see an interview between Serena Bennett and Michael Belfort. Serena has smoke for Impact who happens to show up and confronts here with some smack talk of his own. Serena is berated by Impact but doesn’t back down until it’s clear her match is coming up soon. Korey Gaines takes on Serena Bennett in what is a near classic televised match that shows how good both can be but ultimately Serena submits Korey Gaines for the win. Following this, we see Dr. Bethany Blue shows up and speaks very ill of Specialist Champion Darcy May Morgan. She says DMM has the corona virus but regardless if she gets better or not she will become Specialist champion whether DMM shows up at Grand Rampage or not. After, Drake and Viz are seen outside and have a small argument with each other as their team is strained over this SASS tag match at Grand Rampage. Drake vents frustration as Viz tries to help Drake understand why he did what he did. It ends with both on a good standing as they return from outside of the building. Following this, The Visual Prophet goes one on one with New Breed Champion Justin Windgate and both men fight an incredible match. Justin Windgate has the King of Elite winner near the end but it is Viz who comes out on top after delivering his Bow to the Heart elbow. Next, Cage is interviewed but gives Belfort a hard time. Cage talks up his chances of winning Grand Rampage despite Chris Elite using his GAWD contract to give him terrible odds. Cage talks more shit about his opponent TLA and lets it be known tonight would be a preview of what was to come.)
(A preview is exactly what we got but not before we had a solid battle between two former World Champions. Cage and TLA go hard inside the ring and outside but it ends without a clear winner. Why? Members of the ten men battle royal earlier rush the ring led by the greatest luchador of all time EL LANDERSON. We watch as TLA and Cage manage to take out all of the elitist that entered the ring and stand alone staring each other down. We cut backstage where we see Andre Walker being interviewed. As he is speaking, Kensingten Calhoun-Astor interrupts and confuses him for SOSA Henderson despite them being different people because of racism. Kensingten dismisses Andre SOSA Walker Henderson as Andre is left seething. Andre challenges Kensingten to a match. Following this, the REAL SOSA Henderson did battle with Impact and Chris Elite. These three men give it their all in what is clearly a match of the night but sadly fans were robbed of a real ending as Korey Gaines interferes and attacks SOSA. Serena Bennett then finds her way to the ring and rips after Impact. Next, Kassidy Heart keeps the trend continuing as she rushes and mauls Chris Elite. All six elitists go at it until security finally stops the situation. Last but not least, we get a World Heavyweight Championship match between Drake King and Ronan Malosi. Ronan was an underdog but looked as good as he ever looked as he fought a valiant effort. Drake retains his title but is accosted by Lethal Consequences after another successful title defense. The show ends with Drake celebrating his win as LC is fuming.)
(We get an empty arena shot of Viejas Arena in San Diego, California. We get a quick pan as we arrive at the commentary booth with the usual Dynasty team.)
Stew-O: Welcome to another empty arena as we welcome you all to FRIDAY NIGHT DYNASTY! Tonight we continue the social distancing trend as we operate once again without fans in attendance. With that said, we got surprisingly good reviews from our last episode and hopefully we can continue churning out excellent content for all of you stuck at home under quarantine! I’m Stew-O and I’m joined as always by my lovely co-commentator Flannery McCoy.
Flannery McCoy: That’s right! I almost came here wearing a full pajama set seeing as a lot of our viewers have probably been wearing nothing but pajamas for the past few weeks as this covid-19 case just have not ended yet.
Jake Mercer: And it won’t end anytime soon! Summer is dead, toilet paper is worth more than gold, The Impact Zone is empty, and I think I saw Korey Gaines trade his skateboards for supply goods on the way in. That and I’ve been fapping furiously to Kassidy Heart doing TikTok challenges, yes that is all that’s kept me from going insane!
Stew-O: Um…Jake Mercer everybody…
Jake Mercer: AT LEAST WE GET ANOTHER EPISODE OF HOT TAKES with RONAN FUCKIN’ MALOSI TONIGHT!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: Yay, more Ronan segments. Woo hoo…
Jake Mercer: You can’t hate from outside the club, FLAN! Also, when you going to do the TikTok challenges like the rest of the EAW women? I’ve seen Serena Bennett transform from a makeupless lemur into a Bad Bitch. I watched Sarah Price go from looking homeless into a SUPERGIRL!
Flannery McCoy: Well, that will never happen. What will happen is tonight’s festivities as we are in for a great show with Kensingten Calhoun-Asto facing Andre Walker.
Stew-O: Yes, that should be fun. We also will see Korey Gaines and SOSA Henderson finally get their one on one match, Cage facing Osamu Arcichida in a Grand Rampage preview, TLA against Serena Bennet with Impact as the referee, and Chris Elite vs Lethal Consequences in the main event. The number one contender for the National Elite and World Heavyweight championships headline tonight’s episode as-
(‘Friend vs Friend’ by Company Flow plays. Out stomps Lethal Consequences himself as he stares at the empty arena.)
Flannery McCoy: Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
Stew-O: A man that was previously National Elite
Jake Mercer: NAT-ION-AL EX-TREME! National EXTREME CHAMPION! Get it right or get the fuck out!
Stew-O: :wow: I forgot you were one of his fanatics.
Flannery McCoy: Yeah, I never will forget.
Stew-O: He lost that title, whatever you call it, to Kassidy Heart in a brutal fashion. But, now he has set his sights on Drake King and his World Heavyweight championship and will have a match with him at Grand Rampage.
(LC rolls in the ring after walking down the ramp and rises to his feet. LC is handed a microphone by Stephie Love. LC stares at Stephie Love for an uncomfortable amount of time as she scurries back to her seat and his music fades.)
Lethal Consequences: :dave: fuckin’, what is this shit?
(LC circles the ring, pointing at empty seats.)
Lethal Consequences: I told ya. I told all ya. This. This is the end result. This. Right. Here. Look at this freakin’ nonsense. It’s a conundrum. It’s a catastrophe. It’s a disaster. It’s the darkest timeline. It’s what I said it was when I was saying what it is going to be. I told you all, these women and their equality bullshit will be the death of EAW. Now, some guys who like chopped cheese with extra bat wings in it have given us the covert-19 virus that’s spread and fucked up my entire vibe. Madness. Fuckin’ madness. Look at what we have become. Kassidy Heart stole my National EXTREME elite championship of the world. Now? That non draw bimbo has led us to the apocalypse. This shit is dread. Like, look at this shit! I’m at a loss for words at this crap. It’s gay.
Lethal Consequence: But, I know. I know, the show must go on. Exactly. It’s gon’ go on and I’m going to show you what happens when I go on. Meaning, I’m going to be the one to put this show on my back like I’ve always done. It’s not even about the National Extreme Elite championship. It’s a pandemic going on that’s tearing the world apart. It’s a heavy weight laid on top of the World. No UFC, no NBA, no Avn awards. No NOTHING! All because Osamu Arcichida wanted to be Batman! It’s bullshit! And what have our leaders done? Donald Trump fumbled, Boris Johnson is sick, and Bernie Sanders doesn’t know how to run! Crap shoot, the lot of em’! The one I blame for all of this is that raggedy cunt Drake King. Ye. :dave: The World has a heavy weight crushing it with this virus and ya’ll World Heavyweight Champion has done nothing but play pin the dick on The Visual Prophet and failed at saving y’all from the shit that’s crushing us. The World Heavyweight champion is supposed to inspire the people. The World Heavyweight champion is not supposed to be playing out some SOAP OPERA fantasy with his tag team partner and his girlfriend. Newsflash, Drake! You worried about the tag belts when you should be worried about me!
Lethal Consequences: I was denied my destiny by Impact months ago. I was banned from even getting a World Heavyweight championship shot after that slag and that FUCKING BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER HRDO…robbed me of my chance. I was robbed and banned but that ban has been lifted. Thanks in part to TLA taking the belt off that bitch, and partly with Drake taking the belt off of him. Impact is forever a pussy but he was willing to do whatever it takes to keep those reignz rolling. Fucking wigger with the hard R. TLA, he was a valiant lil’ mexican with his Rico Suave lookin’ ass. But, DRAKE!? DRAAAAKE?!? He bitch made. He got that Sarah Bradford or whatever her name is throwing the pussy at him while he dodges like Keanu Reeves did bullets in the matrix. While he dodges Sarah and Sierra Supersluts, he keeps ending up 69’ing King Viz like his dick got the cure for covid-19 in it. It’s embarrassing. Don’t worry, shit will end soon. Very…soon. :dave: Grand Rampage coming, tell Drake stop running. How you fucking 6 feet tall but still ducking…King ain’t
(‘Oh No!!!!!’ by Grandson plays. Out steps World Heavyweight and Unified Tag Team champion Drake King. Drake has both his belts on both shoulders as he tilts his head and gives a skeptical stare at LC who glares right back.)
Jake Mercer: I’m so conflicted! That gospel was being spoken by big LC! Some classic LC ranting was just crashed by The Ponytailed God, CHAMP CHAMP, Drake King!
Flannery McCoy: The less we have to hear LC and his “MAKE EAW EXTREME AGAIN” type rants, the better the world will be.
Stew-O: Drake has heard enough and it’s clear he isn’t feeling what LC is saying.
(Drake reveals a microphone and begins speaking as he walks down the ramp.)
Drake King: You think I’m not focused on you and my World Heavyweight championship? That’s what you think, Lethal?
Lethal Consequences: :dave: I don’t think it, I know it. Bitch.
Drake King: Right. You think I’m just lost in my Tag Team title situation and just taking the fact that I am the reigning and defending World Heavyweight champion for granted? Really?
Lethal Consequences: Yes, bitch. I said that verbatim, bitch. Nagging lil’ fuck up shut the fuck up and get to ya’ point.
Drake King: Yea, you are more stupid then I ever realized.
(Drake enters the ring via the steel stairs and stands opposite LC.)
Drake King: I have held this title for a while now, I have been pretty clear with my motivations, and I even defended this belt in front of you just last week when I beat Ronan Malosi for another successful title defense. Before that, at Reckless Wiring, I shut down Osamu Arcichida and TLA to defend this belt yet you have the nerve to talk about me like I’m not the most dominant champion in EAW. Newsflash, I’m the only person in this company that’s holding TWO championships. I’m the World Heavyweight Champion which means I’m the best single’s wrestler alive. I am also the Unified Tag Team champion which means I’m the best tag team’s wrestler alive. By my calculations, I am the best wrestler alive. If that math doesn’t add up, just compare my double championship status to your no championship status. That should make it very clear which one of us is serious about this job and which one of us is just a loud mouth who’s been begging to blow his 100th championship match since 2011!
Lethal Consequences: I should slap the taste out of your mouth right here and right now.
Drake King: I wish you would try it. I wish you would try and swing on me because I’ll gladly end you right here right now where you stand your mouth full of denture having old fart. You disrespect Sierra Bradford again and I’ll curb stomp you into the earth.
Lethal Consequences: Lookie, your soft spot is exposed. You really like this bitch like she ain’t just a dime a dozen ring rat. News flash, kid. She is with you for that gold. LITERALLY! She dick rides you cause you World Champ but now that you got that Tag Strap, she is plotting. Same with that boy Viz. Ye. They both are acting like they care about you but the truth is they both snakes. Sierra is going to take that tag belt off you and Viz can cash in his crown prize thing and take that World title off you. It’s the plan, we all see it coming. You even see it coming but you are too much of a pussy to stop them. But don’t even fret, LC gon’ help you.
Drake King: Oh, you are going to help me, huh?
Lethal Consequences: Ye. I’ma help ya’ ass. I’m gonna take the World Heavyweight Championship from you and then all you gotta worry about is pleasing Vizzy or Sierra and not having to carry the HEAVY WEIGHT of the entire WORLD on ya’ shoulders no more. I’ll do that for you, Drake. You got a good couple months but you are not built for this lifestyle. You are not built to be World Champion and it’s obvious with how easily you’ve been distracted by your bitch and your boyfriend!
Drake King: You sound stupid. Like, you normally sound stupid. But, man do you sound EXTRA stupid right now. You do know that I am the Paragon of professional wrestling. Or do you not? I am the pillar of this industry. I am a titan and I have conquered every situation I’ve been in. I may be partners with Viz but I stand alone when it comes to the World Heavyweight Championship. Besides Viz promising he would not challenge me, I am not worried about nobody taking my championship away from me. Not him, not Imp, not Cage, not Chris, and ESPECIALLY not you!
Lethal Consequences: Paragon, Paratrooper, Pair of Pooper Scoopers. I don’t give no fuck about none of that. I just carry about that gold. That belt. That power. Ye, I want that. You can have the soap opera and the tag belt shit. I want the big gold one and I want to rip it out of your cold dead hands.
(Friend vs Friend’ by Company Flow plays as LC gives one last :dave: glare at Drake as Drake rolls his eyes. Lethal Consequences exits the ring as he pretends to hi five invisible fans as he circles the ring and keeps yelling curse words at Drake.)
Stew-O: LC seems fired up for this championship shot. A lot of animosity between these two as LC tries to use mind games to get inside the champion’s head.
Flannery McCoy: Drake holds his defense high but it’s obvious to everyone his relationships with The Visual Prophet and Sierra Bradford are haunting him whether he wants to admit it or not. To be teaming with a guy that was your rival and to become Unified Tag Team Champions is already a crazy situation. Add to that, Viz has an opportunity to cash in on any World Champion he would like after winning the King of Elite match.
Jake Mercer: Add even more, Sierra Bradford is his girlfriend. The love of his life, they really care about each other. She is in a tag team with Sarah Price and they want those tag belts Viz and Drake share.
Stew-O: With all that and a motivated and hungry LC lurking like a shark that smells blood, you can’t downplay Drake’s situation. If ever were a time for LC to regain his World Championship throne, this is as good as it can ever get!
(The scene ends with LC mocking Drake while Drake is disgusted at his antics.)
(The Camera fades to Stephie Love in the ring)
Stephie Love: The following triple-threat contest is scheduled for… ONE FALL!!
( The lights switch off before “Ricky” by Denzel Curry plays. After the pre-chorus runs through, the lights come back on to the chorus as W1LH3LM is seen shooting out of the curtains and hopping onto the stage. He nonchalantly riles up the crowd, smiling while marching down the ramp. He enters through the ropes and perches on the top turnbuckle, spreading his arms wide open )
Stephie Love: Introducing first! W1LH3LM!!!
Jake Mercer: He’s such a stud! Too bad his crowd isn’t here to cheer him up.
Flannery McCoy: Quite the athlete indeed! He brings a well-rounded arsenal to the ring and it’s true that his fans have taken to social media to show their support.
( ‘Masked Ball’ by Jocelyn Pook plays over the PA system as the arena goes totally black with a single spotlight going to the entrance where Dimo, sided by Z and K, begins walking towards the ring. )
Stephie Love: Introducing second, from
Jake Mercer: Now here is my pick to win this match! Mean as a pitbull and just as ugly!
Flannery McCoy: He is only as good as the company he keeps, and those folks are definitely up to no good.
( ‘I am Revenant’ by The Distillers hits. Kasey Kaos steps out onto the stage and makes her way down to the ring.)
Stephie Love: And introducing third, from London England, weighing in at 130lbs.. MISSSSS MAYHEMMMMMMM KASEYYYYYYYY KAOSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
Jake Mercer: What a little brat is Kasey Kaos. Why is she here though, doesn’t she see how tiny she is in this matchup??
Flannery McCoy: I would not underestimate this woman either. This matchup promises to be interesting, quite different sizes -and styles- are due to clash in the squared circle now.
( DING! DING! DING! )
Stew-O: AND HERE WE GO!! This Triple Threat Match Is Underway! W1LH3LM, Kasey and Dimo eyeing each other suspiciously, wondering who will pop off first.
Jake Mercer: Hey look at Kaos!
Stew-O: Kasey tries to hint towards a temporary alliance to take Dimo on, but W1LH3LM was not born yesterday and shows no trust towards his competitor especially since he faced her a few weeks ago in a chaotic ending leading to him losing! ! Miss Mayhem seems to take offense at his refusal and throws a quick kick to W1LH3LM’s midsection while he was peering towards Dimo who had fainted to move his way! W1LH3LM defends as best he can against Kasey Kaos’ well-measured strikes, save for an european uppercut that leaves him grabbing his jaw but Dimo stalks behind Kasey Kaos and flings her overhead with a powerful belly-to-back suplex! Down she goes hard and out of the equation for the time being!! Immediately the Russian brute starts wearing W1LH3LM further down with heavy pummels and Irish whips him across the canvas but before W1LH3LM has time to bounce, Kasey jumps on Dimo’s back and tries to apply a sleeper hold!!
Flannery McCoy: Kasey goes back in the offense!!
Stew-O: But she could not secure her grip on him! As Dimo shakes her off to the floor he could not dodge a solid shoulder block tackle from W1LH3LM that sends Dimo tripping over Miss Mayhem! She climbs to her feet and hurries another assault onto W1LH3LM who blocks an overhead punch and snaps back at his opponent, gaining control of the situation and pushing her back towards the center of the ring with a quick jab and a big chop! Dimo climbs back to his feet and grabs W1LH3LM to spin him around for a kick to his midsection and set him up for a swinging neckbreaker! While he is gloating over his fallen rival, he barely has time to brace himself for a DROPKICK RIGHT TO THE FACE!!! Kasey is getting fired up, determined to make her stand in this contest. She grabs Dimo by the back of the neck to pick him up, serving him a ferocious headbutt! Both are reeling from the impact, but Miss Mayhem serves him some forehead yet again, leaving Dimo a bit dazed and leaning against the ropes so she runs across the ring, bounces off the ropes but is stopped dead in her tracks by a vicious sidekick to the stomach!! Dimo picks her up and brings her down with a delayed fallaway slam! Kasey is sent tumbling off the apron, and W1LH3LM beats Dimo to his feet, grappling him with a clearcut advantage of leverage that maneuvers the Russian against the ropes.
Jake Mercer: Looks like there is some help for Dimo outside the ring!
Stew-O: Meanwhile outside the ring, Z takes advantage of the referee’s inattention to serve Kasey’s head a few vicious stomps and some cruel words that won’t be repeated by yours truly!
Jake Mercer: I can repeat them!
Flannery McCoy: Zip it Jake!
Stew-O: Z skips away to a safer space while the camera’s focus is put back in the ring. The two tussle but Dimo’s 100 pounds extra muscle mass prove to be a bit much for W1LH3LM to control and the Russian clears some space and attempts a running knee onto WlLH3LM who jukes him and launches a swift pele kick to the back of Dimo’s head! Emboldened, the babyface rolls over the big Russian and goes for a cover, from which Dimo strongly kicks out! Kasey stood back up, torn between the match at hand and vengeance upon Zinovia; sliding back in the ring she immediately goes for a small package pin on W1LH3LM that is kicked out of but it leaves Kaos with a window of opportunity while W1LH3LM scrambles up with a CHERRY BOMB! Dimo towers over her again, a scowl on his face for the troublesome tiny woman, and challenges her to attack him. With a wicked smile she starts prowling around him and, losing patience he lunges at her but her small and agile physique allows her to literally run between his legs and across the ring to whip herself in a crossbody but Dimo catches her in midair! Without wasting any time he serves her a heartfelt backbreaker that elicits a scream of pain from Kasey before she laughs insanely, holding her backside when Dimo tosses her to the floor. The Russian goliath grabs Kasey Kaos by the hair to pull her back up, into a big scoop slam to add insult to injury. The emptiness of the arena allows his voice to be heard as he told Kaos how ridiculously outmatched she was and that women shouldn’t be in a ring with real machines as himself. Defiantly she spits right at his face! So he raises a big hand to strike Kasey down but he is interrupted by Death By W1LH3LM! The maneuver successfully put a damper on Dimo’s mood but w1LH3LM may have hurt his own leg in the process due to Dimo’s weight.
Jake Mercer: COVER!!
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Flannery McCoy: Kasey breaks the count! Kaos saved the match at the last second and she seems to have noticed W1LH3LM knee buckle during his finisher! This is quickly registered by Kasey who immediately starts dishing out snap elbow drops on every one that is down! She only stops to drop some knees down on W1LH3LM’s weakened leg and wrenches it around with a leg lock from which W1LH3LM rolled out before reversing! His superior technical game would have left Kasey Kaos in a bad position but Dimo got up and thus W1LH3LM breaks his hold, judging his chances better standing up. They lock up but Dimo slaps his hands onto W1LH3LM’s shoulders and he picks him up for a DOUBLE HANDED CHOKESLAM down to the canvas with a great crash! Kasey bounces up and tries tackling Dimo down to no success! She gets gut wrenched and slammed like a sack of potatoes! Outside of the ring, Z and K are satisfied with Dimo’s ruthlessness at work and the mastermind and his wife applaud him before K speaks russian to Dimo to give him instructions which the referee cannot understand! With a bad grin on his face Dimo picks Kasey once more, and whips her with force to send her over the top ropes but Kasey hangs on! Dimo has a double take and rushes the ropes to knock Kasey Kaos off the apron but she dips, pulling the rope into a low bridge and Dimo topples over right on top of Z and K!!
Stew-O: I don’t think miss Zinovia is the right person to be catching a guy the size of Dimo! K did his best to push his wife out of the way but too little too late!
