(EAW intro plays.)
(RECAP OF LAST WEEK’S SHOWDOWN: Jamie O’Hara is in the ring as he talks about how Territorial Invasion didn’t go his way. He feels like he’s let everyone down, but the fans make it clear that they haven’t turned their backs on him. Jamie talks about Battle of Egypt and his match with Tyler Parker. As Jamie finishes his promo on Tyler, the ILLIONAIRES come out and they play the catch up game with Jamie. Ahren Fournier and Chris Elite claim that they still have Jamie’s back. Showdown General Manager Jenny Punk comes out as she’s amazed by the unison between the three men. Jenny praises Jamie for his efforts at War Games and claims that he was the perfect Elitists on paper. However, Jenny states that Jamie deserves to be alone in this world as Ahren and Chris attack Jamie, turning their backs on him. Jenny joins the ILLIONAIRES in the ring and buries the hell out of Jamie and announces that she promises to take the ILLIONAIRES to success, something that Jamie couldn’t do with them at Territorial Invasion.)
(RECAP CONTINUES: Mark Michaels is in the ring as he cuts a promo about his successful title defense at Territorial Invasion. He calls out to any man in the locker room to accept his challenge for the PURE Championship at Battle of Egypt. After a few moments, Showdown’s newest trade Jake Smith comes out and accepts Mark’s challenge. Both men get their words out to each other. It leads to the two men clashing Jake has Mark in position for Broken Wings, but Mark escapes the ring and heads up the ramp as he raises the PURE Championship high in the air.)
(“DNA” by Kendrick Lamar plays as that symbolizes the opening of Saturday Night Showdown. It pans inside the Capital One Arena as “DNA” continues to play in the background. The camera moves towards the crowd as the fans get their various signs in hopes that they make it on TV. The camera does that for a moment before heading towards Eve, Gavin Kirkland and Deadprez on the commentator’s booth.)
(SCREEN BAR — WASHINGTON, D.C.)
Gavin Kirkland: We are a week away from Battle of Egypt! Welcome to Saturday Night Showdown! I am Cleopatra’s boyfriend (she doesn’t know that)! I am Gavin Kirkland! To my right is the beautiful Eve and to my left is Deadprez! I am excited about Battle of Egypt! We’re going to Suez!
Eve: I’m excited to head towards Egypt! The match are piling up from the Showdown side of things! We find quite a few of our Elitists find themselves on the card! Jamie O’Hara versus Tyler Parker; Mark Michaels versus Jake Smith and Mr. DEDEDE versus Charlie Marr!
Deadprez: Let’s not forget that we have to get through this show before heading to Suez! We got an action packed main event as The Ace Jamie O’Hara takes on the man who has been demanding a bit more competition on Showdown, Ryan Wilson!
Gavin Kirkland: Right now, The ILLIONAIRES have requested some of our time! Let’s get straight to it!
(“Money and Power” by Kid Ink plays through the arena as the crowd stand to there feet in synchronization as a chorus of boos rain down toward the ILLIONARES. Chris Elite, Ahren Fournier, and Ahren’s beloved cat Jennipurr walk out onto the stage, very shocked by the reaction. Chris seems to console Ahren, as Ahren uses Jennipurr’s fur to dry his fake tears. Jennipurr doesn’t appreciate the act and takes a swipe at Ahren.. He vigorously apologizes and tries to tell her it was just a joke.)
Deadprez: These two committed a violent attack on Jamie O’Hara last week, constructed by our own GM Jenny Punk, and I for one am disgusted. They weren’t able to get the job done, and they took it out on the GOAT Elitist, because they weren’t able to get the job done. Honestly they should look in the mirror if they want to know why they didn’t get the job done..
Gavin Kirkland: Ew sounds like I’m sitting next to a jelly donut.. These two are the GOATEST most ELITE team in EAW today, and soon enough you will see them as Tag Team Champions.. Do you really think future Tag Team Champions, and Former World Champions bog someone down? I love Jamie with all of my heart, but stay woke please.. cuz right now, you’re schleep, which in turn makes me schleep..
(Ahren goes over and gets three microphones, he tosses one to Chris Elite, and lays one on the ground in front of Jennipurr.)
Chris Elite: Ight so last week, we did what had to be done. You thought that we could have some bozo like Jamie O’Hara try and make us look like fools and just get away with it? Yeah naw, it’s not going down like that. We tried to bond with the vanilla midget, but it just can’t be done. His lack of ability to connect with anyone weighed this team down to the point of no return. It was all about his own personal glory, and we couldn’t get past that. He came out here last week talkin some bullshit talmbout some he the best captain we could’ve asked for…
Ahren Fournier: THEN HE GET THESE HOOVES BIIIIIIIHHH!
Chris Elite: Cause first and foremost ain’t no team captain that could’ve ran the ship better than me or Ahren. WE are the only two on this brand worthy of such a title. Jamie O’Hara.. Is there any other Elitist more overrated?
(The sound of Jennipurr chewing on the microphone is heard… Ahren Fournier goes over and moves the microphone away from her.)
Ahren Fournier: There is no Elitist more overrated than Jamie O’Hara. Chris and I have shown it in the past. When we get in the ring with him, he folds. Whether we’re against him, or teaming with him, he always crumbles. I guess he just can’t take the pressure of having God Given Greatness, and a big old GOAT standing next to him. He’s like obsessed with trying to impress us or something, and tries too hard to be cool. But he should know that no matter what, he’ll never be cool to us. Sure he can have that leather jacket, and nice beard, and abs for days.. But no matter what, he’ll always be a LOSER! Jenny Punk picked us as to team of the future! Because we are the biggest draw in this company.
Chris Elite: We are the best TAG TEAM in this company. We are what make the show run smoothly. If it wasn’t for the ILLIONAIRES, shit this show would be off the air. Jamie thinks this show runs through him, and everybody has to follow his lead, but naw. We run this shit, and if he has a problem with that, he can get this smoke yet again. Last week was just an appetizer of what could be. Jamie O’Hara is nothing but a walking thesaurus, trying to impress everyone with big words, and shit.. See how impressive all them words are when your face down in your own blood playa. Fuck a Jamie O’Hara, dudes a bitch for real..
(Jennipurr chewing on the microphone can be heard again.)
Ahren Fournier: Shh, it’s not your turn to talk yet.. JAMIE! You got what you deserved last week mmkay? You have all these people fooled, but now us! Because you can’t fool people who aren’t fools, and we aren’t fools! We knew that he was just using this for his own personal gain, not to get Showdown on the map! Ahren Fournier, and Chris Elite BLEED blue, we LOVE Showdown. Jamie O’Hara only luh Jamie O’Hara. And it’s not just us that believe and know that; that’s why Jenny Punk asked us to do what we did. So we did! We made an example out of the ever selfish, paint drying, grass growing, Jamie O’Hara!
Ahren Fournier: Sigh, because watching paint drying, and grass growing is boring.. I’m calling him boring.
Ahren Fournier: No it does make sense, stop you’re acting up.. Chris get my spray bottle.
(“Ultimate Battle” by ZENTA plays and Jamie O’Hara walks down the ramp, showing no fear getting right into the ring with Ahren Fournier and Chris Elite.)
Jamie O’Hara: Oi fuck you two on about? You two have some serious mental issues don’t ya? You really think that I would let you two be on Team Showdown for my own ego? Yeah nah, that shit doesn’t make sense. You two cunts are cooked, and need to figure your shit out. You two want to attack me, and then blame me for the attack? I came out here and the first thing I did was take responsibility for the loss, and that wasn’t good enough. I came out here and I said I let you two cunts down. I took it all on my shoulders, and that wasn’t enough for you. I don’t care what you two want from me, but it’s in the past. I don’t know why you two are so fixated on me, and what’s going with me, the three of us are done.. Just get over it, because that’s what I’m going to do.
Chris Elite: Yeah, yeah, that’s right next week you go against Tyler Parker, don’t you? Do you think you’ll honestly get the win? Tyler Parker is much better than you, he’s someone that could actually LEAD a team to a victory. He’s someone not as one dimensional as yourself. You can’t get out of your own way, your ego is what will always be your downfall. You always said some shit about Ahren and Chris Elite had so much ego they were just too up they own ass, but it would appear that that couldn’t be further from the truth. We, the ILLIONARES, are the ones chasing that Tag Team gold, while you will always be forever alone. I mean shit, you were spending two years ago beating your women on live TV over the title. I can’t blame you though.. That bitch deserved a good beating, I mean my god…
Ahren Fournier: Now now Chris, we don’t have to get the wench involved; we know that mentioning her won’t mean anything to him. He doesn’t really love her, he doesn’t really love anyone but himself.
Jamie O’Hara: Look who’s talking..
Ahren Fournier: EXCUSE ME!!
(Ahren Fournier stomps over to Jennipurr and scoops her up into his arms.)
Ahren Fournier: You abandoned your fur Niece, and you have the audacity to say I don’t care about anyone but myself? What is this tomfoolery! Look your cat niece in the eyes, and apologize..
(Ahren pushes Jennipurr close to the face of Jamie O’Hara. Jamie takes two steps back.)
Jamie O’Hara: You have no idea what I’m even talking about. Your obsession with your cat, your fraud tag team means nothing.. Everyone know that the two of you are just together for your own personal gain. Whenever ..if ever, you two win the Tag Team Championships, that is when you stop caring, and this little partnership dies. You have no real connection, same as what you said about me. Can you honestly look into the mirror and tell yourself that this tag team is legitimate? That it isn’t some sort of joke? And I know that you’ll most likely try to attack me now, because you can’t fight back in a battle of wit, because you know I’m right. That’s what the uncivilized do. Bring up Cam, doesn’t have anything to do with this, bring up Tyler Parker, doesn’t have anything to do with this.. Bring up any incoherent thought that babbles around in your head, and it most likely has nothing to do with this. You projecting your jealousy toward me, means nothing. You’re upset that I was chosen as the team captain of Showdown, and I guarantee you didn’t give it your all on that day, because you wanted us to fail.. NO, you wanted ME to fail, so you could point your fingers at me and say look, he’s not as great as he says he is. But that’s not how it works. We need team cohesion to make this work, because War Games is about teamwork. And as much as you two pushed this idea that we’re best friends, and that we got along swimmingly, the whole plan all along was to try and make me look bad.. Am I right?
Chris Elite: Naw… Look here bitch.. Look right into my eyes… I will look into your soul and tell you the straight up truth..
(Jamie O’Hara gets right in the face of Chris Elite.)
Chris Elite: For years yo bitch ass been talking this bullshit.. You think this and you think that, but ain’t no one care about your opinion just STFU DAMN. Yo annoying ass keep talking, and you ain’t done shit in like a year now. You know what happened to your little streak of success? You got got by me you fucking bozo. I ruined your success. Ahren damaged your armor, and you know what? You ain’t never been the same sense. So you tried to try and out us or some dumb shit, and tried to make US look bad on the national stage.. And for that, we ain’t taking your shit no more. Ahren…
Deadprez: AHREN JUST BLINDSIDED JAMIE WITH A STEEL CHAIR TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! BUT JAMIE DUCKED! HE SAW ON THE TITANTRON. HE KICKS THE CHAIR OUT OF AHRENS HANDS AND PICKS IT UP HIMSELF. JAMIE HAS THE CHAIR NOW! He swings the chair at Chris Elite.. BUT HE DUCKS! Jamie missed, and Chris rolls out of the ring. Jamie turns his head over at Ahren, and he swings the chair at Ahren! Ahren ducks; AND HE THROWS JENNIPURR AT JAMIE! Jamie drops the chair, and catches Jennipurr in the face! Jennipurr is scratching Jamie’s face! Jamie throws Jennipurr back to the ground, and Jennipurr scurries away, BOX OFFICE SMASH! Jamie landed on the chair that he dropped… Oh wait what’s Ahren got in mind.. Jamie is starting to get up! STORY BOOK ENDING!! ON THE CHAIR!!
Gavin Kirkland: But it doesn’t look like the “justified” attack is over yet. Chris is directing Ahren over to the turnbuckle.. What’s he thinking now? Chris is putting Jamie up on his shoulders, and Ahren is going to the top turnbuckle! OH THEY GON DO IT! Ahren leaps off the top turnbuckle like the flying GOAT he is.. PUT IT ON ICE!! Protect Ya Neck connects and Jamie flops to the floor like a fish out of water.. He probs dead to be honest..
Deadprez: The ILLIONAIRES have left Jamie laying in the middle of the ring yet again. And he has a match later! What an unfortunate series of events for him. I’m hoping that he can recover in time or Ryan Wilson may pick up an upset here!
Gavin Kirkland: Some people never learn. It wasn’t wise for my baby boy Jamie to come out here, but … YOU DON’T FUCK WITH THE ILLIONARES!!
(Money and Power by Kid Ink starts up, as the ILLIONARES, walk back up the ramp. Jennipurr scurries to Ahren Fournier’s arms, and they make their way to the back smirking.)
(Commercial featuring Jamie O’Hara and Cameron Ella Ava debating on whether Taco Bell is authentic Mexican food or not. Spoiler alert: it’s not.)
(The show returns from commercial break as “Castle” by Halsey plays through the speakers as Harlow Reichert steps out from the back. The crowd is giving Harlow a nice ovation.)
Gina Romano: THE FOLLOWING MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL —
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!!!
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST…FROM CHRISTCHURCH, NEW ZEALAND…SHE IS “MISS NO FUCKS GIVEN”… HARRRRRRRRRRLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW REEEEEIIIIICCCCCHHHHEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!
Eve: Harlow Reichert suffered a heartbreaking loss at Territorial Invasion as she failed to capture the PURE Championship from Mark Michaels! Harlow displayed heart and fighting spirit into the match! I still cannot believe that she managed to kick out when Mark hit her with the PURE Championship when the referee was done! Not even that, but she refused to submit to the Liberation Has Begun!
Gavin Kirkland: Thicclow should be PURE Champion right now! I am going to be blunt right here! There is no other woman who displays what it truly means to be a pure wrestler than Harlow! It just sucks that things turned out the way they did at Territorial Invasion, but she’ll get there!
Deadprez: I think we can all agree that Harlow Reichert is a future champion and she can shine when given the platform. Territorial Invasion wasn’t her night, but it will be her night one day!
(By the time the commentators have finished talking, Harlow Reichert is in the ring warming up for the match. “Castle” is replaced by “It Follows” by Cane Hill as the crowd boos for Xander Payne. Xander steps out from the back as he takes in the scenery.)
