( EAW Intro plays )

( We get a recap to last week’s Showdown where Rex McAllister came out before everybody and offered a proposition to Diamond Cage, intimating that if Cage agrees to face Rex at PFP in a 2 out of 3 falls match it would be his only way of proving his desire to truly be the best. We flash forward to the main event, where Heart Break Boy is entering the match with news from his own daughters that he has been hiding an injury. We get highlights of the back and forth action between he and Rex, however we see HBB go down after delivering a clothesline which suggests that he has had a possibly torn right bicep. Despite this, we see Rex caught off guard with a Goldprint from HBB, helping him capture the victory despite still favoring that arm. )

( Showdown intro plays, featuring the song “Believer” by Imagine Dragons. )

( We cut open to the SAP Center in San Jose, California, where the entire place is filled to capacity and screaming at the top of their lungs as blue pyro blasts up from the turnbuckles, the stage and the titantron and create an electric showcase of fireworks. We get a tag on the top of the screen that says #SoldOut. )

Pierre McGuire: CAN YOU FEEL THE INCREDIBLE ENERGY IN THE ATMOSPHERE??? IT’S THAT OLD PAIN FOR PRIDE SMELL IN THE AIR, AND WE ARE ON OUR FINAL STOP BEFORE THE ULTIMATE DESTINATION, THE MARQUEE EVENT OF THE CENTURY, PAIN FOR PRIDE!!!

Deadprez: In the words of Hov himself, it all comes to a head like a coin baby! It all comes to a head like a coin! It’s easy, breezy and 73 outside but it is HOT inside this San Jose madhouse!

( Card shows up on the screen showing a graphic for Prince of Phenomenal’s confrontation with Heart Break Boy. )

Pierre: And there’s a lot for this sold out capacity crowd here in the SAP Center to be excited about Deadprez! Prince of Phenomenal will meet the Heart Break Boy in this very ring tonight, and he plans on putting his fellow EAW Hall of Famer to the test, threatening to “expose” HBB’s injury just one week before the grandest show of them all!

( Another card shows up on the screen, showing a graphic of Andrea Valentine teaming up with TLA to face Andrei Sokolova and Hurricane Hawk. )

Deadprez: And best believe we got some action tonight as well! We got the beautiful Andrea Valentine from Empire teaming up with the A-shows hottest prospect TLA, to take on the dysfunctional and unlikely pairing of Andrei Sokolova and Hurricane Hawk! This one’s gonna be as one sided as a fat kid on a seesaw, after last week how the hell are Sokolova and Hawk gonna have any chemistry?

Pierre: We’ll have to see for ourselves DP –

Deadprez: Don’t you EVER call me that.

(“It’s My Life” By Bon Jovi hits as Rex McAllister is on his way to the ring carrying the EAW Championship by himself donning his street attire and “RexMaster” T Shirt)

Pierre: We haven’t heard anything from Cage but we do know that Diamond Cage is HERE tonight and it looks like Rex is determined to get an answer to the challenge he presented to Cage last week!

Deadprez: Maybe Cage realizes he doesn’t have a chance in hell of beating Rex two times in one night, I think we are finally seeing Cage for what he truly is and that is just a guy who will never be viewed as one of the best.

(“It’s My Life” dies down as Rex McAllister is handed a microphone)

Rex: I’ve wai-

(“Smells Like Teen Spirit” By Nirvana plays through the PA system as Diamond Cage storms down to the ring donning his “Explicit Content” T Shirt)

Pierre: Not so fast, Cage immediately making his way out here and he looks in a particularly foul mood!

Deadprez: When is this angry ass ever happy? I just hope he does the ring thing and accept this challenge and give us a first time ever in our Pain for Pride main event!

(Cage grabs a microphone and stares down with Rex McAllister)

Cage: Before you come out here and start running your mouth. I’m going to entertain you, you came out here last week and you spoke about trying to teach Charlie Marr and Daryl Kinkade about the art of closing. Despite everything you said Diamond Cage is a closer, I’ve been a closer before you were even in this company, Mr. DEDEDE a guy who you said has surpassed me, I closed that chapter when I put his ass in a wheelchair, Starr Stan, I closed when my back was against the wall in his own little elite rules match and I made the technical “wrestling machine” tap out. IF anyone knows about closing in this company it is DIAMOND CAGE!

(Crowd gives a respectable applause)

Cage: Everything you’ve said about me is true, except for the fact that I’ve never been the best because I carried this f*cking company on my back without that damn championship. And you don’t beat men like Mr. DEDEDE and Starr Stan and you don’t win No Way Out Matches with Showdown’s best in it without being THE best and that is exactly what I’ve proven, not only to be one of, but I am better than the best and I prove it every time I step inside this damn ring.

(Cage begins looking at Rex McAllister and a evil smirk begins coming across his face)
Cage: You are a naive fool, you really believe at Grand Rampage you took my best shot? You obviously haven’t followed my career as much as you say you have because at Pain for Pride you will get my best shot and hell I’m the type of guy who will take your best shot, everything you have and if it doesn’t deliver the death blow then I will deliver the death blow. I’m all for putting our chips into the table so Two out of three falls is what you want? And many people view this as a disadvantage because I don’t care about this art of wrestling crap, but I’ll prove those people wrong the same way I’ve been proving people wrong who didn’t even expect me to be here, let alone in the main event one year ago. I accept your challenge and I will beat you in the match you wanted.

(Rex smiles at Cage before he looks at the EAW Championship and begins to speak)

Rex: I didn’t expect you to say anything less, how much of those words are passion though? You are full of passion and that is what will be your ultimate downfall, because while you are so full of passion, I’m full of god-given athletic ability that has made me outlast three hall of famers and has made me the EAW Champion. And at Pain for Pride I will remain the EAW Champion.

(Cage looks around and finally begins to speak)

Cage: Are you done? Just asking because you see we’ve both been running our mouths for quite a while and you know what I’ve had just about enough of what I can normally stomach of you talking. I don’t see any security and around and why wait till Pain for Pride when I can just kick your ass right here San Jose.

Deadprez: AND CAGE FIRES A RIGHT HAND AT REX! AND CAGE ANOTHER! AND HE’S BACKS REX INTO A CORNER AND CAGE REPEATEDLY RAINING DOWN BIG RIGHT HANDS AT REX!!

Pierre: REX FIGHTING BACK AS HE BLOCKS AN INCOMING RIGHT AND RESPONDS WITH A PUNCH OF HIS OWN AND HE’S FIRING BACK AT CAGE! BUT CAGE DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN AND HE BEGINS RAINING DOWN A SERIES OF RIGHT HANDS DOWN ONTO REX!! YOU CAN FEEL THE TENSION, THE INTENSITY AND THE ANIMOSITY BETWEEN THESE TWO MEN WHO WILL FIGHT FOR THE EAW CHAMPIONSHIP FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN A TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS MAIN EVENT!!

Deadprez: LOOK SECURITY, HRDO IS ORDERING SECURITY TO COME DOWN HERE AND SEPARATE THESE TWO!! SECURITY ENTERING THE RING AND HOLDING REX IN ONE CORNER AND CAGE IN THE OTHER!!! BOTH MEN CLAWING TO GET AT EACH OTHER!!! THIS IS OUR PAIN FOR PRIDE MAIN EVENT AND WE CAN’T AFFORD FOR IT TO TURN INTO SOME KIND OF STREET FIGHT!!

(One last shot of Cage and Rex shouting at each other before camera transitions elsewhere)

( COMMERCIAL BREAK.)

( We return to the arena and the camera cuts to Aaron Fitzpatrick in the ring. )

Aaron Fitzpatrick: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!!!

(“The Final Countdown” by Europe hits to loud boos from the crowd as smoke blasts out from the ramp.)

Aaron Fitzpatrick: Introducing first from Cologne, Germany weighing in at 219 pounds he is “The Artist of Suffering” XAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIER ARNOLD!!!

(Xavier Arnold makes his way down towards the ring yelling at the booing fans to respect him.)

Xavier: RESPECT ME! I’M GERMAN!

Pierre: Oh boy another Xavier in EAW. This will not end well.

Deadprez: Are you discriminating against Xavs? I’ll have you know I spoke to Xavier Arnold today and he’s actually quite a distinguished fellow!

Pierre: No but I am getting some strong German Efficiency vibes from this man. Let’s hope that this does not turn out like last time…

Deadprez: I am tired of your anti-German racism Pierre. Sher was a saint!

(“Too Playa (Instrumental” by Migos hits the speakers as the crowd boos loudly when Reza Kordestani emerges from the curtains waving an Iranian flag.)