Seeing a perfect opportunity Kasey climbs to the top rope, looks at either opponents, psyches herself up with a slap to her head and a warcry before she TAKES A MAD DIVE ONTO DIMO WHO WAS GETTING UP!!!
Flannerty McCoy: DEATH OR GLORY! DEATH OR GLORY!! How daring is Kasey Kaos with this maneuver? It’s a car crash down here!
Stew-O: Dimo is down with Kasey to the outside of the ring, this could be W1LH3LM’s chance to seal the deal! He moves down to try and pick the bigger man up but revises himself due to his banged leg! Pushing him back in the ring instead following suit he gets to Dimo’s head grabbing it before flipping himself over it! 6IX CLUTCH!! THE BRIDGING ARM-TRIANGLE CHOKE IS LOCKED IN!! DIMO IS STRUGGLING TRYING TO RESIST THE URGE TO TAP THE MAT AND SUBMIT!!
Jake Mercer: IN COMES KASEY!!
Stew-O: Kasey runs to the ropes giving herself momentum and baseball slides into Dimo pushing him out of W1LH3LM’s grasp and outside of the ring! BUT LOOK!! KASEY GOES FOR HER OWN SUBMISSION MOVE SHE LOCKS IN THE KATA HA JIME!!! KAOS REIGNS ON W1LH3LM WHO DIDN’T EXPECT THIS!!
Flannery McCoy: NEITHER DID WE!!
Stew-O: W1LH3LM IS TRYING TO RESIST BUT… HE TAPS!!! THE REFEREE CALLS FOR THE BELL!!
( DING! DING! DING! )
( I am Revenant by The Distillers hits as the referee goes to raise KK’s hand signaling her as the victor.. )
Stephie Love: Here is your winner… KASEYYYY KAOOOOOSSS!!!
Jake Mercer: What a win by Miss Mayhem tonight!! What a way to take control and win!!
Flannery McCoy: She had a shot at getting back on track tonight following last week’s loss and she sure took it in spectacular fashion! Well deserved! Good Job Girl!!
(A recap plays of TLA’s journey since losing the World Heavyweight Championship including him announcing his intent to participate in the Grand Rampage match)
(The camera cuts to the empty Viejas Arena in San Diego, California. The commentary team is shown wearing face masks as they are sitting six feet apart from each other at the longest commentary table of all time.)
Stew-O: Well up next we have a great match for you all. Should be a real slobberknoc-
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” blasts across the speakers!!!)
Flannery McCoy: I guess that match will have to wait awhile because it seems we have an unexpected arrival.
Jake Mercer: The audacity! He’s not scheduled! This was not announced! Get him out of here! OUT! OUT! OUT!
(TLA makes his way to the ring in his lowrider as he slides into the ring.)
TLA: Yo what the hell? There’s nobody here?!?!? Did I come to the wrong wrestling show again?
(TLA looks over at the commentary table who yells at him about the situation with the coronavirus.)
TLA: Mind blown. The fuck they still making us work? That’s right y’all. I’m essential as fuck. Ain’t nobody keeping a vato from making that dinero. Imma hard working motherfucker out here. Gonna go all in on Serena’s fine ass later on if you know what I mean. Yo Serena if you out there I gotta apologize n shit for any offense. Ain’t no beef. Ain’t no hate. None at all. There is only room for love en mi corazón. For real chica you know it ain’t like that! You know all I got is mad luv and respek for yo fine ass. Even if you be making me eat it you know that after that imma be giving you them five star Yelp reviews. See when I say that I fuck with Serena Bennett I mean that shit. Figuratively and literally! No wait just figuratively. I get carried away sometimes. That’s something that Impact’s fat ass can’t relate to. Ain’t nobody can carry them mantitties he packing these days. But we gonna carry this match regardless of how much space he takes in the ring. Besides it is good practice for me for Grand Rampage. Cuz when I get in that ring with all that other filler you know that imma be taking out that basura with the quickness! Gotta free up space in this ring!
(TLA grabs a referee by the shirt and pretends like he is going to throw him over the top rope.)
Referee: Da hell?!?!?
TLA: Nah nah I ain’t gonna do that to you holmes. You know it’s all love.
Referee: You put your hands on an official! DISQUALIFICATION! RING THE BELL!!!
(The referee signals to the timekeeper who looks confused but rings the bell.)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stephie Love: Ummm… I’m not sure who the winner is but by disqualification the loser of this match is… T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! L!!!!!!!!!!!! A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TLA: FUCK! I was hoping to take a winning record into Grand Rampage! Now I got another L on my record!
Referee: Yes TLA. It is an official loss.
(The referee leaves the ring shaking his head.)
Referee: Shittin’ me.
TLA: Yo it don’t matter how many Ls you hand La Pantera Sexual cuz he always rises to the occasion! We finna rebound anoche against Serena Bennett and then we gonna rise even farther at that Grand Rampage! There’s gonna be an asswhipping for each member of the entire EAW roster waiting for them! We having that social gathering that the feds be arresting people for. Having that large ass gathering of 40 men and women in the same ring. We all gonna catch that coronavirus. We all about to get that sickness in. But that is the challenge that comes with being an EAW Elitist. I ain’t going to let no hating ass virus fuck with my road to Pain for Pride! Nah them microscopic homies are going down too! Drake King thinks he a big shot now. That he ain’t going to have to deal with my brown ass no more. Well he’s got another thing coming! But who is to say I will even challenge him after I win the Grand Rampage? Who is to say he will even still be champion at Pain for Pride. I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe you will be champion by then Jake.
Jake Mercer: I deserve it more than anyone else to be quite honest.
TLA: I’m sure you do buddy. I’m sure you do.
(Jake Mercer stands up on the long commentary table.)
Jake Mercer: If I was champion I wouldn’t have my reign flop like you! I would be champion for life!
TLA: Damn you feisty tonight. How the fuck you gonna step to me when you can’t even take a bitch slap from Flannery?
Jake Mercer: You don’t know her like I know her TLA. You don’t know the horrors! You don’t know just how strong her palm is!
Flannery McCoy: You gonna get a reminder real quick if you don’t sit your ass back down.
(Flannery McCoy presses a button on the long commentary table which automatically flips the table covering up sending Jake flying back into his chair.)
TLA: Ye that’s right. Best sit yo ass down. Ain’t nobody wanna fuck with the Baddest Hombre on the Planet. The facts are the facts. If I was a betting man I wouldn’t bet against TLA at Grand Rampage. Oh sure there are plenty of other great talents in that match. Got hombres like Rex McAllister, SOSA Henderson, Shawn Sturgis, Cage, and Terry Chambers. Even haters like Ahren Fournier and Charlie Marr. Nah for real they great too. They gonna get these manos tho. You know its gonna happen! Errybody knows that I got this shit locked down. This my casa and ain’t nobody getting in. If they come up on my porch imma blast they ass with my shotgun and tell these crazy ass kids to get the fuck off my property! This the oldhead’s turf now and we taking back what’s ours. Starting with my World Heavyweight Championship. Cuz my time ain’t up. Nah it’s not even close. I hope y’all ain’t sick of me yet cuz those few months I held that gold was just a preview of what’s to come!
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” hits as TLA is shown wandering into the empty stands to retrieve his stash under the seats. TLA has kept the good shit out there where nobody is allowed to go. Ain’t nobody finding that stash he is too sneaky for them to even try and snatch.)
Flannery McCoy: Well TLA has come very close in the past to winning the Grand Rampage. Could this be the year he finally does it? Find out next week live on FPV!
Jake Mercer: All you neckbeards are home alone in your mom’s basements all quarantined up. Not like you have anything better to do.
Stew-O: We really appreciate you continuing to support EAW during this time. Just ignore Jake and enjoy the show!
(The camera cuts to a commercial for “An Exploration of Racism” documentary on the EAW Network. Join our crew as we investigate the life of Kensingten Calhoun-Astor and uncover the deep ties this EAW Elitist has to some of the country’s most criminal hate organizations.)
(Dynasty comes back on air to Stephie Love)
Stephie Love: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!
Stephie Love: Introducing first…
(‘Hell on Heels’ by Pistol Annies begins to play and Kensingten Calhoun-Astor walks out to the entrance ramp carrying her Chanel bag. She walks out with her platform boots distinctively clonking against the entrance ramp. She smiles and blows a kiss at Jake Mercer before entering the ring.)
Jake Mercer: Well two weeks ago we saw this woman cheat to pick up a win over the bitch-lover himself, Hollywood SOSA Henderson. This week, she looks to capitalize on that.
Flannery McCoy: Isn’t it the bitches who love SOSA?
Jake Mercer: Do you really have to do this? I mean for the love of God, of course the bitches love SOSA! It’s common sen-
Stephie Love: She is from Savannah, Georgia, weighing in at 143 pounds, KENSINGTON CALHOUN-ASTOOOOOOOOOOORRR!!
(‘Gatti’ by Pop Smoke begins to play and Andre Walker struts out to the entrance ramp, taking off a pair of ray-ban sunglasses. He looks at Kensington in the ring, shakes his head, and puts the sunglasses back on before he struts confidently to the ring.)
Stephie Love: Her opponent, from New York, New York! Weighing in at 185 pounds, THE NOTORIOUS… ANDRE WALKERRRRRRRR!!
Jake Mercer: Any relation to The Notorious B.I.G.? I’m going to have to do some research on this.
(Jake Mercer begins furiously typing away on his iPhone)
Flannery McCoy: Last week Andre Walker picked up an impressive win in action against fellow up-and-comer Kasey Kaos in his debut. Now, though, he has a big test in Kensingten Calhoun-Astor.
Stew-O: No doubt. She has shown her willingness to get the job done by skirting the rules and he’s going to have to be looking out for that throughout this match.
DING! DING! DING!
Stew-O: We’re underway here and Kensingten wastes NO TIME in taking the fight to Andre Walker, immediately plowing him in the face with a haymaker from nowhere. Kensingten backs Walker into a corner now. And she makes a noise you could hear from isolation in China with a brutal knife-edge chop. Kensingten follows it up with another one. That’s gotta sting!
Flannery McCoy: Kensingten is deliberate with those knife-edge chops and she backs up into the opposite corner. Kensingten charges toward Walker and CONNECTS with a huge back-elbow which sends Walker reeling to the other side of the ring. Kensingten charges once again, looking for a lariat to send him to the outside!
Jake Mercer: A BIG COUNTER FROM WALKER! He back-drops Kensingten to the outside, where she falls flat onto the floor. Walker sees the advantage and backs up… HE CHARGES!!!
Stew-O: TOPE CON HILO! Walker crashes down onto Kensingten to the outside and the referee is now admonishing both competitors, ordering them back into the ring. It looks like Walker is complying. He lifts Kensingten up and rolls her back into he ring, quickly following her. He hooks the leg!
Flannery McCoy: A quick kickout by Kensingten and she tries rolling out of the way from Walker to get her bearings. But the rookie isn’t letting up as he’s already back on his feet to follow. Walker looks to pick Kensingten back to her feet, but she sees it coming, and quickly sweeps the leg of Walker! Kensingten now has a hold of that leg and she goes to the outside once again. She drags Walker over to the turnbuckle post. AND SHE SLAMS THE LEFT LEG OF WALKER HARD INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!!
Jake Mercer: You know, I might think she is a jezebel for what she did to SOSA, but this is smart. Targeting the leg of Walker will ensure that he doesn’t use his agility to his advantage and run circles around her in this match.
Stew-O: It will be to Kensingten’s advantage to keep this match grounded, and, OH! She slams the left leg into the turnbuckle once again. Kensingten grabs ahold of Walker’s other leg… AND SHE’S NOW GOT THE FiGURE-FOUR LOCKED IN AROUND THE TURNBUCKLE POST! THE SLOW YOUR ROLL IS ALREADY LOCKED IN!!!
Referee: (off mic) ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIV-
Jake Mercer: She lets go just in the knick of time. Kensingten is intelligent and she has shown her intelligence right here. This is methodical. She didn’t get the DQ here, she is in it to win.
Flannery McCoy: Well Walker is holding that left leg now, writhing in pain, and Kensingten is now back in the ring with a smile on her face.
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: (off mic) Bless your little heart!
Stew-O: Kensingten begins immediately stomping the hell out of Andre Walker’s left leg! He’s rolling to the ropes, trying to find an escape, but she is absolutely relentless in her assault on that leg. Kensingten drags Walker to the middle of the ring and locks in a one-legged Boston crab. Walker is screaming out in pain as he seeks to just touch the bottom rope, in hopes that she’ll release the hold.
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: (off mic) TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP OUT!
Flannery McCoy: Walker looks desperate, his knee is clearly hurting him, this submission move could easily end this match early for Walker and stamp out his momentum!
Stew-O: Walker realizes this! Walker bridges up and spins on the ground, knocking Kensingten into the ropes, breaking the hold. But she’s right back on the attack, charging Walker as he’s still on the mat. BUT WALKER KICKS HER RIGHT IN THE MOUTH FROM THE GROUND! Walker quickly rolls to the ropes, pulling himself to his feet. He realizes he needs to capitalize quickly. Kensingten shakes off the kick and charges Walker once again, but he rolls out of the way. Walker snaps back to his feet and stumbles, that left knee is clearly in a world of hurt. Kensingten swings at Walker, but he ducks. Kensingten throws another haymaker, but Walker is able to get out of the way again. Kensingten is wildly throwing punches, and she goes for one more! But Walker catches her arm, pulls her in. STANDING SPANISH FLY CONNECTS TO KENSINGTEN CALHOUN-ASTOR! What amazing agility and quick-thinking offense here from Walker.
Jake Mercer: Impressive? Maybe! But he’s working with one leg here. Kensingten still has a big advantage if she can get back on offense!
Flannery McCoy: Walker is back to his feet slowly. He’s not going for the pin, perhaps a mistake from the newcomer. Walker looks to the top rope and back at Kensingten. Walker looks to the top rope once again, but clutches that knee. I think he’s deciding against going to the top, in fear it could do more damage to his knee. Walker picks Kensingten up by her hair and pulls her close to his chest. Walker puts Kensingten’s head between his legs, it looks like he might be going for-
Jake Mercer: KENSINGTEN WITH A HUGE FEAT OF STRENGTH BACK-BODY DROP ON WAL-
Stew-O: NO! WALKER LANDS ON HIS FEET! Walker stumbles forward, clutching that leg. But I think it’s given Kensingten time to recover here. Kensingten does a handstand, wraps her legs around the neck of Walker, and brings him right down on his head! WOW!!!
Flannery McCoy: Amazing strength from Kensingten, using those strong legs to bring Walker down. Kensingten snaps back to her feet and grabs Walker by those dreadlocks, bringing him back to his vertical base. AND SHE SMACKS HIM ACROSS THE FACE! Walker stumbles back from that smack into the ropes and bounces back toward Kensingten… SOUTHERN SWAG SHOT! SHE CONNECTS WITH THE HUGE TKO PUNCH! I THINK SHE KNOCKED WALKER’S LIGHTS OUT! THIS MATCH IS OVER!!!!!!
Stew-O: She drops down for the pin!
Jake Mercer: THIS MATCH ISN’T OVER! LOOK! HIS LEFT LEG IS UNDER THE ROPE! AND KENSINGTEN IS BESIDE HERSELF!
Kensingten Calhoun-Astor: (off mic) AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Flannery McCoy: Kensingten works herself back to her feet and grabs ahold of that left leg once again. Oh-
Stew-O: Walker springs his leg back and kicks Kensingten right off of him, sending her flying back toward the turnbuckle. She hits her head HARD on that top turnbuckle and goes down to the mat. Kensingten is trying to shake that off, but the back of her head snapped forward after hitting that turnbuckle.
Jake Mercer: Walker is getting his bearings back after that huge swag shot. Hey kid, it could be worse, it could be a brick hidden inside a Chanel bag!
Flannery McCoy: Walker is able to get back to his feet, though. He bends down to pick up Kensingten… OH!!!!! KENSINGTEN GRABS AHOLD OF THE ARM OF WALKER AND LOOKS FOR ‘SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT’ — THAT KIMURA LOCK! IF SHE LOCKS IT IN, THIS MATCH IS AS GOOD AS OVER!!!!
Stew-O: Walker is struggling, looking for a way out. She doesn’t have the kimura fully locked in yet! WALKER IS DEAD-LIFTING KENSINGTEN FROM THE GROUND! WALKER HAS HER UP, SHE’S HANGING ONTO THAT ARM FOR DEAR LIFE!!!
Jake Mercer: And he crashes her down into the turnbuckle to break the hold! Kensingten stays on her feet, stumbling forward toward Walker. Walker quickly takes advantage…..
Flannery McCoy: FATAL FINALE!! WALKER HITS THAT BRUTAL FiNISHIING MANUEVER AND PLANTS KENSINGTEN RIGHT ON HER FACE! WALKER FLIPS HER OVER… IS THIS IT?!?!?!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Gatti” by Pop Smoke plays as Andre Walker has his hand raised in victory)
Jake Mercer: Wow!
Flannery McCoy: What an impressive showing from Dre Walker. He came out here and put on a hell of a fight against Kensingten, who refused to back down the entire fight. Walker is still clutching that left knee of his, I hope he’s okay. This young man has a bright future ahead of him, surely, as this victory makes a statement that he means business.
Stew-O: To avoid any tricks up the sleeve of Kensingten tonight was impressive. Walker picks up another victory, building off of his big debut last week, and it looks likely he will continue this impressive streak if he stays on the same path.
Jake Mercer: I’m not sure if he’s ‘notorious’ yet, but if he can continue picking up victories like tonight, it will be no time until that rings true.
(A recap of last weeks main event match between Drake King and Ronan Malosi plays ending with Drake King holding up the title high)
(The scene opens up back with a shot of the ring as we see the ring set up with the infamous desk, TV monitor, a larger than normal amount of chairs, and two potted plants as ‘Come On’ by Waterproof Blonde plays. Out walks Ronan Malosi, wearing a terribly fitted suit that desperately needs to be tapered. Ronan smirks on stage as he waves to the nonexistent fans. Ronan gives a thumbs up to the camera and a wink before sprinting down the ramp and sliding in the ring.)
Stephie Love: Ladies and Gentlemen…Welcome to…HOT TAKES WITH RONAN MALOSI…here is your host…ROOOONAAAAAN MAAAALOOOOSI!!!!!!
(Ronan snatches the microphone, mushes Stephie Love, and kicks her out the ring.)
Ronan Malosi: Alright, beat it! Loser!
Stew-O: How rude! I hope Stephie is okay, what a push by Ronan.
Flannery McCoy: Even without fans in the building I can feel every fan watching at home boo this man.
Jake Mercer: I mean, it’s not Hot Takes with Stephie Love! She needs to stay out of Ronan’s way!
Ronan Malosi: Anyway…WELCOME! Empty Arena! YEAH! I have a Hot Take right out of the gate. HOT TAKE!!!! No fans = better shows. Look at last week! No fans showed up and I, Ronan Malosi, got a one on one shot at the World Heavyweight Championship! Slight editor’s note, I did not win. But, I did not lose REALLY if you think about it. I mean, before I created this talk show by myself without any EAW influence or help whatsoever, I was so low on the totem pole here. I was going through anger issues, I even used to get “QUIT, RONAN” chants from fickle wrestling fans that don’t know shit about how this business works. Now? Now, look at me! Hot Takes with Ronan Malosi is officially the best Talk Show in EAW HISTORY! I am now officially a MAIN EVENTER after I wrestled my first in MANY World Championship matches. I took Drake King to a limit that TLA and Osamu Arcichida never could have taken him. And, now…I have a new goal. I don’t want to end up like some of these elitists that get title shots after title shots without earning a single one. Nope! I’m a man with more honor than everybody else. You see, I plan on doing something few people have been able to do and that includes Drake King. I will win this year’s GRAND RAMPAGE MATCH! I will win it and I will go on to main event Pain for Pride and become WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Ha-a-HA!
Flannery McCoy: I really fucking hate this man and his Hot Takes.
Jake Mercer: My god, he is so bold! So brave! So incredible! Let’s go Ronan!
Ronan Malosi: Speaking of the Grand Rampage, HOT TAKE!!!! I am going to name the most underrated Grand Rampage winners of all time! If you expect me to mention that overrated and injury prone cunt Jamie O’Hara then kick rocks and kill yourself. No, it’s all about the GAWD LEVEL ELITIST that have been forgotten or undervalued over the past few seasons. Number one on the list of underrated Grand Rampage winners is…CARLOS ROSSO! He defied all odds and heroically won the 2017 Grand Rampage and also won the Answers World Championship at the same time!
Flannery McCoy: Didn’t he quit a month later after Scott Diamond kicked his ass?
Ronan Malosi: Man, what a legend! Screw Ron Bank$, we need a guy like that running shit! Another underrated Grand Rampage winner comes from the 2012 and his name is…Chris Hessian!
Jake Mercer: Hesitating Hessian is his Indie nickname.
Flannery McCoy: He also quit, didn’t he? This guy really is a moron if he thinks
Jake Mercer: SHUT UP FLAN! RONAN IS A GENIUS!!!!!
Stew-O: Ronan is showing a pattern if I’m paying attention which I barely am doing.
