( EAW Intro plays )
( We get a recap from last week’s episode of Dynasty where Cameron Ella Ava went one on one with the EAW PURE Champion, Jack Ripley in a match where if Cameron wins, she becomes the number 1 contender for the PURE Championship. Highlights of the back and forth contest are shown along with reaction shots from the Aloha Stadium crowd who are deeply invested into the action. During the tail end of the match, Cameron is distracted by video footage on the titantron showing Mr. DEDEDE in the Brentwood neighborhood of Los Angeles, California. He approaches one of the homes and Cameron Ella Ava’s mother, Carmen Ava, answers the door and greets him with a passionate kiss. DDD flashes an evil grin to the camera and enters the home leaving Cameron in shock. Ripley would attempt to steal the match from her, but Cameron countered with a pinning reversal at the last second and made away with the win. The last thing we see in this video recap is a disturbed and bothered Cameron walking up the ramp pondering what she just saw, while Jack Ripley is arguing with the referee. )
( Camera opens up backstage, and the first thing we see is Mr. DEDEDE dressed in jeans and a “Gawdzilla” Authentic t-shirt, talking and laughing with Cameron Ella Ava’s mother, Carmen. )
Mr. DEDEDE: So I sat in on one of their shows for the hell of it and I was just baffled by all of the anime and comic book references. The freaking shows lasted well into the next morning, like people don’t have work the next day or something. And the matches were all 70 minutes long too. A bunch of “I CHOPPA YOU, YOU CHOPPA ME!” for weebs to beat their dicks to. I may not be friends with the guy, but Banks was sure right when he said that place would be as good as dead by the summer.
Carmen Ava: Right? God I am so glad Cameron didn’t pointlessly throw her EAW career away just to follow her friends there.
DDD: I credit you for being such a good mother.
( DDD grabs ahold of Carmens hands and starts to get sentimental. )
DDD: Listen babe… I know your girls and I have our differences, but I’m willing to put those differences aside if it means you get to enjoy yourself tonight. I promise I won’t instigate anything tonight, you have my word.
Carmen: Thank you Ryan, that really means a lot.
( DDD inches closer. )
DDD: It really means a lot that you’re here…
Carmen: Oh I’m having such a wonderful time Ry, and it’s all because of you.
( Carmen inches closer to DDD, and the disgusted crowd can be heard reacting in the background as DEDEDE and Cameron’s mother share a long, wet, passionate kiss. )
( Dynasty Intro Plays; featuring “Revolution” by The Score. )
( Camera opens back up to Dynasty, and we transition to the inside of the STAPLES Center in Los Angeles, California where “2nd Sucks” by A Day To Remember is playing over the sound system. Starr Stan is in the middle of the ring standing in front of a podium, dressed in navy blue dress slacks, and blazer with a gray sweater underneath. He wields a microphone in hand and is leading the crowd into cheers until his music dies down. The audience gives a massive round of applause to the EAW Hall of Famer and Dynasty General Manager. )
Starr Stan: Thank you LA! Welcome everyone to another exciting episode of FRIDAY NIGHT DYNASTY!!!!
( Crowd roars in applause. )
Starr: Where we fight on Friday nights! It’s so good to see all of you, I actually recognize a couple of familiar faces. I love getting the opportunity to come back here at the world famous STAPLES Center! It brings me great flashbacks to Pain for Pride 2 when I wrestled the one and only Heart Break Boy in a classic show stealing match, and made him tap out to win the EAW Interbranded Champion!
( Crowd cheers, with feint chants heard of “one more match!” )
Starr: (nodding) Yep, I’ve had some good times in LA, and I’ve got a great feeling tonight is going to be another night to remember. I do have some business to take care of however, because my goal as General Manager of Dynasty is to give you people the matches that you want to see, as well as the matches that you all deserve! Last week I was all but finished getting ready to arrange a match I know has the potential to be a five star clinic, which would have our Answers World Champion Theron Nikolas defend his belt against Devan Dubian in a massive bout scheduled for the Voltage invitational Marquee event, Wicked Games!
Unfortunately things got a little bit out of control, tensions started to flare, egoes went running wild and as a result the contract meant to set that match in stone got ripped up and tossed in the disposal bin. Now the EAW Board of Directors — barring our Chairman — have all unanimously agreed that this match is the most valuable Answers World Championship match to schedule for an event like Wicked Games, so I know it’s not just my own delusions when I say that this bout NEEDS to happen!
( Starr picks up a clipboard with papers attached to it from the podium behind him. )
Starr: But since both parties in this match can’t seem to come to any sort of agreement, I want to bring both athletes out here right now and find some common ground so we can make this thing official. So without further adieu I want to first introduce the challenger, a former Answers World Champion in his own right and a man I have a long, long history with… DEVAN DUBIAN!!!!
( “The Sky Is A Neighborhood” by Foo Fighters plays and Devan Dubian walks out dressed in his ring gear with a “Lancashire style” t-shirt on. Dub slaps hands with the fans at the side of the ramp on his way to the ring, and upon entering he shakes hands with his friend, rival and mentor, Starr Stan. Devan’s music dies down shortly after. )
Starr: Thank you Devan for coming out here. Next but certainly not least, I want to bring out the REIGNING, DEFENDING ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION… THERON NIKOLAS!!!!
“ILLEST MUTHAFUCKA ALIVE!!!!!!!”
( “Illest Motherfucker Alive” by Jay-Z and Kanye West hits, and the entire stage, ramp, arena lighting as well as every LED board in the building glows a familiar shade of gold as Theron Nikolas strolls out with the Answers World Championship over his shoulder. He is dressed in jeans and a “1%” tank top, and he ignores the adulating fans who clamor for a handshake on his way to the ring. Once Theron enters the ring he proudly shows off his Answers World Championship to the crowd, and his music eventually dies down prompting the lights to go back to normal. )
Starr: Alright gentlemen, I’m going to just cut to the chase; I’ve completely put any biases I may have against either of you to the side. It doesn’t matter right now if you represent Voltage, or if you represent The 1%, because the two of you possess all of the tools necessary to be all-time great Answers World Champions. Dub, you’ve beaten me in the main event of the biggest show on the planet to hold that title, and Theron, you’ve spent the entire year running through just about anybody who would stop you, including the creator of this very company himself. This match essentially markets itself…. so where is the issue?
Devan Dubian: Why don’t you ask him that, Starr? He’s the one who ripped that contract to shreds right in my face. I have no issues with any of the agreements to this match, the contract was fairly straightforward, a one on one match for the Answers World Championship… but there is one part that I fear may not sit right with our golden boy over there… the part where all other EAW Elitists are banned from ringside.
( Theron rolls his eyes. )
Devan: That’s right, perhaps that may be the dealbreaker for our so-called valiant prizefighter standing opposite of the ring from me. The fact that if he steps in the ring with Devan Dubian, or any Elitist worth their weight in championship gold without the chairman or a Hall of Famer bailing him out, his stock would come tumbling down faster than he did after I laid him out with the Bleeding Edge just one week ago.
( Crowd cheers. )
Theron Nikolas: Well it’s clear someone’s worked themselves into a shoot, aren’t we a mark for ourselves all of a sudden Devan? Do you honestly believe–
( The crowd reaction becomes so hostile that they interrupt Theron. )
Theron: (to the crowd) It’s okay, no that’s fine. No need to thank me for bringing an actual Championship to this city, SINCE THE DODGERS DIDN’T GET THE JOB DONE. :shrug:
( MASSIVE BOOS come raining in from the crowd, and Theron starts cackling at the expense of these Los Angeles fans. )
Crowd: FUCK YOU THERON! :clap: FUCK YOU THERON! :clap:
Theron: HAAAAA HAAAAA! See how easy it is? WORKED! Anyways, as I was saying before Devan, do you seriously believe just because you defeated this bald old man standing in this ring with us in the Pain for Pride main event a few years ago, you think just because you captured lightning in a bottle once that suddenly I’m supposed to be afraid of you? It’s obvious that you’re a mark for yourself, so let me fill you in on a secret — nobody is afraid of Devan Dubian. Nobody is even looking out for Devan Dubian. You haven’t been been in the highest echelon around here in years now. You were underwhelming in Season 10, dragged yourself through Season 11, and you’re barely getting by in Season 12 on your own. That’s why your biggest win this entire season was thanks to Noah Reigner, yeah, who needs WHO to be successful again? Exactly.
Devan: The difference between you and I Theron is that I stood by the side of the legendary Ronn Banks to take down the leaders of The Triumvirate, meanwhile you spent Season 11 playing catch up with them all year long. You were never on the level of Tiberius Jones, you were never on the level of Ares Vendetta, you were never even on the level of the Heart Break Gal. You claim to be a king yet you have spent the majority of your career being ruled over, and selling your soul to Mr. DEDEDE isn’t going to raise your ceiling any higher my friend–
Starr: Guys hang on a second, this isn’t the time to trade barbs okay, I get that you don’t like each other, hell I even get that you don’t respect each other, but there should at least be enough respect to be able to make this match official. Now Theron Dub is right about one thing, you were the one who ripped up the contract, so I’m going to ask you again, what is it going to take for you to agree to some kind of championship match?
Theron: (pretending to think) Hmm… what’s it going to take huh?
( A light bulb goes off in Theron’s head. )
Theron: How about this Dub, I’ll give you a championship opportunity… but see this ring right here?
( Theron flashes a Turkish-Ottoman emerald stone ring. )
Theron: Why don’t you go ahead and kneel before me and kiss the champ’s ring?
( Theron walks up to Devan and holds out his hand, and Devan looks at his ring before looking at the crowd. )
Crowd: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Theron: Go ahead.. you know you want to. How about you go ahead and kiss the champ’s ring? Then you’ll get your title shot. How’s that sound?
Devan: How does that sound? That sounds fine and good Theron, but before I go ahead and kiss your ring, how about you do me one better and kiss my arse.
( The crowd goes nuts, and Theron looks unamused. )
Devan: You have some nerve disrespecting royal blood such as myself this way, you’ve fooled yourself into believing that one night can make you royalty, and I have waited quite some time to bring you down a peg. I have loathed you since before this season began Theron, and that isn’t going to change until I have the opportunity to rid you of your undeserved ego and pride once and for all.
Theron: (explodes) YOU KNOW SOMETHING DEVAN? You want to know why I don’t give a damn about defending my title against you? It’s not just because I’m better than you, it’s not just because you’re irrelevant — and believe me both of those things are true — but it’s because you haven’t done a damn thing around here to earn it! You may have ended The Enterprise, you may get a couple victories on Voltage, but I DON’T CARE ABOUT VOLTAGE! I don’t like or care about Voltage, I don’t care about Showdown, I damn sure don’t care about Empire — Dynasty is my kingdom, and I am the king of this show. My word means more than Darkane’s word, it even means more than Starr’s did, around here my word is law.