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING HER OPPONENT… FROM BRAMPTON, ONTARIO, CANADA…WEIGHING IN 255 POUNDS… HE IS THE “PAYNEKILLER”…XAAAAANNNNNNDDDDDEEEEERRRRRRRRR PAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: 255 still doesn’t seem right to me, but we’re going to be on a ship in two weeks! How in the world can we expect for Xander Payne to be allowed on? I refuse to commentate if I’m on the same ship as him!
Eve: Gavin, be nice! Xander Payne is still on a high from his victory against Myles at Territorial Invasion! He managed to get a victory over Lance Blackfyre last week! At this moment, it seems like nothing can stop him at all! He may see himself as unstoppable, but Harlow is going into this match to knock Xander a couple steps!
Deadprez: Xander is bigger and stronger than Harlow. It’s going to be tough to keep Xander down. He has been on a whole other level and it cannot be stopped!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Eve: It seems like Xander Payne could care less about this match, but Harlow Reichert goes right after the bigger man with a series of forearm shots! However, it doesn’t seem enough to knock down Xander as he manages to push Harlow back to the ropes, but Harlow refuses to back down as she delivers another forearm shot Xander’s way, but Xander manages to get Harlow by her wrist! It seems like Harlow is regretting trying to throw that forearm as XANDER DELIVERS A GIANT HEADBUTT THAT SENDS HARLOW TO ONE KNEE! XANDER GRABS HARLOW BY HER HAIR BEFORE THROWING HER TO THE CORNER! XANDER GOES RUNNING TOWARDS HER BEFORE CONNECTING WITH A RUNNING UPPERCUT! HARLOW STUMBLES FORWARD AS XANDER PICKS UP THE MISS NO FUCKS GIVEN BEFORE DROPPING HARLOW ONTO HIS KNEE!
Gavin Kirkland: Chubb Chubb McGee goes for the cover on Thicclow!
Referee: ONE! TWO!
Deadprez: Harlow Reichert manages to kick out at two! That was a quick count by the official, but Xander Payne gets Harlow by her red hair before pulling in the woman for a chinlock! Xander transitions the hold to a sleeperhold, but Harlow manages to get her foot onto the bottom rope, forcing for Xander to release the hold!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE!
Eve: Xander Payne has no other choice, but to release the hold. Harlow Reichert uses the assistance of the ropes to pick herself up on her feet! The official steps aside as he lets Xander and Harlow resume the match! Xander goes right after Harlow — Harlow connects with a dropkick to Xander’s legs as that forces him to one knee! Harlow connects with a shoot kick to the side of Xander’s head before pulling in the bigger man and connecting with a snap DDT! However, Harlow maintains hold of Xander’s head and goes for a side headlock! Harlow is one of the few people on this roster that prides herself of being a pure wrestler! It’s what makes a championship such as the PURE Championship perfect for her. Perhaps, if she manages to pick up the victory here, it can help her get back into the title picture post-Battle of Egypt.
Gavin Kirkland: The PURE Championship could use someone like Thicclow as their champion, but it seems like we won’t be getting that anytime soon! Xander Payne is now putting some effort into getting himself away from the headlock, but Harlow is doing a fantastic job with keeping fatso down! Xander is trying to lift Harlow off her feet, but Harlow manages to keep her feet down! Xander isn’t getting discouraged easily as he manages to lift Harlow off her feet and throws Harlow behind him!
Deadprez: Harlow Reichert manages to land on her feet as Xander Payne turns himself around —
Eve: — HARLOW REICHERT FOR THE FLYING KNEE! THIS IS THE SET UP FOR LES MISERABLES!
Gavin Kirkland: XANDER SHOVES HARLOW AWAY FROM HIM! IT WAS ALMOST LIKE XANDER WAS THE CAR AND HARLOW WAS SOMETHING ON THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! HARLOW IS CLUTCHING TO HER STOMACH IN PAIN AS XANDER HAS TAKEN CONTROL OF THIS MATCH! XANDER GETS HARLOW BEFORE THROWING HER TO THE CORNER! XANDER TAKES A FEW STEPS BACK BEFORE RUNNING TOWARDS HARLOW!
Deadprez: Harlow Reichert manages to jump and sit on the top turnbuckle as Xander Payne goes shoulder first onto the steel post at the corner! Harlow jumps onto Xander’s back — SUNSET FLIP ON THE FORMER NEW BREED CHAMPION! HARLOW HAS HIM THERE FOR THE COVER! SHE’S LOOKING TO END THINGS HERE!
Referee: OOOOOOOOOOOONE!!! TWOO—
Eve: Xander Payne rolls himself out of the roll up! He finds himself to a vertical base as does Harlow Reichert! Xander goes right after Harlow with a clothesline, BUT HARLOW MANAGES TO DUCK THE CLOTHESLINE BEFORE SPRING BOARDING OFF THE ROPES AND CONNECTING WITH A BACK FLIP DDT! HARLOW CALLS THAT ATONEMENT! SHE MANAGES TO GET XANDER DOWN TO HIS BACK! HARLOW NEEDS TO MAKE SURE THAT IT STAYS LIKE THAT! HARLOW IS UP TO HER FEET AS SHE CONNECTS WITH A DOUBLE FOOT STOMP ON A GROUNDED XANDER PAYNE! XANDER CLUTCHES HIS STOMACH AS HARLOW PLANS TO GO FOR THE COVER THERE, BUT XANDER MANAGES TO LIFT HARLOW OFF OF HIM WITH ALMOST ZERO EFFORT!
Gavin Kirkland: I’m surprised that Xander Payne has all of this strength! Thicclow refuses to stay down for long as she gets back to a vertical base! Xander begins to rise back to his feet, but Harlow goes right after him with a giant knee to Xander’s forehead, which makes him fall to one knee! Harlow gets behind Xander before connecting with a bulldog! Xander gets to a crawling position, BUT HARLOW MANAGES TO CONNECT WITH A SLEEPERHOLD ON XANDER! SHE MANAGES TO GET A BODY SCISSORS OVER XANDER! IT SEEMS LIKE HARLOW MAY BE LOOKING FOR A SUBMISSION VICTORY HERE! IT WILL BE MIGHTY IMPRESSIVE FOR HARLOW TO MAKE XANDER SUBMIT OR PASS OUT! IF SHE CAN MAKE THAT GIANT FREAK OF NATURE, LANCE BLACKFYRE PASS OUT, XANDER SHOULD BE NO ISSUE FOR HER AT ALL!
Deadprez: It seems like Xander refuses to die! He managed to get Myles out of Showdown for the time being! Xander has nothing in this world holding him back! It seems like Xander doesn’t really see Harlow as a threat to him! Hell, Xander has stated that he doesn’t see ANY woman as a threat to him. You get one victory over Cameron Ella Ava and you somehow get an ego!
Eve: Let’s remember that Xander cheated to beat Cameron that one time, but I’m rooting for Harlow Reichert to defeat Xander Payne with no controversy at all! If there is any woman on this brand that can shut up Xander Payne, it has to be Harlow. Xander refuses to die! She has this sleeperhold locked in, but I don’t see Xander passing out or anything! It seems like he’s trying to find some strength to get himself back to his feet! Meanwhile, you have Harlow who is doing everything she can to keep her opponent down!
Gavin Kirkland: Xander is getting up to his feet, but Harlow refuses to release the sleeperhold on her opponent! Xander manages to get a good grasp of Harlow’s hair —
Deadprez: — XANDER PAYNE USES HARLOW REICHERT’S HAIR AND FLIPS HER IN FRONT OF HIM! HARLOW FALLS ONTO A SEATED POSITION! XANDER WITH A HUGE PENALTY KICK ONTO HARLOW’S FACE! THIS SENDS MISS NO FUCKS GIVEN TO HER BACK! I THINK I HEARD THE SOUND OF THAT KICK, GUYS! Xander stands to the side of Harlow before connecting with a standing elbow drop onto Harlow’s chest! Xander gets Harlow by her chin! It seems like he’s taunting her!
Xander Payne (off-mic): Miss No Fucks Given? I could give less of a fuck about having you as an opponent! You’re not worth my time, Harlow! Why would I want an opponent who always seems to lose?
(Xander Payne throws Harlow Reichert out of the ring. Harlow falls ringside. Xander stands in front of the set of ropes.)
Xander Payne (off-mic): Out of the ring you go! You got nothing on me! Nothing —
Eve: HARLOW REICHERT GETS XANDER PAYNE BY HIS LEGS BEFORE USING ALL OF HER STRENGTH TO PULL HIM OUT OF THE RING! AS XANDER IS GETTING HIMSELF BACK TO HIS FEET, HARLOW GETS ON THE APRON BEFORE CONNECTING WITH A FLYING DDT ON XANDER PAYNE! Both Elitists are down as the crowd is applauding these two for that amazing spot! If Harlow needed a big move to get herself back into this match, it needed to be that one! Harlow is the first one back to her feet! Xander is slowly trying to get back to his feet as well, but Harlow plants Xander with a superkick!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: HARLOW MISSES THAT SUPERKICK AS XANDER DUCKS! XANDER MANAGES TO GET A HOLD OF HARLOW’S WAIST — GERMAN SUPLEX! NO! HARLOW MANAGES TO LAND ONTO HER FEET AS XANDER TURNS HIMSELF AROUND! HARLOW WITH A FOREARM SMASH ONTO XANDER’S FACE! XANDER STUMBLES BACK BEFORE PLANTING HARLOW WITH A FOREARM SMASH OF HIS OWN! HARLOW CONNECTS WITH A FOREARM SMASH AGAIN, BUT XANDER CONNECTS WITH A FOREARM SMASH OF HIS OWN! HARLOW! XANDER! HARLOW! XANDER! HARLOW! HARLOW! HARLOW! XANDER BACKS AWAY WITH EACH FOREARM SMASH! HARLOW PULLS XANDER PAYNE BY HIS ARM AND WHIPS HIM TOWARDS THE BARRICADE!
Deadprez: No! Xander Payne manages to counter Harlow’s Irish whip and whips Harlow Reichert onto the steel steps! Harlow goes crashing as Xander takes a few steps back before connecting with a nasty big boot onto the skull of Harlow! I would have thought that Harlow was going to maintain that upper hand, but there is no counting out Xander Payne! He’s way too good, guys! Xander gets Harlow and rolls her back into the ring! Xander with a somersault leg drop onto Harlow Reichert! I think I just heard Gavin die a little bit as Xander hit that leg drop on Harlow! Xander stays there for the cover! Could this be it?
Referee: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Eve: Harlow Reichert gets her right shoulder up! Xander Payne applies a basement abdominal stretch on Miss No Fucks Given! Xander is a man who is capable of doing anything. He can be a brawler, technician or be a submission specialist like Harlow. Hell, he may be able to give Harlow a run for her money as the best pure wrestler on the roster, but who knows? Xander tilts Harlow’s head to the side, which inflicts even more pressure! Harlow begins to cry out in pain as Xander is telling Harlow to give up! I don’t want to see Harlow giving up! In her mind, she feels bad for how things went at Territorial Invasion and losing this match isn’t going to be doing her favors at all! It’s still going to make her feel guilty in a way!
Gavin Kirkland: Thicclow refuses to lose and I don’t wanna see her losing to Xander Payne out of all people! Harlow doesn’t deserve another heartbreak! Come on, Harlow!
(A rhythmic stomp of the fans’ feet is heard through the audio, rallying for Harlow Reichert to make a comeback in the match.)
Deadprez: The fans trying to send their energy Harlow’s way! They wanna see her make a comeback in this match! It seems to be working in her favor! Harlow is using whatever strength is available for her as she tries to rip herself away from Xander Payne’s clutches!
Eve: However, Xander is trying to keep Harlow down! Harlow is not letting that stop her whatsoever! She makes it back to her feet! SHE CONNECTS WITH A SERIES OF BACK ELBOWS TO XANDER’S FACE! XANDER HAS TO RELEASE HER HOLD IN ORDER TO BLOCK THOSE ELBOWS! HARLOW USES THAT LITTLE WINDOW OF TIME TO CONNECT WITH A SPINNING BACKFIST ONTO XANDER! XANDER STUMBLES BACK AS HARLOW REBOUNDS FROM THE ROPES! HARLOW GOES FOR A RUNNING LARIAT, BUT XANDER MANAGES TO CATCH HARLOW BY HER ARM AND CONNECT WITH A HIP TOSS, BUT HARLOW MANAGES TO LAND ON HER FEET! XANDER STANDS BEHIND HER AS HE MANAGES TO LIFT HARLOW UP TO HIS SHOULDERS!
Gavin Kirkland: ARGENTINE NECKBREAKER ON HARLOW REICHERT! I THINK XANDER PAYNE JUST KILLED HARLOW! THAT BASTARD! XANDER GOES FOR THE COVER! :sob: :sob: :sob:
Referee: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! THREEEE—
Deadprez: HARLOW KICKS OUT!!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: :blessed: :blessed: :blessed: !!!!!
Eve: Harlow Reichert kicks out of that power move and I have no idea how she does that!! Xander Payne is trying to clarify with the official about whether that was a three count! The referee claims that it was a two count and Xander slams his hands against the mat! Xander seems a little irritated at the moment! HE PICKS UP HARLOW AND PICKS UP HARLOW — OVERDOSE ON HARLOW!!! CANADIAN RACK DROPPED ONTO A KNEE!!!
Gavin Kirkland: Harlow Reichert gets dropped to Xander Payne’s knee, but she finds herself into a seated position! Harlow refuses to stay down! She refuses to give Xander that satisfaction! Xander with a huge grin on his face — he is looking to end this match now! XANDER GETS HARLOW TO HER FEET! XANDER PUSHES HARLOW TO THE ROPES AS SHE REBOUNDS OFF OF THEM! LAST SEDATION — POP UP POWERBOMB ON HARLOW! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! :sob: :sob: :sob:
Deadprez: HARLOW REICHERT MANAGES TO CATCH HERSELF BEFORE XANDER PAYNE COULD CONNECT WITH LAST SEDATION! XANDER MANAGES TO KICK HARLOW IN THE STOMACH BEFORE PUSHING HER BACK AGAINST THE SET OF ROPES!! LAST SEDATION!!