Ronan Malosi: And the third most underrated Grand Rampage winner is the all time great legend…Johnny Ventura! A man who won the Grand Rampage in 2013 and all three of these elitists have inspired me to join them and become a winner of the Grand Rampage match myself. Something I promise to do this season and something that will make me the NEW most underrated Grand Rampage winner of all time! That’s not even a Hot Take, it’s a fact soon to be understood by everyone everywhere!
Flannery McCoy: Johnny Ventura is quite possibly the biggest joke in EAW history. His post Grand Rampage run was the worst one of them all!
Ronan Malosi: But, in order for me to join these elitists…I have to eliminate other elitists. How about we bring some of these other elitists out now? I have extended an invitation for all the current entrants in the Grand Rampage to come out and join me on my show and despite being rejected by overrated guys like SOSA Henderson, TLA, and Diamond Cage…I’d like to go on a ledge and say one more HOT TAKE!!! These men and women that are about to join this ring are better then SOSA, Cage, and TLA ever could be! Let me introduce…Kasey Kaos, Angel De Plata Jr, Lisa Wren, Andre Walker, Mike Gambino, Melissa O’Malley, Dimo, Korey Gaines, and Osamu Arichida!
(The Dynasty theme music plays, out walks each and every man or woman Ronan named as they walk with at least six feet distance between one another towards the ring.)
Stew-O: A gang of Dynasty’s entrants into this year’s Grand Rampage match head to the ring as all those chairs set up actually make sense now.
Jake Mercer: What you think it was set up like that for? Thought we were going to have a town hall meeting? A book club soiree?
Flannery McCoy: How he got all these elitist to agree to appear on this god awful talk show will be a mystery to me.
Stew-O: Kasey, Osamu, Mike, Lisa, Angel, Melissa, Dimo, Gaines, and Walker make their way into the ring as they all manage to sit in stools in the ring as Ronan claps obnoxiously at them all.
Ronan Malosi: Welcome, all you low card and mid card stars! This is HOT TAKES WITH RONAN-
Lisa Wren: Cut the crap, boy!
Kasey Kaos: You are full of crap, Ronan! Seriously! Half of this ring can and has kicked your ass already. You cannot be serious.
Ronan Malosi: Pardon?
Kasey Kaos: Most of the people here already appeared on this terrible show in the past. Me, Mellisa, Lisa, Korey, SOSA…
Andre Walker: Once again, I am not fuckin’ SOSA Henderson. Damn, you white bitches all blind or something?
Lisa Wren: If we’re being honest, I’m pretty sure Kensingten Calhoun-Astor called me Astraea Jordan.
Kasey Kaos: She doesn’t even work here no more!
Ronan Malosi: Ok, you idiots are derailing my show! Let’s get back to my Hot-
Lisa Wren: Nah, shut the hell up no, Roni! You ignorant imbecile! We already regret coming out here for this stupid show. Don’t try to talk holier than thou and act like because you got a main event match last week that you matter more than any of us.
Ronan Malosi: Bu-But I am better than all of you. I really am, that’s what the whole Main Event Malosi name is all about!
Melissa O’Malley: You main evented one match and now you Main Event Malosi? Kiss my ass!
Kasey Kaos: Mine too!
Dimo: Yes, my ass kissed as well.
Lisa Wren: Yeah, we are not here for that foolishness you loud mouth, hot garbage take spewing, monkey in a suit.
Ronan Malosi: Monkey in a suit? This suit was thrifted from the same store Macklemore rapped about! This is the same suit Carmelo Anthony was drafted in in the 2003 NBA draft! I am wearing history because I MAKE history!
Osamu Arcichida: Carmelo was a third draft pick, you won’t even be drafted on TV this next season.
Andre Walker: That’s if his bum ass even still here by the time of the draft!
Lisa Wren: FAX!
Ronan Malosi: Look, you guys are ruining my show! Can’t take you people no where!
Andre Walker: Aye, bitch! What you mean “you people”!
Ronan Malosi: You know what I meant! You all should be on Battleground or Fight Grid but instead I’ve given you a platform to speak and look at this! All you are doing is wasting time and ruining my damn show! Back me up, Mike! We go way back! Remember when we almost formed a team and we were cool with Eric Havoc?!
Mike Gambino: I want to agree with you but all these folks have a point. You have one hell of an ego and for no justifiable reason. For pete’s sake, you act like losing to Drake King was as good if not better than beating him. You have the same amount of championship wins as everyone in this ring this past year or so. You need to humble yourself, Ronan.
Ronan Malosi: Humble myself? For what? For you insecure bozos!? I think that’s ridiculous and I expected more from you, Mike. That’s not just with this argument. I mean career wise, I EXPECTED MORE FROM YOU!
Mike Gambino: Alright now, Malosi. Watch who the hell you talk to like that.
Ronan Malosi: Don’t make me start shooting because if I start shooting, I’ll turn this ring into Columbine. I’ll have Andre and Lisa having flashbacks of their hood and Angel De Plata having nightmares of the Mexican Cartel shredding his hometown with assault rifles! I’m a bad, bad man!
Kasey Kaos: This man has lost his mind.
Lisa Wren: I will slap the fire out of you, Ronan!
Andre Walker: Not before I get the chance to do it first!
Ronan Malosi: EVERYBODY SETTLE DOWN BEFORE MAIN EVENT MALOSI KICKS YOU OFF HIS EMMY NOMINATED TALK SHOW!
Osamu Arcichida: Emmy nominated?
Melissa O’Malley: The Emmys haven’t even happened yet.
Korey Gaines: Here Ronan goes lying again!
Dimo: What is Emmy? I have plenty of enemies. K, Z, and Dimo kill all enemies!
Ronan Malosi: I said Emmy! E-M-M-Y! Emmy! Yeah, the nominations haven’t been announced quite yet but with how high ratings are for my show and how incredible I am as a host, it’s obvious I will win one. I’m the superior host, the superior draw, and after I win the Grand Rampage…I’ll be the superior Elitist!
Angel De Plata Jr: Yeah, save the superiority complex for your shrink, ok? Besides, didn’t you get beat badly in that one World title match? Why are you even bragging like you had a shot of beating Drake King? From social media posts to this stupid talk show, you always run your mouth only for someone better than you to come along to close it.
Ronan Malosi: Hold the phones, pump your brakes, order in the fucking court!
(Andre Walker, Mike Gambino, Dimo, and the others laugh as Angel dissed Ronan.)
Ronan Malosi: You got a lot of nerve, Angel. First off, regardless of the outcome, I am officially a main event wrestler now. You can call me MAIN EVENT MALOSI as far as I am concerned. Yes, I lost. I lost to Drake King and narrowingly lost the World Heavyweight Championship that is soon to be mine but here is the difference between me and you a lot. I am an important person in EAW. Hot Takes with Ronan Malosi is the anchor that makes every episode it appears on Dynasty rise higher than all other programming in the ratings. I created something none of you was smart enough or entertaining enough to create. That’s just one of the millions of ways I am superior to you guys and with that plus my massive frame and top tier wrestling ability, I will conquer you all at The Grand Rampage FPV.
Korey Gaines: Give us a break, Ronan!
(Korey stands as he leans on Ronan’s desk.)
Korey Gaines: You think you REALLY have a shot in that Grand Rampage match? You honestly think you are better than any of us in this ring? You were shitting your pants when you got beat by Serena Bennett weeks ago and now you think you will be the guy that beats all of us, Rex McCallister, TLA, Cage, and all the surprise entrants in that battle royal? Are you smoking the same shit Justin Windgate has been smoking or are you just that slow mentally?
Andre Walker: Yea, got to agree with the skating bitch that tweets too much.
Korey Gaines: Watch your mouth, J.Cole in tights.
Andre Walker: Look, bro. I low key agree with you. I ain’t even been here that long and even I can see this Ronan scrub is delusional. This hairy shoulder having fool is crazy but I can’t blame him for having loft goals. I got lofty goals myself. I think he’s stupid for thinking he can win but I also think I’m crazy enough to believe I can win. Cause, to be honest, I do think I can win!
Kasey Kaos: Wait, you? You think you can win the Grand Rampage? What is going on with these men? DeAndre Walker
Andre Walker: My name is just Andre.
Kasey Kaos: Well, JUST ANDRE, you are out of your mind. You men are all the same. None of you have a shot at winning that match. Especially with a woman as incredible as me in that match.
Korey Gaines: First off, why haven’t you answered my dms? You too, Lisa!
Lisa Wren: Oh my god, stop tweeting!
Korey Gaines: Secondly, you rookies are far too confident to be speaking so boldly. I have been here longer than everyone in this ring…
Osamu Arichida: Except for me…
Korey Gaines: Well, yeah. Minus Osamu, I have more experience in EAW than all of you. To be honest, I could have pulled a SOSA, Cage, and TLA and not even come out here and listen to all you rookies rant about how because you are confident you have a shot in this match. Far as I know, nobody that’s brand spanking new has won the Grand Rampage and become World champion. But, I think I have the experience and motivation to overcome the daunting odds and do what none of you can.
Lisa Wren: Do you even have a winning record? What type of nonsense is all of this?
Osamu Arcichida: You all can scream over each other until your vocal cords are sore. You can tell yourself that this is your year, you can praise the new training regimen you are on, whatever trendy diet you partake in, or even how you are the only one qualified to win but it will all be just a bunch of lies sprinkled onto a pile of bullshit. I am the orchestrator, I am the only one in this ring that legitimately had a shot at Drake King and almost became World Champion. Ronan was a filler title defense and the fact that he used that one match as the crutch to claim he is now a main eventer is laughable. In any world where any of you puny elitists actually won the Grand Rampage, I promise you EAW would have to have an outbreak of covid-19 and everyone would have to be fatally ill for any of you to win. With that said, I will do whatever it takes to come out on top and not a single person here in this ring now or that plans on entering that match will deter me from getting back into the World championship picture!
Dimo: All of these people know nothing. I am here to show the world the power of K, Z, and Dimo. We are the force this industry needs to rejuvenate it. We are the power that will clutch the very existence of professional wrestling in our hands. We…are…here!
Melissa O’Malley: …
Lisa Wren: …
Korey Gaines: …
Andre Walker: …
Angel De Plata Jr: …
Kasey Kaos: …
Osamu Arcichida: …
Mike Gambino …
Ronan Malosi: I-I have never seen you wrestle. I don’t know who K or Z is or are. This was the first time any of us ever heard you talk. But…I think…and this may be a HOT TAKE…YOU WILL BE IN THE FINAL TWO OF GRAND RAMPAGE WITH ME, DIMO! YOU AND MAIN EVENT MALOSI WILL OUTLAST ALL THESE FUCKING JOBBERS AND HAVE A CLASSIC ONE ON ONE FIGHT TO DECIDE WHO WILL WIN THE GRAND RAMPAGE! IT WILL BE THE MOST EPIC AND-
Stew-O: Superkick by Korey Gaines knocks Ronan out of his chair and desk as all the elitists rise and Ronan tumbles to the ground! All nine elitists destroy Ronan’s set and leave the ring bare! Lisa, Melissa, Kasey, Osamu, Korey, Andre, Dimo, Mike, and Angel all surround Ronan as he crawls to the middle of the ring.
Jake Mercer: OH MY GOD! THEY ARE STARING DOWN MAIN EVENT MALOSI AS RONAN REALIZES WHAT’S HAPPENING!
Ronan Malosi: Oh…hey…I was just talking and joking and…c’mon guys! Think of the ratings we are going to get if you let me stand, we raise our hands, and just…I don’t know…cheer each other on! Think of how hype the fans at home would be to show unity in this scary pandemic day! We can be an example to the world that, no matter if you black, white, mexican, a girl, a goth girl, a bat eating asian, whatever Dimo is, or a MAIN EVENTER LIKE ME…WE CAN RISE ABOVE THE HATE AND-!!!!
Flannery McCoy: THEY ALL RUSH RONAN! All 9 of the men and women that were brought here as guests for Ronan’s talk show are stomping out Malosi, putting the boots all over him! They maul him, surrounding his body, as all of them drag Ronan to his feet!
Stew-O: Looks like Ronan’s Hot Takes have gotten him in trouble!
Flannery McCoy: Kasey and Lisa work together and SLAM Malosi with a double suplex! Andre and Mike pick him back up and DOUBLE DDT TO RONAN AS HE IS DOWN AGAIN! Osamu and Korey drag him off the mat and DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE FLOORS HIM ONCE MORE! Angel and Melissa have him on his feet once more and DOUBLE DROPKICK lays Ronan flat one last time! WAIT!
Stew-O: Dimo! Dimo lifts Ronan off the ground, wraps both hands around his neck, lifts him in the air, DOUBLE HANDED CHOKESLAM! Ronan is out of it! Ronan Malosi is out cold as all those elitists surround his body!
Jake Mercer: NOT THIS WAY! HE DOES NOT DESERVE THIS! NO! GOD! NOT THE MOST UNDERRATED ELITIST ALIVE TODAY!
Stew-O: The assault continues as all 9 elitist HOIST RONAN IN THE AIR! THEY WALK AND CARRY RONAN LIKE A BROKEN MESSIAH BEFORE…TOSSING HIM HIGH IN THE AIR AND OVER THE TOP ROPE! RONAN SLAMS BADLY RINGSIDE AS HE CURLS UP IN THE FETAL POSITION AND IS ROLLING AROUND IN PAIN!
Flannery McCoy: These men and women have had enough of Ronan and his terrible Hot Takes as WOW!
Jake Mercer: Melissa swings on Korey Gaines! Andre Walker and Lisa Wren begin brawling! Mike Gambino and Osamu are battling! Kasey Kaos and Angel De Plata begin jumping Dimo! All these men and women are now beating the hell out of one another!
Stew-O: Dimo pushes Angel and Kasey out of his way and roars as he runs at Korey Gaines and Melissa O’Malley. THEY DUCK! DIMO GOES FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE AND OUT OF THE RING! Melissa and Korey are near the ropes and turn around as ANGEL DE PLATA RUNS OVER AND CLOTHESLINES THEM BOTH OUT OF THE RING OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Flannery McCoy: Ronan’s out, Dimo’s out, Korey Gaines and Melissa O’Malley are out!
Stew-O: Angel turns and sees Mike Gambino and Osamu! Angel runs towards them BAM! ANDRE WALKER CUTS HIM OFF WITH A STIFF LARIAT AS HE NEARLY TAKES HIS HEAD OFF! Andre brings him to his feet, grabs the back of his mask, and irish whips him to the ropes as LISA WREN CATCHES HIM AND HELPS THROW HIM OUT OF THE RING! Angel is out of the ring!
Flannery McCoy: BEHIND HER!
Stew-O: KASEY KAOS! KASEY RUSHES AND LIFTS LISA OFF OF HER FEET AND TOSSES HER OUT OF THE RING AS SHE LANDS RIGHT ONTO ANGEL DE PLATA JR! Mike Gambino is working over Osamu in the corner as he steps back before charging at Arcichida…NO! Arcichida grabs him, NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX SENDS HIM OUT OF THE RING!
Jake Mercer: Ronan, Dimo, Korey, Melissa, Lisa, Angel, and Mike are ring sided! In the ring stands Osamu, Andre, and Kasey!
Flannery McCoy: Kasey Kaos, Andre Walker, and Osamu Arcichida rush eachother! A brawl ensues! Andre is pummeling Osamu! Osamu retaliates and clocks Andre with an elbow! Kasey responds with a kick to Osamu! Osamu rebounds with a slap to Kasey and she staggers back. Andre Walker runs in and DROPKICK SENDS OSAMU FLYING! Kasey sees this and watches Osamu get to his feet and she charges. CLOTHESLINE SENDS OSAMU OVER THE TOP ROPE AS ALL THE ELITIST RINGSIDE GATHER TO THAT SIDE OF THE RING AND BEGIN BRAWLING! Kasey stands but Andre has the upper hand as he charges her…
Stew-O: ANDRE GOES FOR ANOTHER LARIAT
Jake Mercer: NO!
Flannery McCoy: KASEY KAOS CATCHES ANDRE WALKER AND BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEXES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE, OUT OF THE RING, AND HE SENTON SPLASHES ONTO ALL THE ELITIST RINGSIDE! ANDRE WALKER CRUSHES DIMO, OSAMU, ANGEL, LISA, MIKE, MELISSA, KOREY, AND RONAN AS KASEY IS ALONE STANDING IN THE RING!
Stew-O: It’s Grand Rampage time and what a preview of what could happen at EAW’s annual FPV! 10 of what is said to be one of the biggest and star studded battle royals ever just showed you how chaotic a match like this can and will be! Kasey Kaos is the last one standing now…but who will be the last one standing when the REAL match happens?!?
(We get a shot of all the elitist ring side laid out with Ronan being crushed by most of them. We get one more image of Kasey Kaos breathing heavy in the ring on her knees as she is the last one we see in the ring before we cut to a commercial break.)
(Camera pans to ring as we see Stephie Love preparing to announce the next contest)
(‘Middle Fingers’ By MISSIO plays throughout the arena as Korey Gaines begins to come down to the ring prepared for his match and focused as he makes his way down the ramp and inside the ring)
Stephie Love: The following contest… IS SET FOR ONE FALL!!! First… From Oklahoma City, Oklahoma! Weighing in tonight at 170 Pounds!!!…. “The AERIAL WONDER” KOOORREEEEEYYYY GAAAAINNNEEEES…!!
Stew-O: Gaines has been having impressive showing after impressive showing on Dynasty! And tonight he has another tough test ahead of him as he takes on SOSA Henderson!
(‘Earned It’ By Chief Keef begins to play as SOSA Henderson confidently struts his way through the curtain and begins walking down the ramp)
Stephie Love: Introducing his opponent… Residing in Hollywood, California! Weighing in at 191 Pounds..!!! “BULLETPROOF” SOSSSAAAAAAA HENDERSONNNN!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: This match is big, around this time gaining momentum for the Grand Rampage is EXTREMELY crucial and these two talented individuals are looking to grab that momentum as they quickly lock up for a collar and elbow tie-up! SOSA quickly gaining strong side control of Gaines! But Gaines backing himself up before he leans back to the ropes for momentum and forces SOSA off of him as SOSA goes running off the ropes! SOSA runs forward for a shoulder block! Knocking down Gaines. SOSA confidently looking down at Gaines as SOSA runs again, Gaines pops up before quickly dropping down slapping the canvas as SOSA hurdles over him! Gaines rising up as SOSA runs again! GAINES LEAPFROGS OVER SOSA!! SOSA stopping himself as he turns around and runs towards Gaines. AS GAINES QUICKLY SLAMS SOSA DOWN TO THE CANVAS WITH A DEEP ARM DRAG!!! SOSA rising up quickly as Gaines this time delivers an open-handed chop to the incoming SOSA! SOSA definitely feeling that as Gaines looks to deliver another big open-handed chop to SOSA! SOSA reeling from those chops to his sternum!
Jake Mercer: SOSA backing away as Gaines follows but SOSA driving his elbow back into the face of Gaines! Gaines backed up as SOSA comes forward with a European uppercut to the jaw of Gaines! SOSA quickly grabbing Gaines as he quickly applies a front face lock and delivers a beautiful snap suplex! SOSA isn’t done as he rises up with Gaines in his grasp once more and he delivers ANOTHER SNAP SUPLEX! Wait! Gaines manages to block using his inside leg as he quickly fires away strikes at the mid-section of SOSA as he manages to snag away from being hit with another snap suplex! Gaines backing himself up with SOSA in his grasp! AS HE LIFTS SOSA FOR A SUPLEX!!! BUT BOTH MEN GO FALLING OUTSIDE OF THE RING!!!! Landing and crashing hard onto the outside floor! Both men down but not for long as they stir up to their feet! And go right after each other! SOSA grabbing Gaines! But Gaines WITH A PALM STRIKE TO THE FACE OF SOSA HENDERSON!!! What a strike to the face! Gaines quickly with a boot to the mid-section of SOSA! He lifts him in a powerbomb position! GAINES!! POWERBOMB’S SOSA HENDERSON ONTO THE RING APRON!!! SOSA DROPS DOWN TO THE FLOOR!!! GAINES QUICKLY MAKING HIS WAY INSIDE THE RING AS HE TELLS THE REFEREE TO COUNT!!
(Replay shows Gaines delivering an apron powerbomb to SOSA Henderson in normal speed, slow motion)
Flannery McCoy: The whiplash effect of that powerbomb shown as Sosa is slow to get up to his feet! Gaines though, he’s patiently waiting as the referee counts!
Flannery McCoy: SOSA pulling himself up! Holding his lower back… Gaines spots! AND GAINES!! RUNNING OFF THE ROPES!!! WASTING NO TIME FLIES OUT OF THE RING WITH A TOPE CON HILO CRASHING INTO SOSA HENDERSON!!! Gaines completely on fire here tonight on the final Dynasty before Grand Rampage! This is the kind of action Dynasty is going to bring to you come Grand Rampage! Gaines pulling SOSA up by his hair before throwing him inside the ring! Gaines climbs onto the apron! As SOSA is trying to rise up to his feet. Gaines patiently waiting though as SOSA staggers up bleeding from his nose probably from that open-handed palm strike that jacked his nose up to his face! SOSA turns! GAINES SPRINGBOARDS FOR A SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY! SOSA HENDERSON WITH A STANDING DROPKICK CATCHING GAINES IN MID-AIR!! Gaines caught right the ribs by the boots of SOSA! SOSA grabbing Gaines up to his feet and lifts him on his shoulders! AND SOSA!! PLANTS GAINES WITH A MICHINOKU DRIVER!!! Sosa on the offensive as the wheels are turning in his head as he looks for what else he can do!