Aaron Fitzpatrick: And his opponent from NEWPORT BEACH, CALIFORNIA…

(There is a confused silence from the San Jose, California crowd who suddenly stops booing and instead begins cheering for Reza after learning where he now resides.)

Aaron Fitzpatrick: Weighing in at 210 pounds… REZZZZZZZZZZZZZA KORRRRRRRRDESTANI!!!

(Reza Kordestani comes out looking annoyed by the sudden change of reaction from the crowd as he climbs into the ring.)

Deadprez: These ignorant rednecks being exposed for the racists that they are! Booing their own! They need to have some California Pride!

Pierre: Umm I think it actually might have something to do with Reza’s trash attitude recently and the fact he is literally waving an Iranian flag. Maybe he should have brought the California one?

Deadprez: So ignorant. Reza is being accompanied by his fine ass girlfriend Roze! Awww yeah how can you boo this man after seeing DAT!

(DING! DING! DING!)

Pierre: Leggo as Reza immediately slides out the ring. Xav looks annoyed as he challenges Reza to get back up in the ring. But Reza grabs the legs of Xav out from under him! Reza pulling Xav outside the ring under the ropes but Xav lands on his feet! Reza with a series of hard forearms rocking Xav back pushing him up against the apron slamming that arm right into the throat!

Deadprez: Xav still up even after that onslaught of his throat! Reza grabs him and slams him face first into the ring steps! The impact! And again! And again! Reza bashing that face in! Xav tries to block but Reza kicks him hard in the gut and tosses him back into the ring. Reza climbs to the top as Xav is getting up… FLYING FOREARM CONNECTS!!!

Pierre: Xav rocked back into the corner as Reza charges in with a Baseball Slide into the corner! Xav being absolutely destroyed here as Reza grabs him and tosses him across the ring! But Xav ducks and Reza flails around looking for him! Reza finds him and charges in!

Deadprez: Xav catches him with a Spinebuster! That impact as Xav back up and tosses his opponent into the corner! Reza all caught up in the corner as Xav delivers hard punches! Reza trying to slide out but Xav catches him… Exploder Suplex connects! Xav turning the tide here as Reza back up and throws a weak kick caught by Xav… yet another Exploder Suplex connects! Xav with the cover!

ONE!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pierre: Reza crawls into the corner as Xav moves in with hard kicks to the face of Reza getting yelled at by the referee for that! But Xav shoves the referee down! He doesn’t give a damn! Xav charges in and kicks Reza in the balls! Low blow connects!

Deadprez: Xav wildin’ as he reaches down and claws away at the face of Reza! The referee back up now as he threatens to disqualify Xavier Arnold for disrespecting his authority. Reza laughs as he grabs the head of Reza Kordestani and tosses him over the top rope! Reza’s head gets caught in the top rope! He is choking to death! Somebody help this man!

Pierre: The referee runs over trying desperately to pull Reza’s head out from between the ropes! And he succeeds! Reza falls down to the outside… but Xavier is waiting for him… Xav over the top rope with a Flying Bodypress! Both men tumbling to the outside as they lie on the mat! The referee begins the count as both men pull themselves up and slide back into the ring just in time!

Deadprez: Xav slides out of the ring as he grabs a Steel Chair!

Xav: You will respect my German heritage bitch!

Pierre: Xav swinging the chair at full force at Reza Kordestani!

Deadprez: Wait the referee grabbed the chair! Xav turns around in surprise!

Xav: How dare you!

Pierre: But Reza is back up and grabs Xav from behind! He spins him around… Superkick connects!!! Xav falls down collapsing as Reza falls into the cover!!!

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deadprez: The kickout by Xavier Arnold! Reza pulls the chair away from the referee and is looking to use it as a weapon! No Reza! Don’t sink to his level!

Crowd: NO! NO! NO!

Pierre: But Reza doesn’t give a damn what the crowd thinks! Reza swings the chair!!!

Deadprez: BUT XAV DUCKS! REZA LEVELS THE REFEREE WITH THE CHAIR!!!

Pierre: Reza looking on in shock as the referee is down! But then he just shrugs and turns around and nails Xav over the skull with the chair!

Deadprez: I guess if Reza is going to be disqualified he might as well do some damage first!

Pierre: But there is no referee to disqualify him and that one is out cold! Reza driving the steel chair into the throat of Xavier Arnold! And again! And again! Xavier Arnold coughing up blood as Reza looks on smiling sadistically!

Deadprez: Xav might not even make it to Pain for Pride after this! Reza slams the chair down as he picks up Xav… RAGS TO RICHES CONNECTS ON TOP OF THE CHAIR!!! THE COVER BY REZA!!!

Pierre: But there is no referee!

Deadprez: Wait the referee is crawling towards the count! Will he count or will he call for the disqualification?!?!?!?

Pierre: HE IS COUNTING! THIS IS A MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE!!

ONE!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(DING! DING! DING!)

Aaron Fitzpatrick: Here is your winner… REZA KORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDESTANI!!!

(“Too Playa (Instrumental)” by Migos hits as Reza Kordestani celebrates holding up the chair covered in Xavier Arnold’s blood above his head in the ring.)

Deadprez: That referee has sold out the American people!

Pierre: What are you talking about?!?!? Reza is a hometown hero from right here in California and these people love him!

(The camera cuts to a commercial as Reza is shown celebrating and bragging to the hard camera about how he will win the 24/7 Battle Royal.)

( Camera cuts backstage to a more bustling environment than usual with Elitists from other brands, road agents, members of the press and standard employees all going about their business. We see Theron Nikolas walking alongside Jack Ripley as the two look around at all of the commotion. )

Jack Ripley: That time of year, huh.

( The two keep walking, brushing past a few people in the hallway corridor, and Theron doesn’t respond. )

Jack: You got anything planned for tonight?

( Theron briefly checks his phone and silences it before putting away, again not answering Jack. )

Jack: You alright, man?

Theron Nikolas: Yeah, you know though I’m just soaking it all in.

Jack: There’s no time to get caught in the atmosphere. You know I thought a lot about what you said to me last week and every bit of it made sense. You talked sense into me when I needed it the most, and ever since then I’ve been working my ass off non-stop; I’ve practically lived in the gym, I’ve pulled all nighters doing film study on irrelevant bums. This match is mine at PFP, this is my proving ground to show the world that I don’t need Davidson to be successful around here and I never did.

Theron: Yeah… that sounds good. Don’t overwork yourself though, you want to enjoy the moment all the same while it’s still here.

( The two stop walking briefly. )

Jack: Hey, forreal, are you sure you’re alright man? Since when do you care about “the moment”? The Theron I know only cares about winning.

Theron: Of course I’m alright, but it’s hard for me not to soak in the finality of this moment. The winds of change are blowing Ripley, I guess it’s just all registering now with this different environment. Pain for Pride is really do or die for me. If I don’t prove that I’m superior to Ronn Banks, if I allow myself to make even one foolish mistake, this could be the very last Showdown that I ever get to see.

Jack: You ARE better than Banks. That’s not even a question! You’re better than Banks was even in his prime, let alone now. Now he’s just some bitter old business suit who’s been softened by the family life and the corporate environment; the only reason he’s here is because of his ax to grind with people like you and I who make guys like him irrelevant.

Theron: Yeah, I feel you man.

( Jack pats Theron on his shoulders. )

Jack: I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. There’s no need to “soak in” a damned thing, this is just another day at the office.

Theron: Absolutely. I’m not second guessing myself whatsoever, I know what needs to be done and I know what it’s going to take to end Ronn Banks and ascend to the very top of the pyramid. I won’t lie to you, there’s enormous pressure behind that match because that old son of a Bitch has a legacy to fall back on while I have everything to lose. But as the saying goes, the only thing that pressure makes is –

Jack: Diamonds. That’s what I’m talking about. But you’re right about one thing, we can still enjoy ourselves a little bit too. Let’s just take the night off.

Theron: Works for me.

( The two continue walking and they enter a doorway that shows a large, populated lounge-like room with several TV screens, full of people eating and drinking at the counter bar and watching the Showdown broadcast replaying the match that took place earlier. Camera fades somewhere else. )

( “Believer” by Imagine Dragons is heard in the background as Prince of Phenomenal can be seen walking elsewhere backstage dressed in his usual ring gear & vest, holding the National Elite Championship with a confident smirk on his face. )

Pierre: While Theron Nikolas and Jack Ripley seem to be handling the pressure heading into Pain for Pride, Prince of Phenomenal has been promised to put the pressure on Heart Break Boy by EXPOSING his hidden injury before the world, heading into their National Elite Championship LADDER MATCH next weekend at Pain for Pride!