And here’s the thing Devan..here’s the interesting part… you’re not as worthless as you look. Believe it or not I see the opportunity behind beating you at Wicked Games because beating you proves, for yet another FPV, that I am the ruler and God Emperor of all of EAW, no matter what brand is represented. There’s value in it, just not enough value to waste even another second on you, especially when you haven’t earned my energy or my time —
Devan: You want me to earn it Theron? Okay, how about this, I am in the same main event match as you are this evening, and if you truly believe you are a part of “The 1%” then why not entertain my proposition? I propose that the winner of tonight’s 6 man tag team main event decides whether our match at Wicked Games happens or it doesn’t. If my team wins, I earn my championship match against you. If your lot wins, then you can go about boasting for the rest of your miserable career. Is that fair enough for the mighty “God Emperor?”
Theron: You know what? That’s perfectly fine. I’ll agree to that. But if you think the results tonight are going to be any different from the way they were in the War Games 6 weeks ago just because you have a junkie and a face painted freak on your side, then you’re sorely mistaken. I hope you enjoy the spotlight The 1% gives you tonight Devan, because this is as big as it’s going to get.
( Theron drops the mic, and “Illest Motherfucker Alive” hits over the sound system. Theron and Dubian trash talk each other off-mic, and Starr gets in between them prompting Theron to raise his Answers World Championship and slowly take his leave. The show transitions to commercial. )
( COMMERCIAL BREAK — including a hype video for the state of Empire! Madison Kaline has aligned herself with Cleopatra and Amber Keys and the three Vixens stand tall, joining forces under a unified front. The landscape of Empire is the most turbulent it has ever been in the history of the show, and next week the sole person standing in the way of Madison Kaline and the Unified Women’s World Championship is a banged up Stephanie Matsuda! Matsuda meets Kaline in the main event of next week’s Empire in a STEEL CAGE MATCH for the Women’s World Championship. Will Cloud be able to protect the home front? Or will Madison Kaline abscond the crown jewel? Find out live Thursday at 8/7 central only on Fox! )
( “Revolution” by The Score plays over the sound system and we get a helicopter view over LA before transitioning to the bustling outside view of the STAPLES Center. )
Stew-O: Dynasty brings the Friday night fights to you LIVE from the city of angels, Los Angeles, California where yet another sold out crowd has filed in for some of the best action in all of Elite Answers Wrestling! Stew-O here alongside Talib Bari, how are we feeling Bari?
Talib Bari: The energy is popping! The bottles is popping! Tonight’s show is going to be POP-POP-POPPING! LA is my favorite city in the whole world, there’s so much to do, and look at all the beautiful women in the crowd Stew! I swear the females are always the baddest when we visit the west coast!
( Transition inside the arena where we see the fans cheering and get a view of distinguished guests. )
Stew: While my broadcast partner is starry-eyed, that stars are out tonight here for some Friday Night Dynasty, including the Ball family! LaMelo, Lonzo, LiAngelo and the don dotta himself LaVar Ball!
Talib: HEY LAVAR COME THROUGH RIGHT QUICK I’M TRYING TO GET A DISCOUNT ON THE ZO2s!
Stew: A few other distinguished guests including Steve Harvey, John Legend and his wife Chrissy Teigen, longtime EAW fan Sofia Vergara, TDE presidents Top Dawg and Punch, and also in the building, RIHANNA!
Talib: OH MY GOD RIRI’S HERE? I HOPE SHE NOTICES ME! RIRI IF YOU CAN HEAR ME I LOVE YOU!
Talib: RIRI, DO YOU LOVE ME? ARE YOU RIDING? SAY YOU’LL NEVER EVER LEAVE!
Stew: Get ahold of yourself Bari! Nonetheless, the energy’s high here in tinseltown and the stakes are getting even higher as in our main event, Impact Theron and Ripley take on Erebus, Darkane and Devan Dubian in the main event — where if Devan’s team wins, he meets Theron at Voltage: Wicked Games! We get to the action after a brief word from our sponsors! Dynasty returns in 90 seconds!
( QUICK COMMERCIAL BREAK. )
( Return to the arena, and “Blackstar” by David Bowie is playing over the sound system while the arena lights are glowing dark blue and Soothsayer Hamasa is in the middle of the ring, holding up her staff with the LED Nazar amulet on top of it radiating a neon blue light. Standing behind her are Donovan Cross and APOCALYPSE who loom in the background. “Blackstar” eventually dies down, and Hamasa has a microphone in hand while the arena remains dark and a sole spotlight shines on Hamasa, with Donovan and Apocalypse standing in the shadows. )
Soothsayer Hamasa: The world in which we inhabit may be likened unto a stage, as the ways of this realm are indiscriminate from a kabuki theater. The forces beyond all comprehension have woven that which is seen as “reality”… but the truth is far more stranger than fiction. The fabric of reality itself is a far greater fabrication than the words written in the books of fiction. The pages of time are turned by the same hands who manipulate the limbs of the players on the world stage.
The illusion of free will is propagated by cowardly men who misconstrue cowardice for autonomy. Your inaction is still an action, and it is an act of fear — nothing more, nothing less. The frightened, small little men chatter their teeth at the sight of the bearer of the cross and the lifter of the veil. They see the mastodon looming over my shoulder and these men see it wise not to incur the wrath of the beast. They view the demon looming in the shadows and see it wise not to summon the demon. However your cowardice will not be ignored, there are consequences for your inaction.
In the world’s stage we are approaching the final act. In the final act of all great works of fiction, all players must take their final bow, no matter the insignificance of their role. When the end of days come, none shall be spared. And for the few with the gumption enough to meet their fate with dignity, now is your turn to take a bow.
( The lights revert to normal, and Hamasa turns to the stage. )
Stew: Soothsayer Hamasa appearing to lay down an open challenge, inviting anybody in the dressing room to come out and challenge Apocalypse and Donovan Cross! Who’s going to step up to the plate?
( From The Ashes New – The Future plays, and Ben Black walks out to the ring. )
Talib: Oh no…
Stew: I echo your sentiments Bari, I don’t know how wise it is for Ben Black to be doing this.
Talib: I know Ben Black hasn’t had the most luck for the last month or so, but it’s one thing to roll the dice, it’s another to play Russian roulette — but this guy is playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded chamber Stew!
( Ben Black reaches ringside, and Apocalypse leans over the ropes and gives him and evil glare. Ben Black freezes in his tracks, and decides to turn back around. )
Talib: AND JUST LIKE THAT BEN BLACK IS GETTING SECOND THOUGHTS! Ben Black took one good luck at what the hell he was walking into and the guy finally got some sense in his head! Good for you Ben, there may just be hope for you yet!
Stew: HOLD THAT THOUGHT BARI, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD APOCALYPSE JUST POUNCED OVER THE ROPES TO THE OUTSIDE! AND THIS WHOLE CROWD IS LOSING IT SEEING APOCALYPSE JOG UP THE RAMP AND CLOBBER BEN BLACK OVER THE HEAD WITH A AX HANDLE BLOW FROM BEHIND!
( Ben Black’s music cuts off. )
Stew: APOCALYPSE DRAGS BEN BLACK DOWN THE RAMP LIKE HE WAS A BAG OF LAUNDRY, AND HE HOISTS THIS FULLY GROWN MAN UP IN HIS ARMS LIKE A BABY, TO TOSS HIM OVER THE ROPES AND INTO THE RING LIKE A RAG DOLL. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
( Apocalypse enters the ring, and a referee slides into the ring to call for the bell. )
( DING! DING! DING! )
Talib: This monstrosity of a man stampedes around the ring beating his chest like a gorilla while a weary Ben Black rises, probably having no idea what’s in store for him. AND APOCALYPSE TAKES BEN BLACK TO THE CORNER! A BALLISTIC ASSAULT OF SHOULDER THRUSTS INTO THE CORNER DRIVING THE SOUL OUT OF BEN BLACK’S BODY, YOU CAN HEAR THOSE GRUNTS, THE SAME KIND OF GRUNT YOU MAKE WHEN YOU’VE BEEN GORED BY A BULL, AND HE’S EATING THAT SAME LEVEL OF FORCE OVER AND OVER AGAIN! THIS DAMN RING IS LITERALLY SHAKING WITH EACH SHOULDER THRUST!
Stew: Apocalypse takes Ben Black out of the corner, whips him into the ropes and catches him to hoist him up with a MILITARY PRESS! APOCALYPSE HOLDING BEN BLACK UP IN THE AIR, JUST TOYING WITH HIM WHILE THE AUDIENCE STARTS COUNTING HOW LONG HE HAS HIM UP THERE!
Crowd: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!
Talib: AND APOCALYPSE POPS HIM UP SO HIGH, LETTING BEN BLACK TAKE — LITERALLY — A 10 FOOT DROP ON HIS FACE, JUST FROM THE MILITARY PRESS DROP ALONE! THIS IS A WALKING, BREATHING MOUNTAIN, AND BEN BLACK ALREADY LOOKS FINISHED!
Stew: Most normal men, hell most normal EAW Elitists have been finished by just a couple of blows, but Apocalypse is back with a vengeance this time around after spending half of Season 11 dominating every living, breathing person who has stood in the same ring as him. Apocalypse scrapes Ben Black up from the floor — but Ben crawls out of his grasp and drops himself to ringside! That could have been a saving grace or it could have been his biggest mistake, and just judging by the fact that Apocalypse is right on his tail, it’s obvious what that result may be!
Talib: Apocalypse is outside of the ring and he’s… he’s taking a jog around the ring! OH LORD HE’S TURNING CORNER AFTER CORNER, BEN IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD YOU’D BETTER BE CALLING OUT TO HIM NOW! NO DON’T DO THIS!!!!!!!
Stew: GAMMA!!!!!!!!!! RAY!!!!!!! BURST!!!!!!!!!! APOCALYPSE DELIVERING THE POUNCE, JOGGING AROUND THE RING FOR MOMENTUM AND SENDING BEN BLACK FLYING BACKWARDS BY NEARLY EIGHT FEET, AND CRASHING THROUGH THE BARRICADE!!!!! MOTHER OF GOD!!!!
( The audience goes insane for what they just saw, and a replay airs on the screen showing Apocalypse delivering the GRB and sending Ben Black flying backwards and crashing through a section of the barricade, knocking over security workers. )
( Return to the live feed, and Apocalypse re-enters the ring where the referee holds up the “X” with his arms and calls for the bell. )
( DING! DING! DING! )
( “Sound of Silence” by Necroblaspheme plays, and Apocalypse raises his arms while Hamasa and Donovan cross re-enter the ring, and the official goes to check on Ben Black who is laying in a pile of rubble. )
Talib: Breh what did I just see…
Stew: BEN BLACK GOT HIT SO HARD, SO FAST, THAT HE WAS SENT FLYING THROUGH A WALL AND DESTROYING SEVERAL SECURITY WORKERS IN THE PROCESS! THAT WAS LITERALLY THE SAME RESULT AS BEING HIT BY A BUS, A BUS FOR GOD’S SAKES!!!! THAT WAS PURE HUMAN ON HUMAN CONTACT, BUT TO BE HONEST FOLKS I SERIOUSLY HAVE MY DOUBTS WHETHER THIS MAN IS ACTUALLY HUMAN OR NOT!