Stew-O: SOSA not content with delivering just that Michinoku driver… SOSA Runs! SPRINGBOARDS OFF THE ROPES FOR A SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT!!! GAINES MANAGES TO GET HIS KNEES UP!! Knees to the mid-section!!! SOSA HOLDING HIS RIBS AS HE RISES UP! Gaines up as he makes his way over to SOSA as he delivers a forearm to the face of SOSA! But SOSA comes forward with a FOREARM TO THE FACE OF GAINES! AND A SPINNING BACK KICK TO THE MID-SECTION OF GAINES! SOSA KICKING GAINES AS HIS HEAD POPS UP! SOSA hooking Gaines as he raises him high in the air! SOSA COULD BE GOING FOR A BRAINBUSTER!! But GAINES!! BRINGING HIS KNEE DOWN TO THE SKULL OF SOSA!!! SOSA dropping Gaines! GAINES COMES FORWARD WITH A ROLLING ELBOW TO THE JAW OF SOSA HENDERSON!! And he sends a boot to the mid-section of SOSA once again before he rises him up! AND RAISES HIM HIGH IN THE AIR FOR A SITOUT LAST RIDE POWERBOMB!!! DRIVING SOSA INTO THE CANVAS!!! GAINES COVERS!!
Jake Mercer: KICKOUT! SOSA STILL SHOWS SIGNS OF LIFE!! Gaines asking the referee if he’s sure that he kicked out but the referee obliges that he did. Gaines making his way up as he grabs Sosa and throws him into the corner! Gaines lifting SOSA onto the top turnbuckle, as he tries to climb but SOSA grabs him and delivers a big headbutt to the skull of Gaines! SOSA once again with another headbutt! Gaines drops off! SOSA JUMPS ONTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!! AND DELIVERS A BIG OVER CASTLE!!! DRIVING THE BACK OF GAINES NECK DOWN TO THE CANVAS!! SOSA trying to make his way over to Gaines but Gaines rolling himself out of the ring, SOSA catching a bad break there! He’s sizing up Gaines who is rising up to his feet! SOSA RUNS!!! SUICIDE DIVE CRASHING INTO GAINES AND SENDING HIM CRASHING INTO THE BARRICADE!! SOSA grabbing Gaines and sending him back inside the ring! SOSA making his way inside the ring as Gaines staggers up! Gaines swings! SOSA ducks the incoming strike! ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO GAINES!!! Gaines still on his feet! SOSA CONNECTS WITH A JUMPING DDT PLANTING GAINES INTO THE MAT!!! SOSA HOOKS THE LEG!!
Flannery McCoy: GAINES KICKS OUT! SOSA popping up to his feet! Signaling that he could be going for the end! He walks over to Gaines. BUT GAINES PICKING THAT ANKLE OF SOSA!! ANKLE LOCK!!! ANKLE LOCK ON SOSA!!! HE’S TWISTING THE ANKLE!!! SOSA SHOUTING OUT IN PAIN!! GAINES RISING UP!!! HE PICKED THAT ANKLE AND NOW HE COULD BE POSITIONING HIMSELF FOR A BIG VICTORY HERE TONIGHT ON DYNASTY!!! SOSA pushes up…AND MANAGES TO RISE TO HIS FEET!!!!! GAINES!! QUICKLY GRABBING SOSA FROM BEHIND!!! GERMAN SUPLEX!!!! THROWING HENDERSON ACROSS THE RING! SOSA in the corner now as he dragged himself up! GAINES RUNNING AT HENDERSON!! SOSA MOVES!! GAINES STOPS HIMSELF BEFORE HE COLLIDES WITH THE CORNER!! HE TURNS!!! SOSA WITH A SUPERKICK!! GAINES CATCHES HIS BOOT!! AND GAINES WITH A JUMPING ENZIGURI DROPPING SOSA DOWN!! Gaines making his way to the apron… Climbing out! HE SPRINGBOARDS!!!! SPRINGBOARD 450 SPLASH INTO HENDERSON!!! GAINES COVERS!!
Stew-O: SOSA KICKS OUT!! Gaines is frustrated! But he wastes no time as he makes his way to the apron again but climbs to the top turnbuckle! Gaines perched! HE’S PERCHED!! HE FLIES FOR THE 450 CHIROPRACTOR!!!!! SOSA MOVES!!!!! GAINES CRASHES HARD TO THE CANVAS!! SOSA!!! Rising up! This is his chance!! SOSA RUNS!!! PAID IN FULL!!!! DOUBLE FOOT CURB STOMP ON GAINES!! SOSA COVERS!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Earned It” By Chief Keef plays as SOSA Henderson has his hand raised as he smirks and celebrates his victory)
Stephie Love: HEREEE IS YOUR WINNNER…. SOOSSSAAAAA HENDERSONNN!!!
Stew-O: And what a contest between these two but in the end, SOSA gained the victory in a highly contested contest!
Flannery: Another loss for Gaines, you have to wonder how he is going to bounce back from losing two straight weeks with the Grand Rampage approaching.
Jake: Well whenever he gets tired of losing that’s his choice to make, we should talk about the winner, SOSA Henderson! What a victory!
(One last shot of SOSA walking down the ramp proudly looking back, Stephie Love reenters as his music fades away.)
Stephie Love: Please welcome… Dr. Bethany Blue!
(“Bad Medicine” by Bon Jovi begins to blast across the PA system and a smug Dr. Bethany Blue walks out onto the stage.)
Flannery McCoy: As far as we know, the match between Dr. Blue and Darcy May Morgan for the Specialists Championship is still scheduled to take place next weekend at Grand Rampage.
Jake Mercer: However, The Dropkick Darling has been stuck in Peru after refusing a COVID-19 screening that was being administered by the good doctor. Last week, a false medical update was provided on Darcy, and we just want to continue to reiterate that Darcy is not suffering from this deadly virus, and she’s most certainly not hooked up to a ventilator.
Stew-O: I’m not sure what kind of game Dr. Blue is playing, but it’s far from amusing. From what we understand, the powers-that-be have been working around the clock to try and get Darcy out of Peru and back to the States in time for Grand Rampage.
Flannery McCoy: That being said, last week on Voltage, Dr. Blue found out that she would be able to pick the stipulation for the Specialists Championship match due to the ‘Unique Opportunity’ she won in a ladder match. I’m pretty sure we’re about to find out what that’s going to be.
(“Bad Medicine” fades out as Dr. Blue stands in the middle of the ring with a microphone.)
Dr. Bethany Blue: A few weeks ago, yours truly competed valiantly on Voltage in a ladder match that had a ‘Unique Opportunity’ on the line. Not only did I outclass and outshine the likes of Charles Marr, Turkey Buzzard Roberts, and Jalyn Garcia, but I earned the right to decide what kind of match I want for the Specialists Championship. Now, I had my lawyers pour over this contract and look for any fine print, and quite frankly, there was nothing that stated I had to wait until Grand Rampage to use this ‘Unique Opportunity.’
(A sinister little smile crosses Dr. Blue’s face.)
Dr. Bethany Blue: As you can see, I am dressed to compete tonight and that’s because the match I want for the Specialists Championship is a match right now! So what Darcy needs to do is bring her little butt down to this ring so I can kick it and win my second championship here in EAW! Referee! Come on down!
Jake Mercer: Surely she can’t be serious! Darcy May Morgan isn’t even in this country right now! How can you have a match for the Specialists Championship without the champion?!
(Shockingly enough, a referee makes his way down to the ring.)
Flannery McCoy: What the hell? Are we really about to have a match for the championship?
(Inside the ring, Dr. Blue removes her lab coat and makes a huge show of using the ropes to stretch and loosen up for the match.)
Jake Mercer: I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all.
(Dr. Blue finishes stretching and looks down the ramp, towards the stage.)
Dr. Bethany Blue (Off Mic): Darcy! Come out, come out wherever you are!
(A few more seconds of silence passes and finally “Spotlight Savior” by Iggy Azalea begins to play across the PA system.)
Flannery McCoy: Wait a second… is Darcy here?!
Stew-O: I feel like we would have been told if Darcy was in the building!
(The theme song continues to play but of course Darcy doesn’t come out. Dr. Blue looks a little frustrated by this and she starts talking quietly to the referee. The cameras do not pick up the conversation, but the referee is nodding his head and he calls over Stephie. After a brief discussion and a look for confusion from Stephie, the ring announcer raises up the microphone.)
Stephie Love: I have just been informed by the referee that Darcy will be given until the count of ten to show up and if she fails to do so, she will forfeit the Specialists Championship!
Jake Mercer: WHAT? Where the hell is StarrStan right now?? I know he didn’t approve this kind of outlandish scenario especially when that phony ass doctor is the entire reason Darcy isn’t here anyway! Why hasn’t Bethany Blue been fired?!
Flannery McCoy: :lupe: Well we all know what type of ship Captain Charisma runs :lupe:
Jake Mercer: But this is Dynasty! This isn’t some wannabe backyard shithole of a wrestling brand.
Referee (Off Mic): ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR… FIVE…
Jake Mercer: This is an outrage. I’ll get up there and fight on Darcy’s behalf!
Flannery McCoy: Sit your ass down! Dr. Blue will kill you.
Referee (Off Mic): SIX… SEVEN… EIGHT… NINE…
Flannery McCoy: OH SHIT!
Jake Mercer: OH SHIT! DARCY MAY MORGAN JUST CRACKED DR. BETHANY BLUE IN THE BACK OF THE SKULL! DARCY IS HERE! DARCY IS HERE! :blessed: :blessed: :blessed:
Stew-O: DARCY THROWS DOWN THE SPECIALISTS CHAMPIONSHIP AND IS BEATING THE DAYLIGHTS OUT OF BETHANY! BETHANY IS UNABLE TO DEFEND HERSELF BUT DARCY DOESN’T CARE! SHE’S BEEN TRAPPED IN PERU AFTER GETTING KIDNAPPED BY A HAZMAT TEAM AND STUCK IN QUARANTINE AND IT SEEMS LIKE SHE IS READY TO UNLEASH ALL THAT PENT UP ENERGY SHE HAS ON DR. BETHANY BLUE!
Jake Mercer: AND IT COULDN’T BE HAPPENING TO A NICER PERSON BECAUSE BETHANY DESERVES THIS! THIS WOMAN HAS BEEN ALLOWED TO RUN RAMPANT FOR WAY TO LONG! COME ON DARCY!
Flannery McCoy: DARCY PULLS DR. BLUE UP AND WHIPS HER INTO THE ROPES!!! DDD!!! DON’T DISS DARCY!!! THE BICYCLE KNEE CONNECTS AND THE GOOD DOCTOR IS DOWN! DARCY PUTS THE BOOTS TO HER AND FINALLY SECURITY IS RUNNING OUT HERE! THEY HIT THE RING BUT DARCY HAS ALREADY ROLLED OUT AND SHE’S GOT THE SPECIALISTS CHAMPIONSHIP IN HAND!
(The camera cuts to Darcy, whose face is flushed with pure rage. She is clutching her championship and staring down at the ring at Dr. Bethany Blue. Officials are trying to help the doctor into a sitting position, but the former Interwire Champion shoves them away and grabs the ropes, pulling herself into a standing position.)
Darcy May Morgan (Off Mic): That is just a FRACTION of what I have planned for you come Grand Rampage, doctor.
(Dr. Bethany Blue takes a deep breath and narrows her eyes.)
Dr. Bethany Blue (Off Mic): We’ll see about that bee-itch. Mark my words. The doctor is in and you do not want that!
(Darcy holds up the Specialists Championship and after a few seconds, while Bethany stares at it, and Dynasty fades to break.)
(Dynasty comes back on air as “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen hits, as The Visual Prophet steps out onto the stage. The reigning King of Elite and Unified Tag Team Champion has a look of happiness and satisfaction, as he’s been looking forward to this match. He walks down the ramp with some swagger in his step, showing his confidence heading into the ring)
Stephie Love: The following contest is set for ONE FALL!!!!! Introducing first, from Detroit, Michigan.. Weighing in at 240lbs!!! He’s one half of the Unified Tag Team Champions!!! THE KING VISUAL PROPHETTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: And here comes King Viz! Last week we had SASS make their way over here on Dynasty from Voltage, as they made their intentions known. They want to go after Champ Champ, Drizzy, and King Champ, Vizzy at Grand Rampage with those Unified Tag Team Championships on the line. King Viz wasn’t shy at all about accepting the challenge.
Flannery McCoy: Nope, not at all! He actually was so ready to accept, that he forgot to consult with Drake before he was about to respond to the challenge.
Jake Mercer: Forgot? I don’t think King Viz forgot. But a King will do what a King wants. It’s no surprise that he didn’t wait to talk to Drake before trying to accept the challenge himself. Kings don’t need the approval of anyone to get what they want.
Flannery McCoy: But they might if it involves the Unified Tag Team Championships. You know, the only championship in EAW where you NEED to be in sync with another person. AKA their tag team partner, the other champion in this partnership. Obviously Drake didn’t appreciate how The Visual Prophet assumed that Drake would be all for the match without talking to him about it first. The Grand Rampage is going to be an emotional rollercoaster for Drake, as he’ll be up against his girl, Sierra Bradford, and I don’t think The Visual Prophet put that into perspective. He’s told Drake that everything will be okay, but you guys know this business. Even when everything is said to be okay, there’s a greater chance that it won’t be.
Jake Mercer: Stop worrying about the emotions and drama behind everything Flannery and be happy that King Champ and SASS are looking forward to a competitive matchup at The Grand Rampage. Who cares if anyone gets hurt? This is wrestling. Plus, the challenge has already been accepted so there’s no going back now. Plus, look at King Vizzy in the ring right now. He’s looking happy as ever knowing that he gets to compete against one of his contenders for that belt tonight.
(King Visual Prophet is seen doing the Toosie slide in the center of the ring to the beat and rhythm of his theme song. He’s clearly enjoying himself out there. The Queen track eventually stops, as we see The Visual Prophet looking towards the stage. He extends his hands out and continuously curls his fingers back, signaling that he wants his opponent, Sierra Bradford)
Jake Mercer: Competition Flannery. That’s what King Visual Prophet and both of the SASS girls want.
(“Run, Don’t Walk” by Hey Monday hits, as Sierra Bradford steps out onto the stage. She has a determined look on her face, as she’s aware of how big this match is heading into her title match at the Grand Rampage. Bradford stares at Viz in the center of ring, as he looks back at her with a smile on his face. She continues to walk down the ramp)
Stephie Love: And his opponent!! From San Jose, California.. Weighing in at 141lbs!!! She is the Multiversal Constant!!!! SIERRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAA BRADFORRRRRRRDDDDDD!!!!
Stew-O: And here’s Sierra Bradford! Last week, her and Sarah Price got exactly what they wanted when Drake King agreed to defend those championships with The Visual Prophet against her and Sarah at the Grand Rampage. On Voltage two nights later, the Champs were able to take a seat at the commentary table, as they scouted their opponents for the big title match!
Flannery McCoy: And it was on Voltage where SASS would actually pick up the victory over the talented Malcolm Jones. Andrea Valentine may have played a bigger role in SASS’ victory than they would have wanted by interfering in the match, but they picked up the victory.
Jake Mercer: Not only that, but they were also able to get a few shots on the champs themselves. It may have been for a brief moment, but last week on Voltage, I would say that SASS got the upperhand over Drizzy and Vizzy. However, tonight will be a whole different story, as will this coming Sunday, as both teams have one person from their partnership competing against one from the opposing team tonight on Dynasty and again on Voltage. As you can see, we have King Viz vs Sierra Bradford tonight, so Drake King vs Sarah Price will be this Sunday.
Stew-O: And one of them is just about to start up, as Sierra has made her way to the ring. She looks ready, and I think the referee is about to call for the bell.
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: Alright, here we go! Sierra Bradford vs The Visual Prophet! Sierra charges right at The Visual Prophet with a running lariat!! King Viz ducks under the arm, and runs to the far ropes, he bounces back, as Sierra Bradford turns around! Running shoulder block by The Visual Prophet!! Sierra Bradford hits the canvas hard, but she instantly pops back up to her feet! King Viz with a dropkick!! It connects, as it sends Sierra Bradford back towards the ring ropes! She bounces back.. SPINEBUSTER BY KING VIZ!!!
Flannery McCoy: No!! Sierra counters!! DDT!!! King Viz’s face plants hard against the mat! Sierra quickly makes it up to her feet, as Viz isn’t too far behind her! Sierra Bradford runs to the ropes, rebounds back, Viz stands up.. RUNNING JUMPING KNEE TO THE FACE BY SIERRA BRADFORD!!! It connects, and King Viz instantly is brought back down to the mat! He pops back up though but looks extremely groggy. It’s almost as if he’ seeing stars from that shot by Bradford!
Jake Mercer: LOOK! It’s Sierra by the ring ropes! She leaps up onto the middle rope and springs herself back!!! SPRINGBOARD KICK BY SIERRA BRADFORD!!! THAT’S THE BULLSEYE!!!
Stew-O: NO!! The Visual Prophet side steps and gets out of the way, as Sierra Bradford stumbles onto her feet! King Viz grabs Bradford and pulls her in!! REVERSE STO INTO A TWISTING DDT!!! THAT’S THE VDT AND IT CONNECTS, AS SIERRA BRADFORD’S HEAD PLANTS AGAINST THE MAT! Viz gets up onto one knee, and begins shaking his head, trying to shake the stars out his head from Bradford’s previous knee strike. Sierra Bradford rolls on the mat off to the side, as she clutches at the back of her head while kicking her feet up and down!
Jake Mercer: King Viz now gets up to his feet, as he walks over to Sierra Bradford. He grabs her by the hair and uses it to assist him in bringing her up to her feet. Viz still has Sierra Bradford by the head, as he walks her over to the corner, and bashes her head against the top turnbuckle!! He sets her in the corner, as she leans back against the turnbuckles. Viz then connects with a strong kick to her abdomen with his right leg before backing out of the corner. The King is looking right at his opponent. He’s got something planned that’s for sure! He charges at Sierra Bradford in the corner!!! RUNNING KNEE STRIKE BY KING VIZ!!!!
Stew-O: NO!!! Sierra manages to get out of the way by dropping to the mat, as Viz drives his knee right into the padded turnbuckle!! Sierra slowly gets back up to her feet, as she walks over to The Visual Prophet.. BUT THE VISUAL PROPHET DROPS HIS SHOULDER WHICH CAUSES SIERRA BRADFORD TO WALK RIGHT INTO A FIREMAN’S CARRY!!!!
Flannery McCoy: King Viz has Sierra Bradford on his shoulders, as he walks to the center of the ring! It looks like he wants to go for his Prophet Driver here!! And he goes for-
Stew-O: VIZ DROPS DOWN TO HIS RIGHT KNEE!! THE SAME KNEE THAT BASHED AGAINST THAT TURNBUCKLE!!! Sierra Bradford lands on her feet!! SNAP DDT BY SIERRA!!!! IT CONNECTS!!!
Flannery McCoy: This is the perfect opening for Sierra Bradford to get this match to go her way. The champ is down and she needs to take advantage!
Jake Mercer: Sierra Bradford back up to her feet. She does two stomps down onto the King’s chest! Sierra now looks over at the corner and makes her way over to it. She’s climbing up to the tope rope!
Stew-O: But look! It’s King Viz! He’s back up to his feet! He limps his way over to the corner, as he climbs up to the middle rope the second he gets there!!
Jake Mercer: And now Sierra Bradford and The Visual Prophet are trading punches in the corner! King Viz with a right hook! Sierra Bradford with a left jab! Viz! Sierra! Viz! Sierra!!!
Flannery McCoy: And Viz hops off that second rope! He takes a step back! AND HE LEAPS IN THE AIR AND CONNECTS A DROPKICK RIGHT ONTO SIERRA’S RIGHT FOOT ON THE ROPES, AS HE KNOCKS IT OFF AND CAUSES SIERRA BRADFORD TO LAND IN A SEATED POSITION ON THAT TOP TURNBUCKLE!!! The Visual Prophet is down on the mat, as he’s slow to get up! That knee is still bothering the champ, but he still manages to fight the pain as he makes it back up to his feet! King Viz limps his way back to the corner!
Stew-O: The champ climbs up to the second rope, as he adjusts Sierra Bradford. He wraps both arms around her! It looks like Viz is going for a belly to belly suplex from the turnbuckle!!
Jake Mercer: Forearm to the face by Sierra Bradford!
Flannery McCoy: She understands the position that she’s in, and it’s definitely one she doesn’t want to feed into, as she’s trying to fight The Visual Prophet off!!
