(EAW Intro plays)
(Camera opens to a panning shot of the outside of the Jeunesse Arena in Rio de Janeiro as we see it cut down to see a red carpet and photographers there as a limousine arrives and cameras immediately begin flashing as Ahren Fournier steps out of the limo wearing a black fur coat over a custom made black suit by Tom Ford with a signature lapel on the blazer that Tom likes to call “The Fournier”. He also has a pair of sunglasses and the EAW Championship over his shoulder with his umbrella in the opposite hand as reporters begin to move in his direction)
Reporter 1: Who are you wearing?
Reporter 2: Why are you so fabulous?
Ahren Fournier: Ah well—
(The reporters rush directly past Ahren who removes his sunglasses and looks annoyed as the camera pans back to see the Jaded Hearts standing there soaking in the adoration of the photographers and reporters. Kassidy Heart wears a gold halter dress with a sweetheart neckline designed specifically for the queen of hearts by Massimiliano Fuksas. Sienna Jade wears a jade green single shoulder dress with an ivy pattern stitched into it, custom made for her by Renato Benedetti. They each have their Unified Tag Team Championships as well as Sienna having her Unified Women’s World Championship and Kassidy has her Vixens World Championship. They wear their respective championships around the backs of their necks almost like fashionable boas)
Reporter 3: It must be wonderful to be celebrating your anniversary week together!
Reporter 4: You both look so stunning!
(Camera pans back to Ahren who is just glaring a hole through the two. He immediately storms off to the entrance of the arena)
(“DNA” by Kendrick Lamar plays as the Showdown intro plays for the broadcast. The camera cuts to a panning shot of the sold out crowd inside the arena with the fans going wild and holding up signs such as “We Are OK”, “Kiss Me, Kassi”, and “Got Milk?”. Camera then turns to the commentary desk with Eve and Deadprez.)
Eve: HELLO EVERYONE!! ITS SATURDAY NIGHT AND THAT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING! TIME FOR EAW’S FLAGSHIP SHOW, SATURDAY NIGHT SHOWDOWN! WE ARE AT OUR FINAL STOP BEFORE UNDER SIEGE AND WE ARE COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM THE JEUNESSE ARENA IN RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL! RIO IS A HOTBED FOR GRAPPLING AND TONIGHT THEY’VE SOLD OUT THE ENTIRE ARENA TO SEE THE VERY BEST AT IT COMPETE INSIDE AN EAW RING!
Deadprez: Not just the best, Eve! The GOAT because tonight Showdowns one GOAT, the EAW Champion, Ahren Fournier, will be in action as he teams with Interwire Champion, Malcolm Jones to take on the team of Jack Haze and Drake King, their respective opponents for Under Siege!
Eve: Also tonight we are expecting some words from the Openweight Champion, TLA regarding his Opponent for Ides of March, Erebus Jennings! And Sienna Jade will be joining Showdown regular Kassidy Heart as they take the chance to scout their opponents for Under Siege, The Revolution!
Deadprez: But first we are ready to open things up with the Big Bhris Bivision tonight? Let’s throw to Gina Romano inside the ring!
(The camera cuts to Gina Romano standing in the ring.)
Gina Romano: The following contest is a tag team match and is scheduled for ONE FALL!!!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
(“Here Comes The Boom” plays as a bright spotlight shines down in the ring as a massive figure begins to descend down into the ring from the rafters wearing a harness.)
Gina Romano: Introducing first, weighing in at… a lot… the team of, CHUDD AND EL LANDERSON!!!
(Chudd lands down in the ring as the harness snaps causing him to fall from the last few feet. El Landerson who was strapped to the harness as well lands comfortably down on Chudd’s rolls, sleeping soundly.)
Eve: Awww he’s tired
Deadprez: Being a luchador is hard work. What a truly respectable representative of this ancient and honored artform.
(Chudd unstraps the harness and wakes El Landerson up before placing him on his feet)
Crowd: CHUDD! CHUDD! CHUDD!
Deadprez: Damn listen to how over Chudd is with this crowd! He could easily be the most popular wrestler on the roster!
Eve: This crowd would love to see Chudd become the new Big Bhris Bhampion. However you have to wonder if that strains his relationship with his partner here tonight!
(Chudd looks at the Big Bhris Bhampionship hungrily. No wait he is just looking past it to the Quadruple Whopper ad on the arena wall.)
(“If Ya Smell” hits as Woogieman and Provencal appear at the top of the ramp. Woogie is fired up, and Provencal looks scared of Woogie. They begin making their way down to the ring)
Gina Romano: And their opponents, weighing in at… let’s just ignore weight in this match. WOOGIEMAN AND PROVENÇAL!!!!
Eve: Provencal is obviously timid in the presence of true greatness.
Deadprez: Its a force no one can truly handle.
(DING! DING! DING!)
Eve: Looks like we are underway.
Deadprez: Wait Chudd fell over! Holy shit he tripped I’m done.
Eve: Wait Chudd is clenching his chest in pain! I think he is having a heart attack!
Referee: Would you like to continue the match?
Deadprez: Fuck this ref.
Eve: WAIT OFF THE TOP ROPE WOOGIEMAN WITH A FLYING ELBOW DROP TO THE CHEST OF CHUDD WHILE HE IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK! WOOGIE IS ICE COLD! THE COVER!!!
Referee: ONEEE!!!! TWOOOO!!!! THRRRREEEEE!!!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Gina Romano: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS… PRRRRRRRROVENCAL AND THHHHE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOGIEMAN!!!!!
(Provencal and Woogieman are shown celebrating as Woogieman holds the Big Bhris Bhampionship in his hands signaling his intentions to Landerson. Chudd is shown getting up seemingly fine now as he shakes hands respectfully with his opponents and invites them to hit up Popeyes after the show.)
Deadprez: Damn I thought he was dying. Glad he is alright. Looks like Woogieman’s elbow drop restarted his heart.
Eve: That makes sense biologically. Woogie is such an electric competitor it must have acted as a defibrillator.
(The camera cuts to a commercial for Wiki Wars: Edit or be edited out of history!)
(Camera opens to a backstage shot of SOSA Henderson standing outside of Hurricane Hawk’s office. He knocks on the door)
SOSA Henderson: Yo, Hawk! You in there?
(No one answers and SOSA grins. He pulls a flathead screwdriver from his pocket and looks around him to make sure no one sees. He jams the screwdriver into the side of the door near the latch before taking one more glance around. He punches the screwdriver with the palm of his hand and the door pops open)
SOSA Henderson: We gon’ see who’s going number one in the gauntlet… tryna fuck with SOSA Henderson.
(Camera fades back to the arena as he begins to search the office)
(Lights dim out as “Remember Tomorrow” by Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats (Iron Maiden Cover) hits and One makes his way to the ring)
Gina Romano: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A FATAL FOUR WAY MATCH SET FOR ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST…FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA…WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN POUNDS…”THE EVIL GENIUS” …..OOOONNEEE!!!!
(One steps in the ring and his theme dies down and “Planet Hell” by Nightwish blares the speakers and Jonathan Drake emerges from behind the curtain and walks to the ring)
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING NEXT…ACCOMPANIED BY JOEY MAYHEM…. FROM NEWTON, MASSACHUSETTS…WEIGHING IN AT THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY EIGHT POUNDS….JJJOONNAAATTHHHAANNN DDRRAKKEE!!!
(Jonathan rolls in the ring and waits in a corner talking to Joey on the outside as “Planet Hell dies down and ‘Alive in Valencia’ hits as El Darkstar comes out trying to pump up the crowd as he makes his way to the ring)
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING NEXT..FROM GUADELAJARA, MEXICO….WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN POUNDS…..”El Corazón de la Lucha Libre”….EEELLLL DDAARRKKSSTTARRR!!!!
(El Darkster poses on the top rope as “Alive in Valencia” dies down and ‘All Fall Down’ plays and Justiciar Eric begins walking to the ring)
Gina Romano: AND LASTLY….MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RING,,,,FROM JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA…WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY POUNDS….”THE LORD OF ORDER”….JJUUSSTTICCIAARR ERRICCC!!!!
(Eric gets in the ring as his theme fades off and all four men are standing in their individual corner)
DING! DING! DING!
Eve: And this one is off! Looking forward to seeing who gets the huge momentum boost from the win here right now! And now all four men are looking at each other waiting for one of them to…WOAH ERIC CHARGES RIGHT AT EL DARKSTAR BUT EL DARKSTAR SAW IT COMING AND HITS THE HUURICANRANA AND ERIC IS OUTSIDE THE RING! Darkstar turns around and One clotheslines him right out of the ring! One now turns around and sees Jonathan waiting and One doesn’t seem to fear Jonathan as he steps to him and gets in his face. One now throwing rights at Jonathan but Jonathan just tosses him back and One now charges at One…but Jonathan catches him and has him up in the spinebuster position…..and he drives One into the corner…and now driving his shoulder into the gut of One repeatedly…and now tosses One across the ring like a fucking rag doll!
Joey Mayhem (Without a mic): THAT’S RIGHT!
Deadprez: El Darkstar is back up it seems as he is waiting on the apron waiting for Jonathan to turn around…..he leaps….and Jonathan catches him as well…..he has Darkstar high in the air…and throws him to the ground and Darkstar is halfway up the stage! MY GOD!! And Jonathan gives a tiny grin as he turns his focus back to One on the other side of the ring and WOAH OUT OF NOWHERE CLEANSING TRIGGER BY ERIC!!! THE BICYCLE KNEE STRIKE GOT JONATHAN WHEN HE WAS LEAST EXPECTING IT!!! ERIC IS TRYING TO GET TO JONATHAN…BUT JONATHAN ROLLS OUT OF THE RING IN A SMART MOVE!!
Eve: Eric seems irritated Jonathan got away and behind him One is back up and hits him in the back! One now grabs the back of Eric’s head and runs and drives his head into the turnbuckle with force! One now lifts Eric on the top turnbuckle….One is joining him up there….What’s going to happen?! One is going for a superplex here!! But Eric is blocking it…..Eric is throwing rights into the stomach of One and now headbutts him several times and one final time that sends One down to the mat….Eric is thinking about something…..HE LEAPS FROM THE TOP ROPE…..BUT OH MY GOD IN COMES DARKSTAR AND HITS THE SUPERKICK IN MID AIR ON ERIC!! GOOD GOD!!! AND HE COVERS!! WILL THIS BE IT?!