Eve: NO! HARLOW REICHERT MANAGES TO JUMP FROM THE POSITION FOR THE POWERBOMB AND BEHIND XANDER PAYNE! HARLOW HAS XANDER BY HIS ARMS! BACKSLIDE PIN ON THE FORMER UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPION! HARLOW LOOKING TO SNEAK AWAY WITH THE VICTORY!
Referee: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! THREEEEEEEEE—
Gavin Kirkland: XANDER PAYNE SLIDES OUT OF THE BACKSLIDE PIN!
Deadprez: HARLOW REICHERT WITH A FLYING KNEE ONTO THE SKULL OF XANDER PAYNE OUT OF NOWHERE! HARLOW PULLS XANDER TOWARDS HER AND CONNECTS WITH A SMALL PACKAGE!!!!
Referee: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
(Xander Payne get out of the roll up at the last second.)
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Castle” plays again as Harlow Reichert rolls out of the ring and falls into a seated position on the bottom of the ramp. Xander Payne is looking around in disbelief in the ring with what Harlow managed to do. Harlow seems to be in shock of the entire thing. Xander is yelling at the official about kicking out as the official tries to get Xander to calm down.)
Gina Romano: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH… HARRRRRRRLLLLOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW REEEEEIIIICCCCHHHEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!
Eve: Harlow Reichert surprises Xander Payne with a roll up there! She manages to pick up much needed victory! Xander Payne is surprised by the roll up!
Gavin Kirkland: Harlow literally gets a big victory over Xander! Xander Payne looked ferocious in the match! There is no idea that he was caught off guard with a second and Harlow was able to take advantage of that. Congrats to Harlow!
( We open up to a shadowy confessional, where EAW Vice President HRDO can be seen sitting. )
Off-camera interviewer: Can you describe the first thing you think about when you hear the name “Tyler Parker”?
HRDO: Tyler Parker… there’s a hell of a story behind that name. The first thing that comes to mind, you ask?
( HRDO smiles, mulling it over for a brief moment. )
HRDO: I guess you have to go back to the first time most of the world heard of the name Tyler Parker. 2007.
( Slow-building, brooding classical music plays in the background as we open up to the November 2007 AWF FPV: Night Of Supremacy. In this event we would see a much younger, less developed version of Tyler Parker named “Scrappy” entering the event with the AWF National Answers Championship. A behind shot shots him walking out to the stage, looking around at the capacity venue, and looking up at the ring where awaiting him was none other than Mr. DEDEDE. )
HRDO voiceover: That Fall of ’07, in a star studded AWF dressing room filled with the most ruthless and hungry competitors in the world packed into one place. Future Hall of Famers, industry titans to be.. and there’s this talk of some kid trained by DEDEDE that just picked up the National Answers Championship.
( We see moments with Scrappy competing against other AWF competitors on the “War” brand. )
HRDO voiceover: And then all of a sudden you hear that he’s challenging DDD.. something most people just didn’t do, regardless of where you were on the card.
( Highlights from the Night Of Supremacy contest continue. )
HRDO voiceover: And then come to find out one night he actually does the unthinkable.
( The highlights end with Scrappy ultimately defeating Mr. DEDEDE in a moment that sent the entire audience into a frenzy. )
( We see Deadprez in the confessional. )
Deadprez: I’ll never forget it. I remember thinking to myself “HIM?” “HIM?” This scrawny, 180 pounds soaking wet motherfucker beat a multiple time World Champion? What the hell?
( Newspaper articles and sports headlines would capture the upset, creating a shockwave in the sports world, and we go back to Deadprez in the confessional. )
Deadprez: But I think that was the first of many moments where we’d come to realize this wasn’t just a fluke.
HRDO (confessional): I believe at the time a lot of us just thought this was some kid catching lightning in a bottle. Of course come to find out this would only be the prequel to the beginning of one hell of a story… The Tyler Parker Saga.
( Black screen flashes the bold title: “The Tyler Parker Saga”. )
( The music transitions in pace to contemplative guitars, and we cut to Impact sitting in the confessional with his World Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder. )
Impact (confessional): I believe the first time I got the opportunity to meet Tyler Parker was early 2009. In fact the reason I can recall that distinctly is because him and his team reached out to me the night after I won my first World Heavyweight Championship in the Road 2 Redemption Extreme Elimination Chamber.
( We see scattered images of stories from wrestling dirt sheets indicating Scrappy denying contract offers to Extreme Answers Wrestling, healing from injuries, dealing with personal tragedies and refusing to comment on when he’d be seen in the ring again. )
Impact (confessional): I almost thought it was a joke, I didn’t even believe it was really him reaching out to me asking if I could train him. Of course I had a little bit of warranted skepticism at the time. All you could hear about was how this promising guy threw his career away, didn’t wanna wrestle anymore, all types of rumors.
( We see images of Impact and Tyler together in 2009 and 2010, spending time training and developing a bond. )
Impact (voiceover): I was admittedly a bit dismissive of the guy at first, until I got a chance to have a full on meeting of the minds and get inside his head. That’s when I learned about how much pressure he put on himself to be successful. So much of it reminded me of myself.
Stew-O (confessional): Just from talking to the people who were close to Tyler Parker around that time, it was clear that the only reason he went missing from 2008-2010 was because of his own volition. HE did not feel he was ready to compete in an EAW ring.
Impact (confessional): It really spoke to me, it spoke volumes about how seriously takes his own name. His reputation meant more to him than anything in his world, how could you not admire that?
( We get images of the news breaking of “Scrappy singing with EAW” under the new name, “Mainstream” Tyler Parker. We also see scattered speculation from pundits, leading into clips from his EAW debut against Superior Quality 85 on an episode of Turbo in October, 2010 where he emerged victorious. )
Superior Quality 85 (confessional): You could see it in the bloke’s eyes. The hunger. It immediately stood out to me not just upon our first confrontation, but during the duration of our entire rivalry.
Deadprez (confessional): I think people were cautiously optimistic probably. He looked damn good in his return/debut. Then he goes to Showdown and defeats Ronn Banks. Yes, Ronn Banks.
( Highlights show Tyler Parker’s winning performance against Ronn Banks on an episode of Showdown. )
Deadprez (voiceover): Then that optimism turns into full-on culture shock.
( We view flashbacks of Tyler Parker entering No Regards 2010 against Superior Quality 85, “Sick” Drake Blake and SG2 in a Fatal Four Way match for the Interwire Championship. )
“Deadprez: ACROSS THE PARK!!! THE SPINNING FACEBUSTER IS CONNECTED WITH PERFECTION AS PARKER QUICKLY DROPS DOWN FOR THE PIN!!!”
“Ring Announcer: The winner of this match… and the NEWWWWWW…. INTERWIRE CHAMPIONNNN…. “MAINSTREAM” TYYYYLERRRRRRR… PARRRKERRRRRRRRRR!!!”
“Deadprez: WOW!! THE ROOKIE TYLER PARKER IS THE NEW CHAMPION!!! THE NEWEST INTERWIRE CHAMPION AS HE DEFEATS SG2, SUPERIOR QUALITY 85 AND DRAKE THE MAN BLAKE!!”
Stew-O (confessional): So now it looks like wrestling’s prodigal son has returned and is, in essence, here to stay.
( We see Tyler Parker accepting the award for “Next Up In 2011” during the 2010 EAW Awards show. We also saw Tyler Parker retaining his Interwire Championship at King of Extreme in a submission match. )
Deadprez (confessional): You couldn’t tell me or really anybody that this guy wasn’t the future.
HRDO (confessional): I retired from full time competition in 2010 knowing that EAW would be in good hands with guys like him. Most people believed 2011 would become the year of Tyler Parker. Unfortunately, fate had… other plans.
( On an episode of Showdown in early 2011, Tyler Parker would be turned on by his friend Kawajai and his accomplice, Power, who unleashed a brutal attack on him. This would force Tyler Parker out of action and put him on the shelf indefinitely. We would see fans reacting in shock and sadness as Tyler Parker had to be carried out of the arena, and subsequent articles reported Tyler Parker suffering a broken neck injury. )
Stew-O (confessional): I was the first to learn that Tyler Parker had suffered a serious neck injury, and there were even talks of it being stenosis of the spine which of course would mean that Tyler could never compete again.
( We view images of Tyler Parker undergoing surgery, and having to recover as a result. )
Impact (voiceover): That period for Tyler, the year and 9 months he had to spend away from the ring, were probably the hardest years of his life in all honesty.
EAW Dr. James Andrews (confessional): As a medical professional I was very blunt with him, I saw no clear path towards an in-ring return. Certainly if a return were to occur, it would involve rigorous rehabilitation.
HRDO (confessional): These were tumultuous times for him… and I think that reflected in his temperament as a result. Tyler’s a guy who is so passionate, it can sometimes consume him. He had a lot of issues with his anger, and he butted heads with just about everybody in his life – especially the top brass.
( Scattered headlines are shown, including “Major falling out between Tyler Parker and EAW Management” and “Tyler Parker released from Extreme Answers Wrestling”. )
Deadprez (confessional): I didn’t become the guy’s best buddy or anything, but I did keep in touch with him in his time away from the company after he had gotten fired in the Summer of 2011. And I just told him “Look man, it really don’t matter how far in the hole you think that you are, you either are going to compete in the squared circle again or you aren’t. It’s really that simple. The only way for you to see to it that you do return is if you go after it with tunnel vision. Block out all the noise and get to damn work.” And of course that’s eventually what he did, which is why we’re even talking about him right now.
( We get highlights of Tyler Parker making his long awaited EAW return in late October of 2012, defeating Carlos Rosso in the main event of Turbo. We would see his tag team run with Charlie Scene as a tag team named “Synergy”, where he consistently impressed in matches – often making his matches the highlights of the show. We end up seeing Tyler Parker lead his team to victory at the 2013 EAW Finale event, defeating Alex Anderson, Jacob Senn and Prince of Phenomenal. The next week on Showdown we’d see Parker win a battle royal to earn a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship. )
Andy Dominguez (confessional): I think the consistency Tyler Parker showed following his return in 2012 and leading into 2013 gave a lot of us reason to invest in him again. But what really showed me, personally, that something had changed in that young man was the classic match he had at Midsummer Massacre against Zack Crash for the World Heavyweight Title.
( We see back and forth action at MSM 2013 between Tyler Parker and Zack Crash, where Tyler came up short due to a small package off the top turnbuckle sealing the contest. Following the contest, Tyler Parker received a standing ovation from the entire audience. )
“WWEFan (on commentary): Tyler looks disappointed in his efforts tonight, but he definitely shouldn’t be by any stretch of the imagination. He and Zack Crash laid it all out on the line tonight for the World Heavyweight Championship and they beat the Hell out of one another and they put each other through one of the toughest and most hellacious contests I’ve ever seen.”
Mr. DEDEDE (confessional): Here was a guy who had poured every ounce of his soul and every last drop of energy he had into getting back in the ring, and that night he showed the world that it was exactly where he belonged. But I wasn’t convinced.
( The following week on Showdown, Tyler Parker is seen trying to re-establish an alliance with himself and Mr. DEDEDE, only to be rejected. )
Mr. DEDEDE (voiceover): He may have won most of the world over, but I still had doubts. Rightfully so. Here was this guy with a history of anger issues, a history of injuries, a history of inconsistency. I didn’t give a damn about his talent, I didn’t care that he was trained by the two greatest Elitists of all time. I told him to his face in 2011 that he was a disappointment and a failure, and that he’d never live up to his hype. To regain my respect, he had to EARN it. And he earned it in spades.
( We see highlights of the story between Tyler Parker and Mr. DEDEDE, where Tyler Parker defeated him cleanly on the Showdown following Midsummer Massacre. He would earn DDDs trust also align with Mr. DEDEDE to feud with The House of Renegades, and enter battle alongside DDD in Territorial Invasion for a 5 on 5 contest against Scott Diamond’s team. This match would hold high importance with the fate of EAW at stake, as if Scott won he would remain EAW Chairman and DEDEDE’s entire team would be erased from EAW history. Tyler Parker contributed greatly to Team DEDEDE’s victory, however, following the TI match DDD completely turned his back on him by siding with The House of Renegades. This led way to the main event of the first ever “Shock Value” FPV in an Electrified Cage match known as the ‘High Voltage Match’. Tyler Parker vs. Mr. DEDEDE. Highlights of this MOTY candidate are shown, including Tyler Parker powerbombing Mr. DEDEDE through the canvas. )
HRDO (confessional): Every time Tyler Parker competed with DDD, it signified a bookmark to the next chapter of his career. The victory heard ’round the world in 2007 was what put him on the map, but that High Voltage match was – to me – the birth of a legend.
“Mak: TYLER PARKER RISES FROM THAT GAPING HOLE IN THE RING!! HE’S GOT DDD!! TYLER PARKER’S GOT DDD IN HIS GRASP AS HE DRAGS BOTH MEN BACK THROUGH THAT HOLE!! DDD DOESN’T SEEM TO HAVE A PRAYER HERE! TYLER’S DRAGGING HIM BACK UP! ACROSS THE PARK!!!! TYLER DRILLS DDD INTO THE CANVAS WITH THE ACROSS THE PARK AS CRAWLS OVER TO HIS BODY… HE ROLLS HIM OVER!! THERE’S THE COVER!!!”
“Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!…….. TWO!!!!!!!!!!!……….. THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
( We follow up with Road to Redemption 2013, where Tyler Parker defeated five other Extremists to win the World Heavyweight Championship for the first time in his career. )
Chris Elite (confessional): I won’t even lie to you, knowing all the shit Tyler Parker had to deal with, had to go through just to even be in an EAW ring. And then seeing him win that World Heavyweight chip? That inspired me. DDD vs Tyler was a blassic in it of itself, but then seeing him go on to become champion lit a fire under me. I don’t know if I’d be a World Champion or Gawd Contract holder if I didn’t see that for myself. It proved that if he could do it, with all he went through, then so could I.
( We continue with Tyler’s meteoric success, including Reasonable Doubt 2014 where he defeated GI Styles for the National Extreme Title to become the first ever person to hold the World Heavyweight Championship and National Extreme Championship at the same time. We then see Tyler Parker retain the National Extreme Title at Pain for Pride 7 against his mentor, Impact; securing the first Pain for Pride victory of his career. )
Impact (confessional): At the time I wasn’t sure if I’d continue my in-ring career following that event. I knew for certain that if I couldn’t beat Parker, I’d have no choice but to hand the torch to him. He had to prove to me, and to over 100,000 fans in MIchigan Stadium that night that he had what it took to be the “quintessential successor”, and he ended up doing just that.
