(EAW Logo Plays)
(The show begins clips from last week are shown. Justin Windgate, Archimedes J. Manson, and Vic Venom victories are replayed from last week briefly before we see Drake King destroy Cage and get in a standoff with Vic. We then see Darkane coming out with his shovel as he destroys SOSA Henderson and puts him on the shelf. Next shown are the exchanges between Impact and Lethal Consequences and the contract signing between Kassidy Heart and Serena Bennett. The latter ends badly for the EAW Universal Women’s Champion as she is thrown through a table by Bennett following their contract signing as Serena stood tall last week.)
(Fireworks pop off as the show officially begins. The Barclays Center is packed with New York locals as the sell out audience cheers loudly for Friday Night Dynasty. We see a row of kids wearing matching “Blicky Boyz” merch, a young lady in a “Blue Carpet” themed sweater, and a “Animated Archimedes” hoodie in the crowd. We cut to the announcer’s table as we see the trio of Flannery, Stew-O, and Jake Mercer smiling at ringside.)
Stew-O: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Friday Night Dynasty! I’m Stew-O joined as always by Flannery McCoy and Jake Mercer! We want to welcome everyone as we are broadcasting from Brooklyn, New York this week. It’s the second day of August but the summer isn’t over just yet!
Flannery McCoy: That’s right, last week was focused on Midsummer Massacre for the Showdown brand but EAW is a very big promotion as we all know. Friday Night Dynasty has been building its own momentum as we keep going forward towards Operation: Doomsday in a few weeks! With LC facing Impact in a NO DQ match and Kassidy Heart vs Serena Bennett officially signed last week, we already have two blockbusters to look forward to!
Jake Mercer: I’m expecting seven stars or better from both of those title matches but last week saw two potential matches jeopardize as the returning SOSA Henderson was seemingly going to face the emerging Vic Venom at Operation: Doomsday until Darkane and his infamous shovel beat him to a pulp as Darkane went to send a message to his Doomsday foe in TLA last week. Rumor has it SOSA Henderson may be out for an indefinite amount of time.
Flannery McCoy: Another casualty appeared as well as Cage, one of the toughest stars in EAW history, was brutalized with a steel chair by Drake King after his loss to Vic Venom. King and Venom became obvious foes as King attacked Venom with that chair as well until Vic regained himself and fought him off. Later on that evening, The Round Table faced Darcy May Morgan and Remi Skyfire and were defeated by the incredible tag team after Vic Venom low blowed Drake and cost that team the match. Both men seemed focused on opponents who are no longer active but not have been brought face to face with each other. We know Vic had some words for Drake a month or so ago but now it looks like their paths are converging sooner then we all realized!
Stew-O: Tonight will be a great show as we will see-
(“Put em up” by Lupe Fiasco begins to play. The fans go nuts as the music builds.)
Stew-O: Looks like we may be seeing one of the biggest stars in the business to start off this show!
(Out walks Kassidy Heart, in a gold variant of her in ring attire and a vintage “Revolt” hooded sweatshirt as she has her shimmering EAW Unified Women’s Championship on her left shoulder. Kass runs her fingers through her hair as she casually walks down the ramp and into the ring.)
Crowd: KASS-I-DY! KASS-I-DY! KASS-I-DY!
Crowd: SE-RE-NA! SE-RE-NA!
Flannery McCoy: The crowd still rallies behind their champion despite how she ended up last week after that contract signing.
Jake Mercer: I’ve seen my share of contract signings and Kassidy’s awareness must have been Javale McGee in NBA 2k19 level low if she didn’t see an attack coming by Serena Bennett. I remember in Undersized Wrestling Unit, I saw the 4’11 Darius Styles get DDT’d into the very table he signed his official contract on by 4’7 Synnthia Scissors on their first and only aired episode. It was incredible, you guys don’t know what you were missing!
(Kassidy walks up the steel stairs, enters the ring, and is handed a microphone by Stephie Love.)
Kassidy Heart: I am coming out here right now to set the record straight. Last week, I
Crowd: SE-RE-NA!!! SE-RE-NA!! SE-RE-NA!!
Stew-O: The passionate EAW fans here in Brooklyn are very vocal in support of the EAW Universal Women’s Challenger!
Flannery McCoy: Kassidy gives a cocky smirk, slowly nodding, as she waits for the crowd to settle before speaking.
Kassidy Heart: …Last week, I was on the wrong end of a very violent maneuver by my so called challenger after our contract signing. I say so called because, despite all this preamble and build up…Serena Bennet will not be a challenge for me at Operation: Doomsday. Yeah, I know…I got what I deserved is what some of you people think. Serena Bennett saw me in a vulnerable moment and took advantage of me. Same way I took advantage of her when she was most vulnerable at Pain for Pride XII after she beat Sienna Jade to win this title that is on my shoulders right now. Same way she saw me on that one episode of Empire where she got her one victory over me and saw me vulnerable thanks to a distraction from Ahren Fournier. That’s what this has always been about, people. Vulnerability. People look at me and saw a victim for so long until I wasn’t one anymore. I was no longer a damsel in distress, I was your Iconic Cup winning, reigning, defending, undisputed, EAW Universal Women’s champion and now Serena Bennett is the one looking vulnerable! Her boyfriend came back and got put right back on the shelf. SOSA Henderson is on the shelf next to the baking soda and she will be sitting on that same damn shelf with him when I get my hands on her at Operation: Doomsday.
Kassidy Heart:…That is, If she is even lucky enough to survive a match with EAW World Heavyweight champion Impact here tonight.
Kassidy Heart: I promise you she will not survive our match. So many low blows and jabs have been thrown at one another for so long yet you took your chance to make the first real strike and I can’t say I blame you. It was smart. Putting me through the table last week, I give credit where credit is due but this isn’t a warning I’m giving you right now. Serena, I am promising you that this will not end well for you and it will only get worse as time goes on. You fired the first shot, my shot is coming very soon! You will never see it coming and it will be ultraviolent!
(Mic drop. Kass’s music plays again as she switches her hips and exits the ring.)
Stew-O: Bold take and a clear threat of retaliation from our EAW Universal Women’s champion. She also reminds the viewers and the crowd here of our incredible main event. Serena Bennett facing off against EAW World Champion Impact one on one!
Jake Mercer: “Sassy” Kassy as she was originally known in the independent wrestling scene is not one to take lightly. I remember in the Aussie Backyard Federation, I saw Kassidy put a detonator on to the back of a foe and blow them up just to win a tag team match. Like Chris Elite, that young men wrestled the very next week. THIS IS WHY WRESTLERS NEED A UNION! I THINK MARK MICHAELS AND ERIC HAVOC ARE RI-
(Jake’s microphone cuts off as the show transitions to a commercial break. We see an ad for Jake Smith’s hair gel. “Get the hair that makes the girls wanna KNEEL!”. We return to the ring as Stephie Love is seen holding a microphone.)
Stephie Love: Our next match is scheduled for
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Stephie Love: And it is a single’s match!
(“El Diablo” by Machine Gun Kelly plays out sprints Justin Windgate as the crowd goes wild.)
Stephie Love: Making his way to the ring…from Detroit, Michigan…weighing in at 225 pounds…THE XTREME CLASSIC…JUUUUUUSTIN WIIIIIINNNNNDDDDGGGAAAATTTEEE!!!
(Justin sprints and slides under the bottom rope, rolling to his hands and knees, and hopping from the mat to his feet as the crowd cheers.)
Jake Mercer: The returning Justin Windgate is here and ready to get back in to prominence as he made a successful return to in ring action last week!
Flannery McCoy: That he did but this week will be a different story as he takes on a local favorite here tonight!
(Justin’s music fades out as “Bolt Thrower” by Mercenary plays as out walks Mike Gambino. Mike looks cocky, standoffish as the initial excitement that came withered away and a few boos are heard from the crowd.)
Stephie Love: AND his opponent…from right here in Brooklyn, New York…weighing in at 236 pounds…THE MERCENARY…MIKE GAAAAAAAAMBBINNOOOO!!
(Mike enters the middle rope and slowly walks to his own corner as he lays his back against the turnbuckle, runs his fingers through his hair, and watches as Justin Windgate jumps up and down in preparation.)
Stew-O: Mike Gambino, a man that wrestled in various independent wrestling promotions all over the world is here on Dynasty ready to make his mark.
Flannery McCoy: He may have been a big deal in the indies but he is starting from the bottom and looking to climb up here in EAW!
Flannery McCoy: The bell rings as the match up starts. Gambino and Justin meet up in the center of the ring as Justin hits a beautiful arm drag and Mike rolls over and back to his feet. Justin charges Gambino and gets caught with an arm drag himself as Justin rolls back over. Windgate charges and so does Mike as Gambino throws a wild clothesline but Justin ducks it! Justin bounces off the ropes and comes back towards Mike. HURRICANRANA! Windgate flips Gambino off his feet. Justin gets to his feet as Mike attempts to get to his. Mike crawls towards the ring corner and uses the turnbuckle to get up. Justin waits, Mike gets to his feet, Gambino turns, Justin Charges…
Stew-O: SPEAR…NO! Mike slides out of the ring corner as Justin catches himself in the middle turnbuckle with his hands! Gambino is behind Justin. Mike wraps his arms around his body. GERMAN SUPLEX DROPS JUSTIN ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD! Justin rolls over and ends up on his knees with his hands on the back of his head. Mike sees him looking helpless and charges. KNIFE-EDGE CHOP! Mike lights up Justin’s chest with that one!
Jake Mercer: Mike Gambino winds up again…ANOTHER CHOP TO THE CHEST! Justin is still on his knees, holding his chest with his arms from those chops! Mike Gambino sees Justin still on his knees, trying to get to his feet and attacks again. BACKFIST!
Flannery McCoy: NO! Justin ducks! He hooks Mike! SCHOOL BOY ROLL UP!
Stew-O: Gambino kicks out the quick cover! Mike slides away as Justin gets to his feet. Windgate charges and CRACKS Mike with a dropkick! Mike rolls on the mat and out of the ring! Gambino lands on his back on the arena floor!
Ref: ONE!!! TWO!!!
Stew-O: Justin gets up, he’s charging up, stomping his feet, as Mike starts to stir ringside. Justin wipes his eyebrows and bounces off the ropes nearby. Mike is getting to his feet. Justin runs to the side of the ring Mike is and…
Ref: THREE!!! FOUR!!!
Flannery McCoy: RUNNING SENTON FROM INSIDE THE RING ON TO MIKE GAMBINO!
Ref: FIVE!!! SIX!!!
Stew-O: The senton to the standing Gambino drops both men to the ground! Justin gets to his feet, he felt some of that but most of the damage was on Gambino! Windgate grabs his opponent and gets him up to his feet.
Jake Mercer: Justin has the back of Gambino’s hair and looks to get him in to the…WAIT! Gambino slaps his hand away! Mike grabs Justin’s wrist…he irish whips him…RIGHT IN TO THE RING POST AS JUSTIN’S SHOULDER BOUNCES RIGHT OFF AS THE RING DOESN’T EVEN MOVE!
Flannery McCoy: Mike took advantage of his opponent right there! Mike rolls in to the ring and settles for a moment before rolling back out and resetting the referee’s count! Gambino smirks a bit as he sees Justin favoring that left shoulder that met with that ring post.
Ref: ONE!!! TWO!!!
Stew-O: Gambino grabs Justin and rolls him in to the ring. Justin rolls on the mat, still holding that shoulder, as Mike climbs the apron. Mike enters the ring and sees Justin on one knee holding his left shoulder. Mike shakes his head, KICK to the gut! Mike kicks Justin who falls back on to his backside!
Flannery McCoy: Justin is using his one good arm to try and block but NO! Gambino stomps on his left shoulder as Justin falls flat on his back. Mike puts the boots to Justin over and over before running to the corner and scaling the top rope. Mike looks around the crowd as the hometown crowd boos the local indy star. Mike shrugs his shoulders and takes aim. Mike leaps off the turnbuckle…
Stew-O: METEORITE…NO!!! The diving elbow fails! Justin rolls right out the way of that signature flying elbow from Mike Gambino!
Jake Mercer: Justin is slowly fighting to his feet! He was almost ended with that elbow if it connected as Mike was aiming for that bad shoulder! Justin gets to his feet as the crowd cheers. He’s still favoring that left shoulder but is fighting through it as Gambino gets to his feet. RIGHT JAB by Justin! ANOTHER JAB BY JUSTIN! ANOTHER…NO! Mike blocks it! Mike cracks Justin with a chest chop! He hits another chest chop! ANOTHER CHEST CHOP! MIKE THROWS A STRONG ARM LARIAT…NO! Justin ducks! BACKSTABBER!!!
Flannery McCoy: Justin hits a backstabber as Mike spins around from that clothesline attempt! Mike is rolled over onto his back…COVER!
Stew-O: Mike kicks out! Solid backstabber from Justin but Mike kicks out! Justin slaps the mat but he isn’t done! Justin slides away, getting in to position. Mike is dazed, using the nearby ring ropes to get to his feet. Justin is still holding that shoulder but he slaps his chest and starts huffing and puffing! Justin is stalking Gambino! Gambino has his back to Justin! Mike has one hand on the top rope as he stands up! Justin charges!
Flannery McCoy: LIGHTS OUT!!!