Ref: ONE… TWO… THR…
Deadprez: AND ERIC GETS THE SHOULDER UP!! Darkstar is up on his feet now waiting for either One or Eric to get to his feet but on the other side of the ring Jonathan is sliding back in the ring and Darkstar notices that as he charges and Jonathan goes for the clothesline but Darkstar ducks and bounces off the ropes charging at Jonathan and hits a dropkick to the right knee of Jonathan…and a kick to the back of the head of Jonathan!! Did you hear that?! Jonathan is still on his knees but likely has no clue where he is…..and Darkstar runs off the ropes and hits a running DDT to Jonathan!! IS THIS IT!?
Ref: ONE… TWO… TH…
Eve: NO JONATHAN POWERS OUT OF IT!! And Darkstar is back to his feet and woah right behind him One grabs him from behind and tosses him shoulder first into the ring post and he goes right up top immediately…HE’S SETTING UP!!! ELBOW DROP TO THE HEART OF JONATHAN DRAKE!! HE COVERS JONATHAN NOW!!!
Ref: ONE… TWO… THR….
Eve: JONATHAN POWERS OUT OF IT AGAIN!! One looks around his surrounding wondering what to do next and he slowly lifts up Jonathan as if it’s dead weight and places Jonathan between his legs looking for a powerbomb perhaps?! But Jonathan won’t let it happen as he back body drops One and now One holding his back in pain and Jonathan runs and clotheslines him out of the ring!! AND NOW RIGHT BEHIND JONATHAN IS ERIC LYING IN WAIT…ORDER IMPACT!! THE JUMPING CUTTER BUT JONATHAN CAUGHT ERIC AND IS HOLDING HIM UP IN MID AIR AS ERIC IS HOLDING ONTO JONATHAN’S HEAD AND JONATHAN CHANGES ERIC’S POSITION AND PLACES ERIC ON HIS SHOULDER…..HE’S GOING FOR DARK ETERNAL THE POWERSLAM!!! BUT ERIC SLIPS OUT FORM THE BACK AND PUSHES JONATHAN FROM THE MOMENTUM AND JONATHAN GOES CHEST FIRST INTO THE CORNER AND ERIC HIS THE JUMPING NECKBREAKER!!!
Deadprez: AND AS ERIC STANDS EL DARKSTAR HITS THE DROPKICK OFF THE TOP ROPE TO ERIC!!! EL DARKSTAR TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO JONATHAN DRAKE WHO IS ON ONE KNEE…SUPERKICK!!! BUT BEFORE DARKSTAR CAN MAKE THE COVER ONE GRABS DARKSTAR FROM BEHIND AND BASEBALL SLIDES HIM OUT OF THE RING LOOKING TO PICK UP THE SCRAPS!!! HE COVERS JONATHAN!!
Ref: ONE… TWO… THREE….
Eve: JONATHAN AGAIN POWERS OUT!! MAN THIS GUY WON’T STAY DOWN!! ONE LOOKS AROUND AND SEES ERIC VULNERABLE AND PICKS HIM UP OFF THE MAT AND HAS HIM IN A SUPLEX POSITION BUT DARKSTAR GRABS ERIC FROM THE OUTSIDE OF THE APRON AND BRINGS HIS DOENA ND HITS THE SUPERKICK TO ERIC ON THE APRON AND ERIC IS OUT LIKE A LIGHT ON THAT APRON JUST LAYING THERE!!! ONE UPSET DARKSTAR INTERRUPTED THAT SUPLEX ATTEMPTS TO GRAB DARKSTAR BUT DARKSTAR HITS THE FOREARM MAKING ONE BACK UP A FEW STEPS….DARKSTAR DIVES THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPE AND CONNECTS WITH A TORNADO DDT!!! DARKSTAR FEELS IT….ONE IS STIRRING TO HIS FEET…DARK BOMB!!! THE GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB CONNECTS!!! AND DARKSTAR IS GOING FOR THE COVER BUT WAIT JONATHAN GRABS HIM AND PUTS HIM ON HIS SHOULDER VERY QUICKLY AND RUNS AND…DARK ETERNAL CONNECTS!! THE DEVESTATING POWERSLAM!!! JONATHAN HOOKS THE LEG!!!
Ref: ONE… TWO… THREE….
DING! DING! DING!
(“Planet Hell” by Nightwish hits as Jonathan lets go of Darkstar’s leg and stands and gets his hand raised first by the referee and then by Joey Mayhem)
Gina Romero: HERE IS YOUR WINNER….JJOONNAATTHHAAANNN DDDRRAKKEE!!!!
Eve: Great fatal four way between these four competitors who will all be major players on Showdown if they keep putting up those performances. But Jonathan gets the win in a very decisive way as it was hard to put him down.
(Commercial for make up. Let’s be honest, it’s half of our sponsorships by now)
(Camera opens to see the inside of Hurricane Hawk’s office. Hawk stands behind his desk with a lottery roller filled with four plastic balls that appear to have paper slips inside on the desk as the camera pans to reveal Shane Gates, Jax Walker, Damon Diesel, and Justiciar Eric standing across from him. Eric has an ice pack held to his shoulder after his match. Suddenly a knock is heard at the door)
???: LEMME IN!
(Justiciar Eric opens the door as SOSA Henderson walks in. Damon Diesel immediately lunges for SOSA but Jax Walker grabs him by the back of his shirt)
Jax Walker: Time and place, my guy. Time and place.
(SOSA grins at Diesel)
SOSA Henderson: Don’t get too ahead of yourself. You gon’ get yours tonight. Don’t worry about that.
Damon Diesel: I cannot wait to snap you like it’s nothing.
SOSA Henderson: :usure:
Hurricane Hawk: ANYWAY! Guys. I asked you all here because we’re gonna do a random draw to determine the entry order for your gauntlet match. I appreciate you coming too, Eric. Considering that you just had your match. Remember. The winner gets a shot at the New Breed Championship and—
Justiciar Eric: Yeah. What’s exactly to stop me from having my disciple destroy each of these chaotic law breakers and just leaving myself to win? You said thanks but it’s really fucked up that I even have to be here after that match you put me in unnecessarily!
Hurricane Hawk: How about because I’ve had enough of backstage attacks already and if I catch you red handed I’ll have you fired so bad even an Strong Style reboot wouldn’t take your ass? So as I was saying. Random draw. Each of you will come up and select a ball from this roller, then at Under Siege you’ll turn it in and we’ll reveal the numbers there for the fans.
SOSA Henderson: *smugly* But I thought you said I was getting a set spot?
Hurricane Hawk: You will.
(Hawk opens a drawer and reveals a ball matching those inside the roller and tosses it at SOSA.)
Hurricane Hawk: *with an annoyed tone* You’re entering first. Enjoy.
SOSA Henderson: *with a grin* Well, Hawk. I look SOOOOOOO forward to the challenge!
(SOSA turns back to the others)
SOSA Henderson: You boys have fun playing with your balls.
(SOSA turns and leaves out the door)
Damon Diesel: …hate that guy…
Hurricane Hawk: Well then come draw your number and you can go get ready for your match with him.
(Diesel Steps up and pulls his number out of the roller before leaving. The remaining three follow suit and the camera fades)
(Camera reopens to the arena where a red carpet has been rolled out down the ramp as “True Love” by CFO$ hits. Gold sparklers begin to fall from the entryway as the words “HAPPY ANNIVERSA-WEEK!” read on the Titan Tron as Sienna Jade and Kassidy Heart walk out holding all of their respective gold and dressed for the red carpet as they walk down)
Gina Romano: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our guest commentators for the upcoming contest, they are the Vixens World Champion, Kassidy Heart, and The Unified Women’s World Champion, Sienna Jade. Collectively they are the Unified Tag Team Champions… THE JAAAAADED HEEEEAAARRRTTTSSSS!!!
Eve: Well this is… extravagant…
Deadprez: ITS DESERVED! DONT YOU DARE SPEAK ILL OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL TAG TEAM THIS WORLD HAS EVER BEEN BLESSED WITH! ESPECIALLY NOT ON THEIR ANNIVERSA-WEEK!
Eve: But they weren’t even in EAW when they—
Deadprez: SHUT UP!
(Sienna and Kassidy make their way down around the ring and over to the commentary desk where they are handed headsets and given their own luxurious heart shaped chairs)
Eve: Ladies, welcome to—
Deadprez: I SET ALL OF THIS UP FOR YOU! THE RED CARPET, THE ENTRANCE, EVERYTHING! IM HONORED TO GIVE UP MY POSITION FOR YOU IN THIS MATCH!
Eve: Give up your—?
Sienna Jade: Awwww… poor widdle eve-y. Did you think you were gonna be calling this match with the real stars of this company?
Eve: Well it’s my job so—
Deadprez: Eve. We’re not worthy.
Kassidy Heart: You’re really not. So move.
(Kassidy points and Deadprez pulls his and Eve’s chairs towards the Spanish commentary desk where Deadprez sits with a smile on his face. Even takes a seat and gives an expression to the camera that says “what is my life?” as the Jaded Hearts settle into the commentary desk)
Gina Romano: The following contest is a tag team match and it is scheduled for ONE FALL!!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!
(“Open Letter” by Amity Affliction plays as Shane Gates makes his entrance)
Gina Romano: Introducing first, making his way to the ring from Huntington Beach, California, weighing in at 210 pounds…. SHAAAAAANNNEEEE GGGAAATTTEEEESSSS!!!!
Sienna Jade: His name is Shame Gates?
Kassidy Heart: makes sense. Do you see the way he pops the collar on his jacket? Shameful.
(“Can’t be Touched” by Roy Jones jr. hits as Terry Chambers makes his way into the stage and down to the ring, shaking his head as he looks down at the red carpet)
Gina Romano: And his partner, making his way to the ring from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 287 pounds… TERRRRRRYYYYY CCCCHHHAAAAMMMMBBBEEERRRSSSS!!!
Kassidy Heart: I know he’s not shaking his head at OUR red carpet. He should be thankful he gets to walk on it!