( We get more footage from the post-match of Impact vs Tyler Parker. )
“Stew: What an absolutely phenomenal match by two of the greatest competitors to have ever stepped foot in an EAW ring!”
“Stew: Tyler Parker did exactly as he said he was going to do here tonight at Pain For Pride!”
HRDO (confessional): In some respects the run he had been on was unprecedented. It set a whole new formula for the likes of Jamie O’Hara, Chris Elite, Kassidy Heart, Rex McAllister, and some of the other current faces of the company to run with.
( We see 2014 continue with Tyler Parker retaining his National Extreme title over and over again for the span of seven months. We also see him help Team Crash defeat Team DEDEDE at Territorial Invasion, stealing the show in the match. )
Stew-O (confessional): I still get goosebumps thinking about King of Elite in Athens, Tyler Parker’s final encounter with Mr. DEDEDE, “One More Round”.
( We see highlights of the King of Elite 2015 bout between DDD and Parker, ending with Tyler Parker breaking out of the Meth Lock with pure strength, and delivering five “Across The Parks” in a row in order to win the World Heavyweight Championship via TKO. )
“Stew: THE RAGE OF TYLER PARKER HAS WON HIM HIS 2ND WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! AND THANKFULLY, IT’S OVER! WHAT AN EXPLOSION!”
Stew-O (voiceover): By that point I began asking myself if we were looking at the greatest Elitist of all time.
( Officials come to the aide of an unconscious Mr. DEDEDE, and Tyler Parker struggles to his feet. He stares at his newly won gold and raises it for all to see )
Deadprez (voiceover): There was no touching Tyler Parker whatsoever, it was as if he could do no wrong.
Michael Lanza (confessional): I’m watching Tyler Parker’s second run as World Heavyweight Champion, and I’m literally thinking to myself: “not only is this the Face of EAW, this is the best ever.”
( We see 2015 play out and his World Heavyweight Championship continue with him retaining his title against Psycho Brody on an episode of Dynasty, Jacob Senn at Reckless Wiring, Lucian Black at Grand Rampage, and then defeating EAW Champion Xavier Williams AND Answers World Champion Starr Stan at ‘Triple Threat’ to be named “Champion of Champions.” )
Starr Stan (confessional): I still don’t know if I’ve ever been in the ring with a more advanced competitor than Parker. The guy had everything. Unbelievably agile. Perfect execution. Damn near superhuman strength. If you built a wrestler from the ground up, with the intentions of creating “the perfect wrestler”, it was fucking Tyler Parker.
( We see more success from 2015, including Tyler Parker defeating Jaywalker at House of Glass in a Glass Deathmatch. We see Tyler Parker helping lead Team Dynasty to a War Games victory over Team EAW at Territorial Invasion – marking the third TI in a row where he brought a team to victory. We also get highlights of Tyler Parker’s Pain for Pride 8 contest against Alex Anderson, where he went on to retain the World Heavyweight Championship to thunderous fanfare with a sold out Wembley Stadium hanging on Tyler’s every last move. )
“Stew: GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!! WHAT A WAR! WHAT A BATTLE!!! THIS IS MORE THAN I EVER WOULD HAVE EXPECTED! THIS MATCH WILL BE REMEMBERED FOREVER AS AN AMAZING CONTEST, BUT TYLER PARKER IS WALKING OUT AS STILL THE EAW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!”
“Deadprez: TYLER PARKER WAS THE BETTER MAN SO TYLER PARKER IS WALKING OUT OF LONDON STILL AS YOUR EAW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!”
Mr. DEDEDE (confessional): I asked Tyler personally if I could honor him at the Hall of Fame awards that year, because no bullshit, that induction was as big for EAW as it was for him.
( We see Tyler Parker accept his Hall of Fame ring at the 2015 HOF celebration. We then see Tyler Parker involved in various feuds and high profile matches, being Elimination Chambers, Glass Walls matches, War Games bouts and grudge matches spanning from 2016-2017. Many of these were valiant efforts, but losing efforts. )
HRDO (confessional): Tyler Parker has experienced success beyond his own wildest dreams, as I’m sure he would tell you. It’s why this match between him and Jamie O’Hara needed to happen.
( We get a video montage of Tyler Parker and Jamie O’Hara’s best moments, holding up championships, electrifying crowds and selling out stadiums. )
Starr Stan (voiceover): You take arguably the two men who account for leading the company brand as household names for over the last six years or so. The two guys who know what it’s like to be the number 1 athletes in this organization. The two highest standards we’ve ever seen Elitists how towards themselves.
Stew-O (voiceover): The Battle of Egypt contest will answer many questions. It is a dream scenario match up, a video game match up, a fantasy being entertained in real life and in living color.
Deadprez (voiceover): We all know Jamie O’Hara is the man, we know his pedigree because we see it on display every week. But there’s an entire generation of Elitists and fans alike who are going to see for themselves what a transcendent icon that Tyler Parker truly is.
Michael Lanza (voiceover): Regardless of who is victorious between O’Hara and Parker, the fans ultimately win in the end
HRDO (voiceover): We are going to see history unfold before our very eyes. Two of the most extraordinary talents in the history of this sport, two unique skill sets, yet men of similar esteem. Both all time greats, Hall of Famers, multiple time World Champions. And the incentive has never been more clear for Tyler Parker. Victory could be an emphatic mark to another incredible chapter in the time tested journey of Tyler Parker. Who knows.. possibly his greatest chapter yet.
( End. )
(Commercial break promoting Jamie O’Hara versus Tyler Parker at Battle of Egypt.)
(Camera opens to Gina Romano inside the ring as the raucous crowd is ecstatic for the blue brand.)
Gina Romano: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a tag team match and is scheduled for…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!
(“Cards” by Rick Rude begins to play as Sonny Saxton steps out onto the ramp, looking primed for his matchup. He poses there for a moment before his music is replaced by “I Love It Loud (Wolf Howl Intro)” by Kiss as he is joined on the stage by Shaker Jones. Both fist bump before making their way down towards the ring.)
Gina Romano: Introducing first, making their way to the ring at a combined weight of 433 pounds… the team of SONNY SAXTON AND SHAKER JONES!!!
Gavin Kirkland: BOOOO! BRING OUT THE TITTIES!! O’HARA ABDOMINALS ARE ALSO ACCEPTABLE!!
Eve: Ummm… wow…
Deadprez: And you thought dealing with me was hard at time last year, Eve. But Sonny and Shaker are both looking to make a big mark here tonight with their opportunity in this match. Both are singles competitors but they have a chance to shake the tag team division from its very core this week.
(Shaker and Sonny slide into the ring as the music fades and is replaced by “No More” by Disturbed as Heavenly Hell take the stage. Minerva and Constance Blevins walk out with their Unified Tag Team Championships around their waists. The pair pose briefly on the stage before beginning to saunter down to the ring.)
Gina Romano: And their opponents… making their way to the ring at a combined weight of 245 pounds… they are the EAW Unified Tag Team Champions… the team of Constance Blevins and Minerva… HEAVENLY HELL!!!
Gavin Kirkland: WOOOOOO! TEAM GOTH TITTIES TO SAVE THE DAY!!
Eve: I… just… what the hell is wrong with you?
Deadprez: Oh we way past that, Eve. But the champs are here and they’ve been looking to make a statement for weeks. They’ve not appreciated the way they’ve been treated as the tag champs and are here to prove they are indeed still the top team in the tag division!
(Constance and Minerva both climb up and into the ring, pausing on the apron to pose together and hold the championships high in the air before taking their positions in the corner.)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Eve: And we are underway here with this tag team matchup! Looks like we’re going to start with Minerva and Shaker Jones here in this contest! Both meet in the middle of the ring and Shaker looking to use his size advantage as best he can! Minerva is talented in that ring so Shaker better make every move count! He tries to push her back by the shoulders and begins to drive her back into the corner! BUT MINERVA TWISTS OUT AND SHOVES SHAKER FROM BEHIND! HE GOES HEAD FIRST INTO THE TURNBUCKLES! MINERVA ROLLS HIM UP FROM BEHIND!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO—
Deadprez: BUT A KICKOUT FROM SHAKER! He got caught off guard but now he rolls to his feet and tries to shake the cobwebs out! Minerva rushes in! She leaps in with a running knee! BUT SHAKER CATCHES HER! POWERBOMB FROM THE BIG MAN AND HE DRIVES ONE HALF OF THE TAG CHAMPS INTO THE MAT! AND SHAKER RUSHES THE CORNER! HE NAILS CONSTANCE WITH A FOREARM TO THE FACE AND KNOCKS HER OFF THE APRON! HE TURNS BACK TO MINERVA AND TAKES OFF! RUNNING SENTON CRASHES HIS ENTIRE WEIGHT ACROSS MINERVA’S STERNUM! SHAKER MAKES THE COVER!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO—
Eve: NO! Just short of a two count as Minerva still has a lot left in her! She pulls herself to her feet, clutching at her ribs as she took the full brunt of that senton! But she’s still fighting! Shaker rushes her though! Trying to take advantage while he can! The Canadian Werewolf on the attack! He grabs Minerva quickly and hoists her up! Gutwrench suplex drives Minerva back into the canvas! Shaker reaches down and looks to repeat the process! He wraps his arms around Minerva’s waist as he tries to hoist her back up again— BUT MINERVA BREAKS FREE! SHE LEAPS UP AND GRABS SHAKER BY THE HEAD! SHE PULLS HIM DOWN FOR A SINGLE KNEE FACEBREAKER! SHAKER FLOPS BACK TO THE MAT AND HE IS STUNNED! MINERVA NOW ROLLS ON TOP OF HIM AND LOOKING TO MAKE IT COUNT! UNLOADING WITH FOREARMS TO THE FACE OF SHAKER! CONSTANCE BLEVINS IS BACK UP ON THE APRON NOW AS WELL! BUT MINERVA HAS FULL CONTROL AS SHE NOW STANDS AND STOMPS I TO THE CHEST OF JONES!
Gavin Kirkland: Minerva is amazing, isn’t she? Those gorgeous gypsy gems that she—
Eve: Dude. Stop.
Deadprez: But Minerva has now pulled herself up to the top rope! MOONSAULT! IT CONNECTS RIGHT ACROSS SHAKER’S TORSO! THIS COULD BE IT!
Ref: ONEEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THR—
Deadprez: But Shaker powers out at two! Minerva not looking like she’s done though! She ascends the ropes again! Looking for round two! ANOTHER MOONSAULT!
Eve: BUT RIGHT INTO THE KNEES OF SHAKER JONES! MINERVA CRASHED HARD AND THOSE RIBS HAVE TO BE HURTING! SHE JUST LAYS THERE ON TOP OF SHAKER AND CLUTCHING HER MIDSECTION! SHAKER GRABS HER FROM UNDERNEATH AND HEAVES HER BACKWARDS! Minerva sent to the side and she rolls away— BUT SHE ROLLS RIGHT OVER TO HER CORNER AND REACHES UP FOR THE TAG! CONSTANCE BLEVINS IS IN!
Deadprez: BUT SHAKER DIDNT SEE THE TAG! CONSTANCE RUNS IN! SHOTGUN DROPKICK RIGHT TO THE CHEST OF JONES JUST AS HE GOT TO HIS FEET! JONES IS KNOCKED BACK ONTO THE CORNER AND CONSTANCE RUSHES IN! SHE BEGINS TO UNLOAD WITH A FLURRY OF FISTS RIGHT INTO SHAKER’S FACE! SHOT AFTER SHOT! BUT HERE COMES THE REFEREE!
Eve: NO! WAIT! LOOK! NO NEED FOR THE REFEREE! SHAKER STILL USING THAT MASSIVE SIZE ADVANTAGE AND LIFTS CONSTANCE UP! DRIVING HER BACKWARDS! A MASSIVE SPINEBUSTER TO BLEVINS! CONSTANCE LANDED HARD! BUT SHAKER DOES NOT MAKE THE COVER! HE DRAGS HIMSELF TOWARDS HIS CORNER! HES TAKEN SOME SHOTS AND NEEDS A BREATHER! LOOKING TO GET SONNY SAXTON INTO THIS CONTEST!
Gavin Kirkland: Heh. Kid doesn’t stand a chance against the Goth Queens
Eve: Do you love them or objectify them? You make no sense to me.
Gavin Kirkland: Get used to it, babydoll.
Deadprez: TAG MADE! SONNY SAXTON INTO THIS MATCHUP! Sonny looking to pick up where Shaker left off! He grabs Constance by the leg and— UPKICK! UPKICK TO THE JAW BY CONSTANCE! SHE WAS PLAYING DEAD THE WHOLE TIME! SONNY IS STUNNED! BUT CONSTANCE ROLLS OVER TO HER KNEES AND DRIVES HERSELF FORWARD! CHOP BLOCK TO THE BACK OF THE KNEE BRINGS SONNY DOWN! AND SHE WRAPS HIM UP BY THE LEGS! THE CLOVERLEAF! CONSTANCE HAS HER MODIFIED CLOVERLEAF APPLIED! SONNY IS IN PAIN! CAN THE KID HOLD OUT?
Eve: Shaker looking to get back in and— BUT MINERVA FROM BEHIND! SHE YANKS SHAKER OFF THE APRON AND CAUSES HIS HEAD TO BOUNCE OFF THE RING APRON! SONNY IS ALL ALONE!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Deadprez: SONNY TAPPED OUT!
Gina Romano: Here are your winners… the EAW Unified Tag Team Champions… HEAVENLY HELL!!!
Gavin Kirkland: TEAM TITTIES WINS!
Eve: An impressive victory tonight for the champions! Making quick work by going toe to toe with someone literally twice their size in Shaker Jones and taking advantage of the inexperience of Sonny Saxton! And did you see how quick Minerva was to get in position to keep Shaker our? These two know how to operate! They’re the tag champs for a reason!
Deadprez: This is a solid win for them going into next week against Andrea Valentine and Ms. Extreme. That is going to be a matchup to keep an eye on without a doubt.
(Shaker and Sonny try to recover in the ring as “No More” is playing over the speakers. Constance and Minerva are making their way back up the ramp, both hoisting the tag titles high in the air.)