Talib: It doesn’t even look like we’re done either Stew, I’m getting word that someone has issued an answer to Soothsayer Hamasa’s challenge, and they’re on their way out to the ring right now!
( We see an unconscious Ben Black being tended to by several officials, as he is slowly being loaded on a stretcher. After a moment……. “Timebomb” by Blackfoot and Rancid hits, and the crowd cheers heavily as Shaker Jones makes his way to the ring)
Stew: I don’t know what to make of this Bari. Jones came off a fantastic performance last week, and we know that Shaker Jones is a hungry competitor, but did he not just see what the hell happened just a moment ago?!
Talib: Please Shaker, do yourself a favor and get the hell out of here.
( Shaker Jones enters the ring and goes face to
Talib: This crazy son of a bitch…
( Donovan Cross taps Apocalypse on the arm, and he decides to get into Shaker Jones’ face. )
Stew: Would you look at that!
Talib: So it look like Donovan Cross wants a piece of the action instead! Soothsayer Hamasa orders Apocalypse to exit the ring with her, and Donovan Cross is going to get his turn against the Shakemaster, a referee sliding into the ring right now! While Ben Black is being carted out of here it looks like we’re going to get another match right here and right now!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew: The bell sounds and as the brave and perhaps foolish Shaker Jones comes out of his corner, he glances over at Apocalypse and Soothsayer Hamasa in the corner of Donovan Cross… BUT HE CAN’T BE DISTRACTED BY THOSE TWO BECAUSE HERE COMES CROSS RUNNING… AND HE CONNECTS WITH THE INVERTED CROSS!! IMMEDIATELY TAKING SHAKER JONES DOWN!! JONES IS BACK TO HIS FEET… AND IT LOOKS LIKE CROSS IS GOING TO TRY FOR A SECOND ONE HERE, BUT SHAKER JONES HAS THIS ONE SCOUTED!! HE DUCKS AND CROSS GOES FLYING OVER HIM!! AND NOW A CLUBBING BLOW TO THE BACK BY SHAKER JONES AND CROSS COLLAPSES DOWN TO THE CANVAS!!
Bari: And now Shaker Jones makes his way towards the upper body of Cross and unloads with a few stomps, right across the shoulder blade and near the neck… AND NOW ONE RIGHT TO THE HEAD!! Shaker Jones pleased with himself as he backs off Cross and begins pacing around the ring, waiting for him to get to his feet. Cross already needing the use of the ropes to pull himself to his feet… maybe a bit dizzy from that final stomp to the head! HERE COMES SHAKER JONES… BUT DONOVAN CROSS IS ABLE TO PULL THE ROPES, SENDING SHAKER JONES OVER THEM AND CRASHING ONTO THE OUTSIDE!!
Stew: AND RIGHT IN FRONT OF HAMASA AND APOCALYPSE!! What a scary sight that must be to look up to! And considering the fight that Ben Black put up, I don’t think Apocalypse is satisfied… he wants more!
Bari: But he can’t have more or he’ll get Cross disqualified! Shaker Jones quickly scrambles to his feet… and what a predicament he is here, Donovan Cross has the advantage of high ground… but Shaker’s gonna have to enter the ring… which he does! BUT CROSS USING THAT ADVANTAGE HERE NOW, POUNCING ON JONES WITH RIGHTS AND LEFTS… DONOVAN CROSS THREW HIMSELF ON JONES BEFORE HE COULD MAKE IT BACK TO HIS FEET!! Jones gets his hands up to block but it’s only mildly effective… and finally he’s able to roll away from Cross and make it back to his feet!
Stew: But Shaker Jones isn’t out of the woods yet! He’s able to make it to his feet but now what? Where does he go from here… all the momentum rests solely with Donovan Cross. HE THROWS CAUTION TO THE WIND, RUSHING AT CROSS… BUT HE’S STOPPED DEAD IN HIS TRACKS BY A FOREARM RIGHT TO THE JAW!! JONES ON SPAGHETTI LEGS BUT IS ABLE TO REMAIN ON HIS FEET… CROSS NOW HOOKS HIM, LIFTS HIM UP… POSSIBLY LOOKING FOR A VERTICAL SUPLEX BUT SHAKER JONES SENDS A KNEE INTO THE SKULL OF CROSS… NOW A SECOND… AND A THIRD!!
Bari: COULD BE THE OPENING THAT SHAKER JONES NEEDED, CROSS HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO PUT HIM DOWN… JONES CATCHES HIMSELF ON HIS FEET AND HE THROWS A HARD RIGHT HAND IN THE DIRECTION OF CROSS, IT STAGGERS HIM… SENDING HIM BACK INTO THE CORNER!! SHAKER JONES COMES FLYING IN WITH ANOTHER RIGHT HAND!! AN ALMOST SUPERMAN LIKE PUNCH TO DONOVAN CROSS IN THE CORNER!! DONAVON CROSS COMES STUMBLING OUT… BUT HE’S CAUGHT BY JONES… AND RIGHT INTO A SIDEWALK SLAM!! THE BIG MAN PLANTING CROSS!! HE HOOKS THE LEG!!
ONEEE!!… TWOOO!!… NO CROSS IS ABLE TO GET HIS SHOULDER UP!!
Stew: OH AND NOW SHAKER… LOOKING TO APPLY THE CASEY JONES!! SHAKER JONES LOOKING TO LOCK IN THE SUBMISSION AND IF HE CAN, BIG TROUBLE FOR CROSS! BUT DONOVAN CROSS IS FIGHTING HERE… NOT LETTING SHAKER GET HIS ARMS LOCKED!! HE’S TRYING TO FIGHT HIM OFF, THROWING ELBOWS, ANYTHING HE CAN AT SHAKER JONES… AND FINALLY SHAKER GIVES UP… INSTEAD HE PULLS DONOVAN CROSS BACK TO HIS FEET… HE APPLIES A GUTWRENCH… LIFTS HIM UP AND PLANTS HIM WITH THE SIDEWINDER!! THAT GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB!! AND SHAKER JONES IS INTO THE COVER AGAIN, THIS TIME HOOKING BOTH LEGS… DOES HE HAVE HIM?!
ONEEE!!… TWOOO!!… BUT NO!! AGAIN A KICK OUT FROM DONOVAN CROSS!!
Bari: And now Shaker appears to be a bit frustrated! That’s two extremely high impact moves delivered essentially back to back to Donovan Cross and it still wasn’t enough to get the job done! Oh… but that look of frustration is quickly wiped off the face of Shaker Jones, now a sinister grin as he sets himself up in the corner! I THINK I KNOW WHAT HE’S GOING FOR HERE, HE’S READY TO PUT DONOVAN CROSS’ LIGHTS OUT WITH THAT BOOT!! DONOVAN CROSS IS BEGINNING TO STIR AND DESPITE WARNINGS FROM HAMASA AND APOCALYPSE… I’M NOT SURE IF HE KNOWS WHAT’S AWAITING HIM!!
Stew: CROSS IS UP… AND HERE COMES SHAKER JONES… GIVE EM THE BOOT!!… IS… AVOIDED!! DONOVAN CROSS AVOIDS GIVE EM THE BOOT… SHAKER’S BOOT CONNECTING WITH THE TURNBUCKLE, LOOKS LIKE HE MIGHT HAVE JAMMED IT!! HE TURNS AROUND AND HOBBLES… WHERE HE’S GRABBED BY CROSS!! CROSS LIFTING JONES UP… A MAN THAT WEIGHS NEARLY SIXTY MORE POUNDS THAN HIM… THE STRENGTH!! LOOKING FOR THE VIOLENT NIGHT… IT CONNECTS!! AND HE FOLLOWS THROUGH WITH THE PIN!!
ONEEE!!… TWOOO!!… THREE!! HE GOT IT!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“The Haunted” begins to play as Donovan Cross releases the pin and begins celebrating his victory)
Stephie Love: Your winner… DOONNNOOOVVANNNNNN CROOOSSSSS!!
Stew: And Donovan Cross picks up the victory!
Bari: That was a great back and forth match, Stew! Even in defeat Shaker Jones looked quite impressive! And thankfully Hamasa sees it fit for Apocalypse and Donovan Cross to take their leave, so we can thank our lucky stars or whatever’s floating around in Hamasa’s crystal ball that the demise of Shaker Jones isn’t in the near future.
Stew: I was really afraid that this would get ugly Bari, but the message has been sent loud and clear by Apocalypse and Donovan Cross.
( COMMERCIAL BREAK — highlighting the fallout from Showdown’s No Regards! What is next for Scott Diamond after his hellacious match up against Diamond Cage? And who leave San Diego as the EAW Openweight Champion as Kevin Hunter defends his title against TLA? Find out tomorrow night at 8pm, 7 central! )
( Dynasty opens back up backstage where Jack Ripley is seen walking through the hallway corridor with a look of determination on his face. He is dressed in his ring gear, a 1% long sleeved shirt, and the PURE Championship around his waist. Ripley approaches door with the nameplate “Starr Stan” on it, and Ripley bangs on the door. )
Jack Ripley: Open up Starr! We need to talk buddy.
( Ripley opens the door himself, and sitting at Starr’s desk is HRDO, who is dressed in his usual corporate three piece suit and is sitting in front of an iMac desktop computer diligently typing away. )
Jack: The hell? You’re not Starr.
HRDO: I know I’m not.
Jack: Soo… where’s Starr…
HRDO: He’s in my office. We just switched the name tags for the hell of it. Consider it an early April Fool’s prank, if you will.
Jack: But it’s November ya simp.
HRDO: Yeah I know. I’ll be happy to help you.
Jack: Nah that’s fine I’ll just talk to Starr, thank you–
( Ripley turns like he’s going to leave, but HRDO bolts up to his feet and interrupts Ripley. )
HRDO: –I’m sorry what I meant to say was, I’m the only one that can help you, because I already know why you’re here, because I’ve been watching you incessantly piss and moan for the past number of days regarding the decision to your match last week on Dynasty. So I told Starr to let me take care of it. You don’t mind though, do you?
Jack: …. OK… in the case, I want the referee from last week fired and I want the decision from last week overturned.
HRDO: (with a smile) No.
Jack: And that’s exactly why I wanted to talk to Starr.
HRDO: Oh I know exactly why you wanted to talk to Starr, because you and Theron have been throwing your weight around and using your influence to get him to bend to your will. I see it, the board sees it, and to be frank with you Jack we’re getting sick of it.
Jack: I could just ask DDD instead, you know.
HRDO: You could… but DDD already gave us his word he’d delegate executive authority over Dynasty to Starr. I’m just here to make sure you don’t try to force Starr to compromise his integrity — not like anyone in The 1% would know anything about that.
Jack: Listen this isn’t up for discussion, you saw the footage, everyone saw the footage, I KICKED OUT. Cameron should not have won that match, she’s not better than me, she’s never been better than me — not even when I was carrying Davidson to halfway decent showings against her and her mail ordered bride tag team partner. This stupid female has become a total mark for herself just because she got to roll around with men all Season 11 — and compete with us too. There is no way that loser deserves a shot against me, it shouldn’t even be entertained!