Sienna Jade: If he can even see it over his own fat rolls. Gordo Chambers has no room to look down on anything.
(“Give ‘Em Hell Kid” by My Chemical Romance plays now as Jake Smith and Josh Nicholls make their way into the stage)
Gina Romano: And their opponents, making their way to the ring at a combined weight of 430 pounds… Jake Smith and Josh Nicholls… THE REVVOOOLLUUUUTTIIIONNNNN!!!
(Jake and Josh get to the ramp and look at the red carpet before grinning at each other and walking back behind the curtain)
Sienna Jade: OmG hIjInKs FwUm Da WeVoLuTiOn!!!
(They return with razor blade box cutters from the backstage area and begin to walk down the ramp, shredding the red carpet as they go)
Kassidy Heart: THAT IS FOR US! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! HANDS OFF!!!!
Sienna Jade: YOU ARE DEALING WITH THE 2018 FEMALE ELITIST OF THE YEAR, THE 2018 FEMALE PROMOER OF THE YEAR, THE WOMENS WORLD CHAMPION, THE VIXENS WORLD CHAMPION, THE UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, BASICALLY THE ENTIRE FUTURE OF THIS FUCKING COMPANY RIGHT NOW! DO NOT DISRESPECT US LIKE THIS!
(Jake and Josh get down to the ring and climb in with Jake giving the champions the middle finger and Josh shouting at them)
Joshua Nicholls (off-mic): MAKE ME A SANDWICH!
Kassidy Heart: IM GONNA—
Sienna Jade: Its Fine, my love. We’ll give them what they deserve next week after we deal with the Legion tomorrow.
Kassidy Heart: You’re right, Sien. I couldn’t do this with anyone but you.
(Ahren Fournier pops his head up from behind them and scowls before storming off to the back through the crowd. Neither of the Jaded Hearts see him)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Kassidy Heart: Well it looks like Gordo is gonna start the match against WOAT Smith. Both of them begin to move towards each other and and the go to lock up but Smith hits a lifting kick into Terry’s fat rolls. But Terry comes back with a punch that catches Jake across the jaw! Jake stumbles back and Terry follows to keep the pressure on by shoving Jake into a corner away from his partner and Terry begins to throw punches! He catches Jake in the jaw and the sternum and the stomach over and over again, trying to wear his opponent down but the referee breaks it up! Stupid ref, he’s supposed to have to five to punish that WOAT. Oh come on! The stupid referee separates them and then Jake comes out with a thumb to the eye! Gordo needs to get Shame in there to help him!
Sienna Jade: Well the WOAT now comes out the corner with kicks to Terry’s knees and he wants to slow Terry’s jiggly jello mass down. He steps up and connects with an enziguri. If my queen and I don’t sound excited it’s because of how unimpressed we are by the RevoWOATion.
Kassidy Heart: OMG. My queen reads minds. I was just thinking the same thing!
Sienna Jade: Its our bond, you perfect vision. But Terry is down after that kick now. And Smith is stomping into his ribs now! Smith moves to the corner and tags in his partner, Other. Other begins to climb to the top rope as Terry begins to get to his feet! And now Other leaps off the top rope and connects with a big crossbody— BUT TERRY ROLLS THROUGH INTO A SMALL PACKAGE!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE!!! TWO—
Sienna Jade: UGH. Other kicked out.
Kassidy Heart: Josh— I mean… Other rolls himself to the outside to try and collect himself as Terry walks over and tags in Shame. Shame now runs along the ring apron and leaps into a diving dropkick to take out Other! Other crashes into the barricade and his head bounces off the floor! Shame grabs Other by the head and pulls him up to his feet before rolling his useless body into the ring! Shame rolls in behind him and pops up to his feet before Other can climb to his feet and DOUBLE FOOT STOMP TO THE BACK OF OTHERS STUPID SKULL! He may have just lost both of his brain cells! Shane— yes he just earned his real name— goes for the pin!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE!!! TWOOOOOOOOO!! THR—
Sienna Jade: Ugh. Why won’t this waste of a roster spot just die? Just fucking die. Other tries to get to his feet but Shane now coming from behind with his rear chokehold and tries to seal it around Others neck! But Other is too strong and uses his body to hoist Shane up even with the choke on his neck and runs himself backwards into his corner! He drives Shane spine first into the turnbuckles right in front of Fake, yes that is the only name we’ve used for him this whole match, shut up, you misheard us. Fake slaps Other on the chest because they’re probably sleeping together and Fake loves those tig ol’ bitties, but Fake is tagged in all the same.
Kassidy Heart: Now Fake stomps Shane down into the corner before tagging Other back in who stomps into the corner and then tagging Fake back in! Each cycle breaks the five count making these stomps entirely legal. I suppose the most basic form of tag team work is supposed to impress us. Because we got these titles by being basic. As if. But Fake now officially in again as he goes to pull Shane up and connects with a Falcon Arrow. He calls it something special. But it’s just a Falcon Arrow you loser. He hooks a leg and tries to pin Shane.
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE!!! TWOOOOO!!!
Sienna Jade: and his Fakeness can’t get the job done. Of course it can’t. Just like when he tries to go up against the Queen of Hearts and the Unfuckwithable. Worthless. Shane is trying to crawl to his corner to tag in fat rolls, but Fake just drags him away again. Fake drops an elbow down onto Shane and grabs a side control headlock. Oh. And now he’s turning his head towards us and sticking his tongue and middle finger out. Someone close to me once said straight men shouldn’t open their mouths around phallic things like fingers.
Kassidy Heart: True story my queen. Now that WOAT tries to crank in the headlock a little more but Shane spins his way out of it and shoves Fake away! Shane runs a dives for fat rolls to make the tag— Oh but Other runs in and knees him out of the air. Other pulls Shane up— BUT SHANE WITH A SIT OUT JAWBREAKER THAT SENDS OTHER TO THE MAT! AND A SUPERKICK TO FAKE! Shane now goes for the tag!!
Sienna Jade: OH WOW! BUT SOME GIANT FAN WITH A THUMB FOR A HEAD HUST YANKED TERRY OFF THE APRON!
Kassidy Heart: That’s Cody Marshall, my love. He’s pretty much the local rage monster here. Though he’s been more mellow lately.
Sienna Jade: Oh. That makes more sense. Well the ref is yelling at Forgetting Sarah Marshall to go away but now Other comes from behind and knocks the referee out of the ring! And now Cody takes Little Debbie Chambers and runs him through the barricade!
Kassidy Heart: Just like last week!
Sienna Jade: This Show happens every week? How do you bear it?
Kassidy Heart: It takes work…
Sienna Jade: OH! But now Fake just came from behind and hit Shane in the cock and dick and penis but also his balls! Fake grabs Shane from behind and connects with a swinging neckbreaker! There’s something about Broken Wings on a paper that I’m being told in my headset to talk about but who the fuck cares? Now Fake covers Shane as Other rolls the referee back into the ring!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE! …….. TWOOOOOOOOOO! ………. THREEEEEEEEEE!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Gina Romano: Here are your winners… THE RREEEVVOLLLLUUTTTIOOONNN!!!!
(“Give Em Hell Kid” blasts as Jake and Josh celebrate in the ring while glaring directly at the Jaded Hearts. Cody can be seen walking up the ramp towards the back as Terry Chambers lays in the busted barricade corner.)
Kassidy Heart: Well that was lame.
Sienna Jade: These two expect to beat our chemistry? Our bond? This is what Showdown has for us?
(Jake rolls out of the ring and grabs a microphone)
Jake Smith: What’s up, ladies?
Kassidy Hearts: Oh gawd… it talks…
Jake Smith: I hope you both were watching very closely. Say what you want, we proved one thing. We will go to any length to get those tag team titles. Trust me. We’ll be cheering for you tomorrow night. Because we want to be the ones to take those titles from you. You will both… kneel to the Revolution.
(Jake drops the microphone and he and Josh make their exit.)
Sienna Jade: That’s the worst catchphrase ever.
(Commercial for EAWShop.Com. 95% off all ‘Mistress of Death’ merchandise)
(Camera opens to see Cori Simmons running through the backstage area, turning a corner to see Cody Marshall)
Cori Simmons: Cody! You just decimated Terry Chambers our if nowhere! Why would you do that?
Cody Marshall: Why? Because I had my hands on that little reefer rat, Jack Haze last week, and Terry’s fat ass got in my way. And now because of him, the little runt that cost me a shot at the Tag Team Championships has a world title shot, while I have nothing.
Cori Simmons: Well, Cody… some would argue that you’re the reason Jack—
Cody Marshall: Well SOME are wrong! And they’ll see that next week. I spoke to Hurricane Hawk earlier today. I’m not gonna be left out of Under Siege. I’m gonna take Terry right back to Texas even in Oakland, California.
Cori Simmons: I don’t think I understand…
Cody Marshall: At Under Siege, I’m facing Terry Chambers in a four corners Texas bullrope match! I’m gonna beat his ass so bad that I carry him across the ring like a little bitch while I tag the turnbuckles and show everyone why I’m the one who deserved the title shot at Under Siege.
(Cody walks off with steam coming out of his nostrils as the camera fades)
(Camera reopens on Ahren Fournier walking through the production area where he finds Hurricane Hawk talking to a young producer.)
Hurricane Hawk: Ok James so I know this is your first night tonight but I want you to call security. I need you to have the Revolution removed from the building. Their match is done tonight, I don’t need to risk anymore incidents tonight.
James: Yes sir.
(James pulls out a cell phone and walks away as Ahren steps up)
Ahren Fournier: Hawk.
Hurricane Hawk: Yeah, Ahren. What do you need? Wrong kind of but milk in your dressing room again?
Ahren Fournier: Well you know I prefer cashew milk over Almond but that’s not what I want. Although actually, if there’s not cashew milk in my dressing room when I get back, you will be hearing about it.
Hurricane Hawk: Uh huh. Noted. So what is it that you actually want? You know I’ve gotta deal with all the logistical bullshit if your friend bringing Sienna Ja—
Ahren Fournier: DON’T— don’t say that name to me right now.
Hurricane Hawk: You seem bent up. Feeling a little upstaged with Kassidy’s attention elsewhere?