(The scene fades into a dark room, which has been surrounded by brick walls. In the center of the room, there’s a wrestling ring. Most notably, there is the symbol for El Rey, who Santo Muerte follows and does everything he can to carry on his teaching into EAW. It’s been quite a while since we’ve seen Santo Muerte on Showdown. Sure, he made appearances on Dynasty and Territorial Invasion, but the last time that he found himself on Showdown, Viktor Stone pinned him in a Triple Threat Match. Since Territorial Invasion, El Rey has been putting Santo through torturous training sessions and displayed his violent teachings. He is hoping that it will be enough for Santo to bring a more violent and aggressive side to him.)
(The camera stops on Santo Muerte where he is in the middle of his training session. Santo connects with a hip toss on a fellow follower of El Rey. Santo rushes forward and delivers one of the harshest shoot kicks onto this follower’s back. A shriek of pain gets heard, which echoes throughout the darkroom. The only source of light seems to be inside the ring. Santo lifts the follower back to his two feet before Irish whipping him to the ropes. The follower rebounds from the ropes; however, Santo manages to get him into position before connecting with a German suplex. Not wasting any time, he delivers a devastating looking big boot to the follower’s face. Santo gets the follower into position before connecting with a Death Valley Destroyer, a front flip piledriver. The follower seems dead at this point, but Santo gets the follower into place for The Offering, a grounded hammerlock, and an inverted armbreaker combination. Santo is seconds away from snapping the follower’s arm back.)
Follower: Please Santo Muerte, I’m begging you! Please show mercy!
(The follower looks like he is almost breaking down in tears, fearful for his life.)
Santo Muerte: No mercy.
(With that, Santo Muerte snaps the arm back as we hear a giant popping sound. The follower breaks down in tears as Santo Muerte looks back at him with no emotion at all on his face. The follower rolls out of the ring as he clutches his arm in pain, leaving Santo in the ring by himself. Santo drops to his knees in the center of the ring and bows his head to the El Rey symbol. Santo quietly talks to the symbol as the audio doesn’t manage to pick it up. After a few moments, Santo’s head pops back up as he looks directly at the camera.)
Santo Muerte: I’ve been slighted and overlooked because of the words I speak. I’ve talked down about the utter demise of this company, and in response, they have attempted to bury me into the ground. They believe that this would be the only way to silence me and make sure that my message doesn’t get heard. They thought they could silence me; however, it was only temporary. They won’t silence me. They won’t hide me from this world. EAW believes that they had me under control, but El Rey has kept me from fading into the background and become an afterthought on this brand. The notion that I have been selected as the man to give El Rey a voice is more than an honor. I couldn’t do that in the state that I was in and disgrace him. I couldn’t be the voice El Rey wants me to be if I’m in wars that I’m above. I want to make an impact against any opponent that stands in my way, and I could have sat in the sidelines at Territorial Invasion, but I looked at any opportunity to display my violent nature and establish that no one escapes or cheats death. It doesn’t matter if you’re the bottom of the barrel like Eric Havoc or a Unified Tag Team Champion like Minerva, no one escapes death. I’ve been here for a while now, and my EAW run has been mediocre. It hasn’t been something that El Rey would be proud of me. El Rey would be disappointed in me. After Territorial Invasion, I spoke to El Rey about what I needed to do next to promote what he has preached to me. With defeat becoming a recurring thing for me, I contemplated on whether I remained devoted to him or left him. I’m not a lost cause, and I shouldn’t consider walking away from him.
Santo Muerte: For the past couple of weeks, this is where I have spent my days and nights. El Rey has put me through some of the most gruesome training sessions. His teachings have become more violent, and he has whipped me back into shape. El Rey has wanted to test me and my loyalty towards him. Each training session has become more tortuous than the last one. It has provided me with many scars and bruises around my body, but I refuse to fall and let him down. At this point, I have become immune to the injuries and scars. My devotion to him remains unwavering and I stay loyal to him. I vowed that I refuse ever to doubt him again. I will not allow myself to challenge how power and presence in me. The next time I appear on Showdown, you will be in the presence of a more violent and brutal Santo Muerte. You will all learn first hand on why they call me “The Saint of Death.” Man or woman, young or old, Gawd or Ace, no one can escape from death, and it waits for no one.
Santo Muerte: Most importantly, it will show no mercy.
(Santo Muerte finishes talking as he holds an intense glare at the camera before it fades to commercial break.)
(Commercial for Ms. Extreme’s new line of baseball bats. Featuring the innovative loop at the bottom to attach the beginning of a barbed wire strand. Get your today, kids!)
(Showdown returns from commercial break as “Just ‘Cos You Got The Power” by Motorhead begins to play through the speakers as the PURE Champion, Mark Michaels walks out in a dapper suit, brandishing his title over the shoulder. The crowd boos and lays it on him as he walks down confidently to the announce boot with a smirk on his face after the confrontation he had with Jake Smith.)
Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…PLEASE WELCOME AT THIS TIME…THE ELITE ANSWERS WRESTLING PURE CHAMPION… “THE LETHAL INJECTION” MARK MICHAELS!
(Michaels makes his way to the announce table, he shakes Gavin Kirkland’s hand, then Deadprez, finally kisses Eve’s hand before sitting down with the PURE Championship over his shoulder.)
Deadprez: Welcome Mark Michaels, the Pure Champion is here with us.
Mark Michaels: The pleasure is all yours. Thank you.
Gavin Kirkland: We are in the presence of greatness and now I don’t feel like I have to carry these two throughout the match, thanks for being out here Champ.
Mark Michaels: Anything I can do to make your life easier, Gavin, shall we get this party started?
Eve: Yes we should, it’s going to he a tremendous match here tonight and a chance to scout one of the Elite athletes in the EAW, Jake Smith.
Mark Michaels: Psht…
(“Wolves ov Siberia” by Behemoth begins to play throughout the arena as Shane Gates starts to walk out accompanied by Angela Grant. The crowd is booing him as Angela Grant is screaming them for doing so, leading him down to the ring as he doesn’t even look at the fans.)
Gina Romano: The following contest is Scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
Gina Romano: Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Angela Grant, from Huntington Beach, California, weighing in at 213 pounds…. “THE FN’ DYNASTY”…..SHANE GATES!!!
(Angels holds the ropes open for him as Shane Gates steps in, climbing the second rope, he raises his arms as the crowd boos him some more.)
Deadprez: A very impressive Shane Gates and he looks ready to take on Jake Smith. He was definitely not a loss for words this week on promo TV.
Gavin Kirkland: And rightly so, this is his opportunity to make some waves and cause Jake to stumble which probably will happen anyway in the presence of the champ.
Eve: We also must remember the X-Factor, Angela Grant, she can make a difference.
Mark Michaels: Jake ran his mouth about Gates, he ran his mouth about me, lets see if he can back up any of it.
(Strobe lights flash everywhere as “Here We Go” By Sleeping With Sirens plays to thunderous boos from the crowd. Jake Smith comes out as charismatic as he can he as slicks his hair back and talks to the camera, presumably about the match or his opponent.)
Gina Romano: His opponent! Hails from Venice Beach, California! Weighing in at 210 pounds…. “The MIGHTIEST ONE” …. JAKE SMITH!!!
(He enters the ring before taking a spin and raising his arms in the air as the crowd starts to jeer. He makes his way to his corner and lays on the top turnbuckle as “Here We Go” fades off, turning and looking at Gates before Michaels catching his eye and pointing to him. Mark Michaels stands up and holds up the PURE Championship.)
Mark Michaels: You can’t have this! I’m right here! Come try so I can embarrass you!
Deadprez: Michaels and Smith are talking smack before the match even begins. It has carried over from last week and getting heated quick!
Eve: It sure is and Jake Smith better concentrate on the man that is in the ring right now or he will get caught.
Gavin Kirkland: The champ is a distraction already!
(Jake Smith is start jaw jacking with Mark Michaels that he doesn’t realize Shane Gates rolls him up in a School Boy with a handful of tights as the referee calls for the start of the match.)
(DING! DING! DING!)
(The referee drops for the cover.)
Deadprez: JAKE KICKS OUT! THIS MATCH WAS ALMOST OVER! GATES CAUGHT SMITH FROM BEHIND!
Gavin Kirkland: His opponent is IN the ring, not out here with us!
Eve: He also had a handful of tights! Shane Gates is not working by the hour here!
Mark Michaels: Idiot, serves him right.
(The Crowd Roars)
Deadprez: Jake is back up, Shane hits him with a forearm, he has Jake on his heels, playa, not even allowing him to get out of the box! Irish Whip on Jake, Gates follows through with a discus Elbow flush on the jaw! Jake is staggering! Her comes Shane with a clothesline…. NO! Jake ducks, a right hook! Then another! And another! Gates is in trouble now! Against the ropes!
Mark Michaels: Those are closed fists and the referee needs to do his job!
Eve: Jake backs up and CLOTHESLINE OVER THE TOP ROPE! SHANE GATES HITS HARD AND ANGELA GRANT WITH SOME CONCERN CHECKING ON HIM!
Gavin Kirkland: What is Jake doing? He is going after Gates! He buts in, Angela backs up and WATCH OUT!!!!
(The referee starts to count…)
(Jake Smith throws Shane Gates over the announcer’s table just as Eve, Deadprez, Gavin Kirkland and Mark Michaels were able to get out of the way.)
(Jake Smith turns right to the face of Michaels as they start to curse each other out, Deadprez, Eve and Gavin Kirkland grab their headsets back on….)
Deadprez: GATES IS ON THE FLOOR RIGHT IN FRONT OF US! OUR STUFF IS EVERYWHERE! JAKE SMITH THREW GATES ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE AND NOW HE IS HAVING A CONFRONTATION WITH MARK MICHAELS!
Eve: He needs to remember that Gates doesn’t play by the rules either and he will find a way to get back in this especially if he keeps turning his attention toward Mark!
Gavin Kirkland: Gates could be hurt! Wait…. Here comes Jake Smith! He is grabbing Gates right in front of us, a few stiff forearms, he throws him back in the ring breaking the referee’s count! Jake is now on the apron, wait Angela grant grabs his leg! HE kicks her off but Gates with a boot!
Deadprez: He suplexes Jake Smith back in the ring! And rolls over for a quick pin!
Eve: KICK OUT BY JAKE AND NOW GATES WANST O END THIS QUICKLY! HE ROLLS THE HAIR OF SMITH IN HIS HAND! OH GOD! SNAPMARE BY THE HAIR! HE ROLLS HIM OVER, ANOTHER SNAPMARE BY THE HAIR! WAIT… ONE MORE AND FOLLOWED WITH A BULLET2HEAD ON JAKE SMITH! THE REFEREE GOES FOR THE COVER!
Deadprez: KICK OUT BY JAKE SMITH! THAT WAS CLOSE!
Eve: Gates is in control and you have to go back to the distractions surrounding this match!
Mark Michaels: Deadprez, Jake wants to be a tough guy? He wants to challenge me and get in my face? Well, this is what happens then!
Gavin Kirkland: I agree! This is the man who will challenge for the PURE Championship! Right now Shane Gates is taking him to school!
Deadprez: Gates picks up Jake by the hair, Irish Whipping him against the turnbuckle! Gates charges in but Jake gets his boot up! Gates is stumbling back, Jake roars out of the corner WITH A SUPERKICK! GATES IS DOWN BUT JAKE ISN’T MAKING A COVER!
Eve: He is hurt and probably doesn’t even know where he’s at! That Superkick was out of pure instinct! Jake is now crawling on Gates for the cover!
Gavin Kirkland: GATES GETS A SHOULDER UP! That little bit of missed time was the difference and Shane Gates is still in this match!
Eve: Jake is getting up, Gates is trying to get up as well, Jake sees Gates to his knee…. He runs at him, SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT! GATES IS OUT! JAKE AGAIN GOES FOR THE COVER!
Mark Michaels: COME ON!
Deadprez: NO! ANGELA GRABBED GATES LEG AND DRAPED IT OVER THE ROPES! SHE JUST SAVED SHANE GATES IN THIS MATCH! JAKE IS LOOKING AROUND BUT HE IS NOT STOPPING!
Eve: He grabs Gates back up to his feet, wait… Angela is up on the apron! The referee turns and Gates with a LOW BLOW ON JAKE SMITH! JAKE IS CRUMBLING … GATES HITS THE DEAD MAN!
Gavin Kirkland: THIS ONE IS OVER! LOW BLOW INTO A SITOUT POWERBOMB!
Mark Michaels: Serves him right!
(The Crowd boos, Angela drops down to the floor as the referee turns quickly and sees the cover.)
Deadprez: NOOOO! JAKE SMITH GOT THE SHOULDER UP JUST IN TIME! GATES IS BESIDE HIMSELF! HOLDING UP TWO FINGERS BUT THE REFEREE IS SCREAMING NO! ONLY TWO!
Eve: WOW! WE ALL THOUGHT GATES HAD IT! THE LOW BLOW< THE DEAD MAN! JAKE IS STILL IN THE MATCH!
Gavin Kirkland: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! IT WAS A SLOW COUNT! IT WAS A SLOW COUNT! JAKE SMITH BARELY WAS ABLE TO GET HIS SHOULDER UP!
Mark Michaels: WHERE THE HELL DID THEY GET THIS OFFICIAL!?
(Gates argues with the referee, Angela slams the mat in frustration as the crowd throws a mix of cheers and boos.)
Gavin Kirkland: Shane needs to let this go, he is livid right now and allowing Jake to recover!
Eve: Jake is getting back to his feet; Gates turns and grabs Jake…. CALIFORNIAN DESTRUCTION! NO!
Deadprez: JAKE GETS OUT OF IT! FLOAT OVER, GATES TURNS AROUND RIGHT INTO A KICK TO THE GUT AND A RIDE TO HELL!
Eve: RIDE TO HELL!
Gavin Kirkland: ANGELA IS BESIDE HERSELF!
Mark Michaels: Damn it!
Deadprez: JAKE SMITH COVERS GATES!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(The crowd roars, some boo as the referee calls for the bell and Jake rolls off as Angela checks on Gates as he starts rolling out of the ring.)
Gina Romano: THE WINNER OF THE MATCH…… THE MIGHTIEST ONE….. JAAAAKKKKEEEEE SSSSSMMMMIIIITTTTHHHHHH!
(The referee raises the arm of Jake Smith who holds his neck. “Here We Go” starts playing throughout the arena.)
Deadprez: What a match playa! Jake Smith earned that one on his way to Battle in Egypt!
