(EAW Logo plays)
(A recap of the previous episode of Friday Night Dynasty plays. On the screen, several key moments throughout the show are shown. We start with Serena Bennett addressing the crowd and discussing the loss she took at Operation: Doomsday. The crowd is hot for Bennett as our steps StarrStan, who gives her praise for her performance before explaining to her how she was no longer the number one contender to Kassidy Heart’s EAW Universal Women’s Championship. StarrStan instead gives Serena Bennett the honor to be the captain of Dynasty’s team in this year’s War Games at Territorial Invasion. We then see Fatal Destiny pick up a huge win against Mike Gambino and Eric Havoc in a dominant fashion.)
(Next are clips of TLA and Steroid Dawg in a lowrider plotting revenge on Darkane followed by an impressive win by Helena Merriman over Ronan Malosi who responded by attacking her after the match. Afterwards, Fatal Destiny meet Rick Vercetti who has come to be a stable guide for them to keep the team together with Celes Dumont out of action for the time being. Next, Osamu Archimedes defeats Dynasty’s number one contender for the New Breed Championship in Archimedes J. Manson in a competitive bout. Next, Jake Smith and Justin Windgate have an incredible fight that unfortunately ends in a double count out and a draw between them.)
(We get images of Eric Havoc being inspired by The Orchestrator to do something dramatic and drastic to garner all of EAW’s attention. What is it that he did? Attack Korey Gaines on Voltage and send shockwaves inside the company. Darcy May Morgan is shown taking a tough loss to an inspired Drake King with an assist from his Round Table cohort Jake who superkicks DMM’s tag team partner Remi Skyfire who tried to distract King bear the end. Impact, the EAW World Heavyweight Champion is shown in the ring bragging about outsmarting Lethal Consequences at Operation Doomsday and how he may take the next quad brand EAW FPV, Territorial Invasion, off and just relax while the rest of the company fights it out.)
(Finally, we see the main event of the evening. Provencal, the winner of StarrStan’s “Winner Takes All” fights hard but ultimately is defeated by National Elite Champion Jack Ripley who subdued him and seemingly was prepared to close out the show with his hand raised and his title belt high in the air for all to see. That is, until El Landerson* hopped the barricade and obliterates him where he stands. It is not until he removes his mask do we see that it was not El Landerson that attacked Ripley. In fact, it was Lethal Consequences himself who had stunned the crowd and the National Elite champion and proceeded to assault him, Provencal, and the referee before making it clear he was gunning for his title. Due to the stipulation following his loss to Impact for the World Title, LC was no longer able to challenge for his title until his reign ended. The recap ends with Lethal placing the belt on Ripley as Jack laid out cold in the middle of the ring.)
(Friday Night Dynasty’s theme song plays as a small title card flashes at the bottom letting everyone know we were live in The Bok center located in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The crowd is shown holding signs and wearing merchandise of various Elitist as we pan to our esteemed commentary trio.)
Stew-O: Welcome everybody to another episode of…FRIDAAAAAY NIGHT…DYNASTY! I am Stew-O and with me as always is the lovely Flannery McCoy!
Flannery McCoy: Yes I am, always with you through thick and thin, Stew!
Stew-O: With us is the snarky smark with tons of heart, Jake Mercer!
Jake Mercer: Good to be here with you guys and I’m prepared to drop tons of knowledge and science behind this microphone and keep our insatiable fanbase fed with insider information. Who else can give the kids who make professional wrestling music videos and custom trons using copyrighted material the shit they really crave? I know how much Lance Blackfyre weighed as a child and who the first person Impact bodyslammed was.
Flannery McCoy: Why do we need to know who
Jake Mercer: It was Big Blackjack Bonaparte!
Flannery McCoy: Starting off pretty hot, huh?
Stew-O: No other way to start off a show this big, right? Serena Bennett looks to be scouting for the two members she likely will add to her team at War Games, Ripley might be looking for answers from Lethal Consequences after his heinous attack last week, and TLA also says he is going to be looking for revenge himself!
Flannery McCoy: Also, don’t forget, some big match ups tonight! Fatal Destiny vs Landerson and Provençal, Osamu vs Jake, and Darkane vs Remi Skyfire in our main event! Things are going to be intense from beginning to end tonight here on Fri-
(“Can I live?” By Jay-Z plays. The crowd is divided with cheers and boos as the lights flash on and off. A woman begins to go into an epileptic seizure as out walks Impact on to the stage.)
Jake Mercer: These lights are going to make the insurance company fee EAW has to pay go up. That has to be the second person I’ve seen since joining this team catch a seizure when our champion makes his entrance.
Stew-O: That maybe do. But, our medical team should be able to assist her quickly. But, for right now, all eyes are on stage. Yes, he has arrived! There he is, the Elite Answers Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion! Impact! And he’s wearing some strange attire, isn’t he guys?
Flannery McCoy: Impact has on a Versace robe and looks to be nothing on under it from what we can see but…his big gold belt. The champion is strolling down the ramp with his championship under his slightly closed robe and parents are covering their eyes to prepare for any potential wardrobe malfunctions it seems!
Jake Mercer: I’ve seen glimpses of Imp’s massive appendage. I’m not a gay man but if I was…
Flannery McCoy: Please don’t tell us about your fantasies about The White Mamba, please.
Jake Mercer: They day the White mamba has the world deadliest venom. In fact, it’s so deadly that once he came inside Sienna Jade after Pain for Pride XII that that’s why she needed to take a break. Vaginal reconstructive surgery that costs upwards of 700 grand. That’s how power the penis of Impact just may be. I heard about it on TMZ’s sister website, STDZ!
Flannery McCoy: For fucks sakes!
Stew-O: Back to the ring! Impact rolls in to the ring, gripping his robe in order to keep his entire groin from being exposed, as he gets up and begs for a microphone.
Impact: *tap tap*
Flannery McCoy: Did he just tap the microphone to his belt or his dick?
Jake Mercer: White Mamba strikes again!
Impact: *clears throat* I guess you wonder where I’ve been…
Flannery McCoy: What? We saw him just last week.
Impact: …I searched to find a love within…I CAME BACK TO LET YOU KNOOOOW…Got a thing for you and I can’t let go…
Flannery McCoy: :snoop:
Stew-O: Is our champion singing right now?
Impact: My friends wonder what is wrong with me. Well I’m in a daze from your love, you see…
(Impact opens his robe, revealing a pair of boxer briefs behind his shining World Heavyweight Championship as he begins to rub the name plate with his name on it with his fingers.)
Impact: I CAME BACK TO LET YOU KNOOOOOW…I got a thang for you and I can’t let go! Some people go around the world for love. But they may never find what they dream of…
(Impact does a dramatic knee slide in the ring as he lands in front of the b-camera and his hands stretch out of the middle rope.)
Impact: WHAT YOU WON’T DO…do for love! HEY! HEY FAT BOY!
(Impact points to a particularly chubby kid wearing a Round Table shirt in the front row not at all amused by this display.)
Impact: Shut your fucking fat mouth and listen to this next part. This is where Bobby Caldwell says the coldest shit ever! Listen…*clears throat* YOU TRIED EVERYTHING…but you don’t give up…except, he did give up. Lethal Consequences has given up his pursuit of me and my World Heavyweight Championship and is off to waste Jack Ripley’s time. I have won the war. Lc is now out of my hair and out of my life. I am now as happy as one man can be. I am the undisputed, dominant, unstoppable Elite Answers Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion and I am not going anywhere any time soon!
(The crowd that initially were split begin leaning towards boos as Impact gets off the mat and to his feet. He begins to saunter back and forth as he rolls his neck and laughs at his masterful plan working so well at Operation: Doomsday.)
Impact: I am without a challenger now. Nobody on this brand of misfits and clowns looks like anyone worthy enough to take me on. What is the White Mamba left to do? Give a pity shot to those sluts in The Valkyrie? Should I run down and run over Darkane or The Lazy Asshole TLA? Oh! How about we give Jake Smith or Osamu a shot at the most prestigious championship in professional wrestling? No. I’m not about to belittle this belt by just giving any swinging dick a shot. I’m not about to get my hands dirty unnecessarily with some guy or girl who can’t lace my goddamn boots on their best day. I’m not in the mood to entertain anybody but my beautiful Sienna Jade and my damn self. So, last week I made a statement that annoyed StarrStan and the rest of EAW from management down to the angry, bumbling, cornballs that fill this companies ranks. I said, if I don’t see a worthy challenger for this World Heavyweight Championship that I, Impact, will be flexing my GAWD contract and sitting out Territorial Invasion as I give my body the rest it has earned.
(The crowd becomes silent as Impact laughs and looks around at everyone.)
Impact: Since not a single one of these pathetic people made an impression last week, I guess I have no choice. I hereby use my GAWD contract right here and right now to announce that…I will not be defending my
(“Ready for War” by Adelita’s way plays. The entire building is on their feet. Out walks the one and only Drake King and he stares into the ring. Impact’s mouth is ajar as he turns to see King as he walks down the entrance ramp.)
Jake Mercer: THE FORMER INTERWIRE KAAAAANG IS HERE! DRAKE KING IS MAKING HIS WAY DOWN THE RAMP!
Stew-O: This is certainly takes things down for an unexpected turn! Impact clearly was preparing to remove himself from any possible Territorial Invasion title matches. But, it looks like a potential challenger is on his way to the ring right now!
Flannery McCoy: Impact named a few people who he didn’t think was worthy of a title shot but he never said Drake King’s name. Was it on purpose?
(Drake begins walking down the ramp as he shakes his head at Impact. Drake walks up the stairs and in to the ring before being handed a microphone himself.)
Drake King: You know…
Impact: IN MY WORLD ONLY YOU…MAKE ME DO FOR LOVE WHAT I WOULD NOT DO!
Drake King: :russwtf:
Impact: How rude of me, do continue Jake King! I just had to finish the hook!
Drake King: …You know. Wait. Don’t do that.
Impact: Do what? :troll:
Drake King: You know my name, Impact.
Impact: You are right. You are Drake Smith, right? We teamed up a few weeks ago and you cost me a tag team match against Lethal Consequences and Jack Ripley, right? It’s funny how those two teamed up a few weeks ago and are now looking to bump heads. But, what business do you have out here…Jake?
Drake King: Confusing me for my partner in The Round Table is cute. Amateurish, but cute. I honestly expected more from a man holding the “most prestigious championship” but maybe that’s my fault. Maybe it’s my fault for expecting you to stop trolling, stop singing songs from the 70s, and be a man. Maybe Sienna Jade is the only one man enough to stand on her own two feet defend her championship when challenged in the Impact household?
Impact: Ah man! That’s funny! Bringing my wife into…very, very clever! You’re a funny guy. Thing is, after the pounding I gave Sienna last night…I highly doubt she is doing any standing anytime soon! So, now that the love of my life has been addressed…answer me, Drake King…What business do YOU have out here? What business do you have interrupting my high notes for these paying people? I hope you don’t use that word “challenge” again like you just tried to use and ask me something you know you aren’t getting.
Drake King: See…there it is. I see you do know who I am. You clearly know my name and by the sound of your voice, it’s some fear when you say my name. Underneath all this buffoonery, this eccentric and trolling behavior…you know the answer to that question you asked. Don’t you?
Impact: I beg your pardon, son?
Drake King: Why would I, Drake King, be out here interrupting this nonsense you have going on as you showboat and galavant on and on about how happy you are to not defend your championship at Territorial Invasion? Why would I come out here right as you were moments away from using that god awful GAWD contract to exclude yourself from competition? Maybe…it’s because I have a challenge for you!
Impact: I just told you not to say that word!
(The crowd roars as Impact laughs and looks around. Imp lets out a huge sigh before staring back at Drake King standing y’all in front of him.
Impact: You? The guy that just got a year in a few weeks ago? You pulling up your fucking big boy pants and you trotting out here like you’re hot shit? What gives you the fucking balls to challenge me? Me?! The White fucking Mamba!
Drake King: Well, I beat Darcy May Morgan last week in the middle of this ring, I’m the one that ended Vic Venom’s EAW career, and I’m the one that put Cage on the shelf. I look around and I can’t see anyone else more qualified than me to come and shut your mouth and take that championship from you. I’ve been INTERWIRE champion…
Jake Mercer: INTERWIRE KANG GOD DAMN IT!
Drake King: …And I know it’s my time to rise and be the champion this company needs. I’m sick of you, I’m sick of all this old guard nonsense that permeates this company. You have had a stranglehold over the main event spot every where you have gone and it’s time I step up and take my place at the top of this company!
Impact: WOW! Too long, didn’t read. Definitely didn’t hear jackshit to back up your so called “challenge” at me or my World Heavyweight Championship. Darcy May who? Vic Ven-What? INTERWIRE-wha? I don’t give a shit about any Vic’s unless it’s Vick’s vapor-rub or Michael Vick. Darcy May is just Remi Skyfire’s woman crush Wednesday as far as I’m concerned. As for Cage…yeah. You put Cage on the shelf, who gives a shit? If I wasn’t so busy mindfucking Lethal for the past month or so, I’d have took the time to cave his skull in as well. But, kudos! You had fun playing around with some scrubs but…that doesn’t mean you are getting a shot at the title or the most watched champion in history!
Drake King: Please don’t tell me our World Heavyweight Champion is scared of “jAkE kInG”all of a sudden. You have flapped your gums and run your mouth for what’s looking like two weeks straight about duping Lethal Consequences and I could not stand backstage and listen to you wax poetically about how nobody deserves a shot at you and your belt any longer. I was on my way to StarrStan’s office to put in a request for a match between you and me but what better way to take a shot at the champ then right here, right now, in his face? You can think I’m not ready or I don’t deserve a title shot all you want. I’m making things abundantly clear for you, StarrStan, and everybody in the back. Drake King is challenging Impact for his World Heavyweight Championship At Territorial Invasion!
Stew-O: WOAH! Challenge issued!
Impact: Cool. The nerve of this stupid idiot to come out here and tell a 9 time World Champion who gets the next shot at the belt. The audacity of a kid that has been giving Jake Smith pep talks for the past four weeks only for him to either lose or get counted out to tell me who I should defend my title against. You wanna challenge me? For my belt? At Territorial Invasion? Is that right? Well, first off…you wet behind the ears, imbecile! You can’t tell me what to do. Long as I have this title and my GAWD contract, nobody can tell me shit! As for your challenge…no.
(Crowd boos as Drake smirks and shakes his head.)
Impact: You get nothing. Zero. Now, excuse me…I have a warm bath filled with epsom salt and lavender to lounge in!
(Impact shoulder bumps Drake as he heads out of the ring until…)
Stew-O: DRAKE HAS IMPACT BY THE WRIST! IMPACT TURNS AS DRAKE SWINGS A HARD RIGHT HAND…IMP DUCKS! Imp drops down and rolls out the ring as Drake turns and sees the champ back peddling! Drake almost snuck and attacked the champ but Impact saw it coming and avoided it!
(Impact rolls out the ring, grabs the microphone he drops during the brief scuffle, and begins walking up the ramp.)
Impact: Close but not close enough! Yeah, that LC bullshit of trying to attack me and just walk in to a title shot ain’t gonna cut it! Good luck at Territorial Invasion! I’m sure your backup plans of losing to Heavenly Hell with Jake Smith should be fine!