Ahren Fournier: I AM NOT! Look! I just wanted to talk to you about my match at Under Siege. Can it be anyone other than that freak, Haze? I mean the guy is barely up from Battleground. Aren’t you worried about ratings?
Hurricane Hawk: I don’t know what you want me to say. Jack was given a shot, he made the most of it, odd situations or not, and he earned this title shot.
Ahren Fournier: But this isn’t some bullshit New Breed match! It’s the EAW Championship! Don’t you want a match with… I don’t know… a little more spice? Something that’s gonna guarantee the but rates? I’m already gonna bring in my fans but when it’s a lock for me to squash this guy, who’s really gonna pay to see that?
Hurricane Hawk: So you’re looking out for the show’s buy rates?
Ahren Fournier: They reflect on my reign.
Hurricane Hawk: And this has nothing to do with you wanting to bring some more spotlight in for yourself?
Ahren Fournier: *aghast* Me? Would I ever do such a thing?
Hurricane Hawk: *deadpan* Yes.
Ahren Fournier: I’m offended. Hawk, you should know by now that I only have Showdowns best interests in mind. This is the brand I lead as champions after all!
Hurricane Hawk: Uh huh. I’m certain. Well if you’re so concerned about buy rates, then here’s a little spice to add to your match. You want to make it a match with more of an even playing field? Fine. Your match will still be against Jack Haze, but it will be No Holds Barred.
Ahren Fournier: But—but—but that’s not what I’m talking about!
Hurricane Hawk: Well it’s what I’m talking about. Complain all you want. Jack earned his title shot and he’s getting it at Under Siege.
(Suddenly, James returns)
James: Yes, Mr. Hawk. I just received word, security has already found Jake and Josh, removes them from the premises, and watched to make sure they left in their rental cars.
Hurricane Hawk: perfect. Thank you, James. And you can just call me Hawk.
James: Yes sir.
Ahren Fournier: Hawk! I am not done with this conversation! Send your little man servant away! I am the EAW Champion! You can’t treat me like this!
Hurricane Hawk: I can. And I will. You wanted your match spiced up. Your own words. And I made it so. Now I’m done with this conversation.
(Hawk walks away which leaves Ahren and James in an awkward stare)
Ahren Fournier: I know you’re not looking at me new guy.
James: Uh— I— Uh— no. No sir. I’m sorry—
Ahren Fournier: Because if you’re looking at me funny right now I will make you regret ever taking this job!
(James is frozen for a moment before running off in fear)
Ahren Fournier: Pussy.
(Commercial recapping Friday Night Dynasty)
(Broadcast returns to see Gina Romano in the ring)
Gina Romano: The following contest is a No Disqualification match…and it’s scheduled for ONE FALL!!!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
(“You Only Live Once (Instrumental)” by Suicide Silence starts playing as the stage gets filled with smoke and the lights play around in synchron with the music. Slowly, Damon Diesel comes out making his way to the ring, as he climbs the steel stairs and rising his hands up causing the pyro to blast. )
Gina Romano: And introducing his opponent….He hails from Orlando, Florida….He weighs in at TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN POUNDS….He’s known as THE UNCHAINED BEAST…..DAAAAAAMMMMOOONNNN DIEEEEESSSSSEEEELLLL!!
Deadprez: Eve and Deadprez back to what we do now! And this man has sure lost some steam in recent weeks as he’s first tried to climb the ladder here in Elite Answers Wrestling, but as they will say. This is the land of opportunity, and while this isn’t a title match, it’s sure right up his alley. Damon Diesel has a lot to prove to start moving back in the right direction, but this just might be the perfect match for him to do so!
Eve: You said it, DP! This is Damon’s type of match, so really it’s his to lose at this point! He’s got all the potential in the world and he’s shown it plenty, even in defeat. But sooner or later he’s going to have to try and get it figured out to get out of this rut he’s been in lately. He’s better than what he’s advertised as, and like you said this is the perfect environment for him to do so! I personally can’t wait to see this!
(“Love SOSA” by Chief Keef interrupts “You Live Only Once” as Sosa Henderson walks out slow and methodically in his usual black open vest and matching tights with dark sunglasses on. The mixed reaction gets a chuckle out of him as he continues to methodically make his way to the ring.)
Gina Romano: And introducing their opponent….He hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…..He weighs in at ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY ONE POUNDS……HE’S BULLETPROOF…….SOOOOSSSSSSAAAAAA HEEENNNNNNNDDDDDDDEEEEEERRRRRSSSSSOOOONNNNNNN!!!
Deadprez: And here’s the man that attacked him last week to prove a point, and now on the heels of Under Seige he just might be the man to beat out of the pack that’s been selected to compete for the right to face the New Breed Champion!
Eve: He’s the people’s choice too, lets not forget, because Sosa himself will not fail to remind us all! He’s been stewing a bit over Drake King stealing the victory over him and Damon Diesel a couple weeks ago, and now he’s got another opportunity, and I’ve no doubts he’s going to make the most of this one! But first, he’s going to have to get through a desperate but determined Damon Diesel first!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: For both of these men, there’s a lot at stake come Under Seige where both men will be a part of the New Breed Gauntlet Match! Sosa Henderson! The Unchained Beast, Damon Diesel! NO DISQUALIFICATION! What a match this is fixing to be, Eve! Both of these men have grown an animosity toward the other. After the attack last week by Sosa Henderson, this match was made by GM Hurricane Hawk. Imagine it, Eve! You get awarded a New Breed Title match at Under Seige, but you get to beat the unholy living snot out of each other with anything you want! Two for the price of one! Sosa just had the advantage! But Damon Diesel sends Sosa Henderson to the ropes! Sosa Henderson with a shoulder block of Damon Diesel which knocks Diesel to the canvas!
Eve: Sosa looking to keep the pace up as he rebounds off the ropes! Damon Diesel drops down on Sosa Henderson coming back! Damon Diesel back up and a hip toss by Diesel taking Sosa Henderson down and immediately applies an arm lock to the sitting Sosa Henderson! It’s started out as a traditional wrestling affair so far, DP! It’s surprising, yet exciting to see! Damon Diesel transitions into a sleeper hold! The referee checking with Sosa Henderson as he just continues to regulate his breathing while in this hold! Damon Diesel is determined tonight! He really wants the victory, and is looking to wear Sosa down applying more pressure now! Now Sosa Henderson trying to bring himself to a knee! Diesel still has the sleeper hold on! But Sosa Henderson finding the strength! Sosa Henderson with an elbow to the midsection of Damon Diesel! And another! Another! Now Sosa Henderson is free! Sosa takes to the ropes! Sosa rebounds off! Damon Diesel drops down and Sosa Henderson goes over and off the ropes again! Sosa rebounds off but Diesel meets him! Diesel looks for the hip toss! No! It’s being blocked by Sosa! Sosa looking for a hip toss but Diesel blocks it! Sosa Henderson looking for a side back slam but Damon Diesel releases Sosa Henderson in mid-air and lands on his feet! Diesel with a clothesline! Ducked by Sosa! Bicycle kick by Sosa is sidestepped by Damon Diesel Arm drag by Damon Diesel that sends Sosa Henderson to the canvas! Sosa quickly back up! Damon Diesel whips Sosa to the corner! Diesel looks to follow up but Sosa gets an elbow that staggers Damon Diesel back a few paces! Damon Diesel tries his hand again and again is met with a high elbow to the chin that sends him staggering back again! Step up enizigir by Sosa but Damon anticipated it and blocks the attempt by Sosa! Superkick by Damon Diesel but Sosa sidesteps now as Damon Diesel regathers himself back to his feet! Diesel runs for another attack runs right into a hip block and a toss of Sosa that takes Diesel down! Damon Diesel back up and an arm drag by Sosa! Diesel tries to rise even quicker this time but Sosa Henderson was ready for it and another hip toss of Damon Diesel right into the arm bar but Diesel quick to get to his feet to reverse the maneuver as he pushes Sosa Henderson into the corner! What a back and forth so far, DP!
Deadprez: Both men obviously have become very familiar with each other’s styles having had a couple of previous battles against one another, but more than that, Eve, this is what it’s about when you are battling for the upper hand. Neither willing to give an inch! I love it! And the referee has reached the count of four as Damon Diesel backs away slightly holding his arms up while Sosa Henderson stands straight again! And slap! Damon Diesel just slapped Sosa Henderson across the face! And another slap! This time by Sosa Henderson! And another! This time by Damon Diesel! Sosa right back! And that last one hard enough by Sosa Henderson to send Damon Diesel tumbling backwards on his butt! Diesel inching away holding his chin in sudden surprise as the referee tries to restrain Sosa who slightly shoves the referee away! But the intensity on his face says it all as he lunges at Damon Diesel! Sosa tackles Damon Diesel and assaults him on the canvas with repeated closed fists just clubbing Diesel into submission now! Sosa finally hurries and steps through the ropes and hops to the outside where he pulls up the apron and looks underneath for a moment! Diesel recovering slowly in the ring, but finally looks over to his right to notice that Sosa is now on the outside fishing for toys! Diesel realizing this begins rolling over to the outside himself where he decides to leave the ring on the side to the far left and do the same thing! What could they both have in store for the other!!??
Eve: You’re absolutely right, DP! Anything goes, and I’m surprised it took this long for both men to decide to bring about this kind of assault on each other! Both started out just…well….what they’re paid to do, and that’s wrestle! But now both have decided to take things to the next level! Sosa rises up first! Sosa! Look at this! Sosa has a 2×4, DP! And he’s now got his sights set on Damon Diesel! Damon Diesel appears to be struggling to pull out his weapon as Sosa Henderson begins closing in on Damon Diesel wielding that 2×4! SOSA HENDERSON LUNGES AT DAMON DIESEL NOW! BUT WAIT! DIESEL WAS JUST BAITING HIS OPPOSITION! DAMON HAS FIRE EXTINGUISHER! HE JUST SHOT PLENTY OF CONTENTS OF THAT CARBON DIOXIDE RIGHT INTO THE FACE OF SOSA HENDERSON! SOSA HENDERSON DROPS THE 2×4 AND NOW GETS KNOCKED DOWN HARD FROM THAT FIRE EXTINGUISHER SHOT TO THE HEAD FROM DAMON DIESEL! DIESEL NOW BRINGING DOWN THAT FIRE EXTINGUISHER ON TOP OF THE DEFENSELESS SOSA HENDERSON! THIS HAS NOW BROKEN DOWN AND DEGENERATED INTO WHAT WE THOUGHT IT WOULD! NOW DAMON DIESEL IS STOMPING AWAY AT SOSA HENDERSON! WOW!! THINGS HAVE SURE PICKED UP! SOSA ROLLED INTO THE RING AND NOW DIESEL WITH THE COVER!