HRDO: I saw the footage, the referees saw the footage, the head officials back at EAW HQ reviewed the footage from multiple angles, and your shoulders were down for three Jack. You and Theron are going to have to learn to man up and stop expecting a get out of jail free card any time something doesn’t go your way, because as infallible as you guys like to think you are now that you have Impact and DEDEDE on your side, believe me when I tell you we’ve all seen this movie before, and you know how it ends?
( HRDO gets into Ripley’s face, and Ripley scowls at the 7 footer who towers over him. )
HRDO: It ends the same way Hexa-Gun ended. The same way Project EGO ended. It ends with people who got too big for their britches overestimating their pull, only to find themselves being the ones ‘pulled’ right out of their ivory tower. Now get yourself ready for your main event, and get the hell out of my office.
( Ripley and HRDO continue their intense staredown, and Ripley eventually turns around and walks away muttering racist and homophobic remarks under his breath. )
( Camera transitions back to the STAPLES Center! )
(“The Devil In I” by Slipknot begins to play as the crowd gives a mixed reaction. Jason McKormick emerges onto the stage. He takes a moment before then making his way down to the ring.)
Stephie Love: The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Jackson, Michigan, weighing 235 pounds… JASSSOONNN MCCKOORRMICKKK!
( ‘Psyched Out’ by The Supersuckers as the crowd cheers. Ryan Wilson comes out onto the stage as he makes his way to the ring to join his partner.)
Stephie Love: And his partner, from Montreal, Quebec, Canada, weighing 200 pounds, RYAANNNNN WILLLLSOOONNNNNN!
Stew: Ryan Wilson and Jason McKormick have found a mutual bond after a successful tag team match against Lucas Johnson and the EAW Openweight Champion Kevin Hunter. These two appear to agree philosophically when it comes to the wrestling business Bari.
Talib: These are two of Dynasty’s most ambitious young competitors, and they’re so ambitious they’ve literally called out the EAW Tag Team Champions in their first match! A lot of people, including myself, are — well, you know — confused and a little taken back by the challenge, but we’re gonna hear more from Wilson and McKormick right now.
( Ryan Wilson and Jason McKormick are in the middle of the ring standing by after Wilson’s music dies down. Wilson has a microphone. )
Ryan Wilson: I know what a lot of you are thinking, “what the hell are these maniacs doing calling out the EAW Tag Team Champions?” Well that’s exactly what we expected you all to think, because we already know what our reputation is. We’re the supposed workhorses who are supposed to stay in our lane, get a couple of wins here and there and do just enough to get by.
Jason McKormick: That has been a reputation that has been unfairly assigned to us because that is what most of this industry is willing to settle for. A paycheck and a holiday bonus. Ambition is looked down on in this industry these days, because unless you come into EAW red hot like Theron Nikolas, or in good graces with the right people like MarrKade, most people would rather you be a good little stooge and just sit down and shut up.
Wilson: Well Jason McKormick ain’t very good at sitting down.
McKormick: And Ryan Wilson here isn’t very good at shutting up.
Wilson: And that’s exactly why we work so well together, because we have the balls to challenge the norms, we’re willing to aim straight for the top at the heads of people sitting in the highest positions. As far as Marr and Kinkade goes, we like you guys, we really do. We respect you, but we also want to beat you.
McKormick: It’s nothing personal either, we simply have a score to settle — not with the two of you, but with the entire wrestling industry. Call it foolish, call it ambitious, but soon enough the only thing you’ll be able to call us, is winners.
( Jason sets the mic down, and the two turn to the stage. )
( ‘Glory’ – The Score begins to play as the crowd begins to cheer. Daryl Kinkade and Charlie Marr comes onto the stage with the tag team titles in hand. Daryl Kinkade also has the National Elite Championship over his shoulder.)
Stephie Love: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 440 pounds, they are the EAW Tag Team Champions…. CHARRLIEE MARRRRR AND DARYLLL KINKAADEEE! MARRKKADDEEE!
Talib: It’s hard not to respect the ambition of Wilson and McKormick, they are hard working talented athletes — but MarrKade are champions for a reason, they are just incredibly gifted and it is through their raw talent that they’ve been able to hang with Hall of Famers and accrue ‘equity’ if you will with some of the bigger names in EAW.
Stew: Well put Bari, I fully understand Wilson and McKormick’s vision, to settle “The Score” as they put it with the wrestling industry, and it’s certainly best to keep an open mind to their cause because anything can happen in EAW, and it would certainly be a momentous occasion if they were able to knock off the EAW Tag Team Champions.
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stew: Here we go with tag team action. The Tag Team Champions have come from Voltage here in this non title match up. Daryl Kinkade and Jason McKormick kick things off for their teams. Both men are ready to go and they lock up in the middle of the ring. They push each other off of one another and Jason quickly goes for a big right hand. Daryl blocks him and knees him in the midsection. HE PULLS HIM IN AND CONNECTS WITH A QUICKLY EXECUTES SNAP SUPLEX! Jason is quick to get back up as Daryl irish whips him into the corner. Daryl charges for a corner clothesline… JASON SIDE STEPS! HE SLIDES BEHIND DARYL AND APPLIES A WAIST LOCK! HE CONTINUES WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!
Talib: Daryl gets to his knees and Jason goes to him. RUNNING ENZUIGIRI! JUST AS IT’S ABOUT TO HIT, DARYL BENDS HIS HEAD DOWN! Daryl sits back up as Jason tries to recover from that missed enzuigiri attempt. Jason charges back at Daryl but he takes him down with a quick arm drag! Jason goes down and Daryl continues to apply pressure to his arm. Jason pulls himself up and uses his free hand to fire shots at Kinkade to rock him! Daryl falls back as he releases his hold… RUNNING FOREARM! A running forearm connects as Jason knocks Daryl back once more. Daryl takes shelter in the corner.
Stew: Jason runs towards the corner at Daryl… BICYCLE KICK! DARYL KINKADE EXPLODES OUT OF THE CORNER AND TAKES DOWN JASON WITH THAT BICYCLE KICK! Daryl contemplates his next action and opts to tag in his partner. Here come Charlie Marr. Charlie immediately gets to work as he pushes Jason into the corner. He focuses in on his midsection as he delivers several shoulder blocks right to his midsection! He steps back and delivers a swift uppercut that staggers Jason. JASON FIRES BACK WITH A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! JASON NOW TAKES HIM OUT WITH A JUMPING CLOTHESLINE! DOWN GOES MARR!
Talib: Jason now approaches Charlie who’s beginning to return to his feet. He throws several punches his way that forces him back. He pulls in Charlie and tries to drop him for a DDT! Charlie fights back as he throws punches directly into the ribs of Jason. HE NOW PUSHES HIM FORWARD AND BACK FIRST INTO THE TURNBUCKLES! JASON MAINTAINS HIS HOLD AS HE PULLS HIM BACK OUT TO TRY THE DDT ONCE MORE! CHARLIE STRUGGLES AND MANAGES TO PULL HIMSELF FREE! JASON THROWS A RIGHT PUNCH BUT CHARLIE MARR SIDE STEPS IT! BIG BOOT! HE TAKES OUT JASON WITH A BIG BOOT!
Stew: Jason falls over towards his corner and he manages to make the tag. Great ring awareness by Jason McKormick to get Ryan Wilson into this match. Ryan charges in with great explosiveness. HE THROWS A FLURRY OF PUNCHES RIGHT INTO CHARLIE MARR! HE STEPS BACK AND CHARGES AT HIM ONCE MORE! HE FOLLOWS THROUGH WITH A SWINGING NECK BREAKER! Charlie Marr goes down. Ryan Wilson steps back as Charlie Marr returns to his feet. RYAN NOW CHARGES TOWARDS THE CORNER! CHARLIE TURNS TOWARDS HIM AND RYAN JUMPS ON THEN OFF OF THE TURNBUCKLES FOR A SPRINGBOARD CROSS BODY!
Talib: He goes crashing into Charlie Marr with that cross body. HE TURNS IT INTO A PIN ATTEMPT!
Talib: A KICK OUT BY CHARLIE MARR! Both men begin to get up. Both men are at a vertical base as they approach one another! Ryan pulls in Charlie as he attempts a snap suplex! CHARLIE PUSHES HIM AWAY! RYAN CATCHES HIMSELF BUT CHARLIE LEAPS FOR A HIGH RISE DROP KICK THAT TAKES DOWN RYAN WILSON! WHAT A MANEUVER! Charlie takes a moment to catch himself after that intense exchange with Ryan Wilson. Ryan begins to pull himself up. He does so and Charlie takes advantage. THE HEAD MASTER RITUAL! HE PICKS UP RYAN AND SLAMS HIM DOWN FOR THE SPINEBUSTER! CHARLIE MARR NOW MAKES THE COVER!
Stew: A KICK OUT BY RYAN WILSON! Ryan and Jason are still in this match against the Tag Team Champions. Jason picks up Ryan and is seeking to repeat what he just did? THE HEAD MASTER RITUAL ONE MORE TIME! NO! RYAN JUMPS OUT OF IT! HE GRABS CHARLIE AND EXECUTES AN INVERTED HEADLOCK BACKBREAKER! Ryan takes down Charlie Marr with that maneuver. Ryan takes a moment to recover while Charlie crawls towards his corner. He tags in his partner! HERE COMES DARYL KINKADE!
Talib: Kinkade rushes in at Ryan! BOTH MEN BEGIN TO EXCHANGE BLOWS! DARYL GOES FOR A CLOTHESLINE BUT RYAN WILSON DUCKS! HE GETS BEHIND DARYL AND LEAPS FOR A DROP KICK! IT CONNECTS TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD OF DARYL KINKADE! DARYL FALLS FORWARD AND MANAGES TO CATCH HIMSELF! RYAN GETS BEHIND HIM AND TRIES THE INVERTED HEADLOCK BACKBREAKER ON HIM! DARYL COUNTERS THIS AS HE PUSHES RYAN OFF OF HIM! RYAN TRIES TO COVER BUT DARYL CATCHES HIM WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK!
Stew: A huge round house kick almost takes of Ryan’s head. Daryl now makes his way towards Ryan as he pulls him up. RYAN PUSHES HIM OFF AND CONNECTS WITH AN ENZUIGIRI! DARYL GOES DOWN! RYAN NOW CHARGES TOWARDS THE ROPES… LION SAULT! IT CONNECTS AS HE LANDS RIGHT ON TOP OF DARYL KINKADE! Both men are down and they seem to be both going to their corners! RYAN IS THE FIRST TO MAKE THE TAG! JASON MCKORMICK RUSHES IN AND STOPS DARYL FROM MAKING THE TAG!