Stew-O: King Viz unwraps his arms around Sierra Bradford, as he holds onto the top rope for balance with his left hand and uses his right to connect a hook to the side Sierra’s shoulder!! Viz with another!! And another!! Sierra looks like she’s falling off to the side of the turnbuckle, as she now holds onto the ropes with her left hand!! Viz continues with these strikes!!
Flannery McCoy: BUT IT’S SIERRA BRADFORD WITH AN ELBOW TO THE SIDE OF VIZ’S HEAD!! ANOTHER ELBOW SHOT!! AND ANOTHER! SIERRA BRADFORD WITH A FOURTH ELBOW SHOT THAT KNOCKS KING VIZ OFF OF THAT MIDDLE ROPE!! SIERRA ALSO FALLS OFF OF THE TURNBUCKLE, AS SHE LANDS ON HER FEET ON THE RING APRON!! Sierra holds onto that top rope, as King Viz clutches at his head before walking over to her.
Jake Mercer: SPINNING HEEL KICK BY SIERRA BRADFORD ON THE RING APRON ONTO THE VISUAL PROPHET INSIDE THE RING!!! King Viz instantly falls flat onto the canvas, as Sierra looks down at her opponent. She’s still holding onto the top rope, as she uses it to help pull herself up to the top turnbuckle!! Sierra Bradford now on the top rope! Viz is still down!! She leaps into the air!! 450 SPLASH!!!!
Stew-O: THE VISUAL PROPHET GETS HIS KNEES UP AT THE LAST SECOND, AS SIERRA BRADFORD CRASHES DOWN ONTO THEM!!!! BRADFORD ROLLS OFF TO THE SIDE, AS SHE CLUTCHES HER ABDOMEN IN PAIN!! SHE’S KICKING HER LEGS UP AND DOWN!! That didn’t just hurt her. It also took the wind right out of her!!
Flannery McCoy: And it doesn’t look like The Visual Prophet is getting out of that situation without feeling anything either, as that landing definitely added more strain on his already aggravated knee!
Stew-O: That’s right Flannery! The Visual Prophet is clutching at his right knee once again during this match, but I think that counter was all he could do to prevent himself from getting hit by that 450 Splash by Sierra!
Jake Mercer: Hopefully The Visual Prophet’s knees aren’t too screwed up. I want to see more of that Toosie Slide. You know, The Visual Prophet spent all week trying to perfect that dance move in honor of his partner, Drizzy Drake’s new hot single.
Flannery McCoy: :usure: I think you got the wrong Drizzy…
Jake Mercer: No way. I’m talking about the one who’s always in his feelings. Drake.
Flannery McCoy: I’m done..
Stew-O: The Visual Prophet rolls over to the side, as he grabs the bottom rope to help assist himself up to his feet. He grabs the next rope up the higher he gets before finally making it up to his feet. The Visual Prophet walks over to Sierra Bradford, and stomps down onto her lower back. He grabs Sierra by the hair, as he brings his head close to hers!
The Visual Prophet (Off-Mic): Don’t you worry Sisi! I’ll take good care of Drake. Good Good Care of him. Just like I will with OUR tag team championships long after our match at the Grand Rampage.
(Sierra Bradford slowly begins to make her way up as she gets onto one knee)
The Visual Prophet (Off-Mic): You don’t have to worry about a single thing!
(The Visual Prophet kisses Sierra Bradford on her forehead)
Flannery McCoy: And King Viz backs up! Sierra Bradford gets to her feet!! KISS TO THE HEAD!!! BULLHAMMER ELBOW STRIKE BY THE VISUAL PROPHET!!!!
Stew-O: NO!!! SIERRA BRADFORD DUCKS UNDERNEATH AND GETS BEHIND THE KING!! King Viz turns around! WRITING WOES!!!! ROUNDHOUSE KICK BY THE SUPERGIRL CONNECTS!!! THE VISUAL PROPHET IS DOWN!!!
Flannery McCoy: Sierra Bradford gets back up to her feet! She makes way over to the corner, as she climbs up to the top turnbuckle! She turns around, and faces the empty arena! Bradford leaps into the air!! SIERRA MIST!!! MOONSAULT DOUBLE FOOT STOMP!!!!
Jake Mercer: BUT THE VISUAL PROPHET ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY, AS SIERRA BRADFORD STUMBLES ON THE LANDING!! The King is on the mat behind Sierra Bradford, and he reaches for her leg as she’s still trying to catch her balance!! He has it and he shoves Sierra Bradford down to mat with her leg still in hand!! THE VIZ-LOCK!!! THE VISUAL PROPHET LOCKS IN HIS ANKLE LOCK ON SIERRA BRADFORD!!!
Stew-O: AND SIERRA BRADFORD IS NOW SCREAMING IN PAIN!! THE VISUAL PROPHET IS WRENCHING ON THAT ANKLE WITH NO INTENTIONS OF LETTING GO!!! Sierra Bradford is trying to reach the ropes!! She’s extending her arm out as far as she can! Trying to stretch as much as possible to get to that bottom rope!!!
Flannery McCoy: And Viz is just enjoying this, as he’s trying to end this one right here!!! Sierra Bradford is fighting the pain though, as she’s army crawling her way over to the bottom rope!! She’s almost there! Just a little further!! One more inch!! And-
Jake Mercer: THE VISUAL PROPHET PULLS SIERRA BRADFORD BACK TO THE CENTER OF THE RING!!!! AND HE DROPS DOWN TO THE MAT BEFORE WRAPPING HIS LEGS AROUND SIERRA’S!!! SHE HAS NO WAY OUT, AND VIZ ADDS EVEN MORE PRESSURE!!!! SIERRA IS STILL REACHING!!! BUT IT’S NO USE, AND SIERRA BRADFORD TAPS OUT!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen hits, as The Visual Prophet lets go of Sierra’s leg. He lays flat on his back, and takes a deep breath before getting up to his feet. The referee hands him his Unified Tag Team Championship then raises his hand)
Stephie Love: Here is your winner… KING VISUALLLLLLLLLLLLL PROPHETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: What a match between these two here tonight! Sierra Bradford put up an incredible fight, but The Visual Prophet adds another victory to his name by making her tap out.
Jake Mercer: This is what Sarah and Sierra Bradford have been wanting all this time. A shot at the unified tag team championships, but with that comes champions like The Visual Prophet who will stop at nothing to keep those belts with him and Drake.
Flannery McCoy: I have to agree with you there. The Visual Prophet definitely added a little more momentum for his team heading into the Grand Rampage, but don’t think that this loss here tonight takes away the chance that Sierra and Sarah could walk out of The Grand Rampage as the New Champions.
Stew-O: That’s for sure. Sierra Bradford got a good feel for what The Visual Prophet likes to do in the ring. Sarah has her opportunity to do the same against Drake. Win, lose, or draw, you can bet that SASS will be using these matchups to their advantage come Grand Rampage!
Flannery McCoy: But for now, it’s King Viz who should feel great about picking up this victory! Incredible showing by the King to finish this one off before he started to get into some serious trouble with that knee!
(The Visual Prophet is seen walking back up the ramp with both arms in the air, one of which is holding the Unified Tag Team Championship belt. King Visual Prophet looks back at Sierra Bradford, who is using the ring ropes to get back up to her feet. Sierra Bradford looks back at The Visual Prophet with a smirk on her face. She doesn’t look worried or concerned about her match at the Grand Rampage, but moreso determined to avenge while taking those tag titles with Sarah in the process. The Visual Prophet and Sierra Bradford continue to stare each other down from a distance before the screen eventually fades to black)
(Chris Elite’s reign of terror on Dynasty is recapped including all of the major announcements and his BVU segment from a week ago)
(Dynasty cuts to Stew-O, who is sitting in the ring in one of two director’s chairs that have been set up.)
Stew-O: Please welcome the National Elite Champion, ‘The Mauler’ Kassidy Heart!
(“Monster” by Kanye West begins to blast across the PA system and Kassidy strolls out onto the stage. Despite the lack of a crowd, the champion smirks and holds her title up, before making her way down to the ring. Tonight Kassidy wears a pair of extremely short, destroyed denim shorts that show off her cheeks, a modified version of her own ‘Mauler’ t-shirt available at the EAW online shop, and a pair of chunky heeled, Dr. Martens style combat boots with little white hearts on them. Her long blond locks are done in messy, beach style waves and are flowing over her shoulders. Kassidy gets into the ring, snatches up the microphone that is in the chair opposite of Stew-O, and takes a seat. “Monster” dies down and Stew-O starts speaking.)
Stew-O: First of all, thank you for joining me this evening.
Kassidy Heart: Clearly the pleasure is all yours.
Stew-O: :wow: Next weekend at Grand Rampage, you find yourself defending the National Elite Championship against a man you have never faced before. Are you looking forward to the challenge that Chris Elite could potentially present to you?
(Kassidy rolls her green eyes and laughs to herself.)
Kassidy Heart: Should I walk into Grand Rampage and assume Chris Elite is actually going to be a challenge to me?
Stew-O: Well, he is a former EAW World Heavyweight Champion.
Kassidy Heart: He is, and that can’t be denied, but he’s also reduced himself to nothing more than a glorified comedy act that I’m really not going to sweat. I mean that BVU skit last week was absolutely pathetic and really not at all funny. It’s fucking sad, dude. Chris Elite is a talented wrestler, but since losing that world title to Rex McAllister, he’s never really been able to regain his momentum. He’s had to resort to throwing around his Gawd Control in order to maintain his status as someone with power, and in most cases using the Gawd Contract hasn’t even been necessary. Let’s take my championship for example.
(Kassidy looks down at the National Elite Championship which is sitting in her lap at the moment.)
Kassidy Heart: I’m not hard to track down or find, and I’m willing to defend this belt against anyone. If Chris wanted his name added to my list of victims, all he had to do was ask and I would have granted him a championship match. But of course, he is simple-minded and just assumes that by throwing around the Gawd Contract and using it to grant himself a match for the National Elite Championship he would gain the power advantage over me. Or better yet, he probably thought I would be put out or annoyed at the situation. The only thing is, I’m here to fight and to continue building my legacy and that means stepping up and facing anyone who crosses my path. I’m not a bitch. I’m not going to shy away from a challenge or use my own power to keep people away from my championship. NvL stupidly assumed I was actually going to back down from him and just let him take the National Elite Championship, and that man hasn’t been seen since I destroyed him at Reckless Wiring. Fuck all that. We all know that I could snap my fingers and use the clout that comes with being the Chairman’s wife to shake this whole fucking company up, but I choose to handle my business myself.
Stew-O: That’s a fair point that is hard to argue. You’ve always faced everything head on that’s come your way here in EAW.
Kassidy Heart: Exactly. When I signed with REVOLT, I had the attitude that I was just happy to be here and whatever happened to come my way was just icing on an already sweet cake. But the second I stepped through the EAW doors something inside of me changed. Maybe it was the scorn I faced when I got here, but all that drama and adversity, and the fact no one really wanted me here to begin with, left me with a bitter taste in my mouth and a chip on my shoulder. I’m driven to succeed, and to prove every motherfucker wrong who dares to look down their nose at me.
(Stew-O is about to reply when all of a sudden the PA system comes on.)
Voiceover: In the briminal justice system, dickeating based offenses are considered especially heinous in Elite Answers Wrestling, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are known as an elite squad known as the Bozo Victims Unit. These are their stories.
(Kassidy can not help but roll her eyes as the entire group walks onto the stage. Big Mike, Ty the White Guy, Assidy Hart, Shaker Jones, and the man himself, Chris Elite, are all there and they stare down Kassidy. Elite has a microphone and twirls it between his fingers before speaking.)
Chris Elite: Fake ass underdog dickeater. Bitch, me using my Gawd contract to give myself a shot at the National Elite Championship ain’t got nothing to do with playing games with you. Fuck you. I’m after a Triple Crown of my own and that championship you got right now is going to get me one step closer to achieving that and then taking it one step further and going for the Grand Slam. What that piece of paper does for me is ensure that no one can fuck with me. I can do whatever I want, to whomever I want, and there ain’t anything you can do about it.
(Kassidy raises an eyebrow.)
Kassidy Heart: Do you really want to test that theory? Ryan created the entire concept of a Gawd Contract, not to mention he has one of his own, and I would literally bet my entire career on the fact that if I wanted him to use his own contract for my benefit he would. So I’m really the last person you need to threaten you stupid piece of shit, because whatever power you believe you have is something I possess as well. The difference between you and me, though, is that I’m in this business to [b]EARN[/b] my accolades. I don’t want to utilize my connections and throw around my power, because I’m real sick of dumb bitches saying the same goddamn thing about me in their promos. KaSsIdY gEtS hAnDeD eVeRyThInG bEcAuSe Of HeR hUsBaNd.
Chris Elite: Save the sob story, you fucking bozo, and just know there ain’t finna be no theory to test. I’m gunna do whatever the fuck I want on Dynasty and if you try and get in the way, I’ll beat your ass and send you back to your husband in a bodybag. I wasted way to much of my time this season carrying dead fucking weight and forcing something that never should have happened in the first place, but you live and you learn, and come next week at Grand Rampage, I’m going to become a champion again. It’s been way too long since I’ve had gold around my waist and that situation is about to be fixed real damn quick.
(While Elite was talking, the rest of the BVU had made their way to the ring. Stew-O had bailed, and Kassidy was on her feet. The National Elite Championship has been left sitting in the chair.)
Kassidy Heart: A quick fix, huh? Do you really think sending these idiots after The Mauler is going to help you get the upperhand for next weekend?
Chris Elite: The Mauler? You can maul this dick! Get her!
(The BVU all slide into the ring and immediately attack Kassidy!)
Flannery McCoy: Ladies and gentlemen, if you are just tuning in, Chris Elite and Kassidy Heart just exchanged words with one another and now the BVU is attacking the champ!
Jake Mercer: Detectives Asson and Ty have seized Kassidy by the arms while Shaker Jones is putting the boots to her! He relentlessly kicks The Mauler in her stomach and she falls to her knees, which allows Shaker the opportunity to drive his knee into her face! Big Mike stands in the corner looking a little concerned about this entire situation because we all know that he’s always been sweet on Kassidy! They even went on a date last season!!
Stew-O: Ty and Asson haul Kassidy back up and they throw her into the corner! Shaker charges towards her and hits her with a running corner clothesline! Kassidy slumps to the ground and Shaker grabs her by the hair and he is pulling something out of his back pocket! What the hell is that?!
Flannery McCoy: THAT’S A MUZZLE! I KNOW THE BVU ISN’T GOING TO ATTEMPT TO MUZZLE THE REAL KASSIDY HEART LIKE THEY DID THE FAKE ONE LAST WEEK???!!!
Jake Mercer: SHAKER IS ORDERING ASSON AND TY TO HOLD KASSIDY UP AND HE IS ATTEMPTING TO SLIP THE MUZZLE OVER HER FACE! KASSIDY CATCHES HIM WITH A HEADBUTT RIGHT TO THE STOMACH AND SHE FOLLOWS IT UP WITH ANOTHER THAT CATCHES SHAKER RIGHT IN THE BALLS! ASSON AND TY START HAMMERING AWAY WITH THEIR FISTS, BUT KASSIDY IS ABLE TO PULL THEM BOTH DOWN AND ROLLS OUT OF REACH! THE MAULER FORCES HERSELF BACK UP AS TY GETS BACK UP AND COMES BARRELING TOWARDS HER! SHE CATCHES HIM WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK AND HE DROPS DOWN TO THE GROUND! ASSON ATTEMPTS TO THROW A CLOTHESLINE, BUT KASSIDY KICKS HER IN THE STOMACH, GRABS HER BY THE NECK, AND DRILLS HER INTO THE MAT WITH A DDT! KASSIDY IS UNLOADING ON ASSON RIGHT NOW! SHE IS BEATING THE HELL OUT OF HER AND TY QUICKLY TRIES TO BREAK IT UP! HE PULLS KASSIDY OFF ASSON BY THE HAIR BUT THE MAULER JUST TURNED AROUND AND SANK HER TEETH INTO THE SIDE OF TY’S FACE!
Stew-O: SHAKER JONES IS BACK UP AND HOLDING HIS BALLS AS KASSIDY SENDS TY OUT OF THE RING WITH A BLOODY FACE! SHAKER MAKES A BEELINE FOR KASSIDY, BUT SHE TAKES HIM DOWN WITH A HEART PUNCH! SHAKER ROLLS OUT OF THE RING WHICH LEAVES KASSIDY ALONE WITH BIG MIKE AND DETECTIVE ASSON! BIG MIKE WANTS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS AND HE BAILS LEAVING THE MAULER ALONE WITH ASSON! KASSIDY GRABS ASSON AND BULLDOGS HER INTO THE MAT! CHRIS ELITE IS WATCHING AS ASSON FINALLY STARTS TO STIR AND THERE IT IS! ‘PAINFULLY EVER AFTER’! THE CURB STOMP CONNECTS ON DETECTIVE ASSON AND SHE IS OUT! KASSIDY LOOKS AROUND THE RING AND SHE GRABS THE MUZZLE, SLIPPING IT OVER DETECTIVE ASSON’S HEAD AND LOCKING IT IN PLACE!
Kassidy Heart (Off Mic): Now that’s how you deal with a group of dickeaters, you fucking pussy. I’ll see you at Grand Rampage.
(“Monster” by Kanye West hits as Kassidy stares down Chris Elite, who has remained safely on the stage this entire time. The former World Heavyweight Champion looks completely disgusted over the fact the BVU was just bodied by The Mauler. Kassidy has retrieved the National Elite Championship and she raises it in the air.)
(Dynasty fades to commercial break on that final image of Chris Elite staring down Kassidy and her championship.)
(Dynasty returns as the camera cuts to Stephie Love in the middle of the ring)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!!!
(‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ (Butch Vig Mix) by Nirvana plays up as Cage makes his way out to the front of the arena. In fact, he’s not even on the stage, the camera pans all the way over to the empty rafters as Cage is seen standing there as he spreads his arms out with a stern look on his face before giving a loud yell. He continues to stay there for a moment looking around the arena before finally walking down the steps making his long way to the ring)
Stephie Love: Introducing first… from Edmonton, Alberta Canada… weighing in at 230 pounds… THIS… IS… CAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Cage has had some hectic few weeks up to this Dynasty Go-Home Show and hell even leading into Grand Rampage and what precedes for him all because of Chris Elite and his Gawd Contract. And with that Chris Elite had the power to extend the Grand Rampage count from 30 members to 40 to put more workload on him in order to make sure he does not come out winner, and ensure the fact that if he goes through the bottom or middle rope, he will be eliminated.
Flannery McCoy: But the question is beckoned Stew, has that ever stopped Cage before? Cage continues to persist through everything and I’m sure winning the 40 men Grand Rampage match is not out of the picture for ‘Explicit Content’ as I’m sure. If anything the fans at home are on Cage’s side and Cage’s prowess and veteran like abilities which sure outclass the majority of competitors in the ring will surely drag him to a win.
Jake Mercer: You guys are stupid aren’t you? In no way is that possible, if we scroll back to Greco roman style wrestling you would see that not even the Olympian Gods could last toe to toe with multiple futile humans, do not mistaken Cage as a god though, and even then, he doesn’t stand a chance!
(Cage jumps over the barricade as he circles the ring before climbing up to steps and walking to the middle of the apron before entering the ring. He’d jump around for a moment walking a few laps around the ring with anticipation before climbing the turnbuckle and spreading his arms out once more before jumping off and going to his corner as ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ (Butch Vig Mix) fades out. ‘Sensei’ by Datsik plays up as Osamu Arcichida makes his way out to the ring. He gives a nod as he stands square in the center of the stage before making his way to the ring with confidence as he does so as he makes his descent down to the ramp)
Stephie Love: And his opponent… from Osaka, Japan… weighing in at 235 pounds… THE ORCHESTRATOR… OSAMU ARCICHIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Now as for Osamu things have been going well his way as well. Recently fresh off a battle royal win where he secured himself a late Grand Rampage entrant which will play him especially well even in this situation with 40 men. Now Osamu is coming in with confidence, ready to prove a point that he’s able to beat Cage, so if he tries to take away his PFP dream, he will take it away from him rather than himself.
Flannery McCoy: ‘The Orchestrator’ is always full of surprises and beating Cage is not out of the picture tonight. But if there’s a possibility he can, is there a chance he’s on his 100% and if so, is this the Osamu we will be seeing heading into Grand Rampage?
Jake Mercer: Even if, the performance will be absolutely RACOUSSSS performance, hah hah get it? Yeah, I certainly don’t.
(Osamu makes his way up the steps slowly as he enters the ring and goes to the top rope. He spreads his arms out with his head turned to the sky and his eyes closed as he does so before jumping off. He makes his way to his corner and as he does so slowly peels off his jacket and begins to ready up with a stern face as ‘Sensei’ fades out and the Ref signals for the bell)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: And here we go as this Grand Rampage Preview Match is underway! Cage and Osamu quickly circling around as they move forward and quickly begin to lock up. Both Cage and Osamu are quickly going at it as Osamu is quickly shoving Cage into the corner! Cage throwing his hands up in defense as the Ref quickly breaks them up. BUT CAGE WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS OUT OF NOWHERE SLAMMING OSAMU TO THE GROUND AS HE BEGINS TO POUND FIST RIGHT INTO HIS FACE AND EVERYWHERE ELSE IN BETWEEN!