Deadprez: AND SOSA HENDERSON KICKS OUT! He calls himself Bulletproof but he’s surely hurting right now! Damon Diesel back on his feet already thinking of something else! Not even surprised in the least that Sosa kicked out! Damon Diesel the Unchained Beast grabs Sosa Henderson up to his feet! Damon Diesel has him hooked! He’s looking for a suplex it appears! No! Sosa blocking the attempt! Damon looking for reverse neckbreaker but Sosa spins away and breaks free! SUPERKICK BY SOSA THAT SENDS DAMON DIESEL STAGGERING IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! BUT SOSA NOT DONE!!! HE HAS DIESEL!!! SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX TO DAMON DIESEL! DIESEL IS DAZED!!! SOSA HENDERSON REBOUNDS OFF THE ROPES AND HERE HE COMES!!! !! SPEAR!! NO!!! DAMON DIESEL DODGES THE ATTACK BY SOSA!! DAMON STILL ON HIS FEET SOSA TURNS AROUND!! SHOOT KICK TO THE LEG OF SOSA BY DAMON DIESEL! AND A RUNNING KNEE LIFT TO THE MIDSECTION!! HE HAS SOSA AGAINST THE ROPES!! DAMON DIESEL GOES TO WHIP SOSA HENDERSON BUT SOSA REVERSES TWISTING THE ARM OF DAMON! BUT DAMON DIESEL WITH A CLOTHESLINE TO SOSA SENDING HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!! BUT SOSA HENDERSON LANDS ON THE APRON!! DAMON DIESEL SWINGS AT SOSA HENDERSON AND SOSA DUCKS!! SOSA HAS DIESEL! NO WAY! HE’S LOOKING FOR A SUPERPLEX TO THE FLOOR! HE’S CLUBBING AWAY AT THE BODY OF DIESEL TRYING TO WEAKEN HIM! OH NO! HERE THEY GO! SOSA TAKING DIESEL FOR THE RIDE TO NOTHING BUT HARD PADDING DOWN LOW!
Eve: OH MY GOSH! DIESEL HIT THAT GROUND SO HARD! LOOK AT HIM CONTORTING HIS BODY ALL OVER THE PLACE! AMAZING THOUGH DAMON DIESEL IS STARTING TO RECOVER SLOWLY BUT SURELY! HE’S TOUGHING THROUGH THIS PAIN! SOSA HENDERSON ALREADY WITH HIS NEXT MOVE IN MIND THOUGH AND THERE HE GOES! SOSA REBOUNDS OFF THE ROPES THE SIDE OPPOSITE AND HERE HE COMES AGAIN! OVER THE TOP ROPE MOONSAULT PLANCHA! THE CROWD GOT UP FOR THAT ONE AND SOSA DIDN’T DISAPPOINT! BOTH MEN LAY ON THE FLOOR TRYING TO RECOVER! Sosa begins crawling toward the ring while Damon Diesel remains down and out! Sosa has reached the ring apron now and is now pulling out something from beyond the apron curtain! But what??? He’s pulled out….IT’S A LEAD PIPE!!! AND THE ABSOLUTE RAGE IN THE FACE OF SOSA HENDERSON RIGHT NOW! DAMON DIESEL IS UP! SHOTGUN DROPKICK BY DAMON DIESEL! NECKBREA-OH MY! DIESEL JUST GOT STRUCK BY THAT LEAD PIPE! THE DROPKICK DIDN’T TAKE SOSA HENDERSON OFF HIS FEET AND HE HAD ENOUGH TIME TO RECOVER BEFORE DAMON DIESEL COULD EXECUTE THAT NECKBREAKER! SOSA HENDERSON AGAIN ACROSS THE RIBS OF DAMON DIESEL WITH THAT LEAD PIPE! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN!
Deadprez: Sosa Henderson has snapped! I think he’s coming over here and he has a now bloody Damon Diesel in tow! Damon Diesel has been busted open on the top of his head! Sosa hoists the weakened Damon Diesel over his shoulder and then runs Diesel head first into the ringpost! My God! Diesel now getting manhandled here! Sosa Henderson grabs up Diesel and then slams his head into the ringsteps not once! Not twice! Not three times! He keeps going! Sosa rolls Damon Diesel into the ring! Sosa Henderson grabs up a chair from next to our timekeeper and slams it at ringside on the steel steps as Damon Diesel is in the ring on all fours. He’s lost a lot of momentum in the last several minutes, this could be the end here real soon! Diesel using the ropes to pull himself up as Sosa Henderson slides under the bottom rope to enter the ring! ***WHACK*** SOSA HENDERSON JUST NAILED DAMON DIESEL IN THE BACK WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR! DAMON DIESEL TURNS AROUND RIGHT INTO A SHOT TO THE SKULL THAT SENDS DAMON DIESEL SMACK DOWN ON THE CANVAS! SOSA HENDERSON GOES FOR THE COVER!
Eve: WHAT!!??? Sosa Henderson just grabbed a head full of hair of Damon Diesel and yanked him off the canvas before the referee could slap his hand to the canvas for the three! Sosa Henderson simply smirks and shakes his head as he rises back to his feet bringing Damon Diesel right along with him! Diesel out on his knees and drags him to the ropes and drapes him over the second rope! Sosa Henderson now rebounds off the ropes and comes back with a tiger feint kick that sends Diesel back to the canvas! Sosa just adding extra insult to injury it seems just looking to humiliate Damon Diesel at this point! Sosa sets up the chair in the center of the ring then drags Diesel over with him to the center of the ring! BUT DIESEL WITH A LOW BLOW! SOSA HENDERSON KEELS DOWN TO HIS KNEES HOLDING HIS…UH…TESTICULAR FORTITUDE ONE WOULD ASSUME! THAT HAD TO HURT! DAMON DIESEL! WHERE’S HE GETTING THIS SECOND WIND AS HE SENDS REPEATED RIGHTS TO THE DOWNED SOSA HENDERSON! DAMON DIESEL GRABS UP SOSA HENDERSON! AND DOWN HE GOES ON THE CHAIR!! FALCON ARROW ON THAT STEEL CHAIR! DAMON DIESEL BARELY THROWS AN ARM OVER THE CHEST OF SOSA HENDERSON!!
Deadprez: SOSA HENDERSON STILL ALIVE! That might have been the last gasp from Damon Diesel! The last opportunity of any kind he had of putting Sosa Henderson away! Damon Diesel grabs for the steel chair but he’s pretty weakened at this point it’s hard to tell if adrenaline is carrying him right now or if he’s bought himself enough time to have recovered! Sosa Henderson is now on all fours trying to rise back to his feet! Damon Diesel slow slides out of the ring and pulls the apron curtain up again. This time he appears to be searching for something different as he just passed on a steel chair and a 2×4, weapons that were used earlier in the match! Damon Diesel just pulled out a string of barbed wire but he tosses that to the side as well! What’s he looking for though!??
Eve: Welp! That answers your question right there, DP! Damon Diesel is pulling out a long brown stretch table! Damon Diesel slides the table into the ring as Sosa begins to rise to his feet! The table is being set up in the corner by Damon Diesel! Sosa Henderson from behind! No! Diesel anticipated it and now fights back! Now both men slugging it out back and forth in the center of the ring! Just straight rights back and forth non stop! Now a kick to the gut by Damon Diesel! Damon Diesel goes to whip Sosa Henderson! But Sosa catches him and now a jumping DDT from Sosa Henderson! Sosa Henderson with the cover!
Deadprez: Damon Diesel kicksout! Sosa Henderson not wasting any time though as he gets back to his feet and starts to grab Damon Diesel by his hair to bring him back to a standing vertical base! BUT DAMON DIESEL FIGHTS OUT OF THE GRASP OF SOSA HENDERSON! HIGH KNEE TO SOSA THAT TAKES THE WIND OUT OF HIS SAILS TEMPORARILY! GAME OVER! PILEDRIVER TO SOSA HENDERSON! DAMON DIESEL WITH THE COVER!
Eve: So close by Damon Diesel! Damon Diesel has made a nice comeback in this match and has taken it right to Sosa Henderson but it’s not been enough to put the man that refers to himself as Bulletproof down for good! Damon Diesel bringing Sosa Henderson back to his feet still a bit frustrated as he glares at the referee through the crimson mask from all the blood of that earlier shot taken by that lead pipe shot from Sosa! Sosa being placed into the corner but Sosa in a weakened state and all falls to his knees! Damon Diesel seems to have another idea in mind though as he backpedals a few paces! Damon Diesel then rebounds off the ropes and now here comes Diesel! BANG BANG! RUNNING KNEE SHOT TO THE HEAD! NO!! SOSA HENDERSON BARELY DODGES THE MANEUVER! SOSA GRABS DAMON DIESEL AND WHIPS HIM TOWARD THAT TABLE! BUT DAMON DIESEL REVERSES IT! NO! RE-REVERSED BY SOSA HENDERSON!! AND DAMON DIESEL GOES FLYING RIGHT INTO THE HEART OF THAT TABLE AND DAMON DIESEL IS AMONGST A MESS OF STICKERS NOW! DAMON SITS UP!! RUNNING METEORA BY SOSA HENDERSON!! SOSA HENDERSON TOSSES DAMON DIESEL OUT FROM THAT CORNER AND NOW MEASURES HIM! DAMON ON ALL FOURS!! AND….PAID.IN.FULL!!!! THE COVER BY SOSA HENDERSON!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Love SOSA” by Chief Keef picks back up as Sosa Henderson raises his arms outstretched in a pose before staring down at the bloodied and battered Damon Diesel with smirk on his face. Sosa ducks through the ropes and makes his way to floor shaking his head in with satisfied expression on his face as he utters words inaudibly as the crowd gives Sosa a mixed reaction.)