Eve: He fought off some early distractions and was able to get a huge win here tonight over a game and focused Shane Gates!
Gavin Kirkland: He was lucky.
Mark Michaels: Yeah…. And his luck has run out.
(Mark takes off the headset and leaves the booth with the PURE Championship. Sliding into the ring.)
Deadprez: Mark Michaels!? Where the hell are you going!?
Eve: Jake doesn’t even know Michaels is in the ring…..
(Jake turns around and Mark Michaels HITS Jake with the title in the face.)
Eve: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? MICHAELS JUST HIT JAKE IN THE FACE WITH THE PURE CHAMPIONSHIP!
Gavin Kirkland: HE ISN’T DONE! HE IS PLACING THE TITLE UNDER JAKE’S HEAD!
Eve: OH MY GOD… NO!
Deadprez: MARK MICHAELS GETS A RUNNING START FOR THE DOWNFALL! HE JUST CURB STOMPED JAKE SMITH ON THE TITLE AND HE’S LAID OUT! HE MAY HAVE A CONCUSSION!
(Mark Michaels grabs the mic as the music dies down, he stands over Jake, grabbing the PURE Championship. He crouches down to an already down Jake Smith before raising the microphone near his lips.)
Mark Michaels: Hey, Jake! How it’s nice to meet you! I’m aware that last week was an introduction of Jake Smith to me. However, this week was just a small introduction to who you’re dealing with at Battle of Egypt. I’m not like the rising stars that you’ve faced throughout your small career. I’m way better than the main event talent that you have smelled the air of. You should be honored that I am giving you the time of day because I really don’t have anything to prove to you, Jake. But, you got EVERYTHING to prove. You are going to Suez with everything to prove. You need to prove that you can be more than Drake King’s best friend. You need to prove that you can get things done by yourself. You need to prove that you’re even worth my fucking time in this match or I am going to crush you like I’ve crushed everyone in my path. Jake, you need to face the facts. You’re always going to be the bridesmaid. Never the bride. There is always going to be someone that is better than you. In your case, that’s me. This match almost seems like a huge slap to my face. Is this how you treat the PURE Champion? Jenny Punk was out of her mind to put you in front of me. I see you as nothing more than a statistic in my legendary championship reign. It’s about fucking time that you realize that and know your place.
(Jake Smith begins to rise off his back before looking at Mark Michaels and spitting at his face and muttering “Fuck you” at Mark. Mark clubs Jake with the microphone in his possession. Jake drops on his back again.)
Mark Michaels: You’re really a fucking idiot. I am going to look forward to knocking you down in Egypt. After I get through you, I’m breaking that record and writing myself in the history books. There is not a damn thing that anyone can do to stop that from happening. Not Mr. DEDEDE, Jenny Punk or HRDO and especially not you, Jake. In Egypt, I am going to make you my bitch.
(Mark Michaels drops the microphone as it makes a thumping noise. Mark raises the PURE Championship up high and places his foot on Jake Smith’s chest. The crowd boos instantly as Mark is trash talking to them.)
Gavin Kirkland: Is this the sight of what is expected at Battle of Egypt?
Eve: Jake Smith is going to need to bring everything to the table if he wants to walk out of Suez with that PURE Championship!
(Commercial break promoting Mark Michaels vs. Jake Smith at Battle of Egypt!)
(Showdown returns from commercial break as “Old Town Road” (Remix) by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus hits as Lance Blackfyre makes his way onto the stage with a determined look on his face.)
Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SET FOR…..
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
Gina Romano: Introducing first….from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at three hundred and sixty five pounds….LAAAAAANNNCCEEE BBLLACCCKKFFYYRREEE!!!!
Eve: Lance with a HUGE opportunity tonight against one of EAW’s best. He came up short in a countout loss last week. He needs to get some momentum building for himself!
Deadprez: I mean he’s no stranger to it. The guy’s took Mr. DEDEDE and Jamie O’Hara to their limits!
(“Odee” by A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie hits as Chris Elite walks out to a HUGE chorus of boos with Ahren Fournier and Big Mike walking behind him with Ahren tapping his shoulder pumping him up.)
Gina Romano: And his opponents from Brooklyn, New York,. weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds, representing The Illionaires, “DETECTIVE SKABLER”….CCCHHHRRRIISSS EEELLITTEEE!!!
Deadprez: Well speaking of Jamie O’Hara, it seems these fans have no love lost for these guys after what they pulled last week brutally attacking Jamie O’Hara. And all these guys just don’t seem to care about soaking in the reaction.
Gavin Kirkland: Question is Chris healed enough from War Games to step into the ring with a neandethal like Lance Blackfyre?
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Deadprez: And here we go. You can clearly see the size difference between these two men. I mean just look at this. Chris right now is just pointing at Lance like he’s a joke. Lance now roars in his face and Chris now throws a few elbows to the face of Lance before Lance uses his power and pushes Chris Elite back but Chris is back up to his feet like lightning and rushes at Lance but Lance lifts him in mid air! Lance is just holding him up high…and he drops him on his back!
Eve: Ahren is panicking on the outside already. Chris rolls out of the ring and Ahren grabs him and calls a timeout to the referee.
Deadprez: Is he even allowed to do that? But oh wait Lance on the opposite side of the ring comes rushing and bulldozes Ahren Fournier while Chris nearly avoided disaster! AND OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS!!
(Big Mike and Lance Blackfyre come face to face as the crowd pops.)
Gavin Kirkland: DAMN LOOK AT THESE GUYS! ARE THEY BOUTTA THROW DOWN?! BUT WOAH CHRIS FROM IN THE RING HITS THE SUICIDE DIVE TO THE SIDE OF LANCE THAT DRIVES LANCE TO THE BARRICADE! Chris runs and hits the high knee to Lance keeping his balance on the barricade! And now it looks like Big Mike and Chris are discussing something. And now look Chris calls the referee over and is distracting him. Big Mike delivers an uppercut cheap shot to Lance before throwing him into the ring! I think Chris made Big mike do the heavy lifting to get Lance back in the ring but Big Mike got a cheap shot in as well.
Eve: And Chris immediately takes his attention off the referee and goes for the top rope…Lance is down here and Chris is looking to take advantage! SHOOTING STAR PRESS CONNECTS! CHRIS WITH THE COVER!
Deadprez: AND LANCE JUST KICKED OUT WITH EASE IT SEEMS! Chris seems a bit shocked here but he goes back on the attack and he has the headlock locked in on the grounded Lance! I don’t think Chris knew what else to do in the moment! He has it locked in tight and Lance is trying to find a way out of this. Lance now gets to one knee and Chris is trying to throw knees to the face of Lance but it’s as if he doesn’t even feel it! Lance is up to both feet now and Lance counters it into a back body drop! Both men are down now!
Eve: Lance is up to his feet first here and he throws a big boot right into Chris’s face knocking him back down to the mat! Lance picks up the body of Chris Elite and picks him up in a bearhug position! Chris is screaming in pain here! Now he’s swinging Chris back and forth like he’s a damn rag doll! Chris is desperately trying to escape here! Chris is throwing elbows on the top of Lance’s head repeatedly trying to get Lance to loosen the grip and Lance finally does and Chris takes that opportunity to slip underneath the legs of Lance face Lance’s backside…BOX OFFICE SMASH SUPERKICK RIGHT TO THE BACK OF LANCE’S HEAD! Lance is down to one knee holding his head and Chris runs to the ropes and rebound from them and….LANCE CATCHES HIM IN A POWERSLAM POSITION! CHRIS IS SQUIRMING TRYING TO ESCAPE BUT LANCE DELIVERS A DEVASTATING RUNNING POWERSLAM TO CHRIS! HE COVERS!
Gavin Kirkland: Chris gets his shoulder up! Lance is thinking on what next to do here as he now picks up Chris and throws a vicious headbutt that causes Chris to startle back into the corner! Lance is measuring Chris in the corner…HE CHARGES AT CHRIS IN THE CORNER! BUT CHRIS GETS HIS FOOT UP STOPPING LANCE IN HIS TRACKS! Chris hops up to the top rope and grabs Lance by his head…TORNADO DDT FROM THE TOP ROPE FROM CHRIS! Chris crawls to the corner instead of going for the cover. Ahren Fournier is screaming at him from the outside to end it.
Deadprez: Chris pulls himself up with the ropes and waits for Lance to get up and Lance does and turns around….BOX OFFICE SMA- NO LANCE CAUGHT THE FOOT! HE’S SHAKING HIS HEAD NO AT CHRIS WHILE CHRIS HAD HIS HANDS UP BEGGING FOR MERCY! Lance flips Chris backwards but Chris lands on his feet and then hits a enziguri to the side of Lance’s head! Lance is stunned here! Chris goes for Box Office Smash again but Lance ducks under and grabs Chris by his throat with both hands! Chris kicks Lance in his right knee causing Lance to let go and he dropkicks Lance in his other knee causing Lance to drop down to both knees in the center of the ring and Chris runs to the ropes again…WHO SHOT YA! THE PENALTY KICK CONNECTS! CHRIS COVERS LANCE!
Eve: AND NO LANCE POWERS OUT OF IT! CHRIS IS IN DISBELIEF HE CAN’T KEEP THIS MONSTER DOWN! WHAT ELSE DOES HE HAVE PLANNED?! CHRIS ELITE IS GOING TO NEED TO THINK OF SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BOX IF HE WANTS TO BEAT LANCE BLACKFYRE!!!
Gavin Kirkland: At this point, it seems like Chris should be looking to SURVIVE Lance Blackfyre! Chris rises back to his feet as Lance is rising back to his feet as well! Chris rushes forward — Box Office Smash to the Omen of Destruction!!!
Deadprez: WHAT IN THE HELL?!?!?! LANCE BLACKFYRE MANAGES TO CATCH CHRIS ELITE BY HIS LEG BEFORE HE COULD CONNECT WITH THAT SUPERKICK! CHRIS HAS HIS HANDS UP! THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THAT CHRIS HAS GONE WITH THAT SUPERKICK AND IT SEEMS LIKE HE HAS FOUND HIMSELF IN A SIMILAR POSITION AS EARLIER IN THE MATCH UP! HE PROBABLY THOUGHT THE SECOND TIME WAS GOING TO BE THE CHARM! LANCE BLACKFYRE MAY BE A GIANT, BUT HE’S NOT STUPID AT ALL!
Chris Elite (off-mic): You should let me down big guy. I don’t want any trouble. :whoa:
Eve: Lance Blackfyre throws Chris Elite across the ring! It seems like this monster is refusing to listen! Chris backs away to the corner, but like a freight train, Lance rushes towards Chris with a giant upper cut that sends the former World Heavyweight Championship forward! Lance picks up Chris connecting with a giant hip toss that sends Chris across the ring again! Chris is getting thrown around this ring! Chris is stumbling back to his feet before Lance rushes towards Chris —
Gavin Kirkland: — OMEN OF DOOMSDAY! SUPER MAN PUNCH NAILS CHRIS ELITE FACE FIRST!
Deadprez: Ahren Fournier does the smart thing and rolls Chris Elite out of the ring! This is the second time that Ahren has come in the aid for his tag team partner! It was the smartest thing that Ahren could have done! There’s no imagine what Lance would have planned to do after that superman punch!
(Ahren Fournier comes to get Chris Elite and help him up, but makes eye contact with Lance Blackfyre. Both members of the ILLIONAIRES hide behind Big Mike. If Lance wants to get to them, he’s gotta get through Big Mike first.)
Eve: Lance Blackfyre is ringside as he is staring down with Big Mike again! I don’t think that Big Mike would be afraid to put his hands on Lance if given the chance, but he risks disqualifying Chris Elite from the match!
Gavin Kirkland: LANCE BLACKFYRE GETS BIG MIKE BY HIS THROAT!!!!
Deadprez: Chris Elite from the apron!!! GO. TO. THE. DENTIST!!!!! THE HIGH BICYCLE KNEE STRIKE ON LANCE BLACKFYRE!!! THAT SENDS HIM BACK TO THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE!!!! Chris gets on top of our table! He throws a couple of forearms to keep Lance Blackfyre down! Chris with a double foot stop on Lance! Chris gets off our table and rolls himself back into the ring! Chris is demanding for the official to begin his count! The official does that!!!!
Eve: Lance Blackfyre is scrambling off our table! Like it’s been stated, it’s going to be difficult to keep Lance down!
Gavin Kirkland: Lance Blackfyre slides himself underneath the bottom rope as Chris Elite begins to stomp on Lance like a rabid animal! The referee manages to get between Chris and Lance! He pushes Chris back as this gives Lance a bit of time for him to get on his knees! Chris manages to run past the official before connecting with a Who Shot Ya! Another penalty kick to Lance Blackfyre! But, it doesn’t stumble Lance back whatsoever! Chris is looking at Lance confused! Lance is different from all the other opponents that Chris has faced in the past! Chris takes a couple steps back before rushing towards Lance Blackfyre —
Deadprez: — Sliding forearm smash onto Lance Blackfyre! That was enough to take Lance down! Chris goes for the cover!
Referee: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOO—
Eve: LANCE BLACKFYRE LIFTS CHRIS ELITE OFF OF HIM AND THROWS HIM BEHIND HIM! CHRIS LANDS ON HIS STOMACH BEFORE SITTING ON HIS KNEES! IS THERE ANYTHING THAT IS GOING TO KEEP LANCE DOWN? CHRIS HASN’T DONE SO WELL WITH KEEPING LANCE DOWN! NOT MANY MEN HAVE MANAGED TO KEEP LANCE DOWN ON SHOWDOWN! LANCE IS MAKING IT TO A VERTICAL BASE AS CHRIS ELITE DOES AS WELL! LANCE CHARGES TOWARDS CHRIS —
Gavin Kirkland: — Omen of Doomsday!!! The superman punch knocks Chris Elite! Guys, look who’s on the apron!!!
(The camera pans to Ahren Fournier on the apron with his umbrella in his possession. He is trying to get Lance Blackfyre’s attention.)
Deadprez: Does Ahren Fournier believe that this is the smartest thing for him to do? He is going to get himself hurt! Chris Elite is trying to distract the official, giving Ahren the window to do whatever the hell he has in mind!
Eve: Ahren Fournier whacks the umbrella onto the skull of Lance Blackfyre! However, Lance doesn’t go down! Lance doesn’t fall! Ahren hits him with the umbrella for a second time and a third time! Lance stumbles to his knees!!