Stew-O: NO!!!!! THE REVERSE RKO CUTTER FAILS AS MIKE HANGS ON TO THE ROPES AND JUSTIN LANDS BADLY ON THAT LEFT SHOULDER AGAIN! Mike turns, he sees Justin holding that shoulder again! Mike charges…he gets Justin to his feet…HE HOOKS HIS ARMS!
Jake Mercer: SWEET DREAMS! HE HITS THE DOUBLE UNDERHOOK DDT AND ROLLS JUSTIN TO HIS BACK! COVER!
Flannery McCoy: JUSTIN’S GRABBING THE BOTTOM ROPE!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stew-O: My god! The ref missed Justin’s hand being on the bottom ropes! Gambino steals this win here tonight in his hometown!
Stephie Love: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…MIKE GAMBINO!!!!
(Mercenary’s “Bolt Thrower” blasts as Mike rolls out of the ring and smiles as fans begin booing. Justin gets to his knees and yells at the referee who is oblivious to everything.)
Flannery McCoy: Justin fought so hard but after that shot at the ring post and that Sweet Dreams DDT, it looked like it was over but he STILL managed to grab the ropes to break the count. Only thing is, the ref didn’t see it! Justin was robbed!
Jake Mercer: Robbed, Sobbed! Justin shouldn’t have even been in that position if he wanted to leave here tonight with a win!
(We cut backstage as we see StarrStan eating a powdered donut, about to take his first bite, standing next to a coffee machine.)
Michael Belfort: StarrStan! StarrStan! May I have a quick word!
StarrStan: I…um…was busy…but sure, ask away!
Michael Belfort: Well, with speculation of SOSA Henderson and Cage being unable to compete at Operation: Doomsday, what are your ideas for both of the blockbuster matches they were in that have been essentially cancelled?
StarrStan: Well, as we always say, “Card subject to change”. Things happen. Bad, bad things happened to SOSA and Cage. It was heinous attacks from Drake King and Darkane that caused these changes but things change and we adapt. Drake King will have a match at Operation: Doomsday. Vic Venom has earned a spot on that pay per view card and the fans will get a special show out of Friday Night Dynasty live on FPV!
Michael Belfort: That’s promising. What about Drake and Darkane? Will they be punished in anyway for their vicious attacks?
StarrStan: My hands were tied. I was unable to suspend both of these men but they will face their fates soon enough and karma can be very unkind to unkind people. I don’t wish ill will towards any member of my roster despite what Eric Havoc may think. But, I do want to see the best match ups possible as this season progresses!
Michael Belfort: Beautiful! Another question…
???: StanStarr, a word please
(Over walks Provencal, looking very earnestly and positive.)
StarrStan: That’s not my name but go right ahead, Provencal.
Provencal: Well, as you know. I have very much a lot of kids.
StarrStan: Yes, I think everyone does.
Provencal: Yes, lots of kids I have. Well, I know they have friends. Friends with social media accounts. Several of them. TwitterGrams, SnapBooks, various things. I have been slandered, ridiculed, and mocked by one Eric Havoc nonstop for weeks as he mocks Provencal for not being true talent. He mocks me for not being a true talent wrestler and I want to know what you think.
StarrStan: Think about what?
Provencal: About this.
StarrStan: About Eric Havoc slander? He is very hot or cold. He hates you, he hates Archimedes, and he hates me to no end! Why? I have no clue. Rumors say it’s something about some company closing that EAW has nothing to do with. Something about me allowing guys to be entertaining on Dynasty. I don’t know. All I know is I know you are talented Provencal. He’s projecting some insecurities I think. He might be jealous at how loved you are with these fans!
Provencal: Yeah. But, thing being, is he has a point. I have been a joke. A jokey joke and it hurts knowing someone can judge me as I try my best. No longer, tho. I want to make him a joke! True talent this, true talent that, he says mean things but couldn’t beat Jake Smith not one time in his career and Jake Smith has girly hair!
StarrStan: Look, don’t let Eric Havoc get to you. He’s a talented guy but he has the attention span of a goldfish! He had the nerve to claim I suspended him because he has been running his mouth and claimed I kept guys like Damon Diesel off of the show when he has no idea what’s going on. You make sure you take the great El Landerson on tonight and show everyone you are more than just a funny guy, Provencal. You have my blessing to steal the show and “take it all” tonight!
Provencal: Yea, yes! I may not be the fastest or the strongest or most in shape or most technical or mostest brutal competitor, monsieur! But! I am smart, very very smart! Landerson will learn how smart I am is tonight! Also, what does the “Winner take all” win? What is all?
StarrStan: You have to win to find out!
Provencal: Of course…I will, oui!
(Provencal nods and exits the scene as Michael Belfort and StarrStan are seen smiling briefly in at his exit.)
???: Excuse me…
(Over walks the beautiful Lindsey Kingsley, sashaying past Belfort and StarrStan.)
Lindsey Kingsley: Hello, StarrStan! My name is Lindsey…Kingsley that is.I must say, I am so excited to be apart of this roster! I know you seemed to advocate for me to join your show so I am grateful to be apart of a show with such a caring, supportive guy like you StarrStan.
StarrStan: My god, someone that doesn’t hate my guts or everything I do! Why thank you, Lindsey! Welcome to Dynasty! I know giving you a match up with Darcy May Morgan seems like a big task seeing as she has become one of the top stars so far this season but I trust you will make a great impression and compete with that big heart in your chest.
Lindsey Kingsley: Why thank you! I appreciate that! I know I may be older than most of these men and women and like Provencal, I may not be the best wrestler but I have the heart and support of many people like me and I can’t wait to reverse father time’s clock and become one of the best elitists you have ever signed! You will not regret bringing me here!
StarrStan: Yeah, plus we couldn’t legally allow another blonde milf on the same show as Gavin Kirkland. After his fapping at Midsummer: Massacre, we don’t want to lose anymore sponsors!
Lindsey Kingsley: Right! I’ll see you two boys around!
(Lindsey and her amazing milf body walk away as Michael Belfort and StarrStan watch her butt as she leaves.)
Stew-O: Linsdey Kingsley will be facing Darcy May Morgan next!
Flannery McCoy: Don’t forget, Remi Skyfire will be ringside as well!
Jake Mercer: I…I just got a text message from Gavin Kirkland. It’s the eggplant emoji 40 times in a row. So yeah, I guess he approves of StarrStan’s latest signing as well!
(We cut to the ringside area as Stephie Love is seen with her microphone in front of her mouth.)
Stephie Love: Ladies and gentlemen… This match… Is SCHEDULED FOR…
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Stephie Love: Introducing first BILLED FROM KENT, UNITED KINGDOM… WEIGHING IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY POUNDS… THE LEADING LADY… DAAAAARRRRCCCCYYYY… MAAAAAAAAAAAYYY… MOOOOOOOORRRRGGAAAAAAAAAANNN!!
(“How Bad Do You Want It” by Sevyn Streeter hits and Darcy May Morgan walks down to the ring escorted by Remi Skyfire. The crowd boos the two while they walk down together.)
Jake Mercer: These two have been so good as of late. They’re one of the top emerging tag teams in the company and I see them making a big impact in the tag team division, in the future. They just have such great star power.
Stew-O: Okay, we get it, you’ve got a hard on for Darcy and Remi, admittedly, I can’t deny their talent. I think they have a good shot at having a bright future as a tag team in EAW too.
Flannery McCoy: It is pretty hard to deny that the duo have talent on their side, although I don’t quite agree with some of their tactics and mannerisms, the in-ring talent is definitely there.
(Darcy May Morgan gets in her respective corner as Remi Skyfire backs her up, standing outside of the ring. The mood of the arena changes from boos to cheers once her opponent’s theme song, “Bad Decisions (Mashup)” by Ariana Grande and Demi Lovato, hits and she begins to walk down the aisle.)
Stephie Love: AAAAAAAND HER OPPONENT!! FROM LAAASHING, MIIIICHIIIIGAAAAN… WEEEEIIIIGHHINNNGGG IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO POOOUUUUUNDS… LIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNDSSSEEEEEEEEEEYYYY KIIIIIINGGGGSSSLLEEEEEEEEYYYY!!!
Steve-O: I was so impressed watching what she did at Voltage last week, in a victory against Eric Dane Jr. She’s a late comer to the industry, debuting at the age of forty years old, but she proved that he can still go. She has certainly retained her athleticism throughout her
Jake Mercer: Her athleticism isn’t the only thing she retained through her age :smugcena:
Flannery McCoy: You’re a pig.
(Lindsey Kingsley rolls into the ring, still pandering to the crowd. After pandering, she gets into her corner, ready to face off with her opponent, Darcy. They intensely stare at each other until the bell rings.)
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Flannery McCoy: And the match is underway, these two waste little time going after each other, connecting arms and grappling each other. They wrestle for dominance as each other two try to outpower the other, pushing Lindsey to a knee, Darcy outpowers her, but Lindsey uses her quickness and athleticism to swim move around Darcy and lock her arms around her abdomen. Lindsey then runs into a turnbuckle, using Darcy as a shield. Taking advantage of the impact, Darcy rolls Lindsey up!
Referee: ONE!!! TWOO!!!!!
Stew-O: An early close call! Lindsey tried to put her opponent away early. That would have shocked the world! Lindsey doesn’t let up though, instantly kicking her seated opponent in the face, knocking her back down to her back.
Jake Mercer: It looks like Lindsey really wants to put this away early, she’s going up to the top rope as her foe seems to be knocked out on her back. She’s waiting for Darcy to get to her feet, she can’t be thinking about hitting the Got MILF already, can she?
Flannery McCoy: If she’s determined on putting Darcy away early, it seems like that’s what she is going to attempt. Darcy gets up to her feet and Lindsey launches off the top! She flies at her! GOT MILF!! NO- DARCY DROPKICKS LINDSEY OUT OF MID AIR! IT SENDS LINDSEY FLYING ACROSS THE RING, SHE ALREADY LOOKS BROKEN, OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY GET HELP!
Stew-O: Darcy gets back up to her feet after a devastating dropkick and wipes blood from her nose that has been drawn early into the match. The blood came from contact from Lindsey kicking her in the nose after kicking out of her roll up. Darcy looks on at Lindsey who looks like she was split in half.
Jake Mercer: Now look at Darcy showing her aggression towards Lindsey, grabbing her hair and pulling her to her feet. This is why I see a bright future in her, she’s not afraid to go the extra mile to prove her point. She’s holding Lindsey by the hair with a very angry stare on her face.
Darcy May Morgan: You bitch!
Jake Mercer: :gladbron:
Flannery McCoy: The disrespect from Darcy, now she slaps Lindsey across the face, dropping her to the ground again. She continues the pursuit, kicking her in the gut while she’s down. She now puts her boot on Lindsey’s throat and uses the ropes to apply more pressure, trying to close her throat! The referee begins the count, trying to get Darcy to break the hold.
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
Stew-O: Darcy lets go of the rope and steps off of the throat of Lindsey and throws her hands up in the air, telling the referee not to disqualify her. After releasing the hold, Darcy turns around and gives Lindsey another stomp. Darcy continues following up by grabbing the arm and the leg of Lindsey and pulling her to the middle of the ring. She stands over Lindsey and throws her hands in the air, taunting the crowd as they shower her in boos.
Jake Mercer: Lindsey takes advantage of Darcy’s emotions though and trips her up! Darcy smacks the back of her head off of the mat hard. Lindsey quickly retreats, rolling over to the ropes and grabs the ropes, helping herself up to her feet. Subsequently, Darcy uses the ropes on the other side of the ring to get to her feet as well. Darcy charges at Lindsey, LINDSEY CATCHES DARCY WITH A KICK TO THE GUT! A VICIOUS SNAP DDT, TAKING DARCY BACK TO THE GROUND!
Flannery McCoy: Now look at Lindsey turning into the hunter as she waits for Darcy to get up again, this time not on the top rope, she won’t allow herself to get ahead of herself again. Darcy very hazily makes her way to her feet and Lindsey takes advantage of Darcy still being out of it by hitting a stiff roundhouse kick taking her back to the ground.
Stew-O: That looked painful, the way the kick made Darcy land on her back and roll onto her stomach! Now look at Lindsey being the one showing aggression! Darcy must have pissed her off! She grabs Darcy by the hair and pulls her up– SHE TOSSES HER ACROSS THE RING BY HER HAIR! THAT HAD TO HURT.
Jake Mercer: NOT HER BEAUTIFUL HAIR :mjcry:
Flannery McCoy: *sigh*
Stew-O: WAIT NOW LOOK AT LINDSEY, SHE’S GOING UP TO THE TOP ROPE AGAIN. THIS TIME SHE’S LOOKING FOR THE “WE CAN DO IT” BUT WAIT, NO! REMI SKYFIRE IS ON THE APRON! SHE’S GRABBING THE ANKLE OF LINDSEY KINGSLEY. SHE’S NOT LETTING LINDSEY LAUNCH ONTO HER PARTNER!
Flannery McCoy: NOW AS LINDSEY KICKS REMI OFF THE APRON, DARCY LAUNCHES HERSELF ONTO THE TURNBUCKLES WITH LINDSEY! LINDSEY THROWS A CLOSED HAND PUNCH AT DARCY, DARCY GRABS LINDSEY’S HAIR AND THROWS HER HEAD DOWN, BASHING LINDSEY’S NOSE OFF HER OWN KNEE. NOW LOOK AT THIS, DARCY HOISTS LINDSEY ONTO HER SHOULDER AND FALLS WITH A SUPERPLEX!! THEY BOTH CRASH! BOTH WOMEN’S BACKS HIT HARD OFF OF THE MAT!