(“Can I live” by Jay-Z returns as Impact smiles and exits the stage as Drake stands in the ring fuming.)
Flannery McCoy: Talk about a hot start. Impact seemingly is still looking to take Territorial Invasion despite Drake King making his case to challenge for his World Title!
Jake Mercer: Maybe Impact has a point. Yes, Drake has put two capable athletes out of commission and defeated The Dropkick Darling last week…but is he really worthy of being the next challenger to his championship?
Stew-O: We know Drake has exhibited a vicious and ferocious side as of late. Maybe Impact has a bigger challenge by denying him then he would have had if he just accepted the challenge?
Jake Mercer: GAWD contract, Stew. Our champion can do whatever he wants!
(The show hits a brief commercial break as an advertisement for Miho-Li chopsticks are shown. For some reason, Miho isn’t in the commercial but Darkane is as he holds a puppy.)
(The camera cuts to Stephie Love in the ring.)
Stephie Love: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!!!
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
(“Kingdom Come” by Jay Z hits to cheers from the crowd.)
Stephie Love: Introducing first from Crown Heights, Brooklyn weighing in at 228 pounds he is “The Shape” DAHMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR COZARRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!!!
(Dahmiir Cozart steps out to the stage looking ready to kick some ass.)
Flannery McCoy: Dahmiir Cozart is bringing the fight to anyone who wants it! This appears to be a man of few words so we will see if he does all his talking in the ring tonight!
Jake Mercer: Or maybe he just has nothing to say. He might just get his ass kicked.
Stew-O: I believe in him. He is the “Ninth Wonder” after all!
Jake Mercer: Who is the eighth?
Flannery McCoy: …
(“One Woman Army” by Porcelain Black hits to cheers from the crowd.)
Stephie Love: And his opponent from Venice Beach, California weighing in at 180 pounds she is the “One Woman Army” HELENA MERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIMAN!!!!
(Helena Merriman comes out to the stage looking even more ready to kick some ass than Dahmiir did.)
Flannery McCoy: We love a kween. She doesn’t need no backup! She is an entire army in one woman!
Jake Mercer: Imagine that! A woman army! Strange times we live in!
Stew-O: Jake still hasn’t gotten used to intergender competition. But one day he will get there especially if people like Helena Merriman continue to show what they can do in that ring!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Flannery McCoy: And we are underway!!! Helena shaking the ropes violently she is ready for action. Dahmiir pacing around smiling sinisterly towards Helena like he is having some very dirty thoughts. Helena steps forward as they circle around each other in the ring. Quick lock up as Dahmiir shoves Helena back but she aggressively charges forward locking up once more! But Dahmiir shoves her back into the corner until the referee forces the break.
Jake Mercer: Helena may need to approach this another way! Lock up! No! Helena ducks behind Dahmiir grabbing him from behind… but Dahmiir with a hard elbow shot to the back of her head! Helena falls back into the corner holding her head painfully.
Stew-O: Dahmiir now taunting Helena as they go to lock up once more… No! Fake out by Dahmiir with a kick to Helena’s gut! But she catches the leg! Corkscrew takedown! Helena holds onto the leg and bashes it into the mat! Dahmiir tries to roll out of the ring to escape but Helena grabs the leg! Dahmiir back up…
Flannery McCoy: Leg Sweep by Helena taking Dahmiir right back down! Leg lock applied in the middle of the ring!
Jake Mercer But Dahmiir reaches out grabbing the ropes and breaking things up! Helena is forced to back up. Dahmiir back up and he looks angry now. He charges forward wildly flailing his arms! But Helena ducks under his violent strikes! Helena grabs Dahmiir from behind!
Stew-O: SCHOOL GIRL ROLLUP!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stephie Love: Here is your winner… HEEEEEELENA MERRRRRRRRRRRRRIMAN!!!!
(“One Woman Army” by Porcelain Black hits to cheers from the crowd.)
Flannery McCoy: YAS! SHE DID IT!
Jake Mercer: Dahmiir Cozart is shook! Helena just stole this match!
Stew-O: Helena Merriman with an upset here tonight. Not that she wasn’t considered capable of winning this match, but with that ease! I don’t think anyone anticipated her night would be this easy!
(Dahmiir Cozart is shown angrily storming out of the ring and vowing revenge.)
Dahmiir Cozart: Oh yeah? Laugh it up. This was a fluke! Next time I don’t care who it is bitch or not they getting the shit kicked out of them. Gonna show these motherfuckers how we do in Crown Heights.
Flannery McCoy: Dahmiir is big mad. I hope Helena watches her back Dahmiir and his posse might jump her in a dark alleyway. But I hope that posse is ready to take on an entire army. A ONE WOMAN ARMY!!!
Stew-O: Helena Merriman looking impressive here tonight. I disagree that it was a fluke but time will tell!!!
(The camera cuts to a commercial for the “True Territorial Invasion” documentary featuring former EAW Elitist Cody Marshall defending United States territory from invading immigrants on the Mexican border.)
(We return from break as the show starts back up. We see a very elaborate room full of monitors, a plethora of iPads, and a a desk full of pictures of various Dynasty elitists as we see Michael Belfort curiously looking around. We see someone holding up the pictures but all we can see is their very bright and colorful hair as Belfort peeks around inside this very high tech room.)
Michael Belfort: Hello? I was told Serena Bennett would be here? I was looking to ask her a few questions about
???: Oh! Hey! Yeah! I’m over here!
(We see the person drop the pictures of Helena Merriman and Osamu Arcichida as we see it was Serena Bennett sitting at the desk this entire time. We see Serena smiling ear to ear, wearing an official “Dynasty” polo shirt and a Visor over her head. Serena has the match that just happened on one screen, a few matches playing on another screen, and a third screen with just various Elitist not exclusive to Dynasty such as Jamie O’Hara and Raven Roberts.)
Serena Bennett: Oh, don’t mind this mess. StarrStan has allowed me this entire room to conduct some thorough scouting for our War Games team this year!
Michael Belfort: Wow! This looks like what the NFL uses when they plan on drafting players to their rosters! You really are taking this whole captain title seriously, huh?
Serena Bennett: What? Did you think I was going to slack off and not do my job? You thought because I was black I was going to be lazy about this? Huh?
Michael Belfort: No! Absolutely not!
Serena Bennett: OH! It’s because I’m a woman! You don’t think a woman can lead Team Dynasty this year for War Games? That’s very sexist of you, Belfort! I should crack a bottle over your head like I did Kassidy Heart last week!
Michael Belfort: Dear god! No! I’m just here to ask a few questions I didn’t mean to insinuate or disturb or
Serena Bennett: Mike! Boo! I’m joking! Well, half way. I know people doubt that a woman like me, a BLACK woman at that…can or could be captain of Team Dynasty but that’s just what they are going to have to learn to accept. I’m the one entrusted with leading Team Dynasty this year and I do not plan on letting these people, this brand, or myself down! In fact, I had my cousin Snoop send me all these screens and shit so I can make the right decision on who exactly I want to join me and enter this year’s War Games as my partners!
Michael Belfort: Oh wow! That’s exciting! Is there anybody that has got on your radar so far as far as talent goes?
Serena Bennett: Well, I’m taking everything into account. You got newer Elitist like Helena Merriman and Lindsey Kingsley who have competed hard so far in their short time here. I’ll be honest, they might not be ready for such a fight just yet. Then you got guys who were former champions like Justin Windgate and Osamu Arcichida who are talented but also might not be right for this team. I’m watching them and everybody just in case I see something that makes them stand out, you feel me? Point is, I’m using tonight to help decide who I want to ride with me at Territorial Invasion. I’m watching every match and I’m even checking guys and girls past matches to see who will be worthy of me extending them spots on team Dynasty.
Michael Belfort: Is there one match in particular that has your interest peaked?
Serena Bennett: I will be honest. Remi Skyfire vs Darkane is one I am going to watch very closely. Me and Remi have had our run ins and Darkane is as sick as they come. Both are two of the best and toughest elitist going and I expect them to both show me something when they meet up! Who knows! I might invite them both to join me!
Michael Belfort: Wow! That’s such diligent work!
Serena Bennett: Of course. I’m not playing around. My eyes are on all elitists tonight. Even ones not competing tonight. Impact may not want to defend his title but maybe I can convince him to join me and team Dynasty? 9 time World Champion on our side might be enough to win it all this year. No stone will be left unturned. If Fatal Destiny stop dragging their legs and actually put up some effort, maybe I can bring them on? Maybe this becomes Serena and The Round Table? I don’t even know exactly who I want to team up with!
Michael Belfort: So many options!
Serena Bennett: I’ll tell you this, Belfort. I promise by the end of the night…I will have found the two elitist I want to join me on Team Dynasty. Now, scram cac! And next time you come around looking for an exclusive interview…remember…TALK TO ME NICE! K?
Michael Belfort: :lupe: ok!
(We leave Serena backstage monitoring all her footage as we return to the commentators desks.)
Flannery McCoy: I don’t know about you guys but I can’t help but STAN our Captain here on Dynasty. Serena Bennett is a world class athlete in her own right and this level of diligence and research gives me such high hopes on Team Dynasty being victorious this year at Territorial Invasion!
Jake Mercer: Not since Alexander the Great and Genghis Khan has someone this great come along to lead an army into battle. I also agree with Flannery, Serena Bennett is the Captain we wanted and deserve!
(We cut backstage again as we see Provençal standing behind the curtain looking excited and nervous at his prospects ahead.)
Provençal: my last time being in front of the EAW audience was not a favorable one. I went one on one with Jack Ripley and he took me to le school. Not like the type of schools my kids may one day attend. No. No. No. Rip Daddy took me to the school of hard knocks and made my strenuous and incredible training look novice like. But, I push forward! I will not let you down…
(We see Landerson walk in to frame and)
Crowd: LAN-DER-SON!!! LAN-DER-SON!!! LAN-DER-SON!!! LAN-DER-SON!!!
(Anyway, we see Landerson standing next to Provencal and next to him is a much taller young man who looks exactly like Landerson except massless.)
El Landerson: Provençal. Do not worry. I am here with you. As you can see, my son is here with me. Therefore, by the laws of attraction, my son is here with me and I’m here with you.
Provençal: Oui! I have sons, too. Daughters also. They all back home studying to make grades and go off to college of their choices some day thanks to the great Starr Stanley.
El Landerson: I know. I was there. I respect you Provençal and maybe after tonight when we win the tag team match up against The Fatal Destiny. We can tag team again and challenge The Heavenly Hell for their EAW Undisputed Unified United States Tag Team Championships of the World.
Provençal: It would be an honor to stand by your side and defeat The Fatal Destiny to earn a shot at the Tag Team Championships oh great El Landerson one!
El Landerson: I agree. What do you say son.
El Landerson’s son: I am here to root for my dad El Landerson and his tag team partner Provençal as you two. Take on Fatal Destiny tonight in your tag team match. I hope you two win your tag team match against Fatal Destiny and make StarStann allow you to face Cameron Ella Ava and a partner of her choosing for the number one contendership. To the tag team champions.
El Landerson: I love you my son.
El Landerson’s son: My dad I love you
El Landerson: I love you and my life. I love the EAW.
El Landerson’s son: I love you too dad. EAW is your home. I love EAW.
Provençal: I love the love.
El Landerson: Stop, let me finish. It’s time for us to win this tag team match with that The Fatal Destiny. On three. 123
El Landerson, El Landerson’s son, and Provençal: HERE COMES THE BOOM!
(All three out their fists inns circle and nod collectively as we fade out from this scene back in to the ring.)
Stephie Love: The following contest is a tag team match and is set for one fall! Introducing first…
(‘Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood’ by Santa Esmeralda plays as Provencal walks onto the stage to the delight of the crowd. He waves while smiling and waits on his partner.)
Flannery McCoy: Here comes maybe the biggest winner out of Operation Doomsday, Provencal! This gentleman has been on a bit of a tear lately, but he may run into some trouble here tonight! I spoke with him before the show and he emphasized to me that he had no intention of hitting a woman!
Stew-O: He’s certainly a gentleman, but we’ll see how long that manages to hold up tonight!
(Provencal’s music fades as ‘Here Comes the Boom’ by DMX, fet. Sean Paul and Alex Vargas takes over and the EAW Universe explodes in support as Landerson jogs onto the stage, shaking Provencal’s hand.)
Stew-O: HERE HE IS, THE GOAT! LANDERSON IS THE BEST TO EVER LACE UP A PAIR OF BOOTS!
Flannery McCoy: Maybe turn it down just a touch? We all love Landerson for sure, Stew, he’s a huge challenge for Fatal Destiny here tonight!
Jake Mercer: Little known fact, Landerson once beat a Great White shark in Mexico City once, this man is truly one of the greatest of all time!
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the team of Provencal and Landerson!
(Provencal and Landerson play to the crowd, stirring them up massively.)
Stephie Love: Introducing next..
(‘Fight Song’ by Sister Sin begins playing but rather than Fatal Destiny a man walks out onto the stage, strutting with confidence.)
Stew-o: That is Rick Vercetti, the mentor of the members of Fatal Destiny here tonight as well as their fallen leader Celes Dumont! His tough love may seem harsh, but one has to wonder if it’s enough to overcome Landerson and Provencal tonight?
(As Ricky awaits Miho and Karina strut out onto the stage with a confident swagger. Miho, full of energy, bounces on the balls of her feet and wears a look of excitement as the trio make their way to the ring.)
Stephie Love: Introducing, accompanied by Rick Vercetti, the team of Miho and Karina-Ann, Fatal Destiny!
(Rick takes up a position outside the ring as Karina and Miho enter. The three huddle in the corner, discussing strategy, as Stephie exits the ring and the official calls for the bell.)
(DING DING DING!)
Flannery McCoy: Look like Miho and Provencal are going to start things off, though the Unvictorious doesn’t seem happy about it! Miho rushes forward and leaps, landing a flying armdrag that sends her opponent to the mat! Quickly turning on her feet, she catches Provencal square in the face with a dropkick that lands exactly as Provencal was returning to his feet. She hits the ropes…running enziguri! Miho is a house on fire opening up here tonight!
Flannery McCoy: Miho needs to stay on her opponent though, she gave Provencal just enough time to recover and make his way to tag Landerson! Rick is yelling at her from ringside, and it’s a bit understandable, a more experienced wrestler wouldn’t have let that happen! Landerson rushes forward to meet Miho who attempts an armdrag, but Landerson flips onto his feet! He reverses the grip and, taking her arm, twists her into an arm wringer causing Miho to cry out in pain. Landerson throws a leg over and flips, sending Miho crashing to the mat.
Jake Mercer: Miho may be fast but the GOAT is faster! Landerson is hitting the ropes once again and as Miho regains her feet she is caught in a flying headscissors that sends her flying! Seeing his opponent on the mat, Landerson runs forward and leaps…senton! NO! Miho moved! She hits the ropes and lands a running ddt. She pulls Landerson to his feet…standing hurricanrana! Miho hooks the legs! The official quickly moves into position, but Landerson powers out before he can start the count!
Stew-O: It’ll take much more than that to keep Landerson down! Good effort from Miho, though, she was looking for a surprise upset! Landerson sweeps Miho’s legs from under her then rolls back away from her, regaining his feet. As Miho stands Landerson runs forward…springboard crossbody! Miho looks to her corner, she’s looking for a tag to Karina, and it’s hard to blame her! Rick slaps the mat in frustration as Landerson mocks him, acting like he’s wiping away tears, before turning back to Miho who catches Landerson in the midsection with a forearm shot!