Gavin Kirkland: BOX OFFICE SMASH TO THE BACK OF LANCE BLACKFYRE’S HEAD!!!! CHRIS ELITE GOES FOR THE COVER!!!!
Referee: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Odee” plays once again as Chris Elite gets off of Lance Blackfyre. Big Mike and Ahren Fournier join Chris in the ring as they raise his hand in victory. Lance rolls out of the ring as he’s holding the back of his head in pain. He has a pissed off look on his face.)
Gina Romano: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH…CHRRRRIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSS ELLLLLIIIIIIIITTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Eve: Are you kidding me? The ILLIONAIRES had use dirty tactics in order to pick up the victory! There was no doubt that if Ahren Fournier never got himself involved, Lance Blackfyre would have won the match! There is no denying that, guys!
Deadprez: Lance Blackfyre looked like a monster and I thought he handled the number’s game well for a lot of the match, but the moment that Ahren Fournier got himself on the apron and hit Lance with the umbrella that Chris was all to take advantage of the match!
Gavin Kirkland: These losses are only going to anger Lance Blackfyre. No one wants that. :lupe:
(The camera cuts backstage where Jamie O’Hara is sitting against a locker, holding an ice pack on his shoulder and resting his head against the steel. Visibly frustrated, O’Hara picks up a water bottle beside him and hurls it across the room.)
Jamie O’Hara: Fucking cunts…
(O’Hara’s phone vibrates. A picture of Cameron flashes across the screen; O’Hara swipes across, answering a Facetime call. Cameron appears on the screen with concern dashed across her face.)
Jamie O’Hara: Hey…
Cameron Ella Ava: Hey, how are you feeling? I saw what they did to you out there.
Jamie O’Hara: Oh…you know, just feeling like I woke up from a week long bender. But I’m still feeling good.
Cameron Ella Ava: Are you sure you’re okay?
(Jamie lets go of the ice pack on his shoulder and moves his shoulder around.)
Jamie O’Hara: Yeah…yeah I’m fine. It’s not the worst beating I’ve taken and it’s probably not going to be the last.
Cameron Ella Ava: No, you’re not fine.
Cameron Ella Ava: And It’s not going to be the last. It’s always going to be a two on one situation as long as I’m at home. I know you’re gutsy, I know you don’t back down from a fight and that’s why I love you but you’re only human; you can’t keep showing up to Showdown by yourself and thinking you’re going to be able to get the best of them. You’re just going to end up sitting next to me injured and the last thing I or anyone else wants to see is you injured again. I don’t care if they doctors say six weeks, two months, three — whatever, I’m going to be there in two weeks and together we’ll put a stop to them.
Jamie O’Hara: No, you’re not.
Cameron Ella Ava: You can’t stop me. You know that.
Jamie O’Hara: I’m not dragging you into this. This is my fight and I don’t need you risking your health for me.
Cameron Ella Ava: You’re not dragging me into this. Who else is going to help you?
(O’Hara’s jaw drops as he tries to mention a single name.)
Jamie O’Hara: …
Cameron Ella Ava: Exactly. I don’t care, I can’t sit by and watch you get picked apart by two dogs on Jenny Punk’s leash. You can’t do it al–
Jamie O’Hara: –CAMERON. ENOUGH.
(A visibly frustrated O’Hara snaps at Cameron. A brief silence fell as O’Hara collected his thoughts; he lifts the ice pack back up to his shoulder.)
Jamie O’Hara: …I’m sorry…but look, you’re hurt. If it’s five more weeks, then it’s five more weeks. No less. The last thing I need is for you to come back recklessly and potentially put yourself on the shelf for much, much longer. I’ve got this. Trust me, I’ve got it. Soon enough, I’m going to put these cowards down and by the time you’re fit and healthy to return, this won’t be an issue that you won’t need to worry about. And if I have to do this alone? Then I’m going to have to do it alone because your health is more important. I can take whatever beating they throw at me, I can handle whatever situation Jenny Punk puts me in or whatever obstacle she throws in front of me. I don’t think, in your current situation, that you can. I want nothing more than for you to be here with me on the road because together, there’s nobody who can stop us. But you can’t and I can’t keep letting them get away with this. I’ve got no choice. I’ve got to fight. I’ve got to do whatever I can possibly do to get them off my back.
Cameron Ella Ava: Just promise me you’re going to do something stupid.
Jamie O’Hara: I promise. I’m not going to bite off more than I can chew. With my match next week against Tyler in Egypt, I can’t afford to do anything stupid. Besides, I don’t think I’ve even done anything stupid yet…
(Cameron looks at the ice pack on O’Hara’s shoulder.)
Jamie O’Hara: …except for tonight.
Cameron Ella Ava: Jamie…
Jamie O’Hara: I’ve got one match to get through. That’s all. I’m not going to risk anything. I’m not going to put myself in a position to be picked apart and beaten down again. I’ll get through tonight, get through Battle of Egypt and then I’ll focus my attention on them.
Cameron Ella Ava: But what about the following week? And the week after that?
(O’Hara shrugs and slowly shakes his head.)
Jamie O’Hara: I’m not backing down…
Cameron Ella Ava: I’m not asking you to. I just want you to be careful. Don’t take some unneeded risk.
Jamie O’Hara: Just…trust me. Don’t rush yourself back, don’t put yourself at risk of further injury because that’s just not going to help anyone but more importantly it’s not going to help yourself. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that they can do that will put me down. Sooner or later, I’ll drag them into the fucking sea.
(Cameron chuckles as a grin appears on O’Hara’s face.)
Cameron Ella Ava: Alright…alright, I trust you. I would say good luck in your match but I know you don’t need it. Just watch your back, okay?
Jamie O’Hara: I’ll be fine. I’ll be back home soon. I love you…
Cameron Ella Ava: Love you too.
(The grin on O’Hara’s face remains as he ends the call. He pauses for a moment before removing the ice pack from his shoulder, pulling himself to his feet and begins to get ready for his match.)
Gavin Kirkland (in the background): DO NOT ADJUST THAT TV SET BECAUSE JAMIE O’HARA VS. RYAN WILSON UP NEXT!!!!
(Commercial for Spanish Heritage Month featuring Cameron Ella Ava. #BetterLateThanNever)
(Showdown returns from commercial break with Gina Romano in the ring.)
Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR..
Crowd: ONE FALL!
(“My Way” by Limp Bizkit begins to play and the crowd immediately showers Ryan Wilson with a chorus of boos.)
Gina Romano: INTRODUCING FIRST… FROM MONTREAL, QUEBEC, CANADA… WEIGHING IN AT 212 POUNDS… RYAN WILSON!
Deadprez: It’s been one hell of a show tonight, and ending it with this match seems pretty perfect. Ryan Wilson plans on defeating Jamie O’Hara here tonight, and if he can actually pull that off… :wow:. Ryan would surely be a favorite to get a title shot.
Gavin Kirkland: Planning on defeating Jamie and actually doing it are two entirely different things, thank you. Very few people can say they’ve knocked off ‘The Ace’ and I’ll just be brutally honest. I really don’t think Ryan Wilson is going to add his name to that list.
Eve: :lupe: Stranger things have happened in EAW before, although Ryan has been nothing short of determined this year. He wants to be seen as a top Elitist here on Showdown and well, if he wins tonight then who is really going to try and tell him he’s not a top guy?
(Ryan gets into the ring and gets set for the match. His music fades out and is soon replaced by Jamie’s.)
Gina Romano: AND HIS OPPONENT… FROM MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA… WEIGHING IN AT 190 POUNDS… HE IS ‘THE ACE’ JAMIE O’HARA!!!
(The crowd showers Jamie with praise as he steps onto the stage and begins to make his way to the ring.)
Gavin Kirkland: :blessed:
Deadprez: As far as Jamie goes, well he looks to do what he always does and that’s get the job done on his own merit. The fallout from War Games has been brutal for Jamie, but we have seen this man bounce back time and time again.
Eva: Exactly. The Illionaires and Jenny Punk will get what’s coming to them soon enough, but tonight Jamie just looks to get into the ring and take care of business. A lot of people aren’t giving Ryan Wilson a chance, Jamie himself I’m sure, but regardless of the outcome, both men are going to make one another work for the victory.
Gavin Kirkland: #JamieBetter
(Jamie gets into the ring and gets ready for the match. His music fades and the referee checks with both competitors. Both are ready, and the referee calls for the bell!)
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Eve: HERE WE GO!
Gavin Kirkland (singing): HERE WE GOOOOOOO! HERE WE GO! ONE MORE TIME! EVERYBODY’S FEELING FINE! HERE WE GO NOW!
Eve: YES! YES! YES! YES! HERE WE GO! NSYNC HAS GOT THE FLOW!
Gavin Kirkland: Bye, bye, bye Deadprez.
Deadprez: Shake my fucking head.
Eve: 😀 We’re underway as Jamie O’Hara and Ryan Wilson begin circling one another. It’s Ryan who initiates the collar and elbow tie-up, and he manages to back Jamie into the corner. Ryan holds Jamie against the turnbuckles until the referee gets in the middle and starts to initiate a five count.
Referee: ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR…
Deadprez: Ryan breaks… BUT HE JUST SLAPPED JAMIE ACROSS THE FACE!
Gavin Kirkland: :lupe:
Eve: Jamie’s crystal clear baby blue eyes fly open a-
Deadprez: That’s one hell of a specific description of Jamie’s eyes, Eve.
Gavin Kirkland: Jamie catches Ryan in the gut with a kick and he grabs Ryan, reversing their positions, and now it’s Ryan who’s trapped in the corner! Jamie is unloading rights and lefts on Ryan and Ryan is trying his best to cover up! Jamie grabs Ryan by the hair and jerks him out of the corner, grabbing him by the neck, and snapmaring him down onto the mat! Jamie with a series of perfectly placed kicks to Ryan’s back and now Jamie rushes the ropes! Jamie with a running basement dropkick that catches Ryan in the face! Jamie with the quick cover!
Deadprez: Kickout by Ryan!
Eve: Jamie quickly pulls Ryan up, but Ryan is already fighting back! He manages to push Jamie back and leaps in the air… connecting with a dropkick! Jamie falls back against the ropes and Ryan grabs him by the legs and pulls him into the center of the ring! Ryan looks for a figure four, but Jamie kicks him back and scrambles to his feet! The two lock up, and both are fighting for positioning! Ryan is able to back Jamie against the ropes once again, but The Ace quickly reverses! Both men are on the ropes now, and it’s Jamie who finally takes control and he grabs Ryan in a headlock! Jamie tightens his grip, and now Ryan is firing back with a series of elbows! Jamie lets go and Ryan grabs Jamie by the arm and whips him into the ropes! Ryan catches Jamie on the rebound with a clothesline and ‘The Ace’ is down!
Deadprez: Ryan runs towards the ropes, jumps on the middle rope, and uses it as a springboard! LIONSAULT CONNECTS ON JAMIE! RYAN WITH THE COVER!
Gavin Kirkland: Jamie kicks out!
Deadprez: Ryan immediately grabs for Jamie’s arm, but Jamie is able to thwart the armbar attempt and both men work their way back up to their feet. Ryan maintains control of the arm, and he’s attempting to wrestle Jamie back down, dropping to a knee. Jamie makes a grab for Ryan’s leg, but Ryan takes Jamie’s wrist and begins to wrench it back, causing Jamie to momentarily rethink his strategy. The crafty Jamie O’Hara rolls forward, which takes some of the pressure off the wrist, and he kips up! JUMPING KNEE STRIKE! THAT KNEE CATCHES RYAN IN THE JAW!
Eve: Ryan is down and immediately Jamie is deadlifting Ryan up and he has him in position for a German suplex! Jamie with a beautiful German suplex, and he bridges up for a pin!
Deadprez: Ryan gets the shoulder up!
Gavin Kirkland: BUT JAMIE HAS ROLLED TO THE SIDE AND GRABBED RYAN IN A KNEEBAR! THE KNEEBAR SUBMISSION IS LOCKED IN NOW, AND RYAN WILSON MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE!
Eve: We are still in the early stages of this match, but Jamie O’Hara doesn’t seem to want to draw things out tonight. ‘The Ace’ has had his hands full in recent weeks, especially with The Illionaires and Jenny Punk turning on him, and you have to think that Jamie is a man of very little patience at the moment.
Deadprez: The ring positioning favors Ryan right now, though! And lucky for him! Ryan has his hand on the ropes now and the referee is starting the count! Jamie breaks at four and gets back up. Ryan tries to pull himself up using the ropes, but Jamie immediately begins attacking the knee! Stomp after stomp connects with the knee and Ryan has no choice but to pull himself out of the ring! Ryan crawls towards the entrance ramp in an attempt to collect himself, and he finally ge-
Gavin Kirkland: TOPE CON HILO! JAMIE TAKES RYAN DOWN!
Eve: JAMIE IS WAILING AWAY ON RYAN NOW! RIGHTS AND LEFTS CONNECTING WITH RYAN!
Deadprez: Jamie finally rolls off Ryan and jerks him up! He drags Ryan back towards the ring but wait! Ryan rakes Jamie across the face, a desperation move!
Gavin Kirkland: But smart! Ryan grabs Jamie and throws him into the ring steps! Jamie slams into the steel and Ryan falls back, needing to catch his breath! Jamie has taken the fight to him so far, which is to be expected. Ryan knew what he was facing coming into this match. Jamie is arguably one of the greatest Elitists of all time, and when it comes to actually beating Jamie? That’s no easy task.
Eve: Ryan is back up now, and he presses his foot against the side of Jamie’s head! Jamie’s skull finds itself trapped between the ring steps and Ryan’s boot, and the referee starts yelling at Ryan to get the match back into the ring. Ryan ignores him and kicks Jamie’s head repeatedly into the ring steps! Jamie is out of it right now, and this has given Ryan an opening. Ryan snatches Jamie up by the hair, bounces his face off the hardest part of the ring, and rolls Jamie back inside. Ryan climbs onto the apron and goes to the top rope! Ryan gets set on the top rope and flies off… UN CLASSIQUE! RYAN WITH A BEAUTIFUL SWANTON BOMB AND HE HOOKS THE LEGS FOR A COVER!
Deadprez: JAMIE KICKS OUT!