Talib: HE PULLS UP DARYL BUT DARYL CATCHES HIM WITH A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! JASON FALLS BACKWARDS ALLOWING DARYL TO MAKE THE TAG! Charlie Marr is back in the fray! He charges at Jason… BUT JASON EXPLODES AND CONNECTS WITH A JUMPING KNEE SMASH! CHARLIE ALMOST GOES DOWN FROM THE FORCE! THE LEGACY! JASON GOES FOR THE SUPER KICK! NO! CHARLIE DUCKS! HE SLIDES IN BEHIND THE UNEXPECTING JASON! JASON TURNS AROUND AFTER MISSING THE SUPER KICK! THE QUEEN IS DEAD! THE DOUBLE UNDERHOOK DDT PLANTS JASON! CHARLIE COVERS AS DARYL ENTERS THE RING TO PREVENT RYAN FROM INTERFERING!
ONEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(‘Glory’ – The Score begins to play as the crowd begins to cheer. Daryl Kinkade and Charlie Marr are handed their championships as they begin to celebrate their victory. Ryan Wilson then goes to check on Jason McKormick.)
Stephie Love: HERE ARE YOU WINNERS… THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… MARRKADDEEE!
Stew: What an exciting match! The Tag Team Champs emerge victorious here on Dynasty but Ryan and Jason sure put up a fight.
Talib: Ryan and Jason looked great but in the end, MarrKade are victorious. One team was able to get the job done and the other team failed, it’s pretty cut and dry to me Stew.
Stew: It is when you put it like that, but but in a roundabout way this may be exactly what McKormick and Wilson needed. It’s one thing to have a vision, it’s another to take setbacks on the chin and be able to go to the drawing board and bounce back. In my soon to be 11 years as an EAW commentator I have found that the most successful people are the ones who have been able to brush losses off and come back even stronger than ever.
Talib: Profound Stew, profound. We’ll be right back!
(Commercial break featuring the Jaded Wolf Hearts promoting the Huda Beauty “New Nude” palette which launched on October 29th, exclusively on shophudabeauty.com. Those glitters tho, especially the ‘Daydream’ shade :D.)
( Camera opens back up to the STAPLES Center which is hyped up for more action. Stephie Love is standing in the middle of the ring wearing a tiny black dress and looking fabulous, smiling from ear to ear. )
Stephie: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR…
Crowd: ONE FALL!
(“DUST” by Tremonti begins to blast across the public address system and the EAW Openweight Champion, Kevin Hunter, makes his way out onto the stage. The crowd roars their approval as he begins to make his way to the ring.)
Stephie: INTRODUCING FIRST… WEIGHING IN AT 235 POUNDS… FROM BROOKLYN, NEW YORK… HE IS THE EAW OPENWEIGHT CHAMPION…. KKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEVVVVVVVIIIIIINNNNN HHHHHUUUUNNNNTTTTEEERRREER!!!
(The champ climbs into the ring and poses with his championship before taking a corner and getting set for this match. His music fades out and is replaced by “Young And Bitter” by Hot Tag Media. The cheers for Kevin Hunter are quickly replaced with boos for Lucas Johnson and Albert Hitchman.)
Stephie: AND HIS OPPONENT… MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RING ACCOMPANIED BY ALBERT HITCHMAN…. WEIGHING IN AT 205 POUNDS… FROM ATLANTA, GEORGIA…. LLLLLUUUUUCCCCAAAAASSSSS JJJJJOOOOOHHHHNNNNSSSSSOOOOONNNN!!!!
(Lucas and Albert climb into the ring, and Lucas looks laser focused on defeating the Openweight Champion. Lucas takes a final look at Kevin Hunter before turning to Albert and getting a few last minute words of encouragement. As soon as Lucas turns around to get ready for the match, Kevin Hunter makes his move!)
Stew: KEVIN HUNTER BOOTS LUCAS JOHNSON IN THE FACE BEFORE THE BELL EVEN RINGS!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Talib: THE OPENWEIGHT CHAMPION THROWS LUCAS INTO THE CORNER AND BEGINS DESTROYING HIM WITH THOSE CORNER CLOTHESLINE SHOTS! LUCAS IS ROCKED RIGHT NOW! KEVIN HUNTER GRABS LUCAS JOHNSON BY THE NECK AND JUST CARELESSLY TOSSES HIM ACROSS THE RING! LUCAS LANDS IN THE OPPOSITE CORNER AND KEVIN HUNTER STALKS TOWARDS HIM!!!!
Stew: Albert Hitchman wisely jerks his client out of the ring because that is not the start either of them wanted for this match! Lucas looks rattled and Hitchman is furiously shouting instructions at Lucas. Lucas is taking it all in stride though and slowly climbs back up on the apron. The referee is holding Kevin Hunter back while Lucas Johnson gets himself back in the ring. As soon as Lucas steps away from the ropes, Hunter comes flying back at him! He destroys Lucas with a forearm smash! Lucas fights back with a chop to the chest! Hunter hits him with a headbutt and that sends Lucas down to his knees! Kevin Hunter goes for another big boot, but Lucas rolls out of the way! Hunter is able to stop his momentum and he quickly turns around! Lucas springs up and sends the champ staggering back with a drop kick! Hunter remains on his feet though, so Lucas goes for another and Kevin Hunter finds himself backed into the corner! Lucas comes flying at Hunter, hits him with his own corner clothesline, and grabs the Openweight Champion! He tosses Hunter down with an overhead suplex and looks for the cover!
Talib: Hunter kicks out before the referee can even start the count but Lucas quickly applies the coquina clutch to Kevin Hunter! Hunter struggles, but he is really close to the ropes! His height is an advantage in this match and he’s able to get his foot on the ropes! Lucas tightens his grip and keeps that move applied until the absolute last second before breaking. Hunter pulls himself from the ring and takes a moment to regroup! Lucas reaches over the ropes to grab Kevin Hunter, but Hunter throws a thumb to Lucas’ eyes. Hunter slips back in the ring and scoops Lucas up! Lucas is taken down with a side suplex. Hunter gets back up and stomps on Lucas’ face, then kicks him the gut. Lucas tries to make his way back to the corner, but Hunter follows him and jerks him up. Lucas fires back with a chop to Hunter’s chest, and Hunter replies with a chop of his own. Lucas takes another go at it, and Hunter replies. Lucas goes for a stiff right hand this time, and fires off another… and another! Hunter finally staggers back and Lucas flies forward! He’s looking to bring the Openweight Champion down with a clothesline, but Hunter ducks! Lucas whirls around and attempts to bring Hunter down with a modified backstabber! Hunter is able to block, whirls around, and nearly takes Lucas’ head off with a huge uppercut!
Stew: Lucas staggers back and reaches for the ropes, but Kevin Hunter slams his foot into the side of Lucas’ skull! Lucas goes down and crawls over to the ropes! He’s grabbing the ropes to try and pull himself up, but Kevin Hunter grabs him by the legs and jerks him back to the center of the ring! Do you think Kevin Hunter is trying to send a message to Showdown’s TLA, Talib?
Talib: I think Kevin Hunter is trying to prove to everyone that his win against Lars Grier at Doomsday was not a fluke.
Stew: Hunter pulls Lucas Johnson back up to his feet and looks for another uppercut! Lucas blocks this and strikes back with forearm shots! Lucas drives his knee into the gut of Kevin Hunter and the Openweight Champion doubles over! Lucas with a backbreaker to Kevin Hunter across the knee! Swinging neckbreaker! Lucas drops down and goes for the cover!
Talib: Kevin Hunter powers out! Lucas returns to his feet and jerks Kevin Hunter up by the hair. He whips him into the corner and looks to hit him with the shining wizard! Hunter moves out of the way and Lucas crashes and burns! Hunter picks Lucas up and lifts him over his head. SIT OUT ALABAMA SLAM! Kevin Hunter with the cover now!
Stew: Lucas gets the shoulder up!!! Kevin Hunter returns to his feet and screams at Lucas Johnson to get up. Before Lucas can return to his feet, Kevin Hunter kicks him right in the ribcage! Lucas shrugs it off and pulls himself back up! He blocks a strike from Hunter and is able to bury his fist into Hunter’s gut! Lucas with several decisive, rapid-fire strikes to the head of Kevin Hunter and he brings him down with a huge open-handed palm strike! Hunter is on his knees and Lucas starts placing those kicks directly on the side of Kevin Hunter’s head! Lucas pulls Hunter up, locks him around the waist and brings him down with a German suplex! The former New Breed Champion keeps his hold on Kevin Hunter and brings him back up and over with another German! He’s going for a third, but Hunter manages to get his elbow up and hits Lucas in the face! Lucas shrugs this off as well and he does bring Kevin Hunter with a third German! Lucas quickly gets up and goes for the top rope…
Talib: FROG SPLASH FROM THE TOP ROPE! LUCAS JOHNSON GOES FOR THE COVER!!
Stew: HUNTER KICKS OUT!!!!
Talib: Lucas mounts the Openweight Champion and begins punching him in the face! Hunter fires back with rights and lefts of his own and the two men fight their way back up to their feet! Lucas with the open-handed strikes to the face of Kevin Hunter, but Hunter is using his size advantage to overpower Lucas and force him back. Hunter levels him with several forearm smashes and finally a huge right hand! Lucas drops down but Hunter lifts him up and gets him set in a powerbomb position! Lucas Johnson is fighting back with elbows to the neck and shoulders of Kevin Hunter! Hunter is forced to set Lucas back down on the mat. Lucas with a kick. Hunter catches his foot! Hunter tries for a clothesline! Lucas ducks! Lucas runs the ropes… ducks under another clothesline… comes back and Kevin Hunter tries for a kick! Lucas catches the foot… tries a kick of his own… Hunter whirls out of the way and swings wildly!!! Lucas ducks the knockout blow… SPINNING HEEL KICK! HUNTER CATCHES LUCAS JOHNSON!!! HUNTER TRIES TO BRING LUCAS DOWN BUT LUCAS SLIPS OUT AND SENDS KEVIN HUNTER DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A PELE KICK! What an incredible sequence from Lucas Johnson!!!
Stew: I mean, Kevin Hunter was just as involved…
Talib: Yeah but Kevin Hunter is a fluke champion and doesn’t have The Hitch at ringside with him.
Stew: Lucas looks to capitalize on this and motions for Kevin Hunter to get up into a sitting position! SHINING WIZARD! LUCAS PICKS UP KEVIN HUNTER AND THROWS HIM DOWN WITH A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! LUCAS PICKS UP KEVIN HUNTER… ANOTHER BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! AGAIN LUCAS PICKS UP KEVIN HUNTER… BUT THIS TIME KEVIN HUNTER FIGHTS OUT OF THE THIRD SUPLEX! HE SHOVES LUCAS BACK BUT LUCAS WITH THE FTP! FTP OUTTA NOWHERE!!!! FTP OUTTA NOWHERE!!!!!
Talib: …. Da eff is the FTP?! That’s a freaking RKO that Lucas calls Feel The Pain.
Stew: RIGHT?! FTP… FEEL THE PAIN… GET IT?!
Talib: … no.
(Meanwhile, Lucas has Hunter pinned.)