Deadprez: Is POP gonna expose HBB’s weakness heading into the granddaddy of em’ all?! We find out NEXT!

( COMMERCIAL BREAK. )

( Open back up to The SAP Center, shortly after “If I Had A Heart” by Fever Ray hits as the arena goes wild with cheers and Prince of Phenomenal makes his entrance out to the ring. )

Aaron Fitzpatrick: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME YOUR EAW NATIONAL ELITE CHAMPION… PRINCE OF PHENOMENAAAAAALLLLL!!!!!

Pierre: Last week this man right here, the National Elite Champion Prince of Phenomenal attempted to hit HBB where it hurts by bringing out his two daughters Hayden Alea and Hayden Mikayla, and attempting to “coerce” them – if you will – into getting some damaging information out of the Heart Break Boy!

Deadprez: And POP was coming pretty close to getting what he wanted, as we all learned that HBB was hiding an injury of some sort; however before we were able to get any details HBB himself came out, sent his daughters to the back and nearly kicked all of POP’s teeth down his throat!

Pierre: But since then Prince of Phenomenal has promised to come out here tonight and expose HBB’s injury before the world. With that said, let’s give the champ the floor.

( POP’s music dies down and he has a microphone to himself, and the crowd exchanges dual chants of “Let’s go POP!” / “HBB!”. The dual chants go on for a moment, and POP cuts in. )

Prince of Phenomenal: I just got one question for you people… WHO’S READY FOR PAIN FOR PRIDE????

( The crowd explodes with wild cheers, and POP looks around and nods. )

POP: Sounds like a whole lot of you huh! I like that. I know I’m ready for Pain for Pride. I’m so ready for Pain for Pride Festival, I can practically see the sea of humanity that’s going to be there all the way from here! I can smell the smells, I can hear the sounds, I can see the ferris wheels and lights and fireworks in the distance, I can already hear the Migos performance, and Red Hot Chili Peppers, and that chick who looks an awful lot like Reza Kordestani’s manager. I’m so ready, I can even taste the festival food! And I know you all are, I know Aaron Fitzpatrick is ready. I know the timekeeper is ready. I know my man Deadprez and that other cuck is ready.

Pierre: It’s Pierre!

POP: It sounds like EVERYBODY in this building is ready for Pain for Pride 11…. except for one man…. the Heart Break Boy.

( Some of the crowd boos. )

POP: I know, I know… trust me, if anybody is disappointed it’s me. But being gifted in everything you do is essentially a gift and a curse. I proved to be gifted at being a journalist last week, and having such excellent investigative prowess the way I do means unfortunately there are times where you make discoveries that you were hoping to never make. And as you all saw last week from the horse’s mouth – that being HBB’s daughters – the Heart Break Boy is in fact hiding an injury.

Now the God that HBB prays to only knows why the hell he would show his face around here and challenge a guy like me knowing he’s not at 100 percent, but it’s obvious HBB is not ‘all the way there’ upstairs. You have to have a screw loose to think you can be as contemptible as he is and still get into heaven! I mean for gods sakes, his own FAMILY can’t even stand him! But HBB, I’ve gotta admit there’s genius in your madness, because although you clearly are not in touch with reality, your own kids were right about you. You’re an INCREDIBLE performance artist! That may very well be the only thing that you’re still the GOAT at here in Elite Answers Wrestling!

But you can’t keep the wool over my eyes forever HBB. What’s that quote from the bible I’m sure you don’t even read? Luke chapter 8, verse 17: “for nothing is hidden that will not be known and come to light.” I think that’s how it goes. That best describes your situation HBB, you are going to get EXPOSED at Pain for Pride next weekend and you’re going to have your injury exposed tonight-

( “Ice Tray” by Quavo hits, and the entire audience jumps to their feet and give a massive ovation to Heart Break Boy who walks out to the stage in an adidas track pants and tank top, excitedly making his entrance to the ring. HBB walks down the ramp hi-fiving fans on both sides of the aisle, and he enters the ring with an extra pep in his step before being handed a microphone. HBB taunts to the capacity crowd as we get an above shot of all 17,000 fans cheering for him, and his music eventually dies down. )

POP: Glad you could make it. I’m surprised you could even make it out of bed this morning, with your crippled ass.

Heart Break Boy: Real funny, but I wasn’t going to miss the final Showdown of Season 11, especially RIGHT HERE IN THE SHARK TANK!

( The San Jose crowd gives a nice pop. )

POP: Typical HBB, a cheap pop.

HBB: Oh no my friend, the only cheap pop in this arena happens to be standing right here in the ring with me.

POP: That’s real cute HBB, distract and divert from the real problem at hand as usual, no wonder why your entire family hates you.

HBB: Well hang on a second now, my ENTIRE family doesn’t hate me, just my daughters. And I don’t know if you’ve ever been a father to 23 year old daughters but uhh, the majority of them hate their parents.

POP: Look I’m not going to go down this rabbit hole with you alright? The fact of the matter is, I’m only out here right now because I’m here to expose you.

HBB: Ah right, you’re going to “bring my hidden secrets to light.” Glad to know you’re up on your bible lingo, although it doesn’t shock me to see that the devil quotes scripture.

POP: You can demonize me all you want HBB, but believe it or not I’m not a devil whatsoever. As a matter of fact, I should be considered a SAINT for what I’m doing right now, because you still have a chance at backing out of this entire Pain for Pride ordeal right now and saving your own health. Because let’s face the facts, your own children exposed you and if that wasn’t enough you exposed yourself last week during the main event against Rex McAllister.

HBB: Well first off I don’t like all of these unfair accusations, I haven’t exposed myself since Alexander Da Vinci and I pulled that prank on the Vixens locker room one time in 2011!

( POP rolls his eyes. )

HBB: And secondly — the only thing that I exposed in my match against Rex is the level of competition that exists in EAW today. And damn it the competition is incredible! But it’s not insurmountable. Not for the Heart Break Boy. You spent all of this time running your mouth about whether or not I could go, and last week I proved that I still had what it took by defeating the EAW Champion himself.

POP: LOOK YOU OLD BUFFOON STOP WITH THE GAMES! WE ALL SAW IT LAST WEEK, YOU WENT DOWN ON THE CLOTHESLINE WITH REX MCALLISTER AND I SWEAR TO GOD I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO CALL LIFE ALERT FOR YOUR ASS WHEN IT HAPPENED! I DON’T KNOW WHETHER IT’S A TORN BICEP, A SEPARATED SHOULDER, OR WHATEVER – BUT THAT RIGHT ARM IS A TARGET AT PAIN FOR PRIDE, DO YOU HEAR ME?

HBB: Oh lord in heaven, you too? Let me guess, you think I have an injured right arm?

POP: I KNOW you have an injured right arm! NO ONE goes down from hitting their own lariat! If that old bag of dirt and bones Carlos Rosso was able to hit rainmaker lariats harder than you like it’s nothing, what in the hell is your excuse?

HBB: POP, I don’t have an excuse… I’m not injured. My daughters were exaggerating. I assure you, these babies are fine.

( HBB flexes both arms, and POP turns to the crowd in disgust. )

POP: You see this bald headed liar right here??? *turns back to HBB* Look HBB we have it ON VIDEO that you’ve got a messed up arm, and until you’re able to prove otherwise, you are a medical liability to Elite Answers Wrestling!

HBB: Do you want me to prove to you that I’m not injured?

POP: You know what? Prove it. Prove it right now. Prove to me that your right bicep isn’t messed up, and I’ll leave you the hell alone.

HBB: Okay, take a clothesline.

POP: What?

HBB: You heard me. You’re so sure that I’m hurt aren’t you? Then let me do to you what I did to Rex last week, and clothesline you as hard as I possibly can.

POP: …. No! That’s dumb! That’s stupid! That’s crazy! … But you know…it might just be crazy enough to work. Alright HBB, I’ll play your game. I’ll give you a free shot. But if you go down again, I can’t promise that I won’t kick you while you’re down just as a receipt.

HBB: Alright then, get ready.

( Prince of Phenomenal pulls off his vest and flexes his chest muscles, showing off his toned torso. He stands stuff as a statue, closes his eyes, and offers HBB to come at him.

HBB gears himself up, and while POP’s eyes are closed he shushes the crowd, warming up his left arm instead of his right one. HBB CHARGES AT POP!