Flannery McCoy: Osamu pushing away though as Cage stumbles backward yet quickly gets up to his feet. OSAMU WITH A BEAUTIFUL STANDING DROPKICK TAKING CAGE RIGHT BACK DOWN TO THE GROUND! Cage grabs his face as it’s clear he’s not going to be staying down for long as he’s already beginning to pull himself up to his feet again. Cage clutching onto the ropes as Osamu runs to the opposite side and back! OSAMU WITH A CLOTHESLINE SENDING CAGE OVER THE TOP ROPE AND TUMBLING TO THE GROUND!
Jake Mercer: Now if this were the Grand Rampage match that would count as an elimination to Cage, stay woke. Cage grabbing the barricade and using it as a crutch as he moves along it for a moment as Osamu’s eyes slowly trace him circling around the ring. CAGE SLIDING INTO THE RING OUT OF NOWHERE THOUGH AS HE TAKES HIM RIGHT BACK DOWN TO THE GROUND! BOTH OF THEM ARE HAMMERING FIST RIGHT INTO EACHOTHER AS IT LOOKS LIKE THEY’RE BOTH TRYING TO KILL EACHOTHER!
Stew-O: BOTH OF THEM SENT DOWN TO HANDS AND KNEES AS THEY’RE GETTING DIRTY IN THERE ATTACKING ONE ANOTHER WITH NO REMORSE AND FURIOUS INTENT! Cage finally managing to push away as both of them get to their feet and Osamu is already thinking one step ahead as he runs towards Cage with absolute fury in his step! BUT CAGE! DIAMOND CUTTER! SMOOTH EXECUTION FROM THE ‘EDGECRUSHER’ AS HE QUICKLY GOES FOR A PIN ATTEMPT ON OSAMU WHO IS COMPLETELY OUT OF IT!
Flannery McCoy: OSAMU KICKS OUT! Cage already has frustration on his face as he pulls himself up to his feet and grabs Osamu’s head and drags him along with him. Cage sending multiple punches right to the skull of Osamu as Osamu is trying his best to fend them off and block as many of them as he can but Cage is much too fast for him! Osamu being pushed into the corner as Cage sends shots to his gut before separating and moving back before running towards him! CORNER CLOTHESLINE! BUT OSAMU BARELY MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND ESCAPES BEFORE ANYMORE DAMAGE CAN BE DONE!
Jake Mercer: Cage swapping places with Osamu as he falls into the corner and Osamu pulls him out. Osamu climbing up to the top rope as he’s waiting for Cage to get up as he slowly begins to do so not expecting what is about to come to him! OSAMU WITH A DIVING CROSSBODY! NO! CAGE REVERSES IT OUT OF NOWHERE! CAGE MANAGES TO GRAB HIM AND ROLL THROUGH AS WITH BRUTE STRENGTH PULLS HIMSELF UP TO HIS FEET! BUT OSAMU! HE SLIPS OUT!
Stew-O: THE BEST NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX IN THE BUSINESS! CAGE PLANTED RIGHT TO THE GROUND OUT OF NOWHERE AS SUDDENLY OSAMU HAS TURNED HIS MATCH AROUND IN A HEARTBEAT! CAGE IS STUNNED AS HE CAN’T FEEL ANYTHING AS OSAMU LEAPS FORWARD AND GOES FOR A PIN ATTEMPT AS WELL ON CAGE!
Flannery McCoy: CAGE KICKS OUT! Osamu slamming the mat clearly livid in response to the kick-out by the sure persistent Cage as he’s realizing this is going to take much more than he expected to push through and continue going through this match to get the win on the former World Champion. Osamu getting up to his feet as he crouches down examining Cage who is just starting to begin to get his bearings as he yells at him, mocking him to get up to his feet.
Jake Mercer: Not so good sportsmanship by ‘The Orchestrator’ as finally Cage is getting up to his feet. Cage stumbles backward than forwards as I think he’s going to fall and stumble right into Osamu’s trap! CLASSIVE AGGRESSIVE! WAIT! NO! CAGE REVERSES OUT OF THE MUSCLE BUSTER! HOW?! CAGE WITH A BURST OF STRENGTH AS HE SLITHERS OUT AND WAITS FOR OSAMU! OSAMU SWINGING! BUT CAGE! SCHOOL-BOY! SCHOOL-BOY! NOT LIKE THIS!
Stew-O: BUT OSAMU! OSAMU BARELY KICKING OUT! BUT CAGE WAS READY FOR HIM! CAGE SETTING OSAMU UP AS HE QUICKLY GRABS HIM AND PULLS HIM IN LIKE A HARPOON! OLD SCHOOL EXPULSION! THE INVERTED NECKBREAKER SLAM CONNECTS AS OSAMU IS TAKEN RIGHT DOWN TO THE GROUND! Osamu rolling around in pain as Cage quickly rolls him over to his back and goes for a pin attempt!
Flannery McCoy: MY GAWD! OSAMU POWERS UP AND MANAGES TO GET THE SHOULDER UP! Cage is livid because of this as he was clearly thinking that this was going to be the final nail in the coffin for Osamu to gain the win over him! Osamu rolling up to his feet as despite the damage he’s not going to give in. CAGE GOING FOR A KICK RIGHT TO HIS FACE!
Jake Mercer: BUT OSAMU DUCKS UNDER! Osamu quickly running towards the ropes a Cage turns around quickly! OSAMU WITH A DROPKICK! BUT CAGE QUICKLY GRABS HIS LEGS BEFORE THE DROPKICK CONNECTS AS OSAMU FALLS FLAT ON HIS BACK! Osamu flailing around but quickly sends a kick right to his face pushing him back! Osamu getting up to his feet and going low trying to take down Cage! BUT CAGE! CAGE SIDESTEPPING WHATEVER OSAMU WAS GOING FOR AS HE GRABS HIM INTO A FRONT HEADLOCK!
Stew-O: MERCY RULE! ELEVATED BUTTERFLY DDT CONNECTS ON OSAMU AS HE CRUMBLES! CAGE WITH A NOD OF HIS HEAD AS HE BELIEVES HE TOOK OSAMU OUT AND WE’LL JUST HAVE TO SEE! CAGE QUICKLY GOING FOR THE PIN ON OSAMU! WILL THE MERCY RULE BE ENOUGH TO TAKE HIM OUT?!
(DING! DING! DING)
(‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ (Butch Vig Mix) plays up once more as Cage sits himself up to a knee. He cranks his head as he looks around as his heavy breathing begins to slow as he pulls himself up to his feet. The Ref raises his hand in victory before Cage jerks it away and continues to celebrate in victory. Osamu Arcichida sits up in pure confusion as he doesn’t even know what happened, he shakes his head as he rolls out of the ring in frustration of losing)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen here is your winner… CAGE!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: What a war we just witnessed. Both Cage and Osamu went at it practically trying to kill each other every chance they got. It was a fast-paced war but in the end, it was Cage that managed to take advantage and slip out of the tricky situation that Osamu got him into and connect with the patented Mercy Rule of his, to secure a victory.
Flannery McCoy: Cage is coming into Grand Rampage at full force as seen tonight. He’s going to give it his all in that ring to make sure he wins and he’s just shown no matter who tries to get in his way at his attempt to gain the Grand Rampage win, he will make sure to step over them. Congrats to Cage!
(Cage continues to celebrate as he’s up to the top rope pointing around at the empty arena for a moment before bumping his fist to his heart and rolling out of the ring. He makes his way up the ramp as Dynasty fades out to elsewhere)
(Dynasty’s broadcast fades into the backstage area of the empty Viejas Arena where Drake King is seen standing over a barren catering table, trying to find himself a tasty source of sustenance before the evening is over. He looks frustrated as he rummages through a bin of potato chips and other snack items, realizing that his fellow Dynasty Elitists have not left much for him. He settles for a bag of pretzels as his sister, Jessica, sneaks up behind him.)
Jessica Torres: Boo!
(Drake, startled, unintentionally rips open his bag of pretzels faster than he intended to, causing him to create a wide tear in the bag which results in his snack scattering across the arena floor. She begins to giggle, and he turns to glare at her, seething.)
Drake King: You can’t just go sneaking up on people in the middle of an empty arena, Jess, that was the last bag of pretzels! C’mon now!
Jessica Torres: (She blinks at him.) Relax. Nobody told you to wait until the last possible minute to check out the catering offerings. I’m surprised you even found anything at this point in the show. Don’t blame me because your last minute selections were slim.
Drake King: (He scoffs.) Yeah, whatever. Thanks a lot, as if I needed another thing in my life to go awry. Can’t even find a worthwhile snack.
Jessica Torres: Jeez, Drake, I’m sorry. If it means that much to you, I’ll buy you some more pretzels myself. Wholesale, so you’ll never run out!
(Drake simply rolls his eyes and goes to find another snack, his boots crunching over the hard salted pretzels on the ground. Jessica follows him.)
Jessica Torres: Wait a minute. No witty retort? This is bigger than pretzels, isn’t it?
Drake King: Not in the mood. I’m just–really hungry, Jess. Hangry, actually. I’ll feel better as soon as I get something in my stomach. It’s no big deal, don’t go worrying yourself.
Jessica Torres: C’mon, Drake. I know you. You haven’t been yourself lately.
Drake King: I told you, I’m just hungry.
Jessica Torres: I’m not talking about right this second, I mean in general. Over the past few weeks. I’ve been noticing some things–the way you’re interacting with people, the tone in your voice, even your promo vids are looking a little more smug than usual. If there’s something on your mind, you know you can always talk to me about it.
(Drake scoffs as he continues to rummage for another snack.)
Drake King: I promise you that I’m fine, Jess. Can you quit worrying? Yes, I may have a lot on my mind, but that’s just the price that I’ve decided to pay when I aimed to become #Drizzy2Belts. As if carrying the whole Dynasty roster on my back wasn’t enough, I have to carry EAW’s tag division as well. But I can’t expect you to fully understand that. This is all just part of the job. Nothing is wrong, nothing is out of the ordinary, I signed up for this. Now if you don’t mind, I was actually kind of looking forward to some alone time right now, so–
Jessica Torres: Of course. I know exactly what it is. It’s everything going on with you and Sierra.
Drake King: (He sighs and stops his searching.) It’s that obvious, huh?
Jessica Torres: Well, duh. I’m your sister, dummy, if anybody knows you well enough to read through your dramatic, egotistical, swell-headed monologues, it’s me. And if it means anything to you, Drake, I completely understand why you’re feeling the way you feel about having to face Sierra and her partner for your Tag Championship. Although it is a little sexist of you to be so worried about her physical well-being, she can take care of herself, y’know. She made it this far in the industry without you fretting about her injuries–
Drake King: So, did you come here to chastise me, or to make me feel better?
Jessica Torres: :lupe: I’m just saying. Most of your feelings are valid, you shouldn’t put your own wants aside just because everybody else is telling you to.
Drake King: (He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the catering table.) I don’t want to do this. I really don’t, Jess. What started off as some playful, immature joke by Viz has erupted into this massive rift between Sierra and I because now I’m going to have to show her up at Grand Rampage and that’s the last thing I want to do. I want her to be great, I would hate to stifle her in any way. Sure, she and I are good right now, but I can’t stop thinking about what might happen during the match, after the match–it’s probably the worst place to be as a couple.
Jessica Torres: Y’know, you say that this was just some simple prank that escalated, but did you ever think that maybe Viz was just acting selfishly? That it wasn’t just a “joke” or a “trolling” effort at all? That he might actually hope things between you and Sierra go south? That this has all been done for his benefit?
Drake King: What are you saying?
Jessica Torres: I think he’s playing you, Drake. Like a fiddle.
Drake King: (He scoffs.) No, no, no, look, I don’t like the guy that much most of the time, but I highly doubt that he’d do something like that. Viz just wants me to be the best tag team partner, and I understand that. I have to be supportive, I have to make sacrifices–for our legacy, for our titles. And as far as SASS goes, it would be wrong for me to deny them an opportunity like the one they have now. They get to go in the ring and learn from some of EAW’s very best: me and Visual Prophet. I can’t hold back, it’d be insulting if I did. Sierra sees this as a favor. I have to be the best competitor, I have to give her everything–because she wants me to. Look–maybe I was wrong before, there’s probably nothing to worry about regarding me and Sierra, it’s just some innocent competition between my girlfriend and I. Alright? I’m just overreacting and being dramatic like you said.
Jessica Torres: That is EXACTLY how Viz wants you to feel, Drake! He’s manipulating you! Trying to convince you that there’s nothing to worry about when that couldn’t be further from the truth, you have A LOT to consider! He’s using this entire bullshit spiel about being a good partner and being great tag team champions, and throwing huge celebrations like the one he did for you two weeks ago distract you from his actual plans. Just watch, he’s going to end up turning you against every single person in your life that you care about, starting with Sierra. And then when he inevitably isolates you, has total control over the way you think and maneuver, he’s going to strike. When you least expect it, Drake, this is classic, abusive narcissistic behavior–
Drake King: Would you just stop talking about things you know nothing about?! You don’t have the answers to this, Jess, quit trying to psycho-analyze my situation. And you can watch as much wrestling from the sidelines as you want, until you’ve worked as hard as I have, you have zero idea how this business works. Not from the perspective of someone as great as me, anyway. Quit acting like you know. You’re smart, and you’re overall very helpful but this is not your jurisdiction. I don’t need anybody else making decisions for me, or trying to confuse me by filling my head with all different kinds of wild theories. Especially not my nosy kid sister.
(Jessica sighs heavily and shakes her head defeatedly as she runs her hand through her pixie cut. She opens her mouth to speak again, but quickly shuts her mouth and turns to walk away from the catering table.)
Drake King: Jessica, I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean that–hangry, remember?
Jessica Torres: All I’m saying is…watch your back around him.
(The camera follows as Jessica walks away from Drake, over the crushed pretzels, and down the hallway. The final shot before our scene transitions is of Drake King, nodding slowly to himself while seemingly deep in thought.)
(Commercial break featuring an ad for Role Gold Tiny Twists Pretzels.)
(“I Gave You Power” by Nas hits, as Impact steps out onto the stage. He’s wearing a black and white EAW referee polo shirt, as he looks to the right side of the arena, then back over to the left before quickly popping his collar as he begins to walk down the ramp towards the ring)
Stephie Love: The following contest is set for ONE FALL!!! Introducing first! From Seattle Washington, He is the special guest referee.. IMPACT!!!!!!
Stew-O: Here comes the 9 time world champion. For those that aren’t aware, it was announced on Fight Grid earlier this week that Impact will be facing Serena Bennett at the Grand Rampage next week!
Flannery McCoy: What a match that will be. Both Serena Bennett and Impact have been going back and forth ever since Serena made her return to Dynasty. She’s been trying to get back at Sienna Jade but so far it has only been Jade’s husband, Impact, who has responded.
Jake Mercer: There has been a lot of words being traded back and forth between the two Elitists, but last week is when things started to get physical, as Serena Bennett interfered in Impact’s triple threat match against Sosa Henderson and Chris Elite. Impact and Bennett would eventually end up trading shots with one another until they took their fight to the backstage part of the arena.
Stew-O: With all of that said, there is no doubt in my mind that Impact is going to enjoy being the guest referee in this match. He gets to see his opponent for the Grand Rampage in action while being as close to the action as he could possibly be without needing to partake in any of it.
Flannery McCoy: And if Serena Bennett were to strike Impact at all during this match, he could end it right then and there. Impact has all of the power right now.
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac hits, as TLA steps out onto the stage in his ring attire. TLA points at Impact with a smirk on his face, as Impact looks back at him in disgust. TLA continues to walk down the ramp towards the ring)
Stephie Love: Making his way to the ring, from The Poon Palace in Miami, Florida… Weighing in at 210lbs.. LA PANTERA SEXUALLL… T!!!!! L!!!!! A!!!!!
Stew-O: As we talk about the buildup to Serena Bennett and Impact’s match for the Grand Rampage, we can’t forget this man right here. Remember, it was TLA who won the EAW World Heavyweight Championship from Impact back at House of Glass. TLA no longer holds the championship belt, but there’s no doubt that Impact still has the memory of that night cemented in his brain.
Flannery McCoy: On top of that, Serena Bennett was actually involved in that match as well, as she neutralized the playing field by taking the special guest referee for that match, Sienna Jade, out of the picture.
Jake Mercer: Neutralized? I thought Sienna did well calling the match down the middle. Same way Impact will do here tonight. You guys don’t give the Impact household the credit they deserve for their hard work.
Stew-O: I don’t know if that match happened so long ago that it messed with your memory, but I’ll make it easy on you by bringing up what happened last week with TLA. Something a little easier to remember due to the recency. Last week TLA and Cage went at it and had one hell of a fight against one another until the match was declared a draw after several Grand Rampage entrants from the Dynasty roster invaded their match. Both Cage and TLA were able to fight off those elitists, as they cleaned house and finished as the only two men left in the ring. TLA may not hold that world heavyweight championship anymore, but he’s on a mission to get it back. If he needs to take down Serena Bennett, the woman that helped him win the world heavyweight championship in the first place to get there, he’ll stop at nothing to do it.
(TLA enters the ring through the ring ropes as he walks across the ring and looks at Impact. TLA goes into a taunt for the camera and the fans watching at home, as we see Impact staring at the luchador with a disgust look on his face. The Tupac track eventually cuts.)
(“Surfin” by Kid Cudi featuring Pharrell Williams hits, as Serena Bennett steps out onto the stage! She begins to sing along with her theme song, as it is very likely, practically certain that all of her fans back home are singing with her. Serena skips her way down to the ring as she doesn’t take her eyes off of Impact.)
Stephie Love: And his opponent!! From Compton, California.. Weighing in at 114lbs.. SERENNAAAAAAAAAA BENNETTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!
Stew-O: And here’s the inaugural Universal Women’s Champion. She’s been pretty successful in the ring since returning to action. She defeated Korey Gaines last week and Ronan Malosi the week before, making both of them tap out.
Flannery McCoy: But the one she really wants is Sienna Jade. However, it’s that man in the black and white stripes who has been getting in her way. Impact has been getting under Serena Bennett’s skin, and before last week, Serena Bennett didn’t want to feed into Impact’s tactics. She stated that by striking the hall of famer, she would be giving him exactly what he wanted. However, as the night progressed last week, and a few words were said between the two, it got to the point where Serena Bennett couldn’t hold back any longer and needed to send a message to not only Impact, but Sienna Jade as well by getting involved in Impact’s triple threat match.
Stew-O: There’s a lot going on with this match right here, and I can’t wait to get it started. Serena Bennett looks ready to take on what looks to be her toughest match yet since returning, as she’s hopping up and down in the corner.
(Impact looks at Serena Bennett with a mean look on his face then back over to TLA. Impact then walks over to the side of the ring and looks over at the time keeper before calling for the bell)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Flannery McCoy: There’s the bell, as both TLA and Serena Bennett make their way over to the center of the ring! Kick to the stomach by TLA, as it connects onto Bennett! Serena bends over, as TLA pulls her in and connects with a strong elbow to Serena’s back as it lands right by her shoulder blades! TLA with another elbow shot! This time he follows it up by irish whipping Serena Bennett to the ropes! Serena Bennett bounces back! ARMDRAG BY TLA!!!!
Stew-O: Impressive armdrag takedown by the former world champion, as Bennett hits the canvas. She pops right back up, as TLA catches her with another Armdrag! Bennett again back to her feet before getting hit with a powerful right hook by TLA that catches her at the side of the face!
Jake Mercer: And now TLA with a left hook! Now a right handed punch to the abdomen! And another left jab! He follows that one up with a Mexican Uppercut that catches Bennett at the jaw, as she falls back against the corner!!
Stew-O: Those fast striking combos are tough for anyone to keep up with. TLA’s speed is something that causes a lot of problems for his opponets!
Flannery McCoy: And now TLA walks over to Serena Bennett in the corner! But it’s Bennett who kick keeps TLA away, as she connects with a kick of her own that lands directly at TLA’s abdomen. TLA takes a step back and clutches at his stomach in pain, but goes right back towards Bennett! Bennett with another kick!! This time it lands right under TLA’s chin, as he turns around and covers his lower face! Serena Bennett works her way up to the top rope, as TLA turns around!! DIVING CROSSBODY BY SERENA BENNETT!!!
Stew-O: It connects, as she plants TLA’s body straight to the canvas! Bennett gets back up to her feet as she runs to the far ropes! Bennett bounces back, as TLA gets up off the ground!! REEL IT IN!!! TILT-A-WHIRL HEAD SCISORS TAKEDOWN BY SERENA BENNETT AS SHE FLIPS TLA BEFORE HE FALLS BACK DOWN TO THE MAT!!
Jake Mercer: TLA lands in a seated position, as Serena Bennett runs right up to him and kicks him right in the chest! TLA instantly falls flat on the canvas, as Serena Bennett drops down and hooks the leg!!
Impact: ONEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! THR-
Flannery McCoy: And there’s the kickout by TLA!
Stew-O: So far, Impact has been doing pretty well calling this down the middle. Serena Bennett gives him a look, as she was expecting a slow count, or something similar to what Jade tried to pull back at House of Glass in October.