Stew: KEVIN HUNTER KICKS OUT AGAIN! WHAT IS LUCAS JOHNSON GOING TO HAVE TO DO TO KEEP THE OPENWEIGHT CHAMPION DOWN?! Albert Hitchman is extremely frustrated on the outside of the ring and he slams his hand down on the apron. Lucas punches the mat in frustration and drags himself back up to his feet. He begins stomping away on Kevin Hunter for lack of anything else to do at the moment! The former New Breed Champion thought he had the match won, but Kevin Hunter won’t be put away! He’s defending his Openweight Championship tomorrow night on Showdown against TLA, and he’s going to make sure that TLA knows it’s not going to be an easy match! Lucas pulls Kevin up by the hair and throws him into the corner. FLYING FOREARM SMASH! LUCAS WITH ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER! Kevin Hunter stumbles forward and SHINING WIZARD FROM LUCAS!!!! Lucas scrambles to the top rope once again… MOONSAULT!
Talib: BUT HUNTER GETS HIS KNEES UP! LUCAS CLUTCHES HIS STOMACH! HUNTER ROLLS OVER AND GOES FOR A COVER OF HIS OWN!
Stew: KICK OUT BY LUCAS BEFORE THE THREE COUNT BUT LUCAS JOHNSON HAS NOT RECOVERED FROM THAT MISSED MOONSAULT! Kevin Hunter pulls up Lucas Johnson! He punches Lucas twice before nailing him with a spinning backfist and follows it up with lariat! He picks Lucas up again! European uppercut! High knee strike! DOUBLE UNDERHOOK FACEBUSTER!!!! THAT’S WHAT KEVIN HUNTER CALLS IN THE END!!!! HE HOOKS THE LEG AND GOES FOR THE COVER!!!!!
Talib: ALBERT HITCHMAN JUST JERKED KEVIN HUNTER OUT OF THE RING!!! KEVIN HUNTER LOOKS LIVID! Hitchman is backing up as Kevin Hunter stalks towards him! The Alpha King is screaming at Albert Hitchman and he backs The Hitch against the ringpost! Hitch is begging Hunter now to just leave him be and Hunter rears back! The Openweight Champion looks to slam his fist into Albert Hitchman’s face but HITCH DUCKS! HUNTER SLAMS HIS FIST INTO THE RINGPOST! HITCH IS LAUGHING AND LUCAS JOHNSON IS ON THE OUTSIDE! HE GRABS A HOLD OF KEVIN HUNTER AND SENDS HIM HEAD FIRST INTO THE RING STEPS! LUCAS GRABS HUNTER BY THE HAIR AND SLAMS HIS FACE OFF THE STEPS! HE THROWS KH INTO THE BARRICADES! LUCAS CLIMBS ON THE RING APRON AND FLIES OFF! HE CATCHES HUNTER WITH A FLYING KICK TO THE HEAD!
Stew: LUCAS GETS BACK UP AND GRABS KEVIN HUNTER! SNAP SUPLEX TO THE OUTSIDE! THE REFEREE IS SCREAMING AT LUCAS TO GET BACK IN THE RING! LUCAS PULLS THE OPENWEIGHT CHAMPION BACK UP! HE SLAMS HUNTER’S FACE OFF THE APRON! LUCAS THROWS THROWS KEVIN HUNTER BACK INTO THE RING AND HE IS STOMPING AWAY ON THAT INJURED HAND OF KEVIN HUNTER! HUNTER HAS TO DEFEND HIS TITLE TOMORROW NIGHT BUT HE’S IN DANGER OF LOSING THIS MATCH!
Talib: KIMURA LOCK! LUCAS JOHNSON HAS KEVIN HUNTER WRAPPED IN THE KIMURA LOCK! … AND KEVIN HUNTER TAPS OUT!!! RING THE BELL!!!
Stew: WHAT A HUGE VICTORY FOR LUCAS JOHNSON!
( DING! DING! DING! )
( “Young and Bitter” comes back on, and Lucas Johnson gets up and gets his arm raised while Kevin Hunter is rolling around the ring clutching his own arm in pain. )
Stephie Love: Here is your winner… LUCAS JOHNSON!!!!!
Talib: I’m blown away! Lucas Johnson has just made the Openweight Champion tap out! If this match were for the title, Lucas Johnson would be the EAW Openweight Champion right now!
Stew: There’s no underselling how big this victory is, Johnson continues to get better and better as a talent and it’s come to a point now where I’m starting to believe the hype behind Albert Hitchman, because ever since Lucas has aligned himself with Hitchman that young man has kicked things into another gear!
Talib: Kudos to Lucas man, he told me earlier today that he knew for a fact he was better than Kevin Hunter and while I still have a high opinion of Hunter as an athlete, it’s safe to say for the time being Lucas has been validated.
( COMMERCIAL BREAK — Including an advertisement for the upcoming Voltage FPV: Wicked Games! LIVE from the Smoothie King Arena in New Orleans, Louisiana! Don’t miss the return of one of the greatest Elitists of all time, Captain Charisma, as he competes in his first EAW match in over 6 YEARS! )
( Show returns to the STAPLES Center, and the camera pans over the sold out crowd of 20,000 attendants who are cheering and waving to the cameras. )
Stephie Love: Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome… THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD OF EAW, MISTEEEEEEERRRRR DEEEEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
( “Rambo” by Bryson Tiller hits, and smoke billows on the stage which prompts the audience to jump to their feet in applause with some boos mixed in as Mr. DEDEDE walks out smiling for the cameras. DDD interacts with the LA crowd a bit, and continues his way to the ring. )
Talib: It’s interesting how DEDEDE is still able to get such fanfare from major market areas like LA and Chicago despite being such a depraved and low-down individual!
Stew: Well DDD has a great deal of ‘cache’ so to speak when it comes to some parts of the EAW Universe. A lot of the general public look at Mr. DEDEDE and they may not be thinking about his misogynistic rants, or promises of “Death Destruction and R-pe”, many people still remember him for his accolades or — in LA’s case — the classic moments and matches such as the one at Pain for Pride 2 when he put on the 2009 Match of the Year in this very building.
Talib: With that said, let’s see what the boss is up to.
( DDD is in the ring with a microphone in hand. Half of the crowd are chanting “DEDEDE”, the other half are booing him, but everybody has a reaction. )
Mr. DEDEDE: HELLO LA! ARE YOU HAPPY TO SEE ME!
( DDD bares a shit-eating grin and half of the boos get louder, but half of the cheers also get louder. )
DDD: That’s great. It’s great to be here tonight, I’m fired up this evening. More fired up than usual, but that’s for a reason. I can’t help but look around and damn there are so many bad ass bitches in the house tonight, make some noise for yourselves ladies.
( A higher pitched cheer can be heard among the boos. )
DDD: Some beautiful, smoking hot women in Cali man, that’s why I moved out here. You know something though? I know why they call this place the “City of Angels”, because there are truly so many beautiful angels who live in Los Angeles, I mean my goodness the population of pussy here is out of control. You are genuinely some of the most good hearted, most beautiful and desirable women of anywhere in the world, I truly mean that. And though I have said some nasty and disrespectful things about women in the past… I just want you all to know, that that was the old me.
( Stew-O scoffs. )
DDD: It truly was the old me, it was a me who hadn’t experience what it’s like to be in the arms of an angel — no Sarah McLachlan. I didn’t know what it’s like to have unconditional love, because all my life I had to deal with women who always wanted something from me. They viewed me as an object, I hated being objectified, treated like I was nothing but an ATM machine by day, and a piece of meat by night.
DDD: Until I came to the city of angels in the search of a higher purpose… which led me to a true angel, a woman who I know has my best intentions at heart. A woman who is filled with love, a strong woman who encourages me and inspires me to be a better man tomorrow than I was yesteryear. That woman is the guest of honor for Dynasty tonight, so please guys, please put your hands together for the beautiful, the lovely, the gorgeous, CARMEN AVA!!!! Get up here babe!
( DEDEDE cheeses a smile, and a flattered Carmen Ava is in the front row being escorted to ringside by a stagehand. )
DDD: Come on in baby don’t be shy.
( Carmen climbs up the ring stairs and DDD holds down the middle rope to make it easier for Carmen to enter the ring. DDD takes Carmen by the hand and smiles lovingly at her. )
DDD: Don’t be shy it’s okay, you’re among family now. Carmen, I wanted to bring you out here tonight as the special guest of honor not because you’re the mother of four talented, successful young girls in this industry. I brought you out here because I wanted to make things public… about us. I want to make things official and I want to do it the way I like to do everything else, in front of the whole wide world.
( Carmen has a flattered smile on her face. )
DDD: I’m sure you can recall the first time you fell in love, and for me I can honestly say that this is very much like that first time all over again. I want to scream it from the mountaintops so loud that everybody in the world hears it. I used to believe in love, until my last babys momma (that I know of) screwed me over and tried to put me on child support. Ever since that happened I believe all women were nothing but useless flesh dolls made for fornicating with for sport — PLEASE BELIEVE IT! I went years and years hurting girls, playing with their hearts, and then breaking them emotionally. It was a sick, sick game that I played, and it was a game I thought would never end… until I met you.
Carmen you and I have only been a thing for just a few weeks now, but the short time we’ve been together has been some of the best times of my life. You’ve found your way into my heart, you’re an amazing cook, you make such great delicious food that I’m sure is the reason why your daughters are so…voluptuous. And you do what every woman should do for their man…leave me with a full belly, and empty balls huehuehuehue.
( Carmen laughs, and the rest of the crowd groans. )
DDD: You’ve opened up my heart, you reached deep down into my soul, and I can genuinely say I want to spend the rest of my life with you–
( “ULTRANumb” by Blue Stahli plays, and the crowd erupts with cheers as a disgusted Cameron Ella Ava walks out to the stage with a microphone in hand. An offended Mr. DEDEDE and a surprised Carmen Ava turn to the stage looking dismayed, and Cameron’s music dies down after a brief moment. )
Cameron Ella Ava: DEDEDE you are truly a disgusting piece of shit! A sick disgusting piece of shit! I have had some of the worst piles of scum enter my life and congratulations DEDEDE because you’ve outdone all of them! You’re targeting my mother???? You’re trying to get to me by bringing in my mother???? You are really pathetic DDD, I want you to know that.
( A ‘quizzical’ looking DEDEDE turns to Carmen asking what is the meaning of this. Cameron shifts her focus to Carmen. )
Cameron: Mami don’t you see what he’s doing? How could you trust somebody like him after all of the things he said to Camille and I? I’ve been trying to reach you all week and explain this to you because you’re making a big mistake, he’s using you the same way he uses everyone! He’s trying to use you to hurt me–
DDD: THAT’S ENOUGH CAM! YOU CAN STOP RIGHT THERE ALRIGHT? Listen I didn’t attempt to hide anything from your mother, she knows that you and I have been bumping heads for a while now and I promised her that I was willing to let bygones be bygones — not for you, but for her peace of mind. But it seems like you don’t care about that don’t you? It seems like the real Cameron Ella Ava is on display live and in front of the whole world, because even your own family sees you as the spoiled, selfish child out of all of your sisters!