Flannery McCoy: She fires off another one, rocking Landerson! The greatest Luchador of all time grabs at Miho, but she avoids him, rolls under, and leaps, making the tag to Karina!
Stew-O: The Silent Assassin enters the ring carefully, watching Landerson as he motioned for her to come take him on. That would be a mistake, in my opinion, she cannot match him in speed, Miho could barely keep up, Karina needs to work her style if she wants to win! Karina fakes a rush causing Landerson to duck in anticipation, and Karina kicks him in the face. She then moves forward and hooks the tights, delivering a nice looking suplex that leaves her opponent down.
Jake Mercer: Karina takes Landerson’s arm and looks to be setting up a cross armbreaker here, but Landerson tears his arm away and rolls away from Karina, regaining his feet. Watching her carefully, Landerson tags Provencal who still seems reluctant to enter the ring.
Stew-O: As Provencal enters the ring Karina rushes forward, but she’s stopped by The Joke, who holds his hands up.
Jake Mercer: A look of confusion is on her face as Provencal takes her hand and begins to speak…
Provencal (Off-Mic): Je rêve de tremper ma baguette dans ta soupe.
Jake Mercer: Escandalo!
Flannery McCoy: That’s Spanish.
(Karina’s look of confusion turns to one of anger and she slaps Provencal hard across the face.)
Flannery McCoy: OOF! Looks like Provencal forgot Karina speaks French! She takes his arm and whips him to the ropes…spinning heel kick off the rebound floors Provencal, Karina then lands a single leg drop kick, and Provencal is scrambling away trying to regain his bearings as Karina seems firmly in control of the match! Backed into the corner, Provencal has nowhere to go as Karins grabs him…Landerson with the save! Landerson landed a leaping kick from the outside to Karina, knocking her to the mat! Provencal makes the cover!
Referee: ONE! TWO!
Stew-O: Kick out from Karina, that kick caught her right in the temple and nearly was upset! Provencal seems unsure what to do now, though, he seems deadset against hitting either Miho or Karina, but he’s eventually going to have to get over that! He moves to check on Karina, who seems to be suffering some harsh after effects from that kick, it might have landed on the temple, and if so she’s going to be a little rocked.
Jake Mercer: Provencal helps Karina to her feet, but her stance is a little bit shaky. Provencal, look of concern on his brow, moves in to check on her….KARINA PUSHES HIM BACK SUDDENLY AND LANDS A HARD ROUNDHOUSE! PROVENCAL WAS SUCKERED IN!
Stew-O: Karina makes the tag to Miho who rushes across the ring and catches Landerson by surprise with a flying forearm, knocking him off the apron and into the Barricade!
Flannery McCoy: Miho has a golden opportunity here, Provencal has very little idea of what is going on, and she realizes it, stomping her foot, Miho is tuning up the band! Looks like Landerson is starting to get up on the outside though, but wait! As Landerson does, Rick starts making his way toward him and Karina calls the referee over, she appears to be complaining about something…looks like maybe the turnbuckle has been loosened…
Jake Mercer: Look at Karina, always looking out for her fellow wrestler! That loose turnbuckle could hurt someone!
Flannery McCoy: Suuuuuure…Rick measures Landerson…SUPERKICK! Landerson is out! At the same time in the ring Provencal has made it to his knees…DEADLY LITTLE MIHO! The knee to the face knocks Provencal out cold! Karina waves the ref off as Miho makes the cover!
(We quickly see a shot of Serena Bennett backstage as she winces at the attack from Miho.)
Serena Bennett backstage: Good shot, Miho. She’s a critical cunt at times but she can be really good if her and her partner stay focused! They just aren’t right for this War Games match but damn good showing!
(We cut back to the ring as Miho hooks the leg.)
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: Fatal Destiny done it! Their teamwork was just too much for Landerson and Provencal, expecialls with Rick Vercetti in the mix!
Stephie Love: Ladies and Gentlemen, here are your winners…Fatal Destiny!
(‘Fight Song’ begins playing as Miho is overjoyed with the win and can barely contain herself. Karina runs in with her and the two raise their arms in victory as Rick looks on almost emotionless.)
Stew-O: These two have been picking up steam following Operation: Doomsday!
Flannery McCoy: Yeah that’s another tag team win for FD. Rick Vercetti just may be putting them in prime position to make more noise in this ever growing tag team division.
(We cut backstage where we see Ronan Malosi rocking back and forth as the heat from his anger could be felt by everyone watching the feed play out.)
Ronan Malosi: I’m sick of this shit! I’ve been treated like trash since day one! Since day one! I’ve been trying to breakthrough, I’ve been fighting my heart out. Every man and woman they throw at me, I’ve ran through and beaten down. Sure, I got a few losses under my belt. So what?! Some of these guys go weeks without wins and yet they still get booked. Justin Windgate has like, two wins?
(Ronan shakes his head as he murmurs on.)
Ronan Malosi: Yet he got a match tonight and not me? This whole entire company is ran by bias carny trash. I was better off doing MMA instead of wasting my time and most importantly my career with these fools on Dynasty!
(Ronan hops from his locker room chair and smacks the hell out of his locker behind him as he begins huffing and puffing.)
Ronan Malosi: People out here making title demands and I can’t even get a chance to prove I’m good enough. Who do I have to kill to get a chance to be treated with some respect around here? I’m not some Joe Schmo or some average scrub. I’m an apex predator! Top of the food chain! Half of this company can’t survive against me if I was given the chance to really let loose!
???: Shit, who are you to complain?
(Casually strolling in is Mike Gambino. Mike shakes his head as Ronan continues to huff and puff with steam coming from his ears.)
Mike Gambino: You think you’ve had it bad?
Ronan Malosi: You goddamn right!
Mike Gambino: Imagine being me. Walking in and getting a win over Justin Windgate the week before Operation: Doomsday. I walk in to that FPV with some momentum only to get eliminated and ultimately lose to that cartoon clown Archimedes J. Manson!
Ronan Malosi: You stupid scumbag! I was in that match too! I lost as well!
Mike Gambino: Yeah, I almost forgot you were in that too! That sums up our careers thus far in EAW and especially here on Dynasty; forgettable.
Ronan Malosi: Wait…did you just call me forgettable?
Mike Gambino: no, stupid! I was just trying to explain how badly we’ve been treated here on Dynasty!
Ronan Malosi: Oh, I see…
Mike Gambino: You understand now?
Ronan Malosi: Yeah…I understand that you just called me stupid! You must have a death wish coming in here insulting me, rookie!
Mike Gambino: Rookie? You’ve only been here a few months then me! And the only thing I wish is that you would calm your roided self down and relax. I’m not the one you should be angry at, kid.
Ronan Malosi: All I know is I’m angry and you coming back here talking crap to me makes me want to rip your vocal chords out with my bare hands and toss them across this room!
Mike Gambino: Is that right? I’d love to see your ugly ass try!
???: Gentlemen, please. May we settle this discourse with some civility?
(In strolls Eric Havoc along with his girlfriend Tara Celeci. Eric has his hands behind his back as he and his girlfriend stand opposite Ronan and Mike who were both turning red with intensity.)
Ronan Malosi: What do YOU want? You want some of this, too?
Mike Gambino: Yeah, What the hell do you need, Eric?
Eric Havoc: I couldn’t help but overhear the predicament you two are in and I must say, I’m hearing a lot of my own sentiments in your statements. I too have been wronged and mistreated here on Dynasty. I see I’m not the only one frustrated, upset, pissed off, and ready to cause mayhem around here. I know you two have had some rough goings these past few months. You are not alone. In fact, I see something in you two that our unintelligent general manager StarrStan clearly has ignored.
Mike Gambino: Oh yeah? What is it you see that a hall of famer like Starr doesn’t see?
Ronan Malosi: Yeah!
Tara Celeci: Simple…my boyfriend and I see in you what Eric has been preaching this company needs desperately. He and I see two men misguided and left to fend on their own in the cold world of professional wrestling with no direction. No guidance. What we see is
Eric Havoc: TRUE DYNASTY TALENT!
Ronan Malosi: :lupe: Is that a real thing?
Mike Gambino: I swear I’ve heard you yelling that term for weeks and I’m convinced you don’t know what you’re saying.
Eric Havoc: How wrong can one person be? I see misused men and women like you and I understand the unlimited potential you have. But, instead of getting chances and legitimate competition…guys like you are being wasted. You go weeks being unrecognized and are treated like you aren’t as good as you really are. I watched as Ryan Adams gets to hijack and hold the Answers World Championship hostage and guys like Impact get to get as many title shots as they want. Look at Lethal Consequences! He lost to Impact and immediately is going after Jack Ripley and his title! One of us could easily be in that spot. Frankly, we deserve to be in that spot!
Tara Celeci: We know you guys saw what Eric did on Voltage! He made his mark and fired a shot across this company. Eric Havoc has started a war with EAW! A war with StarrStan, Voltage, Showdown, and anyone that isn’t TRULY TALENTED!
Eric Havoc: That’s right! Despite my win loss record, I’m shaking this company up! I’m ready to bring in a few, TRUE TALENTS, like yourselves! Join me! Join me and help me break this company in half and rebuild it in our image. An image defined not by comical antics and jokes. An image based on the one thing that should always matter over everything else here; TRUE FUCKING TALENT!
Tara Celeci: Or continue being wasted back here. Eating up catering and getting in to petty squabbles.
Eric Havoc: There is a war going on outside that no man is safe from. A rapper by the name of Havoc said that, no relations. Either stand on the sidelines or join me and make history!
Tara Celeci: See you two later…and think about that offer!
(We see the scene end as Ronan and Mike are left standing watching as Havoc and his girlfriend exit the scene.)
Stew-O: Someone should teach Eric Havoc more about hip hop. It wasn’t Havoc who said those lyrics, it was Prodigy. Both men were in the hip hop group Mobb Deep but yeah. A little off with his quote but a powerful statement was made besides that.
Jake Mercer: Wow I didn’t know you were a hip-hop head, Stew!
Stew-O: My Apple Music playlists would leave you shocked and in awe, Jake! Eric B for president!
Flannery McCoy: Rap music aside, Eric Havoc looks to have taken the small inspiration he received from “The Orchestrator” Osamu Arcichida and gone fully off the deep end. Eric Havoc has been nothing short of a menace but this may be taking things to the next level. He’s been a brute but he has shown to be very calculated and cunning. Lest we forget him masquerading as Ravage La Corte before ultimately blindsiding Landerson and Provençal weeks ago. Eric Havoc is capable of anything!
(A commercial break hits as we see an advertisement for Target starring Lindsey Kingsley. Little boners all around rise as she suggestively shows off some new Halloween candy while dressed as Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. Dynasty returns from break, and much to the surprise and delight of the fans inside the sold-out Bok Center in Tulsa, “Chun Li” by Nicki Minaj is blasting throughout the arena. The New Breed Champion, Felix Hartley, is standing at the broadcast booth, putting on a headset.)
Flannery McCoy: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Dynasty! As you can see we are unexpectedly being joined by the New Breed Champion, Felix Hartley.
Felix Hartley: I’m not sure why it’s so unexpected. I’m the biggest draw in this company, able to fuck off to whatever brand I want, when I want.
Stew-O: For those of you who don’t know, it was made official last week that at Territorial Invasion, Felix will be defending the New Breed Championship against Voltage’s Kai Zolomon, and our own here on Dynasty, Archimedes J. Manson.
Jake Mercer: I assume you’re out here unannounced because you have a vested interest in this match?
Felix Hartley (rolling her eyes): As if I care about some lowly match between Archimedes and Lindsey Kingsley. Until last week, I didn’t even know Archimedes J. Manson existed and I still don’t know who Lindsey Kingsley is. But what I am out here for is to remind everyone that last week on Voltage I made a mockery out of Kai Zolomon and sent a warning shot to Archimedes. I owe him for what he did to me last week on Showdown and I’m here to collect.
(It’s Flannery who goes to reply to Felix but the crowd erupting into a surprise round of applause stops her.)
(The camera cuts to the crowd where the fans are parting. Voltage Elitist, Kai Zolomon, is seen walking towards the guardrails. He slaps a few hands along the way before leaping over and landing with two feet on the floor.)
Felix Hartley: What do you want?
Kai Zolomon (Off Mic): A front row seat.
Stew-O: Uhhh, well. It looks like we are also going to be joined by Voltage’s own Kai Zolomon for this match…
(Kai is seen putting on a headset and smirking over at Felix.)
Kai Zolomon: The soon-to-be EAW New Breed Champion.
Felix Hartley: :usure:?
Kai Zolomon: :mjlit:
(‘Bad Decisions (Mashup)’ by Ariana Grande and Demi Lovato begins to blast across the PA system. The crowd rises to their feet and greets the EAW rookie with a huge round of applause.)
Stephie Love: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR…
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Stephie Love: MAKING HER WAY TO THE RING… FROM LANSING, MICHIGAN… PLEASE WELCOME… LINDSEY KINGSLEY!!!
(The popular Kingsley makes her way down to the ring with a look of confidence on her face. She’s more than excited for this challenge tonight, and who knows? Perhaps taking down one of the New Breed Championship contenders will lead Lindsey to a title shot of her own.)
Jake Mercer: Kingsley hasn’t had an easy time inside the ring during her tenure on Voltage so far, but she’s definitely made a splash backstage! :mjgrin:
Stew-O: Ahem. I’m not sure kissing random Elitists is what Lindsey really wants to be known for but nonetheless, she’s made quite an impression.
Jake Mercer: Jack Ripley and my flawless hair and name twin, Jake Smith, can attest to that.
(Lindsey slides into the ring and gets set for the match while her music fades out. It’s replaced by ‘Applause’ by Lady Gaga. The crowd reacts accordingly as Archimedes J. Manson steps onto the stage.)
Stephie Love: AND HER OPPONENT… FROM THE THE DIVIDED STATES OF HYSTERIA… PLEASE WELCOME… ARCHIMEDES J. MANSON!!!
Flannery McCoy: Here comes the man that could very well become the New Breed Champion in just a few weeks at the first Tri-Branded Free-Per-View of the season, Territorial Invasion! Archimedes J. Manson finds himself in a match against the two Elitists who are joining us for commentary this week, Kai Zolomon and the champ herself, Felix Hartley!
Felix Hartley: :mjpls:
Stew-O: Unexpectedly joining us.
Jake Mercer: Archimedes is pumped for this opportunity. I spoke to him today and he was telling me that he plans on using everything learned years ago in the dungeons of the Divided States of Hysteria to win that New Breed Championship and bring it back to Dynasty.
Kai Zolomon: Lets be real honest, Archimedes is by far the weak link in this match…
(Archimedes stops by the broadcast booth and locks his eyes on Felix. Felix stares right back at him before Archimedes breaks his graze and turns his attention to Kai. The two exchange a few words before the referee slips out of the ring and grabs Archimedes. He convinces him to get into the ring, and Archimedes takes his corner. He gets set for the match but can’t help but stare over at Felix and Kai. Archimedes watches in amusement as Felix and Kai argue amongst themselves. He’s completely unaware that the referee is in the process of calling for the bell and that Lindsey is sneaking up behind him.)