Jake Mercer: That’s not the case this time Stew. Nor was it last time. Do you really think a Hall of Famer like Impact cares about who wins this match between two Elitists that don’t even come close to matching up to the legacy and resume he has built for himself?
Stew-O: I don’t know, but what I do know is that Serena Bennett is bringing a fight to this match, as she stands up to her feet and looks ready to continue to strike her opponent! TLA turns onto his stomach and works up to his hands and knees. SERENA WITH A KICK TO THE ABDOMEN OF TLA!!!
Flannery McCoy: TLA rolls to the corner, as he sits against the bottom turnbuckles. Serena Bennett makes her way over to TLA, as she connects with a right hand to the top of his head. Serena now grabs his head and keeps it in place before connecting with headbutt right onto it!
Stew-O: That shot rocked the former world champ! Bennett now grabs TLA by the arm, as she pulls him up from out of the corner and irish whips him over to the other end! TLA crashes back first against the opposite turnbuckle, as Serena Bennett charges at him!
Jake Mercer: RUNNING KNEE STRIKE IN THE CORNER BY SERENA BENNETT!!
Flannery McCoy: NO!!! TLA GETS HIS BOOT UP, AS SERENA BENNETT RUNS FACE FIRST INTO IT! Bennett turns around and clutches at her face, but quickly puts her attention back onto TLA! Serena Bennett with a strong right hook onto TLA! And another! Now Serena Bennett grabs TLA by the head!! RUNNING BULLDOG FROM OUT OF THE CORNER BY SERENA BENNETT!!!
Stew-O: NO!!! TLA pushes Serena Bennett off just as she was going for the move. Bennett lands flat on her back! TLA climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He stands up and leaps into the air! THE 420!!!! THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS CONNECTS BY TLA!!! TLA stays on top, as he hooks Serena’s leg!!
Impact: ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! THREE-
Jake Mercer: And there’s the kickout by Serena Bennett this time!
Flannery McCoy: TLA gets back up to his feet, as he stands right next to Serena Bennett and connects with a standing moonsault! TLA back up to his feet on the other side of Bennett from where he was before, and he connects with another standing moonsault!! TLA again gets up to his feet and makes his way over to the side of the ring. He makes his way onto the ring apron by going through the ropes. He’s holding onto that top rope tight and uses it to launch himself in the air!!! SPRINGBOARD SPLASH!!!!!!
Stew-O: AND IT CONNECTS ONTO SERENA BENNETT!!! TLA WITH ANOTHER PIN ATTEMPT!!!
Impact: ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THREEE-
Flannery McCoy: And Serena Bennett gets her shoulder up once more! TLA gets back up to his feet, as he grabs Bennett’s legs! What is he thinking here? He crosses them, and turns her over..
Jake Mercer: IT’S THE AR15!!! The Texas Cloverleaf is locked in on Serena Bennett!! Her back is bending in ways that it shouldn’t! Serena Bennett is in so much pain right now! She’s trying to reach the ropes, as TLA continues to sit back even further while elevating the knees!
Stew-O: By elevating her knees and sitting back, TLA is applying more and more pressure on Bennett’s lower back!
Flannery McCoy: Serena Bennett is clutching at her hair! She’s frustrated trying to figure a way out of this painful maneuver by TLA!! Impact is checking on her, ready to call the match if Bennett isn’t able to continue!!
Jake Mercer: But look!! Serena Bennett is able to turn onto her back to take the pressure away from the hold! TLA still has both of Serena Bennett’s legs! But it’s Serena Bennett who kicks TLA off, as he falls to the mat! He gets back up to his feet, as Serena Bennett slowly makes it up to her hands and knees! She clutches at her lower back in pain!
Stew-O: And it’s TLA who connects with a powerful right hand to the side of Bennetts head. TLA grabs Serena Bennett by the hair, and brings her up to her feet! TLA still has Bennett by the hair, as he walks her over to the corner, and bashes her head against the top turnbuckle!! TLA takes a few steps back, as Serena leans against the corner!
Flannery McCoy: AND TLA CHARGES AT SERENA BENNETT WITH A RUNNING BODY SPLASH IN THE CORNER!!!!
Jake Mercer: BUT SERENA BENNETT MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND!! TLA CRASHES FACE FIRST AGAINST THAT TOP TURNBUCKLE!!!
Stew-O: TLA turns himself around, as he leans against back against the corner. Serena Bennett uses the side ropes to help herself get up to her feet. Bennett walks over to TLA in the corner! She hops up! MONKEY FLIP FROM OUT OF THE CORNER BY SERENA BENNETT AS SHE SENDS TLA FLYING ACROSS THE RING!!!!
Flannery McCoy: TLA lands hard, as now he begins to clutch at his lower back. He slowly gets up to his feet! He’s against the side ropes!
Jake Mercer: AND SERENA BENNETT CLOTHESLINES TLA, AS HE GOES OVER THE TOP ROPE AND LANDS DOWN AT THE GROUND AT RINGSIDE!!!
Stew-O: Serena Bennett looks over at Impact who clearly saw the impressive move she just connected on TLA. Meanwhile, TLA is slowly working his way back up to his feet on the outside!! Serena Bennett now turns around and runs to the far ropes! She bounces back! TLA standing up on the outside by the ring apron!! AND IT’S SERENA BENNETT WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE DROPKICK THAT SENDS TLA RIGHT INTO THE BARRICADE!!!
Flannery McCoy: TLA leans against that barricade that surrounds the ring! He takes a second, before he start to make his way back to the ring.
Stew-O: BUT LOOK!! IT’S SERENA WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA AS SHE LANDS DIRECTLY ONTO TLA!!! BOTH ELITIST ARE DOWN ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING!!!
Impact: One.. Two.. Three.. Four..
Jake Mercer: And both Elitists make it up to their knees. They are both slow to get up, but it’s Serena Bennett who gets to her feet first, as she connects with a strong right hand to the head of TLA just as he was getting up to his feet!! Serena Bennett now grabs TLA by the head and rolls him back into the ring! She follows him, as she slides back into the ring right after! Serena Bennett with the pin!
Impact: ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! THREEEEEE-
Stew-O: But TLA gets his shoulder up! Serena Bennett gets back up to her feet, as she turns TLA onto his stomach!! Serena steps over his body, and locks in THE CAMEL CLUTCH!! SERENA BENNETT IS PULLING BACK ON TLA’S HEAD AND NECK BY GRIPPING HIS CHIN!!! Bennett is stretching the abdomen while also compressing the lower spine and neck of TLA!!!
Jake Mercer: TLA is now screaming in pain! He’s waving his arms around trying to reach for some ring ropes, but he’s nowhere near them!
Flannery McCoy: Serena continues wrestling back, but TLA quickly works his way out of the hold as he desperately needed to! He gets his knees under his body, as he slowly stands up to his feet with Serena Bennett on his back!! She’s in a piggy back position on his back, as TLA rams her back first into the corner turnbuckle!!! Serena instantly lets go of TLA, as he takes a few steps out of the corner! Serena Bennett does the same as she stumbles forward from the impact!
Stew-O: CARTEL KICK!!! The Pele kick by TLA connects onto Serena Bennett, as she falls back against the side ropes! She bounces back, as TLA get back to his feet! HURRICANRANA BY TLA!!! It connects, as he sends Serena Bennett flying across the ring! She lands at the other end, as her head and arms rest over the middle rope!!!
Flannery McCoy: TLA looks at Serena Bennett and sees the position she’s in. You know what he’s got in mind!! TLA bounces off the ropes and charges at Serena Bennett!!! 3!!!! 0!!! 5!!!! THE TIGER FEINT KICK CONNECTS!!!! IT POPS SERENA BENNETT UP, AS SHE’S STANDING GROGGY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! TLA grabs the top rope, and uses it to launch himself up!! SPRINGBOARD DRAGONRANA BY TLA!!!!!!
Jake Mercer: NO!!!! SERENA BENNETT COUNTERS WITH THE CAPTAIN HOOK!! SHE JUST CONNECTED WITH A NASTY UPPERCUT WHILE TLA WAS IN MID AIR!!!! TLA INSTANTLY CRASHES DOWN TO THE CANVAS, AS SERENA BENNETT COVERS!!
Impact: ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
Jake Mercer: Another kickout by TLA!!!
Stew-O: Serena Bennett almost had the match won right there, but TLA isn’t going down that easily!
Flannery McCoy: Serena Bennett slowly gets to her feet. She turns TLA onto his stomach, as she hooks her leg around his!! She falls back!! SERENITY!!!!! IT’S THE INVERTED INDIAN DEATHLOCK FACELOCK!!! SHE HAS IT LOCKED IN TIGHT!!!!
Stew-O: Serena Bennett has her powerful submission hold locked in tight, as TLA is reaching for the ropes! Serena Bennett doing all she can to finish TLA off right here!!
Jake Mercer: It looks like Impact is checking in on TLA right now! This match may be reaching the end right here!!
Impact (Off-Mic): Do you quit?!?!
TLA (Off-Mic): NO ESE!!! NOT TODAY!!!! NOT EVER!!!!
Flannery McCoy: AND LOOK AT TLA!!! He’s army crawling his way to the ropes with a bridging Serena Bennett on top of him! He’s getting closer and closer! He’s almost there!!! He’s reaching…
Stew-O: AND TLA GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE!!! Serena Bennett is forced to let go of the hold!!!
Jake Mercer: That was a close one for TLA, as Serena Bennett could have forced the submission if she had a few more seconds with that hold!
Stew-O: TLA is down, as Serena Bennett lays right beside him. She’s breathing heavy, as she put all of her strength in that move! She really wanted that to be the end of it!
Flannery McCoy: Yeah, but the fight in TLA kept him in this match. It’s going to take a lot more than that to make him quit here tonight!
Stew-O: Serena Bennett slowly gets up onto her hands and knees, then up to her feet. She looks exhausted as she walks over to TL-
Jake Mercer: EVISCERATION!!!!!!!!!!
Stew-O: IMPACT JUST HIT HIS DOUBLE KNEE FACEBUSTER ONTO SERENA BENNETT OUT OF NOWHERE!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!
Flannery McCoy: TLA saw exactly what happened, as he’s using the ring ropes to slowly get up to his feet! TLA looks as confused as ever! He looks at Impact, as Impact shows no emotion whatsoever!
Stew-O: TLA slowly makes his way over to Serena Bennett. It looks like he’s going to go for the pin!
Jake Mercer: BUT IMPACT TURNS TLA AROUND BEFORE HE CAN DROP DOWN FOR THE PIN!!! EVISCERATION!!!!! ANOTHER DOUBLE KNEE FACEBUSTER!!! THIS TIME ONTO TLA!!!! BOTH SERENA BENNETT AND TLA ARE KNOCKED OUT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING, AS REFEREE IMPACT LOOKS DOWN AT BOTH BODIES!!!
Stew-O: Impact reaches down and grabs TLA’s arm! He pulls his arm, as he places it on top of Serena Bennett’s body for the pin
Impact: ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac hits, as Impact stands up and looks down at both Serena Bennett and TLA. Both competitors still unconscious, as Impact quickly lifts TLA’s arm signaling that he won, before tossing his arm back down onto Serena Bennett. Impact unbuttons his referee polo shirt, and rolls out of the ring.)
Stephie Love: Here is your winner… T!!!! L!!!! A!!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: What a match between TLA and Serena Bennett. Unfortunately it had to be spoiled by the special guest referee here tonight.
Jake Mercer: Here we go again with you trying to blame the referee. He played it fair. He hit the evisceration on both of the competitors in this match. You can’t say he was being biased.
Flannery McCoy: Biased or not, Impact got involved when he shouldn’t have.
Stew-O: Whatever the case it, Impact sent a message to both Serena Bennett and TLA here tonight. Bennett and Impact will fight it out against one another next weekend at the Grand Rampage, but right now it is safe to say that Impact is winning the mental game between the two.
Flannery McCoy: We’ll see how Serena Bennett responds when they compete against one another at the Grand Rampage. This is a match that has been being built up for months with all of the things that has happened that involve Impact and Bennett. If Serena didn’t want a piece of Impact before, she definitely does now.
(Impact is seen looking back at the ring, as TLA and Serena Bennett are down on the mat next to each other facing the 9 time world champion. Both TLA and Bennett are conscious but struggle to find the strength to get up after being hit by the evisceration at the end of a draining match against one another. The camera shows TLA with an upset look on his face as he did not want to win this way. Serena Bennett with a frustrated look as she stares at Impact. And Impact looking back at both competitors with a smirk on his face as he is proud of what he just did. The screen eventually fades to black)
(The scene opens up, as we get a closeup visual of the New Breed Championship. The camera pans out, as we see that the title is resting on a locker room bench. Next to it is a rolling tray with marijuana and raw joint papers. As the camera zooms out, we see Justin Windgate rolling a joint over the tray. He’s focused because he wants to pearl the joint, then a sound is heard coming from the door)
(KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!)
Justin Windgate: (Still rolling his joint) One second!
(The knocking continues again, this time much louder, and done with tremendous force. Justin Windgate sets his joint down on his rolling tray, grabs his New Breed Championship, and tosses it up onto his shoulder. Windgate then makes his way over to the door, as the knocking again continues and gets even louder)
Justin Windgate: What the fuck.. Chill, I’m coming..
(Windgate opens up the door, as we see Jalyn Garcia standing right outside.)
Justin Windgate: Wait.. What are you doing here?
Jalyn Garcia: I’ve got a few things to get off my chest before our match at the Grand Rampage. I figured since you didn’t get scheduled a match this week, you’d have time to talk.
Justin Windgate: Uhh.. Yeah, no doubt.. But how’d you know I was here?
Jalyn Garcia: I could smell your marijuana the second I stepped into the arena.
Justin Windgate: Facts.
(Jalyn Garcia steps into the locker room and begins to look around)
Jalyn Garcia: Wow, this isn’t a bad locker room. Not at all. Not to the standards of Voltage, but this is pretty nice. You have this one all to yourself?
Justin Windgate: Alright, quit the buddy buddy talk. Don’t think I forgot about what you said to me on Voltage two weeks ago, and then after my match on Dynasty last week. What’s the deal? Why are you here?
(Jalyn Garcia looks down at the ground for a second with a smile on his face. He looks back up at Windgate, and begins to speak)
Jalyn Garcia: I did talk a little trash didn’t I? Well Justin, to make a long story short, I’m just here to wish you good luck next week at The Grand Rampage.
Justin Windgate: What? Good luck?! You think you can call me a bitch to my face last week, then wish me good luck right now? Nah, it doesn’t work like that. I don’t need luck from someone like you..
Jalyn Garcia: Someone like me? Someone like me!?! A couple weeks ago, it was me who went a little overboard and you called me out on bringing negative energy to our conversation. Now look at you. You’ve got me doing nothing but wishing you luck, yet you decide to go overboard yourself by doing the exact same thing. Hypocritical much, wouldn’t you agree..
Justin Windgate: I don’t agree because the situations are completely different. I have a reason to dislike you. After what you said to me when I was down and out, you’re lucky that I even let you step into this locker room.. The only reason I did is because I don’t hide from my opponents behind the walls of the locker room. I step up and face them. Just like I did right here with you, and just like I will with the next Elitist that earns themselves a shot at MY New Breed Championship..
(A slight smirk appears on Jalyn’s face as he is seen staring right at the New Breed Championship resting on Justin Windgate’s shoulder)
Jalyn Garcia: You know, as much as you may hate to hear this.. You and I very similar.
(Justin is seen with a confused look on his face, as Jalyn has caught his attention)
Justin Windgate: How so?
Jalyn Garcia: You know, once upon a time there was a moment in EAW history where you were looked at as nothing but a failure. Your entire first run here was a complete failure, and it took you 8 long years to find the courage to come back to this company and establish yourself. Justin, I’m similar in the fact that my first run wasn’t that impressive either. I had a whole lot of potential, but I was unable to capitalize. I had taken time off, but when you fast forward a few months, I found myself back in EAW. Not only that, but during my brief time back, I managed to secure my spot on the Grand Rampage card as the number one contender for that New Breed Championship. I get that it didn’t take me almost a decade to return, but I didn’t need 10 years. I came back to EAW to do the exact same thing that you did. To reinvent myself. To bring a greater meaning to the name “Jalyn Garcia.” I failed to reach success in my first run, and now that I’ve taken the time to sit back and think things through, I’m ready. I’m older, wiser, and simply better than I was before. Just like you, I was a kid that needed to get hit with the reality of life before truly understanding what needed to be done in order to succeed in this business.. Now I understand. And at the Grand Rampage, you and everyone else is going to see that when I turn the New Breed Classic into just a Classic figure in the EAW History Books..
Justin Windgate: A classic figure huh? Well Jalyn, as much as you want this comeback story to finish with a happily ever after, I’m doing whatever it takes to prevent that. Like you said, I managed to reinvent myself. I have managed to do what you haven’t yet. And I say “yet” because I do truly believe you’ll get there, but not at the expense of me and my New Breed Championship. I’ve experienced the likes of hungry competitors like yourself trying to claw and rip away this championship belt from me. I’ve been here before. I’ve been in this atmosphere multiple times already, and if there is anyone entering this match between us that is ready… It’s me..
Jalyn Garcia: And that’s where you’re wrong Windgate. I don’t know if you know this yet, but you aren’t the same Justin Windgate that you were before. The fire in your eyes has dimmed. You may think it hasn’t, but it has. The man that you are is just another champion who’s flourishing with his title reign. Your face has been placed on EAW Graphics and promotional banners for FPVs. You’ve competed in multiple main event matches since you’ve won that belt. You don’t even have to worry about money anymore during this pandemic, as you’re still living off of your $100,000 winnings from Road to Redemption. You’re living the life. That chip on your shoulder.. That edge.. It’s all gone. The underdog known as Justin Windgate has nothing to prove anymore, as he’s been sitting at the top of his division for months now. And while you’ve been sitting comfortably at the top of this New Breed Division, I’ve been fighting my way up the ranks in order to dethrone you.. You took a sorry loss to The Visual Prophet last week. Another loss to Angel De Plata Jr. a couple weeks before.. And you still haven’t learned how to get over the hump when facing the likes of Darcy May Morgan. I don’t see progression from you anymore Justin. It’s as if you won that championship and have been given the luxury of facing opponents that aren’t near the standard that you swear you have elevated the New Breed Division up to…. But it’s okay, because once you and I finish our match and I walk out with that belt, I’m going to do exactly what you failed to do. I’m going to elevate the division myself.. You had a nice little run going, but it’s time for me to end it next weekend.
Justin Windgate: You don’t think I have the same fire in my eyes? Maybe they’re a little low because of the weed I’ve been smoking, but the fire is still there. Don’t act like I’m not the one that put my life on the line at Reckless Wiring to retain this belt. Don’t act like I didn’t go to war twice by surviving two triple threat matches where the odds were stacked against me. Don’t act like none of that happened. I’m the reigning New Breed Champion for a reason, and I don’t care how hungry you are, you aren’t even good enough to eat the scraps off of my plate..
(Jalyn Garcia steps up to Justin Windgate, as both Elitist stand head to head)
Jalyn Garcia: You really think that?!
Justin Windgate: I know that..
Jalyn Garcia: This is the energy that I want from you Justin.. That way, when I take that belt and make it my own, at least you’ll know that you gave it your all in your last match as champion.. You’ll complete your reign with no regrets other than the fact that you doubted someone as hungry and determined as me. Enjoy these final days as champ. Enjoy being relevant… Because the days are numbered.. And my time is coming..
(The camera zooms out, as Jalyn Garcia and Justin Windgate are still staring down one another. Justin Windgate raises his New Breed Championship in the air before the scene eventually fades back to ringside.)
Stephie Love: The following contest is your MAIN EVENT MATCH OF THE EVENING!!!
Stephie Love: And it’s scheduled for ONE FALL!….
(‘Invincible’ by Pop Smoke begins to play as Chris Elite makes his way out bobbing his head to his theme as he looks around to the empty seats all around the arena, he cracks a smirk at this knowing that he’s the reason that everyone in the company is COVID-19 protected. He strolls down the ramp toward the ring. )
Stephie Love: Introducing first…He hails from Brooklyn New York, weighing in at TWO HUNDRED TEN POUNDS… He’s GAWD GIVEN GREATNESS!!!….CHRIS!!!!!!! ELITE!!!!!!!
Stew-O: Welcome back folks at home! Thank you for tuning in, we’ve had another action packed show for you this evening, and now we bring to you our main event! Chris Elite, who we learned recently was using the power of his Gawd Contract to make himself a title match, and he chose to go after one of unlikeliest of titles in the National Elite Championship! But in a moment, he’ll be in action against another title contender in Lethal Consequences!
Flannery McCoy: And let’s not forget, Chris Elite has signed another contract involving himself and Cage, one that prohibits either man from touching each other outside an actual match. That’s going to be an exciting matchup when that time comes around. However, yes, tonight he has a two time Hall of Famer in LC that has made his intentions known of how we wishes to be the World Heavyweight Champion, so we know he’s going to take whatever momentum he can into that match! Can Chris Elite make the success he was looking for by leaving Showdown happen? That is the question!