Gavin Kirkland: Ryan mounts Jamie and now it’s his turn to take the fight to ‘The Ace’! Ryan with several stiff forearms that connect with Jamie’s face, and he’s not letting up! Ryan is hellbent on winning tonight. He hasn’t hidden the fact he wants to win championship gold this season, and what better way to get himself back into contention for a championship than by shocking the world with an upset win over Jamie O’Hara! My heart might break if that happens! I love Jamie!
Deadprez: Believe me, we know.
Eve: Ryan finally stops beating on Jamie and he grabs the Hall of Famer, nailing him with an uppercut before sending him into the corner! Ryan charges forward and Jamie eats a big boot to the face! Ryan catches Jamie before he falls forward, and he immediately turns Jamie around and plants him with a swinging neckbreaker! Ryan follows this up with a guillotine leg drop and he remains in position for a pin!
Gavin Kirkland: Kickout by Jamie!
Deadprez: Ryan maintains control of the match by grabbing Jamie in a headlock and keeping him on the ground. Jamie attempts to roll out of it, but Ryan locks his legs around Jamie’s waist! Jamie is reaching for the ropes, but he’s just not close enough, and that forces The Ace to get his legs underneath of him and to try and force the issue! Jamie is trying to force them both up, but Ryan loses his grip on the headlock long enough to slam his fist into Jamie’s chest a few times! Those clubbing blows bring Jamie back to the mat, and Ryan continues to keep Jamie in place!
Eve: Ryan falls back on the mat, wisely keeping his shoulder up, and guys, Jamie looks to be fading.
Gavin Kirkland: Jamie is not fading, Eve! Look! He is using his hands to try and pry apart Ryan’s legs. If he can loosen the waistlock, he can slip out of this, and regain control of this match! The Ace is too good of a competitor to be kept down for long.
Deadprez: I agree with Gavin, because that’s exactly what Jamie has done. He’s managed to get free of the waistlock, and he flips himself over! Ryan has to let go of the headlock and Jamie is finally free! Ryan is the fresher competitor at the moment though and he is quick to run towards Jamie!
Eve: BUT JAMIE CATCHES THE CHARGING RYAN WILSON WITH A FOREARM STRIKE TO THE FACE! RYAN STUMBLES BACK AND JAMIE FIRES BACK WITH A JUMPING HEEL KICK! RYAN FALLS INTO THE ROPES AND JAMIE CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Gavin Kirkland: BUT RYAN LANDS ON THE APRON! JAMIE WHIRLS AROUND AND RYAN CATCHES HIM WITH A STIFF RIGHT HAND! JAMIE STUMBLES BACK AND RYAN LEAPS ONTO THE TOP ROPE! HE FLIES OFF BUT JAMIE CATCHES HIM WITH A KNEE! RYAN CRUMBLES TO THE MAT AND JAMIE RUSHES TO THE ROPES! JAMIE SCALES THE ROPES AND GETS HIMSELF SET! GENKI CANNON! DIVING DOUBLE FOOT STOMP HITS THE MARK AND JAMIE MAKES THE COVER!
Deadprez: RYAN’S FOOT IS ON THE ROPES!
Gavin Kirkland: Frustration crosses Jamie’s face and he grabs Ryan’s leg, hooking it this time!
Eve: Ryan gets the shoulder up! A lot of time got wasted with Ryan’s foot on the rope and Jamie having to make a second cover.
Gavin Kirkland: Jamie immediately goes for the knee again, and once again he gets Ryan in a kneebar! Ryan gets his foot on the ropes! Jamie lets go and Ryan looks to roll out of the ring, but Jamie catches him! Jamie pulls Ryan back inside the ring and sends him into the corner! Jamie takes off running and Ryan eats a knee strike that connects with his face! Jamie O’Hara with a huge forearm now, and it connects with Ryan’s face! Jamie follows that up with an uppercut! Ryan is rocked, but Jamie is far from finished! He’s lighting Ryan’s chest up with those machine gun like chest chops now!
Deadprez: Spinning backhand from Jamie now, and he’s just beat the snot out of Ryan the last few minutes! Jamie grabs Ryan’s leg… dragon screw leg whip! JAMIE TRANSITIONS INTO THE KNEEBAR ONCE AGAIN!
Eve: Ryan has the presence of mind to grab for the ropes, but this time Jamie isn’t breaking the kneebar! He cinches that hold in as tightly as he can and the referee is yelling at Jamie! Jamie ignores him, and that prompts the referee to start counting!
Referee: ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR… F-
Gavin Kirkland: JAMIE LETS GO!
Deadprez: ONLY TO LOCK THE KNEEBAR IN ONCE AGAIN! RYAN IS STILL CLINGING TO THE ROPES!
Referee: ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR… FI-
Eve: Jamie breaks the hold and Ryan literally just threw himself out of the ring!
Deadprez: Jamie slips between the ropes and is on the apron now. What is he about to do?
Gavin Kirkland: I think my baby is about to go high risk!
Eve: JAMIE WITH A GENKI CANNON OFF THE APR- NO! RYAN MOVES! JAMIE LANDS ON HIS FEET AND SOMERSAULTS FORWARD! HE LEAPS UP AS RYAN GRABS THE BARRICADES AND HOISTS HIMSELF UP! JAMIE WITH A KNEE STR- RYAN MOVES! JAMIE CRASHES INTO THE BARRICADES!
Deadprez: Ryan forces himself back into the match and he grabs Jamie’s leg, and slams it into the barricades! Ryan pulls Jamie up and hoists him up… SUPLEX INTO A DOUBLE KNEE BACKBREAKER! RYAN IMMEDIATELY GRABS JAMIE AND LOCKS HIM A CRIPPLER CROSSFACE!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: RYAN HAS THE CROSSFACE LOCKED IN TIGHTLY ON THE OUTSIDE WHILE THE REFEREE SCREAMS AT HIM TO GET INSIDE! RYAN IGNORES HIM AND CONTINUES TO HANG ON!!!
Eve: It’s a smart strategy on Ryan’s part to soften up Jamie’s back and legs. Once this match does get back inside the ring, limiting Jamie’s mobility is going to become extremely important!
Deadprez: The referee is up to a count of seven, and the heart of Jamie O’Hara. This entire time he has been slowly inching his way back to the ring, fighting through the agonizing pain of the crossface. That’s what we expect from Jamie, though. He’s cut from a different cloth and is without a doubt one of the toughest Elitists ever!
Gavin Kirkland: The referee is at nine and Ryan breaks the hold and sprints to the ring! He slides in, breaking up the count, and is right back on the outside! He grabs Jamie up and rams him face first into the ring post! Jamie hits the ground and Ryan is now stomping away on The Ace! His stomps are connecting with Jamie’s back and legs, and now he’s throwing Jamie back into the ring! Jamie rolls to the center of it, and look at Ryan! He has an arrogant smile on his face right now! Ryan grabs Jamie’s legs and he locks him ‘Fourth Wall Break’! Ryan Wilson is going to submit Jamie O’Hara!
Eve: No he’s not! Ryan doesn’t have the move locked in properly and Jamie has his arms underneath of him! Jamie is crawling towards the ropes and Ryan is trying desperately to hang on! Jamie reaches out and his fingertips brush the ropes, but he’s unable to latch on and force a break! Ryan attempts to drag him back to the center of the ring, but Jamie pushes himself up and literally lunges for the ropes! Jamie’s hand latches onto the bottom rope and the referee yells at Ryan to break!
Referee: ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR…
Deadprez: Ryan lets go and slams his hand down on the mat in frustration! There’s no doubt he thought he had Jamie!
Gavin Kirkland: Ryan can’t let frustration get to him right now though. He needs to stay on Jamie!
Eve: Ryan bends down to pull up Jamie… BUT JAMIE GRABS RYAN IN A SMALL PACKAGE!
Gavin Kirkland: JAMIE KICKS OUT!
Deadprez: BOTH ARE BACK UP, AND THEY MEET IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! RYAN IS TAUNTING JAMIE AND JAMIE JUST HAULS OFF AND DECKS HIM! RYAN FIRES BACK WITH A RIGHT HAND! AND NOW BOTH MEN ARE EXCHANGING SHOTS! JAMIE GETS THE UPPERHAND AND HE GRABS RYAN BY THE HEAD AND HITS A BICYCLE KNEE! JAMIE WITH ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER! HE NAILS RYAN WITH A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT, AND SENDS RYAN INTO THE ROPES! RYAN MANAGES TO HOOK HIS ARMS ON THE ROPES TO KEEP FROM REBOUNDING BUT JAMIE RUSHES HIM! IN EXCELSIS CONNECTS!!!! RYAN IS STRUCK IN THE FACE AND HE SLUMPS TO THE MAT! RYAN IS OUT AND JAMIE GRABS HIM UP… ‘DEATH, DECAY, AND WINDY DAYS’!!!! THE SPINNING FISHERMAN’S BUSTER CONNECTS!!!
Gavin Kirkland: JAMIE LOOKS TO PUT THE MATCH AWAY NOW AND HE’S BACK TO THE ROPES! WE KNOW WHAT’S COMING AND MY DICK IS HARD!
Eve: SO IS MINE!!
Deadprez and Gavin: :skip:!!!!
Eve: IF I HAD ONE!!!!
Gavin Kirkland: JAMIE DIVES OFF THE ROPES AND NAILS RYAN IN THE FACE WITH A GENKI CANNON!!! RYAN’S NOSE IS BUSTED OPEN AND JAMIE GOES FOR THE COVER!!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Gina Romano: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… HERE IS YOUR WINNER… JAMIE O’HARA!!!
(“Ultimate Battle” by ZENTA [EAW Edit] begins to play the crowd cheers as Jamie slowly rises to his feet.)
Deadprez: That was a hard fought win for Jamie! Ryan put up an amazing fight, but in the end, The Ace of Elite Answers Wrestling proved to be too tough. Jamie is moving on to Battle of Egypt to face Tyler Parker in a dream match, and I’m honestly pumped for that, guys.
Eve: Battle of Egypt looks great, but there’s no doubt that Jamie versus Tyler is a match of the year contender. I know they haven’t even stepped into the ring yet, but I don’t think that’s a bold declaration at all. Their respective resumes and whatnot speak for themselves.
(The referee has helped Ryan out of the ring, but he shoves him away and walks off under his own power. People can say a lot of things about Ryan Wilson, but one thing that can’t be said is he lacks for effort. Like always, Ryan brought his best to the match, and gave Jamie a challenge, but in the end Jamie did what he always does and that is prove he’s resilient.)
Gavin Kirkland: That about wraps us up for tonight, and what better way to end Showdown than with The Ace celebrating another victory inside the ring! I’m secure enough in my masculinity and the fact I can pull up on any bitch in this place and get her naked to say zoom in on them abs of Jamie!
(The camera does not zoom in on Jamie’s abs.)
Gavin Kirkland: :noah:
Deadprez: Issa wrap, folks. Join us next Saturday for Battle of Egypt live on free-per- what the hell??
(The lights in the arena have gone off, leaving everyone in complete and total darkness. Jamie’s theme music has been cut as well, and the crowd is reacting with the type of nervous energy you would expect from a situation like this.)
Eve: GAVIN! YOUR HAND DOES NOT GO THERE!
Gavin Kirkland (whimpering): I don’t like the dark, Eve.
Deadprez: Uhhh, I guess we are having some technical difficulti-
(Deadprez is cut off by the lights returning and the crowd erupting.)
Gavin Kirkland: OH FUCK!
Eve: THAT’S TYLER PARKER!
(The former 2-time World champ, Tyler Parker, is indeed in the middle of the ring! He wears a cocky smirk across his face, and he’s literally living for the reaction he is getting from the crowd. Just seeing Tyler standing in the ring across from Jamie has the EAW Universe going absolutely brazy, and Tyler takes a moment to absorb the energy. He takes in the cheers, the moment, and everything else that comes with finally stepping back into an EAW ring, and then he turns his attention to Jamie.)
(The energy of the crowd shifts and they quiet down. They’re not entirely sure which man gets their loyalty right now. Both are deserving, to be quite honest, and the fans are the real winners in this situation.)
Gavin Kirkland: JAMIE JUST STRUCK TYLER!
Eve: AND HERE WE GO! TYLER FIRES BACK WITH A RIGHT, WHICH JAMIE ANSWERS! BOTH OF THEM ARE WAILING ON ONE ANOTHER AND IT’S JAMIE WHO MANAGES TO GRAB TYLER AND FORCE HIM INTO THE CORNER! JAMIE, WHO JUST HAD A GRUELING MATCH WITH RYAN WILSON, IS EMPTYING THE TANK RIGHT NOW! HE’S UNLOADING THOSE KICKS AND STRIKES ON TYLER, BUT LOOK AT TYLER! TYLER UNCORKS A HUGE SHOT TO THE JAW THAT STAGGERS JAMIE, AND TYLER TAKES HIM DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A CLOTHESLINE! TYLER MOUNTS JAMIE! TYLER IS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF JAMIE!
Deadprez: JAMIE MANAGES TO THROW TYLER OFF AND HE’S LOOKING TO GET BACK UP, BUT TYLER CATCHES JAMIE WITH A KICK! IT CONNECTS WITH JAMIE’S TEMPLE AND TYLER GRABS JAMIE!!! JAMIE TRIES TO FIGHT HIM OFF BUT TYLER HAS HIM LOCKED IN THE STRAIGHT JACKET TRIANGLE CHOKE! HE GETS JAMIE TO THE MAT AND TRAPS THE LEG! SAINT LAURENT MASK ON JAMIE!
Gavin Kirkland: RYAN REALLY WORKED JAMIE OVER EARLIER WITH SEVERAL NICE SUBMISSIONS AND IT LOOKS LIKE THIS ONE IS PUTTING THE ACE TO SLEEP! JAMIE IS FADING OUT AND THE RETURNING TYLER PARKER HAS CAUSED THE ACE TO PASS OUT! JAMIE IS OUT BUT TYLER CONTINUES TO HANG ON AND HERE COMES SEVERAL EAW OFFICIALS!
Eve: TYLER LETS GO AS THE OFFICIALS HIT THE RING AND THIS CROWD ISN’T SURE IF THEY SHOULD BE HAPPY OR SAD! TYLER BRUSHES OFF THE EAW OFFICIALS AND RAISES HIS HANDS IN THE AIR!
Deadprez: :damn: WE’RE OUT OF TIME! THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT EAW UNIVERSE!
(One last shot of Tyler Parker standing over Jamie is taken before Showdown fades to black.)
(EAW logo buzzes.)