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: LINDSEY FROM BEHIND WITH A ROLL UP!
Flannery McCoy: KICK OUT!
(We cut quickly backstage where we see Serena Bennett watching with all eyes glued to this match.)
Serena Bennett backstage: Nice roll up. This lady may be older but she isn’t someone to play with. I don’t know if she is ready for a match like War Games but she seems like she could be decent with more time on Dynasty. This cartoon goofy isn’t half bad but I see he is going for that New Breed title and I doubt he is good enough to pull double duty. Hmm.
(We cut back to the action as we see Manson fight out of that roll up.)
Kai Zolomon: Archimedes J. Manson nearly made an even bigger ass out of himself by getting rolled up…
Felix Hartley: Which is saying a lot considering.
Kai Zolomon: Something we shockingly agree on.
Felix Hartley: Don’t get used to that.
Stew-O: Lindsey quickly goes for a dropkick, but Archimedes brushes it off, and grabs Lindsey by the ankle! She catches him in the knee with a kick, which prompts him to let go. Lindsey gets back up and hits Archimedes with several rapid fire forearm shots in a row! She is backing him up and into the corner and begins to stomp away at him. Lindsey takes off running towards the opposite side of the ring… HANDSPRING BACK ELBOW SM-
Jake Mercer: Not so fast! Archimedes gets his feet up and nails Lindsey in the back! She falls forward, catching herself on her knees, but Archimedes scrambles to the second rope and jumps off… catching Lindsey in the back with a diving double foot stomp! Lindsey just got flattened and Archimedes goes for the cover.
Kai Zolomon: Try harder, Archimedes.
Felix Hartley: And don’t even waste your time doing something like that come Territorial Invasion. That would never keep me down.
Flannery McCoy: Archimedes picks up Lindsey and whips her into the corner. He rushes forward looking for a corner clothesline but this time it’s Lindsey who gets her feet up! She nails Archimedes in the chest, and pushes herself out of the corner! She goes for a clothesline of her own, but Archimedes ducks and quickly grabs Lindsey, looking to take her down with a DDT! Lindsey pushes him off and whirls around… AND SHE SLAPS ARCHIMEDES RIGHT ACROSS THE KISSER!
Stew-O: That didn’t really settle well with Archimedes! He flies forward with a clothesline BUT LINDSEY WITH THAT MATRIX LIKE EVASION! SHE KICKS HER LEGS UP AND CATCHES ARCHIMEDES IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A KICK, AND GETS BACK TO HER FEET! LINDSEY GRABS ARCHIMEDES… RUNNING FACEBREAKER PLANTS HIM INTO THE MAT! LINDSEY WITH A COVER!
Jake Mercer: KICK OUT!
Kai Zolomon: So you’re really telling me that Archimedes J. Manson was the best Dynasty could offer the New Breed match?
Felix Hartley: … that awkward moment when we agree again.
Jake Mercer: Lindsey grabs Archimedes, who just last year was awarded The Divided States of Hysteria Lifetime Achievement Award for his dedication to combining comedy and wrestling, and Irish whips him into the corner! This time she connects with the handspring back elbow smash! Archimedes stumbles out of the corner and Lindsey springs forward! She jumps on the ropes… SPRINGBOARD ARM DR-
Kai Zolomon: NOPE! ARCHIMEDES CATCHES LINDSEY!
Flannery McCoy: REVERSE SUPLEX!
Stew-O: Archimedes rolls Lindsey up in a schoolboy… with a wedgie!
(The audience can literally hear Felix rolling her eyes to the back of her head. No words have to be spoken.)
Jake Mercer: Lindsey powers out of that humiliating pin.
Flannery McCoy: Archimedes has Lindsey by the hair, dragging her up, but Lindsey catches him with a solid right hand to the gut! She lands another, but Archimedes drives his knee into her face and hoists her up in the air into a military press position! Archimedes drops Lindsey with a double knee gutbuster and he calls that move ROFLMFAO!!!
Stew-O: Lindsey rolls towards the ropes, holding her gut, and Archimedes turns his attention to us!
Felix Hartley: More like to me.
(Felix stands up, holding up the New Breed Championship, and Archimedes motions towards his waist, right where he believes that championship belongs.)
Kai Zolomon (pointing behind Archimedes): You should probably turn around…
(Lindsey is pulling herself back up via the ropes, and once she’s vertical, she heads for Archimedes.)
Jake Mercer: The 1985 MILF of the Year launches herself at Archimedes! Thesz Press! Lindsey with several rights and lefts now, and she’s got Archimedes by the hair now and she is slamming his head into the mat! Archimedes finally muscles Lindsey off of him and tosses her to the side! He staggers to his feet, but Lindsey is back up too! She goes for a forearm, but Archimedes manages to block the shot! He throws Lindsey in the corner, hooks her arms, and unloads a massive chest chop!
Flannery McCoy: :damn: Look at the handprint that just formed on Lindsey’s chest!
Stew-O: Archimedes pulls Lindsay out of the corner and gets behind her! He wraps his arms around her waist… NO! ARCHIMEDES GRABS LINDSEY BY HER BREASTS AND SUPLEXES HER!
Felix Hartley: Ta-ta!
Kai Zolomon: That’s what he calls that move and he dumped Lindsey Kingsley right on her head.
Jake Mercer: Archimedes snatches Lindsey up again and throws her into the ropes! Lindsey rebounds, but Archimedes takes her down with another huge chop to the chest! Lindsey needs to get herself together because this match is getting out of hand for her. Archimedes knows his two Territorial Invasion opponents are watching this match and he’s looking to prove a point here tonight.
Kai Zolomon: I’m not entirely sure what point he’s trying to make. There’s not a lot this clown can throw at me that I haven’t seen before and that I won’t have some kind of counter for. I want that New Breed Championship and I’ll do whatever the fuck I have to do to win it.
Felix Hartley: You’re gunna have to slit my throat and hope I bleed out if you plan on winning MY championship. The longer I have this championship, the more people like you stay pissed off and at the bottom of the barrel here in EAW. I’m the New Breed Stallion, pussy.
Kai Zolomon: I’ll knock you right the fuck out.
Flannery McCoy: Ahem. Archimedes is down now, hammering away on Lindsey! Lindsey is definitely in trouble right now and she’s not putting up much of a fight. Despite coming up short to Osamu Archicida last week, he’s still carrying a lot of momentum and confidence. Winning the battle royal back at Operation: Doomsday was huge for him, and I know he wants this victory tonight as we make our way towards Territorial Invasion.
Stew-O: Archimedes is back up to his feet now and he’s climbing to the top rope! Archimedes walks the ropes and springs off landing a beautiful LOL-bow to Lindsey’s chest!
Jake Mercer: That diving elbow was voted the best elbow drop of 2011 by the readers of Esquire Magazine.
Felix Hartley & Kai Zolomon: :skip:
Flannery McCoy: Archimedes with the cover!
Stew-O: Lindsey lives!
Flannery McCoy: Lindsey is a tough cookie, and no one can really deny her that. She’s digging deep to keep herself in this match, and still hoping to turn it back in her favor. I admire Lindsey Kingsley because every time she steps inside the ring she is defying the odds.
Felix Hartley: Is that because she’s old as fuck and hasn’t broken a hip yet?
Jake Mercer: :joy:
Stew-O: Lindsey is crawling to the corner now and pulling herself back up BUT HERE COMES ARCHIMEDES WITH A RUNNING BIG BOOT! IT LANDS ON LINDSEY’S JAW AND SHE SLUMPS TO HER KNEES! ARCHIMEDES FOLLOWS IT UP WITH JK! JUST KICKING AND THE SUPERKICK ALSO CONNECTS WITH THE JAW! LINDSEY SEEMS TO BE OUT OF IT AND ARCHIMEDES IS ALL SMILES! HE HYPES UP THE CROWD AND WAIT A SECOND… THE HELL IS HE DOING?
Flannery McCoy: Well, it seems as if Mr. Manson has pants himself and he runs towards the corner… HITTING LINDSEY WITH HIS BACKSIDE! ARCHIMEDES STAYS IN PLACE AND IS ABOUT TO GIVE LINDSEY A STINKFACE!!!
Felix Hartley: Yawn.
Jake Mercer: BUT LINDSEY! LINDSEY DROPS OUT OF THE RING AND GRABS ARCHIMEDES BY THE ANKLES! SHE WISHBONES HIM AND ARCHIMEDES FINDS HIMSELF IN A WORLD OF HURT RIGHT NOW! LINDSEY WITH HER FOOT ON THE POST AND SHE IS MAKING ARCHIMEDES PAY FOR WHAT HE’S PUT HER THROUGH IN THIS MATCH!!
Referee: ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR…
Flannery McCoy: LINDSEY LETS GO AND SLIPS BACK INSIDE THE RING! RUNNING DROPKICK TO THE HEAD OF ARCHIMEDES!!! LINDSEY PULLS HIM OUT OF THE CORNER AND GOES FOR THE COVER!!!
Stew-O: KICK OUT!
Jake Mercer: LINDSEY GRABS ARCHIMEDES UP AND LOOKS TO WHIP HIM ACROSS THE RING… BUT ARCHIMEDES REVERSES IT AND TRIES TO CLOTHESLINE LINDSEY! SHE DUCKS AND FLIPS INTO A HANDSTAND, KICKING ARCHIMEDES IN THE HE- NO! HE GRABBED HER FOOT AND BRINGS HER BACK DOWN! ARCHIMEDES CLUBS HER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD AND THAT DROPS LINDSEY! ARCHIMEDES DEADLIFTS LINDSEY UP AND LOOKS TO HIT HER WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!
Flannery McCoy: BUT LINDSEY FLIPS FORWARD AND HAS ARCHIMEDES IN A PIN!
Stew-O: ARCHIMEDES KICKS OUT! HE ROLLS BACKWARDS AND UP TO HIS FEET, WHILE LINDSEY TRIES TO GET UP AS WELL! ARCHIMEDES WITH A HESITATION DROP KICK THOUGH! HE’S GOT LINDSEY DOWN! ARCHIMEDES IS FEELING IT AND THIS CROWD IS ON THEIR FEET! ARCHIMEDES DROPS BACK AND WAITS FOR LINDSEY TO STAGGER BACK TO HER FEET! LINDSEY IS SLOW TO GET UP BUT SHE IS UP, AND THERE GOES ARCHIMEDES!!!! ROLLING THUNDER CLOTHESLINE CONNECTS! ARCHIMEDES JUST ABSOLUTELY DESTROYS LINDSEY WITH THE PUNCHLINE AND HE IS GOING FOR THE COVER!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stephie Love: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… HERE IS YOUR WINNER… ARCHIMEDES J. MANSON!!!
(‘Applause’ by Lady Gaga begins to play once again and the referee raises Archimedes’ hand.)
Flannery McCoy: HUGE victory for Archimedes here tonight, and right in front of his Territorial Invasion opponents too! Lindsey Kingsley put up a great fight but it just wasn’t enough to get the job done at the end.
Stew-O: Archimedes has been lo-
(Stew-O is cut off by Kai dropping his headset and attacking Felix from behind!)
Jake Mercer: AND THERE THEY GO! KAI ZOLOMON LOOKING FOR REVENGE ON FELIX HARTLEY AFTER SHE GOT THE BETTER OF HIM ON VOLTAGE LAST WEEK! KAI HAS FELIX AND HE SLAMS HER FACE OFF THE BROADCAST BOOTH! KAI GRABBING FELIX AND DRAGGING HER OVER TO THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE NOW! FELIX FIGHTING BACK AND HITTING KAI IN THE GUT WITH SEVERAL RIGHT HANDS, BUT KAI KNEES HER IN THE FACE AND FOLLOWS THAT UP WITH AN UPPERCUT! FELIX FALLS BACK AGAINST THE BROADCAST TABLE AND KAI GRABS FELIX IN A WRISTLOCK!
Flannery McCoy: KAI IS LOOKING FOR DEATH GRID… HE LOOKS FOR THAT SHORT ARM ELBOW SMASH BUT FELIX BLOCKS! FELIX BLOCKS! SHE SLAMS HER FIST INTO KAI’S FACE AND THAT FORCES HIM TO BACK OFF! FELIX LOOKS TO TAKE HIM DOWN BUT KAI GETS HIS FOOT UP! HER HEAD SNAPS BACK AND KAI GRABS HER… SUPLEXING HER ON TOP OF THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE! KAI CLIMBS ON THE TABLE AND SNATCHES FELIX UP, BUT SHE CATCHES HIM IN THE GROIN! FELIX LOOKS TO GR-
Stew-O: ARCHIMEDES J. MANSON JUST FLEW FROM THE TOP ROPE AND CAUGHT FELIX HARTLEY WITH A CUTTER! THEY CRASH THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! CHAMP AND CHALLENGER ARE DOWN! KAI ZOLOMON MANAGED TO GET OUT OF THE DODGE JUST IN TIME! HE’S STARING AT THE CARNAGE, HOLDING HIS GROIN, AND JUST SHAKING HIS HEAD!
Jake Mercer: Oh man! These three aren’t holding anything back when it comes to one another! Kai and Archimedes want that championship and Felix refuses to give it up! I can’t wait to see what happens next between these three and honestly, the New Breed Championship match has the potential to steal the show come Territorial Invasion.
(The camera catches Kai walking off, before zooming in on Archimedes and Felix. Archimedes rolls out of the carnage and onto his back, but there’s no mistaking the smile on his face. Archimedes might be the underdog going into the match but tonight it was the underdog who made the biggest statement.)
(Dynasty fades to commercial break. We see a quick advertisement for Dynasty’s new collaboration with Supreme. It shows StarrStan ironically wearing some Supreme labeled apparel such as a box logo t-shirt and a ring bell painted red that says Supreme on it that likely will resale for thousands of dollars. We open up in front of a very dark, grim looking area. It looks much like the basement of the arena as we now see Max A. Million scurrying around with a microphone in his hand.)
Max A. Million: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Max A. Million! I am here in the boiler area of the arena as I am tasked with getting an exclusive interview with the one and only Darkane but I have been having trouble find him in this very spooky area. Luckily, monsieur Provençal’s daughter gave me this candle! I can illuminate this darkness, and maybe find sir Darkane! I just need a lighter…
(Max A. million pulls out a lighter and a whole candle from his pocket as he puts the microphone on the ground and lights the candle.)
Max A. Million: There we are! Now I can see that, OH MY GOD!
(Darkane appears from the darkness looking menacing and terrifying. Max is startled and nearly drops his candle but managed to catch it before it hits the floor. Darkane is face to face with Max and is holding a cigarette that he lights using the lit candle Max is holding.)
Max A. Million: Jesus! Darkane! You frightened me!
Max A. Million: Oh my, my underwear…
Darkane: :scusthov: Why are you rummaging around looking for me?
Max A. Million: Oh! I have some questions to ask you! Last week, TLA was very clear in saying he wasn’t done with you just yet. He had passionate rage in his eyes and a clear mission to get revenge on you for your actions at Operation: Doomsday! What are your thoughts on this?
Darkane: What actions? Do you mean me beating his ass in the middle of that ring? If so…I don’t give a shit. He is not getting any revenge. He does not get a redo or a rematch or anything of the sorts. TLA is a joke and the ending of our match was me turning that glorified comedian in to the punchline like I said I would. Besides, what can that soft Mexican do to me that PETA hasn’t been trying to do since Doomsday?