Jake Mercer: Who cares why he’s here, Flannery, because the ratings killer was those idiots that now have to sit at home! Chris Elite and LC are here to raise them up, and that’s exactly why they’re here!
(‘Friend vs Friend’ by Company Flow begins to play as Lethal Consequences shoots out of the curtains, mockingly taunting into the air at nobody, exuding confidence as he methodically makes his way down the ramp now. Chris Elite is shown leaning against the ropes in his corner, looking on with an amused expression.)
Stephie Love: Introducing his opponent making his way down the aisle…He hails from Oakland California, weighing in at TWO HUNDRED THIRTY POUNDS… He’s THE INEVITABLE!!!…LETHAL!!!!!!! CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!!
Stew-O: And here comes a man that’s been out of the main event for sometime now, but he’s certainly got a big opportunity to right in front of him to ensure these appearances don’t come far and few between! He got a huge victory over the current King Of Elite, The Visual Prophet at Reckless Wiring, and now he’s looking to repeat that result by taking down his Unified Tag Team Champion partner, the current World Heavyweight Champion, Drake King!
Flannery McCoy: Well, whether he can remains to be seen! He’s got Chris Elite tonight, who will no doubt be thinking along the same lines as LC, and that’s to make a statement going into the Grand Rampage. Kassidy Heart is no pushover in the least, so we know both competitors will be giving a lot tonight looking for that sweet taste of victory!
Jake Mercer: Pish posh! LC has been in the game for a long ass time. He knows the name of the game by now, and we all know he prefers the spotlight and that he’ll do anything to get that spotlight even if he had to go through the devil himself!
(View shows LC posing to nobody mockingly while Chris Elite is loosening up for a moment in his corner.)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: Is it just me, or do you get the sense that both of these men feel they have something to prove in this match? Both men are certainly not shying away from the trash talk. Flannery?
Flannery McCoy: There’s definitely a feeling that both of these men would like nothing more than a decisive victory to make a point, a statement if you will, to their respective opponents come Grand Rampage! You know the National Elite Champion, Kassidy Heart and the World Heavyweight Champion, Drake King will be watching this match. They’ll be scouting their respective challengers. Both men begin to slowly move in on each other! Look at this! LC asking for Chris Elite to put his hands up in a test of strength! You don’t really think he’s going to go for this do you?
Jake Mercer: Usually this is where those idiots that are now confined to their homes are buzzing wondering what decision he’s going to make, trying to sway him. Chris Elite can’t be swayed! I KNEW IT! CROTCH CHOP BY ELITE! LC CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT HE JUST SAW!
Chris Elite: Suck my dick!
Stew-O: Chris Elite follows that obscene gesture by launching a kick to the midsection to LC, who didn’t expect that at all. Chris Elite forces LC into the corner, now Elite starts laying some stiff shots in on LC! Now Chris Elite sends LC off the ropes but LC quickly reverses the momentum and sends Chris Elite to the ropes but LC follows Chris to and meets him with a high knee, and then LC pulls the carpet out from under Chris Elite by kicking his footing out sending Chris to the canvas! And now LC bares down with a blatant choke right in front of the referee, who’s admonishing LC!
LC: You shut your mouth! I’m Inevitable and you’re nobody!
Flannery McCoy: Elite holding his throat as LC forces him up to his feet and throws him to the outside, and then follows him out! And LC is certainly no shortage of trash talking himself as he takes Elite’s head and smashes it into the barricade on the outside! Lots of intensity behind every action, looking to send a statement! LC is on fire, until now! Chris Elite has had enough, as he begins to block the attempts of LC! Gouge to the eyes by Chris Elite, and LC is temporarily blinded as he staggers away. Neither one of these guys really showing desire to respect the rules, and the referee seems to be giving them some leeway as he stops his ring out count at five, and rightfully so. People want to see a winner!
Jake Mercer: Who needs rules when some of the most memorable bouts in this company’s history happened when the rules were thrown out! Clothesline by Chris Elite that sends LC tumbling over the ring steps to the floor on the opposite side! Chris Elite climbs up on the barricade! He’s measuring LC as LC is slowly rising back to his feet, unaware, something he’s very good at in these situations!
Chris Elite: Come on, hurry to your feet slow old man! You ain’t shit!
Stew-O: LC is back to his feet and he has a back turned but that doesn’t stop Chris Elite from leaping off the barricade! He grabs LC and delivers a modified Spanish Fly! Chris hit the mat hard but the move did it’s damage! LC is down and back on his back again! Both men laid out, but it’s Chris Elite who stirs first as he slowly begins sitting up! And you can tell the same thing is on Chris Elite’s mind as he slowly gets back to his feet here! He’s looking to send a message to the current National Elite Champion, who honestly could get involved in this match, I’m sure, if it moved her enough just as was the case last week when she saw no issue at all trading blows with the Challenger to her title, Chris Elite!
Flannery McCoy: That’s certainly a good point to make as we see Chris Elite roll LC back into the ring! And we get the first cover of the match!
Ref: ONE!!!! TW-
Jake Mercer: And a kickout by LC as we see Chris Elite apply a headlock to LC! The referee checking to see if LC is still in this, which he is, as he thrashes his arms around a little but he understands this will play into Chris Elite’s hands! LC is slowly getting to a knee, however, and begins to grab for the head of Elite who’s still holding on with this headlock, he’s got something in mind here…and LC drops down and he takes Elite down with him. Jawbreaker! Chris Elite falls back and LC has bought himself some room, a little bit of time to gather himself. Chris Elite rolling away from the attack of LC who’s back to his feet suddenly and Elite crawls to the corner where LC sticks a boot to the throat of Elite, and the referee right there to count!
Ref: ..THREE! FOUR! FIVE! THAT’S ENOUGH LC! COME ON!
Stew-O: Chris Elite slowly raises himself in the corner! Knife edged chop by LC to Chris Elite! And another! Chris Elite whipped to the ropes! LC swings, looking for a lariat on Elite as his momentum brings him back but Elite ducks that! LC turns into a roundhouse kick! Elite smirks as he rebounds off the ropes and comes back with 44Bulldog! The shotgun dropkick connects as LC was trying to meet Elite! Elite with a bit of theatrics after that dropkick! Elite quickening the pace that we’re all accustomed to, LC knocked into the corner with that dropkick! Here comes Elite again! 357! The running double knee facebuster to LC as he was subdued in that corner, but LC moves out of the way in a nick of time and Chris Elite goes crashing into the corner turnbuckle! Chris falls to the canvas writhing in obvious pain after colliding with the corner turnbuckle! That’s one way to slow someone’s momentum, get them to make a mistake!
LC: You couldn’t beat me two years ago, and you won’t do shit now! Extreme will always beat Elite!
Flannery McCoy: LC still trash talking Chris Elite, something both of these men can’t get enough of! The sound of their own voices, two polarizing figures here on Dynasty! And a running clothesline by LC takes Chris Elite over the top rope where he tumbles to the floor at ringside! LC steps outside on the apron as Elite is trying use the barricade to help him up! LC hops to the floor, and now both men trading shots with each other! A wild swing by LC misses it’s intended target and his momentum nearly takes him over the barricade but he’s able to avoid such a predicament! He turns right into a flying clothesline by Chris Elite that takes them both over the barricade into the area usually reserved for the fans that’s noticeably empty! Both men are trying to recover, but folks there’s no padding out there, no give! The referee just on the otherside of the barricade yelling for both men to bring it back to the ring! Both men rise to their feet! LC strikes first with a rolling wheel kick that sends Chris Elite back over the barricade to ring side, and still managed to avoid falling on concrete in the process! LC makes his way up on to the barricade to a standing position as Elite makes his way back to his feet, staggered and all, and LC with a double axe handle smash that’s sidestepped by Chris Elite! Roundhouse kick by Elite, NO! It’s caught by LC, and LC swings the leg away and follows it up with yet another running lariat that takes Chris Elite back down to the ground! Now LC laying into Chris Elite with repeated stomps to the chest and midsection area, this match hasn’t really been a very scientific type of match to say the least!
Jake Mercer: No. No it hasn’t, and we shouldn’t expect it to be when you got two men that have future title matches that they are looking to take full advantage of, matches where the rules will be just as lax as this if not more and why wait to make those adjustments when you can make them now? Both men clearly don’t want to be caught off guard come Grand Rampage, but they’ve been there so many times it’s hard to fathom that they won’t have all their ducks in a row when time arrives! Not to take anything away from the champions, but it’s clear the challengers are looking to size themselves up for gold once again and in their minds this would be the best time to do it! Now Chris Elite being rolled back into the ring, and LC making his way to the top turnbuckle! Chris Elite back to his feet, and flying crossbody by LC right into a pinfall attempt!
Ref: ONE!!!! TWO!!!!
Stew-O: And a kickout this time by Chris Elite! And LC showing a bit of frustration, and he decides to take it out on Chris by mounting him and laying some stiff blows into the skull of Chris! LC has got Chris Elite up, looking for the Rose Pedal-the swinging reverse STO, but Chris counters it into a small package!
Ref: ONE!!!! TWO!!!!
Flannery McCoy: And LC kicks out right at the count of two, and both men are quickly back to their feet! Euro uppercut by LC, and another! LC has Chris right where he wants him! He’s going for the FLASHBACK! THE SLEEPER SLAM BACKBREAKER, BUT CHRIS ELITE BATTLING OUT WITH SOME HARSH ELBOWS TO THE HEAD WHICH MAKES LC RELEASE CHRIS! CHRIS HAS LC NOW AND HE’S LOOKING FOR THE FACE VALUE, THAT HAMMERLOCK DDT! LC SHOVES CHRIS OFF! LCR – THE SPINNING ELBOW FINISHER OF LC! BUT CHRIS ELITE AVOIDS THE CONNECTION! HEAD SHOT! THE PELE KICK IS DODGED BY LC! LC GRABS CHRIS ELITE AND DROPS DOWN TAKING CHRIS DOWN WITH HIM AND BRINGS HIS LEG OVER CHRIS’ HEAD AND LOCKS IN THE PLUMA BLANCA! THAT KOJI LEG CHOKE! CHRIS ELITE SCRAMBLING TRYING TO GET FREE HERE! THIS COULD BE DEVASTATING AND CHRIS LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO TAP! THE REFEREE IS RIGHT THERE TO SEE IF CHRIS WANTS TO SUBMIT!
LC: WHAT NOW PUSSY!!?? COME ON BIG BHRIS!! LET ME HEAR YOU MOAN LIKE A BITCH!!
Jake Mercer: THIS WOULDN’T SERVE WELL FOR CHRIS AT ALL GOING INTO GRAND RAMPAGE IF HE LOSES HERE! LC WRENCHING NOW! BUT CHRIS IS TRYING TO BLOCK OUT THE PAIN, HE’S RESISTING THE URGE TO SUBMIT FOR NOW! INSTEAD HE’S USING HIS UPPER BODY STRENGTH TO PUSH HIMSELF OFF THE CANVAS! COUNTER! CHRIS ELITE JUST USED HIS STRENGTH TO ROLL HIMSELF AND LC OVER! LC STILL HAS THE HOLD APPLIED BUT CHRIS IS IN THE ROPES NOW AND HE’S USING THOSE ROPES TO ESCAPE TO THE OUTSIDE! HE MADE IT! HE’S A HERO FOR SAVING US ALL FROM GETTING THE CORONAVIRUS, AND HE’S RESILIENT! WHAT A MAN!
Stew-O: LC is arguing with the referee now, telling him that Chris Elite submitted and that he should have his hand raised right now, but the referee is telling LC that this wasn’t the case! This is giving Chris Elite ample time to recover on the outside! The referee begins his count as Chris Elite is using the ring apron to pull himself up! Here comes LC, but Chris Elite trips up LC! LC falls back and Chris Elite grabs him by his legs and pulls him toward the ringpost, and LC is trying to escape, but Chris Elite has him! And that definitely might affect his ability to make little LCs! Chris Elite crotched LC on the ringpost, that had to hurt!
Flannery McCoy: LC is worse for wear, and that’s being polite about it! Chris Elite up on the apron now as LC slowly makes his way up to his feet, but he still appears to be favoring down below the belt area! Chris Elite has been mixing things up between brawling outside and showing pure artistry in the ring in this match, and he’s now hopped up to the top rope and he leaps off and he locks the wrist of LC! THE ELITE CUTTER FROM THE TOP ROPE EXECUTED TO PERFECTION! AND ELITE WITH ANOTHER COVER! THIS TIME MORE AGGRESSIVELY HOOKING THE LEG!
Ref: ONE!!!! TWO!!!! THR-
Jake Mercer: Not so fast, LC is still alive in this one! But Chris Elite is not too fazed by that! It takes more than that to faze Gawd Given Greatness!
Stew-O: You can see Chris is looking to keep the pace in his favor here, trying to keep LC off balance! Chris Elite setting up in the corner as LC is looking to get back to his feet. He doesn’t see where Chris is at just yet! And now he does, but does he have time to react? Here comes Chris Elite with the Who Shot Ya! That penalty kick, but LC avoids the contact! Chris Elite misses on the connection with the Who Shot Ya, and LC back to his feet! Step up enzigiri by LC that knocks Chris Elite into the ropes, LC looks to follow up but Chris Elite anticipating this moves and instead grabs LC and drops his momentum on the top rope! LC is taken by surprise! BOX OFFICE SMASH! THE SUPERKICK BY CHRIS ELITE! IT’S CAUGHT BY LC! LC KNOCKS THE ATTEMPT AWAY! LCR! THE SPINNING ELBOW ATTACK OF LC MISSES IT’S MARK AGAIN AS CHRIS ELITE DUCKS IT! ELITE WITH A COUPLE OF HARD SWINGING CLOSED FIST SHOTS FOLLOWED BY A SHOOT KICK AND NOW A BACK FIST AND NOW THE LARIAT! 5 BOROUGH COMBO! DOWN GOES LC! CHRIS ELITE IS NOW OUTSIDE ON THE APRON READY TO CLIMB UP TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! BUT LC IS GETTING BACK UP AND HE SEES THIS! LC RUNS TO THE CORNER BEFORE CHRIS COULD CLIMB TO THE TOP! FOREARM BY LC TO CHRIS ELITE! NOW SHOT LANDED BY CHRIS ELITE! AND ANOTHER! NOW ELITE GRABS LC FORCES HIS FACE INTO THE TOP ROPE AND RUNS IT ALONG THE TOP ROPE!
Flannery McCoy: That’s gonna burn! LC didn’t take to that too well, and now Chris Elite climbs to the top turnbuckle! He’s measuring LC now, LC turning around right into flying crossbody by Elite! But LC counters and rolls into a pin attempt! Elite’s shoulders are down!
Ref: ONE!!!! TWO!!!!
Jake Mercer: Elite gets a shoulder up! LC immediately begins to slap the mat in disgust! Chris Elite sits up now, and LC lands a blow on Elite from a sitting position but Elite retaliates with a shot of his own! And another shot from LC, and a retaliation from Chris Elite! Now both keep trading shots back and forth! Now finally a knife edged chop by LC, and now Chris Elite with an uppercut to LC that staggers the two time Hall of Famer! LC coming back but Chris catches him! He’s got him, and a belly to belly suplex by Elite! Standing moonsault by Chris Elite! And a cover! He’s got him!
Ref: ONE!!!! TWO!!!! THRE-
Stew-O: LC recovering quickly knowing he was almost pinned right there! Chris Elite looks for the axe kick but LC side steps the attempt! Irish whip of Chris Elite, it’s reversed by Elite though but he doesn’t let go, instead he pulls LC in right into a roundhouse kick! LC ducks it, and there it is! LCR!!!! SPINNING BACK ELBOW NAILS ELITE RIGHT SOLID IN THE FACE AND HE FALLS AND LC FALLS INTO THE PIN ON CHRIS ELITE!!!
Ref: ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!! THREE!
LC: GOD DAMNIT!!! COUNT FASTER!!! THAT WAS THREE!!!
Flannery McCoy: LC obviously frustrated, and getting more so by the moment. Now both men are back to their feet, and LC is the first to strike! But Chris Elite blocks the forearm and shoves LC away, and that leaves just enough room to deliver the BOX OFFICE SMASH!!! THE SUPERKICK CONNECTS RIGHT SQUARE TO THE CHIN OF LC WHO FALLS BACK! Chris Elite falls to a knee, he’s-aww! Come on, what is this!!??
Jake Mercer: IT’S ONLY THE GREATEST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION WE’VE EVER HAD! IT’S DRAKE KING!!! DRAKE’S HERE TO MAKE THIS MATCH THAT MUCH MORE EXCITING!
(Drake King is shone wearing his Unified Tag Team Championship belt around his waist while having the World Heavyweight Championship draped over his shoulder. He mostly has a serious look on his face but still manages to flash a smirk as him and Chris Elite lock eyes with each other. Drake makes his way to ringside.)
Stew-O: Others would certainly argue that point, I’m sure. LC is still down, but Chris Elite has spotted Drake! He’s taken some exception to the fact that Drake has decided to make this untimely appearance!
Chris Elite: Da Fuck you want Drake Queen? You know you don’t want none of this!
Drake King: You bring no interest to me at this time, and really if you wanna talk about who doesn’t want a piece of who the last time we met it was you who wrote the checks you were in no place to cash!
Chris Elite: You wanna do it let’s do it right now!
Drake King: You would want that, wouldn’t you. Always looking for more attention than you actually deserve.
Flannery McCoy: Well, there’s definitely no love loss between Drake King and Chris Elite from the past encounters they’ve had when both were on Showdown, and now they’re seemingly reviving it here on Dynasty! Drake King has gotten up on the apron, what’s he gonna do here!!?? Both he and Chris Elite are jawing back and forth, neither being able to get the edge over the other in this argument! LC seems as though he’s recovered and he’s seen enough! He also looks like he’s taking exception to the fact that Drake is here, but launches himself at Chris Elite instead! Chris avoids the contact and LC connects with a huge forearm to the face of the World Heavyweight Champion! Drake falls from the apron crashing to the floor! LC talks some trash to his Grand Rampage opponent! Drake looks beyond angry of how his plan backfired, and that LC got the best of that exchange!
Jake Mercer: Nooooooo!!! LC what are you doing? Doesn’t he understand how important this man is, and who knows what his intentions were! He may have been out here to help LC, you never know! And now he can’t do that! LC and Chris Elite lock up, LC looking for a DDT but Chris Elite counters by tripping up LC! LC falls to the canvas, Chris Elite looking for some sort of submission maneuver here it seems.
Stew-O: Meanwhile Drake King has risen back to his feet and in frustration makes his way to the timekeeper’s area and orders Stephie Love to get out of the seat, he’s definitely got bad intentions at this point! In the ring LC kicks Elite back and gets back to his feet! But that was enough to knock the referee to the canvas and out of the scene! LC is beaten to the punch however as Chris Elite throws a few forearms to the face of LC! LC is staggered! Irish whip by Chris Elite but it’s reversed by LC at the last moment!
Flannery McCoy: CHRIS ELITE CRUMBLES TO THE CANVAS AFTER THAT DEVASTATING CHAIR SHOT BY DRAKE KING! GTJ!!! AND DRAKE IS ABSOLUTELY LIVID RIGHT NOW! LC MAKES THE COVER AND THE REFEREE HAS NOW SHAKEN THE COBWEBS AND HE’S IN POSITION TO MAKE THE COUNT!!! NOT LIKE THIS!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(‘Friend vs Friend’ picks back up as Lethal Consequences rises to a sitting position long enough for the referee to raise his hand awarding him the victory before he yanks it away and wastes no time rolling out of the ring. He begins to backpedal up the ramp, signaling that the World Title is gonna be his while the World Heavyweight Champion looks on in disgust.)
Stephie Love: The winner of this match by pinfall…..LETHAL!!!!!! CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!
Jake Mercer: Our champion is not happy, and well, I don’t know how to feel about this one to be honest. Our Paragon, Drake, came out to get a closer view of the action, and well…you saw what happened. Lethal Consequences stuck his nose too close to the action, and Drake was looking to retaliate for LC knocking him clear from the apron! This is all a mess, and Chris Elite, the man who has saved us all from the dreaded Coronavirus undeservedly took the fall for it! But why!!???
Stew-O: As per usual, Jake, you seem to have a different story cooked up that differs from the actual reality. Drake King obviously was looking to disrupt things and it backfired big time as he cost Chris Elite in a prime time matchup that was living up to everything it was billed to be for Friday night Dynasty!
Flannery McCoy: Indeed both men pulled out all the stops, and neither guy could find the advantage they needed to pick up the victory, not until the current World Heavyweight Champion interjected himself, and along with the aid of a steel chair that looked as though it was intended for Lethal Consequences, Drake connected with Chris Elite instead, giving Lethal Consequences the victory! Drake still looks pissed! Well, regardless, the show must go on! It all will continue to unfold next week at the thirteenth annual Grand Rampage! For Stew-O and Jake Mercer, I’m Flannery McCoy and we’ll see you all next week!
(The last shot is of Drake King standing at the end of the ramp while Lethal Consequences stands at the top of the stage with a smirk, and Chris Elite still laid out as the shot fades to black.
(EAW logo buzzes)