Jake Mercer: Lindsey took most of the impact as she clutches her back and yells out for help. Darcy is reaching out for her partner, Remi Skyfire, who reaches in the ring, trying to help her. Lindsey still twists and turns from pain as Remi helps Darcy stabilize. Once Darcy’s stable, she heads back over to Lindsey and pulls her to her feet- IMPRETTIER!!! NO! NOT LIKE THIS! NOT WITH THE HELP OF REMI! DARCY COVERS!
Referee: ONE!!!!! TWOOO!!!!! THREEEEEEE!!!!!
Stew-O: NO!!! LINDSEY USES ALL OF HER POWER IN A KICK OUT! DARCY IS IN AWE! HOW DID LINDSEY KICK OUT OF A SUPERPLEX AND AN IMPRETTIER?! THIS IS CRAZY! Oh no.. Look at the look on her face, we know this means she’s stalking Lindsey.. It looks like she’s eyeing the DDD, Don’t Diss Darcy…
Flannery McCoy: Lindsey is on her feet.. Watch out, Lindsey.. WATCH OUT! NO- MATRIX EVASION! DARCY FLIES OVER LINDSEY! LINDSEY IS PULLS DARCY TO HER FEET! LOVE GALORE! LOVE GALORE! SHE HITS IT! THE LOVE GALORE CONNECTS ON DARCY!
Jake Mercer: NOW WE KNOW WHAT’S COMING NEXT AS LINDSEY EYES THE TOP ROPE! SHE’S HEADING UP! OH MY GOD, REMI COMING TO THE AID AGAIN- NO! LINDSEY BOOTS REMI DOWN! SHE’S STILL GOING UP! NO REMI IN SIGHT! SHE LAUNCHES! WE CAN DO IT! IT CONNECTS LINDSEY JUST HIT A SPLIT LEG DROP ON HER OPPONENT, DARCY MAY MORGAN! IT’S OVER!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREEEEEE——
Stew-O: NOO! NO! NO! REMI SKYFIRE PULLS THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING! THE REFEREE IS YELLING AT REMI SKYFIRE!
Flannery McCoy: SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! THAT’S A TEN COUNT! LINDSEY HAS THE MATCH WON! SHE’S PISSED! SHE’S YELLING AT REMI SKYFIRE, WHO’S ARGUING WITH THE REFEREE. I’D BE PISSED TOO!
Stew-O: DARCY MAY MORGAN HAS BEEN DOWN AND OUT FOR SO LONG! LINDSEY HAD THIS MATCH WON IF IT WEREN’T FOR REMI SKYFIRE! REMI HAS RUINED THIS MATCH! LINDSEY KINGSLEY HAS A RIGHT TO BE PISSED OFF! THIS ISN’T THE FIRST, BUT THE SECOND TIME THAT REMI SKYFIRE HAS COSTED LINDSEY THE VICTORY!
Jake Mercer: THE REFEREE EJECTS REMI SKYFIRE! REMI IS SENT TO THE BACK! THIS IS A TRAVESTY! LOOK AT THE SMUG LOOK ON THE FACE OF LINDSEY I HOPE SHE’S HAPPY- DARCY ROLLS UP LINDSEY IN THE CONFUSION REMI POINTS AT IT AND THE REFEREE SLIDES INTO THE RING AND BEGINS HIS COUNT! LET’S GO!
Referee: ONE!!!! TWO!!!-
Flannery McCoy: AN ANGRY LINDSEY JUST KICKED OUT OF THE ROLL UP! DARCY IS SHOCKED! I’D BE SCARED IF I WAS DARCY! SHE REALLY JUST PISSED LINDSEY OFF! LINDSEY BACKS DARCY INTO THE CORNER WITH A SADISTIC LOOK ON HER FACE! SHE SLOWLY APPROACHES HER- REMI SKYFIRE RUNS BACK DOWN TO THE RING! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! THE REFEREE CONTINUES TO TELL HER TO LEAVE. HE THREATENS TO DISQUALIFY DARCY AND REMI FINALLY TURNS AROUND AND WALKS AWAY! ONCE REMI TURNS AROUND- DARCY TURNS AROUND LINDSEY! CURTAIN CALL! THE COVER!
Referee: ONE!!!! TWO!!!!!! THREEEEEE!!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
(Remi Skyfire runs down to the ring to celebrate with Darcy as the referee raises her hand. Stephie Love speaks to the arena and the crowd boos.)
Stephie Love: HERE IS YOUR WINNER… DAAAAAARRRRRCCCCYYYY MAYYYYYYYYY MOOOOOOOOOOORRRGAAAAAAAAN!!!
Flannery McCoy: NO! THAT WAS A DISGRACE TO THE SPORT!
Jake Mercer: :goat: That was the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.
Stew-O: I have to agree with Flannery here, that was such a great match until Remi ruined it. The potential that Lindsey showed during this match was unreal. I can’t wait to see what she does in the future!
(We cut to the outside of Barclays center. We see a young woman standing in front of two folded chairs, holding a megaphone, as people pass her by on the street.)
???: MY NAME IS TARA CELECI! I AM THE GIRLFRIEND OF ERIC HAVOC!
(Tara stands on the chair as she is posted right in front of the giant marquee screen letting everyone know EAW Friday Night Dynasty was being taped inside the home of the Brooklyn Nets.)
Tara Celeci: I AM THE BETTER HALF OF THE BEST PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER IN THE WORLD! My boyfriend was silenced after speaking the truth about the evil StarrStan and his litany of Jobbers Inc. soldiers! Eric Havoc was cheated by one of these Jobbers Inc fools by the name of Archimedes J. Manson last week and this week Eric was suspended for speaking his mind and telling you all the truth. The truth? StarrStan is ruining Friday Night Dynasty! He has talented stars like Kassidy Heart not wrestling week to week when that’s exactly what the fans want! StarrStan is signing bimbos like Lindsey Kingsley and giving Provencal matches higher on the card than my boyfriend who is, like I said before, THE BEST PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER IN THE WORLD! Eric Havoc is the best in the world! Eric Havoc was SUSPENDED BY STARRSTAN AND NOT BEEN ABLE TO PERFORM THIS WEEK FOR ALL OF YOU TRUE WRESTLING PURISTS OUT THERE! WHY? Cause Eric Havoc has rejected the idea of being a joke like Landerson
(The crowd of people outside immediately boo Tara.)
Jake Mercer: I like Eric but this dumb bitch better watch it. El Landerson is the goat.
Tara Celecis: Being a joke like Provencal! Being a joke like Archimedes J. Manson! Eric spent last season being the brunt of the jokes but the jokes are over! Eric Havoc will not be silenced! Not now, not ever! Eric Havoc and I are going to ruin each and every Friday Night Dynasty until we make StarrStan see the error of his ways! There is nothing anyone can do about it! Either you join us or you be destroyed by Eric! Right, baby?
(Eric Havoc walks in to the frame, looking muscular and imposing. He gives Tara a kiss on the cheek and grabs the megaphone.)
Eric Havoc: That’s right! The clock is ticking on StarrStan and EAW! All you jokers and jobbers incorporated losers are going to have to answer to me! I am going to grab the brass ring of EAW, rid this company of comedians like Provencal, and make StarrStan and EAW’s ass kissers bow down! You people hear me? StarrStan I have a personal vendetta against you and EAW and I will not rest until I get revenge! You can’t just suspend me and expect I stay quiet.
(Over walks El Landerson as the entire building loses their shit.)
Crowd: LAN-DER-SON!! LAN-DER-SON!! LAN-DER-SON!!
El Landerson: Sir, you are loud very much. Ok. Also, yes. StarrStan told me to tell you, you not suspended from EAW friday night dynasty. You not suspended from EAW StarrStan says. You are very loud.
Eric Havoc: Look, Landerson, beat it! We are protesting this establishment and yes, I was suspended! StarrStan and EAW suspended me for destroying all of their jobber jokesters like RUMPKE, RAYBAO, and if you don’t get out of here you will be next and you and Provencal can join those guys in the hospital!
El Landerson: You sound crazy. No. You crazy. You sound like you sound crazy. No, you stay outside and cry like kid. I am going back in there and beating Provencal and winning it all tonight on Friday Night Dynasty. Here comes the boom.
(Landerson nods as the crowd is going nuts. A shot of a young girl crying tears of joy as Landerson leaves the scene and Havoc and his girlfriend remain.)
Tara Celeci: Babe, I thought you said you were suspended?
Eric Havoc: He’s lying! StarrStan suspended me. Maybe StarrStan lifted the suspension? I don’t know…but, if we can get in that building…maybe we can make an IMPACT of our own?
(We see Ronan Malosi, creeping out of a side door that reads “DO NOT ENTER” on it. Eric and Tara turn to see him.)
Ronan Malosi: You…you two are making some sense. StarrStan brought me in and keeps me tagging with this Jason McKormick fella and we can’t stand each other really. Plus, every week…I’m left carrying this guy and if he blows this match for me tonight…I don’t know what I’ll do. Anyway, come on in this way. I do you this favor and maybe down the line you can do a favor for me!
(Eric and Tara smirk and walk towards Ronan and the door as we cut from the outside of the building back to the ring.)
Stephie Love: Our next contest is scheduled for…
Crowd: ONE FALL
Stephie Love: And is a tag team match!
(“Fight song” by Sister Sin blasts as out walks Celes Dumont And Miho-Li. The crowd boos as Celes and Miho begin making their way down the ramp.)
Stephie Love: Weighing in at a combined weight of 270 pounds…from Boston, Massachusetts and Riverside, California…CELES DUMONT AND MIHO LI…FAAAAAATAAAALLLL DESSSSTTTTINNNY!!!
Stew-O: Life hasn’t been easy for the girls of Fatal Destiny so far this season. Being ridiculed by many and having an all out feud with Osamu Arcichida after he rejected their offer to join them, things have been rough for these two in particular.
Flannery McCoy: Not to mention the serious concussion that Celes sustained from Remi, Darcy, and Vic Venom but also the severity of the concussion being amplified by Osamu last week!
Jake Mercer: I’m rooting for these two because I know they have so much more to show us all!
(Celes And Miho enter the ring and begin to strategize as their music fades out. “DEVIL” by Shinedown plays as out walks Jason McKormick with his arms wide open.)
Stephie Love: AND THEIR OPPONENTS, FIRST…from Jackson, Michigan…weighing 235 pounds…JAAAAASSSSSOOOONN MCCCKKKOOORRRRMIIIICKKK!!!
Stew-O: An up and down season as well for Jason but hopefully he can bounce back on his feet with a huge win here tonight!
(Jason stands on stage with his arms wide as his music fades out. “Lunacy” by Swav blasts as out stomps Ronan Malosi. Ronan let’s out a loud roar before he and Jason walk down the ramp.)
Stephie Love: AND his partner, from Cape Town, South Africa…weighing 251 pounds…ROOOONAAAAN MALOOOOOOSI!!!
Flannery McCoy: Great showing in a loss to a former World champion like Darkane isn’t a huge slight for a newbie like Ronan. But a win over Fatal Destiny could do a lot for him this evening!
(Ronan and Jason walk to the ring and enter it as the music fades out.)
Stew-O: Jason McKormick and Miho start off the match. Miho attacks Jason with a stiff dropkick as Jason eats it and stays on his feet. Miho gets up and charges him again. Another dropkick as Jason stumbles backwards into the ring ropes. Miho runs once again…SPINNING WHEEL KICK! NO! Jason catches her mid air and is carrying little Miho! McKormick is carrying her to the center of the ring. HE SWINGS HER IN THE AIR…FACEBUSTER AS HE DRIVE MIHO IN TO THE RING!
Jake Mercer: Jason gets to his feet, he rolls Miho on to her back. He mounts, PUNCHES DOWN ON TO MIHO AS SHE TRIES TO BLOCK THEM WITH HER HANDS! Jason is pummeling Miho as the ref warns him about those closed fists. Jason laughs as we see Miho Ali’s lip is already got a cut from one of those punches!
Flannery McCoy: Jason backs away and gets up as Miho rolls to her feet. RUNNING FOREARM TO MIHO BY JASON! Jason is all over Miho as he waits for her to get back up again. SPEAR! NO! Miho hops over Jason and she lands behind him. Jason turns to find Miho and KNIFE EDGE CHOP! Miho counters the spear with a stiff chop that lights up McKormick. Miho steps back, MUAY THAI KICK TO THE LEG OF JASON FROM MIHO! Miho is striking all over Jason and she takes another step back…SUPER KICK!
Stew-O: NO! Jason catches Miho’s foot and has her hopping on one leg! Jason smiles with that sadistic smile! WAIT! Miho leaps…ENZIGURI KICK TO THE HEAD BY MIHO TO MCKORMICK! Jason drops to his knees as Miho gets up and keeps on attacking! Miho grabs Jason’s head…DDT! Miho plants him right on his head! Miho rolls him over for the cover!
Ref: ONE!!! TWO!!! NO!!!