Cameron: You know what DEDEDE I’ve never said this to anyone before but I honestly can’t wait until the day you fucking die! Camille was right about you, people like you can’t be fixed, you’re always going to be a corrupt evil bastard and if you keep messing with my family I’m REALLY going to show a side of me that the world has never seen, because I’m going to make you pay! My mom is the most important thing I have and if you hurt her I swear to God on my mother’s life DEDEDE that I-
( Cameron stops in her tracks. )
Carmen: Cammy you know I love you with all of my heart, and you know the last thing I want to do is hinder your career or your livelihood. But you have to understand that from the day you were born, I gave up my whole life to provide for you and your sisters and give you the best possible upbringing for all four of you! Now that you’re all adults and living your own lives, you need to at least allow me to do the same! Ryan makes me happy, happier than any man has made me in a long time, and he may put on this scary disguise but you don’t know the real him the way that I do. In reality he’s a sweetheart and a genuinely good guy.
( Cameron shakes her head, visibly distraught by this. )
Carmen: You have to just trust me honey, please. Let this thing go, for me.
Crowd: FUCK HIM UP CAMERON FUCK HIM UP! :clap: :clap: FUCK HIM UP CAMERON FUCK HIM UP! :clap: :clap: FUCK HIM UP CAMERON FUCK HIM UP! :clap: :clap: FUCK HIM UP CAMERON FUCK HIM UP! :clap: :clap:
( DDD nods in fake-agreement, and Cameron clenches her fists and tightens her lips, barely able to control her anger. Cameron drops the microphone, turn around and walks back through the curtain, leaving a disappointed crowd behind. DDD puts his arm around Carmen, barely able to keep in his laughter, and Carmen leans into him out of relief while “Rambo” comes back on the sound system. )
Stew: I can only imagine what Cam is going through. I couldn’t even do that… there are no words.
Talib: I always have this saying Stew, you can mess with me all you want, that’s all fine and good. But when you mess with my family… it’s an inherent trigger inside of you, and I think that’s just universal you know? So again putting myself in Cam’s shoes, like you said Stew, I just can’t even imagine.
( Camera cuts backstage to one of the public dressing rooms which is only occupied by Jason McKormick and Ryan Wilson, who are sitting looking dejected after their match result earlier. )
Ryan Wilson: I should have freaking been there man, it didn’t need to end like that, I know I’m faster than Daryl Kinkade, I know I’m stronger than him, I should have beaten him into the ring and broke up that count.
Jason McKormick: I’m the one who got pinned man, at the end of the day I have to bear the most responsibility. I cost us the purse.
Wilson: Not even gonna lie this one stings…
McKormick: It does for me too… then again all my losses do.
Wilson: Yeah (chuckle) same I guess.
McKormick: I just have such a desire for winning, I put a hundred percent into every match. Like, I literally put my pride behind every match, because I’m just that competitive.
WIlson: So do I. I guess that’s kind of why I relate to you so much.
( Shaker Jones enters the dressing room. )
Shaker Jones: How are you guys?
Wilson: We’ve been better.
Shaker: Yeah… same here.
McKormick: We saw you stand up to Apocalypse and Cross earlier tonight. It took balls man.
Shaker: Sure, but it wasn’t enough was it?
Wilson: No, but it was enough to get Jason and I fired up.
Shaker: I can see that. I know it didn’t go your way either, I was watching you two out there while icing myself down.
( McKormick and Wilson shrug. )
Shaker: Look it was a bad night for all of us, but you know what? It’s irrelevant. There’s something much greater in the bigger picture, and this isn’t a dream I’m trying to sell you, it’s a reality. I saw what you two said about wanting to “settle the score” and it really actually resonated with me lads.
Shaker: Yeah. I think you boys are right about everything you said, and I’m a big fan of both of your work. I think when it comes to your agenda though, we have all of the pieces that we need between us, the problem is we haven’t quite put together the puzzle.
( McKormick stands up. )
McKormick: You’re right. It’s like what they say right? Fools rush in.
( Wilson stands up. )
Wilson: We didn’t have a real agenda, we didn’t have a game plan, we just went off of ambition.
Shaker: Exactly, and it’s not a knock on you lads either, I’m guilty of that myself. But if we put our heads together this little “score” you’re looking to settle… well let’s just say it might be more attainable than it may appear.
Wilson: I’m liking what I’m hearing. So where do we start?
( The gears start turning in Shaker’s head, and the camera transitions to commercial. )
( FINAL COMMERCIAL BREAK — hyping up the DLC pack from the brand new video game, EAW 2K19! Seen by critics as the greatest installment of the EAW 2K series, the DLC pack includes 15 brand new Elitists of the past, present and future, and an additional 15 new attires for stars that are already in the game! Including Harlow Reichert, “Damaged” Zack Crash, and the new blonde Madison Kaline! Available now at all vendors. )
( Camera opens up to the sold out STAPLES Center, where Stephie Love is standing by in the middle of the ring ready to call the main event. )
Stephie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a six man tag match and is scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!
Stephie: And it is our MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!!!!
“ILLEST MUTHAFUCKA ALIVE!!!!!!!!”
(“Illest Motherfucker Alive” by Kanye West and Jay-Z hits as Jack Ripley, Impact, and Theron Nikolas step out onto the ramp and begin to walk to the ring, Jack and Theron holding their respective championships)
Stephie: Introducing first, making their way to the ring at a combined weight of 651 pounds… The PURE Champion, Jack Ripley; The Answers World Champion, Theron Nikolas; and EAW Hall of Famer, Impact… THE! 1! %!
Talib: There’s been no more unstoppable force in EAW like the 1%! The PURE champion, the Answers World Champion, one of the greatest to step in the ring, and the goddamn company Chairman on top of it! You can’t get more stacked than that, whether you like them are not Stew!
(“Indestructible” by Disturbed hits as Erebus Jennings makes his way out and down to the ring)
Stephie: Introducing their opponents, first making his way to the ring from parts unknown, weighing in at 240 pounds… ERRREEEBBBUUSSS JEEEEENNNNIINNNGGGSSSS!!!!
Stew: …….. Well that last part is up for debate, but earlier tonight the stakes to this match were heightened thanks to a face to face confrontation between the Answers World Champion and the appointed challenger from Voltage, Devan Dubian. Now as a result, if The 1%’s opposing team manages to win this match Theron MUST defend his title against Devan Dubian at the Voltage Marquee Event: Wicked Games.
(“The Sky is the Neighborhood” by Foo Fighters hits as Devan Dubian makes his entrance)
Stephie: And his partner, making his way to the ring from Leicester, England in the United Kingdom, weighing in at 230 pounds… EAW Hall of Famer… DEVVVVVAAAANNN DDUUUUUBBBBIIAANNNN!!!!
(“Born Too Late” by Saint Vitus hits as Darkane makes his way down to the ring)
Stephie: And their partner, making his way to the ring from New Orleans, Louisiana, weighing in at 246 pounds… DARRRRRKKAAAAANNNEEEE!!!!!
(Erebus, Darkane, and Devan look each other over in the ring and begin to talk strategy)
Stew: This is a powerhouse of a team we’ve got here tonight! These three as a unit is a hell of a force in their own right, but we’ll see if they can overcome the unity of The 1% as our main event of the evening is underway…. right now!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stew: Here we go! Darkane will start against Jack Ripley! Oh! But Darkane wants Theron! He’s waving Jack off and telling him to tag in the AWC! Jack walks back to his corner, looking back at Darkane! Jack puts his hand up… and tags in Impact! Theron just shrugs on the apron with a shit eating grin. But Darkane isn’t playing games and he’s pissed! He looks at the Hall of Famer that helped cost him the championship as he enters through the ropes and locks eyes with him! Now we’re off! The two lock up and Darkane is like a man possessed! He just drives knees right into Impacts stomach! He reaches around and grabs Impact in the gut wrench position! Gut wrench power bom— NO! Impact hangs on and now grabs the head scissors to secure himself as he drives fists into Darkane’s forehead! Darkane is losing his footing! But he keeps Impact up! And he drives him to the corner FOR A BUCKLE BOMB!
Talib: Impact collides with the turnbuckle and now he’s propped in the corner as Darkane is unloading! Targeting the mouth of Impact! He still hasn’t forgotten the taste of those thumbtacks! Punch after punch! Impact may need a dentist! BUT JACK RIPLEY JUST RAN ALONG THE APRON AND HIT THE STEP UP ENZIGURI! Darkane is stunned as he stumbles back and Impact comes out of the corner! Running bulldog plants Darkane into the mat and Impact leaps into the ropes! FLIGHT SIGHTS! The lionsault connects! Impact makes the cover!
Not enough as Darkane kicks out! Darken trying to sit up and shake the cobwebs as Impact now makes comes from behind with the rear headlock and grinds his arm into Darkane’s face! Darkane tries to scoot himself to the corner! But he’s no where close to it! Impact tightens the hold now as Darkane struggles! But Darkane now pressing against Impact! Darkane climbing up to his feet! Impact maintains the headlock as Darkane stands with him now! But Darken drives Impact back into the ropes… and uses the momentum to flip the hall of famer over his shoulder!
Stew: But Impact bridges up and kicks Darkane right in the jaw! Darkane stumbles back—INTO HIS OWN CORNER! Erebus Jennings tags himself in! Something we may see more of coming up as Erebus and Darkane will team in this year’s Grand Prix! But Erebus now comes in and tries to go for Impact who is still on the ground! Jennings comes in with a stiff kick to Impact who responds by rolling out of the ring! And Jennings rolls right out with him! But Impact rolled back into the ring! Jennings gives chase! Jennings slides back into the ring and stands— EVISCERATION!!!!! Impact faked out Erebus right into the codebreaker! Impact with the cover!
Broken up by Devan Dubian! Theron Nikolas starts to get in the ring but Dubian moves himself back to the corner as he eyes Theron. Devan gets back on the apron as a frustrated Impact moves over and tags Jack Ripley. Jack makes his way into the ring as Erebus is just pulling himself up! Jack comes in and delivers a kick to the gut of Jennings! Now he grabs Erebus by the head and plants him with a DDT! Jack tries a quick cover!
But Erebus kicks out! And he rolls himself to the ropes as he tries to pull himself up again! Jack moves in quick though! YOU’LL FLOAT TOO! NO! Erebus dodges and slips behind Jack! German suplex plants the PURE champion! And now Erebus is on offense! Jack is reeling as he tries to get back vertical! But Jennings now comes in and nails him with the discus clothesline! Jack drops to the ground and Erebus drops down and begins to pound on him! Grabs Jack now by the legs and pulls him in! DARKNESS WRATH!!! The Scorpion Deathlock applied!!
Talib: Jack is hurting and Erebus is sinking it in as deep as he can! Jack is clawing at the mat! He’s trying to pull himself to the ropes! But I don’t think he’s gonna escape the hold! SUPERKICK! Theron Nikolas knocks Erebus into breaking the hold! Devan Dubian and Darkane both try to get into the ring but the ref stops them and tells that they need to get out! But both are arguing to get Theron out but now Jack is to his feet and Impact is in the ring! They’re all just stomping into Erebus! And finally Darkane and Dub settle back on the apron and the ref turns just in time for Impact and Theron to get back onto the apron! Jack walks over and tags in the Answers World Champion!