Max A. Million: I do not follow, Darkane.
Darkane: Fucking mutt! You’d think they would be up in arms about a mutt named STEROID dawg but, nah. They come after me. They’ve been harassing me since Operation: Doomsday nonstop with boycott this, boycott that. Darkane is an animal abuser! He doesn’t care about the well being of a dog even though it’s more jacked up than fucking Scott Diamond after a round of injections. In my defense, the ugly mutt was distracting ME from doing MY job. So I kicked the putrid thing in its face. I was justified and I wipe my ass with salty PETA tears. TLA is lucky that I didn’t gut its innards and serve up the fucking monstrosity for a barbeque. Him and that rabies having dog can suck my dick.
(Max mouth is left open after such heinous language from Darkane.)
Darkane: TLA, his dog, his poon, his compadres, his madre, and everybody he holds dear can all try to hold their breath underwater for 9 minutes straight. I can’t give less of a fuck about a human being or his background noise of a fanbase.
(The EAW crowd boos loudly as Darkane snarls before taking another puff of his cig.)
Darkane: Fuck you too for bothering me. Anything else?
Max A. Million: Um. Yes! You are set to face one half of The Valkyrie in Remi Skyfire, what do you have to say to her ahead of your main event match up?
Darkane: Darkane vs a useless dime a dozen truckstop dyke turned wrestler who habitually gets herself into pointless scrums over pussy. What’s more to say? Darcy isn’t here to save that miserable maggot and I’m going to pin her little head under my boot and squish it like a cockroach. Emphasis on the cock part since she’s allergic to dicks.
(Darkane mushes Max and makes him stumble to the floor as his lit candle falls on his suit.)
Max A. Million: OH GOD! IM ON FIRE! IM ON FI-
(The backstage footage ends as the crowd is booing Darkane for his remarks.)
Stew-O: Jesus. I know Remi is one of the toughest Elitist in EAW but Darkane seems to be ready to hurt her badly here tonight.
Flannery McCoy: Don’t discard Skyfire! She isn’t afraid of Darkane or his disgusting digs!
Jake Mercer: Damn, that man hates dogs!
(We cut from that bleak and dark moment to a bit more lighter one. Outside of the room Serena has taken over to do her scouting for her War Games partners, we see Darcy May Morgan and Remi Skyfire with their ears to the door trying to listen to what was going on.)
Darcy May Morgan: Can you hear her in there?
Remi Skyfire: I keep hearing random little comments and it sounded like she might have been on the phone for a second with SOSA Henderson. Or maybe Snoop Doggg. Whoever the hell it was mentioned something about new music and shit we don’t care about.
Darcy May Morgan: This broad is doing all this scouting when the two people she should be adding to that damn War Games team is us. The Valkyrie could win War Games by our damn selves. You and me deserve a chance to show off our tag team prowess and our forever growing chemistry!
Remi Skyfire: Yeah, StarrStan must be high on whatever Justin Windgate has been smoking to give him a chance we could have got! You and I actually won at the last FPV unlike little miss Captain here!
Darcy May Morgan: The only Captain I acknowledge is Charisma! Handsome ass Matt Daniels. I think I saw him lurking around here tonight.
Remi Skyfire: Ugh. I’m good on him. I’m just glad me and you agree on the same sexact thing with this war games
Darcy May Morgan: Wait. Back up. Did you mean exact?
Remi Skyfire: Um. That’s what I said. Exact! I’m glad we agree on the exact same thing for War Games, duh! Kassidy Heart best Serena’s ass like a drum! Beat her so bad she isn’t even allowed a rematch because EAW probably was scared of what Heart might do next! here I was thinking little miss Compton with her colorful hair and Crip Soda was bad. Meanwhile, Kassidy and those big ol lips proceeded to stomp that girl’s arm and bend it in a way nobody’s arm is supposed to bend! Not gonna lie…I don’t like her but that was kind of sexy!
Darcy May Morgan: Um…ok.
Remi Skyfire: LOOK! My point is, ever since Kass whipped Serena ass people have acted like Bennett still belongs near the top of not just the women’s division but Dynasty as well. This “Captain” shit is just her getting something she clearly doesn’t deserve! We both deserve that spot over her! I blame that StarrStan and his foolish, stupid
Darcy May Morgan: Rem!
Remi Skyfire: Ugly, bald,
Darcy May Morgan: HEY! REMI!
Remi Skyfire: Musty, Dusty,
Darcy May Morgan: GIRL! SHUT UP STOP TALKING STOP!
Remi Skyfire: No good ass for giving away UH!!!!
(A hand is placed on REMI’S shoulder as we pan out and see the one and only StarrStan standing there with a :cmon: look on his face.)
Remi Skyfire: Oh look, it’s our beloved and favorite hall of fame inductee! What’s going on Starr Sta-
StarrStan: Shush. Not another word. I heard everything you said.
Darcy May Morgan: Ah shit.
Remi Skyfire: Look, my bad. Darkane has me all heated and angry and I’m just trying to channel that anger in to him tonight. I slipped! I didn’t mean it. Plus I’ve been drinking. You know I like the sauce, right?!
StarrStan: Save it. Besides that little rant about my appearance and my smell…you have a point there. Not the crap about Serena Bennett because despite where you think she ranks, she did beat you weeks ago! But with that said…I do like you two together. Darcy and Remi, The Valkyrie! You two have been two of the better members of Dynasty and you should have a chance to be featured on this year’s Territorial Invasion show. Serena is in charge with picking her partners but I am in charge of every single thing else. Including who will enter this year’s Divide & Conquer match. You two feel like you deserve the spotlight, well the spot light is on for you guys next week. You two will face a tag team of my choosing and whoever wins is going on to the Divide & Conquer match up to represent Dynasty. I will also have another match to decide who will earn the remaining two spots for D&C as well.
Remi Skyfire: Ah! Thanks, StarrStan! My bad about
StarrStan: Hey, Darcy!
Darcy May Morgan: Yes, Starr?
StarrStan: Maybe next time, just shove something in her mouth before she talks you guys in to a hole your talent and skills won’t be able to pull you out of. I already have one psychopath running around in my doghouse, I don’t want to have to put us leash on you two as well! Keep your girlfriend in check and good luck tonight, Remi.
(StarrStan was a finger at Remi as she pretends to bite it with her teeth.)
Darcy May Morgan: Girlfriend? What is up with that! That’s like the fifth person I’ve heard throw that out there. We are just really good friends and really great tag team partners!
Remi Skyfire: Haha Yeah!
Darcy May Morgan: I mean, where do they get ideas like that?
(Darcy shrugs her shoulders and walks out of frame as Remi bites her bottom lip and stares at her as she leaves.)
Remi Skyfire: …I have no earthly idea.
Stew-O: Divide And Conquer qualifiers next week! The Valkyrie together against two others and another match featuring some more top tier elitist!
Jake Mercer: I don’t know about you guys but, Remi was staring at Darcy like Gavin stares at any woman with blonde hair ever in life ever!
Flannery McCoy: Maybe you are seeing things but Darcy made it clear that these two have their eyes on victory and nothing else!
(We leave the backstage area and return ringside. The camera cuts to Stephie Love in the ring as she raises the microphone to her lips.)
Stephie Love: The following contest is scheduled for O-
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Stephie Love: Oh you cutting me off now?
Stephie Love: It’s aight baby. Listen to momma Stephie introduce this match now for all you sweet lil thangs.
(Sensei – Datsik hits to boos from the crowd.)
Stephie Love: Introducing first from Osaka, Japan weighing in at 235 pounds… OSAMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ARRRRRRRRRCICHIDA!!!!
(Osamu Arcichida steps out onto the stage looking suspicious as if to indicate that he is orchestrating something.)
Jake Mercer: THIS MAN! HE HAS HEADLINED THE TOKYO DOME SO MANY TIMES! I AM LITERALLY NOT WORTHY!
Flannery McCoy: Calm down Jake!
Jake Mercer: I’M SEEING STARS! STARS THAT I WILL BE AWARDING THIS MATCH!!! AHHHH!!!
Stew-O: I think that we lost Jake. However, he is not wrong that this will be an interesting match. Osamu Arcichida has been rumored to be attacking people lately and may be dealing with a lawsuit. The legal process is complicated and stressful so I am sure he is looking to take out some of that tonight on his opponent!
Flannery McCoy: You have to imagine that having a name so close to Osama makes dealing with the American legal system much harder than it already is. Osamu has really been going in on Jake. He even called him out for his constant failures at capturing the tag team titles on so many occasions! Not only that but he has claimed that Jake Smith will only continue to fail at all of his title pursuits! You have to imagine that Jake was entirely SHOOK by those comments!
Jake Mercer: Honestly I don’t really care about the whole Funimation scandal. I only listen to the Japanese audio anyway because I am a true fan. Subs before dubs baby!
Stew-O: What does that have to do with the match?
Flannery McCoy: Just don’t even ask… He is lost in weeb world from the moment Osamu’s music hit.
(“Here We Go” by Sleeping With Sirens hits to boos from the Oklahoman crowd.)
Stephie Love: And his opponent currently residing in Atlantic City, New Jersey weighing in at 210 pounds he is “The Ambitionist” JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE SMIIIIIIIIIIIITHHHH!!!!
(Jake Smith makes his way to the ring giving the finger to the audience for booing him.)
Jake Mercer: My name twin! Too bad he has never main evented the Tokyo Dome so I can’t support him. Or wait… maybe he has!
Flannery McCoy: I feel like you will be claiming he has by the next match…
Stew-O: Jake Smith was quite enraged with Osamu’s comments and said some very mean and cruel things about him this week. For you see Osamu called Jake out for constantly losing and failing but Osamu has quite a record of taking Ls himself! He was throwing them stones from his glass house and after Jake fired back on him Osamu had nothing else to say!
Jake Mercer: Pfttt… he’s Japanese Stew. He probably just didn’t understand what Jake was saying. I know I didn’t. I mean how could you understand the disrespect he showed to a true legend of the sacred art of puroresu?
Flannery McCoy: Jake Smith believes that he is better than Osamu Arcichida and in spite of the losses Osamu pointed out Jake noted that he has won some big matches as well and even went as far as calling Osamu dumb!
Stew-O: Damn that is one of the most savage insults one man can call another man. I think it is safe to say that this match has become very personal.
(DING! DING! DING!)
Jake Mercer: We are underway as both men step across the ring staring each other down intensely. Osamu screams angrily in Jake’s face as Jake just smirks back cockily clearly unintimidated. Suddenly Osamu chops hard across the chest of Jake Smith! A thunderous chop shaking across the entire arena is heard. But Jake raises his hand… and he slaps down a hard chop of his own on the chest of Osamu!
Stew-O: Wow what a noise that made!
Jake Mercer: However, Osamu refuses to betray even a single look of pain as he glares back at Jake with absolute defiance. He raises his hand once more… SLAP! But Jake retaliates! SLAP! Back and forth they go beating each other’s chests raw with this duel of chops.
Stew-O: Who will be the first to falter?
Flannery McCoy: It looks like Osamu has the advantage here! He got two chops off before Jake could even get one! SLAP! SLAP! Jake’s energy seems to be fading! That chop did not echo as much as the others so clearly it wasn’t as effective! Osamu with a chop to the head! Jake sent reeling back against the ropes as Osamu assumes a martial arts stance… Jake bounces back…
Stew-O: ENZUIGIRI CONNECTS! Osamu leaps into the cover!!!
Stew-O: Kickout by Jake Smith!
Jake Mercer: I’m shocked! Well Jake is a great competitor so he is going to keep fighting. Osamu Arcichida waiting for Jake to get back up to his feet. He looks like he is going to hit another hard hitting maneuver the moment Jake Smith makes his comeback into this match. Jake back up… ENZUIGIRI CONNECTS!!
Flannery McCoy: NO! JAKE MOVED OUT OF THE WAY! OSAMU LANDED ON HIS FEET WHAT ATHLETICISM!!!
Stew-O: Wait Jake Smith with a Rollup from behind on Osamu Arcichida!!!
Jake Mercer: Osamu kicked out! But that was close! Jake almost stole the win right there!!!
Flannery McCoy: Both men back up as they survey each other warily. The crowd gives a respectful cheer for both men for their efforts thus far in this match. Jake Smith makes the first move as he shoves his arm into the face of Osamu Arcichida!! Running forearm smash!!!
Stew-O: It connects! But Osamu Arcichida spins around from the impact catching Jake Smith with his elbow on the back of his head. Both men sent flying by the impact back against the ropes. They charge forward… LARIAT!!!!
(We see Serena backstage sipping a bottle of Crip-A-Cola watching both these men have at each other in the ring.)
Serena Bennett backstage: Shit! Jake has been going hard since the Draft. He looked good against Jack Ripley when that National Elite title was on the line. BUT…he did lose! I mean, I lost also. I guess I can’t hold that against him. Osamu was on fire after the draft also! But, he got taken out unceremoniously at Doomsday. He did beat up the New Breed number one contender last week also. I don’t know…they both are good but I don’t know if they are War Games ready yet!
(We are shown the ring again as Jake and Osamu are laid out in the ring.)
Jake Mercer: A Lariat from both men! The double clothesline takes them both down in the ring but Osamu holds on to Jake’s hair! He drags him back up.. and he lifts Jake Smith up above his head!!!! Here it comes!!!
Osamu Arcichida: I AM THE ORCHESTRATOR OF YOUR DEMISE!!!!
Flannery McCoy: CLASSIVE AGGRESSIVE!!!!
Stew-O: NO! JAKE SMITH BROKE FREE AND LANDED ON HIS FEET BEHIND OSAMU! HE GRABS OSAMU’S NECK!!!
Jake Mercer: BROKEN WINGS!!! IT CONNECTS! THAT’S GOTTA BE IT! THE COVER BY JAKE SMITH!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Here We Go” by Sleeping With Sirens hits as the crowd boos angrily. Some members of the crowd are shown sitting around square tables in order to directly insult Jake in the most disrespectful way possible.)
Stew-O: Damn Jake struck out of nowhere and Osamu paid the price!
Flannery McCoy: Osamu came pretty close tho. You have to imagine that if he had managed to hit that Muscle Buster the result could be much different.
Jake Mercer: Well I am glad that my name twin won this match. However this is a very sad day for Japan. I sure hope Miho Li’s nudes drop because I’m not sure what else can cheer me up. Now I know how all those people in Japan who commit suicide every year feel.
Stew-O: The last letter of my name has never been more relevant than it is now.
Flannery McCoy: O.
(The camera cuts to a commercial for the Jake Smith vs. Justiciar Eric – Feud of the Year collection. 5 discs plus a secret bonus VHS tape featuring never before seen footage narrated by Eric Havoc himself! Find out his side of the story today!)
(“Stitch” by Wage War blasts and the fans in Tulsa quickly get on their feet as out walks Jack Ripley.)
Jake Mercer: The National Elite champion went from a main event win to being ran down and beaten by Lethal Consequences at the end of last week’s Friday Night Dynasty! I haven’t seen such an attack since 07 when Frisky Rango snuck and beatdown Contessuela Ava in the middle of Mexico.
Flannery McCoy: Contess-who?