Flannery McCoy: Kick out by Jason! McKormick fosses Miho right off as both her and him trying to get to their feet. Jason is up and he lunges at Miho who moves out the way and runs to her corner. Tag! Celes Dumont is the legal person as Jason watches her climb the turnbuckle. DIVING CROSSBODY! NO! Jason catches her in midair like he did Miho! Wait! MIHO IS STILL IN THE RING! SUPERKICK TO JASON BY MIHO AS HE FALLS BACKWARDS WITH CELES IN HIS ARMS! COVER!
Ref: ONE!!! TWO!!! NO!!!
Stew-O: Jason fosses Celes off of him like he did Miho! McKormick staggers to his feet as Celes rolls on the mat and to her feet. Celes strikes! Forearm strike to the jaw by Dumont! Another! Another! Celes ROCKS JAson with a headbutt! Celes is in control! Spinning backfist…MISSES! McKormick blocks the move with his right hand as he catches her arm before she can slap him. EUROPEAN UPPERCUT FROM JASON SENDS CELES BACKWARDS! McKormick is back in this as he charges Celes Dumont. JUMPING KNEE SMASH! Celes goes flying and lands on her back!
Flannery McCoy: Celes rolls backwards and gets on her hands and knees. Jason sees this. He sprints. PUNT TO THE HEAD…MISSES! Celes avoids that kick to the skull as Jason runs past her and ends up in his own corner tag. Jason turns and sees Ronan smirking and laughing. Wait. Ronan has tagged himself in and the ref is forcing Jason out of the ring and the match!
Stew-O: Ronan is disrespecting his tag team partner! He waves off Jason like he was nothing! Remember, Jason got pinned the last time these two teamed up!
Flannery McCoy: Looks like Ronan is going to do what he did to Damon Diesel to Celes Du-GREETINGS FROM JURON! WOW! OUT OF NOWHERE! CELES DUMONT DROPS RONAN WITH THAY F-5! Jason is on the apron shaking his head! Celes tags in her cousin! MIHO CLIMBS THE TURNBUCKLE…DEADLY LITTLE MIHO! 720 splash on to Ronan Malosi who is out cold on the mat! Jason sees this and…he hops off the ring apron and is leaving! Jason is leaving Ronan high and dry!
Stew-O: Miho covers Ronan!
Ref: ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Stephie Love: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS…FATAL DESTINY!
Flannery McCoy: Jason McKormick is the one turning his back in his partner as Ronan Malosi went from a close match with Darkane to being beaten by Celes and Miho in seconds after forcing his way in to the match!
Jake Mercer: Huge win for Fatal Destiny and a great showing by everybody except Ronan!
(We cut backstage as we are shown Darcy May Morgan and Remi Skyfire following DMM’s match earlier.)
Remi Skyfire: You see that? Great work out there, another big win for you Darcy!
Darcy May Morgan: Couldn’t have done it without you, Remi! We are looking pretty unstoppable when we are by each other’s side I got to say!
Remi Skyfire: To think, if me and you were ringside for each others matches against Serena Bennett and Kassidy Heart, we both could have beaten those sluts and spoiled their Barbie doll title match at Operation: Doomsday.
Darcy May Morgan: Feels like we should keep this partnership thing going. Maybe we can really take Dynasty over and get those tag titles from Heavenly Hell one day?
Remi Skyfire: Heavenly Hell, more like Heavenly Pale!
???: Fuck all that.
Darcy May Morgan: Huh?
(Over walks Lethal Consequences, guitar in hand, as he walks by both of the women backstage.)
Remi Skyfire: What the hell do you want?
Lethal Consequence: :dave:
Darcy May Morgan: Is that all you came to do?
Lethal Consequences: You two are two big for your britches. To skinny for them skirts, got me?
Darcy May Morgan: What?
Remi Skyfire: Pardon us, Grandpa…come again?
Lethal Consequences: Always coming, never going nowhere. ‘Cept MSM…seen me didn’t ya?
Remi Skyfire: At Midsummer Massacre? Yeah. You are always at Midsummer Massacre. So what?
Lethal Consequences: So what? So what is wrong. So what about I beat that fucker at Midsummer Massacre despite being on Dynasty and it being a Showdown show? So what about me getting my last chance at that World Title as long as that fucker Imp is still swinging around the monkey bars with that belt around his waist? So what about when I beat Imp at Operation: Doomsday and take that damn belt and come back next year at Operation: Doomsday and defend that belt on that show…will you broads give me my just due?
Remi Skyfire: If you beat Impact for that World title…and have the balls to defend it at the next year’s Midsummer Massacre, I’ll do you one better. I will challenge you for that very title myself and we can both fight for it, how about that?
Darcy May Morgan: Shoot, how about I get in on this proposition, too! Me and my partner against you for your World title at Midsummer Massacre, huh?
Remi Skyfire: I mean, the likelihood of you winning that title against Impact is already slim. The chances of you winning and retaining that title for a whole year are even slimmer. Maybe you should start looking for a tag team partner yourself, LC.
Darcy May Morgan: Yeah, seeing as if you lose to Imp in this match you can’t challenge him for his belt until he loses it! You might be better off looking elsewhere for your gold fixation.
Lethal Consequences: :dave: you goofy bitches. I’ma get that belt. I’m gonna get me that belt and dig a grave a mile high for Karlise Impotent Jerimiah and his shitty spiked jackets and ghost cum make-up. You hear me good, fuckers!
(Lethal strums the guitar and leaves the scene as DMM and Remi are left shaking their heads collectively. A promotional ad for the Voltage exclusive event, Bloodsport, airs. Malcolm Jones defends the EAW World Championship in an Electrified Steel Cage of Death match, Terry Chambers defends the EAW Interwire Championship in a No Disqualification Submissions Match, and Consuela Rose Ava faces Jesse Barlow in a Fans Bring the Weapons Grudge match! All that and more as Bloodsports comes to live on August 10th, 2019 from the TD Garden in Boston, Massachusetts!)
(Dynasty cuts back to the live broadcast and ‘Resistance’ by Skillet is playing throughout the building. The focus is on the broadcast booth where Drake King and Jake Smith are sitting down and putting on headsets.)
Drake King: Hi.
Jake Smith: Hi.
(DURING THE BREAK: The Roundtable are seen making their ring entrance and going straight for the broadcast booth. They unceremoniously tell Flannery and Stew-O to take a hike, while Jake and Jake shake heads and bond over their luxurious hair :wow:. Jake Mercer eventually takes his leave, and The Roundtable will be calling the next match by themselves.)
Stephie Love: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR…
Crowd: ONE FALL!
(“Ronin” by Within the Ruins begins to play, which signals the arrival of Vic Venom.)
Stephie Love: INTRODUCING FIRST… FROM OSLO, NORWAY… WEIGHING IN AT 225 POUNDS.. HE IS THE MORNINGSTAR… VIC VENOM!
Jake Smith: What’s a Morningstar?
Drake King: A star that only appears in the morning? I don’t know, and I don’t care. What I care about is the fact Vic Venom stuck his nose where it didn’t belong last week and cost us the win against two women who aren’t very good at this. Remi Skyfire and Darcy May Morgan got real lucky last week on Dynasty and now Vic Venom is going to pay for that.
Jake Smith: Remi and Darcy don’t deserve to have a win over The Roundtable, and I really hope you put Vic in his place. He’s nothing but a clout chasing mother fu-
Drake King: Ahem.
Jake Smith: Fudger. I was clearly going to say mother fudger.
Drake King: :usure:
(Vic makes his way over to the announce table and talks some sh*t to Drake. Drake simply shoos Vic away.)
Drake King: Just get in the ring, dude.
(Vic eventually gets in the ring and once he does, his music fades out. It’s replaced by “Stitch” by Wage War. The crowd erupts in cheers as the National Elite Champion, Jack Ripley, steps on to the stage.)
Stephie Love: AND HIS OPPONENT… FROM LAS VEGAS, NEVADA… WEIGHING IN AT 202 POUNDS… HE IS THE NATIONAL ELITE CHAMPION… JACK RIPLEY!
Jake Smith: This is going to be one of the last times we hear Jack announced as the National Elite champion.
Drake King: :wow:
Jake Smith: At Operation Doomsday I’m going to make the most of the opportunity that’s being presented to me and capture my first championship here in EAW. It feels good to be able to say that and actually mean it, knowing I don’t have dead weight attached to me anymore.
Drake King: Gotta love the branding iron.
Jake Smith: Jack’s had a good run, but it’s time that championship joined The Roundtable.
(Jack shoots Jake a weary look as he makes his way to the ring, and once he’s inside, he poses with the belt. After a moment, Jack hands the title off and the referee signals for the bell.)
(Ding! Ding! Ding!)
Drake King: Well this should be fun.
Jake Smith: Will it though?
Drake King: No.
Jake Smith: These two losers lock up, with Jack grabbing Vic by the wrist and bringing him to his knees. Vic works his way back up, but Jack stays on him, and Vic is forced to drop down, roll through, and he sweeps Jack’s feet out from underneath of him! Vic is up quickly and he rushes the ropes… but Jack is up too! He grabs Vic from behind and plants with him a double knee backbreaker! Jack with a quick cover!
Jake Smith: VIC KICKS OUT!
Drake King: O.
Jake Smith: Both men are back on their feet and Vic whips around… looking to connect with a spinning heel kick! Jack ducks and jumps in the air. DROPKICK! NO! VIC SIDE STEPS HIM! JACK QUICKLY GETS BACK UP AND THEY LOCK UP AGAIN!
Drake King: Truly riveting stuff. Vic looks for a side headlock on Jack, but Jack quickly gets behind Vic, locks him around the waist, and looks to bring him down to the mat! Vic with some elbows, and they catch Jack in the face, which allows Vic to grab Jack in a headlock and start wrenching the neck. He drops down to a knee to gain a little more leverage, and the soon-to-be former National Elite Champion-
Jake Smith: :wow:
Drake King: … fights his way back up and is able to elbow his way out of the headlock! He sends Vic into the ropes! Vic ducks a clothesline on the rebound! Jack with a dropkick and this time he takes down Vic Venom! Vic rolls towards the ropes, while Jack stomps away on him! Vic grabs the ropes, which causes Jack to back off just a second… taking notes?
Jake Smith: Clean breaks. Kind of a bi-
Drake King: :usure:
Jake Smith: Ahem. Kind of a lame move.
Drake King: Vic works his way back up to his feet and Jack forces him into the corner! Shoulder thrust! Chest chop! Shoulder thrust! KICK TO THE GUT! JACK WITH SHOOT STYLE KICKS ALL OVER VIC VENOM! CHEST CHOP! ANOTHER CHOP! JACK IS JUST LIGHTING UP VIC VENOM NOW!
Jake Smith: I mean, those chops don’t seem THAT hard.
(As if on cue, Jack Ripley chops the living sh*t out of Vic Venom, leaving a large red handprint across the rookie’s chest. Drake and Jake visibly cringe as Vic drops to his knees.)
Drake King: Well…
Jake Smith: I won’t let him chop me.
Drake King: :mjgrin:
Jake Smith: Jack backs up… RUNNING KNEE TO THE HEAD! DAYLIGHT SLAYING TIME! VIC EATS THAT KNEE AND FALLS FORWARD ONTO HIS FACE! JACK LEAPS IN THE AIR! FOOT STOMP TO THE BACK OF VIC VENOM! JACK JERKS VIC UP BY THE HAIR… DROPS HIM WITH A DDT… AND NOW HE IS GOING TO THE TOP ROPE!
Drake King: Hmmmm. Moonsault?
Jake Smith: MOONSAULT FROM THE TOP ROPE!
Drake King: :wow:
Jake Smith: BUT WAIT!
Drake King: HEY! HE MOVED!
Jake Smith: Vic Venom rolls out of the way of the moonsault and Jack is gripping his stomach. Vic uses the ropes to haul himself up! He takes Jack by the hair and pulls him up, tossing him in the corner! RUNNING EUROPEAN UPPERCUT TO JACK IN THE CORNER! Vic just lighting up Jack right now! He’s not THAT bad of a striker.
Drake King: Alright.
Jake Smith: I’m just sayin’.
Drake King: Say less.
Jake Smith: O.
Drake King: Vic grabs Jack and goes to Irish whip him across the ring! Jack plants his feet, reverses, and it’s Vic who’s sent into the corner that Jack was just in! Jack looking for Daylight Slaying Time once agai-
Jake Smith: VIC VENOM IS ABLE TO LIFT JACK UP AND TOSS HIM OUT OF THE RING!
Drake King: This guy is going up top now…
Jake Smith: :oh:
Drake King: OH.
Jake Smith: DOUBLE V FROM THE TOP ROPE TO RIPLEY! Vic rolls off of Jack and gets back up. He’s stomping away on Jack right now and Jack is in trouble. Vic grabs Jack up and whips him into the barricades! Vic follows it up with a running big boot! He grabs Ripley and drags him back tow-
(Vic actually drags Jack towards the broadcast booth. Both members of The Roundtable watch as Vic Venom slams Ripley’s face off the announce table.)
Drake King: ???
(Vic flips off Drake.)
Drake King: :skip:
Jake Smith: Vic throws Jack back into the ring and crawls over him for a cover!
Drake King: Kick out at one, though! I would have kicked out even quicker though.