But at the last second, Prince of Phenomenal jump out of the way just narrowly missing a left armed clothesline from the Heart Break Boy. He quickly picks up his microphone, and HBB busts out laughing. )

POP: AHA!!! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET ME YOU OLD BASTARD! I WASN’T BORN YESTERDAY! I KNEW IT, I KNEW YOU WERE HURT! JUST FORFEIT THE MATCH AND GO BACK TO YOUR RETIREMENT HOME!

HBB: Hey now I was just having a little bit of fun! I’ll do it with my right arm this time, I promise.

POP: YOU SWEAR?

HBB: Mhm.

POP: YOU SWEAR TO GOD?

HBB: If that’ll get you to shut up, then yes I swear on the bible.

POP … Alrighty then. But if you overdo it I’ll get up and kick your ass.

( POP drops the mic, and he gets himself in the same position as before where he stands tall and firmly, ready to absorb the shock of a clothesline. )

Pierre: Heart Break Boy is winding up that right arm of his, looking a little apprehensive…. he’s getting some headway, and….. HBB CHARGES ACROSS THE RING!!!!! BANG!!!!! WHAT A WICKED CLOTHESLINE!!!! HE’S JUST TURNED POP INSIDE OUT, AND KISSES THAT RIGHT BICEP AFTERWARDS BEFORE THE RABID AUDIENCE!

Deadprez: I can’t believe it!

Pierre: Prince of Phenomenal is throwing an absolute fit now at ringside! He’s shaken up, but he’s banging his fists on the floor, cursing up a storm and holding his jaw in excruciating pain!

( HBB picks up a mic from the canvas and leans over the ropes down to where POP is recovering at ringside. )

HBB: Are you alright buddy? I didn’t mean to hit you so hard, but hopefully the conspiracies come to an end.

POP: NOT YET ASSHOLE!

( Prince of Phenomenal pulls himself up from the mat, and he’s handed a microphone by a stagehand, still holding his jaw and frustrated after that attack. )

POP: You aren’t getting out of this that easily you son of a Bitch!

( POP spits out blood from his mouth, and takes a second before continuing. )

POP: I know-I know for a fact that your arm is in searing pain! I don’t know if your old senile brain can even remember this but we have a LADDER MATCH at Pain for Pride for my National Elite belt, meaning you’re not going to be able to get a cheap win over me like you did Rex McAllister. You have to physically pick up a ladder, set it up into position, and grab my title from 15 feet above the ring in order to be victorious. There’s no way you can do that!

HBB: Damn POP I’m surprised you have so little confidence in a man who almost knocked the teeth down your throat.

POP: No, I have zero confidence at all! Newsflash: the last time I had confidence in you, Project EGO DIED! Okay! As far as I’m concerned, from now on you’re going to have to prove every single word you ever say to me, because you weren’t trustworthy five years ago and you obviously aren’t trustworthy now!

HBB: So what do you want me to do, 50 cartwheels in a row or something? What’s next on Prince of Phenomenal’s little obstacle course?

POP: I’ll tell you exactly what I want you to do.

( POP digs underneath the ring apron in front of the commentary booth and pulls out a ladder from underneath the ring. He picks it up, sets it on the ring apron, and slides it in the ring right before HBB’s feet. )

POP: I want you, using only your right arm, to pick that ladder up, set it up in that ring, and climb all the way to the top. ONE ARM ONLY.

HBB: Why, so you can push the ladder over once I get up there? Nice try POP, but I’m not that stupid. See you at Pain for Pride buddy.

( HBB goes to leave, but POP stops him. )

POP: Hey look I swear to God, I will not push that ladder open while you’re on top of it! Is that good enough for you?

HBB: *sigh* Whatever man. If you’re a real man you’ll back your word whether you invoke the Lord’s name or not, but if you pull anything funny I will kick your teeth down your throat.

( HBB drops the mic. )

Pierre: HBB drops the mic now, and it appears he’s going to take POP up on his offer if it’ll shut him up.

Deadprez: If I was HBB I’d tell POP to F off! There’s a reason why it takes us pro wrestlers so long to climb a ladder, we train to dish out bodyslams, not climb ladders! Screw heights!

Pierre: Well HBB is known for his fearless style of offense, and HBB is keeping that arm behind his back and with that right arm he’s painstakingly pulling the ladder up to a vertical base!

Deadprez: Damn HBB looks like he’s having a hard time with that!

Pierre: The ladder is laying vertically against the turnbuckle now, and HBB winds up the right arm in a mocking way before he pulls the ladder open with that sole arm. I’ll admit I’m convinced so far, setting up a ladder is hard to do with two arms, let alone one! Now it looks like HBB is going to begin making the climb, and he shoots POP a look prompting POP to back away holding his arms up as he’s right in front of us now…. Heart Break Boy begins his ascension, and per the rules of a ladder match if HBB can be able to make the same climb next weekend at Pain for Pride Festival he will leave the event with his 5th Pain for Pride victory, and his first win in a title match at Pain for Pride since 2011 against the late great Extreme Enigma!

Deadprez: HBB is doing well, but he kinda looks physically in pain having to scale the ladder. I want to be convinced, but it’s taking a little long even for him! Nonetheless he’s almost at the top of this thing, and has used his right arm to support himself – HEY WAIT A SECOND!!! PRINCE OF PHENOMENAL ON THE APRON! POP HITS A SPRINGBOARD!!! GOING FOR A SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK!!!!

Pierre: HBB CATCHES HIM IN THE ACT, AND JUMPS OFF THE LADDER TO LAND ON HIS FEET! But it looks like POP faked him out! AND HBB LANDS AWKWARDLY ON LEFT LEG! IT LOOKS LIKE HBB MIGHT HAVE ROLLED AN ANKLE! THAT PROMPTS PRINCE OF PHENOMENAL TO ENTER THE RING, AND HE GOES CHARGING AT HBB FOR A CLOTHESLINE!

Deadprez: HBB COMBAT ROLLS UNDER THE ARM, AND HE GETS UP BEHIND POP STILL FAVORING THE LEFT ANKLE! COULD THAT HAVE BEEN THE REAL INJURY HBB’S BEEN HIDING ALL ALONG???

Pierre: POP GOES AFTER HBB — GOLDPRINT!!!!!!!!! HBB WITH THE SUPERKICK FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!

Deadprez: NOBODY HOME! POP DUCKS UNDER THE LEG, AND DOES A ROLLING HEEL HOOK TRANSITION INTO THE CALF CRUSHER!!!! WITH EXTRA TORQUE ON THE ANKLE!!!! HBB IMMEDIATELY TAPS OUT!!!! THAT’S IT! THAT ANKLE IS IT FOR SURE! THAT WAS THE INJURY HBB WAS HIDING ALL ALONG!

Pierre: AND PRINCE OF PHENOMENAL REFUSES TO LET GO OF THAT CALF CRUSHER, DESPITE HBB SCREAMING IN PAIN AND TAPPING HIS HANDS ON THE MAT! NOW A REFEREE SLIDES IN THE RING, BEGGING POP TO PUT A STOP TO THIS, TRYING HIS BEST TO PRY POP AWAY FROM THE ANKLE, BUT PRINCE OF PHENOMENAL WILL NOT BUDGE!

( POP continues to yank on the calf crusher, and he suddenly stops before picking up his National Elite Championship belt and beating on his chest. “If I Had a Heart” by Fever Ray picks back up, and POP his title up to the crowd while standing over a badly hurt HBB. )

Deadprez: After trial and error and some humiliation, Prince of Phenomenal has gotten exactly what he was looking for!

Pierre: It’s looking like that left ankle was the hidden injury all along, but we have to take into account that HBB may have also tweaked his ankle avoiding the oncoming springboard dropkick – or what he perceived to be the springboard dropkick at least.

Deadprez: That’s possible man but we’ve seen HBB pull off moves like that plenty of times! I get it, accidents happen, but something tells me POP doesn’t give a damn either way! He’s found a weakness in the Heart Break Boy, and at Pain for Pride he will exploit it!

( POP backs up on the ramp while a medical professional is helping HBB with his ankle. POP raises the title with one hand and a fist with the other and the camera slowly fades to commercial. )

( COMMERCIAL BREAK. )

( The camera cuts to Aaron Fitzpatrick in the ring.)

Aaron Fitzpatrick: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!!!

(“Team Xtreme” by Yung Flex hits to cheers from the crowd.)

Aaron Fitzpatrick: Introducing first from Richmond, Virginia weighing in at 200 pounds… VIKTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRR JACKSONNNNNNNN!!!!

(Viktor Jackson comes running down to the ring doing a flip over the top rope as he poses for his fans.)