Jake Mercer: Yeah, there was another Ava sister.
Stew-O: Jack was blindsided just like we all were as Lethal made it clear since he was no longer allowed to challenge for the World title, that he was setting his eyes on Ripley’s Championship now!
(Ripley enters the ring and is wearing a bitter expression on his face as he is handed a microphone from Stephie Love.)
Jack Ripley: Is that how we do things around here? Every time a guy wants a title shot he can just run down the champ, beat him up, and pose with his belt? Is this what makes someone qualified for a shot at the National Elite Championship?
Jake Mercer: I mean, it does happen a lot!
Jack Ripley: Lethal Consequences you cowardly bastard. You think dressing up as Landerson and coming from out of no where to bash me in the head and leave me sprawled our the ring like road kill is going to be your way of getting my attention, then guess what? You got my attention! You are going to wish to god in heaven that you didn’t because now…now I’m going to shoot you right between the eyes and leave you laid out worst than Impact did the last time you challenged for a championship. Oh yeah, I won’t need HRDO as my referee either!
(The crowd roars as Ripley paces back and forth.)
Jack Ripley: I am currently the longest reigning champion in EAW and I will remain the longest reigning champion in EAW until a REAL challenger steps up and knocks me off. You want to skip the line and get your ass kicked AGAIN over another title you don’t even deserve a shot at? I have no problem with doing that. In case you haven’t seen what I did to Jake Smith and Provençal these past two weeks, maybe you need an up close and personal viewing of your own. You are a life long loser. An all time failure. Yeah, two time hall of famer but in this era? You are beyond past your prime. You are as expired as week old milk. You think sneaking up on me is your fast way to getting back to being relevant than
(“Friend vs Friend” by Company Flow blasts as the hype for Ripley turns to heat for the man walking out next. Out comes Lethal Consequences with a smug look on his face as he twirls a microphone in his hands and stands in stage.)
Lethal Consequences: Fuck is up, Rip Daddy?
Jack Ripley: You know what’s up! You food in the mustache, cheap whore. I’m going to tear you away like a scab for what you did to me last week. You coward! I knew in the back of my head after we teamed up a few weeks ago to defeat Impact and Jake Smith when you stole that pin from me that I’d have to deal with you again. I just didn’t think you would be the one gunning for me and not the other way around. Well, you got my attention and if you come to this ring…you can see what my attention gets you!
Lethal Consequences: Hmm. Nah. Fuck that.
Jack Ripley: Fucking coward…scum bag! Of course you are afraid to come down here and face me like a man.
Lethal Consequences: I think that’s funny. “Like a man”. That’s what you think would make me a man? Huh? If I come down to that ring right there, get in your face, beat your musty ass pillar to post, stand on your damn neck, push every bit of air out of your lungs with each stomp to your body, and then take that National Elite Championship on home with me? Sounds nice. It’ll sound better when I do all those things to you at Territorial Invasion.
Jack Ripley: You want me at Territorial Invasion? Fine. We can put the title on the line, too. I’m the fighting champion that this belt needs and if shutting you up and kicking your ass is what you desperately want then I will oblige. I’ll make a holiday out of it. “Rip kicks LC’s ass for 25 minutes straight” day. We can have a parade with a 30 foot float crafted of my foot on your chest as I defend my National Elite title and stomp the last bit of your career in to the earth!
Lethal Consequences: Cool. That sounds like some fun fairy tale shit. Real fun. You know what else sounds like fun? Lindsey Kingsley :dave:
(Jack is confused.
Lethal Consequences: Oh shit! The big shooter man looks puzzled. That name not stirring up some heart eyes? Surprised you haven’t popped a chub off the mentioning of her name! Seeing as you was all up her asshole when she was in front of you last week! Let me guess? You forgot. All these judgmental, crack head fans might have forgotten as well. It’s cool. I know what y’all need. A refresher. A reminder. Yep. Johnny in that production truck, roll that queues up footage for me and let’s remind the champ of his behavior prior to last weeks main event?
(All eyes are on the tron. We see Max A. Million interviewing Jack Ripley as The Most Valuable Milf Lindsey Kingsley appears looking amazing and very hot. Kingsley does some slight flirting as Ripley is shown getting a kiss on the cheek and he and Max seemingly watch as she switches her hips and leaves the scene. We cut back to the ring as Ripley is pointing at the screen with pure anger.)
Jack Ripley: Come the fuck on! That little slut came up to me, kissed me on the cheek, and initiated all that! Let me guess, this means something?
Lethal Consequences: Nah, not to me. LC don’t really give a shit what you up to with your dick. Everybody gets lonely on the road. Some turn to pornhub, others just used Kassidy Heart’s latest photo shoots to get the job done. But, I wonder if your wife is cool with that type of behavior. Maybe y’all got an understanding going on…you get to fuck with blondes like that privately and get to portray this loving and loyal husband bullshit to the fans. That’s where I’m upset. Not just for me but these fans that fall for your lies. I may be a scum bag to you, but I’m not all in the cameras telling everybody how much I love my wife and then parade my mistress on tv like that. I don’t even think Ryan Adams or Impact is that shitty. Rip Daddy out here rippin’ alright, huh?
Jack Ripley: You idiot, I didn’t do shit with that girl. She kissed my cheek and we all know she’s been doing that shit for weeks. She kissed Jake Smith the night of Operation: Doomsday! Clearly this milf is searching for a champ or somebody to get next to but best believe j have non relationships with her or any other woman besides my wife!
Lethal Consequences: Word? That’s not what this USB file says to that.
(Lethal reaches in his pocket and reveals a thumb drive and waves it around as Ripley looks even more confused.)
Lethal Consequences: Ye, it’s you. And her. And sex. Y’all on some unrated Cinemax shit, boy. I wonder if your wife would be cool if I show the world what type of husband she has next week live on Dynasty?
Jack Ripley: You are a fucking liar! I never touched that woman! I gave a look and and she pecked my cheek but thats fucking it! You don’t have shit in that usb but 700 terrible instrumentals and a likely child porn you creepy old man! I’m going to kill you LC!
Lethal Consequences: Yeah, that’s what you said to Lindsey Kingsley’s vagina. I’ll see you next week for the world premiere. Lethal Consequences and Adobe House Productions presents: “Jack’s Ripping Kingsley RAW!” Parents, keep your kids away from this because it’s going to be vividly nasty. See you next week, Rip. :dave:
(LC’s music hits as he waves that USB around. Jack stomps in anger as he is sure of himself that Lethal Consequences is lying.)
Flannery McCoy: Lethal is on the offense, insinuating that Ripley is being unfaithful with his wife with one of EAW’s newest members in Lindsey Kingsley!
Stew-O: Lethal dealt with mind games last month against Impact but it looks like he is the one pushing his opponents buttons. Showing that footage again doesn’t exactly give Ripley the best defense against such allegations as he wasn’t resisting Lindsey’s kiss and he and Max A. Million were definitely watching her as she left them both standing there.
Jake Mercer: Everyone knows Jack loves his wife. But, let’s play devils advocate. If Ripley WAS to cheat…why not the Most Valuable Milf? You could bounce a quarter off that ass!
(We fade from an angry Ripley to a gambling scene as we see Mike Gambino rolling dice advertising The Gambino Family Casino and Resort in Atlantic City. Mike rolls the dice and craps out before snapping his fingers and shrugging. We return to Friday Night Dynasty with Stephie Love in the ring.)
The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first…
(‘Avalanche’ by Bring Me the Horizon’ begins to play and Eric Havoc steps out to a hugely negative response from the crowd. Havoc poses briefly on the entrance ramp and with a cocky swagger, he walks slowly to the ring.)
Stephie Love: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first… from Jacksonville, Florida, weighing in tonight at 220 pounds, he is THE OONNNNNEEEEEEE! ERICCCCCCCC HAVOC!!!
Jake Mercer: It looks like Eric Havoc is doing a great job of setting aside his anxiety and mental health problems to come into this match confident and ready to pick up a big victory tonight.
Flannery McCoy: Despite claiming to be one of the true talents on Dynasty, Eric Havoc hasn’t had much success as of late, and surely tonight a win against Justin Windgate would be huge for him.
(‘El Diablo’ by Machine Gun Kelly hits and the arena rises to their feet as Justin Windgate makes his entrance to the ring. Fans can be heard chanting ‘Xtreme’ and ‘Justin’ as he makes his way to the ring.)
Stephie Love: And his opponent! From Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 225 pounds, he is THE XTREME CLASSIC! JUSTINNNNNNN WIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNDGATE!
Stew-O: Last week, Justin Windgate went to a draw with Jake Smith in a classic match and frankly, many are hoping to see that same match again.
Jake Mercer: Perhaps they are but tonight it’s Eric Havoc and Windgate. Both men are within five pounds of each other. Windgate is 6’3, Havoc is 6’2. This is a very even matchup.
Flannery McCoy: Not sure how even it is, but we’ll let you believe that.
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stew-O: And we open up with Eric Havoc putting his hand on the face of Justin Windgate and shoving him to the ground!
Eric Havoc: (off mic) I HAVE SOMETHING TO GET OFF MY CHES-
Flanney McCoy: Look out! Justin Windgate kips up and… SUPER KICK! HE SUPER KICKS HAVOC AND HAVOC IS FLAT ON HIS BACK! THE PIN!
Jake Mercer: HAVOC KICKS OUT BUT I THINK HE NEEDS SOME XANAX AS THIS WILL SURELY CAUSE AN ANXIETY ATTACK!
Flannery McCoy: :usure:
Stew-O: WINDGATE! STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS HITS HAVOC! ANOTHER PIN, WINDGATE HOOKS THE LEG THIS TIME!
Jake Mercer: HE DOES IT AGAIN! Havoc stays in the match, the resiliency of this man is absolutely incredible!
Stew-O: Windgate has only hit two moves, for the love of God!
Flannery McCoy: Back on the attack, Justin Windgate looks to go to the top rope for a big move, he has something huge in mind!!
Jake Mercer: NOPE! Eric Havoc just rolled out of the ring. That in-ring IQ, that veteran experience, this man knows what he’s doing! Viva La Revolution!
Stew-O: Justin Windgate steps down from the top turnbuckle. What’s Eric Havoc doing, is- is that a microphone?!?
(Eric Havoc has grabbed a microphone but he is breathing heavily and holding his ribs, he puts up his index finger as he bends over, resting his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.)
Eric Havoc: I-
Flannery McCoy: RUNNING SENTON! JUSTIN WINDGATE JUST CRASHED DOWN ONTO ERIC HAVOC FROM THE RING!
(A replay is shown of the move)
Stew-O: The referee is counting now! But Justin Windgate is already back on his feet.
Jake Mercer: NO! Get up, Eric! YOU HAVE A REVOLUTION TO UPHOLD!
Stew-O: Justin Windgate is begging Havoc to get on his feet… and he finally does! Windgate charges at Havoc! SPEAR!
Flannery McCoy: NO! HAVOC MOVED OUT OF THE WAY IN JUST THE KNICK OF TIME AND HE THREW WINDGATE DIRECTLY INTO THE BARRICADE!
Jake Mercer: What ferocity! Eric Havoc shows such tremendous fortitude!
Stew-O: Havoc looks pretty proud of himself for getting this bit of offense in, but he’s going to need to stay on the attack to win this match. And it can’t be won outside the ring, ya dope!
Flannery McCoy: Justin Windgate is stirring now, but Eric Havoc doesn’t offer him much time to recover. These men also need to get back into the ring. Havoc picks up Windgate by the hair, looking to toss him back into that ring. But Windgate offers up an elbow right into the ribs of Havoc. And another sends Havoc stumbling back! Windgate smashes Havoc’s head onto the ring apron!
Stew-O: Windgate has the sense now to send Havoc back into the ring, breaking up that count, and Windgate quickly ascends to the apron…
Jake Mercer: Havoc is coming back here, but this corporate kiss-ass, this StarrStan stan!!! Is doing the dirty work for him. Such a shame!
Stew-O: Havoc’s on his feet!
Flannery McCoy: SPRINGBORAD FROM WINDGATE! AND HE HITS HAVOC WITH A HUGE HURRICANRANA!
Jake Mercer: Come on Eric!
Stew-O: Can you be a little bit fair and balanced for once?
Jake Mercer: I’m not Fox News, bitch!
Flannery McCoy: Windgate snaps back up to his feet. Eric Havoc is downed and sitting in the corner. Justin Windgate points the gun at him and pulls the trigger. HE CHARGES!
Stew-O: My God! Justin Windgate just served up a brutal knee to the face of Eric Havoc and he looks knocked out. WINDGATE ISN’T DONE THOUGH, HE’S SIGNALING THE TOP ROPE!
Stew-O: He’s looking for the X-Factor! THAT SHOOTING STAR PRESS!
Crowd: X-TREME! X-TREME! X-TREME!
Flannery McCoy: AND HE FLIES-
Jake Mercer: BUT HAVOC ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!!! JUSTIN WINDGATE JUST LANDED FLAT ON HIS FACE AND ERIC HAVOC, BEING THE REVOLUTIONARY GENIUS HE IS, JUST AVOIDED SURE CALAMITY!
Flannery McCoy: Havoc realizes now what he was able to do and he crawls his way over to Windgate. HE’S ABLE TO PUT HIS ARM OVER HIM!
Stew-O: Windgate gets the shoulder up, but he is definitely hurt from missing that huge shooting star press. Windgate gets so much air with that move, to not connect, means a world of hurt.
Jake Mercer: Eric Havoc holds his jaw in place, but he is finally starting to get back to his feet. Using the ropes for leverage, Havoc is able to get back to his feet. Havoc picks up Justin Windgate… AND SENDS HIM BACK TO THE MAT WITH A SNAP-DDT! HE COVERS!
Flannery McCoy: Windgate kicks out! Havoc is beside himself, he can’t believe that didn’t finish the match, despite him receiving only bits of offense here. Havoc is taking up the issue with the referee now!
Eric Havoc: (off mic) You corporate stooge! You work for StarrStan? Huh? YOU WORK FOR HIM?
(Eric shoves the confused referee)
Jake Mercer: Oh no, Eric’s anxiety is really flaring up right now! I flew to Peru and got some medicine which Doctors there say will surely prevent these kind of attac-
Stew-O: HAVOC WASTED TOO MUCH TIME! WINDGATE IS BACK ON HIS FEET. HAVOC TURNS AROUND….
Flannery McCoy: HAVOC DUCKS A HUGE SUPERKICK! Windgate turns back around. ERIC SWINGS!
Stew-O: But NO, Justin Windgate ducks! Windgate swings back around…. AND HE CONNECTS WITH A HUGE RIGHT FOREARM!
Flannery McCoy: BUT HAVOC RETURNS THE FAVOR AND SLAPS WINDGATE!
Stew-O: … LIGHTS OUT! LIGHTS OUT! JUSTIN WINDGATE JUST HIT THAT REVERSE CUTTER OUT OF ABSOLUTELY NO WHERE! HE DROPS DOWN FOR THE PIN AND HOOKS ERIC’S LEGS!
Jake Mercer: :damn:
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stew-O: Another loss in the record books for Eric Havoc. How many does that make it now? I’m not quite sure, but what I do know is that Eric Havoc is on a losing streak and one which he blames StarrStan and EAW management entirely for.