Jake Smith: Vic grabs Jack and whips him into the ropes. Jack with a baseball slide between Vic’s legs to avoid a clothesline! Jack runs the ropes, and leapfrogs over Vic! Jack hits the ropes one more time but Vic gets the knee up and Jack goes somersaulting onto the mat! Vic with a quick cover but Jack kicks out before the referee can even get down and make a count! Vic snatches Jack up and hoists him in the air! Jack fights back down to his feet though! He hits Vic with a forearm and It’s Jack with a snap suplex to take Vic down!
Drake King: Jack quickly goes for a figure four leglock, but Vic boots him from behind. Jack hits the breaks and whirls around, right as Vic springs up! VIC LOOKING FOR THE LEGACY BUT JACK DUCKS! JACK WITH A DROPKICK THAT SENDS VIC INTO THE ROPES AND JACK ROLLS UP VIC!
Jake Smith: BUT VIC ROLLS THROUGH! BOTH MEN ARE BACK UP NOW AND THEY’RE LOCKING UP!
Drake King: Hang on. Why are we yelling? This isn’t that great. They’re not great.
Jake Smith: We took over commentary. We’re supposed to yell.
Drake King: O.
Jake Smith: VIC VENOM AND JACK RIPLEY ARE BOTH TRYING TO GAIN THE ADVANTAGE RIGHT NOW AND IT’S JACK WHO FENDS OFF VIC AND GRABS HIM BY THE WAIST! WAISTLOCK TAKEDOWN! JACK SWITCHES TO FRONT A FACELOCK, ROLLS VIC ON HIS BACK, AND IMMEDIATELY HOOKS THE LEG!
Drake King: BUT VIC QUICKLY KICKS OUT AND GRABS JACK, ROLLING HIM INTO HIS SHOULDERS!!!
Jake Smith: JACK FLIPS OVER AND IS BACK TO HIS FEET! BASEMENT STYLE DROPKICK TO VIC’S FACE! JACK WITH THE COVER!
Drake King: VIC KICKS OUT! JACK GRABS VIC UP AND BEGINS WORKING OVER THE SHOULDER!
Jake Smith: Alright it’s mat wrestling now. Lets calm down.
Drake King: Fair. Vic fights his way back up to his feet, but Jack maintains control and forces Vic back into the corner. Jack with a kick to the gut followed up by a huge chest chop! Jack backs up and looks for another running knee, but Vic moves, and Jack slams into the corner! He whirls around and Vic looks for a running clothesline! Jack is able to lift Vic up and dump him ov-
Jake Smith: No! Vic lands on the apron! He clubs Jack in the back of the head, leaps to the top rope, and catches Jack with a missile dropkick! Jack rolls to the opposite side of the ring and right onto the apron. Vic reaches through the ropes and grabs Jack! Jack with a stiff right hand to Vic though! It catches Vic in the jaw and forces him back! Jack pulls himself up! Vic lunges for Jack, but Jack dives through the ropes and catches Vic in the gut with his shoulder! Jack springs up on the ropes! Sunset flip into a pin!
Drake King: Vic powers out.
Jake Smith: Jack pulls Vic up and whips him into the ropes! YOU’LL FLO-
Drake King: Vic hooks his arms on the ropes! Jack sees that and rushes forward, but Vic gets his feet up! Vic springs up on the ropes! Springboard moonsault press!! Vic with the cover on Jack!
Jake Smith: Jack quickly gets his shoulder up!
Drake King: Vic grabs Jack and drags him to the ropes, draping him neck first across the middle rope. Vic drives his knee into Jack’s neck and he’s choking him. The referee jumps in there, and Vic does break, but he climbs to the apron and drags Jack out with him. He pulls Jack to his feet and attempts to hook Jack… but Jack nails Vic with a huge kick! Vic fires back with a kick of his own that catches Jack in the temple. Vic quickly hooks Jack by the neck and drops him on the hardest part of the ring with a DDT! Vic rolls Jack back into the ring!
Jake Smith: Cover by Vic!
Drake King: Another kick out by Jack!
Jake Smith: Vic wraps Jack in a headlock and cinches it in tightly. Jack tries to fight his way back up, but Vic forces him down to the mat! Jack rolls around, forcing Vic to lock his grip, and Jack attempts to get his hand up to try and break. He does force Vic back up, and Jack is able to get his knee up and drives Vic back in the corner! Vic keeps maintains control of the headlock though! Jack with another knee to the gut, and another! Jack with several knee strikes now, and Vic is finally forced to let go. Jack shoves Vic back in the corner, but Vic with a huge kick that catches Jack on the jaw and knocks him back! Vic scrambles to the top rope, but Jack immediately throws himself against the ropes and Vic is knocked down into a sitting position! Jack quickly scales the ropes, hooks Vic… SUPERPLEX!!!
Drake King: Jack with a cover!
Jake Smith: NO! VIC GOT THE SHOULDER UP!
Drake King : Ew.
Jake Smith: Too bad that didn’t kill them both.
Drake King: I know, right.
Jake Smith: Jack is up first and he pulls Vic up. Jack with a forearm, but Vic answers! Jack with a stiff right hand to the face! Vic fires back! Now they’re both exchanging punches! JACK! VIC! JACK! VIC! JACK WITH A KICK TO THE MID-SECTION AND HE WHIPS VIC INTO THE ROPES! JACK WITH A SHOULDER BLOCK TAKEDOWN BUT VIC IS RIGHT BACK UP! JACK WITH A DROPKICK! VIC GETS BACK UP AGAIN! JACK TAKES VIC DOWN WITH A DROP TOE HOLD AND IMMEDIATELY GOES FOR A MODIFIED CROSSFACE CHICKENWING! VIC IS ABLE TO REVERSE AND HE SOMEHOW GETS JACK INTO A PINNING POSITION!
Drake King: BUT JACK IS QUICKLY OUT OF THAT!
Jake Smith: They both returned to their fe- YOU’LL FLOAT TOO!
Drake King: VIC CAUGHT JACK BY THE FOOT! HE SPINS HIM AROUND AND LOOKS FOR THE LEGA- NO! JACK WITH A RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! JACK RUSHES THE ROPES AND COMES BACK AT VIC WITH A FLYING KNEE STRIKE! IT CONNECTS TO VIC’S FACE! JACK SNATCHES VIC UP WITH A WAISTLOCK! GERMAN SUPLEX WITH A BRIDGING PIN!!!!
Jake Smith: VIC STAYS ALIVE IN THE MATCH!
(The two members of the The Roundtable are caught looking at one another with thoughtful expressions on their faces.)
Drake King: Jack pulls Vic up by the neck and hooks him for a suplex! Vic is able to block, nail Jack in the gut, and throw him into the corner! Vic rushes forward but Jack springs out of the corner! YOU’LL FLOAT TOO! HE CON- NO HE DOESN’T! VIC DODGED ANOTHER YOU’LL FLOAT TOO SUPERKICK AND HE GRABS JACK FROM BEHIND!
Jake Smith: BUT WAIT!
Drake King: JACK ROLLS THROUGH AND IS UP! JACK CATCHES VIC WITH AN ARM DRAG AND THROWS HIM INTO THE CORNER! RUNNING DOUBLE KNEES TO THE FACE! JACK CONNECTS AND HE GRABS VIC AND PULLS HIM AWAY FROM THE ROPES FOR A PIN!
Jake Smith: VIC KICKS OUT!
Drake King: Darnit. Stay down Vic.
Jake Smith: Both men are back on their feet now but Vic looks a little worse for wear. Jack peppers Vic with a series of forearms! Vic fights back and manages to grab Jack! But Jack slips free and HE GETS VIC WITH THE RIPPLE EFFECT! JACK WITH THE RIPPLE EFFECT!
Drake King: :oh:
Jake Smith: Oh man. Jack is going to the top rope now! NO!
Drake King: BELIEVE IT OR NOT…NO! KNEES UP! VIC GETS HIS KNEES UP AS JACK BOUNCES OFF HIS KNEES! Vic, that ugly little man, rolls over…he’s getting to his feet. Venom is…lowering his body, he’s in position! He’s going for that LEGACY KICK! Jack is getting up…THE LEGACY CONNECTS! VIC CRACKS JACK AND IS GOING TO PIN THE NATIONAL ELITE CHAMPION!
Jake Smith: …bu-…no!
(Jake Smith sprints in, dragging the referee out of the ring as fans begin booing like crazy. Vic still has Jack covered for the pin as he remains out cold in the ring! Vic and the crowd see Jake throws the referee into the barricade as Venom slaps the mat with frustration. Vic slides out of the ring and confronts Jake.)
Stew-O: Looks like we will be taking over as Jake Smith has assaulted the referee! Vic is confronting him, they are face to face! Vic is livid, he had the National Elite champion pinned and defeated…
Flannery McCoy: Vic shoves Jake! Jake falls right down to the floor as…wait…WAIT! Drake King is behind Vic Venom! CHAIR SHOT TO THE BACK OF THE SKULL! Drake CRACKS VIC VENOM WITH A STEEL CHAIR! My god the thud Vic’s head makes when that chair meets it is SICKENING! Looks like Jake couldn’t stand Vic pinning the National Elite champion!
Jake Mercer: Yeah, and Drake saw Vic about to kill Jake and he’s hit Vic in the head with that steel chair! Jack Ripley is in the ring, on his stomach as he’s starting to come to! Jake looks as sees this as Drake nods and tosses him the steel chair! Jake smiles sadistically, as he slides into the ring and gets up while clutching that chair. Jack is holding his jaw, nearly losing it after that vicious kick! Ripley is on his knee, starting to come to as Jake stands behind him, chair raised above his head!
Jake Smith: KNEEL!
Stew-O: MY GOD! JACK RIPLEY’S HEAD IS STRUCK BY THAT CHAIR WIELDED BY JAKE SMITH! JAKE HAS THE NATIONAL ELITE CHAMPION OUT COLD! DRAKE HAS VIC VENOM AT RINGSIDE OUT COLD! THE ROUND TABLE HAVE BOTH OF THEIR OPERATION: DOOMSDAY OPPONENTS OUT COLD AS DRAKE AND JAKE STAND TALL! The Round Table walk around the ring, and began to walk up the ramp!
???:WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!!!!
Stew-O: STARRSTAN! STARRSTAN IS ON THE STAGE AND HE IS FURIOUS!
StarrStan: JAKE! DRAKE! You two are getting on my last nerve! This is the fourth week I’ve seen Drake attack somebody and Jake, I am utterly disappointed in your lack of sportsmanship here tonight! Vic and Jack were shaping up for a classic match up and you, Jake…simply couldn’t stand seeing someone else pinning the champion before your match so you ruined this match up by attacking one of MY refs? You, DRAKE! You took out Cage last week and attacked Vic Venom for the second week in a row despite him never doing anything to you? This is how The Round Table behaves? Fine…Jake! I can’t take your title shot away from you just yet and I know Jack Ripley will want nothing more than to destroy you so you will still be facing him at Operation: Doomsday. BUT…you will be facing Vic Venom next week in the main event of Dynasty!
Stew-O: WOAH! Vic Venom had this match won but thanks to Jake, his chance at beating the National Elite champion was ruined! Next week, Vic can get his revenge on Jake!
StarrStan: As for you, Drake! You attacked Vic with that chair and since SOSA Henderson and Cage are no longer on the active roster…YOU TWO WILL BE FACING EACH OTHER AT OPERATION: DOOMSDAY IN A STREET FIGHT! Since you like using chairs so much…how about we see how badly Vic wants to use a chair on you?
Flannery McCoy: The Round Table look upset and are fuming! WAIT! VIC! JACK! BOTH MEN ARE UP! Jake and Drake are arguing with StarrStan on the ramp! Jack has the chair Jake left in the ring! Vic has a chair of his own! Both men are battered and limping but they are headed towards Jake and Drake!
Stew-O: MY GOODNESS! CHAIR SHOTS! VIC AND JACK ARE GETTING REVENGE! DRAKE GETS A CHAIR TO THE BACK AND SO DOES JAKE! VIC AND JACK ARE SWINGING THOSE CHAIRS WILDLY AS DRAKE AND JAKE ARE RUNNING AWAY! JAKE HOPS THE BARRICADE AND IS FOLLOWED BY KING! VIC AND JACK HOLD THEIR CHAIRS IN HAND, THEY HAD THEIR MATCH RUINED TONIGHT BUT THEY CLEARLY WANT A PIECE OF JAKE AND DRAKE MORE THAN EVER BEFORE AFTER THAT COWARDLY ASSAULT!
(Vic is breathing heavily and Jack is holding his chair, leaning on the barricade as Drake and Jake hightail it through the crowd and away from their rivals. We cutaway from this as we are shown a cue card that reads “LIVE FROM THE POON PALACE” as we are shown the wonderful establishment TLA runs. We see beautiful ladies in cages grinding on the bars and Steroid Dawg laying up on a giant dog pillow.)
Steroid Dawg: bark, bark!
(We see TLA walking by as he approaches his Michelle McGillislutty in a full body cast, laid up, on a hospital bed that was brought in for her comfort as she nurses herself back to full whore health.)
TLA: I am distraught. Got me fucked up out here. My slutty, slut. High priced poon, Michelle. How dare he. Fucking edgelord cac. Big dity, wannabe Kurt Cobain. Him and his shovel. Out here digging holes. Shia Lebeouf called. He’s the only one with the HOLES round here. Fuck is up. You doin’ ok, Michelle?