Deadprez: Viktor Jackson looks ready for PFP weekend! He looks pumped and excited to be here!!!

Pierre: He may change his tune after this match! Shane Gates is no joke! Both of these men as you know Deadprez are competing in the 24/7 Battle Royal at the big event. That will definitely be one of the highlights to watch as it is every year!!!

Deadprez: Viktor has promised that he is going to shove his foot down Shane’s throat tonight! Let us see if he can follow through!!!

(“Into the Fire” by Asking Alexandria hits to a mixed reaction from the fans as Shane Gates comes out to the ring accompanied by his manager Handa Seishisai.)

Aaron Fitzpatrick: And his opponent… from Huntington Beach, California weighing in at 210 pounds… “THE NATURAL BORN KILLER” SHANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GATES!!!

(Shane Gates and Handa Seishisai enter the ring as a pit of fire is shown on the ring canvas causing Viktor to step back for a second as he wasn’t expecting its appearance.)

Pierre: Shane Gates looking to start this entire match on fire! He is out of control!

Deadprez: Umm I think that is just a special effect Pierre. I am sure we will see many more like it at PFP.

Pierre: I’m not that stupid Deadprez. I knew it was a special effect. Obviously.

Deadprez: I bet.

(DING! DING! DING!)

Deadprez: This match is all underway as Shane Gates fires himself across the ring ignoring a chance to lock up with Viktor Jackson shoving his opponent back into the corner and kicking him repeatedly! Shane with a series of kicks until his opponent begins to drop in the corner and now unloading with the punches to the head! Handa is shown smiling outside the ring as Shane continues to destroy his opponent with those vicious strikes!

Pierre: Shane keeps going in as the referee forces him off but he pushes back just as Viktor is pulling himself up and slams his Shoulder Thrust hard into the gut of Viktor! Viktor spitting out in pain as he collapses in the ring but Shane follows him quickly grabbing him from behind as he recovers and locks in a Dragon Sleeper! Shane trying to put his opponent to sleep as he wrenches back on that neck!

Deadprez: Viktor struggling on his knees as he slowly makes his way over to the ropes… He reaches out…

Pierre: And he grabs them forcing Shane Gates to release the hold! Shane immediately back on his opponent as he runs the ropes dropping a knee onto the face of Viktor! Viktor crawls into the ropes but Shane follows him pressing his knee against the head choking out his opponent on the ropes! The referee again forcing him off as Viktor rests in the corner. Shane grabs him by the arm and whips him across the ring to the other side. Shane charges in…

Deadprez: But Viktor Jackson climbs up the ropes and jumps over him! Shane turns around and charges in with a Clothesline… but Viktor dodges that too! Viktor off the ropes… Springboard Crossbody connects! Both men back up as Shane charges in but gets caught by Viktor from the side who drops him on his knee for a devastating Backbreaker! Shane holding his back in pain as he gets back up but Viktor is waiting to catch him… and hits yet another Backbreaker!

Pierre: Viktor runs off the ropes… but is tripped by Handa from the outside! The referee didn’t see it! Viktor yelling at Handa and pointing angrily but I can’t make out what he is saying. Possibly telling her to get the hell out of here. Wait Viktor is going outside the ring now!

Deadprez: Shane Gates grabs him before he does and throws him across the ring! Viktor turns around… as Gates connects with a Superkick! Viktor falling to the mat knocked the hell out as Gates goes for the cover!

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pierre: The kick out by Viktor! Shane back up as he stomps away at his opponent on the mat. Stomp after stomp as Shane dishes out that punishment!

Deadprez: WAIT VIKTOR GRABBED THE LEG OF SHANE! VIKTOR PULLING SHANE DOWN BY THE LEG AS HE FLIPS OVER HIM FOR THE COVER!!!

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pierre: The kickout! Viktor nearly stealing the match from Shane right there with that surprise rollup! Both men back up as Shane immediately takes down Viktor with a running axe smash. Shane back in control as he grabs Viktor by the hair and drags him back up.

Deadprez: Viktor connects with an Enziguri out of nowhere! Shane gates sent to the mat looking down and out! Wait Handa is up on the apron! Viktor off the ropes… and connects with a Dropkick taking the manager off the apron! Shane getting back up now as Viktor is lurking waiting for him. Viktor lifts Shane up above his head… Fireman’s Carry Slam connects!!!

Pierre: Viktor Jackson grabbing the legs of Shane Gates as he flips him over into a Boston Crab! Gates screaming in pain as Viktor has that Boston Crab locked in in the middle of the ring! Wait Handa is up on the apron yet again! Get him the hell outta here! Viktor breaking the hold as he goes in punching Handa knocking him off the apron yet again!

Deadprez: The roll up by Shane Gates from behind!

ONE!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pierre: Viktor Jackson kicks out as he immediately gets back up looking pissed. Shane backing off as Viktor charges in taking him down with a Running Lariat! Shane back up by Viktor grabs him and connects with a Belly to Belly Suplex! Viktor Jackson is rolling and after the interference from Handa the crowd is solidly behind Viktor to pull this thing off! We love an underdog!

Deadprez: Viktor signalling for the end right here as he awaits the rise of Shane Gates… Shane Gates up as he turns around!

Pierre: Viktor Jackson connects with the Hard Reset! The Rolling DDT has Shane Gates’ eyes rolling into the back of his head! The cover! It’s all over!

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deadprez: But Handa Seishisai has entered the ring and the referee is demanding he leaves! The referee threatening to disqualify Shane Gates right here after all this constant interference! Handa arguing with the referee as Viktor Jackson is up and he looks pissed off! He had this thing won!

Pierre: Viktor Jackson charges in grabbing Handa by the throat! The referee jumps back out of the way and trips over Shane Gates in the ring!

Deadprez: The referee has taken a minor fall and looks to be knocked out cold!

Pierre: HANDA WITH THE GREEN MIST TO THE EYES OF VIKTOR JACKSON!!!

Deadprez: Viktor Jackson screaming in pain as he has been blinded and is writhing in pain on the ground! Shane Gates up now grabbing his blinded opponent as he picks him up… LAST HOPE CONNECTS!

Pierre: Here comes another referee from backstage as Shane Gates is crawling towards the cover! NOT THIS WAIII!

Deadprez: The referee slides into the ring to make the count!

ONE!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(DING! DING! DING!)

Aaron Fitzpatrick: Here is your winner… SHANE GATESSSSSSSSSS!!!

(The crowd has a mixed reaction as “Into the Fire” by Asking Alexandria hits and Shane Gates has his arm raised. Medical staff swarm into the ring to clean the eyes of Viktor Jackson as he continues to writhe in pain on the mat.)

Pierre: Viktor Jackson screwed here tonight! You can bet he will be looking for revenge after tonight in that 24/7 Battle Royal!

Deadprez: There is no doubt about that. You also have to wonder if Handa will be involved in the battle royal at PFP! As you saw tonight he can definitely make a difference out there!

(The camera cuts to a commercial for the Pain for Pride Festival request forum. While the lineup of music for the show has been finalized we request that you continue to send in requests for other artists in order to annoy our staff. We appreciate your continued efforts.)

( We open up to one of Mr. DEDEDE’s homes, a 21,000 square ft french normandy style mansion in the Ashley Ridge section of Hidden Hills, California. We get an aerial shot of the home, and get a view of the grand patio out back showing the pool, two jacuzzis, a couple of guest houses and a roofed patio lounge connected to the pool; with TVs mounted, circular couches, a sports bar and a dining table inside it. )

( In the patio lounge, we see Ronn Banks, HRDO and Mr. DEDEDE seated around the table what they’re having food served to them. HRDO is dressed in a form fitting checkered button down and dress slacks, Ronn Banks is wearing a ‘Trust The Process’ hoodie with his hair combed over, and Mr. DEDEDE is dressed in jeans and his GMC Sheriff vest over a long sleeved shirt. They are mid conversation. )

HRDO: And you know back then security was, like, close to non-existent at that time. If a fan tried to bum rush the ring or cause any type of commotion backstage it was pretty much up to us to knock the shit out of them. We were our own security in a way. Now every EAW event is crawling with undercover cops.

Ronn Banks: It’s a different environment now not only just how there’s way more security but ironically it’s because of the way less need for it. I mean shit, basically everybody’s friends with everybody now compared to before. I mean you can look at that Shane Gates kid on Showdown who’s been a problem, but in 08′ everybody sort of acted like that. Hell HRDO the thing between you and I when we had that big rivalry in the summer of 08′ was like guerilla warfare in a sense.