Jake Mercer: And he has every right to! These guys are why he can’t pick up a win, the corruption and favoritism of StarrStan. I mean, come on, Eric Havoc should be toe to toe with world champions like Impact and DDD!
Flannery McCoy: Havoc has another loss on the record tonight, but Justin Windgate just picked up his first big win in weeks after a double count-out took the victory over Jake Smith from him last week. Surely a huge momentum booster for the young up and comer!
(Eric Havoc rises from the ground and walks over to Justin as he climbs the turnbuckle and celebrates. Justin hops down and turns to see Eric face to face with him. Justin looks back and prepares himself for another fight until.)
Stew-O: LOOK! ERIC HAVOC…EXTENDS HIS HAND!
Flannery McCoy: I was positive Eric was going to attack Justin! Another loss definitely isn’t something he can afford especially with his standing in the company following that attack on Korey Gaines!
Eric Havoc off mic: Listen, screw what everyone thinks of me. Screw what people see when they see you. I may not smoke Mary Jane but I don’t see a lazy stoner who can’t get the job. I desperately needed this win but you earned it. Congratulations, Justin. Maybe we can take this match, put it behind us…and you join me in my war against EAW? You jointing THE REVOLUTION UNDER ERIC initiative would be a beautiful thing, don’t you agree?
(Eric has his hand extended as Justin looks weary. Windgate looks at the hand then at Eric and shakes his head as fans cheer. Justin rolls out the ring and his music plays once again as Eric stands there shocked but smirking at Justin’s decision.)
Stew-O: Eric is still recruiting Elitist in his war on EAW!
Jake Mercer: He is a regular Jim Harbaugh out here, Stew!
(We open up backstage with StarrStan. Starr is on the phone with his feet up as his very nice suit is unbuttoned and he chats gleefully to the person on the other end of the phone.)
StarrStan: Ah yes! You saw Impact talking down to Drake King? I know! I’d love nothing more than to see those two clash! That could be a show stealing main event! I also have to start finalizing plans on who is going to make the cut for Dynasty’s side at Territorial Invasion. Serena is handling the scouting for our War Games team and I’m keeping my eye on a tag team to possibly get a crack at Heavenly Hell. Lethal has sparked another feud with another champion without my permission…but knowing Jack, his pride isn’t going to allow Lethal a chance to beat him up and not go for the retaliation he feels is owed to him. I also have some qualifiers I’m setting up next week for our entrants in to this year’s Divide and Conquer match. Big things going down for us over here on Dy-
*KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.*
StarrStan: Hold on Aunt Celeste, somebody’s at the door. Yes, yes I love you too. Have a great day. Happy Labor Day weekend! Bye! *hangs up phone* Who is it? I said who is it?
(Starr hops from behind his desk, adjusting his suit, walks to the door, and opens it to reveal a familiar face.)
StarrStan: Ugh. People act like they don’t hear me I guess.
(Starr opens the door and we see his reaction of surprise and elation at who was standing in his door way.)
StarrStan: Would you look at that! I had no clue you would be here tonight, pal! What’s going on Cap’?
(The crowd pops as Captain Charisma Matt Daniels appears and walks into the office. Matt is dressed well but is looking disheveled as his old friend goes in for a bro hug.)
Captain Charisma: No.
StarrStan: :wow: What’s up, Matt? No love for a good old friend?
Captain Charisma: I’m not here for love, Starr. I’m here because I need answers. What type of fucking ship are you running over here?
StarrStan: E-Excuse me?
Captain Charisma: You heard me! What the hell was that last week on Voltage?
StarrStan: What? Felix seducing also Kai Zolomon? I mean, I didn’t agree with it but I wasn’t complaining if I can be frank it was entertain-
Captain Charisma: Cut the bullshit, you know why I’m here! Eric Havoc popping up and attacking Korey Gaines and Frankie Paradise after their match? He got in, hit the Chaos Impact on one of my stars and beating them with a damn chair! Screaming on about its bigger than being silenced on Dynasty or some crap. Your guy attacked TWO of my guys and tried to do serious damage to them. What the hell are you going to do about it and how the hell did you let it happen?
StarrStan: Cap! Calm down! I understand, let me apologize sincerely! Eric is an erratic young man. He has been egging me on since the Draft with all these demands. High profile matches, trying to squeeze his way in to title shots, wanting to basically fight me and I rebuffed him at every turn! I thought I had him under control after he lost at Operation: Doomsday but clearly he is going even farther off the deep end. The guy is going rogue and I don’t know what I can do to reign him back in and get him to buy back into being a solid worker. He has been ranting about corruption, favorable bookings for certain stars, claiming I was turning Dynasty in to a joke because I gave Provencal a chance to prove he could wrestle and he has had it out for me ever since!
Captain Charisma: Now that damn mental institution escapee is interfering with MY show, MY stars, and MY job!
StarrStan: Look, Matt…I understand what you are going through. It’s tough when
(Captain Charisma slams his hand on the desk.)
Captain Charisma: No! You definitely don’t get it. I have the board of directors breathing down my neck and threatening me. I had to deal with HRDO and Mr. DEDEDE in person last week, and instead of making the situation worse, DEDEDE put his hands on Veena and has absolutely lit a fire under her. All he did was make a bad situation even worse, and with Havoc showing up, and Felix showing up… I’m done, Stanley. I’m not going to put up with bullshit anymore.
StarrStan: I’ve dealt with guys like this before! Remember how wild Mark Michaels behaves last year? Huh? Before he was drafted by Showdown he was MY problem! Trying to start a revolution and take down EAW and what not!
Captain Charisma: Yeah, how did that go for you? Didn’t you give him a title shot against Ms. Extreme and didn’t Mark Michaels nearly murder her at Pain for Pride XII? I know this is a violent company, we all have done dirty things we aren’t proud of but I’m already on thin ice with management as is! #cancelvoltage is trending all over social media and I’m ripping my hair out trying to fix this mess that’s going on. Veena can’t stop getting in their way with her poor planning and bias decisions. The Voltage main event is her booking herself and her new shiny toy Charlie Marr in a match against two of the best Elitist around in Raven Roberts and Rex McAllister is a feud that seems to have no end in sight! Now imagine dealing with all that AND Eric Havoc running around like the joker beating up people for no logical reason!
StarrStan: Look, ill take care of Eric. I’m sorry about him adding fuel to the fire over there on your show. Seriously.
Captain Charisma: Sorry isn’t going to cut it! Gaines and Paradise are furious. You say you had experience with this before with Mark Michaels but look what all those attacks and those wild ramblings of anarchy and revolution got him. The Pure Championship. Havoc even had Mr. DEDEDE talking about him, it’s clear he is stirring up shit and I don’t want that shit coming back and hitting me in the face again.
StarrStan: Look, I’ve tried being fair and cordial with Eric but he seems like he can’t resist causing an uproar. Maybe I really should have suspended him like he claimed I did when he was caught lying about being banned from Dynasty a few weeks ago.
Captain Charisma: How about you take it a step further and just fire him?
StarrStan: What? I don’t know about that! I can’t just fire him! At least with him on the roster I have some control over him. If he is off our roster who know exactly what he might do to the world?
Captain Charisma: Look. I don’t see many other options.
StarrStan: I’m not firing Eric Havoc. We have our differences and he may hate me for some irrational reason that changes every week but the guy has talent in the ring. He has potential if he stops with the petty vendetta stuff and just focused on wrestling but I can’t let him go. He is a Dynasty Elitist that can be useful for the brand going forward. Lethal Consequences and Impact won’t be around for ever. Guys get old. Young guys with his commitment and desire to be great at hard to come by. I just cannot fire him unless he turns out to be a nazi like the last guy that snuck in to EAW. I’m sorry, Matt. I really am.
Captain Charisma: I’m sorry, too. Sorry to see you lose your spine over a guy who might get us both fired. If you don’t handle this or if you simply can’t handle this Eric Havoc fiasco…then maybe me and my guys will have to take care of it for you.
(Captain Charisma turns and heads right out the door.)
StarrStan: Hey! Is that a threat? Matt! Mat!!
(The door slams behind him as StarrStan sits down and is at a loss for words at the predicament he has been put in.)
Stew-O: Two very good friends have been divided here tonight. Captain Charisma shocking us all by making an appearance and even more shocking, a threat to have Eric Havoc taken care of following his shocking interference and attack on last week’s Voltage.
Flannery McCoy: I am Dynasty to the very end but I can’t help but sympathize with Matt on this one. He has so much on his plate with Veena Adams power tripping and with HRDO and DEDEDE breathing down his neck. This can’t help but add more stress to an already demanding situation.
Jake Mercer: I only see one person excited about these two authority figures at odds: Eric Havoc. We saw him pitch to Ronan Malosi and Mike Gambino on joining him in his T.R.U.E. Initiative and if he adds more dangerous people to his cause, who knows what they may be capable of?
(We cut back to the ring as Stephie Love stands elegantly with the microphone in her hand.)
Stephie Love: Our next match is a singles match scheduled for
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
Stephie Love: AAAAND IT IS OUR MAAAAAIN EVENT!!!
(“Wild One” by Suzi Quatro begins to blast across the PA system, and the fans inside the arena l rise to their feet. Remi Skyfire walks onto the stage and the crowd greets her with a mixed reaction with mainly boos as she grins and shows off her signature mouthpiece. Remi unzips the hoody on her back and stares into the crowd with a cocky gaze before walking down the ramp.)
Stephie Love: INTRODUCING FIRST… FROM SOMERSET, KENTUCKY… WEIGHING IN AT 150 POUNDS… SHE IS ‘THE KILLER’ REMI SKYFIRE!!!
Flannery McCoy: You want to talk about highly anticipated please look no further than our main event this week. Remi Skyfire has been consistently one of the best Elitist this season since making her return and finding incredible success as a team team alongside her Valkyrie partner, Darcy May Morgan.
Jake Mercer: That’s the Dropkick Darling to you, Flannery! Yes, Remi has made some big waves since returning but losing to TLA and Serena Bennett are big matches that may have stalled her from getting over that jump. Has she prioritized her relationship with DMM and regressed as a singles competing elitist? I don’t think so but many rumbles have been spoken up on various Youtube comment sections about that very subject!
Stew-O: A win here could boost her up as a singles star as she makes her way down the ramp and in to the ring!
(Remi squats down in the corner of the ring as she shows off her mouth piece once again and rocks back and forth to her theme music. Her music fades and she tosses the jacket outside the ring before Stephie Love begins speaking )
Stephie Love: AND HER OPPONENT…
(“Born too late” by Saint Vitus plays as the lights get low. Out walks Darkane as the music blares out of the public announcement speakers. The Grave Worm grimaced and glared at each and everyone in the building as the reaction is a mixture of cheers and boos. Darkane saunters to the ring and takes his time as fans reach over to try and touch him to his dismay. He takes a huge spit right in front of the ring as he looks in and stares down his opponent.)
Stephie Love: His opponent, from New Orleans, Louisiana weighing in tonight at 240 POUNDS!!! “THE GRAVE WORM”, DAAAAARRRRKAAAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Stew-O: One of the most barbaric and destructive men in professional wrestling history. This man has been to the top before and a big win here could help restablish him as one of the top elistist in Dynaty!
Jake Mercer: I think beating TLA at Doomsday helps his case plenty!
Flannery McCoy: He didn’t beat TLA clean, though. Darkane won but TLA clearly wasn’t satisfied in that outcome or how it came about. Neither was Steroid Dawg seeing as Darkane went after him also!
(Darkane slides in the ring and stays grounded before positioning himself in a seated position in his own corner. The lights come up and his music fades as Remi squats down in her corner and both lock eyes.)
Stew-O: This match has begun! Darkane uses both hands to pull himself off the mat and Remi pops up and readies herself on the other side of the ring. Darkane stares at his opponent without a hint of excitement as he pushes forward. Remi pushes forward as well. Darkane lunges for a grapple but Remi rolls on the mat and gets behind Darkane. Darkane turns as Remi swift kick to his thighs! Darkane flinches but gets back up right and stares a hole in to Skyfire. Remi sizes him up and throws another stiff kick. RIGHT TO THE HIP AS DARKANE MOVES A LITTLE AND WINCES SLIGHTLY…BUT REMAINS STANDING! Darkane nods and is begging her to try it again and Remi obliges. ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE HEAD…
Flannery McCoy: BLOCKED! DARKANE GRABS REMI’S FOOT OUT OF MIDAIR WITH ONE HAND AND TOSSES IS BACK DOWN AS REMI TRIES TO GET HER BALANCE! Skyfire gets her feet planted and goes to attack NO! HEADBUTT! Darkane leaves Remi dazed with that stiff headbutt that landed right on the button!
Jake Mercer: Darkane watches Remi stagger back and makes his move. He scoops up Skyfire and runs her spine first into the corner as her head whiplashes back from the collision!
Flannery McCoy: Darkane steps back and begins raining knees to the gut of Remi as the referee walks over telling him to relent!
Jake Mercer: Darkane turns to the referee and yells something truly awful before turning back towards Remi. KNIFE EDGE CHOPS TO THE CHEST LIGHTS REMI UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE! Darkane is going to town on Skyfire with several chops to the chest as Remi is stuck with nowhere to go!
Stew-O: The referee is warning Darkane again as Remi’s chest is turning a shade far redder than it ever was supposed to be. Darkane turns and barks at the referee again before turning back towards Skyfire.
Flannery McCoy: ELBOW STRIKE! Remi hits Darkane with the sharp back elbow to the nose as Darkane finally backs away from her and that corner. Remi catches her breath and goes on the offense. She charges Darkane and
Stew-O: RUNNING KNEE TO THE ABDOMEN SENDS REMI FLIPPING FORWARD AND ON TO HER BACK! Darkane rubs his nose and checks for blood as Remi rolls on the mat clutching her ribs! Darkane shakes his head as he sees nothing but snot running from his face before reaching down and pulling Skyfire off the ground with one hand wrapped up with her hair.
Flannery McCoy: Remi is an 150 pound firecracker but Darkane’s nearly 100 pound weight advantage will obviously play a factor in who wins tonight. She has to use her superior speed and her expertise as a striker to gain an edge over Darkane!
Jake Mercer: Darkane has his hands wrapped in Remi’s hair as she struggles to pull away. SNAP JAB! ANOTHER SNAP JAB! A THIRD SNAP JAB RIGHT TO THE FACE FROM DARKANE! Remi is looking like she might need help as Darkane Irish whips her using her hair and sends her to the ropes. Remi bounces and returns. T-Bone suplex from Darkane as he catches her mid stride and flips her upside down! Darkane isn’t looking for a cover after an impressive slam. No, he gets to his feet and gives Remi a few stomps for good measure!
Stew-O: These two have had a very testy back and forth this week and it’s clear both are harboring Ill will and bad blood towards one another. This is a match that isn’t going to end with any fancy covers. One person is going to have to put the other one down here tonight in our main event!
Flannery McCoy: Darkane takes a break from stomping out Remi to lift her back to her feet again. This time, he finds himself behind her as he bends her over and
Jake Mercer: Oh god…Darkane is pretending to hump her! Three humps as Remi is clearly in a bad shape! Darkane stands her up right and wraps his arms behind her. He positions her, he has her, Darkane has her set up for the pump handle position! He lifts her up to his shoulders…PUMP HANDLE NECKBREAKERNOOOOOOO!