Deadprez: Well, it turned into an interesting affair as expected, Eve. But would you say you were surprised by the result? Sosa did exactly what he said he would do in this one! Just imagine how things will go at Underseige!
Eve: Sosa Henderson looked impressive to say the least, but you still have to give it up to Damon Diesel, who brought the fight to Sosa, but it was still not enough to overcome the fiery newcomer from Philly! If this match was a testament to anything, it’s that Sosa Henderson knows what to do when he gets his hands on a weapon, and that just may end up being his biggest advantage going into the New Breed Gauntlet match at Underseige! Congrats on the win Sosa Henderson!
(The shot shows Sosa posing once again midway up the ramp as the crowd once again showers him with a mixed reaction before the shot goes black.)
(Shot transitions to find Cori Simmons backstage with a microphone)
Cori Simmons: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, the Openweight Champion, TLA!
(TLA Steps into frame with the Openweight Championship over his shoulder.)
TLA: Hola, mami. Girl you lookin fine tonight. You sure you don’t wanna come work at the Poon Palace? I’ll set you up a private room and allat nice shit.
Cori Simmons: Ummm. I’m quite certain.
TLA: All good. I respect it. Dedication to the path and shit.
Cori Simmons: Right. Well. TLA, most people around here are gearing up for Under Siege but you’re obviously a bit more focused on one week later, Dynasty’s Ides of March.
TLA: Yeah. Well TLA gotta get through the man of darkness to find his own light. Ides of March gonna be my last title defense before I get this shot at the EAW Championship. So I be staying centrado. Ya feel me?
Cori Simmons: Erebus Jennings is no weak opponent. He’s a veteran and isn’t someone who’s easily stopped. What are your thoughts on facing him?
TLA: I got respect for Erebus, dawg. He talk all weird but I know he get it done in the ring. Ya boy TLA recognizes. Te veo amigo. I see what he been doing against the 1% all season, fights that good fight. Won himself the PURE Championship and everything earlier in the season. So la pantera sexual gonna be focused like a laser at Ides of March. Erebus is a big man. But can he keep up with my Lucha pace? I don’t think so but we gonna find out.
???: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
(Camera pans to see Chris Elite walk up with Big Mike.)
Chris Elite: You wanna go on and on about these defenses. But you showed how you really are a couple weeks ago. You already looking down the road at Ahren. And I’m telling you, don’t make that dumbass mistake. You still gotta beat that drag queen from dynasty and if your heads anywhere else, you ain’t getting it done!
TLA: Ese you keep getting in my face with this bullshit. But the real reason you all mad is because I got a guaranteed shot once I get past Erebus while you used your Gawd Contract and still couldn’t get it done.
Chris Elite: Shut the fuck up, bitch. I’ll slap the shit outta you. You know damn well I can make myself another title match with a snap of my fingers. Call me Thanos in this bitch. What I got a issue with is your mindset that you somehow better than me despite having no resume to prove it while I got the Gawd Contract and was World Heavyweight Champion. You got that temporary belt on your shoulder and all of a sudden you hot shit? Wasn’t you supposed to be on this kind of run forever ago? The fuck took you so long?
TLA: When I win the EAW Championship, you already know my first phone call.
Chris Elite: What? Because you’re so sure you’ll win that you’ll rub it in my face?
TLA: Nah. Not your ugly ass. Yo girl to get her signing that Poon Contract.
(Chris swings at TLA who ducks and punches Chris in the gut. Chris drives his feet forward though and smashes TLA into a lighting rig, sending sparks everywhere. Both men brawl until Security comes to separate them)
Chris Elite: Fine! It’s gonna be this way? Then imma make it hell for you! You think you’re the better man?
TLA: I know it ese!
Chris Elite: Then I’ll see you at Under Siege. One hour iron man match! We gonna find out who the better man is! Gawd Contract!
(Chris snaps his fingers)
TLA: Imma best that culo up and down the bay bridge!
(Both men are dragged apart and the camera fades)
(Commercial for Big Tony’s Belgium inspired Chicken and Waffles! Five Stars guaranteed!)
(The camera cuts to Gina Romano in the middle of the ring)
Gina Romano: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Gina Romano: And is the main event of the EVENING!
(“Starboy” by The Weeknd plays as Ahren Fournier comes out with Kassidy Heart by his side)
Gina Romano: Making his way to the ring accompanied by KASSIDY HEART! From Pawtucket, Rhode Island, weighing in at 210 pounds…THE EAW CHAMPION, AHREN FOURNIER!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: Ahren Fournier is coming out here to team with Malcolm Jones against their opponents for Under Siege, Drake King and Jack Haze. If either one of them win this can certainly foreshadow the winner for each match at the FPV.
Eve: Don’t get your hopes up as anything could happen from now till then so who knows. Ahren still looks pretty annoyed at how things went with Hurricane Hawk earlier where we learned he and Jack Haze Will face off in a No Disqualification setting.
Deadprez: Yeah. But the GOAT will be ok. He thrives in hardcore environments.
(The Magnum Opus are walking up the steel steps as “Pray For Em’” by Meek Mill plays and Malcolm Jones comes out confronted by a disgusted face by Fournier)
Gina Romano: And his partner, from Harlem, New York, weighing in at 230 pounds..THE INTERWIRE CHAMPION, MALCOLM JONESSS!!!
Deadprez: Well Malcolm doesn’t have anyone here to back him up like Ahren does. The Interwire Champ has built himself from the ground up and I don’t think he wants to lose his title to the self proclaimed ‘King’ at Under Siege.
Eve: Well hey it’s not his choice is it? It all matters is ability and I think we’re going to have a preview of that tonight!
(“Pray For Em’” fades out as “Ready for War” by Adelitas Way hits and Drake King comes out to a wave of “OK” chants)
Gina Romano: And their opponents first, from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 220 pounds..DRAKE KINGGGG!
Deadprez: As mentioned before at Under Siege it’ll be Drake King versus Malcolm Jones for the Interwire Championship. A lot has to be going through Drake King’s head as he heads into this matchup; that he didn’t win this match by a fluke? Who knows.
Eve: Drake King is not a man to back down from a challenge and Malcolm Jones is certainly a big one, must they fight to the death sure, but I think Drake King is coming out on top.
Deadprez: You lie a lot.
Eve: That’s a lie.
(Drake King manages to get into the ring with both hands clasped around his ears as “Revolution” by The Beatles plays and Jack Haze makes his way down to the ring with a smile)
Gina Romano: Lastly, residing in Santa Monica, California, weighing in at 211 pounds…JACK HAZE!!!!!
Deadprez: I said this before and I’ll say this again, SO MUCH SMILING WILL GET YOU A DISEASE.
Eve: If you’re not going to talk I will. Drake’s partner tonight, Jack Haze, will now be going to Under Siege to face Ahren Fournier for the EAW Championship. He won the shot after botched interference from Cody Marshall.
Deadprez: Exactly. BOTCHED. Cody Marshall wasn’t trying to help Jack Haze at all.
Eve: Regardless, Jack’s in this match now.
(Jack Haze enters the ring and immediately starts talking to Drake King.)
(DING DING DING!)
Deadprez: The competitors in the Under Siege Interwire Championship match, Drake King and Malcolm Jones start the match. They lockup as Malcolm transitions down into a grounded headlock. Drake King rolls into his own grounded headlock as Malcolm pushes him away quickly. They lock eyes for a few seconds before going at one another again. OH! A kick to the gut of King from Malcolm Jones as Drake moves back and tags in Jack Haze. Haze with a confused look quickly circles Malcolm Jones, BUT AHREN PULLING JACK HAZE AND GRABBING HIM. Jones walks over and hits Haze with a jabs before Ahren lets Jack drop to the ground. Malcolm allows Haze to get back to his feet and he hits him a beautiful standing drop kick!! Haze stumbles into the ropes as Malcolm rushes towards him, but Haze is able to duck! The King of Elite flies over the top rope, BUT HE LANDS ON HIS FEET ON THE APRON!!!! DRAKE COMES RUNNING INTO THE PICTURE AND HE NAILS MALCOLM WITH A SUPERKICK TO THE MIDSECTION!!!!
Eve: Jones falls hard to the floor as Fournier argues with the ref. Haze makes his way out of the ring, BUT JONES HAS RECOVERED AND GRABS HIM, THROWING HIM INTO THE BARRICADE!!! MALCOLM YELLS AT HAZE…. BUT HANG ON! WHY IS DRAKE KING ON THE TOP ROPE?!
Deadprez: OHMYGOD! MOONSAULT!!! MOONSAULT!!!
Eve: Malcolm is taken out with the moonsault!!! Drake snatches Malcolm up, and throws him back in the ring! He grabs Haze! He throws Haze back into the ring!!! Haze crawls over to Malcolm and goes for the cover!!!!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TW-
Deadprez: Malcolm with the kick out and he reaches out for Ahren! Haze pulls him to his corner and tags in Drake! Drake rushes in and immediately begins stomping away on Malcolm’s leg! Drake follows it up by grabbing Malcolm into a facelock… BUT AHREN FOURNIER HAS HAD ENOUGH! THE EAW CHAMP SLAMS HIS FOOT INTO DRAKE’S FACE, THUS BREAKING THE HOLD! JACK ATTEMPTS TO GET IN ON THE ACTION BUT AHREN QUICKLY KNOCKS HIM OFF THE APRON! DRAKE SEES WHAT’S HAPPENING AND MAKES A BEELINE FOR AHREN… BUT HERE COMES MALCOLM! MALCOLM WITH THE ROLLUP!!!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-
Eve: JACK HAZE GETS IN FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RING!!! THE COUNT IS BROKEN!!!! The referee urging Ahren to go back to his corner and finally the champ obliges. Haze has kept Malcolm Jones down long enough as Drake takes advantage of it! Drake grabs Malcolm around the waist and deadlifts him up. Drake going for a German? Malcolm with a stiff elbow to the side of the head! Drake is forced to let go and Malcolm leaps towards his corner!!!! AHREN FOURNIER IS TAGGED INTO THE MATCH!!! LARIAT TO KING!!! HAZE ON THE TOP ROPE!!! HE JUMPS!!! FOURNIER MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND GRABS HAZE-THE CLIMAX! THE RIPCORD KNEE STRIKE!