Stew: Theron comes in and pulls Erebus up by the head! And he takes his hand and now he just rubs at the white face paint and smidges it! What a disrespectful prick!
Talib: I’m sorry. I don’t think the chairman heard you there. Say it again.
Stew: Moving on… Theron is smearing the face paint of Erebus! BUT NOW EREBUS THROWING PUNCHES INTO THE GUT OF THERON NIKOLAS! Theron stunned by the shots from Erebus but he swipes at Erebus’s hands and PLANTS A KNEE INTO HIS HEAD! Erebus could be concussed at this point! Erebus looks up and he just tries to crawl to his partners in his corner! Darkane and Devan both reaching out! But Theron now grabs him by the feet and drags him back! BUT EREBUS TURNS AROUND AND USES HIS FEET TO SHOVES THERON OFF AND INTO THE CORNER! Erebus turns back and gets to his knees as Theron tries to grab him! Erebus leaps! AND DEVAN DUBIAN IS IN!!!!
Talib: Theron doesn’t look happy! He begins to back up but Devan now charges him! He scoops Theron! OLYMPIC SLAM!!!! Right here on StarrStan’s Show! And now Theron tries to roll out but now here comes Dubian! He grabs Theron by the head and pulls him up as Theron is on the apron! He pulls Theron through the ropes… ROPE HUNG DDT!
Stew: Vintage Dubian! And now the Hall of Famer is in control! Devan pulls Theron up! HE’S GONNA SET UP FOR THE FLASH STEP!
Talib: YOU’LL FLOAT TOO!!!!!! Jack Ripley runs in and plants the superkick into Devans face! And Impact is on the apron laughing and enjoying the scene! But Darkane runs into the ring and catches Jack right on the ear with a forearm! And Darkane sets up! Exploder suplex sends Jack into the corner… AND COLLIDING WITH IMPACT!! Impact is knocked from the apron and it looks like he hit his head on the outside!
Stew: But now Theron is back and planting forearms into Darkane! He drives him backwards… BUT DARKANE REALIZES WHO HE HAS! DARKANE GRABS THERON BY THE HEAD! Knee to the gut! Double undertook! ENTER THE GRAVE!!! Darkane plants the AWC with the double underhook piledriver!!! Now he goes over and wakes up Dubian! He pulls Devan over and places him on top of Theron for the pin! Darkane gets back on the apron and the ref counts!
NO! Theron just gets the shoulder up!!! Just barely! And Darkane isn’t happy! He calls for the tag! Dubian tries to crawl! BUT JACK RIPLEY GRABS DUBIAN BY THE FEET! BUT HERE’S EREBUS NOW!!!! Erebus grabs Jack and plants shots into him! Big discus clothesline—SENDS THEM BOTH TUMBLING TO THE OUTSIDE!
Talib: Dubian reaches up and makes the tag to Darkane! Theron has scooted back into the corner and realizes what’s in front of him as Devan Dubian is still leaned in the corner instead of on the apron, catching his breath! Darkane moves in to get his target! He rushes in a clubs Theron in the corner and Theron’s eyes glaze over! Darkane pulls him out the corner—
Stew: FIST OF FURY!! Impact slides back in and decks Darkane with the KO hook! And now Impact is pulling up Theron! He’s trying to get Theron into the corner for the tag but Theron is basically out on his feet! Impact drags Theron now! He places him in the corner! He turns—
Talib: BLEEDING EDGE!!!!! Impact is down from the cutter from Dubian! And Dubian looks to take out Theron! BUT JACK RIPLEY IS BACK NOW AND HE PULLS DUBIAN BY THE FEET TO TRIP HIM! AND HERE’S THERON NOW BACK AWAKE AND HE PLANTS A SHINING WIZARD INTO DUBIAN!
Stew: Impact is rolling out to the apron! He’s slowly pulling himself up and demands the tag! The man just took the bleeding edge! He’s in no condition! But Theron gives him the tag! And Theron rolls out now and the two beat down on Erebus on the outside! And now Impact targets Devan! Devan slowly gets up to his knees… rising to his feet… EVISCERATION!!!!!!
Talib: Impact still moving slow from the Bleeding Edge but he plants Dubian! He pins Devan!!!
Crowd: 1! 2! 3! 4!
Stew: But Devan isn’t legal! Impact is yelling at the ref to count but the referee is telling him he can’t! DEVIL MAY CRY!!!!!! DARKANE CATCHES IMPACT FROM BEHIND WITH A SPEAR TO THE SPINE WHILE HE WAS ARGUING WITH THE REFEREE!!!! IMPACT WAS CAUGHT OFF GUARD, DARKANE LOOKS TO CAPITALIZE, THERE’S THE COVER!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“Born Too Late” hits as Darkane stands to his feet, Devan is pulling himself up, and Erebus enters the ring to celebrate as well. )
Stephie: Here are your winners… EREBUS JENNINGS, DEVAN DUBIAN, AND DARRRRKKAAAAAANNEEEE!!!!
Stew: Darkane finally gets his hands on the 1% and he makes the most of it! And as a result Devan Dubian’s match against Theron Nikolas has become official!
Talib: That’s a major key Stew! And don’t forget Darkane too! This is definitely some much needed retribution for the former Answers World Champion, who was driven to near obsession about getting some payback on Impact for–
Stew: LOOK OUT!!! SUPERKICK FROM OUT OF NOWHERE HITS FLUSH ACROSS THE BACK OF THE HEAD OF DEVAN DUBIAN!!! THERON CAUGHT HIM OFF GUARD WITH THAT SUPERKICK! AND NOW EREBUS IS GOING AFTER THERON, BUT JACK RIPLEY JUMPS ONTO HIS BACK AND STARTS HAMMERING PUNCHES, WHILE THERON NIKOLAS AND DARKANE BEGIN TRADING BLOWS!
Talib: Devan Dubian was caught with a nasty cheap shot, and The 1% just refuse to let this thing die!
Stew: Even when they’re fairly beaten they don’t even have the decency to accept the results!
Talib: Darkane looks like he’s starting to get the better of Theron! Theron gets taken down with a clothesline! He recovers, another clothesline! He takes Theron up and sends him into the ropes… there’s a RING RATTLING SPINEBUSTER!!!! THE LA CROWD IS ON THEIR FEET, 20,000 CHEERING DARKANE ON WHILE THERON CRAWLS TO THE CORNER AND DARKANE IS LOOKING FOR YET ANOTHER DEVIL MAY CRY!!!! HE WANTS TO CUT THE ANSWERS WORLD CHAMPION IN HALF!!!! DARKANE TAKES OFF —
Stew: EVISCERATION!!!!!!! DARKANE IS CUT OFF WITH THE EVISCERATION!!! EREBUS TAKES JACK RIPLEY DOWN WITH THE BIG BOOT! NOW THERON DELIVERS A FLUSH SUPERKICK ON EREBUS!!! EREBUS IS STILL ON HIS FEET, SO THERON HOOKS HIM AND WANTS TO FINISH HIM OFF WITH THE RAINMAKER LARIAT!!! — BUT DEVAN TURNS THERON AROUND, AND IS LOOKING FOR THE BLEEDING EDGE!!!!!! GOT IT!!!!
Talib: NO THERON PUSHES DEVAN AWAY FROM BEHIND AT THE LAST SECOND — OH MY GOD!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! SPEEEEEEEEEARRRRRRRRRR!!! IT’S MR. DEDEDE, HE’S JUST SPEARED DEVAN DUBIAN IN HALF!!!
Stew: THIS ISN’T FAIR! IT’S BECOME A NUMBERS ADVANTAGE FOR THE 1%!
Talib: AND IF THERE ARE ANY GROUP OF MEN WHO CARE LESS ABOUT FAIRNESS THAN THE 1%, PLEASE POINT ME TO THEM! DDD HAS EREBUS IN HIS SIGHTS, WHO IS DAZED AND UTTERLY CONFUSED, AND EREBUS TURNS AROUND — EVISCERATION BY IMPACT!!!! EREBUS ON SPAGHETTI LEGS, TURNS AROUND, AND FALLS RIGHT INTO A SPEAR FROM DEDEDE!!!!
Stew: DARKANE TRYING TO GET BACK UP — YOU’LL FLOAT TOO!!!! JACK RIPLEY BLASTS DARKANE ACROSS THE MOUTH WITH A WICKED SUPERKICK, TOOTH CRUNCHING SUPERKICK!!!
( Darkane falls through the ropes to the outside of the ring. A weary Theron Nikolas directs traffic, motioning the throat-slit symbol prompting DEDEDE and Impact to nod and follow Darkane out of the ring. )
Talib: That did not look good….
Stew: It’s not. It’s not good whatsoever.
( Impact drags Darkane up from the ringside floor while hurling verbal abuse, and Mr. DEDEDE lifts up the apron…. AND PULLS OUT THE EQUALIZER. )
Stew: NO. NO! NO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Talib: IMPACT IS BRINGING DARKANE RIGHT BACK INTO THE RING, AND IS BRINGING HIS DEADWEIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF THERON NIKOLAS… LOOK AT THERON, HE’S MOCKINGLY ROCKING DARKANE LIKE A BABY! DEVAN DUBIAN AND EREBUS JENNINGS ARE OUT OF THE RING, PARALYZED IN PAIN AND BARELY ABLE TO MOVE LET ALONE RUSH IN…. AND DEDEDE ENTERS THE RING WITH THE EQUALIZER!
Stew: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP THIS! THIS IS TOO FAR, WAY TOO FREAKING FAR!
( DEDEDE holds ‘The Equalizer’ — a guitar filled with thumbtacks, nails and shards of glass, and ‘batters up’ while Theron Nikolas continues to cradle Darkane in his arms… until he pushes Darkane forward…. )
Stew: SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!! SON!!!! OF!!!! A!!!!!! BITCH!!!!!!!!
( Thumbtacks, nails and shards of glass go exploding all over the ring, as the Guitar smashes right over Darkane’s head — with his head smashing right through it. Darkane slowly collapses to his knees with his face instantly sliced open and covered in blood. DEDEDE rips the guitar from his shoulders, and Darkane’s continues to bleed profusely as he falls from his knees, to the canvas, laying at his side. )
( Ripley makes a humorous expression ‘shocked’ by how big of a hole Darkane’s head left through the guitar. Theron Nikolas leans back on the ropes with the Answers World Title in his hands, and Impact sits in the corner with a sinister grin on his face. )
( Theron, Impact, DEDEDE and Ripley fist bump, and medics rush out to ringside begging The 1% to leave. A stunned Devan Dubian sits against the announce table holding his ribcage, aghast at what he witnessed, knowing he witnessed a murder. The final shot of the broadcast shows Darkane laying there in a pool of his own blood with jagged shards of glass jammed into his face, and a glazed over look in his eyes. Camera fades to black…. )
( EAW logo buzzes )