(Michelle murmurs through her cast as TLA listens and nods his head.)
TLA: I know right? Fucking frugal motherfucker. I offer to bury the hatchet with Darkane. Put the insults behind us. Bygones be bygones. Dios mios! I offer him prime poon. I offer him prime GOTH poon. At Discount. Fucking hemoragging money, bad business tactics. Instead, he assaults you. Poor Michelle. Damn shame. You will get better, don’t worry. As for DarkerCane…he takes out SOSA Henderson. Swinging the shovel like a towel except it ain’t no towel. Towel would be soft, safer. He would have hit SOSA with a towel and SOSA would be still down to wrestle. Still fighting at Operation: Doomsday. Instead he ain’t home, watching soap operas. On the couch. Texting Serena Bennett for some milk or some shit. God damn. He done done it, I tell you. He tried me. Called me a joke. Called La Pantera Sexual MEX-crement. Fucking Trump supporter. They emboldened out here. I’m voting Bernie. That is if I can vote. Anyway…Michelle…he attacked you. Hurt my heart to see that. Fucked up, man. I won’t take that lying down. I beat Darkane ass in to the crowd last week. Very fire display from La Pantera Sexual. Almost knocked a little girl out to get to him. Lucky for little Susan I held back. But at Operation: Doomsday, I won’t hold back. Everybody in my way getting tagged and Darkane getting tagged like graffiti on an alley wall.
Steroid Dawg: bark, bark!
TLA: That’s right, Steroid Dawg. Serious repercussions are waiting for Darkane at Operation: Doomsday! He likes swinging shovels, I’m going to be swinging him by that stinky hair. He smells like a wet dog and looks like a dried turd. Heroin addict has some nerve, disrespect me. Disrespect my people. Attacking my poon like they ain’t got rights. Sex workers got rights, man. But all will be ok, Michelle. I will avenge you. Darkane loves shovels and I’m going to shovel my foot right up his pimpled ass when I get my hands on him.
Steroid Dawg: bark!
TLA: Of course you can come! We doing this not just for honor. Not just to beat up this Beetlejuice looking burn out. We do it for Michelle and all the currently employed Poon Palace women out there. Nobody puts baby in a corner and nobody fucks with TLA!
(TLA gives Michelle a kiss on her bandaged hand as he walks away and the scene fades back to the Barclays Center.)
Stephie Love: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED ONE FALL!!!
( “La Marmelade de Ma Grand Mère” by Florent Caubien starts up.)
Stephie Love: Introducing first, from Triffouillis-les-Oies, France, weighing in at 204 pounds, THE BUTER KNIFE… PPPPPPPRRRRRRROOOOOOVVVVEEEEEENNNNNNNNCCCCCAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!
( Provençal steps out past the curtain to cheers.)
Stew-O: Well here we are folks, this match between two crowd favorites has been dubbed winner takes all, and you can bet each is gonna give everything they got in this one!
Jake Mercer: remind me again what they’re taking? Dinner with a Vice President right?
Flannery McCoy: it’s winner takes all Jake Mercer, you saw the card for tonight.
Jake Mercer: ummm…. yes? Look what I did or didn’t do isn’t important, what is important is Provençal entering the ring!
( Provençal waits in his corner as his music fades. A moment goes by before “Here comes the boom” by DMX ft. Sean Paul and Alex Vegas blasts through the arena.)
Stephie Love: and his opponent, from San Jose, California, Weighing In at 160 pounds… EEEELLLLLL LLLLLLLLAAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDEEEERRRRRRSSSDDOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!!
( the crowd cheers as Landerson steps out onto the stage.)
Stew-O: this crowd cheering on Landerson tonight, and you can tell he is feeding off the energy from these people!
Jake Mercer: and man does he look focused tonight just from the body language I’m reading!
Flannery McCoy: well the opportunity means everything to both Landerson and Provençal, both men are competitors at heart, so expect them to fight with everything they’ve got tonight!
( Landerson steps into the ring. His music fades and the referee calls for the bell.)
DING DING DING!
Stew-O: Here we go this contest underway! Both men staring the other down in the middle of the ring. A bit of tension as to who’s gonna make the first move? Landerson offering a hand… and Provençal with a side five as a sign of respect. Each man takes a step back, and now try to circle around and get an angle to attack. Provençal shoots for the collar and elbow tie up, Landerson slipping behind and gets a waist lock! Provençal teaching behind and gets the snapmare takeover, immediately transitions to a rear chin lock, Landerson trying to fight back to his feet, Provençal wisely putting all his weight on Landerson, making him carry Provençal a d expend extra energy as he gets back up! Landerson back up now, trying to break the grip
And get free of that chinlock, Landerson able to free himself and gets an arm wringer! Provençal quickly reversing and gets a top wristlock, and Provençal sweeping the leg out from under Landerson who again is back down on the canvas!
Jake Mercer: you can sense a strategy here by Provençal to ground the high flyer and take away the majority if not the entirety of Landerson’s offense!
Flannery McCoy: look here, Landerson nipping up to his feet, Provençal still has that wristlock, grabbing a hold of the top rope, AND FLIPPING OUT OF THAT LOCK! Landerson gets another arm wringer, now with an Irish whip, Provençal off the rebound, and Landerson gets an arm drag! Now Landerson working the ground game as he has a modified armbar, Provençal getting back to his feet, and forcing El Landerson off the ropes, Provençal looking for a backbreaker… But Landerson counters with the tilt a whirl headscissors!
Stew-O: Provençal left draped over the middle rope from that one, Landerson sprints at him… TTTTIIIIIGGGGEEERRRRRFFFFAAAAIIIINNNNNTTTTT KKKKKKIIIIICCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!! MISSES AS PROVENÇAL MOVING OUT OF THE WAY AT THE LAST SECOND!! LE PETIT PAQUET! Small package has Landerson’s shoulders on the mat!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE! TTTTTWWWWWOOOOO!!
Jake Mercer: Landerson kicking out of that one! You have to give credit for how well Provençal had that one scouted and even playing a bit of possum! Both men back up, Landerson rushes at his opponent, Provençal counters with a drop toe hold, LOOKING FOR THE PARADISE LOCK! But Landerson able to slip out and slide between the legs of Provençal, Landerson back up, but Provençal catches him with an inverted atomic drop! That is gonna hurt!
Flannery McCoy: no joking there Jake Mercer! Landerson doubled over in pain, Provençal staying on him as he lands an overhead Chop and that one two combo sends Landerson to the mat! Provençal with another cover!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TWWWWOOOO!!!
Stew-O: Landerson again getting the shoulder up! Provençal grabbing a waist lock and drags El Landerson up off the mat, Landerson fighting back with several back elbows, but Provençal still has that grip locked in! Landerson dying towards the corner, Provençal forced to follow along, Landerson scurrying up the turnbuckles, and comes crashing down with the reverse cross body!
Jake Mercer: Provençal back up to his knees, Landerson waiting for him and WOAH WHAT A HEADSCISSORS REVERSE DDT! Provençal’s Head driven into the canvas from that one, and now Landerson with a cover!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTTTTWWWWWWOOOOO! KICKOUT!!
Flannery McCoy: Landerson stepping to the outside as Provençal slowly gets his legs under him, Landerson hops up to the top rope… Springboard face Buster!!! Provençal down, but Landerson not done yet as he begins to climb up the turnbuckles, Provençal down on the mat, Landerson off the top… SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT!!! What a move by the ultimate underdog!
Crowd: LAN-DER-SON! LAN-DER-SON!
Stew-O: Landerson not going for a pin here, instead trying to wear Provençal down a bit more before trying to end this one! Landerson picking him up by the head and shoots Provençal off the ropes, Provençal reverses, Landerson of the rebound, LOU TH-BON APPETIT!!! What an incredible counter that damn near took Landerson’s Head clean off!! Landerson down on the mat, but not for long as Provençal drags him up off the canvas, and slams him down hard with a back Suplex!
Jake Mercer: Provençal now hopping up to the middle rope, And connects with the Swanton bomb! Provençal in control and You have got to like the aggression and way he is keeping on the attack as he’s now got a hold of Landerson’s legs! Provençal trying to turn him over… BOSTON CRAB! NO LANDERSON ABLE TO SHOVE PROVENÇAL OFF BEFORE HE COULD APPLY THAT HOLD!
Flannery McCoy: Landerson deceptively strong for someone his size, and when you combine that with his speed he can be a tough match up provided he’s motivated which he seems like he is tonight! Landerson back up to his feet, Provençal greeting him with a knife edge chop! Landerson replies with one of his own! Provençal with another chop that echoes throughout the arena! Landerson not to be out done fires back with another of his own! These two continuing to trade chops with neither man backing down! Provençal! Landerson! Now Provençal! Now Landerson! These two men standing with their chests beet red from all these chops! Landerson with another, and another, and yet another that seems to have Provençal backing down! Labderson leaping up onto Provençal’s shoulders, HURRICANRANA!!!
Jake Mercer: No look Provençal blocking it! Landerson hanging upside down still trying to take him over, but Provençal threading his arm through the legs, now threading the other, Landerson trapped in a Boston crab!!! Landerson screams in pain as Provençal sits that submission in deep right in the center of the ring! The referee asking if Landerson wants to give up… BUT LANDERSON SHAKING HIS HEAD NO! Landerson in agony as he drags himself along with all 200 pounds of Provençal across the ring to try and get to the ropes! Landerson inching his way, how long can he hold out?! Landerson’s reaching out for that bottom rope… BUT PROVENÇAL DRAGS HIM BACK TO THE CENTER OF THE SQUARED CIRCLE!!
Flannery McCoy: Landerson May not have any other choice but to give up! Landerson raises his hand… But he doesn’t tap! Instead he reaches back and grabs Provençal by the ankle, and Landerson tripping him up freeing himself from the submission! Both men getting to their feet, Landerson a bit slower, you have to think that the Boston crab took a lot out of him given how long he was In That hold! Provençal lands a boot to the midsection, Landerson doubled over, Provençal looking for the double underhook Suplex! Provençal gets him up in the air, but Landerson using the momentum to swing himself over Provençal’s shoulders, and lands on his feet behind him! Provençal turning around, but Landerson’s already gone and bouncing back off the ropes! LOU THESZ PRESS!!!! Provençal trying to cover up as Landerson lands lefts and rights to the head!
Stew-O: The referee forcing Landerson off, Provençal back up, but Landerson waiting for him and whips him into the corner! Landerson flowing him in… STINGER SPLASH!!! Provençal squashed by that one! Provençal stumbling out of the corner, Landerson running off the ropes… DIVING BULLDOG!!! Provençal driven face first into the mat, and now Landerson’s feeling as confident as ever as he steps out to the apron and climbs the turnbuckles! Landerson perched on the top-HEY! Provençal back up and lands a right hand that stuns Landerson! Provençal now climbing the ropes, he hooks Landerson by the arms! DOUBLE UNDERHOOK SUPERPLEX!!! Provençal draping his arm over the chest of Landerson, this is it!!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!! TTTTTWWWWWWOOOOOOOO!!! TTTTTTHHHHHHRRRRREEEEEE!!!!
Jake Mercer: AGAIN LANDERSON GETS HIS SHOULDER UP!! With all the damage to his back, I have no idea how he kicked out! I gotta think that was more a case of Pure instinct than anything else, and if Provençal would have gotten the leg hooked or some more weight on that cover this would have been over! Provençal picking Landerson up by the head, you gotta sense he wants to put this one away, he wants to win this match not just for him but for the two dozen bambinos he’s got at home!
Flannery McCoy: You do know bambino is an Italian word and Provençal is French?
Jake Mercer: like I said before, it doesn’t matter what I know or Don’t, because Provençal has Landerson set up… BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBYYYYYY TTTTTTRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!!!!
Flannery McCoy: BUT LANDERSON BLOCKS IT! Landerson wisely wrapping his leg around Provençal’s to keep from being lifted off the ground! Provençal with a forearm to the back, and after all the damage he’s suffered that forearm was was in the perfect spot to drop Landerson to his knees! Provençal getting that arm trap again, but Landerson dropping to the mat and sliding back between Provençal legs which sends the Frenchman flipping inside out and down to the canvas and breaking the hold! Provençal back up quickly, Landerson right behind him and lands a drop kick to the back! Provençal again hung up on the middle rope, Landerson calling for it, Landerson sprints… TTTTTIIIIIGGGGGGEEEERRRRRRR FFFFFFAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNTTTTTTT KKKKKKKKIIIIIICCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!! THE 619 CONNECTS RIGHT TO THE FACE OF PROVENÇAL!!! LANDERSON WITH THE SPRINGBOARD SPLASH AND THE COVER!!!!
Ref: OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!!! TTTTTTWWWWWOOOOO!!!!! NO!!!
Flannery McCoy: PROVENCAL KICKS OUT AND ROLLS OVER LANDERSON! COVER!!
Ref: OOOOOONNNNNNNEEE!!! TWWWWWOOOO!!!! NO!!!!
Stew-O: Landerson kicks out! Provencal and Landerson get to their feet, Landerson charges…Provencal kicks him in the gut…SUNSET FLIP! LANDERSON IS ON HIS BACK!
Ref: OOOOONNNNEEEE!!!! TWWWWWWWOOOO!!!!! THREEEEEEE!!!!!!