Deadprez: BUT HAZE ISN’T THE LEGAL MAN!!!
Eve: Haze rolls out of the ring as Fournier tries to grab him, BUT HERE COMES DRAKE! DRAKE GRABS AHREN AROUND THE NECK AND DRAGS HIM TO THE CENTER OF THE RING! THIS PROMPTS MALCOLM TO RUSH BACK IN AND HE NAILS DRAKE IN THE BACK WITH A DROPKICK!!! Ahren falls forward but catches himself on the ropes! He looks down and grabs Drake. Malcolm goes back to his corner, but Drake is able to nail Ahren with a stiff looking forearm and stumble towards his own corner! Drake makes the tag to Jack, and Jack immediately takes Ahren down with a clothesline!!! HAZE GRABS AHREN AND WHIPS HIM INTO THE ROPES!!! AHREN LATCHES ON TO THEM THOUGH CAUSING HAZE TO SPIN AIMLESSLY AS HE TRIED TO HIT THE PINEAPPLE PUNCH! AHREN RUNS AND HITS HIM WITH A STIFF PUNCH!!! HAZE IS KNOCKED OUT AS FOURNIER GOES FOR THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TH-
Deadprez: DRAKE KING BREAKS THE PIN!!! HE STOMPS AWAY AT AHREN, KEEPING HIM DOWN AS JACK HAZE GETS TO HIS FEET. Drake King kneels down and grabs Ahren by the throat as Haze goes to the top rope!!! MALCOLM JONES! HE JUST PUSHED JACK HAZE OFF THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE OUTSIDE!!! LOOK AT THAT LOOK OF DISBELIEF ON DRAKE’S FACE!!! DRAKE DROPS AHREN BUT MALCOLM HAS CLIMBED TO THE TOP! MALCOLM LAUNCHES HIMSELF OFF AND CATCHES DRAKE WITH A HUGE SPLASH!!! THE REFEREE HAS LOST CONTROL OF THIS MATCH AND HE IS SCREAMING AT EVERYONE AND TRYING TO RESTORE ORDER!!!
Deaprez: Malcolm pulls Ahren to his feet and slaps him back to his senses!! Kassidy is screaming from ringside!!! JACK HAZE COMES BACK AND HITS THE PINEAPPLE PUNCH TO THE BACK OF FOURNIER!! JACK GRABS MALCOLM AND THROWS HIM OUT OF THE RING!!!! HE GOES FOR THE COVER ON AHREN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TH-
Eve: WHAT? KASSIDY HEART IS ON THE APRON YELLING AT THE REF. Haze is furious!! He shoves the ref out of the way and points to Fournier! BUT MALCOLM JONES COMING BACK AND THROWING JACK HAZE OUT OF THE RING FROM THE APRON. Malcolm following in pursuit of Haze as he crawls away- BUT THAT ONLY LEADS HIM TO DRAKE KING…THE GUILLOTINE! THE SICK KICK CONNECTS! BUT THAT WON’T DO MUCH AS JONES ISN’T THE LEGAL MAN AND THEY ARE NOT IN THE RING! Ahren Fournier is waiting for Haze as he rolls himself into the ring!!! AHREN RUNS THE ROPES!!! PROTECT YA NEC-!!!! NO!!! HAZE GOES UNDER FOURNIER… RUNS THE ROPES…HAZE IS REPLACED BY KING AS HE RUNS IN AND HITS THE GUILLOTINE ON AHREN! HAZE GOES FOR THE COVER AS DRAKE KING STANDS GUARD!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THRE-
Deadprez: HOW THE HELL?! AHREN FOURNIER JUST KICKED OUT OF THE GUILLOTINE!!! MALCOLM JONES IS BACK STANDING WITH A SMIRK AS DRAKE KING AND JACK HAZE ARE ARGUING!!! WHAT THEY DON’T REALIZE IS THAT AHREN IS MOVING TO HIS CORNER WHERE MALCOLM IS WAITING!!! THE GOAT MAKES THE TAG!!! MALCOLM ATTACKING BOTH MEN AS DRAKE KING QUICKLY MOVES OUT OF THE RING! MALCOLM IRISH WHIPS JACK INTO THE ROPES BUT NO JACK MANEUVERS AROUND AND THROWS HIM INTO THE ROPES- C-NOTE!!! THE SPEAR BY MALCOLM JONES TAKES DOWN JACK HAZE! WHAT? Malcolm isn’t going to pin him? HE JUMPS TO THE TOP ROPE!!! DRAKE KING THOUGH!!! HE TRIES TO PULL MALCOLM OFF BUT HE KICKS HIM OFF. MALCOLM JUMPS!!! 5 STAR SWAG SPLASH!!! NO!!!! HAZE GOT THE KNEES UP! HE BRINGS MALCOLM UP!!! ACID DROP! MALCOLM IS LIFTED UP AND TAKEN DOWN BY THE LEAPING OLYMPIC SLAM! HAZE GOES FOR THE COVER!!! WILL THIS BE ENOUGH TO GET THE VICTORY FOR HIS TEAM?!!?!?!?
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-
Eve: AHREN! AHREN FOURNIER PULLS JACK HAZE OUT OF THE RING AND STRIKES HIM DOWN WITH A STIFF FOREARM!!! DRAKE KING COMES TO HAZE’S AID NOW AS HE THROWS FOURNIER TOWARDS THE RAMP! HERE COMES MALCOLM!!! MALCOLM JONES HITS BOTH KING AND HAZE WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! DEAR GOD! MALCOLM PULLS THE LEGAL MAN, JACK HAZE INSIDE THE RING AND WRAPS HIM IN THE COCAINA CLUTCH! IT’S LOCKED IN AS JACK HAZE IS TRYING TO REACH THE ROPES! BUT DRAKE KING IS TRYING TO INTERVENE BUT THERE’S THE GOAT CHAMP AHREN FOURNIER! HE’S GRABBED KING!! POPUP SUPLEX! CHICKEN WING! LULLABY IS LOCKED IN ON KING ON THE OUTSIDE! BOTH DRAKE KING AND JACK HAZE ARE HELPLESS! BUT JACK HAZE ROLLS TOWARDS THE ROPES!!! HOW?!?!?! HE GRABS IT AND THE COCAINA CLUTCH IS BROKEN!!! HE SHOVES MALCOLM AWAY AND SLIDES UNDER THE ROPES! THE LULLABY IS BROKEN BY A QUICK STOMP! BUT MALCOLM JONES! A BASEBALL SLIDE TO JACK HAZE! BUT BEFORE MALCOLM CAN EVEN GET TO HIS FEET DRAKE KING PULLS HIM OUT OF THE RING! MALCOLM GRABS DRAKE AND THROWS HIM INTO THE RING! Ahren Fournier gets up to his feet as he sets his sights on Jack Haze! Ahren Fournier tosses Jack but he’s not aiming for the ring! JACK HAZE’S HEAD BOUNCES OFF THE RINGPOST! FOURNIER COMES TO THE RING TO AID MALCOLM AS DRAKE HAS PUSHED HIM TO THE CORNER! AHREN LANDS A PUNCH ON KING BUT DRAKE RETALIATES WITH A ELBOW AS BOTH MEN LAND PUNCHES ON EACH OTHER BACK AND FORTH! THE REF HAS GIVEN UP EVEN TRYING TO DO SOMETHING IN THIS MATCH AS THERE IS NO STOPPING ANY OF THESE MEN FROM LETTING GO!
Deadprez: Yes indeed!!! Jack Haze has reawoken as he runs into the ring AND NAILS A FOREARM ON MALCOLM JONES! HAZE IRISH WHIPS MALCOLM BUT MALCOLM REVERSES INTO HIS OWN AS HAZE RUNS INTO THE OPPOSITE CORNER! A RUNNING KNEE!!! THE WATER WHIP CONNECTS! Jones signaling Fournier to go to his corner as he goes for the pin!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TW-
Eve: Haze kicks out quickly! What would you have to do to take any of these men down?! Jones is shocked by what just happened! Malcolm moves back slowly and tags in Fournier. Haze is slowly making his way towards his corner to make the tag but Fournier brings him UP AND DOWN WITH A SNAP SUPLEX!!! HAZE GRIPS HIS BACK IN PAIN! Ahren brings Haze to the middle of the ring by his legs BUT HAZE TURNS AROUND AND PUSHES HIM AWAY! HE JUMPS!!! THE TAG IS MADE! TAG IS MADE! DRAKE KING HOPS INTO THE RING AND ATTACKS AHREN WITH MULTIPLE CLOTHESLINES! SUPERKICK TO A KNEELING AHREN FOURNIER BY DRAKE KING!!! BUT FOURNIER IS STILL KNEELING!!! DRAKE BRINGS HIMSELF AROUND AHREN AND GRABS HIM!!! ROLLING CUTTER!!! HEIR TO THE THRONE CONNECTS AS DRAKE KING GOES FOR THE PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TH-
Deadprez: MALCOLM JONES BREAKS UP THE PIN!!! JACK HAZE TACKLES JONES AND ATTACKS HIM! Drake is landing punches on Fournier on the ground as the battle between Haze and Jones moves to the outside! Ahren rolls towards the ropes but Drake King follows!!! AHREN WITH A DROP TOE HOLD. Ahren kicking Drake in the head before going onto the second rope…DOUBLE FOOT STOMP! NO DRAKE MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AS AHREN ROLLS FORWARD. Ahren runs forward!!! DRAKE KING DUCKS!!! PELE KICK! DRAKE BRINGS HIM UP BY THE ARM!!! AHREN IS LIFTED OFF THE GROUND INTO A FIREMAN’S CARRY..KNEE- NO!!! AHREN GRABS THE KNEE BEFORE IT IMPACTS WITH HIS HEAD. Drake King with a punch forcing Ahren to let go BUT AHREN RUNS FORWARD..PROTECT YA NECK!!! DRAKE KING SPINS 180 DEGREES OFF THE GROUND!!! AHREN GOING FOR A COVER!!!!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-
Eve: JACK HAZE BREAKS THE PIN!!!! AS MALCOLM JONES CHASES AFTER HIM!!! Ahren looking confused pushes Drake down for the pin again!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-
Deadprez: Not surprisingly Drake King kicks out. Meanwhile on the outside, MALCOLM JONES IS THROWN INTO THE BARRICADE BY JACK HAZE! Fournier realizes that as he runs the ropes!!! He stops!!! He jumps over the top rope!!! AHREN LEAPS OFF THE APRON, LANDING A ELBOW DROP ON HAZE! Drake King leaning on the ropes sees his opportunity…Fournier getting into the ring!!! BICYCLE KICK BY DRAKE KING AS AHREN FOURNIER COLLAPSES TO A KNEE!!! SUPERKICK TO FOURNIER BY KING!!! NO!!! AHREN HAS THE LEG BUT DRAKE MOVES IT INTO A ENZIGURI! Drake King has got the upperhand as he pulls Ahren into a double underhook position…BUT AHREN GETS OUT AND PUSHES HIM TO HIS CORNER…MALCOLM WITH THE TAG TO AHREN. Ahren lets go as Malcolm throws him to the opposite corner, BUT NO JACK HAZE PULLS DRAKE KING OUT OF THE RING! Malcolm looks confused as he rolls out of the ring and chases after Drake!!! Drake runs but AHREN CATCHES DRAKE AS HE RUNS PASS!!! HE HAS DRAKE’S HAND..GET FUCKED! DRAKE KING’S FINGERS HAVE CRACKED AS HE SCREAMS IN PAIN. Ahren pulls him up and holds him as Malcolm Jones runs looking for a C-Note. HOLY- DRAKE KING DUCKS- AHREN FOURNIER HIT BY THE C-NOTE!