HRDO: Yeah and that’s why I think I can speak for you guys when I say that I’m generally lax about that kind of thing happening in this company. I mean of course, we ramp things up like suspensions, fines, security measures to keep the talent safe – but when push comes to shove we still allow people to handle their business like men. Even though the environment is way more tame that is.

Banks: God knows nowadays DDD would’ve been fined like 40 or 50 times a year.

( The three legends laugh. )

HRDO: Yeah no kidding, at least I tried to destroy people in the ring, this guy though, “The Sheriff” was no law abiding citizen.

( They all chuckle. )

Banks: Oh man if you took 2008 DDD and put him into 2018 EAW, he’d be his own biggest nightmare. I mean obviously DDD you weren’t the only guy wilding out and the stuff you did at that time was amazing, but jesus christ you were impossible to deal with. Sometimes I wonder if you’re the same human being.

DDD: Hahaha, I know I know. Nah I was cloned man, they took the real Ryan Adams out after you retired him and replaced me with a flesh android.

HRDO: Won’t the real Ryan Adams please stand up.

DDD: But yeah back then it was definitely me moving on tunnel vision a lot of times, and to be honest nowadays I have my moments where I get in that place. It’s not like you and HRDO were model citizens either, but then again the law of the land was “take what’s yours” , “fight for respect” , “bleed or make others bleed.”

HRDO: We talk a lot about how people today are incredibly entitled, but all of us back then were entitled as hell! The difference is back then when we felt entitled to something we would literally maim to take it.

Banks: True.

DDD: True that. A lot of the game back then was psychological, territorial, a lot of it was making your mark in your opponents head and renting space in their psyche. Hell I’m sitting in front of HRDO for god’s sakes, dude you were basically Freddy Krueger when it came to getting in people’s heads.

HRDO: Oh yeah, intimidation was a big factor.

Banks: DDD can you imagine if some of these kids now had to stand toe to toe with Demon HRDO? Like old school, 07-08 masked Demon HRDO?

DDD: Oh they’d soil themselves.

HRDO: Don’t sell yourself short either Banks, don’t act like you weren’t crushing all competition back then yourself. One day you’d be in the boardroom demolishing territories and running people out of business left and right, and the next you’d be demolishing locker rooms and cultivating the Generation Genesis.

Banks: Bro I was a bad man, still am a bad man, but you tried to set me ON FIRE. Hell in AWF you tried to hang Crude at a house show!

HRDO: (laughs) That was one time! Besides if I can recall correctly you deserved it bastard, after I got fucked at Pain for Pride 1 by the both of you!

DDD & Banks: Pause.

( The three of them laugh, and HRDO begins buttering his croissant and eating it. )

DDD: It’s cool that after all that we’ve been through in our careers we can sit back on peaceful terms and reminisce about it. But at the time everything felt like life or death. I don’t know if there’s that same sense of urgency these days from everybody.

Banks: I wish I could adapt as easily as you can to this era DDD, I swear to God the mentality of some of these people drives me up the fucking wall. I have no idea how you could tolerate it for so long.

DDD: Well as a competitor I don’t think I spare anyone, I still feel like I have that killer instinct in the ring. At this point with where I’m at I basically see every match I’m in in slow motion, so really anybody with a weak mentality is going to be exposed against me in the ring.

Banks: Well I’m more so talking about as an authority figure.

DDD: Oh as far as that’s concerned I’m arguably way too tolerant these days. If anything it’s huge for EAW that you two are back and saddled up and in the position that you are to put your foot down concerning a lot of things. EAW was definitely in a good groove for a while but we were talking about this the other day Ronn –

Banks: Right, basically we discussed how what really happened was too many people around here just got way too comfortable.

DDD: Yep, that was all you who brought that up. And obviously it starts from the top so I share some blame,

( DDD interrupts himself and asks for a refill on his drink. )

HRDO: Oh well same here, I mean that whole 2015, 2016, 2017 era had some great moments competition wise but the mentality was just so… “spoon feed me opportunities, appease me and my friends, give us what we want, we don’t want to take any advice.”

DDD: It was a locker room divided by echo chambers, and they all wanted to be catered to.

Banks: Exactly. Hell when I came back a year ago it was rampant, everybody wanted all of their needs and their friends needs catered to. I just think back to how the dressing room environment was like back at the first Pain for Pride, and no doubt about it there was its own fair share of drama and fuckery, I mean nobody needed to be babysat but it was virtually a war zone at that time. But going into Pain for Pride 10 it was easy to be fooled by the atmosphere that things were a lot more docile. That OBVIOUSLY wasn’t the case though, because everyone moved their dirty deeds behind closed doors.

( A food servant places a large platter of lobster and another platter of freshly baked buttered rolls at the table. DDD takes some lobster and starts dipping it in butter and eating. )

HRDO: Well EAW is by far more corporate than it’s ever been, which has less to do with the roster and more to do with the advancements management has taken. But some people who got into power weren’t right for EAW.

Banks: Yeah man… some people just couldn’t handle their influence responsibly. Like as fondly as I look back at Pain for Pride 10 and how successful it was, just like every Pain for Pride is a crazy success, I still can’t help but feel like this year’s Pain for Pride is truly the show that comes full circle. The power in this company is really delegated between the three of us again in the exact same way it was back in 2008 when we were incredibly influential, and we have a good handle on the necessary outlook for this company going forward because we know the right mentality that we want to breed here and we’re establishing proper expectations.

HRDO: So let me ask you both then… from the point of view you have now, would you say this is the most important Pain for Pride for you since Pain for Pride 1?

Banks: …. In a way, yes. I mean first off let’s not get it twisted, Pain for Pride 1 was an integral part of the success of this company.

( DDD and HRDO audibly agree. )

Banks: Right? Like that can’t be stressed enough. If Pain for Pride 1 isn’t a success, we lose the war against ACW, hell we probably get put in the same level as XWF or TWL. But this time around in 2018 Pain for Pride is going to help determine what EAW’s ceiling truly is. Are we just riding the wave of a fad to the fullest extent and maximizing profit off of it? Or is EAW a staple in culture, in history, will it make a difference in the world? Is EAW the ABA or is it Disney? Is EAW Ask Jeeves or is it Google?

HRDO: Damn, I’ve never seen an Ask Jeeves reference be so profound.

DDD: Yeah… that’s really profound and accurate. I have a personal answer and a professional answer to your question HRDO, I feel like professionally yes Pain for Pride 11 is the most important event, because my match isn’t just about me – it’s about a much bigger community.

HRDO: Here we go.

Banks: Oh god, no offense and all man but this gay thing…

DDD: It’s true! Cammy-cam-cam and I are going into this fighting for causes so much bigger than us! In fact tomorrow I’m gonna be in San Francisco with the baes for the Pride Parade! You both are invited of course, along with Kinkade Marr and the Dragon Slayers.

Banks: I think we’ll pass. I love you, I love Cam, you’re both respective GOATs but lord have mercy I just can’t do it. And please for the love of god don’t let anything happen to Kinkade and Marr at that parade, I’m begging you.

( The three laugh, with Banks facepalming while laughing. )

HRDO: So DDD maybe it’s just me being the confused and stuck in his ways old head that I am, but you’ve really been gay the entire time that we’ve known you? Even back when you were that ruthless psychopath, back in the Methuselah days, hell back when you and CIC and MVM and Mak and the other guys were passing women around, you’re telling me that you were secretly taking it up the – you know where???

DDD: Well I’m not a TOTAL faggot, like I don’t just wake up in the morning and think “dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks.” I’ve always been attracted to women and I still am; but I’ve neglected my gay side so much so that I wouldn’t come off as weak or intimidating or as a joke. You know how the old days were, I wouldn’t be taken half as serious if I was the Sheriff of the Gay Meat Community in 2009.

HRDO: I see.

DDD: I mean one great thing about this era we’re in now is the inclusivity and the ability for people to be who they want to be without feeling judged, and I feel like now’s the time more than ever to let who I truly am shine! It’s been an incredible personal journey, an incredibly lucrative personal journey too. I’ve probably made more of a fortune the last couple of months than I have the year prior.

Banks: Damn really? That’s a hell of a benefit.

DDD: Yep, being gay sure pays! There’s always room for one more on the GMC!

Banks: I’m good :sas2:

HRDO: Don’t you have a book coming out too?

DDD: Oh it’s out already dad! Number 1 New York Times Best Seller baybay! And my audiobook is topping the charts as well! And let me just tell you since I came out as gay blessings upon blessings have showered me like I like to be showered by –

Waiter: Cumberland Farms ice cream?