DING DING DING!!
( “La Marmelade de Ma Grand Mère” by Florent Caubien starts up as the crowd cheers.)
Stephie Love: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN HERE IS YOUR WINNER…. PRRROOOOOOOVEEEEEENNNNCAAAAALLLLL!!!!!
Stew-O: What a display from both men tonight, very much a different side than we typically see from both and boy did it make for a hot contest here tonight!
Jake Mercer: yes it did as much as I’m surprised to say it, but look here, Provençal approaching Landerson, what’s he gonna do here?!
(Provençal offers his hand and Landerson shakes it in turn. The crowd is going nuts.)
Flannery McCoy: great sportsmanship here tonight, these guys gave it everything they had, and in the end Provencal will be walking away with an opportunity that he’s been wanting for a long time now!
(Provencal smirks as Landerson pats on the shoulder. Landerson grabs the microphone handed to him by Stephie Love and walks over to Provencal.)
Landerson: Congratulations Provencal! You winner and take all. I don’t know what the opportunity is that you get but you win. I am proud of you. Big win, very big one. I brought the boom and you came with your own boom respect.
(Landerson hands Provencal the microphone as Landerson leaves the ring and heads up the ramp. Provencal smiles as the fans cheer.)
Provencal: Thank you…now, maybe StarrStanley allow himself to the ring and explain what “all” the winner gets, now? I hope my kids are watching because
Stew-O: WAIT! LOOK! HOPPING THE BARRICADE! ERIC HAVOC AND TARA CELECI! THEY ARE IN THE BUILDING! PROVENCAL, BEHIND YOU!
Flannery McCoy: My goodness! Eric Havoc and his girlfriend have snuck into the building and tearing into Provencal! Eric is putting the boots to poor Provy as his girlfriend grabs the microphone.
Tara Celeci: WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED! STARRSTAN SAYS WINNER TAKES ALL? WELL, WINNER TAKES ALL THE BEATINGS TONIGHT!
StarrStan: God damn it, God damn it! Stop this!
(StarrStan stomps on stage but continues on to the ramp.)
StarrStan: You are out of your mind, clearly! Like, something is wrong with you, Eric! What have I done or any of these wrestlers done to you? Provencal and Landerson just had a beautiful match where Provencal wins and you “sneak” in to a show you weren’t suspended from and attack him? What do I have to do to make you stop this?
Tara Celeci: Give Eric Havoc a title shot!
StarrStan: Hell no.
Tara Celeci: Fire Provencal and Archimedes J. Manson now!
StarrStan: I will not!
Tara Celeci: Give Eric that opportunity you were going to give Provencal!
StarrStan: What? No! You want what Provencal was going to get? You gotta earn it!
Tara Celeci: Fine! You dictator, give Eric a chance to earn that opportunity! Give him a shot to get what Provencal was going to get! That’s not fair he and Landerson get special opportunities but my boyfriend doesn’t!
StarrStan: FINE! Next week, Eric Havoc will face Provencal one on one and the winner of that gets the opportunity that Provencal rightfully won here tonight! Havoc vs Provencal, Winner takes all part 2!
Eric Havoc off microphone: THAT’S MORE LIKE IT…OH YEAH…one more for the road…
Stew-O: Oh god, Havoc is picking Provencal up…THE DESECRATION!!! PEDIGREE BY ERIC TO PROVENCAL WHO IS DEFENSELESS TO THE MOVE!
Flannery McCoy: This was Provencal’s big, big night! This poor man beat Landerson in a hell of a match where he outsmarted him using that sunset flip only to get attacked by Eric who claimed was suspended by StarrStan.
Jake Mercer: Next week, I hope Eric is ready. Provencal isn’t the most vicious but he will be ready for a chance to re-win that opportunity that he won tonight!
(We fade from Eric Havoc’s evil face to an ad for Taco Bell’s new treat, The fried Chili Ice cream bar.)
(The camera cuts to Stephie Love in the ring. She looks beautiful in her puffy pink dress with blue frills. She is displaying just enough cleavage to make the men in the audience lose their shit but not too much to appear slutty. Her massive hoop earrings perfectly compliment her long flowing locks as they sway in the breeze of the chill air conditioned Barclays Center.)
Stephie Love: Ahem… The following contest is scheduled for…
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
Stephie Love: That’s right baby.
(“Surfin’ (ft. Pharrell Williams)” by Kid Cudi hits to cheers from the crowd.)
Stephie Love: Introducing first from Compton, California weighing in at 114 pounds… please show some love to my KWEEN SERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRENA BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Serena Bennett enters onto the stage beaming wide across her face. Serena shows off all her bling which glimmers in the brightness of the arena lights. Serena spins around showing off all her best assets before she slides to the top of the stage and strikes a pose. Serena then begins to skip down the ramp slapping hands with each fan and sliding into the ring before posing on each turnbuckle. The fans are shown jumping up and down in excitement as Serena points to them each in turn acknowledging them.)
Flannery McCoy: I stan a KWEEN! Serena is so stunning, powerful, and brave! These fans here in Brooklyn have fallen in love with this majestic woman! I am so proud to have a female member of the roster main eventing here tonight on Dynasty. Look how far we have come! I feel like I am finally watching someone in the ring who is just like me do great things in that ring!
Jake Mercer: Oh god here we go. Look sweetcheeks. You sure have come a long way. All the way from the kitchen to the wrestling ring. What an incredible journey! I am getting so sick of all this feminazi garbage being spewed all over EAW each and every week. It was better when we were segregated and whores like Kassidy Heart and Serena Bennett were kept out of sight out of mind over on Empire.
Stew-O: Come on Jake. Serena is such a great wrestler! She put Kassidy Heart through a table last week during their contract signing! She made things personal! You have to be excited for their match at Operation: Doomsday!
Jake Mercer: :usure:
Flannery McCoy: :imsure:
(“Can I Live” by Jay-Z hits to intense boos from the audience.)
Stephie Love: And her opponent from Seattle, Washington weighing in at 240 pounds he is the “Most Watched Champion in History” give it for IMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPACT!!!
(Impact appears on stage with the World Heavyweight Championship hiding his gut as he stands on the stage taking in the hate from the audience. Impact smirks down at all over them as he holds up nine fingers to remind the world of how many reigns he has. Impact is shown wearing black face paint that makes him look truly evil. He looks into the ring upon Serena Bennett like a piece of meat he is about to enjoy to the fullest.)
Flannery McCoy: Ugh. Nine reigns is nine too many! Impact needs to hit the gym, lose some weight, and wash that crap off his face. He could actually be an attractive man if he put in a little extra effort. I can’t deny his success but I am getting bored of him constantly being champion. We need some fresh blood in EAW! It’s time for a new era of new stars! Get these oldheads outta here! You know what we don’t need? More blonde haired, blue eyed, privileged white males as the face of our brand! Not that Lethal Consequences is much better. We need a whole lot more ovaries in the main event scene around here!
Jake Mercer: Your racism is literally sickening to me Flannery. You don’t respect the hard work that men like Impact and Lethal Consequences have done to build this company. What the hell have women ever done? All I see them doing is competing like skanks in Barbed Wire Bra and Panties Matches. And this is in 2019! These women like to talk about how they are leading some sort of revolution but they are just as slutty and trampy as they ever have been. Nobody wants to watch that shit. I would go on Pornhub if I wanted to see a Serena Bennett match and honestly those bitches would probably be ten times hotter than she is. Impact and Lethal Consequences is going to be a phenomenal old school match. Really show the true EAW values that built this company.
Stew-O: Is it wrong that I think they both will be good matches? I don’t know about all that “EAW values” nonsense but Impact is sure to show his great talent up against another legend of this business in Lethal Consequences. Yet at the same time I’m also excited for Serena Bennett to take on Kassidy Heart in what should be a great match showing what EAW’s great female talent is capable of. Tonight we get a taste of the best of both worlds as one of Dynasty’s best male wrestlers takes on one of the best of Dynasty’s female wrestlers. But ignoring the gender nonsense this is just two great wrestlers taking each other on in a match that could main event anywhere and any show in the country!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Flannery McCoy: The match begins as Impact is shown sneering and laughing at Serena Bennett.
Impact: You gonna step to me little girl? Huh? Why don’t you walk out of this ring like now and let the men do the fighting! Go and make me a nice and tasty san-
Stew-O: And Serena Bennett just slapped the sandwich out of Impact’s mouth! Impact stunned as Serena capitalizes by charging in and taking him over the top rope to the outside of the ring. Impact crashes and burns on the outside landing on his back as he uses the apron to pull himself up. LOOK OUT SERENA BENNETT WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE UNDER THE ROPES SENDS IMPACT BACK CRASHING UP AGAINST THE COMMENTARY TABLE!
Jake Mercer: I can’t believe the audacity of Serena Bennett treating our World Champion like this! She isn’t even a joshi!
Flannery McCoy: This beautiful woman Serena Bennett now chopping hard into the chest of Impact sending him up on top of the Spanish announce table. Another hard chop as Impact nearly falls back over the table onto the Spanish announcers.
Comentarista Español: ¡Ay Dios mío! ¡No otra vez por favor! ¡El gringo pesa más que mi esposa!
Stew-O: But Serena Bennett straddles Impact onto the announce table!
Jake Mercer: Oh hell yeah! Bring them over here I want that kind of view!
Flannery McCoy: …
Stew-O: Serena Bennett hooks the arm of Impact as she straddled him on top of the announce table… AND SHE ROLLS BACKWARD!!!! Serena using the angle to throw Impact over top of her with that roll. MODIFIED SUPLEX OFF THE ANNOUNCE TABLE CONNECTS!!!
Flannery McCoy: What a devastating angle there with that Suplex from Serena Bennett!!! The announce table isn’t that high up but that had to hurt nonetheless! This is why we need more women in the main event scene! How innovative! Manspreading assholes like Impact need to move aside and let my queens have a seat!
Jake Mercer: How about they take it? Oh look Serena can’t even lift Impact up to get him back in the ring to make the pinfall! So sad! This is why in Japan they have separate promotions for men and women. It’s just not realistic for someone like Serena Bennett to match the raw strength of someone like Impact.
Stew-O: Wait! Serena is actually getting Impact up! That’s impressive strength!
(A replay shows Serena’s fingernails cracking as they dig into the flab of Impact’s gut but manage to lift him up onto the apron and shoved him into the ring.)
Jake Mercer: HAHAHA!! SERENA TRIED TO GET BACK INTO THE RING BUT IMPACT KICKED THE ROPES! SHE TRIPPED INSIDE THE RING! IMPACT CATCHES HER AND PULLS HER OVER INTO A SMALL PACKAGE!!!
Referee: ONEEEE!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Flannery McCoy: Kick Out by Serena Bennett! I’m not at all surprised you’re excited by a Small Package Jake. I’m sure you appreciate seeing some representation in the Dynasty main event as well.
Jake Mercer: There’s no problem. I can assure you of that. Wanna check sweet thang?
Stew-O: Impact immediately takes down Serena Bennett with a Dropkick! Serena backup but Impact with a hard forearm catches her right between the eyes taking her down to the mat. Serena holding her face crawls back up into a corner but Imp whips her across the ring. Imp charges in… Enzuigiri in the corner! Serena collapses forward but Impact catches her in his arms! What a gentleman!
Flannery McCoy: NOT FOR LONG! IMPACT MOVES BEHIND SERENA AND HOOKS THE ARMS! THE HAIL MARY CONNECTS!! THE COVER! NO! OMG!
Referee: ONE!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!! THREEE!!!!!
Jake Mercer: Kick Out by Serena Bennett! She should have stayed down! What a stupid b-
Stew-O: She sure has a lot of fight in her! Impact thought he might have won it and while he didn’t do that Serena’s face has to be killing her!
Jake Mercer: I know right! Impact really messed up her makeup. Awww poor thing! I don’t know how she will get over it!
Stew-O: Well she’s going to have to get over it quick because Impact is going in to deliver more pain! Impact stomps on the back of Serena using his boot to keep her grounded. She can’t even get up. Impact drops a hard shoulder right into the lower back of Serena for good measure. Impact wipes the blood away from his sides where Serena’s nails broke off into him earlier. He wipes the blood on Serena’s back and then locks her into a Sleeper Hold. Serena’s face obscured by Impact’s arms as he begins to strangle the life out of her. Legally of course.
Jake Mercer: Thank god he covered her face! Nobody wanted to see that part of her!
Flannery McCoy: But everyone wants to see Serena break out of this hold! The crowd is chanting her name!
Crowd: SERENA! SERENA! SERENA!
Stew-O: Serena Bennett is fighting her way back to her feet! She is feeding off the energy of this crowd to get back up to her feet! But Impact hanging on with the Sleeper Hold! Serena stumbles back! She is fading from this submission maneuver! She trips and falls back into the corner! But the impact causes Impact to release the hold! Serena immediately begins to fire back with a series of hard right forearms into the face of Impact. Impact battered back into the ring. Serena keeps going in! Impact taken down with a shot right to the nose!!! Serena continues bashing his skull in with her arm! Impact may have a broken nose here as some blood begins to pool on his face!! Serena goes for the cover!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THR-
Jake Mercer: KICKOUT! IMPACT WILL KICK OUT NINE TIMES IF NECESSARY! Serena Bennett immediately grabs the leg of Impact as she begins to twist and contort it. Impact screams out in pain as Serena continues to twist. You know I got a titty twister once and it was pretty painful but I imagine this comes close to that.