Eve: Oh God. Kassidy Heart is going to have a fit. She is absolutely going off on Malcolm Jones now, and that temporarily distracts the King of Elite!!!
Deadprez: DRAKE KING TAKING ADVANTAGE OF IT! HEIR TO THE THRONE!!! A ROLLING CUTTER!!!! MALCOLM JONES IS PICKED UP AND THROWN INTO THE RING BY KING! DRAKE HOOKS THE LEG!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THR-
Eve: MALCOLM KICKS OUT!
Deadprez: DRAKE GOES TO MAKE THE TAG NOW, AS MALCOLM SITS UP AND TRIES TO CRAWL TO HIS CORNER!!! JACK HAZE MAKES HIS WAY TO THE TOP ROPE RIGHT HAS MALCOLM’S FINGERTIPS BRUSH THE GOAT’S!!! HAZE DROPS DOWN FROM THE APRON AND RUSHES TOWARDS AHREN!!! AHREN DUCKS A CLOTHESLINE!!! HAZE CATCHES HIMSELF BEFORE HE CRASHES INTO THE TURNBUCKLES!!! AHREN WHIRLS HIM AROUND! AHREN WITH A RIGHT HAND! HAZE FIRES BACK WITH A RIGHT! AND BOTH OF THEM ARE EXCHANGING PUNCHES NOW!! THESE TWO WILL FACE OFF ONE WEEK FROM TONIGHT FOR THE EAW CHAMPIONSHIP AND I CAN’T WAIT!! I LITERALLY CAN’T WAIT!!!
Eve: AHREN RAKES JACK ACROSS THE FACE!!! THAT GIVES THE GOAT THE ADVANTAGE!!! AHREN SUPERKICKS JACK IN THE SHIN!!! NO!!! HE FAKED IT!!! JACK FALLS TO HIS KNEES THOUGH!!! STARSTRUCK!!! AHREN JUST HIT STARSTRUCK!!!! AHREN GOES FOR THE COVER!!!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-
Deadprez: DRAKE KING BREAKS THE PIN ATTEMPT!!! MALCOLM JONES RUNS TOWARDS DRAKE BUT HE GETS THROWN OUTSIDE!!! KING RUNS THE ROPES!!! SUICIDE DIVE!!!! HE RUNS BACK IN AND GOES AGAIN FOR A…ANOTHER ONE! Drake King handling Malcolm Jones on the outside as Ahren Fournier pushes Haze to the corner and is attacking him with a variety of kicks and knees. BUT HAZE GRABS THE LEG! CROSS LEGBREAKER! THE HOLD IS LOCKED IN. HAZE PURPOSELY LET’S GO AS AHREN STUMBLES TO HIS KNEES INTO A…DDT NO AHREN TURNS INTO A BRIDGING PIN!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TW-
Eve: HAZE KICKS OUT AND IS STUMBLING TO HIS CORNER TO TRY FOR THE TAG!!! DRAKE IS BACK ON THE APRON BUT AHREN GRABS HIM BY THE LEGS TO KEEP HIM FROM MAKING THE TAG!!! DRAKE IS HOLDING OUT HIS HAND BUT HAZE CAN’T REACH HIM!!! AHREN DROPS AN ELBOW ON HAZE’S LEG!!! MALCOLM LOOKS TO DRAG DRAKE OFF THE APRON!!! AHREN GOES FOR A FIGURE FOUR! HAZE KICKS HIM AWAY! DRAKE SHAKES MALCOLM OFF AND NAILS HIM IN THE HEAD!!! HAZE FORCES HIMSELF UP AND LUNGES TOWARDS HIS CORNER!!! TAG TO DRAKE KING!! DRAKE MOVES INTO THE RING…CLOTHESLINE!!! AHREN GETS UP QUICKLY BUT HE LEADS HIMSELF INTO ANOTHER ONE! DRAKE MOVES TO THE SECOND ROPE AS AHREN FOURNIER GETS TO HIS FEET. BLOCKBUSTER BY DRAKE KING!!! Drake King kips up to his feet and lifts Fournier off the ground…
Deadprez: KINGS WASTELAND! THE FALCON ARROW CONNECTS! BUT MALCOLM JONES COMING BACK INTO THE RING!!! DRAKE HITS HIM WITH A CLO-!!! NO!!! MALCOLM DUCKS UNDER AS DRAKE KING FALLS OUT OF THE RING. Drake leans on the barricade as he sees Malcolm in the middle of the ring.
Drake King (Off Mic): YOU WON’T DO IT! YOU WON’T DO I-FOR GOD SAKES STOP SHOUTING THAT SACRED WORD!
Malcolm Jones: OK!!!
Crowd: OK!!! OK!!! OK!!! OK!!! OK!!!
Eve: The sacred word being yelled around the arena as Malcolm RUNS TO THE ROPES!!! But stops as Drake flinches.
Drake King (Off Mic): HA!!! Ok! Now I’m going to fuck you up!
Crowd: OK!!! OK!!! OK!!!
Drake King: NO!!! NOT OK!!! NOT OK!!! NOT OK!!! DAMMIT!!!
Deadprez: The crowd cheers because Drake King hasn’t realized it but he said the sacred word!!! He stops himself and starts slapping himself in the face but Malcolm is right behind him! MALCOLM JONES ATTACKS DRAKE KING AS AHREN AND JACK BUTT HEADS! Drake manages to evade the Interwire Champion’s attack and slips into the ring! DRAKE SHOVES AHREN OUT OF THE WAY AND POINTS AT MALCOLM!!! JACK RUNS LAUNCHES HIMSELF THROUGH THE ROPES AND LANDS ON MALCOLM!!! DRAKE HAS AHREN IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!! DRAKE WITH A KICK THAT SENDS AHREN TO HIS KNEES!!! SUPERKICK!! BICYCLE KNE-!! NO!!! KASSIDY IS ON THE APRON! DRAKE STALKS OVER TO HER AND GRABS HER BY THE HAIR!!! HE IS SCREAMING IN HER FACE NOW!!! AHREN IS BACK UP AND SEES HIS MANAGER IN TROUBLE!!! AHREN GRABS DRAKE FROM BEHIND AND ROLLS HIM UP!!!
Eve: DRAKE ROLLS THROUGH!!! DRAKE WITH A ROLL UP OF HIS OWN!!!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-
Eve: Drake King almost had it!!! Drake already angry by just saying the word OK slams the ground and yells at the ref. Drake pulls himself to his feet and viciously grabs the ref…AHREN! AHREN FOURNIER GRABS HIM INTO A STRAIGHT JACKET POSITION… THE CLIMAX! RIPCORD KNEE STRIKE HITS THE FACE OF DRAKE AS HE FALLS DOWN TO A CRAWLING POSITION…AHREN RUNS TOWARDS DRAKE…STORYBOOK ENDING! AHREN STOMPS DRAKE KING TO THE GROUND. AHREN GOES FOR THE PIN ON A LIFELESS DRAKE KING WHO I HONESTLY THINK IS DEAD!
Ref: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(DING DING DING!)
(“Starboy” by The Weeknd plays back up as Kassidy Heart and Malcolm Jones get into the ring to accompany an exhausted Ahren Fournier)
Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN YOUR WINNER…THE TEAM OF AHREN FOURNIER AND MALCOLM JONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadprez: Drake King and Jack Haze put up a good fight tonight but it was the champions that came out victorious tonight, will that stay the same for Under Siege?
Eve: Well you never kn-
Deadprez: You legit have said that 10 times, the champions are coming out victorious they just showed that tonight yeesh.
Eve: Fine, but great job by Ahren Fournier and Malcolm Jones tonight.
(Camera reopens to Hurricane Hawk walking backstage towards his office once more. He turns the corner to see the door but it’s cracked.)
Hurricane Hawk: The Hell?
(Hawk pushes the door open to see that it’s pitch black. He fumbles around until he finds a light switch)
Hurricane Hawk: WHAT THE HELL?!?
(The office is completely destroyed and covered in red spray paint. The desk is broken in half, his computer is shattered, the window is busted, papers are everywhere. And in the middle of it all… a man tied to a chair with a bag over his head.)
(Hawk rushes over and removes the bag from the man’s head to reveal producer James with duct tape over his mouth.)
Hurricane Hawk: No… no no no. We got rid of them… we sent them home… you said they left…
(Hawk tears the duct tape from James’s mouth)
Hurricane Hawk: Yeah. Yeah I’m here. What is it?
James: I quit…
(Hawk stands pats the young man on the shoulder. Then he turns around to see giant red letters spray painted over the door and wall)
ALL SHALL KNEEL…
(EAW Network Logo buzzes)