( A waiter places a dish of vanilla ice cream at the table, as well as three bowls for the legends to help themselves. )

HRDO: Well look, as weirded out as I am by the gay thing, it’s definitely the most at peace that I’ve seen you look in the 12 years I’ve known you. You also said something about how you had another Pain for Pride that might mean more to you personally?

DDD: (while eating the vanilla ice cream): Oh yeah, the one in Houston, Pain for Pride 4.

HRDO: Ahhh.. that was definitely a consequential show huh?

DDD: Well shit, Banks could tell you that.

Banks: For sure, I got a chance to meet basically my mentor in this business in the headline match of the biggest show in pro wrestling and beat him.

HRDO: I get chills just thinking about how it all came full circle. I mean starting at Pain for Pride 1 when you Ronn were the one as special guest referee for DDD and I’s MOTY, and then flash forward from 2008 to 2011 and I’m the one doing the three count in order for you to defeat DDD.

DDD: Yeah, and you know Ronn I was in the exact same situation you’re in right now.

Banks: Ehhh… how so?

HRDO: We HAVE to talk about that. I guess in the moment we kind of forgot, but I mean it’s truly do or die for you now isn’t it Ronn?

Banks: Yeah it is, but I don’t know if it’s exactly like our thing from P4P, DDD.

DDD: Well I just meant your career is on the line this go around, and I mean let’s face it… Theron doesn’t really give a damn about your legacy, the same way you didn’t give a damn about my legacy at the time when my career was on the line for our match. And of course when it comes to a stage like that winning means everything, so I’m not blaming you for it just like I don’t really blame Theron for going out there and playing to win.

Banks: Well just to bring up some proper context, at the time you and I faced each other I had just felt strongly about the way you were going about things. If anything I cared about your legacy in a huge way, because your legacy intertwines with EAW’s.

DDD: Yeah yeah yeah, you sure you didn’t just want “retired Mr. DEDEDE” on your resume?

Banks: Nah man, I’m not gonna be dishonest here of course that’s huge for anybody, but from my perspective it goes without saying how much you’ve done for this industry. But to me that whole season 4 was just one controversy after another with you at the time, and any messed up thing that you were a part of whether it was the Road to Redemption 2010 scandal or anything else of that matter was a negative reflection on EAW as a whole.

DDD: Ah man, 8 years later and you still hold RTR over my head huh.

HRDO: I think that was a pretty tumultuous time in general –

Banks: Right, but there’s no way in hell I could ever be put in the same breath as Theron.

DDD: Not at all, you definitely misinterpreted what I said; I just meant you’re going into a Pain for Pride match with the same kind of pressure that I had on me at Pain for Pride 4. I definitely don’t look at you the way I do Theron.

Banks: Good, I was getting worried. That guy man…. I swear, you take every negative, cancerous, arrogant, spoiled childish dickhead that’s been running roughshod in EAW and you combine them into one person, it’s Theron. Both of you guys have to admit this was a monster festering into what he’s become under both of your watch.

HRDO: Well, I’ve tried to keep things as neutral as I can but if I can be candid here I’m certainly aware that Theron is beyond reproach. Like I said before though, I try not to overly police the way guys develop here in EAW because what truly made this company great to begin with was the freedom to carve out a spot, or a “niche” if you will here, without management telling you who to associate with and what to do.

Banks: Here’s the thing bro; unless you, me, Masters, Mak, Andy, James and Starr all get back into a full-time schedule this generation is never going to randomly adopt the same mentality as the guys from our era on instinct, because these kids are going to build around what they’re given. If these kids enter an EAW where they can build on an already established concrete foundation, they’re going to take the foundation for granted. But if you force them to build on sand, THEY have to lay the foundation for themselves and they’ll have to inevitably show some respect because these days people don’t respect the makers of the formula, they would just rather butcher the formula. Theron in his mind doesn’t have to respect anybody because he walked into the easiest time to be an EAW Elitist and found a little bit of success and let it get to his head.

DDD: I don’t know about “easy”, don’t you think that’s a bit harsh?

Banks: Look I’m not saying they’re untalented, this is an extremely talented generation; however they don’t have the same trials and tribulations as they did back then, that’s the point I’m making. There’s a lot of younger guys I’m huge fans of, the Marr’s and Kinkade’s, the Noah Reigner’s, on Empire you’ve got girls like Maddie, Andrea, Astraea. EAW right now is in a hell of a great spot compared to before and it’s our job to create an environment where people can’t rest on their laurels and depend on their loyalties with the higher ups for advancement. And as for Theron, he represents the last of that era; but I’m going to make sure Theron breaks his neck when he’s knocked off of that high horse, because I’m going to take him off of that pedestal myself. Then he can join the rest of the pieces of shit in their dumpster fire ass promotions.

( Banks takes a sip of water, and DDD and HRDO look at each other smiling at the awkward silence. )

DDD: So how about them gas prices.

( The three laugh at the inside joke. A doorbell is heard from afar. )

DDD: Uh oh the models are here.

HRDO: Models?

Banks: DDD man HRDO and I are married men, we’re not trying to cheat on our wives.

DDD: Oh no, these are male models, not your type. Don’t worry though they’re just here to drop a load off, I’ll be right back real quick.

( HRDO and Banks exchange bewildered looks. )

HRDO: Did he say… load?

( HRDO and Banks continue to eat their food and the broadcast goes to commercial. )

( FINAL COMMERCIAL BREAK.)

( We open back up to the cheering capacity crowd in San Jose. )

( DING! DING DING! )

Aaron Fitzpatrick: The following contest is our MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!!!!!

(”Ambitionz az a Ridah” by Tupac blasts through the speakers as TLA walks out onto the stage)

Aaron Fitzpatrick: Introducing first, residing in The Poon Palace, in Miami, Florida, weighing in at 210 pounds.. He is the REVOLT Welterweight Champion… ”La Pantera Sexual… T…. L… A…!!!!!

Pierre: Here comes TLA a competitor in the Openweight Championship match at Pain For Pride. As a matter of fact, so is his partner! And his opponents!

Deadprez: Yeah.. We get it, this is a Pain For Pride preview, just like Aaron announced. You didn’t have to be weird about it, it’s not a surprise.

Pierre: You know Prez, some people say that TLA is the favorite to win, what you do you think?

Deadprez: Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t.

(TLA gets in the ring, and jumps up balancing his body on the ropes in the corner, resting quite comfortably. TLA’s entrance music dies down, and “Roll With Me” by Charli XCX; plays throughout the arena. Andrea Valentine walks out with both arms extending into the air.)

Aaron Fitzpatrick: And his partner, from Orlando, Florida, weighing in at 110 pounds…. ANNNDRREEAAAA… VALLLLEEENTIIINNNEEE!!!

Pierre: Andrea Valentine is also in the Openweight Championship match! But today she finds herself partnering up with one of her opponents in that match! Can they co exist?

Deadprez: I mean, if she was smart? She’d just leave, but she’s not the GOAT Deadprez, so you know… She probably won’t.

Pierre: You know Prez, some say that Andrea Valentine is the favorite to win, what do you think?

Deadprez: Maybe she is, maybe she isn’t.. We shall see who wins.

(Andrea walks over to TLA gives him a hi-five, and turns around back to the entrance, as TLA checks out her ass. “No Regrets” by Pusha T starts playing, and Hurricane Hawk walks out. He sways his hips to the audience, and walks down the ramp.)

Fitzpatrick: And there opponents, introducing first, residing in Oakland, California, weighing in at 225 pounds, “The ShowSlayer”.. and the REVOLT! Light Heavyweight Champion… HURRRIIICAAAAANNNEEE HAAAAAAWWWK!!

Deadprez: I swear Pierre if you say the same dumbass shit that you’ve been saying.. I’m going to slap the shit out of you. We know Hurricane Hawk is apart of the Openweight Championship, and we know he’s tagging with one of his opponents in the match.

Pierre: Ok, but as seen last week Hawk and his partner this week Andrei got in a fight! That adds some tense aspects to this match to be on the lookout for..

Deadprez: True, these two might have a little trouble getting along.

Pierre: You know Prez, some say that Hurricane Hawk is the favorite to win, what do you think?

Deadprez: I hate you… That’s what I think.. I hate you with every fiber of my being.

(“Pray For Me” by G-Eazy blares through the speakers as Andrei Sokolova makes his way down to the ring.)

Fitzpatrick: And his partner… Residing in Doncaster, England…. Weighing in at 240 pounds… He is the “Agent of Chaos”.. and the REVOLT! World Heavyweight Champion … ANDREEEIIII SOKOLOVVVVVAAAAA!!