Stew-O: REMI SLIPS BEHIND DARKANE! ROUND HOUSE KICK ROCKS DARKANE! The kick comes out of nowhere and has Darkane staggering! Remi clinches and MUAY THAI KNEE STRIKES! SKYFIRE’S KNEE BOUNCES OFF THE GRAVE WORM’S FACE AS REMI KEEPS THROWING KNEE AFTER KNEE AFTER KNEE!
Flannery McCoy: Skyfire takes a break as now we can see Darkane’s busted nose pour drops of blood from it. The 6’2 Elitist still towers Remi and her 5’7 grams. Darkane wipes his nose and sees the blood and is seething! He begins breathing out his mouth as Skyfire runs to the ropes and back at him. Wild short arm clothesline is thrown by Darkane and ducked by Remi as she runs the ropes again. She comes back and ducks a discus forearm as Darkane turns around once more. Remi charges and leaps.
Stew-O: DROPKICK TO THE FACE AS DARKANE STAGGERS AGAIN! He has not hit the mat but he is teetering! Remi gets to her feet and sees this and measures the distance.
RED RIGHT HAND!!!
Flannery McCoy: SPINNING BACKFIST LANDS RIGHT ON THAT BLOODY NOSE AS DARKANE FALLS BACKWARDS AND STAGGERS TO THE ROPES! Remi measures him up again as Darkane leans against the ring ropes.
Jake Mercer: SUPERMAN ELBOW STRIKE HITS THAT NOSE AGAIN! MY GOD REMI MIGHT BREAK DARKANE’S NOSE WITH THESE BLOWS AS DARKANE LEANS FURTHER BACK ON THOSE ROPES!
Stew-O: REMI SKYFIRE LETS OUT A GUTTURAL SCREAM AND SPRINTS TOWARDS DARKANE AND
Flannery McCoy: LARIAT! ONE OF THE STIFFEST LARIATS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY CAREER HITS AS DARKANE STOPS REMI WHERE SHE WAS AND TURNS HER INSIDE OUT!
Jake Mercer: In Japan, they refer to that as not just any ordinary Lariat. But as a LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Flannery McCoy: Whatever you want to call it, it flipped Remi backwards and on to her face! Darkane walks around the ring as he shakes his head and attempts to compose himself. Darkane rubs his nose on the turnbuckle before turning back and seeing his opponent in the middle of the ring clearly caught off guard and hurt by his counter. Darkane watches Remi get off the ground and to her feet and YAKUZA KICK TO THE CHIN AS REMI DROPS RIGHT BACK DOWN! Darkane isn’t done, still not going for the cover!
Stew-O: Darkane gets Remi back up and gets her where he wants her. Darkane kicks her right in the gut as she leans forward. ENTER THE GRAVE! THE EVENFLOW DDT CONNECTS! FINALLY DARKANE ROLLS REMI OVER AND GOES FOR THE COVER!
Flannery McCoy: Kick out and an incredible show of resistance by Skyfire as Darkane looks almost glad st her continuing this match! I guess he is excited to dish out more pain on his foe.
Stew-O: Darkane stands up and wipes his nose once more as he is forced to keep breathing from his mouth due to how much blood he is pouring from that nose of his.
Flannery McCoy: Looks like Remi might have a slight cut on her lip as well from that Lariat and that evenflow ddt that planted her face first into the ring. Darkane is up and he drags Skyfire off the ground as these two elitist continue this main event match here in Tulsa, Oklahoma tonight!
Jake Mercer: Darkane is bleeding but is still in control as he uses both hands to yank Remi from the ground and on her feet. Darkane is simply overpowering Skyfire so far and I don’t know how she is going to overcome his brute strength in this matchup. She had a good go for s minute but he is dominating her now. Darkane scoops her up, he is carrying her on his shoulders as he parades around the ring. Darkane sets her up and gets her ready…TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! DARKANE JUST DROPPED REMI RIGHT ON HER HEAD MY GOD! Darkane stands up! He is not going for the pin once again! He’s a sadistic man!
Stew-O: This is him trying to prove a point it seems at Skyfire’s expense! Remi is helpless as the referee checks on her. Wait, Darkane moves him out the way! Gotta be careful touching the officials, now! The referee warns Darkane as he watches Remi desperately trying to get up off the ground. Darkane retreats to a corner…he is setting himself up. Remi slowly gets off the mat and has her back facing him. DARKANE STOMPS AND CHARGES AT REMI! DEVIL MAY NOOOOOOO!!!! REMI MOVES OUT THE WAY AS DARKANE SPEARS THE REFEREE OUT OF HIS SHOES! THE REFEREE IS DOWN AND REMI CRAWLS TO THE CORNER WHERE HER HOODY RESTS!
Flannery McCoy: Darkane gets up and acts like nothing happen, ignoring the referee entirely! He turns and looks for Skyfire as she rummaged inside her jacket. Darkane slowly walks towards her, blood pouring from his nose and aggression in his eyes as Remi has something in her hand clearly. Darkane snatches her off the ground by her hair and turns her around and
Jake Mercer: GOD! FIREBALL IN THE FACE OF DARKANE FROM REMI SKYFIRE!!!! She pulled that fireball out of nowhere!
Flannery McCoy: She clearly had something in her hood
Jake Mercer: OUT OF NOWHERE I SAY! LIKE BLACK MAGIC! THE RUMORS OF REMI PRACTICING WITCH CRAFT MAYBE TRUE OMGOMGOMG!!!
Stew-O: Darkane is blinded! He is breathing out his mouth as well as staggering back whilst rubbing his eyes! His eyebrows might have been singed as Remi gets to her feet and sees her opening! She goes for it as Darkane stands center in the ring and the referee finally begins to move again!
KISS ME DEADLY!!!
Flannery McCoy: TILT-A-WHIRL STUNNER!!! NOOOO!!! REMI HAD DARKANE UNTIL DARKANE BLOCKED THE STUNNER AND PUSHED HER OFF HIM MID TILT-A-WHIRL! Remi goes flying and lands awkwardly on her feet with her back to Darkane as
DEVIL MAY CRY!!!!
Stew-O: SPEAR RIGHT IN TO REMI’S BACK! DARKANE HITS THE SPEAR AS HE PUTS HIS FULL WEIGHT ON TO SKYFIRE! ROLL OVER, HOOKS THE LEG! COVEE!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
(“Born too Late” is back on as fans are on their feet and shocked at how Darkane pulled that win off.)
Stephie Love: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…DAAAAAARKAAAAANE!!!!!
Stew-O: REMI HAD HIM DEAD TO RIGHTS AND HE SURVIVED! BLOODY NOSE AND ALL!
Flannery McCoy: Darkane is getting his hand raised and NO! He snatches it away! Darkane isn’t done! The referee looks off Darkane and ignores the angry winner and checks on Remi as she is slow to get up. Skyfire is being assisted by the referee as Darkane goes to the corner to wipe his bloody face on the turnbuckles. Remi is favoring her spine as the ref-
Jake Mercer: NOOOO!!! DARKANE IS CHARGING AND HE JUST GRABBED THE REFEREE AND REMI BY THE BACK OF THE HEADS! HE JUST CRACKED THEIR HEADS TOGETHER LIKE COCONUTS! DARKANE WON THE MATCH BUT HE ISNT DONE! The grave worm has rolled out the ring and looks like he wants to do permanent damage to Skyfire!
Stew-O: DARKANE HAS HIS SHOVEL! Remi is stuck in the middle of the ring as Darkane looks bloody furious with that weapon in his hand!
Flannery McCoy: OH MY! LOOK! IT’S DARCY MAY MORGAN! REMI’S TAG TEAM PARTNER STAYED BACKSTAGE DURING THE MATCH BUT SHE IS SPRINTING FROM BEHIND THE CURTAIN AND DOWN THE RAMP! BLOW TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD BY DARCY TO DARKANE AS HE HAD HIS BACK TO HER! DARCY IS ATTACKING DARKANE AND NO! DARKANE PUSHES HER BACKWARDS AND GETS TO HIS FEET! DARCY CHARGES AND
Jake Mercer: SPINEBUSTER!!!! SPINEBUSTER TO THE MIDDLE OF THE ARENA FLOOR AS DARCY IS LAID OUT RINGSIDE! Darkane looks around and goes for that shovel once again. He looks over at the Dropkick Darling as she rolls over and crawls away. BAM!!! DARKANE SWINGS THAT SHOVEL RIGHT IN TO HER SPINE MY GOD! DARCY IS FLAT RINGSIDE AS REMI IS IN THE RING STARTING TO STIR.
Stew-O: Darkane rolls in and gets up. HE SWINGS THAT GRAVEYARD SHOVEL AND SMASHES IT AGAINST REMI’S BACK AS WELL! DARKANE IS DESTROYING THE VALKYRIE ALL BY HIMSELF AS HE KICKS THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!
Flannery McCoy: No! He has to be stopped! Look! He’s putting that shovel in her mouth as she lays face down! This sick man is stroking REMI’S hair as his bloody nose runs down his mouth and a sadistic smile is forming on his face.
Darkane: You piece of shit dyke! You throw fire in my face? I’m about to open your fucking face right here! RIGHT…NOW!
Stew-O: NOOO! NOOO! NOO! DARKANE STEPS BACK AS HE LEANS AGAINST THE ROPES! DARKANE BEGINS SPRINTING! HE IS GONNA HIT THAT OPEN FACE SURGERY! NO! WAIT! LOOK! LOOK!
(“Ambitionz az a ridah” by Tupac blasts as out comes a low rider bouncing high on stage. We see TLA furiously hitting switches as fans go nuts. Darkane stops mid way and looks up the stage as his sadistic smile turns to bitter anger.)
Crowd: T-L-A!!! T-L-A!!! T-L-A!!! T-L-A!! !T-L-A!!! T-L-A!!!
Flannery McCoy: TLA IS HERE AND HE HAS REVENGE IN HIS EYES!!!
TLA: I have come for revenge! Vengaza is mine! Steroid Dawg! SIR STEROID DAWG!
(Steroid Dawg appears in the back seat foaming at the mouth and furiously barking away as TLA stops bouncing his lowrider and snaps his fingers.)
TLA: Bring me his head!
Steroid Dawg: GRRE!!! BARK! BARK!
TLA: AND HIS ASS! NOW!
(Steroid Dawg leaps out of the ride and dashed down the ramp before sliding right into the ring. Steroid Dawg leaps in the air as Darkane leaps at the dog as well.)
Stew-O: STEROID DAWG TACKLES DARKANE! STEROID DAWG HAS LATCHED ON TO THE ARM OF DARKANE AND IS BITING DEEPLY IN TO IT! DARCY MAT STRUGGLES TO GET UP AND ON TO THE APRON AS SHE SLIDES IN THE RING AND DRAGS REMI OUT OF HARMS WAY! STEROID DAWG’S TEETH HAVE PUNCTURED THE GRAVE WORM’S ARM AND BLOOD IS POURING OUT AS MAN AND BEAST STRUGGLE ON THE MAT!
Flannery McCoy: TLA hops out the ride and runs past The retreating Valkyrie team and joins Steroid Dawg and Darkane in the ring. TLA IS GETTING HIS REVENGE AS STEROID DAWG FINALLY STOPS BITING DARKANE AND TLA PICKS UP THAT DAMN SHOVEL!
WHACK! BAM! CRACK!
Jake Mercer: TLA IS TEEING OFF ON DARKANE’S SPINE AS STEROID DAWG BARKS RIGHT IN HIS FACE! DARKANE IS HELPLESS AS TLA CONTINUES GETTING HIS REVENGE ON DARKANE!
(“Surfin” by Kid Cudi and Pharrell plays as not even this theme music makes TLA and his pet stop attacking Darkane. Out frantically runs Serena Bennett as she begins screaming in to the microphone.)
Serena Bennett: HEY! TLA! STOP! STOP! STOOOOOOOP!!!!
(TLA finally stops smashing that shovel into Darkane’s back as the bloody nosed Grave Worm crawls away and leans his face towards the stage. Both men stare at Serena Bennett as she finally gets everybody’s attention.)
Serena Bennett: My god! You two men are two of the best Elitist in the company and you can’t get over your differences at all! TLA, you are arguably the greatest Luchadore to ever exist.
TLA: That’s Landerson but, yeah, im up there.
Serena Bennett: Darkane, you are one of the most vile and dangerous men to ever live!
Darkane: Fuck. You. Cunt.
Serena Bennett: I know you have your flaws. TLA is looked at as a joke at times. A twerking borderline racist stereotype that has blocked himself from his own goals and success. A man that in any other company would be a multi time World champion but instead enjoys poop humor and running a world wide sex trafficking business!
TLA: I’m very successful as well in that field, mami!
Serena Bennett: I also know that you are incredible as an athlete and when you are pissed off are capable of damn near anything. Case in point, this assault on Darkane.
Serena Bennett: You, Darkane. You also are a dirtbag and piece of shit of the wettest variety. You are a former Answers World Champion but you have not sniffed that title or any world titles despite various chances this past season. You are a man who isn’t out to have a technical classic. As you showed today, you could have put Remi away at various points but instead you almost were too enthralled with beating her ass instead of winning the damn match. You a crazy ass cac…and TLA a crazy ass Mexican. And I…
(Serena pauses for dramatic effect.)
Serena Bennett: I think you are the two type of crazy ass motherfuckers I want and need by my side at this year’s War Games!
Flannery McCoy: MY GOD!
Jake Mercer: I GUESS WE KNOW WHO SERENA BENNETT WANTS TO JOIN HER AT TERRITORIAL INVASION!
Serena Bennett: I’m not taking no for an answer. StarrStan has given me the power to pick whoever I want to join me and you two are the two I choose. We only have a few weeks to get this shit together and I am not expecting you two to be best friends or nothin’ like that when the match is over. But, from now until then…you two are done beefing and squabbling like cats and literal dogs. You two are coming with me to Territorial Invasion!
(“Surfin” plays once more as the entire crowd is hype and stunned at Serena’s decision.)
Flannery McCoy: DARKANE AND TLA…TOGETHER WITH SERENA BENNETT? I HOPE SERENA KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS DOING PAIRING THESE TWO BITTER RIVALS TOGETHER!
Jake Mercer: I trust our captain but even I am scratching my head at this one! TLA just beat down Darkane with that shovel! Darkane has attacked TLA in the past. Both men hate each other. They can’t stand each other! Darkane put Michelle McGillislutty in the hospital and even Steroid Dawg And Darkane have gone at it!
Stew-O: Yeah. Imagine what they can do to the members of Voltage and Showdown if they put their differences to the side and follow Serena in to War Games?!?
Jake Mercer: Darkane following Serena? I don’t know if I but that! TLA might walk behind her but that’s probably just for the view of that poon from the back!
Flannery McCoy: Okay, Gavin Mercer!
Stew-O: I’M STEW-O! Joined by Flannery and Jake, we are out of time! Goodnight folks and we will see you next week for another edition of Friday Night Dynasty!!!
(The show fades out as Serena stands on the stage with her arms crossed. We get a shot of the ring as TLA stands besides Steroid Dawg whilst holding that shovel. We see a close up of Darkane’s bloody face as the often pissed off man looks more aggrieved then ever at this turn of events.)
(EAW Logo Buzzes.)