Flannery McCoy: Serena licking her chops now as she drags Impact further back into the ring demanding that he tap out! Impact trying to use his size difference to his advantage crawling across the ring using all of his strength. Impact with a smile on his face as he reaches out and grabs the ropes! But Serena is in no rush to break the hold!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! BREAK IT UP! I WILL BEAT YOU LIKE MY WIFE BITCH! BREAK THE HOLD!
Stew-O: Serena Bennett breaks the hold as she gets up in the referee’s face. The referee falls over and cowers in fear in the corner. NO!
Jake Mercer: HAHAHA TOOK HER EYE OFF THE BALL! IMPACT WITH A ROLLUP FROM BEHIND!
Referee with a quick count for revenge: ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
Stew-O: NO! SERENA SOMEHOW KICKED OUT! EVEN WITH THE REFEREE COUNTING FAST ON HER! WE HAVE A BIASED OFFICIAL OUT HERE FOLKS!!
Flannery McCoy: Now Impact is yelling at the referee that he needs to count faster. It looks like Impact is the one pissing off the referee now. I guess that if the referee hates both wrestlers that makes them technically unbiased?
Jake Mercer: The battle of the sexes is going on here tonight in full force! It’s only right that the referee should favor a man as incredible as Impact! Nine reigns! Nine millisecond counts! That’s the rule!
Stew-O: That is not the rule. Both competitors back up now as Impact rushes in at Serena like a madman flailing his arms wildly! Serena ducks under the ropes as the referee is forced to demand Impact back off.
Jake Mercer: The ultimate betrayal. This referee is trash.
Flannery McCoy: Impact raises his fist but the referee threatens to disqualify him! He better be careful! This is a non-title match so I doubt Impact really cares that much about disqualification. He lowers his fist however so maybe Impact actually does want to win here tonight.
Stew-O: But Serena Bennett shoves the referee out of the way and grabs Impact by the hair… And she bashes him face first into the turnbuckle pad! And again! And again! Serena bashing Impact face first repeatedly as his already bloody nose is only going to get worse and worse!
(The camera zooms in on a bloodstain on the turnbuckle causing EAW to lose numerous sponsors.)
Jake Mercer: BUT IMPACT KICKS THE LEGS OUT FROM UNDER SERENA BENNETT! NO! SHE STAYS ON HER FEET AS IMPACT JUMPS OUT OF THE CORNER INTO THE RING! SERENA RUNS OFF THE ROPES… DROP TOE HOLD BY IMPACT!! IMPACT TWISTS AROUND WITH EASE ATOP THE BACK OF SERENA SLIDING ON THE BLOOD THAT HE WIPED ON HER EARLIER TO REACH HER LEGS WITH HIS ARMS! HE PULLS HER UP… OH SHIT IT’S OVER!!
Flannery McCoy: WALLS OF IMPACT HAS BEEN LOCKED IN! NO SERENA! DON’T TAP OUT! YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN! YOU CAN SURVIVE THIS JUST LIKE YOU HAVE SURVIVED ALL YOUR LIFE!!!
Stew-O: Serena Bennett screaming and crying now as she is trapped in the middle of the ring in one of the most devastating submission holds in EAW history! For Serena the struggle is real as she digs what is left of her fingernails into her face screeching with rage at having gotten herself in this situation and fear that she may not be able to get herself out. She tries to power out but Impact just smiles and keeps the hold locked in. Serena is going to have to reach the ropes! Or tap out! Those are her only options!
Jake Mercer: I mean she could have just skipped the match entirely too. Like I knew this was going to happen all along. She should have never even stepped out of the kitchen and into the ring tonight!
Flannery McCoy: She’s not giving up! The resilience! The bravery! Serena Bennett struggling with all she has to make it to that bottom rope! She is making progress! I believe in Serena! She pushes forward! Closer and closer! Impact is shook! Serena reaches out…
Stew-O: SHE GETS HER HAND ON THE ROPES!!! IMPACT FORCED TO BREAK THE HOLD!
Jake Mercer: The referee unjustly forces Impact to break the hold for no reason and allows Serena Bennett to get back up to her feet and continue the match. Wow. Just wow.
Flannery McCoy: Serena kicks into the thigh of Impact hard. But it has no effect! Impact charges in with a Shoulder Thrust sending Serena flying and crashing into the corner her head hitting the back of the turnbuckle padding. Impact runs… SOMERSAULT SENTON INTO THE CORNER! NO!
Stew-O: Serena moved out of the way! Impact crashes and burns but manages to pull himself up… ONLY TO BE HIT WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK BY SERENA BENNETT!!! RIGHT TO THE NOSE OF IMPACT! BLOOD GOES FLYING SPLATTERING ACROSS THE FACE OF THE REFEREE AS SERENA DROPS TO THE COVER!!!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Flannery McCoy: NO! Somehow Impact kicked out! Serena now making her way up to the top rope as she realizes she may have to do something desperate if she wants to defeat Impact here tonight. Impact slowly and groggily makes his way back up to his feet… SERENA BENNETT OFF THE TOP! FLYING CROSSBODY!!! IT CONNECTS!!!
Jake Mercer: NO! IMPACT CATCHES HER! HE THROWS HER BACK… FALLAWAY SLAM CONNECTS!!! Impact then turns around and grabs Serena by the hair dragging her back up. HE BACKHANDS THE SHIT OUTTA HER! THEN HE THROWS SERENA UP ON HIS SHOULDERS… A DEVASTATING POWERBOMB CONNECTS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! IMPACT GOES FOR THE PIN AS THE CROWD IS BOOING HIM BUT THEY ARE JUST IGNORANT OF HIS GREATNESS!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!
(DING! DING! DI-
Flannery McCoy: The kick out by Serena Bennett! I literally cannot.
Stew-O: Absolutely amazing drive to continue on by Serena Bennett here tonight. I hope that Kassidy Heart is watching this tonight and is shaking with fear from what she is going to have to deal with at Operation: Doomsday! Impact pulls up Serena and easily tosses her out of the ring like a ragdoll as she collapses on the outside. Impact now holding his arms up in victory as the crowd rages at the arrogance and audacity.
Crowd: YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
Jake Mercer: This is such disrespect to the greatest wrestler of all time. What is wrong with these people? We need to deport all of them to Gitmo immediately!
Flannery McCoy: This is what we call freedom of speech in this country Jake. That’s why for some reason you are allowed to be a commentator and poison this show every week.
Stew-O: Serena Bennett is shown slowly crawling back up into the ring. But Impact stomps on her hands as she crawls through the ropes. Impact wipes his boot on her purple hair as he laughs at her… LOW BLOW!!!!
Jake Mercer: NO! Impact caught her arm! Nice try! So predictable! They always go for the D!
Flannery McCoy: Serena probably lucky that didn’t work. It would have been an instant disqualification! Impact now twisting back Serena’s arm as she glared at him defiantly. He forces her down onto the ground and climbs on top of her pinning her arms down onto the mat. He reaches down and begins to choke the life out of her! Disqualify this man!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! GET THE HELL OFF! I WON’T ASK AGAIN!
Stew-O: Impact finally releases the hold! Or choke hold… Serena gasping for air as she coughs and heaves with the renewal of the oxygen within her.
Jake Mercer: She should really stop smoking so much. It’s bad for your lungs!
Flannery McCoy: Serena grabs the ropes flipping over onto her stomach as she tries to crawl away. But Impact charges in with a Running Kick right to the gut of Serena! Serena goes flying from the force of that kick across the ring. Impact has this match totally in control. You hate to see it!
Stew-O: Impact now stalking Serena heading her into getting up. She is wobbling unsure of her footing. But still Serena found a way to stand up! She turns around… EVISCERATION!!!!
Jake Mercer: IT CONNECTS!!!
Flannery McCoy: NO IT DOESN’T! IMPACT PULLED SERENA DOWN WITH THE CODEBREAKER BUT SHE FLIPPED OVER HIM WITH A CARTWHEEL! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!
Stew-O: Impact looks shocked as he quickly gets up but is met with a fast flurry of shots from Serena! Serena throwing rights, she throwing lefts, and she throwing in-betweens!
Jake Mercer: A boob shot?
Flannery McCoy: … Impact is reeling whatever it is! She has him back up against the ropes! IMPACT FALLS BACK INTO THE CORNER! WITH THE SHITS! SERENA WITH A COMBO OF TWO SHOOT KICKS! FOLLOWED BY A JUMPING BACK KICK! IMPACT COLLAPSES IN THE RING AS SERENA GOES FOR THE COVER! THIS HAS GOTTA BE IT!!
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Jake Mercer: OH MY GOD! CAN IT BE?!?!?
Flannery McCoy: NO! IT’S KASSIDY HEART! SHE JUST PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING! AND NOW SHE’S UP ON THE APRON…
Stew-O: SUPERKICK BY SERENA BENNETT SENDS KASSIDY OFF THE APRON! THE REFEREE YELLS AT HER TO GET OUT OF HERE!
Jake Mercer: SERENA TOOK HER EYES OFF THE PRIZE AGAIN! HAHAHA TURN AROUND IF YOU DARE!
Flannery McCoy: SERENA TURNS AROUND AS IMPACT CHARGES IN AND LIFTS HIS LEG…
Stew-O: A LOW BLOW CONNECTS!!!
Jake Mercer: Uhhh…
Flannery McCoy: I don’t care that she’s a woman! Call for the damn bell!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Stew-O: The referee looks confused but he called for the bell and the match is over… WAIT KASSIDY HEART IN THE RING WITH A STEEL CHAIR! SHE JUST TOOK SERENA’S HEAD OFF!!
Stephie Love: Alright listen to me now baby. This match has been real fine but the good brother official man just told me to call this match off. It seems that there was both outside interference on Impact’s behalf but he also used an illegal maneuver. Hmmm you boys and girls sure do need to learn to play nice with each other that’s all I’m sayin’.
Jake Mercer: A NO CONTEST?!?!? IMPACT WAS SCREWED! HOW CAN HE EVEN HIT A LOW BLOW? THERE’S NOTHING THERE!!!
Stew-O: I feel like you need to take some more biology lessons Jake. But Kassidy Heart is not done even if this match is!
(Impact is shown being handed back the World Heavyweight Championship and making his way up the ramp with a shit eating grin on his face. The crowd is shown booing and throwing trash at him as he leaves.)
Jake Mercer: Such disrespect to this legend. I am appalled by the behavior of these unwashed morons out here tonight. Kassidy Heart you might as well just finish Serena tonight and get her out of here so I don’t have to watch a travesty like this ever again.
Flannery McCoy: Come the hell on! Kassidy with another chair shot to the downed Serena! She slams the chair down hard on Serena’s back before grabbing her fingers. Kassidy now laughing at Serena’s ruined fingernails she tore off earlier digging into Impact’s abdomen.
Kassidy Heart: Awww not looking so fine are we? Well don’t worry I don’t think you will have to worry about using these much longer…
Stew-O: Ugh I can’t watch this!
Jake Mercer: Kassidy Heart just ripped one of Serena’s fingers out the socket! Is she going to rip them all out one by one?
Flannery McCoy: …Looks like it.
Kassidy Heart: Ugh this is boring me. Takes way too much time. I’m actually getting a little hungry so I think I’m going to take my lunch break. Ooo probably shouldn’t use the word “break”. Oh well. I’ve earned a little me time. But don’t worry. I always get the job done so I’ll just leave these here for later.
(Kassidy Heart reaches into her tights and pulls out a staple gun.)
Flannery McCoy: …
Stew: Oh please no!
Jake Mercer: KASSIDY HEART UNLEASHING STAPLE AFTER STAPLE INTO THE FINGERS OF SERENA BENNETT!
Flannery McCoy: Serena Bennett’s solemn cries of terror will haunt my dreams for the rest of my days.
Stew-O: This is sick! Somebody stop this!
Jake Mercer: Look at the bloody and contorted mess that once was Serena Bennett’s fingers. Now all I see is a lump of flesh and blood twisted and mangled by the dark designs of Kassidy Heart.
Flannery McCoy: Kassidy Heart truly has no heart.
Jake Mercer: Serena’s hands have been completely stapled down onto the ring mat. She can’t even move at this point without tearing off even more flesh and causing further damage. Wait what the hell is this? Oh God. Here comes the fun police…
Stew-O: Thankfully EAW officials and medical personnel have come down ringside and forced Kassidy Heart to leave. I don’t know if there will be any kind of disciplinary action but you have to wonder how Serena is going to be able to compete at Operation: Doomsday. She may have suffered permanent damage here tonight. We will certainly update our viewers the moment we learn more.
Flannery McCoy: Tonight should have been one of the biggest nights of Serena Bennett’s career. A chance to shine against one of EAW’s all time greatest performers. Instead it has turned into a nightmare. Serena has been held down… literally… by Kassidy Heart. As each staple is removed by officials you have to wonder what is going through the mind of Serena. It’s hard to say having never been in a position of complete and total destruction and humiliation yourself. One thing I know for sure… based on her performance not only tonight but across her entire career… when the final staple holding her down is removed… Serena Bennett will pull herself back up. She will rise and when that happens… Kassidy Heart had better watch her back.
(EAW Logo Buzzes.)