Deadprez: Hey did you by chance hear that Andrei is the favorite?

Pierre: I did actually, how’d you know that?

Deadprez: Just a hunch…

(Andrei walks down the ramp, and goes right up to Hawk. He takes off his REVOLT! Heavyweight Championship and raises it over his head. Hawk takes off his REVOLT! Light Heavyweight Championship and raises it over his head in a retort. They both just stare at each other with their respective titles raised.)

Pierre: Tense moment here. Both believing they are the best import that REVOLT! had to offer, and they have the chance to prove it right here tonight! The ref now getting in between them, and leading them over to their corner, so we can get this match started.

(DING! DING! DING!)

Pierre: And away we go! We start off this match with Andrei and TLA facing off. The REVOLT! Heavyweight Champion vs. the REVOLT! Welterweight Champion, and I’m sure TLA wants to prove that he is the best champion to come out of REVOLT! Just as Andrei does, and just as Hawk does. Andrei and TLA meet in the middle of the ring, and start off with a collar and elbow tie up. TLA stomps on the foot of Andrei, and takes over. Dropkick by TLA square into the jaw of Andrei, and he goes down. Andrei rolls out of the ring.

Hawk: What are you doing! Get back in the ring pussy! I’m not losing because of you!

Pierre: Heated exchange there, as Hawk seems to be berating his partner. Andrei doesn’t say anything, just looks at him with an intense stare, but Hawk isn’t backing down from his comments. Andrei gets back up on the ring apron, before quickly getting back into the ring. TLA now charging right back at Andrei, and he’s greeted with a spinning heel kick! TLA was caught off guard by that. But he’s back up to his feet, but Andrei isn’t slowing down his offensive onslaught. Spinning backfist, and another, spinning back heel kick, and finishes it off with a Snap Reverse DDT! He covers him.

Ref: One! Two!

Deadprez; No! TLA kicks out. Hurricane Hawk now jawing at Andrei. Andrei walks over to him, and gives him a hard tag to the shoulder. Andrei steps aside and guides Hawk into the ring! Hawk is looking a little peeved at that display. But Hawk now going after TLA, standing headscissors takedown. Now TLA dives over to the corner and tags in Valentine! Andrea hits a clothesline on Hawk, he gets back up and is greeted with a Backflip Handstand Headscissors Takedown. Andrea is coming in hot here! Hawk is stirring, trying to get up to his feet, but Andrea isn’t giving him any time to breath as she drop kicks him right in the face! Hawk is rattled, and Andrea seems to be looking to end it early! She’s heading to the top rope! Hawk seems dazed and confused, here she comes! V-Day! NO POWERBOMB! Hawk just countered that into a powerbomb, and Andrea might be out cold. Hawk isn’t going for the pin though, he has to make sure Andrei knows that he just did that. Andrei is clearly getting frazzled by this.

Pierre: Well I would too! If you have a chance to win the match, win the damn match. You don’t have to show off that you did a good thing, we know it, capitalize on it. He’s acting like a puppy starving for admiration for a good deed, get over yourself. Oh from behind Andrea rolls Hawk up.

Ref: One! Two! Thre-

Pierre: No Hawk kicked out! But that was close. Hawk rolls back up to his feet, and delivers a fierce, KINGSLAYER! SUPERKICK CONNECTS! right to the face of Andrea. He picks her back up and whips her across the ring against the ropes. She comes back and is greeted with another KINGSLAYER! Another superkick! It looks like he’s getting ready for it, He’s looking for the Legacy Cutter… Andrea is getting up!.. TAG! Andrei just tagged himself in. Hawk looks pissed, but here comes Andrei regardless. He picks Andrea up, and throws her into the corner, and follows it up with a big boot right into the face! She crumbles down to the mat. Andrei picks her back up, and delivers a snap suplex! He hangs on to her, and swivels his hips, and delivers ANOTHER snap suplex! He keeps a hold of her still, and YET AGAIN ANOTHER SNAP SUPLEX.. He’s trying for one more.. He picks her back up, and DELIVERS ANOTHER Snap suplex. Her back must be in so much pain! He rolls up to his feet, still with her in his grasps, and picks her up! SNAP POWERBOMB! The cover.

Ref: One! Two! Thr–

Deadprez: No! TLA breaks up the pin, and is able to drag Andrea over closer to the corner.

Hawk: Come ON! ANDREI YOU’RE FUCKING TRASH! YOU HEAR ME YOU HUMAN GARBAGE BIN! PIN HER, WIN THIS.. THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO DO!

Deadprez: Hawk is talking shit in the corner again. I don’t think Andrei is going to stand for it! Here he comes! Oh.. He tagged Hawk, and is now standing outside the just watching.

Andrei: Go on then..

Deadprez: Hawk turns back to the ring where TLA is waiting. CROSSED PATHS! TLA has Hawk in that Cross Armbreaker! Hawk is trying to reach for the ropes, but TLA has him right in the middle of the ring. Hawk is calling out for Andrei to come back into the ring and help out, but he’s not coming back. Hawk is reaching down deep, and slithering closer to the ropes. Inching slowly. He’s almost to the bottom rope to break the pin.. TLA gets up and pulls Hawk back to the middle of the ring! Andrei rolls back into the ring! He’s going to help Hawk out! He’s smiling! Andrei just rolled out of the ring, and is cheering Hawk on! I think he’s being sarcastic Pierre! It looks like Hawk is going to tap out here! Wait! Hawk is gauging at the eyes of TLA! And he’s forced to break the hold. Hawk up now, TLA can’t see. Zig-Zag! Hawk coiling into position, he’s looking for the Legacy Cutter! Here it comes! WAIT DIVING CROSSBODY. Andrea just hit a cross body onto Hawk.. BUT ANDREI IS BACK! Guess he had a change of heart. CONTROL YOUR CHAOS ON ANDREA! She flops out of the ring.

Pierre: TLA FROM BEHIND JUST TOSSES ANDREI OUT OF THE RING, AND NOW TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO HAWK! KICK TO THE STOMACH! MEXICAN DESTROYER!! IT CONNECTS! HERE’S THE PIN!

Ref: ONE! TWO! THREE!!!

(Ding! Ding! Ding!)

(Ambitionz az a ridah’ by Tupac starts playing as TLA gets up and starts celebrating. Andrea joins him in the ring and raises his arm in the air. He proceeds to then check out her ass again. The ref comes in the ring, and gives TLA his REVOLT! Welterweight Championship, and lays the Light heavyweight Championship on Hurricane Hawk. Andrei looks on from the outside. )

Fitzpatrick: Here is your winners of the match, the team of Andrea Valentine, and T L A!

Pierre: Well that was a nice Pain For Pride preview, wouldn’t you say Prez?

Deadprez: Well tensions sure were high for the team of Andrei and Hawk, and TLA and Andrea seemed to take advantage of that…. Wait!

(TLA holds the ropes down for Andrea when out of nowhere Andrei comes from behind)

Pierre: CONTROL YOUR CHAOS! ANDREI SOKOLOVA CAME FROM BEHIND AND HIT TLA WITH HIS FINISHER, HE’S LAID OUT! HE NOW TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO ANDREA VALENTINE, SEEING RED! RUNNING BICYCLE KNEE TO ANDREA! SHE OUT! … WHAT’S HE DOING? HE’S TURNING TO HIS PARTNER HAWK!

Deadprez: EX PARTNER PIERRE! THAT PARTNERSHIP WAS NEVER GOING TO BE FOR THE LONG TERM YOU FOOL! HE PICKS UP HAWK AND DELIVERS A CONTROL YOUR CHAOS TO HIM AS WELL!

Pierre: Andrei Sokolova has come unhinged here, and is standing tall in the middle of the ring. He’s walking back over to TLA, and picks up his REVOLT! Welterweight Title. He’s walking back over to Hawk, and he’s picking up his REVOLT! Light Heavyweight Championship..

Andrei: REF! GIVE ME MY DAMN TITLE!

(The ref rushes over to Andrei holding the REVOLT! World Heavyweight Championship)

Andrei: Put it around my waist.. NOW!

(The Ref straps the REVOLT! World Heavyweight Championship around Andrei’s waist, and he hoists the REVOLT! Light Heavyweight Title, and REVOLT! Welterweight Title in the air, as all his opponents lay on the mat)

Pierre: Tonight, Andrei Sokolova is standing tall as the King of REVOLT! And quite possibly EAW altogether! Will this be the scene at Pain For Pride? Join us Thursday to find out! WE’LL SEE YOU THE FOLKS! THE BIGGEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER!

( EAW logo buzzes )